All language subtitles for Transparent s03e09 Off the Grid.eng

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(SPEAKING HEBREW)

Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com

MAN: Well, I've got a little
bit of not so great news

from your cardiologist.

- Oh. We're trading phone calls.
- Did you speak to Dr. Levin?

- You're trading phone calls.
- Yeah, I know what it's about, though.

It's my target weight.

I'm... I don't know.
I'm a fat, fat fatty.

I love, uh... I love pizza.

- And...
- I think you need to connect with her.

Uh, is there something the matter?

There's a couple of red
flags on the echo test.

- We just have...
- Is there something wrong with my heart?

Well, we have a couple of
things going on in your heart

that we want to keep an eye on,

and I think Dr. Levin will recommend
going off of the hormones,

and keeping an eye on this
for six months or so.

Well, hold on. Is this a postponement?

'Cause when I get out of surgery,

I'm with this thing called Meal Train,

and I already put out my emails,

so how long are we talking?

Well, look, I, um...
I'm sorry to say this,

but I don't think this is a
matter of postponing something.

I think...

I think surgery's out of the question.

Maura, I know this is disappointing.

What about a waiver?

Please do this. I will sign a waiver.

All right? And that... There'll
be no malpractice. Okay?

- Listen, listen to me, will you, please?
- Please?

- Just listen to me.
- Please?

Just because you can't have this surgery

doesn't mean that you
can't have a happy life.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

C, to the O, to the L-T-O-N.

(CHUCKLES) Hey, Josh.

- You ain't gonna believe this, dog.
- What's that?

I am thinkin' about making an offer...

on this bad boy. Check it out.

You feel me?

Make an offer, like...

- Like, buy a house?
- Buy it, rent it, flip it.

- Live in it.
- You want to move here to Overland Park?

Listen, I've been thinking about this.

I don't want to do Red Pants anymore.

I could liquidate my stock,
spend a year writing songs.

We could hang out. You and your friends,

you could come over to the
house, and literally just chill.

- Yeah.
- This Sunday, there's another open house.

You want to come?

Thanks, I... I would
love to, but I can't,

'cause of the church.

Copy. I read ya. Okay, no worries.

Aren't you coming with us?

Uh, I w... I mean, well...

Um, yeah, I will be there.

Just gotta squeeze that
house thing in, too.

And then my goddess, slash
game show host, slash dentist,

touched my face, and everything
was just weirdly okay.

That's wacky all right.

- That looks good.
- What do you think?

I don't know, are the
pinstripes too much?

No, I think it looks great.

I don't know, I... Kinda reads like a...

a sleazy banker to me.

I don't want people to think

that this award's going to my head.

I don't know, I kind of like

a sleazy banker look on you.

Oh, fuck you.

You know what? I'm gonna try
that tweed number again.

You bring me that?

So anyway, I am trying
to figure out how to

roll this all together into a thesis.

What, your nitrous trip?

No, b... but the trip gave me an idea...

- Thank you.
- WOMAN: Welcome.

Um, about how to structure it.

You know? Like... Like
in Hebrew Gematria.

Taking multiples of the
number 18, like 36,

and using them as markers,

and... and creating this sort of...

wheel imagery.

(CHUCKLES) You cannot
write a thesis about

dentists and the number 36, Ali.

No, it wouldn't be about the number 36.

It's basically like intersectionality

as the holy other.

Right?

So, female, black, trans,

just any... any kind of
other that the patriarchy

would try to objectify or silence.

And what if that otherness
were the Messiah?

You sound nuts.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah, this is the one.

I just need to find a... a
classy bolo or something.

Did you figure out what
you're gonna wear yet?

No. no.

Well, you better look cute.

This is our official coming out.

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

(GASPS) My God, it's Josh.

Finally. Where are you?

What?

What?!

Overland Park. Really?

Hey, babe. Did you talk to the
kids about coming on the cruise?

I left messages for everybody.

I told them it's an all expense paid

floating paradise of adventure.

We needed to know dates ASAP.

Good.

Ali texted and said she's a maybe.

Well, keep nooging the others.

I'm trying, okay?

Yeah. Why don't your kids
ever return your phone calls?

That's not true, they do.

