Original subtitles

? What would you do if I sang out of tune? ?

? Would you stand up and walk out on me? ?

? Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song ?

? I will try not to sing out of key, yeah ?

? Oh, baby, I get by ? ? By with a little help from my friends ?

? All I need is my buddies ?

? High with a little help from my friends ?

? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? -? Try with a little help from my friends ?

? Whoa-oa-oa-oa ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Somebody who knows quite sure ?

? Baby ?

? By with a little help from my friends ?

? Said I'm gonna make it with my friends ?

? Try with a little help from my friends ?

? Oh, I'm gonna keep on trying ?

? High with a little help from my friends ?

? I'm gonna keep on trying now, baby ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

The 1970s were filled with improbable events,

strange occurrences,

unexpected happenings.

But nothing was quite as improbable

as my brother...

And his new girlfriend.

Why is Sandy Tyler dating your brother?

[ Scoffs ] Got me.

What is it, like some kind of science experiment?

Got me.

It defied explanation.

Sandy Tyler was a seemingly intelligent 11th-grader.

She was smart. She was pretty.

She's out of her mind.

Seemed as good an explanation as any.

Hey, Kev. How's it going?

Hi, Kevin.

Hi. How you doing?

Good.

"Scarlet letter," huh?

Yeah, we read that last year.

Yeah. It's really...

- Thick? - Yeah.

It's really thick.

And stupid.

I mean, the lady is tempted once by love,

and she's made a complete outcast.

I think the town overreacted. [ Laughs ]

Right, Wayne?

Uh...

Uh... Indubitably.

[ Bell rings ] It was amazing.

- Well, we better get going. - Okay.

- Come on. - Bye.

By some fantastic stroke of cosmic luck,

my brother had found paradise...

a girl with charm, a girl with style,

a girl... Who used her silverware.

This is great, Mrs. Arnold.

Yes. It's, uh, superb.

Oh, well, thank you.

Needless to say, it was a shock.

I was shocked.

Dad was shocked.

[ Chuckles ]

Only my mother seemed to have expected this.

So, how did you two meet?

Let me tell. [ Chuckles ]

I was running to class and I tripped on the stairs

and I was falling and all of a sudden...

There was Wayne.

Lucky me.

- I'll say. - I'll say.

Yep, Wayne was really improving himself socially.

[ Burps ]

Not to mention academically.

Don't look at the keys. Don't look at the keys.

Don't look at the keys.

Excellent technique, Mr. Arnold.

Thanks.

Not you.

Thanks.

Let's face it. The guy was on a roll.

Let's see your work, Mr. Arnold.

Whereas for me...

The story of my life read more like...

"Dodopklin erflemma maschmal Klum

scalami asterotera spalumpkum."

I didn't look at the keys.

Sophomores.

It was true.

While my worthless brother was hitting his stride,

I seemed to be losing ground, and fast.

For one thing, I was in a very serious dating slump.

I'm not sure why, exactly.

Hey, I'd watch out for those mashed potatoes.

I bet there's a lot of parasites in 'em.

Creep.

Possibly... just possibly...

it had something to do with my technique.

[ Bell rings ]

Seemed the harder I tried, the worse things got.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Okay. See you later.

Bye.

Batter up!

Hey, Alice. How you doing?

Hi, Kevin.

What's wrong?

My geometry teacher caught me cheating.

I don't even think it is cheating!

- Well, it's not! - You weren't there!

Right. But... I bet it wasn't.

Instead of copying the notes from the book,

I copied from someone else's paper.

It's not like I wrote the answer on my hand!

What difference does it make who I copied from?

Now my teacher's gonna tell my parents

and I'm gonna get an "f,"

and it's gonna be on my permanent record!

You want to go to the dance with me on Friday?

Huh?

Okay. My timing might have been a little off.

I'm sorry.

I know you're upset and everything.

No. It's okay.

I'd like to go with you.

Great.

But Richard Rachman already asked me.

Oh.

Yeah. Richard.

He's very sensitive.

The guy sniffed his gym socks.

Yeah. He's... Real sensitive.

Well, I hope you feel better.

Thanks.

Kevin?

[ Bell rings ]

Can I copy your history notes?

It didn't make sense.

- Bye. - Bye.

All over school,

girls were going out with jerks and calling them "sensitive"

or dumb guys and calling them "deep."

It just wasn't fair.

I decided to get away, be alone, by myself,

forget all about things like...

[ Both laugh ]

Romance.

Hi.

Hi!

Hi.

Sorry. I didn't know anyone was down here.

It's okay. Come on, sit down.

Yeah. Join us.

Talk about your warm welcomes.

No, thanks. I got a lot of stuff to do.

