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1
00:00:01,593 --> 00:00:03,532
She's been dead maybe ten minutes.
2
00:00:03,583 --> 00:00:04,752
Like head chopped off.
3
00:00:04,783 --> 00:00:06,271
No, she died of, like,
natural causes.
4
00:00:06,309 --> 00:00:07,547
I'd do it, man.
5
00:00:07,574 --> 00:00:09,151
She was cute as hell in Commando.
6
00:00:09,382 --> 00:00:11,963
I'd show her who's the boss.
Poison her Ivy.
7
00:00:12,041 --> 00:00:14,185
Whoa. Something's up.
8
00:00:14,341 --> 00:00:16,593
Guys, we've been boiler roomed.
9
00:00:16,686 --> 00:00:18,924
Telamericorp was just a shell
of a company.
10
00:00:18,969 --> 00:00:21,963
Alice probably felt
some heat from the feds, right?
11
00:00:21,993 --> 00:00:23,924
So she packed up
in the middle of the night.
12
00:00:23,972 --> 00:00:26,716
That makes me Vin Diesel.
13
00:00:26,769 --> 00:00:28,185
Ooh, I'm Giovanni Ribisi.
14
00:00:28,210 --> 00:00:30,816
Oh, I'm like a Scott Cann-Jamie
Kennedy Combo Doggie then.
15
00:00:31,349 --> 00:00:33,780
Jamie Kennedy, maybe.
I feel that experience.
16
00:00:37,743 --> 00:00:39,954
Hello?
17
00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:41,422
It's Alice.
18
00:00:41,615 --> 00:00:42,958
Okay, let's talk.
19
00:00:43,083 --> 00:00:45,038
What's the vig
to get in on your game?
20
00:00:45,204 --> 00:00:46,390
Why aren't you here yet?
21
00:00:46,515 --> 00:00:48,125
Why aren't we where yet?
22
00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:50,894
Oh, Christ, you're at
the old offices, aren't you?
23
00:00:51,019 --> 00:00:53,463
We moved offices over the weekend.
24
00:00:53,588 --> 00:00:55,257
It's all I've talked about for weeks.
25
00:00:55,423 --> 00:00:57,467
Guys, we moved offices.
26
00:00:57,633 --> 00:01:00,137
- Oh, yeah, I totally forgot.
- Yeah, um, Alice...
27
00:01:00,262 --> 00:01:01,839
Oh, wait, wait, let me...
28
00:01:01,964 --> 00:01:04,575
Hey, Alice, so we're done
with the old office, right?
29
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:06,226
We're never going back?
30
00:01:06,392 --> 00:01:08,395
Yeah, never.
Now, get your asses over here
31
00:01:08,561 --> 00:01:09,546
and get to work, please.
32
00:01:09,671 --> 00:01:11,014
Okay, thanks, Alice.
33
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:12,749
You sound like
you're looking good today.
34
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,445
Oh, yeah!
35
00:01:23,351 --> 00:01:25,895
Destroy
36
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:27,997
Destroy
37
00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:30,699
I feel like
I'm at a Garth Brooks show.
38
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:33,369
Kick it.
He's talented.
39
00:01:43,262 --> 00:01:46,347
Hello?
Oh, hey, Alice.
40
00:01:46,472 --> 00:01:48,115
How are you?
What's up?
41
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:49,950
Hey, if you're still at the office,
42
00:01:53,979 --> 00:01:55,775
and not get the $8,000
security deposit back.
43
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,393
Um, no, no, no, no.
44
00:01:58,518 --> 00:02:00,322
You must have misunderstood us.
45
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,830
We are not at the old office.
46
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,132
We are watching
the old Office, the TV show,
47
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:07,802
on an iPad in the car
on the way to the new office.
48
00:02:07,927 --> 00:02:09,998
What? Hello?
49
00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:19,341
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
50
00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:28,776
Oh, hell no, bitch.
These offices suck.
51
00:02:28,843 --> 00:02:30,327
Where the hell are we
supposed to park?
52
00:02:30,351 --> 00:02:32,025
There's, like, no spots.
53
00:02:32,150 --> 00:02:33,527
Guess we gotta park on the street,
54
00:02:33,652 --> 00:02:35,398
even though there's
extra handicap spots.
55
00:02:35,564 --> 00:02:37,698
What the heck?
We have one handicapped dude
56
00:02:37,823 --> 00:02:39,199
at our office...
Wheelchair Mike.
57
00:02:39,324 --> 00:02:41,401
Lucky bitch.
I wish I were handicapped.
58
00:02:41,526 --> 00:02:42,948
Those guys are so lucky, dude.
59
00:02:43,114 --> 00:02:44,867
Human rabbits' feet.
60
00:02:45,033 --> 00:02:47,369
Alice, how many handicapped people
61
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,208
- do we have in this office?
- That a trick question?
62
00:02:49,333 --> 00:02:51,331
We have but one.
63
00:02:51,497 --> 00:02:52,678
Ooh, I'm gonna talk like that too.
64
00:02:52,803 --> 00:02:56,114
Alas, there are but two
handicap parking spots,
65
00:02:56,239 --> 00:02:58,808
which is arithmetic, milady.
66
00:02:58,851 --> 00:03:00,321
Yeah, you do the math.
Hmm?
67
00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,592
Alice, what they're trying
to say is that
68
00:03:01,674 --> 00:03:02,847
there's no spots out there
69
00:03:02,878 --> 00:03:04,353
for normal people like us, all right?
