All language subtitles for The Wonder Years s05e08 Dinner Out.eng

? What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ?

? Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ?

? Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ?

? I will try not to sing
out of key, yeah ?

? Oh, baby, I get by ?
? By with a little help from my friends ?

? All I need is my buddies ?

? High with a little help
from my friends ?

? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ?
?Try with a little help from my friends ?

- ? Whoa-oa-oa-oa, yeah ?
- ? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

My Dad was always
a sucker for birthdays.

Every year,
he loved the ritual,

the attention, the cake.

Heck, we all loved the cake.

But most of all,
Dad loved our gifts.

No matter what we gave him,

it was his moment of glory,
his time in the sun,

his chance
to be king for a day.

Unfortunately,
by birthday time 1971,

the king wasn't looking so...

- [ Burps ]
- ...Kingly.

Sorry. [ Chuckles ]

Maybe it was because he was
about to turn 43 in a week.

Maybe it was
the day-to-day irritations.

Maybe it was something else.

Jack, I spoke to Karen today.

I don't want to talk about it.

Well, she just wanted to know
how we're all doing.

We're doing fine.

And she mentioned
that she and...

I don't want to talk about it.

Face it...
for the past six months,

ever since he'd found out
my sister

was cohabitating
without benefit of clergy,

Dad had become
kind of... Monosyllabic.

[ Sighs ]

We, of course, did our best
to humor the big guy.

So, Dad...

Who do you think's gonna be
in the super bowl this year?

I don't get it.

I mean, what's the big deal?

Just because she's shacking up
with some guy...

[ Groans ]

Well, Jack, maybe if you
just talk to her...

But no matter how hard
we tried,

there was just no mending
the hole in our family.

I don't want to talk about it.

I don't want to talk about it.
Okay?

Ah, well.
Like Dad, like daughter.

Honey, he is your father.

Mom, did you really come all
the way up here to tell me that?

No. I came to bring
you groceries.

Every two weeks,

my mother would invent
some subterfuge

to sneak behind enemy lines

and attempt to re-establish
communications...

We do have stores
around here, you know.

With varying success.

Hey, you got that okay?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Your Mom knows there's only
two of us, right?

I think so.

That would be Michael,
Karen's boyfriend,

or live-in,
or significant other...

whatever.

So, uh, how's your Dad?

You know, he's about the same.

- Only worse?
- You got it.

Thing is,

even though I was supposed
to hate the guy,

I didn't...
not that that was the problem.

Well, we live together.
We sleep together.

We are together.

That was the problem.

We know that, honey.

No, no, no, maybe you know
that. Dad doesn't know that.

Well, you just have
to give him some time.

I mean, he...
he's stubborn, pigheaded.

Isn't he, Kevin?

Uh...

Now, don't talk about
your father like that.

So, uh,

who do you think's gonna be
in the super bowl this year?

Guess life here was about
the same as at our house.

Never mind.

Karen, you're not being fair.

Just come talk to him.

Mom, I'd love to.

Well, good, then.

But not without Michael.

[ Sighs ]

And we were back
where we started.

You know,
maybe it wouldn't hurt

for you to, you know,
sit down together.

I mean, he's your father,
right?

And, well, he's paying
for all the groceries, right?

I think there's
another bag in the car.

Right?

Right.

And there you had it.

Honey.

There's nothing more
to talk about, Mom.

We were trapped between
the rock and the hard place...

With no place to go, but...

Shopping.

"Happy Birthday, Dad.
You're not getting older.

That would be impossible."
[ Laughs ]

Come on, you don't want
to get him that.

Why not? Mom said we can get
him anything we want.

Which, for my brother,
meant anything under a buck.

Me, I'd been working
all summer,

and this was the first time
in my life I could afford

to spend more than $2
for my father's birthday.

Trouble was I had absolutely
no idea what it should be.

May I help you?

Uh, yeah, I'm looking
for a gift for my Dad.

[ Gasps ]
I know just the thing.

Great.
A little professional advice.

Socks.

- Socks.
- They're Dacron polyester.

Well, no. You see,

I wanted to get him something,
you know, better.

Well, that shouldn't be
too hard.

Why don't you tell me
a little bit about him?

Well, he's my Dad, and, uh...

Let's see now.

Well, he's sort of...

He's kind of like...

trouble was, how could you put
a man like that into words?

[ Metal clangs ]

Damn!

That would be one way.

- Dad?
- What?

What do you want
for your birthday?

Figured maybe I'd get
an insight, here.

Screwdriver.

Or maybe not.

I mean, is there something

you might really need,
but no one ever got you?

You know, something really...

no!

Oh.

[ Groans ]

Great. It's all I needed.