Well, we gotta get some
confirmed "Yes"s and "No"s

so I can start cross checking
with the black out dates.

Ooh, look at you,
you're such a producer.

You're producing the cruise,
you're producing my show,

producing my orgasms.

It's what I do.

Did you ever hear back
from Maura and Vic?

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

They broke up.

No. They seemed like
such a perfect match.

Yeah, well, I don't know what happened.

I'm gonna run to the store.
We're out of Diet Coke.

- Do you need anything?
- No. I'm good.

Babe, could you spot me a ten?

Um... sure.

So you're going to Overland Park today?

Yeah, or tomorrow.

I don't know when I can get
the flight I can afford.

Can you do standby for
cheap? Is that a thing?

Hon, he is a big boy,

and if he wants to splash
around in some holy water,

that's his prerogative.

He's not splashing around in holy water,

he just disavowed the devil.

Well, there's nothing wrong with that.

Oh, my God.

Except that Jesus is his
personal something.

- Personal pan pizza?
- He's buying a fucking mansion

in Overland Park. Clearly he needs me.

- He's losing it.
- You know what I think this is?

I think this is you trying
to break up with me,

because you're afraid
I might be on to you.

It's not about you.

Anyway, I love hearing about
how fucked up I am from you.

It makes me feel deeply,
profoundly attracted to you.

Oh, come on. To criticize
you is to love you.

To reflect you is to love you.

Just sit in the discomfort.

(BANGING)

(GROANS)

Hey, it's Pony, leave a message.

(BEEP)

Pony, it's... it's Sarah.

I'm out... I'm outside your place.

We have an appointment.

I... I don't understand.
Where... Oh. Whoa.

Who are you?

Who are you?

I'm, uh, Sarah, Sarah Pfefferman.

I have an appointment with Pony.

Okay. Yeah, Pony told me about you.

- She did?
- Yeah, I think you're the reason why

- she moved to Boulder.
- She moved to Boulder?

Yeah. Her brother runs this candle shop,

so she wanted to be in
the family business.

The family business? Of candle shops?

She didn't really elaborate.

Well, what am I supposed to do now?

Um, she left all her gear
behind, and I can totally...

You know, I don't have therapy
for, like, an hour, so...

- What, you?
- Yeah, sure.

Just tell me what kind of slut you are,

and I'll just flog the shit out of you.

I also just learned how to
use the suspension cuffs.

No. No, no, no. It has to be a woman.

Oh. (SCOFFS) Well, good luck with that.

Pony is the only lady pro dom I
know that works with chicks.

- Okay, that cannot be true.
- There's no money in it.

I mean, it's really not
that hard for a woman

to find someone to treat
her like shit for free.

Fuck!

Jesus.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Zachy! Ella!

Get out here!

- Get them out here now!
- What are you yelling about?

Just get them out here! Zachy and Ella!

Whose is this? Do you
see this skateboard?

- Who left this here?
- It's not mine.

Okay, do you see what happened here?

Can you see? You made
an exit ramp for Nacho.

Nacho is not here.

- Calm down!
- No!

What would happen if I was driving

and I just left the door
open while I drove?

You would fall out, and
you would be dead!

Hey! Calm down!

Now Nacho is nowhere to be found.

- We'll find him.
- He's probably at the neighbor's,

or killed by a coyote.

Stop it! Just stop it!

I'm sorry! But that fucking turtle

survived in a fucking wall

for 30 fucking years!

It took you three weeks to kill him!

- Guys, he's not dead.
- Three fucking weeks!

Go inside.

- What are you doing?
- (PANTING)

Don't do that in front of them, okay?

Not ever! That's not cool!

I don't want rage in this house!

(DOOR SLAMS)

- Have a good one.
- Thank you.

- Hey, what's up?
- So this is Kansas, huh?

- Yeah. Nice top.
- I'm sweating in weird places.

Told you not to come,
Stalker McStalkerson.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Let's go.

Let me look at you. What's that?

- What?
- Oh, a little Christ blood?

- Mmm.
- Shut the fuck up.

By the way, they take that
shit seriously, so...

- Hey, Ali!
- Hi!

- How are you? How's it going?
- So nice to see you.

Thank you. You too. Yeah.

