Original subtitles

? What would you do if I sang out of tune? ?

? Would you stand up and walk out on me? ?

? Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song ?

? I will try not to sing out of key, yeah ?

? Oh, baby, I get by ? ? By with a little help from my friends ?

? All I need is my buddies ?

? High with a little help from my friends ?

? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? ?Try with a little help from my friends ?

? Whoa-oa-oa-oa ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Somebody who knows quite sure ?

? Baby ?

? By with a little help from my friends ?

? Said I'm gonna make it with my friends ?

? Try with a little help from my friends ?

? Oh, I'm gonna keep on trying ?

? High with a little help from my friends ?

? I'm gonna keep on trying now, baby ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

[ "59th Street Bridge Song" plays ]

Whenever I look back on growing up in the suburbs,

there's one thing I remember most clearly.

Our neighbors, the Pfeiffers, were always there.

? Slow down, you move too fast ?

? You got to make... ?

But we were more than just neighbors.

We were like one big happy family.

? Lookin' for fun, and feelin' groovy ?

And at the heart of it all were our dads...

the men who set the tone.

? Feelin' groovy ?

My Dad, the athlete.

And Paul's Dad, the optometrist.

Under their watchful eyes,

our families grew and prospered.

One for all, and all for one.

Until, that is, things started to change.

[ School bell rings ]

Hey, it's the Pfeiff. How you doin'?

Great, man.

Take Paul going to prep school, for instance.

"Pfeiff"? What is that... like Barney fife?

Well, actually, it's "the Pfeiff."

Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

From now on, you can call me... "The Kev."

But the changes weren't just about nicknames.

Man, I got a ton of homework.

Ugh. Me too.

I have a 3-page report on "Evangeline" due by tomorrow.

I got 45 pages on economic imperialism.

Typed.

You win.

Oh, big prize.

And they didn't stop at academic differences, either.

[ Music plays ]

There were other changes, too.

Bigger changes.

Oh, Alvin! It's wonderful!

25 inches diagonal.

The Pfeiffers had come into money.

Isn't she a beaut?

I didn't know you guys were getting a new TV.

Neither did I.

Well, I saw it in the window.

And you know me.

I'm a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy.

I decided my family deserves a little luxury.

In this case, "little" being an understatement.

Looks expensive.

Oh, well, you know, Dad made this investment

in some beachfront property.

Yeah, and he pulled in a truckload of moola.

Debbie.

Well, that's what you said last night.

It wasn't that much.

Maybe not.

Uh, let's try the remote control.

But it seemed, with his windfall,

Alvin Pfeiffer was standing a little taller these days,

at least in the eyes of his family.

Alvin, look!

They look like they're coming right through the screen!

Not that I begrudged the Pfeiffers their good fortune,

you understand.

I mean, who would?

Damn!

You okay, Dad?

Fine.

That was my Dad.

He had his own way of taking care of his family.

More the do-it-yourself approach.

Of course, we tried to give him as much support as possible.

Hey, "get smart" starts in 15 minutes.

Maybe we should drop in on the Pfeiffers.

After all, billionaire or not,

he was the man we looked up to and trusted.

Jack, maybe we should call somebody

before you electrocute yourself.

Everything's under control, Norma.

[ Electricity crackles ]

Hey, I got an idea.

You should buy some land like old man Pfeiff-ster.

Shut up, butthead!

You shut up!

Wayne!

Your father takes good care of us.

Besides, I like this old TV.

Alvin's lucky he didn't lose his shirt.

Yeah. Instead he got a color TV.

But the fact was, when it came to high finance,

my Dad was just more of a conservative man,

a man of quiet wisdom.

What the hell is this?

In short, a man of small parts.

What'd you do to this thing?

I dropped it from the top of my house.

Gene's mower shop... the great suburban leveler.

Yeah, it's the carburetor.

How much?

Have to look it up.

I don't know if they make parts for these things anymore.

Wise guy.

Come on, Dad, let's take a look around.

Why not?

In a world where male bonding was at a minimum,

this place was a treasure trove of guy things...

blowers, mulchers, four-pronged widgets.

You could find almost anything here.

- There's the clutch. - Cool!

Including Al Pfeiffer on a tractor

the size of a Sherman tank.

- Dad? - Huh?

Jack!

Hey, there.

Alvin, what the hell are you doing on that thing?

You know, just checking her out.

Okay, nothing wrong with that.

That's a lot of mower.

You betcha.

Yep, we were sharing

a time-honored tribal tradition here...

eating our guts out over a hunk of big-dollar technology

no ordinary mortal could ever...

okay, Mr. Pfeiffer.

We'll have her wrapped up and delivered by this afternoon.

Uh-oh.

You bought it, Al?

Well, I figure you only live once, right, Jack?

[ Chuckles ] Oh, how about you, sir?

