Original subtitles

Reggie, they’re saying that the gun

I used wasn’t fake and had real bullets.

I’m responsible for Toby’s death!

That’s nonsense, Nelson!

You thought you were firing a prop gun.

You had no idea what you were really doing.

Well, what if they arrest me for the murder of Toby?

Put that right out of your mind!

The cops know this was just a terrible accident.

I am 100 percent certain you will not be arrested.

Trust me.

Nelson Dorkoff, I’m placing you under arrest for the murder of Toby Marsden.

Oh! Reggie!

Don’t listen to me! What do I know?

Call Todd and tell him what happened!

Oh, God!

♪Where the bears are, We want to be♪

SEASON 6 EPISODE 6 BEAR SCANDAL

And I got this one when I encountered a hungry crocodile

when tracking a missing British tourist

in the Australian Outback.

Very nice.

You have any battle scars in the, uh, southern region?

Yeah.

Right here, front thigh, Manila knife fight.

Impressive.

I mean, impressive resume.

Thanks.

You know, I used to have my own P.I. gig,

but I’m really looking to scale back and work for somebody else.

I want to take some more time to travel.

See the world?

No, just some porn star I’m boning who lives part of the year in Milan.

Hey, didn’t you date Reggie Hatch for awhile?

Yeah, but he was too high maintenance.

I kind of broke up with him on New Year’s Eve a few years ago.

Not exactly my biggest fan.

Who cares about that?

You working with us, Mickey, sounds like a great match.

Let us talk it over, and then we’ll get back to you.

Okay.

WINTERS & MARTINEZ INVESTIGATIONS

That was a great interview, Mickey.

Thanks.

Anything else I need to know about?

Office dress code?

Clothing optional.

Cheers.

I think we’re done here.

I see no reason to interview anyone else.

Score! We just got our own private eye-candy!

Excuse me, fellas. Are y’all still interviewing?

Captain Coley, what are you doing here?

Looking for work.

Sorry, Captain, if you’d have come

just a few minutes earlier--

- But-- - Sorry.

Let me see, let me see.

Check it out. Oh, my God, look at his abs.

- Yes. - Look at that package.

Guys, guys, I’m desperate!

My boy wants to be a lawyer.

You remember my son, Marcus?

The one I caught you butt fucking in my swimming pool?

We were technically separated.

Anyhow, he’s in law school now,

and he depends on me to help him pay his tuition, but I just got fired.

I gotta find something quick, or he’ll have to drop out,

which is gonna crush his lifelong dream.

Please, fellas, I’m begging you.

Maybe we can try you out for a week on a trial run...

No! What the hell? What about this?

We have the whole package here.

It’s the right thing to do, Marcus.

Now, guys, I know when I was your boss,

I was pretty hard on you at times.

But that’s in the past.

Now, I am here,

ready to go work for you fellas asshole to elbows.

So, what’s my first case?

Well, speaking of assholes,

we got a tough one for you, Captain.

“The Mystery of the Clogged Toilet.”

Yeah, we need you to investigate…

on how to fix it.

There you go, Captain Coley.

Off you go, buddy.

Come on. Come on, you got this.

Nice.

Paybacks.

SUPERIOR COURT OF CALIFORNIA

Nelson, why couldn’t you shoot Teri Hatcher?

I love Toby Marsden.

Oh, for God’s sakes, Mom!

Where in the hell are Todd and Wood, with that lawyer?

Relax. They will be here. You just need to calm down.

Everything’s going to be fine, okay?

Look, I know you’re scared, but you are not alone.

You have friends behind you, and we love you and we will fight

to the death to protect you.

Thank you, Reggie.

I love you, too.

There, there. There, there.

What the hell are you doing, Reggie?

Oh, my God, I can’t believe you’re

filming my breakdown for your stupid TV show!

I am doing this for you, Nelson!

We need to get your story out there to drum up public support!

You’re exploiting my pain, is what you’re doing!

I’m sorry, but we have to highlight your emotional distress,

otherwise you come across as way too unlikable.

Yeah!

Nelson.

Oh, Todd, thank God.

I feel better with you here.

Don’t. You haven’t met your lawyer yet.

What do you mean?

Didn’t you go off of the list of the top LA law firms

I sent over to you?

Well, yeah, but no one wants to take your case

because it’s all over the news, and everyone thinks you’re guilty.

What are we going to do?

Nelson, I’d like to introduce my cousin, Melvin Burns.

Your cousin!

Let me guess, he got his "degree" online?

No, even better:

Trump University.

- Oh, God! - Yeah.

Oh, fuck! Fuck!

Real bad.

♪Where the bears are, We want to be♪

♪Where the bears are, Where the bears are♪