70
00:03:04,379 --> 00:03:06,241
So I'm out there,
parked on the street,
71
00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:07,741
and what, I'm supposed to, what,
72
00:03:07,776 --> 00:03:09,045
move my car every two hours?
73
00:03:09,084 --> 00:03:10,207
- That's stupid.
- Get real.
74
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,544
Act real, Alice, 'cause guess what.
75
00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:16,398
We're here every day at 10:00.
Okay, maybe 10:02.
76
00:03:16,439 --> 00:03:18,668
But when we get here, the
parking lot's all packed out,
77
00:03:18,692 --> 00:03:19,942
and we're S .O.O.L.
78
00:03:19,984 --> 00:03:21,949
So why don't you just
scratch our butts a little bit
79
00:03:22,003 --> 00:03:24,966
and give us the bonus
handicap parking spot, okay?
80
00:03:24,988 --> 00:03:27,450
First of all, work starts at 9:00.
81
00:03:27,616 --> 00:03:28,827
Yeah. And see this?
82
00:03:28,993 --> 00:03:30,279
This is me making a note
83
00:03:30,404 --> 00:03:33,382
of giving you that spot.
84
00:03:33,507 --> 00:03:38,753
"Give parking spot to idiots.
Change tampon... kill self."
85
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:41,089
Uhh, change tampon...
Grody.
86
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,507
That's not funny.
Don't kill yourself.
87
00:03:42,673 --> 00:03:43,827
- Hey, Anders...
- What? Hang on.
88
00:03:43,952 --> 00:03:45,162
If you're parked on the street,
89
00:03:45,287 --> 00:03:46,530
there's a guy out there
writing tickets.
90
00:03:46,655 --> 00:03:48,766
- Move it! Move it!
- See?
91
00:03:48,891 --> 00:03:50,402
- Great.
- We were just kidding
92
00:03:50,527 --> 00:03:51,669
about that 10:00 thing.
93
00:03:51,794 --> 00:03:53,893
We get here every day at, uh...
At...
94
00:03:54,059 --> 00:03:55,707
- 9:00.
- 9:00! That's when we get...
95
00:03:55,832 --> 00:03:58,064
Because we're working.
96
00:03:58,230 --> 00:04:01,276
Hey, Wayman! Move!
God... sorry!
97
00:04:03,819 --> 00:04:06,117
No, no, no, no, no, no!
No! No! No!
98
00:04:06,242 --> 00:04:08,086
Hey, hey, hey.
Halt! Stop! Buddy, hey...
99
00:04:08,211 --> 00:04:09,784
Buddy, buddy, buddy, come...
100
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:11,577
You gotta be kidding me, man!
101
00:04:11,743 --> 00:04:15,248
Gotta be kidding me.
What... no!
102
00:04:15,414 --> 00:04:17,561
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Hey, you chill out, buddy.
103
00:04:17,686 --> 00:04:20,545
You're gonna bust a nut, and I'm
not talking that good kind.
104
00:04:20,711 --> 00:04:22,499
Just throw it away, man.
Pretend like you never got it.
105
00:04:22,624 --> 00:04:24,716
That's what I did with my std test.
106
00:04:24,882 --> 00:04:25,968
You can't do that.
107
00:04:26,093 --> 00:04:28,678
That's, like, socially dangerous.
108
00:04:35,936 --> 00:04:37,520
Ooh-hoo-hoo!
109
00:04:37,686 --> 00:04:40,130
We're surrounded by ghosts.
The place is haunted.
110
00:04:40,161 --> 00:04:41,749
Built on a burial ground.
I'm positive of it.
111
00:04:41,776 --> 00:04:43,652
It is so weird you said that,
112
00:04:43,818 --> 00:04:45,403
'cause right when you said that,
I got chills.
113
00:04:45,569 --> 00:04:47,190
- Yeah, I'm freezing.
- There's that... vent.
114
00:04:47,228 --> 00:04:48,615
There's a vent right there.
115
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,650
- Yeah, there's a vent up there.
- There's still ghosts.
116
00:04:50,674 --> 00:04:51,903
I don't think it's the vent,
either...
117
00:04:52,054 --> 00:04:53,328
Hey, guys, shut the fuck up
for a second.
118
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:56,233
Ticket... 60 bucks
for street cleaning.
119
00:04:56,358 --> 00:04:58,474
- 60 bucks?
- What?
120
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:00,355
You know how many corndogs
we could buy with that?
121
00:05:00,386 --> 00:05:02,455
- Like, three boxes.
- Yeah, a lot of corndogs.
122
00:05:02,483 --> 00:05:04,094
60. They're, like,
going for a dollar. Yeah.
123
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,658
I don't understand Alice.
124
00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,752
She clogs up the parking lot arteries
125
00:05:07,809 --> 00:05:09,126
with all these handicap spots,
126
00:05:09,174 --> 00:05:10,509
where regular people can't even park.
127
00:05:10,538 --> 00:05:11,895
It's all mutant parking.
128
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,189
Who knew having a car
was gonna be such a drag?
129
00:05:14,402 --> 00:05:16,062
Makes you wonder
how somebody like Drake
130
00:05:16,091 --> 00:05:17,229
handles their entire fleet.
131
00:05:17,278 --> 00:05:18,690
Yeah, well, he's from
a lawless country.
132
00:05:18,714 --> 00:05:20,355
There's no laws.
Here in the U.S.,
133
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,024
you gotta work within the system.
