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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,233 --> 00:00:06,304 ? What would you do if I sang out of tune? ? 2 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:11,276 ? Would you stand up and walk out on me? ? 3 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:17,515 ? Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song ? 4 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:21,018 ? I will try not to sing out of key, yeah ? 5 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:25,223 ? Oh, baby, I get by ? ? By with a little help from my friends ? 6 00:00:25,225 --> 00:00:26,691 ? All I need is my buddies ? 7 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,928 ? High with a little help from my friends ? 8 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:35,066 ? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? ?Try with a little help from my friends ? 9 00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,601 ? Whoa-oa-oa-oa ? 10 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:38,303 ? Oh, oh, oh, oh ? 11 00:00:38,305 --> 00:00:42,707 ? Somebody who knows quite sure ? 12 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:43,908 ? Baby ? 13 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:46,445 ? By with a little help from my friends ? 14 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,746 ? Said I'm gonna make it with my friends ? 15 00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:51,549 ? Try with a little help from my friends ? 16 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,751 ? Oh, I'm gonna keep on trying ? 17 00:00:53,753 --> 00:00:56,454 ? High with a little help from my friends ? 18 00:00:56,456 --> 00:00:58,957 ? I'm gonna keep on trying now, baby ? 19 00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,859 ? Ooh, ooh, ooh ? 20 00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:08,566 Every culture has its own rites of passage, 21 00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:12,136 ways of marking that leap from childhood... 22 00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:13,839 To manhood. 23 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:18,376 Complex rituals, weird dances, 24 00:01:18,378 --> 00:01:21,446 acts of courage and survival. 25 00:01:21,448 --> 00:01:27,085 It's a tradition as old as civilization or... 26 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:30,722 As recent as crabgrass. 27 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,690 Fact... in the suburbs, 28 00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:35,459 a boy's first steps towards manhood 29 00:01:35,461 --> 00:01:37,328 start behind a lawnmower. 30 00:01:37,330 --> 00:01:39,397 Hey, Kevin! 31 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:42,299 Watch where you're going. You missed a patch. 32 00:01:42,301 --> 00:01:45,136 Sorry, Dad. 33 00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:49,206 Still, for me, at 16, lawn care had given way 34 00:01:49,208 --> 00:01:51,075 to something much, much more important. 35 00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:53,178 [ Horn honks ] 36 00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,349 The driver's license. 37 00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:58,550 [ Horn honks ] 38 00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,585 The thing that separates the boys... 39 00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,587 Lucky stiff. 40 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:05,023 From the men. 41 00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:07,926 And so on and so forth. 42 00:02:07,928 --> 00:02:11,595 Kev! 43 00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:13,431 What the hell are you doing there? 44 00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,665 I was just... 45 00:02:14,667 --> 00:02:16,968 you're burning a hole in the yard. 46 00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:19,937 Right, Dad. 47 00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:22,707 And don't forget to put the mower away when you're finished. 48 00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,842 Okay, I will! 49 00:02:24,844 --> 00:02:27,111 [ Engine idling ] 50 00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:29,547 But the truth was, by the spring of 10th grade, 51 00:02:29,549 --> 00:02:32,216 it was time to put the mower in mothballs. 52 00:02:32,218 --> 00:02:33,952 Forget the crabgrass. 53 00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,387 Make the jump from two cylinders... 54 00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:37,656 [ Brakes squeal ] 55 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,224 To real horsepower. 56 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,562 [ Brakes squeal, thump ] 57 00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,697 [ Sighs ] 58 00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:49,934 Okay, now, Miss Pedermeir, let's try it again. 59 00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:51,069 Okay. 60 00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:54,805 Only this time, easy on the brake, okay? 61 00:02:54,807 --> 00:02:57,108 Which one's the brake? 62 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,576 Driver's ed... 63 00:02:58,578 --> 00:03:02,681 the final demarcation line between those who could... 64 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,550 And those who probably shouldn't. 65 00:03:05,552 --> 00:03:07,018 Easy gas. 66 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,954 [ Brakes squeal ] Easy brake. 67 00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,421 Easy gas. 68 00:03:10,423 --> 00:03:12,356 [ Brakes squeal, thump ] 69 00:03:12,358 --> 00:03:15,026 By the second week of on-the-road training, 70 00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,761 one thing was becoming clear. 71 00:03:16,763 --> 00:03:18,496 Look... old gum. 72 00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,565 Yeah? [ Chuckles ] What flavor? 73 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:23,334 When it came to operating a motor vehicle, 74 00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:25,937 these other kids were gonna need a lot of help. 75 00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,606 That's fine for today, miss Pedermeir. 