Perfect timing. Pappy's throwing
some meat on the grill.

- Yes! Meat!
- Come on back.

- And this is...
- Arts and crafts, yeah.

We use the Popsicle
sticks to make the cross.

- It's really pretty.
- That's so cool.

- Hey, guys, what's going on?
- Shuckin'.

Shuckin' and jivin'?

Alexandra, I'm so glad
you're here with us today.

Oh, it's so nice. There's so much sky

- and space everywhere.
- Yeah.

L.A. is a nightmare. I mean, you can't
even breathe through all the smog.

It's so nasty.

Colton and I have going to
this really cool park nearby.

Doing some plyometrics.
Trying to bulk him up.

- He's still a little too skinny.
- (LAUGHING)

Just tall.

- Becky, sweetie, would you get the deviled eggs?
- Yeah.

People just, like, stop and
just, like, wave you on by.

- I mean, for real.
- Well, we're very polite people around here, I guess.

Sure seems that way.

You know, Alexandra, your brother here
has come to mean a great deal to us.

He's got a much stronger moral
fiber than I gave him credit for.

Well, I... I heard about
the thing that he...

he did at church.

- That's...
- Beautiful.

No, that was all Colton.
He gave a great speech.

- It was really moving.
- It's a sermon.

- Sermon.
- Yeah, sermon.

You got that lump in
your throat, didn't you?

You know what that was, Josh?

- Uh...
- Josh, that was the Holy Spirit.

- Oh, yeah.
- I mean, oh, my, I felt his presence myself.

Oh, gosh, so did I.

So did the whole darn congregation.
Isn't that right, Colton?

Yeah. Yeah.

Wow.

And then that fuckface says
he wants me off hormones.

I am not going through this
thing without estrogen.

I'm serious, really.

I'm just so sick of that

- whole bathroom mishigas...
- Mm-hmm.

And that stuff at the grocery store.

- Can I take your bags, ma'am? Sir? Sir?
- Listen to me.

You're a baby trans.
You'll get used to it.

- Aww, I'm a baby trans.
- Really. Isn't that sweet?

I just made that up. Do you like it?

- Aww.
- Mm-hmm.

Damn, girl.

All right, well, now that
Vicky and I are through,

this baby trans needs to get fucked up

- and smoke 10,000 cigarettes.
- I like it.

- And I wanna go dancing at the Oxwood.
- All right.

- Okay.
- I wanna go dancing,

- and I wanna have some fun.
- Okay.

I'm gonna change, and I'm
gonna wear something cunt!

Cunt!

You'd have done the same thing.

No, I... I would not convert
to another religion

because a bunch of people were
staring at me on a stage.

- It's not a bit.
- I didn't say I converted.

You're going around
pretending to be a Christian.

FYI...

half this country is pretending
to be Christian right now.

What does it matter what I believe?

I'm happy. Okay?

I mean, also, I cannot
let Colton down again.

I need to be here for him.

(LAUGHING)

Shell, you gotta look at
this. These dogs are crazy.

I don't mean to be a nag, Buzzy,

but if you have time
to watch television,

you have time to go to the ATM
to get that ten you owe me.

Honey-pie, you can't get
a ten out of an ATM.

It's not the ten, Buzzy.

It's the twenty from last week

and the fifteen from the other day

and the seven from whenever.

(STAMMERING)

First you tell me you're broke,

because you're in a
lawsuit about a patent.

That's true.

- And then you say it's back taxes.
- Also true.

Well, I just don't know what to believe.

Okay, okay.

So, there is something
that I haven't told you,

because it's kind of a sad story.

You know how I said I'd
never been married before?

That I'd never met the one?
Well, that wasn't true.

I was married to a...

to a sweet lady named Donna.

And just before our 20th anniversary,

she got the diagnosis.

Cancer.

Well...

Why wouldn't you tell me
about a thing like that?

I didn't want you to feel sorry for me.

She was so brave with the
chemo and the hair loss,

and she was so concerned
about how she looked,

but she was always beautiful to me.

And I just wanted the best for her,

so we had the nurse at home
and experimental medicine,

and I had trouble keeping
up with the bills.

And then...

four days after our 22nd anniversary,

she died.