134
00:05:22,190 --> 00:05:23,962
Okay, if you want
a handicap parking pass,
135
00:05:24,009 --> 00:05:25,628
you gotta go out and get
a handicap parking pass.
136
00:05:25,654 --> 00:05:27,531
You gotta beat the system up
from the inside.
137
00:05:27,656 --> 00:05:30,448
Like rappers with vaginas.
Like, because they beat 'em.
138
00:05:30,614 --> 00:05:31,873
- Yeah.
- Whatever it takes, man.
139
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,289
I just don't want to get
another ticket.
140
00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:34,034
I mean, is it weird
141
00:05:34,052 --> 00:05:36,316
if we made up a handicap,
like, a disease?
142
00:05:36,358 --> 00:05:38,014
What's the disease
that old people get
143
00:05:38,043 --> 00:05:39,301
where you start forgetting things?
144
00:05:39,347 --> 00:05:40,432
- What is that?
- Old timers.
145
00:05:40,486 --> 00:05:41,734
Yeah, still,
146
00:05:41,778 --> 00:05:43,049
I don't know if that's a good idea.
147
00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:44,524
It's not cool to pretend
you're handicapped.
148
00:05:44,547 --> 00:05:45,938
- Right?
- Whoa!
149
00:05:46,144 --> 00:05:47,421
I got it.
150
00:05:47,546 --> 00:05:49,556
Telamericorp is hiring, right?
151
00:05:49,681 --> 00:05:51,891
We can ask our real-life
handicapped cousin Devin
152
00:05:52,016 --> 00:05:54,556
to work here, and use his pass!
153
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:56,295
- Yeah. That'll work.
- All right.
154
00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:57,726
I haven't seen him
in a while, though.
155
00:05:57,892 --> 00:05:58,897
I'm excited to see him.
156
00:05:59,022 --> 00:06:00,365
He couldn't come to Thanksgiving
157
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:01,866
because my grandma's house
has stairs,
158
00:06:01,991 --> 00:06:04,899
and he can't walk up stairs!
159
00:06:05,409 --> 00:06:07,716
Oh, man, that guy.
160
00:06:17,438 --> 00:06:19,473
Oh, jeez!
161
00:06:19,639 --> 00:06:22,101
Are there cats everywhere?
162
00:06:22,267 --> 00:06:24,158
Devin?
163
00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:26,439
- Some funky cold medina.
- Adam?
164
00:06:26,605 --> 00:06:28,483
What's the story with this dude?
165
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:31,444
His name was just Devin.
Devin Demamp.
166
00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:37,283
He was just like us...
Cool, handsome, gnar.
167
00:06:37,449 --> 00:06:40,042
Two years ago,
he saw this little girl...
168
00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:42,278
Crossing the street.
169
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:45,060
This fire truck was
barreling towards her and just...
170
00:06:45,185 --> 00:06:46,751
- Bam!
- Oh!
171
00:06:46,917 --> 00:06:49,585
Jeez!
172
00:06:49,710 --> 00:06:53,216
Truck knocks me 40 feet
straight into a brick wall.
173
00:06:53,382 --> 00:06:55,156
Now I'm ballin'
off government checks
174
00:06:55,281 --> 00:06:56,525
Like Obama bin laden
175
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,846
Oh. Oh, sure.
176
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:03,059
- Yeah!
- All right. You remember.
177
00:07:03,225 --> 00:07:04,766
- He taught me that.
- What's up?
178
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:08,135
- What's going on?
- What is going on, my hero?
179
00:07:08,260 --> 00:07:09,403
Nada mucho.
180
00:07:09,528 --> 00:07:11,818
Who are the, uh, butt twins?
181
00:07:11,984 --> 00:07:13,707
- Oh, the butt twins?
- Yeah.
182
00:07:13,832 --> 00:07:15,908
This is Ders, and this is Blake.
183
00:07:16,033 --> 00:07:19,679
This is my cousin Devin.
184
00:07:19,804 --> 00:07:21,036
Please, call me big fat.
185
00:07:21,202 --> 00:07:22,282
- Right.
- No, dummy.
186
00:07:22,407 --> 00:07:23,579
Hand me the churro plate behind you.
187
00:07:23,745 --> 00:07:26,552
He got you, dude.
188
00:07:26,677 --> 00:07:29,043
- Thank you so much.
- He got you. He's funny.
189
00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:31,724
He's a funny dude.
190
00:07:31,849 --> 00:07:33,326
- You're looking good, man.
- Oh, thank you.
191
00:07:33,451 --> 00:07:34,966
You dropped some lbs, huh?
192
00:07:35,132 --> 00:07:36,630
Yeah, I lost some weight.
Where'd it go?
193
00:07:36,755 --> 00:07:38,499
- Oh, there it is. Get it back.
- Oh, I'll get it.
194
00:07:42,222 --> 00:07:45,807
- I love that.
- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
195
00:07:45,932 --> 00:07:47,776
It feels like
a real woman's boob, dude.
196
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:48,938
- Tickles, bro.
- Get in here.
197
00:07:49,104 --> 00:07:50,479
Blake, hit this, man.
198
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,448
- You sure?
- Yeah. Do it.
199
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:53,902
- Oh!
- Whoa!
200
00:07:56,195 --> 00:07:58,254
- Hey, Ders, come try it, man.
- I'm good, I'm good.
201
00:07:58,379 --> 00:08:00,241
I don't want to lose
my watch, so you know....
202
00:08:00,407 --> 00:08:02,994
Gay dudes... always worried
about time.
203
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:04,662
Is that true?