76 00:03:28,608 --> 00:03:31,576 I thought you said we were gonna do freeways. 77 00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:33,544 I want to do freeways! 78 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,180 Fortunately, in this car full of jokers, 79 00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:39,150 the coach had one ace up his sleeve. 80 00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:42,453 Arnold... You ready? 81 00:03:42,455 --> 00:03:44,122 Sure am. 82 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,957 A man... 83 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:48,293 Who was born to drive. 84 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:56,568 Nice Lane change. 85 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,436 Well, I did my best. 86 00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:00,137 And, put simply, 87 00:04:00,139 --> 00:04:03,575 my best was a lot better than anyone else's. 88 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,445 I'd like everyone to note how Arnold here 89 00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:09,547 looked over his left shoulder before merging. 90 00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,982 That's, uh, this one, Slovoski. 91 00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:13,918 [ Chuckles ] 92 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,487 And look at that hand position... 93 00:04:15,489 --> 00:04:17,354 a perfect 10:00 and 2:00. 94 00:04:17,356 --> 00:04:20,324 The motor-vehicle people are gonna be looking for that. 95 00:04:20,326 --> 00:04:22,627 Thanks, coach. 96 00:04:22,629 --> 00:04:26,164 Yeah, I didn't want to brag, but let's face it, 97 00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:30,234 I had it all... the reflexes, the instincts, the timing... 98 00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:32,369 the whole repertoire. 99 00:04:32,371 --> 00:04:35,372 Well, almost the whole repertoire. 100 00:04:35,374 --> 00:04:37,675 Okay, we got a couple of minutes here, 101 00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:40,678 so why don't we jump ahead to our next section? 102 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,012 Parallel parking. 103 00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:44,848 It will be on your road test. 104 00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:48,619 I repeat, it will be on the test. 105 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:52,190 [Chuckles]You almost had to feel sorry for the poor saps. 106 00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:55,426 Arnold, why don't we show 'em how it's done? 107 00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:57,195 She's all yours. 108 00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,397 Sure. 109 00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:02,267 'Course, it was only right I should be the first. 110 00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,669 Left hand at noon. 111 00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:06,704 Right arm over the bench. 112 00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:09,307 After all, I was the natural. 113 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,941 Now, ease her on in. 114 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:16,214 Yep, here it was... the final frontier. 115 00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,383 You got it. 116 00:05:18,385 --> 00:05:23,120 The last thing standing between me and the open road. 117 00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:25,256 Get this, and I was home free. 118 00:05:35,801 --> 00:05:37,702 And that's when it happened. 119 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:39,036 What happened? 120 00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:42,674 You knocked over a cone! He knocked over a cone! 121 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,975 I did? 122 00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,276 You creamed it! 123 00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,410 [ Laughter ] 124 00:05:46,412 --> 00:05:48,112 Wow! 125 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:50,615 'Course, it could have happened to anybody. 126 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,851 Still, for some reason, it rattled me. 127 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,419 Let me do that again. 128 00:05:55,421 --> 00:05:56,721 [ School bell rings ] 129 00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,589 Sorry. We're out of time. 130 00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:00,725 We'll try it again next time. 131 00:06:00,727 --> 00:06:02,060 See you all on Thursday! 132 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:04,495 Oh. 133 00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:06,598 And that was that. 134 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,234 A small miscalculation... nothing more. 135 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:12,537 Not even worth a second thought. 136 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:15,406 So? You ran over a cone. What's the big deal? 137 00:06:15,408 --> 00:06:18,710 Okay, two thoughts, but that's all. 138 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,010 Yeah, it's not like you ran over 139 00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:21,912 someone's pet schnauzer or anything. [ Chuckles ] 140 00:06:21,914 --> 00:06:24,114 That's disgusting. 141 00:06:24,116 --> 00:06:25,916 Yeah, you're probably right. 142 00:06:25,918 --> 00:06:28,353 Listen, I don't know what you're so worried about, Kevin. 143 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:31,155 You're a really good driver. I've seen you. 144 00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:33,090 Thanks. 145 00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,825 'Course, he's never seen you park. 146 00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:36,093 [ Laughs ] 147 00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,429 What's that supposed to mean? 148 00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:39,964 Nothing. It's a joke. 149 00:06:39,966 --> 00:06:41,833 Boy, Kev, are you jumpy! 