She's got 11 horses,

a 47-inch cutting deck with reversible blades.

Interested?

Now, possibly this guy was new on the job.

Unhunh.

Oh, come on, sir. You know what they say.

"Your neighbors will be green with envy."

Or maybe he was just looking to start a neighborhood war.

I got a mower.

A good one.

In any event...

[ Creaking ]

Okay, I can fix it.

But I can't promise it's gonna last longer than six weeks.

Fine.

Okay.

We'll take it someplace else.

And at that moment,

there was really only one thing to say.

Nice talking.

Uhhuh.

The thing is, it was only a stupid mower.

Still, that afternoon, I couldn't shake the feeling

there was more at stake here than just...

- Whoa! - ...Lawn care.

Showoff.

And as Dad set the tone,

something weird began to happen.

So I made up my mind.

Whatever was going on between my father and Mr. Pfeiffer...

I wasn't gonna let it get to me and Paul. Hey.

So, why does your Dad need that stupid lawnmower anyway?

Of course, Paul wanted to smooth things over, too.

What the hell's that supposed to mean?

Oh, come on. It's bigger than your whole yard!

No, it's not bigger than our whole yard.

So we discussed it in a calm and mature fashion.

Well, it's bigger than half your yard.

What is this, a math thing?

No, but... well, how are you gonna turn it around?

In your neighbor's yard?

Admittedly, this was getting off track.

What I really meant to say

in a sensitive and caring manner was...

I mean, what's next?

You gonna join some pansy country club?

Well, actually... We already did.

Oh. This is brilliant.

First you go ahead and buy this huge lawnmower,

and then you're gonna join a stupid country club?

Hey, you're the one who's being stupid!

Yep, we were really working this thing out here.

I don't have time for this. I got things to do.

Yeah, fine. So do I!

And with the fences firmly mended

between the Arnolds and the Pfeiffers,

we went home with our friendship as solid as ever.

Over the next few days,

as the Pfeiffers continued to parade their good fortune,

the Arnold community spirit began to run a little thin.

Now he's putting in a pool. Can you believe that guy?

Why can't we have a pool?

You want a pool? Start digging.

Goodwill was turning to bad blood.

And as we closed ranks around Dad,

the gap between him and Paul's Dad got...

Wider.

With me in the middle.

Okay, Kevirooski.

Follow the light with those peepers

and don't move your head.

Yes, sir.

The thing is, even though I'd known the guy for years,

suddenly I was seeing him in a whole new light.

Gotcha!

A little optometrist humor.

Pretty funny.

- Are we done now? - Not yet.

Read that for me.

"E," "f," "p," "t," "c," "z."

Look at him... Mr. moneybags.

John D. Rockapfeiffer.

Not a care in the world.

You know, Kev, I'm worried.

Huh? About my eyes?

Unhunh. About your Dad.

What about him?

Well, I'm not sure.

He didn't look happy the other day.

Is he okay?

Well, yeah, he's...

Oh, no.

I wasn't gonna give him that satisfaction.

He works hard, that's all.

Unlike some rich guys I could think of.

That's Jack, all right. He's a hell of a guy.

Careful man. Take that investment thing.

Great. I should have known.

This whole thing was just another excuse to crow about...

he could have come in with me, you know.

What?

We talked about it.

You did?

But he wasn't interested.

Too big a risk, I guess.

I couldn't believe my ears.

I don't know.

Maybe he was right.

These land things tend to be complicated.

Unpredictable, risky. Know what I mean?

But at that moment,

I wasn't interested in the greater aspects of real estate.

I was thinking just one thing.

I can't believe it.

My Dad, who grumbled about the Pfeiffers' good fortune,

could have had one himself.

Okay, sport.

Let's test your depth perception.

And suddenly, this whole situation

was starting to get kind of...

Fuzzy.

Damn.

That's great, Dad.

Now it matches the one in the living room.

I don't understand this.

But Dad wasn't the only one feeling confused.

So, how was your eye appointment today, honey?

Fine, except Mr. Pfeiffer said that...

oh, that reminds me.

Jack, Ida called today.

She invited us all to the country club on Saturday.

Forget it. We're not going.

Why not?

Because. We got other things to do.

What other things?

Things.

But, Jack, it's just that I already accepted.

I-I thought it'd be fun, and we haven't spent...

I said we're not going.

Of course, we all knew what was going on here.

So I guess it was up to me to put it all in perspective.

What's your problem, Dad?

I mean, it's his money, isn't it?

He earned it. He took the risk.

Looking back, it was one of those moments

that makes you really, really proud

to have been a smart-aleck kid.

More potatoes, butthead?

Hey, everybody, this is my twisting double jackknife!

Fairlawn Country Club...

watering spot of the well-to-do,

where the glamorous went to cavort.