I didn't know that.
204
00:08:04,828 --> 00:08:08,729
So you guys seem to be getting
a pretty sweet dealio,
205
00:08:08,854 --> 00:08:11,711
- but what's in it for me?
- Duh. You get to get out
206
00:08:11,877 --> 00:08:13,337
of this sorry basement,
and you get a job.
207
00:08:13,503 --> 00:08:16,571
Duh, why would I want
to do that, smart guy?
208
00:08:16,696 --> 00:08:17,872
Take a look around.
209
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:21,512
Xbox Live, Howard TV, My Cat Circus.
210
00:08:21,678 --> 00:08:22,910
You are a gangster, man.
You're like...
211
00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:24,557
Rick Ross with extra sauce.
212
00:08:24,723 --> 00:08:26,768
Yeah, you're like a one-man G Unit!
213
00:08:26,934 --> 00:08:28,250
Come on, ask him.
214
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,105
Actually, we really do
need that pass, man.
215
00:08:31,271 --> 00:08:33,789
Unfortunately,
Ders' micro-machine penis
216
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,458
doesn't classify him as handicapped.
217
00:08:35,583 --> 00:08:36,892
It should, though.
218
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,864
It should, though, it's so small.
219
00:08:40,030 --> 00:08:41,864
You wanna see it?
You keep calling it small?
220
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,243
Might as well just show it to you.
221
00:08:43,409 --> 00:08:44,466
Wait, I wanna see it.
222
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:45,934
I got front-row seats over here.
223
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,998
My dick's bigger than yours.
224
00:08:49,164 --> 00:08:50,839
- You wanna see it?
- I've seen it. I've seen it!
225
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,419
- Whoa, slow down.
- I've seen it.
226
00:08:52,585 --> 00:08:55,043
Keep your grub worm
in its hole, okay?
227
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,506
I can tell you it's bigger
than a cat's dick.
228
00:08:57,672 --> 00:09:00,215
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry about that, dude.
229
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:03,386
But will you help a brother
that's actually a cousin out,
230
00:09:03,511 --> 00:09:06,599
just 'cause... my brother?
231
00:09:06,765 --> 00:09:08,124
We get it, dude.
We get it.
232
00:09:08,391 --> 00:09:09,769
Sit in your chair, chub up.
233
00:09:09,935 --> 00:09:11,729
But all we're asking for
is a parking pass.
234
00:09:11,895 --> 00:09:13,856
- That's it.
- Yeah.
235
00:09:14,022 --> 00:09:15,984
All right,
you guys can have the pass.
236
00:09:16,150 --> 00:09:17,667
- It's cool.
- What'd I say? What'd I say?
237
00:09:17,792 --> 00:09:19,695
Now, get on out of here.
I'm about to watch
238
00:09:19,861 --> 00:09:22,365
a chick masturbate with a summer
sausage on the Internet.
239
00:09:22,531 --> 00:09:25,034
Oh, no, you don't.
Devin.
240
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:26,703
These boys just offered you a job,
241
00:09:26,869 --> 00:09:28,011
and you are taking it.
242
00:09:28,136 --> 00:09:30,999
Mom, I'm not taking some stupid job!
243
00:09:31,165 --> 00:09:32,748
Can we not do this again?
244
00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,668
Your disability is about to run out,
245
00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:35,884
and I am not footing the bill
246
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,553
while you masturbate your life away!
247
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:40,216
- Mama!
- Dude, it's cool.
248
00:09:40,382 --> 00:09:41,884
You can just come
and try it out... I work there.
249
00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:43,693
- No!
- Devin Demamp!
250
00:09:43,818 --> 00:09:46,556
I will call animal services
to come for your cats.
251
00:09:46,722 --> 00:09:50,601
Someone get me a bucket and soap.
252
00:09:50,726 --> 00:09:53,396
Big fat's about to get a job.
253
00:09:53,562 --> 00:09:55,607
- Here we are.
- Yeah.
254
00:09:58,001 --> 00:09:59,277
- Oh, yeah.
- Like a glove.
255
00:09:59,402 --> 00:10:01,479
Livin' that handicap life!
256
00:10:01,604 --> 00:10:03,698
- This... is parking.
- There we go.
257
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:06,751
- Yeah, mama!
- There you go, big buddy.
258
00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:08,186
I don't want to sound arrogant,
259
00:10:08,311 --> 00:10:10,346
but I feel like I was
always meant to park
260
00:10:10,371 --> 00:10:11,215
in handicap spots.
261
00:10:11,255 --> 00:10:13,499
You're basically
a handicapped dude, my brother.
262
00:10:13,511 --> 00:10:16,093
- Don't I know it.
- Now, this is parking!
263
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,548
I just said that.
This is parking.
264
00:10:17,567 --> 00:10:18,792
There's no other way
to say it, though.
265
00:10:18,823 --> 00:10:20,951
- This is parking.
- Hey, guys!
266
00:10:21,048 --> 00:10:23,634
I'm stuck!
267
00:10:23,759 --> 00:10:26,679
Yo!
Seriously, I'm stuck.
268
00:10:26,845 --> 00:10:28,972
Yeah, I forgot how fat you were, bud.
269
00:10:29,097 --> 00:10:30,516
Can't get out of the car.
270
00:10:38,081 --> 00:10:40,202
So welcome to the dragon's lair.
271
00:10:40,327 --> 00:10:42,037
That's what I call the break room.
272
00:10:42,162 --> 00:10:43,338
- It's pretty sick.