150 00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,734 Come on, I mean, anybody could flub up 151 00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,137 the first couple times they parallel-park. 152 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:48,072 - Right? - Absolutely. 153 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:51,642 Trouble was, this wasn't just anybody we were talking about. 154 00:06:51,644 --> 00:06:53,277 This was... Me. 155 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:55,646 Hey, I never said "a couple of times." 156 00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:58,116 It was once, okay? So let's drop it! 157 00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,117 Fine. 158 00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:02,353 Besides, no one's ever failed their driver's test 159 00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,755 just 'cause they couldn't parallel-park, right? 160 00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,390 Right. 161 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,561 Right. 162 00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:12,497 And there you had it. 163 00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:14,332 Solid logic... 164 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,467 In theory, anyway. 165 00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,769 Okay, we'll try it again. 166 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,871 Left hand at noon. 167 00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:23,474 Right arm over the bench. 168 00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:24,742 You ready, Arnold? 169 00:07:24,744 --> 00:07:25,743 Ha! 170 00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:26,744 Got it. 171 00:07:26,746 --> 00:07:28,679 'Course I was ready. 172 00:07:28,681 --> 00:07:30,514 Slovoski, move your head! 173 00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:35,219 I was just a little... Tense, that's all. 174 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:39,857 After all, I had a reputation at stake here. 175 00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:47,198 Still, with the proper amount of concentration... 176 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,367 You got it. 177 00:07:49,369 --> 00:07:53,070 Plus the old God-given natural instincts... 178 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:55,939 You got it. 179 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,312 Yeah. What a comeback. 180 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:05,083 From here on in, it was gonna be smooth sailin'. 181 00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:08,853 [ Bell clanging, ship horn blows ] 182 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:12,589 If you didn't mind swimming to the curb. 183 00:08:12,591 --> 00:08:14,825 He missed! [ Laughs ] 184 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,529 Good, Arnold! 185 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:20,031 Maybe next time, we can try parking the rest of the car. 186 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:21,733 [ Laughter ] 187 00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,770 Hmm. 188 00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,539 That weekend, for some reason, 189 00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:33,711 the old lawnmower felt kind of... Good, familiar. 190 00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:37,581 Not like driving. 191 00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:39,216 Kevin? 192 00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:41,653 I know, I know. I'm putting it away. 193 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,988 Nah, we got to go pick up new shower doors. 194 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:46,257 Oh. 195 00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:48,959 Here... you drive. 196 00:08:50,763 --> 00:08:52,029 Oh. 197 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:54,565 You got your driver's test coming up. 198 00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,834 You want to practice, don't you? 199 00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:58,902 Sure, but, uh... 200 00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:01,772 'Course, any other day, I'd have jumped at the chance 201 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:04,308 to hit the road in Dad's gas-guzzler, but... 202 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:07,778 I don't know, Dad. Maybe I'll just stay here. 203 00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:09,079 Why? Something wrong? 204 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,782 No! No, it's just... 205 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,618 I should've told him. 206 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:16,487 I should've told him... But I didn't. 207 00:09:16,489 --> 00:09:17,855 Never mind. 208 00:09:17,857 --> 00:09:20,057 Then come on. Let's go. 209 00:09:25,832 --> 00:09:27,231 I don't know. 210 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:30,367 Maybe I just needed some time to think it over. 211 00:09:30,369 --> 00:09:32,302 Not bad. 212 00:09:32,304 --> 00:09:34,572 You're okay. 213 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,541 Thanks. 214 00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:39,276 Or maybe I needed a little confidence-building 215 00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,078 from the big man. 216 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,282 In any event, by the time we reached town, 217 00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:47,919 I was back on my game again, ready for anything. 218 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:51,022 Why don't you pull her in over there? 219 00:09:53,359 --> 00:09:55,059 Yikes. 220 00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:57,795 Go ahead. Slip her in. 221 00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:01,732 Uh... Sure. 222 00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:03,867 I'm on it, Dad. 223 00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:12,443 'Course, this was no time to panic. I knew that. 224 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,644 This was simple... 225 00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:16,180 just a matter of wedging 2 tons of steel 226 00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:18,449 in a 12x4 parking space. 