Just before that, she said to me

that she wanted me to find someone else.

I told her there was no way.

I couldn't imagine that
it was possible...

until I met you.

You didn't have a wife.

You're right. I didn't.

But, Shel...

(CHUCKLE)

Shel. Shel, I...

I know it wasn't a whole truth

in terms of actual fact,

but I was just trying
to explain to you that,

if I had been married,

I would have spent every
last dollar I had

for my dying wife

because that's... that's what money is.

We're done, Buzzy.

I could accept you being broke.

I could accept you being in
debt to the U.S. government,

but what I will not accept

is being lied to.

Never again.

There was, actually, a Donna...

You need to move out today.

Wow. Really? What about the cruise?

I'm fine. I'll have my family.

Okay.

Sorry about today.

It was a little bit scary.

I know. I scared myself.

Do you want a backrub or something?

- Really?
- Is that a dumb question?

Oh, my God, I want that more than
anything in the whole world.

Thank you.

I so don't deserve it. Ohh.

You so don't deserve it.

My God, you're so good at that.

I fucked everything up. I
can't do anything right.

Come on. You got a hundred
non-observant Jews

to sing "Ya day day die die die."

No, I didn't. Raquel did.

And now Raquel's MIA. And Pony's gone.

Oh, shit.

- Yeah, I scared her away...
- Really?

To do some candle business or something.

Anyway, I don't have
anyone to do my "thang."

I'm sure you can find somebody else.

No, I guess there aren't
that many people who do it.

Well, I mean, how hard can it be?

What does she do, just,
like, boss you around

and slap you a little?

Sort of, yeah.

With some hair pulling, you know.

Like this?

Aah. Oh, my God, ow.

That actually hurt. (CHUCKLING)

That was pretty good.

Aah.

Is that how Pony does it?

Uh-huh. (GASP)

She slapped your fucking ass for you?

Oh, my God.

Yeah, and she pulls your fucking hair?

Aah.

Is that how she pulls it?

Uh-huh.

Yeah?

Come here.

I'm serious. Get over here.

Come on.

I don't have time for this shit.

Is this the kind of shit that Pony does?

Give me your hands.

For real.

Give me your little fucking slut hands.

Is that what Pony does?

Good and tight like that?

Get your arms over your head.

What she does to you?

- Harder?
- Uh-huh.

Uhh.

Yeah?

Is that what you want?

- Huh?
- Oh, my God.

Yeah, I know you.

I know what you want.

I know you better than
anybody in the whole world.

Can... I need to get... Can I get down?

I c... I can't.

All right.

I'm sorry. I mean, just, like...

It's all right. I was...

because of the arrangement...

- I get it.
- Everything. It...

It's okay. I was just joking.

I was joking around.

No, I liked it. It was good. I just...

I don't want to fuck
everything up or anything.

It's fine.

I'm going to go get another drink.

I'll be right back.

You've got some moves on you.

- Yeah, huh?
- Right.

Thank you.

I'm Donald.

I'm Maura.

Hi, Maura.

(DOOR OPENS)

Josh.

- Hey.
- Hey.

What's up?

Um...

Can I, uh, can I talk
to you for a minute?

Yeah.

Uh, you want to sit?

Yeah. Of course.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I was trying to
find the right moment

to talk to you. I just...

I didn't want to embarrass you
in front of Mama and Pappy.

I just... just feel like this is a lot.

Like I'm... Uh, am I a lot?

Because I can totally back off.

It's, like, not a problem, you know.

You never really asked me
if you could live here.

I'm just trying to, you know...

I'm your dad, right?

Actually, you're not.

No offense,

but I already have a dad.

(DOOR OPENS)

Right. I just... Oh. Hey.

It's okay. Go ahead.

Look, I... I don't think
you're going to be happy here.

And if I'm being completely
honest with you, I...

I don't think I'm going to be
happy with you here, either.

Oh.

I don't want to hurt
your feelings. I just...

I'm really sorry.

Don't be sorry.

I r... I get it.

Uh, I got to go help with
the dishes and everything.

- Good man.
- Yeah.

(WEEPING)

(KNOCKING)

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

I'm okay.

Oh, Maura, you are so beautiful.

I want to taste that big clit.

Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com

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