- Yeah.
273
00:10:43,369 --> 00:10:44,379
We're gonna go talk to Alice,
274
00:10:44,397 --> 00:10:45,644
get you a job!
275
00:10:45,666 --> 00:10:47,207
Whoa, whoa.
276
00:10:47,243 --> 00:10:48,451
Pump the brakes, fellas.
277
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:49,896
You guys already have
the parking spot,
278
00:10:49,919 --> 00:10:51,058
you're good to go.
279
00:10:51,083 --> 00:10:52,998
And as long as my mom thinks
I have a job here,
280
00:10:53,028 --> 00:10:54,004
I'm good to go.
281
00:10:54,054 --> 00:10:55,741
But there ain't a chance in hell
282
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:57,718
that I'm clocking in
to this fart factory.
283
00:10:57,736 --> 00:10:58,828
- Not happening.
- All right.
284
00:10:59,101 --> 00:11:02,147
All right, well, hey, here is the TV.
285
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:05,626
So enjoy The View.
The show. The show The View.
286
00:11:05,899 --> 00:11:07,595
All right, guys, let's go.
We got work to do.
287
00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,113
Uh, we make the world turn,
unlike you.
288
00:11:10,279 --> 00:11:12,534
That and my stomach.
289
00:11:14,450 --> 00:11:16,118
Stay fat, bro.
290
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:18,074
Ow!
291
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:21,833
- All right. Love you, bro.
- Love you too, dude.
292
00:11:21,999 --> 00:11:27,255
Don't mind if I squeeze...
Yes.
293
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:30,175
How you doing?
294
00:11:33,113 --> 00:11:36,555
Some butt you got there.
Yeah.
295
00:11:36,721 --> 00:11:37,682
Do you wipe it?
296
00:11:37,848 --> 00:11:40,351
I'm kidding.
297
00:11:40,517 --> 00:11:41,936
But seriously, can I?
298
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,980
I don't appreciate you
talking to me like that.
299
00:11:44,146 --> 00:11:47,441
Okay. I'm being selfish.
300
00:11:47,607 --> 00:11:48,818
How 'bout I start over?
301
00:11:48,984 --> 00:11:51,862
Do you, uh, wanna suck my tits?
302
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:54,366
Come here.
303
00:11:54,532 --> 00:11:56,599
This is called a floor fan.
304
00:11:57,090 --> 00:11:59,275
It goes on a floor, and...
305
00:12:00,940 --> 00:12:02,283
What? My yogurt?
306
00:12:02,408 --> 00:12:04,264
In the break room?
Oh, my go...
307
00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:06,248
I gotta call you back.
About to catch me a case.
308
00:12:06,266 --> 00:12:07,618
Yo, let's go!
309
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,923
You don't eat a man's yogurt.
That's all I can eat.
310
00:12:09,949 --> 00:12:11,255
You know what I'm saying?
I'm on a diet.
311
00:12:11,284 --> 00:12:12,361
This is unbelievable.
312
00:12:12,486 --> 00:12:13,842
- Someone eatin' my yogurt.
- Fight?
313
00:12:13,906 --> 00:12:15,450
I will kill a man right now.
314
00:12:15,481 --> 00:12:16,965
Who's fighting?
Is someone fighting?
315
00:12:16,994 --> 00:12:19,276
Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight!
316
00:12:19,300 --> 00:12:21,035
You can't be snackin'
on my snacks like that!
317
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:23,105
Gimme the news, not
the dick breath, ya butt slug!
318
00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:24,876
- I'll eat what I want!
- You got no respect
319
00:12:24,889 --> 00:12:26,301
for another man's live cultures.
320
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,444
We about to get it on!
321
00:12:27,465 --> 00:12:28,980
Okay, let's go!
322
00:12:30,588 --> 00:12:32,031
Get off my cousin!
323
00:12:32,238 --> 00:12:34,715
- Get off me! Get off me!
- Watch it, dude.
324
00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:36,428
Okay, what the hell
is going on in here?
325
00:12:36,486 --> 00:12:38,662
Listen, lady, why don't you just...
326
00:12:41,286 --> 00:12:46,056
Why don't I apologize
to everyone in this room
327
00:12:46,181 --> 00:12:48,463
for what I just did...
Totally uncalled for.
328
00:12:48,588 --> 00:12:49,795
I'm sorry, everyone.
329
00:12:49,961 --> 00:12:52,382
Sure. Great.
What are you?
330
00:12:52,548 --> 00:12:55,134
He's my cousin!
331
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:57,163
Of course he is.
332
00:12:57,196 --> 00:12:58,771
And since we're hiring,
I figured he'd be
333
00:12:58,798 --> 00:13:00,842
a great member
of the sales team, right?
334
00:13:00,967 --> 00:13:03,851
- Plus, he's a local hero.
- Yeah. He sure is.
335
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,186
Jumped in front of a fire truck,
saved a little girl's life.
336
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:09,148
Miss, I promise you
I will give you my best,
337
00:13:09,314 --> 00:13:10,524
and I will deliver.
338
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:12,018
All right, whatever, but you three
339
00:13:12,143 --> 00:13:13,553
are responsible for training him.
340
00:13:13,678 --> 00:13:16,239
And if he doesn't deliver,
it's on you.
341
00:13:16,405 --> 00:13:18,224
What are you looking at?
Come on, let's go!
342
00:13:18,349 --> 00:13:20,760
- He ate my yogurt.
- Team Demamp!