Whole place is coming apart
in my hands.

The thing is, I'd never seen
the guy so down in the dumps.

Someone was gonna have
to do something, and fast.

Um, Jack?

Huh?

And then my mother did.

I've been thinking
about your party.

I don't want a party.

Oh, fine, then.
It won't be a party.

It'll be more like a...
Family get-together.

But if Mom thought

she was gonna lead this horse
to water,

she picked the wrong horse.

Forget it, Norma.

Yeah, come on, Mom.
He doesn't...

I know that Karen
would love to come.

She would?

I talked to her this morning.

And she said that,
that she'd like to come?

Mmhmm.

It was the first glimmer
of a smile

I'd seen on the guy in weeks.

She and Michael spoke,
and they thought

they'd drive down here
on Saturday, and...

what?! Over my dead body.

[ Metal clangs ]

- But, honey.
- No!

I don't want to talk about it!

Listen to me, Jack!
She's our daughter!

How can you treat her
like this?

What about her?

She's the one who moved in
with that...

- Hmm.
- ...That...

Cad? Cradle robber?

She wants to come
to your birthday, Jack.

Not with that guy,
not in my house!

And there it was...
Dad's final proclamation.

End of discussion.

There was nothing
left to say, except...

Then why don't we go
someplace else?

Huh?

It may have been
the most inspired moment

of Wayne's long
and abysmal adolescence.

Well, yeah, you know,
like a... a restaurant.

A restaurant.

And suddenly Dad had been
caught dead to rights.

What do you think, honey?

In one fell swoop,

the great wall of protocol
had been smashed.

What else could the old man
say, other than...

Who gets to pick
the restaurant?

- You.
- You do.

Oh.

And so, at long last,
the arrangements were made.

Here you go, gentlemen.

The stage was set

for the great Arnold
Saturday-night peace conference

of 1971.

The Briarcliff Lodge... our
very own demilitarized zone.

Not bad.

As for me,

I'd decided on a surprise gift
for Dad.

I was gonna blow the proceeds
of my summer

on dinner
for the whole family...

Assuming it didn't get stolen.

- Get out of here!
- [ Laughs ]

Well, shall we go in?

Yep, all that remained

was to await the arrival
of loved ones and friends...

Or the hell's angels,

whichever came first.

Hi. Sorry we're late.

They couldn't come in a car?

They don't have a car.

Hi, Dad.

Mm.

Hey, Mr. Arnold.

Hi, Michael.

Looking back, it was quite
a moment... historic, really.

After all, we were
crossing the Rubicon here.

So, you're the guy

who's sleeping
with my sister, huh?

And there was
nothing to do but...

Swim for our lives.

Good evening. May I help you?

Yes. Arnold, party of six.

Let me check.

Dinner at the last chance
restaurant...

things hadn't exactly
started off on the right foot.

Still, at least everyone
was still talking.

I'm sorry.

Might the reservation be
under another name?

I don't think so.
I called myself.

I see nothing here.

And as you can tell,
we're quite busy.

Ah, Dr. cook.

Hmm, seemed pretty clear

this bozo was playing Mom
for all she was worth.

And the birthday boy
was getting antsy.

[ Clears throat ]

There a problem, Norma?

Uh, no, honey.
Everything's fine.

Okay, then.

Since I was gonna be paying
for this fiasco...

Listen.

Mac.

Today's my father's birthday.

So this dinner's, uh,
kind of important.

So maybe you can get us
a table.

[ Chuckles ]

I'll see what I can do.

Like they say, money talks.

Nobody walks.

Yeah, it was all just a matter

of dropping a few pesos
in the right pocket.

This is lovely.

Well, yes. Your table
is over here.

On the other hand,

maybe the peso didn't go
as far as it used to.

Enjoy.

Well, this is... Nice.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

So, where do we sit?

Well, let me see.

Uh... How about...
Boy, girl, boy, girl?

There. Sound thinking.

What a plan...

boy...

Girl...

Boy...

girl...

Boy...

Boy...

Whoa, boy...

Leading to one
unmistakable conclusion.

Guess we ran out of girls, huh?

Yeah. That would be it.

And how are we all
this evening?

If only she knew.

Can I get you folks a drink?

Uh, yeah. I'll have a double
scotch, rocks, with a twist.

For him, natch.

Oh.

If we could just see
the menus, please.

Oh, our special tonight is
a 16-ounce prime rib.

Prime rib, huh?

All right, this was the ticket.

Mellow the guy out with a good,
old-fashioned hunk of...

Dead cow.

Uh, Karen.

Well, that's what prime rib is,
isn't it?

Cow flesh?