227 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,484 Nothing to it. 228 00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:25,689 Nope. 229 00:10:25,691 --> 00:10:27,992 All I had to do was think it through calmly... 230 00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:30,294 Rationally. 231 00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:36,734 And that's when I made my fatal mistake. 232 00:10:39,571 --> 00:10:42,273 I thought about it a second too long. 233 00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:43,441 Kev? 234 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,176 Huh? 235 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,544 What are you waiting for? 236 00:10:47,546 --> 00:10:49,413 Uh... 237 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:50,615 [ Horn honks ] 238 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:52,850 Nothing. 239 00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:58,556 But as I sat there, completely paralyzed, 240 00:10:58,558 --> 00:11:00,090 I knew one thing. 241 00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:06,330 Only a miracle was gonna get me out of this now. 242 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:07,865 [ Horn honks ] 243 00:11:10,570 --> 00:11:14,639 Or... A 1970 Volkswagen super beetle. 244 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,540 What does that guy think he's doing? 245 00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:18,175 Didn't he see the blinker? 246 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,478 Idiot shouldn't be allowed on the road. 247 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,546 Tell me about it. 248 00:11:22,548 --> 00:11:23,747 [ Sighs ] 249 00:11:23,749 --> 00:11:26,517 Well, then, just... Go around. 250 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:27,351 Sure, Dad. 251 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:28,652 [ Horn honks ] 252 00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:31,155 But even though I'd escaped this time, 253 00:11:31,157 --> 00:11:32,957 the truth seemed clearer than ever. 254 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:35,326 Instead of living life in the fast Lane, 255 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:38,796 I was doomed to spend the rest of mine... 256 00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:41,699 circling the block. 257 00:11:49,776 --> 00:11:51,342 Coming of age in suburbia... 258 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:55,780 the ritual, the ceremony, the grandeur. 259 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,184 [ Horn honks ] 260 00:12:00,186 --> 00:12:03,187 For anybody who could parallel-park, anyway. 261 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:12,062 With my driver's test only a few days away... 262 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:14,298 Hey, Kevin. 263 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,268 Don't forget to put that away. 264 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,270 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 265 00:12:20,272 --> 00:12:21,605 It was beginning to seem 266 00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:23,641 like the only wheels I'd ever be in charge of 267 00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:27,077 would come with a leaf bag and a mulch attachment. 268 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:31,315 Okay, now, ease her on in. 269 00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:34,986 And... Perfect. 270 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:39,056 The thing was, the harder I tried, the worse things got. 271 00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:41,759 Good, Grutner. 272 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,093 Guess you could say 273 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:46,730 it was starting to affect my self-image. 274 00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:50,067 That's almost everyone. 275 00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,603 Your turn, Bo Peep. 276 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,872 [ Laughs ] 277 00:12:54,874 --> 00:12:57,140 [ "Mary had a little lamb" plays ] 278 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:06,384 It was clear if I was gonna pull out of this, 279 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,719 I needed to re-establish my territory, 280 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:10,954 assert my masculinity. 281 00:13:10,956 --> 00:13:13,023 The question was, how? 282 00:13:13,025 --> 00:13:14,892 Hi, Kevin. 283 00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:18,396 Hello! 284 00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:20,565 Jessica. Hi. 285 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:21,999 Jessica Thomas... 286 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:24,935 just the kind of woman who could turn a man around. 287 00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:26,337 I, uh, was wondering 288 00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:29,039 if I could borrow your bio notes from yesterday? 289 00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:32,043 And I had something she wanted. 290 00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:33,844 Sure. 291 00:13:36,715 --> 00:13:39,749 So, you, uh... Busy Friday night? 292 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,453 Maybe. 293 00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,522 Maybe not. 294 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,691 Well, there's a dance. Want to go? 295 00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,028 I'm not big on dances. 296 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,898 Or... We could ditch it. 297 00:13:53,900 --> 00:13:56,334 I might have plans. 298 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,736 Cancel 'em. 299 00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:04,708 Okay, it was a risk, but... 300 00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:06,877 All right. I will. 301 00:14:06,879 --> 00:14:09,079 Bingo! 302 00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:11,281 So, Friday, then? 303 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,850 Friday. 