343
00:13:20,885 --> 00:13:25,565
Yes. Aw, dude, we just
got you a job. Team Demamp.
344
00:13:25,690 --> 00:13:27,750
- Oh, hi.
- Cat lover?
345
00:13:27,916 --> 00:13:30,303
Oh, yes. Uh, it's actually
the anniversary
346
00:13:30,428 --> 00:13:32,272
of my cat Brent Hoffman's death.
347
00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:34,632
I miss my dead, dead cat.
348
00:13:34,798 --> 00:13:36,843
- I am so sorry to hear that.
- Thank you.
349
00:13:37,009 --> 00:13:38,646
Now I'm the proud owner of seven,
350
00:13:38,771 --> 00:13:41,097
which some people think is weird.
351
00:13:41,263 --> 00:13:43,224
You know, I think it's weird
if you don't have more.
352
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:45,120
Well, I did until this one died.
353
00:13:47,246 --> 00:13:50,224
You know, I have a dozen cats myself.
354
00:13:50,349 --> 00:13:52,108
You should come over and breed.
355
00:13:52,274 --> 00:13:54,360
With my cats.
356
00:13:54,526 --> 00:13:56,196
- Oh.
- Cats.
357
00:13:56,321 --> 00:13:57,572
You should breed with my cats.
358
00:13:57,738 --> 00:13:59,281
Well, yeah, that would be nice.
359
00:13:59,447 --> 00:14:00,699
- Yeah. Okay.
- But I should...
360
00:14:00,771 --> 00:14:01,964
- I should go.
- Totally.
361
00:14:01,970 --> 00:14:03,634
- It was nice to meet you.
- So nice meeting you.
362
00:14:03,658 --> 00:14:06,378
- Yeah.
- Okay. We'll see ya.
363
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,374
- Okay...
- Damn.
364
00:14:08,404 --> 00:14:12,382
Move over, Ms. Quiznos,
big fat's got a new chick.
365
00:14:14,008 --> 00:14:15,641
If you really wanted
to make a good joke,
366
00:14:15,698 --> 00:14:18,304
you could have said
"move over miss Wendy's,"
367
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,566
- 'cause it's a woman.
- You see this?
368
00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:22,542
It means not Wendy's.
369
00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:24,124
- Mmm, toasty!
- Okay.
370
00:14:24,146 --> 00:14:25,815
- Yeah, that's hardcore.
- That gets me hungry, dude!
371
00:14:25,843 --> 00:14:26,776
That's hardcore.
372
00:14:34,496 --> 00:14:38,004
Telamericorp's sales
techniques could be summarized
373
00:14:38,034 --> 00:14:40,137
as, I don't know, I guess the...
374
00:14:40,169 --> 00:14:42,464
All right, you're gonna
want to listen to this.
375
00:14:42,518 --> 00:14:44,911
Shh.
I'm kinda in the middle
376
00:14:44,940 --> 00:14:46,617
of being in love here, Ders.
377
00:14:46,742 --> 00:14:48,585
Just listen to Ders.
He's the best in the biz.
378
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:50,955
We'll get you on the phone.
You'll be stacking cash, man.
379
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:52,824
Yeah, man, you could make it rain
380
00:14:52,949 --> 00:14:54,768
on Jillian's nude sleeping self.
381
00:14:54,934 --> 00:14:56,394
Hey, you know what?
I got a better idea.
382
00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:57,929
You wanna hear a song I wrote, guys?
383
00:14:58,054 --> 00:15:00,731
- Sure.
- Ooh...
384
00:15:02,733 --> 00:15:04,527
- I gotta let this one fly, boys.
- Oh, that's foul.
385
00:15:08,031 --> 00:15:09,641
Smells like waffles.
386
00:15:09,766 --> 00:15:11,844
No, it doesn't smell like
anything from this planet.
387
00:15:11,969 --> 00:15:13,346
How many waffles
have you been eating?
388
00:15:13,471 --> 00:15:15,581
We're trying to help you, big fat.
389
00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:17,283
I mean, yes, we want
your parking pass,
390
00:15:17,408 --> 00:15:19,419
but don't you want to
do anything with your life?
391
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:20,835
This is what you call a life?
392
00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:22,389
Is this your legacy?
393
00:15:22,514 --> 00:15:25,025
Is this your Sistine chapel?
394
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:27,194
Here lies Ders, the Telameridork,
395
00:15:27,319 --> 00:15:29,010
father of two broke gays.
396
00:15:29,176 --> 00:15:32,264
I saved a little girl's life, bro.
397
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:33,807
I'm a hero.
398
00:15:33,973 --> 00:15:35,868
You are not a hero.
You're human mold
399
00:15:35,993 --> 00:15:37,101
in breakaway sweatpants.
400
00:15:37,267 --> 00:15:38,370
You're the kind of stain
401
00:15:38,495 --> 00:15:40,171
that makes Adam
throw out his underwear.
402
00:15:40,296 --> 00:15:42,574
Get him!
Wait, what?
403
00:15:42,699 --> 00:15:43,983
How 'bout I just take my parking pass
404
00:15:44,149 --> 00:15:45,693
and get on outta here?
405
00:15:45,859 --> 00:15:47,045
- Go.
- Okay, I'm going.
406
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:48,487
- I can't take this.
- Hey, honey.
407
00:15:48,653 --> 00:15:49,780
You wanna roll with me,
408
00:15:49,946 --> 00:15:51,448
grab some lunch, rule the world?
409
00:15:51,614 --> 00:15:53,451
I'm sorry, I'm on
the phone... just one second.