How many innocent beasts
had to be slaughtered

so we could have this meal?

I don't know, honey.
I just work here.

I'll be back
to take your orders.

Who chose this place, anyway?

Dad did.

Which left us about,
oh, five seconds

from meltdown.

So, uh, Mr. Arnold,
how are things at...

Norplant?

Norcorp. Norfleet.

Nor...

[ Clock ticking ]

Com! [ Ding! ]

Norcom!

That's... that's where
you work, right?

How are things there?

Work's work.

And back to me.

Well, uh, I have to go
to the bathroom.

Yeah, me too.

Norcom! I knew it was Norcom.

What is the matter with me?

Look, it wasn't so bad, really.

Right. I just made a complete
fool of myself.

Well, sometimes my Dad
can do that to people.

Maybe we should just stay
in here for a while, you think?

Obviously this guy needed help.

Look, you'll be fine.

It just gets awkward
when you're, you know...

Sleeping
with someone's daughter?

The new person.

You mean 'cause I'm sleeping
with his daughter?

Well, there's that.

If I could just figure out
how to talk to the guy.

What's he interested in...
I mean, besides murder?

So I searched my brain

for that one elusive,
universal language

that could somehow forge
a bond between men.

What about golf?

Golf?

Sure. Dad loved golf.

Uhhuh.

My short game's crap,
my putting's gone to pot,

and last weekend I lost 12 bucks
on a three-man Nassau.

I hate golf.

Excuse me.

It's all you can eat, butthead,

not all you can carry.

Yeah.

Pow.

And so, from the far-flung
corners of the salad bar,

we came together once again,

basking in the warm glow
of familial companionship,

chatting up a storm.

I have an idea.

Why don't we all give
your father his gifts?

Ah, Norma, I don't...

don't be silly, Jack.
It's your birthday.

You have to have presents.

Well, it was worth a try,
anyway.

Sorry I didn't have time
to wrap it,

but, uh, it's really cool, huh?

Thanks.

Fortunately, as it turned out,
the evening didn't hinge

on Wayne's taste
in haberdashery.

Go on. Open it.

November 6, 1927...

43 years ago today.

Where'd you get this?

I asked your father if he had
any old pictures of you,

and he gave me a box your mother
left in the attic.

My birth certificate?

Look at the tiny
little footprints.

[ Chuckles ] They're smaller
than my thumbs.

See?

And that's when it happened.

For the first time that night,

you could feel something
between us...

something real.

Here you are
at your college graduation.

And here you are,
leaving for Korea.

Ain't he handsome
in his uniform?

[ Laughter ]

Oh, look at me.
I'm as big as a house.

That was a week
before Karen was born.

You remember
what you said to me

when I called you
from the hospital?

Yeah. I remember.

I said, "I hope it's a girl."

In that moment,
almost from out of nowhere,

we were drawn together again.

Oh. Here's the whole family.

That was a long time ago, huh?

It was the family
we remembered,

the family we loved,
the family we'd once been.

Here. Open mine next, daddy.

Oh. [ Clears throat ]

[ Gasps ]

A Ratchet set.
I could really use this.

I'm glad.

It was Michael's idea.

Guess you could say it was
kind of the high point

of the evening.

Thanks.

[ Clears throat ]

Well, gee, Dad. Don't get
all choked up about it.

I said thank you.

Did you see what he just did?
Mom, did you just see?

Honey.

Come on, Karen, give the guy
a break. It's his birthday.

Hey, when I need your help,
I'll ask for it.

Look, I was just trying
to ease the...

you've done enough, damn it.

That's it. I'm leaving.

Karen!

You know,
I don't know why I thought

tonight would be any different.

Come on, Michael.
We're out of here.

No. You're not out of here.

We're out of here.
Where's the check?

It was horrible.

Wait a minute, Dad.
I was gonna pay.

Jack, please.

You gonna eat this?

[ Indistinct shouting ]

That night, I sat and looked
at old photos of my Dad...

the things he'd done,
his life and times.

Maybe I was searching for some
way to make things better.

But somehow I knew...

It wasn't up to me
to set this right.

[ Motorcycle approaches ]

Hi.

[ Sighs ]

Daddy, can we talk?

I think I'd like that.

You coming in?

II can't stay.

I know.

Not for long, anyway.

I know.

[ Chuckles ]

Only where to begin?

I couldn't hear exactly
what they said.

But, watching them,

I finally knew what my father
needed for his birthday...

not a funny tie or a $47 meal

or even a Ratchet set.

What he needed was...

Happy Birthday.

Was to know, deep down,

that she remembered
what he remembered,

and to feel, even for
that briefest moment...

Like king for a day.

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