Kevin, sit down. We're watching "Sonny and Cher."

Yeah.

Well, maybe for a second.

Great.

[ Indistinct talking, laughter ]

[ Laughter ]

[ Applause ]

Being... being sexy is not that big of a deal.

How would you know?

[ Laughter ]

Okay. Best comedy team.

Abbott and Costello.

Laurel and Hardy.

Martin and Lewis.

The three stooges.

[ Laughs ]

"Why, I oughta..." "Why, I oughta..."

Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. [ Both laugh ]

[ Laughter ]

That's not funny, Cher.

I couldn't believe it.

My brother, Wayne, was actually being funny

and charming.

Uh, I got to go to the can.

You know why you're jealous?

I have more talent in my little finger...

this one here... than most people have...

[ Laughs ]

[ Door closes ]

They are so good together.

Let's hear it for Sonny Bono's little finger.

[ Laughter ]

II think it's 'cause they're so in love.

Yeah, you can tell.

I mean, they really like being around each other.

Yeah.

And suddenly, I felt very relaxed with her.

Maybe because it was I didn't have to ask her for a date.

Do you think...

There's one special person for everyone?

I don't know.

I think you can be happy with lots of people.

But there's probably one person out there.

[ Chuckles ] Yeah. That's what I think, too.

But who knows if you're ever gonna find that person?

I mean, my girl could be in Alaska, for all I know.

[ Laughing ] Yeah.

Yeah.

It was a heavy conversation.

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughs ]

I've had it about up to here with you.

That's easy. You're short.

[ Laughter ]

[ Both laugh ]

Oh, I love it when she makes those short jokes.

Yeah, it's funny.

I don't think she's trying to be nasty or anything.

No!

No. You can tell she's just being funny and everything.

?They say we're young and we don't know?

? We won't find out until we grow ?

?Well, I don't know if all that's true?

? 'Cause you got me, and, baby, I got you ?

[ Door opens, closes ]

Did I miss anything?

- No. - No.

- ? I got you, babe ? - ? I got you, babe ?

[ Laughs ] -?I got you, babe? -?I got you, babe?

[ Birds chirping ]

The next morning, I was feeling extremely guilty.

I had kissed my brother's girlfriend.

At the same time,

I kept playing it over and over again in my mind.

Sandy just leaned over and...

[ Clears throat ]

Uh...

Hi, Dad.

Hi.

II was just...

Uh...

Seeing... If...

Making sure that...

I...Wasn't doing anything.

[ Chuckles nervously ]

I didn't see anything.

Oh.

One thing was clear.

I couldn't handle this thing alone.

[ Grunts ]

[ Indistinct conversations ]

It was time to talk this out privately, one on one.

Hey, Sandy.

Hi, Kevin.

Hey.

Hey.

How you guys doing?

Great.

Well... I'd...

Better go to class.

And that was that.

The whole thing had meant nothing at all,

in which case I felt relieved.

I felt happy.

[ Bell rings ]

I felt completely ticked off.

Kevin?

Oh.

Hi.

We need to talk.

Yeah. Right.

I mean, last night...

We kissed.

Yeah. We kissed.

And I don't know if that meant anything or not.

Did it mean something to you?

Yeah, it meant something.

It meant something to me, too.

It's just that, uh, Kevin, I'm dating your brother.

I know.

[ Chuckles ] And it makes me feel creepy.

I've done some strange things in my life, but, uh...

Going out with two brothers...

It was weird.

Here she was, baring her soul to me,

and all I could think of was... What other strange things?

The thing is, I like Wayne.

I mean, he's so...

So...

He's so basic.

Yeah.

He's... Basic.

And he's real nice.

It's just that I don't know what happened last night.

You seemed so lonely.

Oh.

And... We were watching "Sonny and Cher"

and they were together and...

And we kissed.

And it was almost like Sonny and Cher kissed.

This is a dumb conversation, huh?

Kind of.

It's just all too crazy.

Yeah.

It is.

Yeah.

I think it would be best

if we could, uh, just be friends.

Yeah.

You're right.

I think friends is...

Definitely the way to go.

Yeah. [ Chuckles ]

Was that a friendship kiss?

Yeah. [ Chuckles ]

We should definitely just be friends.

[ Sonny & Cher's "I Got You Babe" plays ]

? They say we're young and we don't know... ?

For the rest of the day,

we were friends all over school.

? Well, I don't know if that's all true ?

? 'Cause you got me, and, baby, I got you ?

Sure, I knew it was wrong.

But I didn't care.

Dad...

Can I borrow a couple bucks?

Until that Friday.

Well, I'm taking Sandy to the dance tonight.

Oh.