410
00:15:53,617 --> 00:15:55,245
Fuck this. I'm outta here.
411
00:15:55,411 --> 00:15:57,456
All right.
412
00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,481
Big fat, my man, chill out.
413
00:15:59,516 --> 00:16:01,793
We're all a little worked up,
probably from that fart.
414
00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:03,897
Dude, that was a barn burner!
415
00:16:03,935 --> 00:16:05,661
Hey, come on, let's
be feasible or whatever.
416
00:16:05,696 --> 00:16:07,192
Slow down.
Give us a few days, okay?
417
00:16:07,223 --> 00:16:08,533
We're gonna figure this out.
418
00:16:08,658 --> 00:16:09,889
We don't need to figure anything out.
419
00:16:09,926 --> 00:16:11,446
I'm gonna go
park the car on the street.
420
00:16:11,472 --> 00:16:12,576
We'll take the bus.
421
00:16:12,611 --> 00:16:14,572
Do our part.
Save the planet!
422
00:16:14,639 --> 00:16:16,964
Okay, I give up.
We need that pass
423
00:16:17,033 --> 00:16:18,409
because I cannot ride the bus.
424
00:16:18,465 --> 00:16:20,243
Homeless people wipe their hands
off in my hair.
425
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,521
So once again, it is arithmetic, man.
426
00:16:22,687 --> 00:16:25,304
And if I'm being real,
I'm worried about you, man.
427
00:16:25,378 --> 00:16:27,116
What are you gonna do when
your disability runs out?
428
00:16:27,163 --> 00:16:29,665
- Huh?
- Really? You too?
429
00:16:29,725 --> 00:16:31,326
Hey, your cuz, he's right.
430
00:16:31,483 --> 00:16:32,877
That horrific accident you were in,
431
00:16:32,906 --> 00:16:34,037
that was lucky.
432
00:16:34,072 --> 00:16:36,483
And we can't make lightning
strike luck twice.
433
00:16:36,889 --> 00:16:38,079
We can't.
434
00:16:38,245 --> 00:16:40,039
Or can we?
435
00:16:40,205 --> 00:16:42,503
Make lightning do what Blake...
436
00:16:42,628 --> 00:16:44,960
Said it doesn't do.
437
00:16:45,126 --> 00:16:47,708
Workman's comp.
You get hurt at work,
438
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,924
the checks don't stop.
439
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:52,343
How do we even know
this is something that's real?
440
00:16:52,509 --> 00:16:53,780
Oh, come on, sad dads across America
441
00:16:53,905 --> 00:16:54,947
do it all the time.
442
00:16:55,072 --> 00:16:56,472
Probably one doing it right now.
443
00:16:56,638 --> 00:16:59,451
Guys, I'm just gonna think
about this.
444
00:16:59,576 --> 00:17:02,604
I didn't know a hero
could be such a big pussy.
445
00:17:02,770 --> 00:17:04,456
Suit me up.
446
00:17:04,581 --> 00:17:05,658
- Yes!
- All right!
447
00:17:05,783 --> 00:17:07,259
- Yeah!
- It's gonna be cool!
448
00:17:07,384 --> 00:17:11,278
That's what I'm
talking about, brother.
449
00:17:11,444 --> 00:17:13,300
- Ready?
- Throw!
450
00:17:18,702 --> 00:17:21,375
Whoa!
451
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,577
You got some air!
You got some air!
452
00:17:23,702 --> 00:17:26,127
- Did you break anything?
- Nope.
453
00:17:26,293 --> 00:17:28,582
- Unh!
- Nothin'.
454
00:17:28,707 --> 00:17:31,632
- What?
- What are you doing, Devin?
455
00:17:31,798 --> 00:17:34,593
I... fell.
456
00:17:34,759 --> 00:17:36,657
No, we pushed him, okay?
457
00:17:36,782 --> 00:17:39,038
This guy wants to go back
to living in his basement,
458
00:17:39,082 --> 00:17:40,676
so we're giving him workman's comp
459
00:17:40,707 --> 00:17:42,394
in exchange for
a handicap parking pass.
460
00:17:42,559 --> 00:17:44,064
I wish somebody would have told me
461
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:46,334
that I was working on Saturday,
462
00:17:46,459 --> 00:17:47,774
'cause this is just sad.
463
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:51,271
All of this on the day
that would have been
464
00:17:51,297 --> 00:17:54,280
my cat Brent's 27th birthday
in human years.
465
00:17:54,757 --> 00:17:57,052
He never even got to ride
a roller coaster.
466
00:17:57,075 --> 00:17:59,566
Sorry about your cat,
but don't blame big fat.
467
00:17:59,607 --> 00:18:01,824
Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.
468
00:18:01,899 --> 00:18:04,271
You guys are just as sad.
469
00:18:04,581 --> 00:18:05,949
I... I shouldn't even say this,
470
00:18:05,981 --> 00:18:07,253
but I was coming in here to tell you
471
00:18:07,272 --> 00:18:08,902
- you're getting another ticket.
- What?
472
00:18:08,916 --> 00:18:11,437
I just moved it!
473
00:18:12,005 --> 00:18:13,731
Hey, we'll see you later, big dude.
474
00:18:13,756 --> 00:18:14,962
- Thanks anyways.
- Later.
475
00:18:14,974 --> 00:18:16,078
I'll come over in a few weeks,
476
00:18:16,091 --> 00:18:17,410
eat some tortas.
