Original subtitles

PALM SPRINGS

(laughter)

Oh my God.

Reggie, this house is beautiful.

So hang on, your friend said we could stay here for the whole week for free?

Of course.

- I'm doing him a huge favor this week. - Nice.

Judging the Mr. Bear America Pageant is a huge favor? Please.

It's Bear Week. You'd be out here anyway.

Yeah, you love Bear Week.

They even dedicated a room at the host hotel to you, remember?

In honor of that record-breaking gang bang that you did last year.

Triple digits.

God, I'd hate to see the blacklight images from that room.

♪Where the bears are We wanna be♪

SEASON 7: EPISODE 1 VACATION BEARS

Uh, excuse me. What are you doing?

Oh, I'm making a cocktail.

Yeah, it's 11 a.m. Who are you, Reggie?

Nelson, I'm on vacation and I feel like relaxing.

So if I want to have a cocktail at 11 o'clock in the morning

then I'm gonna have a fucking cocktail at 11 o'clock in the morning.

Is that all right with you?

You sure? Thanks.

What is up with him?

I don't know.

I'm really worried about him.

He's been acting really strange lately.

He's drinking more

and he's not sleeping and he's having horrible nightmares.

Oh, I can relate.

The other night I had a dream that you were hitting on me.

Ew! Gross! No!

I know.

You were all naked and you were stroking it,

and you were trying to kiss me with that weird mouth of yours.

- Oh, you wish. - Oh, you wish. You dream.

Do you two mind? I'm trying to tell you about Todd here.

I'm really concerned. I feel like, I don't know,

his work is really taking its toll on him.

Then this vacation is exactly what Todd needs to rest and recharge his batteries.

Well, I could use a vacation too

because I have been so stressed out,

shooting the MRU pilot spin-off.

You know, based on my character Otis Fairbanks.

We know, Nelson, you're starring in your own TV show.

You don't have to keep telling us every ten minutes

I don't even understand the title:

Otis Fairbanks Me.

I mean, doesn't everybody know that it's him?

Why does it have to say "Me" in the title?

It's Otis Fairbanks ME, Medical Examiner.

That's what the ME stands for.

That makes sense. I get it now.

(grunts mockingly)

Hey, do you still get to swab the assholes of the victims each week?

Well, I get to do that and a lot more.

In fact, I'm kind of all over the place.

I gotta tell you, I really hate what the writers have done with the pilot script.

They want Otis to be a martial arts expert.

So I'm having to get up at 4 a.m. every morning

to do taekwondo classes.

And they want me to lose weight

and they're forcing me to wear this copper compression girdle

to pull in my stomach.

Can you believe that?

Yes. Your character is a medical professional.

He's supposed to know all about the dangers of morbid obesity,

borderline diabetes and obscene belly fat.

I can't help it, okay? I've been stress eating.

They're writing the character all wrong.

Get this, they're giving Otis superpowers.

Yeah, he can time travel.

And they're making the character transgendered.

This murder is eerily similar to a string of murders

that happened back in 1969.

You know, when I was female.

I'm going to have to travel back to that year

and figure out how they're connected.

And cut.

Great work, Nelson.

I'm sorry, Clarke, but this time travel bullshit is not working for me.

Don't worry, the special effects

swirling around your arm and face gestures will sell this.

I'm sure.

- I'd watch. - I'd watch it.

I'm sorry, I just don't think any of it's working.

They're just trying to make your stupid, boring medical drama

that nobody wants to watch relevant.

Vacation!

Vacation! Hi guys. What's up?

Todd, what are you doing?

We've been over this, Nelson. I'm on vacation.

I'm trying to relax, I'm having a cocktail, and I'm also naked.

Yeah, I see that, but we don't do that, okay?

We're all friends here. We're not incestuous circuit bears.

Better?

Come on, Nelson, relax. Unclench just a little bit for me, would you?

Skinny dipping time.

He is acting kind of odd though, isn't he?

I don't mind.

(moaning)

Todd? Todd? Todd?

- (gasping) - It's okay. You're having a nightmare.

It's all right.

Okay.

You know, these nightmares of yours are becoming a habit.

Do you wanna tell me about it?

I don't want to talk about it.

What I wanna do is get my dick played with ASAP.

- Come here. Come here. There. - Oh. Oh. Okay.

- Yes. - (gasps)

The rental house is beautiful.

I cannot wait for you to get here to see it.

Okay, you know what, but never mind about that.

- What are you wearing? - Um...

A red button down shirt from TJ Max.

I love TJ Max, great quality.

And only $12.

Work with me, Rami. You're supposed to say something like,

"I'm sprawled out on the bed naked, waiting for you to call."

Oh. Yeah. I just took a shower?

Oh, yeah yeah yeah. (giggles)

Ooh, yeah, okay, that's it. Oh my God, you've never done that before.

Ooh, what is that, the Turkish delight?

- Oh my God. Ooh. Oh yeah. - (slapping sound)

- Yeah. - You like that, Todd?

- Yeah. - Take it. You like that?

- Yeah, you like that. - Yeah.

It's a nice ass. Yeah.

- Yeah. - (spanking continues)

- (door opens) - Come on in, Sir.

Oh, baby.

You are so sexy.

- Oh, take your shirt off. - This one?

- Yeah, take it off. - Yes Sir. Shirt's off, Sir.

- Where's the bedroom? - It's this way, Sir.

Oh, you're so friggin' sexy.

Let's get this shirt off, Sir. How about that?

What about... Ooh, the tables have turned.

- I'm in charge. - Oh no.

(both moan)

- Is this the bedroom? - No it's not, Sir. -Let's go!

It's right over here.

This is my room, this one right here.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

- Come on, let's go. - Ooh!

On your knees, boy.

Oh, yes.

Thank you, Sir.

WOOD

I'll be right back, Sir.

What the hell was that?

They could have some olive oil.

Hey, what are you doing, boy?

Just looking for lube, Sir.

Lube? Oh no, we're doing this one dry.

- (gasp) Really? - Mm-hm.

- (slaps) - Ow! Yeah, yes Sir!

♪Where the bears are We wanna be♪

♪Where the bears are Where the bears are♪