Things were getting a little complicated.

Are you going, Kevin?

To put it mildly.

[ Laughs ] Are you kidding?

Butthead can't get a date. [ Laughs ]

Yeah, I'm going.

Oh. Well, that's good.

Maybe you'll meet someone there.

If only she knew.

You know, your father and I met at a school dance.

Do you remember that, Jack?

Uhhuh.

It's the last time you ever talked to Dick Claiborne.

Great.

I'm stuck in this terrible situation,

and my mother is gonna relive old times.

He was your father's best friend.

Dick took me to the dance,

but I saw your father there.

Of course, I'd seen him before,

but he was in a new suit.

Skinny as a rail.

[ Laughs ]

Anyway...

They had this terrible fight over me,

and they haven't talked since.

So?

So...

It was worth it.

And for some reason, suddenly, I was listening.

Had my father really said that?

[ Rewinding ]

[ Voice slowed, echoing ] So...

It was worth it.

He had.

And as those words rang in my head like a gong,

I made up my mind.

No matter what it did to Wayne, I would have to be with Sandy.

She was definitely worth it.

Hey, butthead.

What do you think of the shirt?

- It looks cool. - I'll change.

I began to build my case.

Look at him. He didn't deserve her.

He was disgusting.

"Basic"? He was subhuman.

He was a cretin.

He always picked on me, took my stuff,

treated me like dirt.

The guy never offered me one thing in his entire life.

You need a ride tonight?

Except for a ride.

You're talking to me?

Yeah! You can come with Sandy and me.

I don't know, Wayne.

Come on. It'll be fun.

It was horrible.

Here I was, trying to knock the guy down,

and all he was being was... Nice.

You really like her, huh?

Duh. Yeah.

And then he said something I'll never forget.

Sandy...

makes me better than I am.

Whatever that means.

Um... I'm leaving in a half-hour.

Be ready.

And then I realized who the cretin really was.

[ Door closes ]

It was me.

[ Bread's "if" plays ]

I was lower than a cretin.

I was lower than subhuman.

I was yeast.

?If a picture...?

[ Off-key ] ? if a picture paints a thousand words ?

? Then why can't I paint you? ?

Don't do this.

? When I... ?

?The words will never show...?

? Ne mm ?

? The you I've grown to know ?

As I sat there,

feeling the romance in that car,

I knew I'd been kidding myself.

I could never go through with this.

Hmm.

Let's boogie.

Wayne...

Let's just stay in the car for a minute.

I-I need to talk to you.

Unfortunately, Sandy could.

Yeah! Let's all stay.

Kevin, I need to talk to Wayne alone.

Well, I don't mind staying. Really.

Kid likes hanging around me.

Kevin...

?You come and pour yourself on me?

Um...

I couldn't hear what they were saying,

but I didn't have to.

I knew what it meant.

?...I'd be with you?

[ Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Green River" playing ]

?Well, take me back down where cool water flows, yeah?

I walked around in a daze,

worried that Sandy had broken up with him...

Worried that she hadn't.

Hey!

Kevin.

How you doing?

Okay.

- Let's go. - Uh-huh.

Your dates look cool.

Oh, thanks.

I hope they come back.

?I can hear the bullfrog callin' me?

I'll see you guys later, okay?

- Sandy. - Kevin.

You can't break up with Wayne.

I just did. I had to.

What did he say?

He felt bad. So did I.

Does he know... About us?

We shouldn't have done this.

Kevin, I really want to be with you.

I got to go talk to him.

[ The Band's "I Shall Be Released" plays ]

Hey.

How you doing?

?They say every distance...?

Look, Wayne...

Listen, I...

I broke up with Sandy.

What?

Dumped her.

You did?

Yeah.

It wasn't working out.

She wasn't my type.

?I see my light come shinin'?

The thing is, I don't want to get philosophical...

[ Burps ]

But I think even though she's hurt,

and...

Even though she feels...

Like nobody loves her and she's all alone...

?I shall be released?

It's better if it ended fast

because she...

Has a better chance of getting over it...

?They say that every man must fall?

Someday.

?Yet I swear I see my reflection?

? Somewhere so high... ?

As I sat there,

listening to my brother's pain

and the lies he told to cover it,

I didn't know what to do.

I knew I wanted to be with Sandy,

holding her in my arms, dancing with her.

?From the west down to the east?

But in the end, I stayed with my brother.

Because, after all...

He was my brother.

?Now yonder stands a man in this lonely crowd?

Butthead.

Buttbrain.

?A man who swears he's not to blame?

? All day long, I hear him shouting so loud ?

? Just crying out that he was framed ?

? I see my light come shinin' ?

? From the west... ?

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0