It's fun, huh?

Not that my family were strangers to the place.

We'd driven past the front gates lots of times.

Yoohoo! Over here!

Oh, brother.

Jack.

Let's get this over with.

Guess you could say we were all in a festive mood.

I'm so glad you could come.

Oh, it's lovely here. Isn't it lovely, Jack?

Where's Alvin?

Oh, he'll be joining us in a while.

He had some business calls to make.

Is anyone thirsty?

- Sure. - No.

Right.

Hey, Kevin! Watch my swan dive!

Still, as country clubs go, this wasn't so bad.

Nice surroundings, pleasant company.

Hi.

Hey.

How's it going?

Okay.

And it seemed pretty clear

one of us had to break the ice here.

So... You want to... Do something?

So, when Paul offered the old olive branch,

I jumped right on.

Like what, play tennis?

[ Ball bouncing ]

Service, Arnold.

[ Ducks quacking ]

I thought you said you played before.

Of course I played before.

As in twice.

Let me serve.

No, don't worry about me. I can serve.

After all, maybe I wasn't Mr. country club,

but I could hold my own.

Look, you want a few tips?

Tips?

What did I look like, his personal waiter?

I got it.

Here, let me serve. I've been taking lessons.

Fine. You want to serve? Serve.

Lessons, tips, tennis.

Who'd this guy think he was anyway, the Great Gatsby?

In retrospect, it was the straw that broke this pauper's back.

And in that instant, I only wanted one thing...

to knock him flat on his ascot.

Aaah.

Paul?

Paul?!

Paul?

Polo, anyone?

How's your head, honey?

Fine, Mom. I'm fine.

An hour later, the celebration was in full swing.

And the party was just getting started.

Sorry I'm late, guys.

It was grim.

Here we were, two families who grew up practically next door,

with nothing to say to each other but...

Anybody got any more saltines, huh?

Face it.

Money had come between us.

Two decades of neighborly goodwill

had run aground on a few measly acres

of beachfront investment property.

And there was nothing any of us could do to make it better.

I'd like to make a toast.

Except, of course, make a toast.

We've known each other for many years.

We've worked together, broken bread together,

birthed our children together.

We've seen each other through good and bad.

So, in a way...

Your good fortune is our good fortune.

And I just want to say how proud we are of you.

To you and your success and all the joy it brings.

We hope it's just the beginning.

I guess human dignity can be a powerful force.

Grace untrammeled can move mountains.

Congratulations, Alvin.

I'm happy for you.

Mmhmm.

Me too.

And in that simple moment, with those simple gestures,

you could feel a burden lift.

It was wonderful.

[ Sobbing ]

It was... Horrible.

Al.

Honey?

It's gone.

What?

I said, "it's gone."

The whole investment.

The whole shebang.

Oh, God.

Not the beach, Dad!

Underwater... all of it.

His face told the tale.

One phone call, and the Pfeiffer fortunes

had landed on the continental shelf.

[ Boat engine roaring, bell ringing ]

So, of course, being neighbors,

there was only one thing we could do.

Waiter?

Double steak sandwich. Make it fast, huh?

[ Sobbing ]

Nobody talked much the rest of that afternoon

or on the way home.

I guess we were all a little sobered

by the knowledge that the fortune of an optometrist

could vanish in the blink of an eye.

Where are you going, honey?

Just for a walk.

Not that I needed the exercise.

Somehow I knew I couldn't leave things the way they'd ended up.

Not with me and Paul.

Hey.

How's your head?

I'll live.

Hmm.

Seemed we were just plumb out of olive branches here.

Look, it was an honest mistake.

I mean, you hit the ball to me, and I hit it back.

You didn't...

will you forget about the darn ball?!

I don't want to talk about the ball, okay?!

Okay.

Sheesh.

Tennis is a drag anyway.

I hate this.

I wasn't sure if he meant me or the grass clippings or...

He's a fine optometrist, you know.

Oh.

He's a leader in his field.

The thing is, I'd been so busy tearing down my own Dad,

I guess I'd forgotten Paul had one to tear down, too.

Sure.

'Course.

I mean, it's not like he's broke or anything.

He does okay.

Right?

Well...

I wanted to tell him that he had nothing to fear,

that any man who could produce a son like Paul

was a giant in my book.

You'll probably have to take the mower back.

But other than that...

He's one of the greats.

You think so?

Even if his beach was underwater.

Shove over.

You really got me.

At the end of that semester,

Paul left his prep school and came to McKinley with me.

In a way, I think he was happy about it.

I know I was.

As for the Arnolds and Pfeiffers,

we patched things up.

After all, some things are more lasting than real estate.

And Mr. Pfeiffer?

Think of it this way...

nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Besides, you never knew when the tide might go out.

[ Waves crashing ]

[ Bell ringing ]

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