304 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:16,053 Yes. I saw the Mountain, and I took it. 305 00:14:16,055 --> 00:14:19,256 So pick me up at 8:00? You can park the car out front. 306 00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:20,557 Park? 307 00:14:20,559 --> 00:14:22,259 Car? 308 00:14:22,261 --> 00:14:24,928 And honk? 309 00:14:24,930 --> 00:14:28,498 Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no! 310 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:31,068 [ Sheep bleating ] 311 00:14:31,070 --> 00:14:33,871 [ "Mary had a little lamb" plays ] 312 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,415 [ Sighs ] 313 00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,617 I've come to take my road test. 314 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,685 Now. 315 00:14:48,687 --> 00:14:50,421 I'd had it. 316 00:14:50,423 --> 00:14:54,658 I wasn't gonna spend the rest of my life as a shepherdess. 317 00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:58,428 Take a seat. Wait your turn. 318 00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,666 Okay. Be rude about it. I didn't care. 319 00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:06,671 It was time to take the bull by the horns... 320 00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:08,873 No matter who was watching. 321 00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:11,275 Vogel! 322 00:15:11,277 --> 00:15:13,177 And the thing is, 323 00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:16,913 now that I was there, I actually felt kind of calm. 324 00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:18,382 Donlevy! 325 00:15:20,186 --> 00:15:22,186 No question about it. 326 00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:26,623 From here on in, it was just a matter of time. 327 00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:31,929 [ Clock ticking ] 328 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,497 Eckhart! 329 00:15:33,499 --> 00:15:35,466 [ Ticking continues ] 330 00:15:38,871 --> 00:15:40,638 Reardon! 331 00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:43,474 Uh-huh. 332 00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,576 Nothing to do but wait. 333 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:47,311 [ Ticking continues ] 334 00:15:47,313 --> 00:15:48,879 Chang! 335 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,347 [Clears throat] 336 00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:52,182 Any minute now. 337 00:15:52,184 --> 00:15:53,884 [ Ticking intensifies ] 338 00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,586 Burns! 339 00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:59,323 And then the wheels came off. 340 00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,192 Arnold? 341 00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:03,494 [ Ticking stops, bell tolling ] 342 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:04,995 [ Breathes deeply ] 343 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:08,165 Now, I swear to you... I swear I was ready. 344 00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:10,834 To the deepest fiber in my being, 345 00:16:10,836 --> 00:16:14,371 I was focused, confident, I was... 346 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,410 good luck. 347 00:16:19,412 --> 00:16:20,877 I was out of there. 348 00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:21,878 - Excuse me! - Hey! 349 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,747 - Ow! Watch it! - Careful! 350 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,383 Oh. Finished, honey? 351 00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:28,085 Yeah. Come on. 352 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:32,355 How'd it go? 353 00:16:32,357 --> 00:16:34,357 Piece of cake. 354 00:16:36,929 --> 00:16:38,662 You heard it. 355 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,197 [ Door closes, echoes ] 356 00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:42,033 Piece of cake. 357 00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,533 Congratulations, Kev. 358 00:16:43,535 --> 00:16:44,869 You did it, honey. 359 00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:48,305 Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad. 360 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:51,308 This is really... Great. 361 00:16:51,310 --> 00:16:53,243 But it was horrible. 362 00:16:53,245 --> 00:16:58,883 I was a failure and a liar... In front of my whole family. 363 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:02,319 Well, let's see it, butthead. 364 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,021 See what? 365 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,490 The driver's license. Where is it? 366 00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:08,592 Uh... 367 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,994 You didn't lose it already, did you? 368 00:17:10,996 --> 00:17:12,930 No! No! 369 00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,498 I just left it 370 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,267 in my other pants... in my other wallet. 371 00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:20,571 Besides, it's just a temporary. 372 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,405 I can't believe it. 373 00:17:22,407 --> 00:17:24,341 I can still remember your father 374 00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:25,576 teaching you to ride a bike. 375 00:17:25,578 --> 00:17:27,143 Now you're driving. 376 00:17:27,145 --> 00:17:31,181 I guess I didn't expect you kids to grow up so fast. 377 00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:32,683 I couldn't believe it. 378 00:17:32,685 --> 00:17:34,852 My parents were getting spongy on me, 379 00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:38,188 washing away in sentimentality. 380 00:17:38,190 --> 00:17:40,391 So there was only one thing to say. 381 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,293 I got to go to the bathroom. 382 00:17:42,295 --> 00:17:45,629 Not... So... Fast. 383 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:49,867 Yeah, Dad? 384 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,935 Here. 385 00:17:51,937 --> 00:17:54,037 Your mother and I got you something. 386 00:17:55,907 --> 00:17:58,975 You're gonna need these. 