477
00:18:17,459 --> 00:18:20,354
This can't be happening.
I just want a fair shake!
478
00:18:20,383 --> 00:18:23,388
Can I just get a...
You!
479
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:26,677
This is your fault.
I'm gonna rip your tits off
480
00:18:26,708 --> 00:18:29,095
and use 'em as cereal bowls!
You get me?
481
00:18:29,355 --> 00:18:33,778
The cleaners!
482
00:18:40,117 --> 00:18:42,328
Holy!
483
00:18:42,387 --> 00:18:45,732
- Are you okay? That was insane!
- That was a close call.
484
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:48,020
- That was insane!
- Oh, we thought we lost you.
485
00:18:48,032 --> 00:18:49,837
I don't think
that's gonna happen, buddy.
486
00:18:49,855 --> 00:18:51,624
Oh, my God! Dude look at his leg!
487
00:18:51,917 --> 00:18:54,087
Who needs a leg
when all you wanna do is
488
00:18:54,131 --> 00:18:57,302
eat doritos
and watch Brazzers all day?
489
00:18:57,362 --> 00:18:59,197
- We did it!
- Yeah!
490
00:18:59,469 --> 00:19:01,680
- Oh, damn, we kinda did.
- Just... yeah.
491
00:19:01,805 --> 00:19:03,405
The city's gonna owe you millions.
492
00:19:03,429 --> 00:19:04,781
If not thousands.
493
00:19:04,981 --> 00:19:06,612
Hey, now, somebody tie something
around my leg
494
00:19:06,643 --> 00:19:08,987
before I croak out here,
you hand jobs!
495
00:19:09,050 --> 00:19:11,156
No, I got it. I gotcha.
I'll belt you up.
496
00:19:11,708 --> 00:19:13,521
Devin, I saw the whole thing
from the window.
497
00:19:13,533 --> 00:19:15,533
- Are you okay?
- Oh, Jillian, yeah.
498
00:19:15,553 --> 00:19:17,347
- I'll be fine.
- Good, 'cause look at me.
499
00:19:17,370 --> 00:19:20,110
We are definitely gonna have
our cats.
500
00:19:20,157 --> 00:19:21,870
You know, you don't want
to get mixed up
501
00:19:21,888 --> 00:19:23,464
with a guy like me.
502
00:19:23,549 --> 00:19:26,769
- I'm just a big ol' fat...
- Hero.
503
00:19:27,046 --> 00:19:29,356
You're a big ol' fat hero.
504
00:19:29,424 --> 00:19:31,652
I was wrong about you, man.
You deserve every cent
505
00:19:31,667 --> 00:19:33,700
- coming to you for this.
- No, bro.
506
00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:37,534
I was wrong about you.
You're not gay at all.
507
00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,035
You're probably bi, though.
508
00:19:40,093 --> 00:19:41,737
- He's definitely bi.
- Oh, God!
509
00:19:41,768 --> 00:19:43,931
- That's cool.
- That's cheating, I feel.
510
00:19:44,097 --> 00:19:46,058
Yeah. Yeah.
511
00:19:46,284 --> 00:19:47,685
There it is.
512
00:19:47,852 --> 00:19:49,562
Ah, good movie.
513
00:19:49,687 --> 00:19:51,097
- That's a good movie.
- Great movie.
514
00:19:51,222 --> 00:19:53,399
Look at all these suckers
in regular parking.
515
00:19:53,524 --> 00:19:55,635
You're a bitch!
We're handicapped!
516
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,112
Dude, your cousin big fat is the man!
517
00:19:58,362 --> 00:20:01,491
Yeah, us Demamps are
pretty raw dog as a people.
518
00:20:01,657 --> 00:20:03,877
Didn't like the guy at first,
but he came through.
519
00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:06,120
And here we ar...
520
00:20:11,458 --> 00:20:15,004
W-t?
521
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,691
Alice, I Demamp to know what you did
522
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:20,510
with that bonus
handicap parking space. Hmm?
523
00:20:20,676 --> 00:20:23,564
- Why do you care?
- Come on, we are advocates
524
00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:25,165
for the Handi-Captains,
525
00:20:25,290 --> 00:20:26,890
and that's the one thing
you should know about us.
526
00:20:27,056 --> 00:20:28,226
You should know that about us.
527
00:20:28,392 --> 00:20:30,436
Look, you came in here the other day,
528
00:20:30,561 --> 00:20:31,771
said we didn't need it.
529
00:20:31,896 --> 00:20:33,940
I thought about it,
and you were right.
530
00:20:34,065 --> 00:20:35,642
- No. Alice.
- No.
531
00:20:35,767 --> 00:20:37,177
- What?
- We were right?
532
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,679
Let's look at history.
We're never right.
533
00:20:39,804 --> 00:20:41,848
Does this guy...
Do I look right?
534
00:20:41,973 --> 00:20:43,491
Does this look right?
535
00:20:43,657 --> 00:20:45,185
Look, please just go back
to the phones, okay?
536
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:46,869
I am not in the mood for this today.
537
00:20:47,035 --> 00:20:49,757
Apparently, some homeless people
broke into the old offices
538
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:51,123
and destroyed everything.
539
00:20:51,289 --> 00:20:53,928
Homeless people.
Can't trust 'em.
540
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,963
Know what I mean?
They're a foul, foul breed!
541
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,506
- Thanks for, uh...
- Ecch! Gross!
542
00:21:00,474 --> 00:21:04,187
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
543
00:21:04,237 --> 00:21:08,787
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
40009
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