387 00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:02,212 It's your own set of keys to the car. 388 00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,849 Ah, geez. 389 00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,186 Thanks. 390 00:18:09,188 --> 00:18:11,821 I'm proud of you, son. 391 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:15,625 Yeah. 392 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:21,331 I couldn't get to sleep that night. 393 00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:23,500 I kept thinking about my future... 394 00:18:23,502 --> 00:18:27,704 how I was gonna grow up, go to college, raise a family, 395 00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:30,441 and be the only all-pro quarterback 396 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:33,810 who ever had to ride his bicycle to the super bowl. 397 00:18:33,812 --> 00:18:34,878 I'm proud of you, son. 398 00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,113 I can't believe it. 399 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,581 It's your own set of keys to the car. 400 00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:38,748 You did it, honey. 401 00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,284 The driver's license. Where is it? 402 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:41,618 Your turn, Bo Peep. 403 00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,454 Proud of you, son... Proud of you, son... 404 00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:47,124 [ Sheep bleating ] 405 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,859 [ Breathes deeply ] 406 00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:51,428 [ Dog barks in distance ] 407 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,397 And that's when I knew what I had to do. 408 00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:02,106 Like the young warrior cast out into the darkness of the jungle 409 00:19:02,108 --> 00:19:03,607 to prove his manhood, 410 00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,809 I was going to learn how to parallel-park 411 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:09,479 the only way I knew how... 412 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:10,514 alone. 413 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,222 [ Sighs ] This is it. 414 00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:20,591 Sure, I was committing grand-theft auto, 415 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:22,526 but there was a greater need here. 416 00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,495 I had to take the chance, and I had to do it now. 417 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,497 And the path was clear ahead. 418 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:30,634 [ Metal crunches ] 419 00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:31,869 [ Dog barks ] 420 00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:33,937 Or so I thought. 421 00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:45,082 At that moment, I hit rock bottom. 422 00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:47,751 I couldn't drive. I couldn't park. 423 00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:50,888 I couldn't even remember to put away my father's lawnmower. 424 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:52,789 I didn't think I could feel any worse. 425 00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:54,391 [ Door opens ] 426 00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:57,194 Hey! Who's out there? 427 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,496 Except then I did. 428 00:20:00,766 --> 00:20:02,365 The funny thing is, for a second, 429 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:06,002 I actually thought about running for my life. 430 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,774 What the hell's going on here? 431 00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:17,281 But somehow I guess I knew... I just couldn't run anymore. 432 00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:19,983 It was time to face the truth. 433 00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:27,124 I don't know how to park. 434 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:30,493 I lied about my license. 435 00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:32,796 I never took the test. 436 00:20:36,802 --> 00:20:38,569 [ Keys jingle ] 437 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,637 Here. 438 00:20:45,143 --> 00:20:48,345 Take 'em. I don't want 'em. 439 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:56,186 And maybe in that moment, I learned something... 440 00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:58,956 About being a man. 441 00:21:00,559 --> 00:21:03,694 Yeah, you do. 442 00:21:07,199 --> 00:21:08,765 Come on. Let's go. 443 00:21:08,767 --> 00:21:10,467 Where? 444 00:21:10,469 --> 00:21:13,036 You got to start somewhere. 445 00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:20,010 And I learned it... 446 00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:22,245 From the guy who wrote the book. 447 00:21:23,448 --> 00:21:27,551 [ Car door opens, closes ] 448 00:21:27,553 --> 00:21:28,952 Little bit more. 449 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,053 That's good. 450 00:21:30,055 --> 00:21:32,656 All right. All right. All right, now. 451 00:21:32,658 --> 00:21:34,324 Straighten it out, straighten it out. 452 00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:37,394 Good! Good! All right! 453 00:21:37,396 --> 00:21:40,230 That night, my Dad taught me a lot. 454 00:21:43,268 --> 00:21:45,769 How to parallel-park... 455 00:21:45,771 --> 00:21:49,873 Why you put away the lawnmower... 456 00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:54,578 And, in some small way, what it takes to grow up. 457 00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:57,781 That Monday, he took the afternoon off, 458 00:21:57,783 --> 00:22:00,851 and we went and got my license. 459 00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:03,654 He was so proud. 460 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:08,459 Then he took it away and grounded me for a month. 461 00:22:08,509 --> 00:22:13,059 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33010

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