All language subtitles for The Wonder Years s05e02 Day One.eng

The dream.

I remember it as clearly
as if it were last night.

It was the first day of school.
I was late.

I found the class and went in.

[ Thunder crashes ]

I began to panic.

Maybe I'd come
on the wrong day.

Maybe I'd come
to the wrong place!

Every time I opened a door,
there was another hallway.

I couldn't find the teachers.
I couldn't find the students.

And that's when it hit me.
[ Thunder crashes ]

This was high school.

And I... Was completely
and utterly...

Alone.

? What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ?

? Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ?

? Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ?

? I will try not to sing
out of key, yeah ?

? Oh, baby, I get by ?
? By with a little help from my friends ?

? All I need is my buddies ?

? High with a little help
from my friends ?

? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? -?
Try with a little help from my friends ?

? Whoa-oa-oa-oa ?

? Oh, oh, oh, oh ?

? Somebody who knows
quite sure ?

? Baby ?

? By with a little help
from my friends ?

? Said I'm gonna make it
with my friends ?

? Try with a little help
from my friends ?

? Oh, I'm gonna
keep on trying ?

? High with a little help
from my friends ?

? I'm gonna keep on trying now,
baby ?

? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

? Eight Miles high ?

? And when you touch down ?

? You'll find
that it's stranger than known ?

1971.

It was a crazy time.

People were on the move,
looking for answers,

breaking new ground.

It seemed like everyone was
searching for a new identity.

? ...just being their own ?

Me, I was breaking some ground
of my own.

That September, I entered
William McKinley senior high.

I was looking forward
to a new adventure.

My only hope was

they'd have something
besides Jell-O for lunch.

Everything was different.

Minis had become micros.

Hippies had turned into
"heads,"

and some of us were on the road
to political awareness...

Kinda.

[ Bell rings ]

But those weren't
the only changes.

My best friend, Paul Pfeiffer,
was off to prep school,

which left me...

completely on my own.

[ Saxophone music plays ]

Yeah. This wasn't gonna
be bad at all.

Kevin Arnold? Stuart Carpazian.

Remember me?

We both had Miss Serita
for fourth grade.

Oh. Hi, Stuart.

Wow. It's good to see you!

You're probably wondering
what happened to me.

See, my Dad got a job in Tucson
when I was in fifth grade,

so we moved.

But I'm back now!

Jujube?

No, thanks.

So, how's your Mom?

Hey, remember
when she chaperoned

our field trip to the zoo...

And the elephants
started doing it?

Geez. Was this kid blind?

Couldn't he see
what was happening here?

Remember that time you came
down with the Hong Kong flu?

- Here she came.
- It was right after lunch.

Fish sticks and peas,

and you threw up
all over your desk.

Stuart!

Well, I got to go to class now.

It's been nice talking to you.

See you later!

Oh, well.

One thing about
a big public high school...

with any luck, Stuart Carpazian
would be lost in the system.

Hey, would you look at this?
Talk about luck.

Hey, you know
what I was thinking about?

That time we were
playing basketball,

you ran into the pole and
knocked a hole in your head.

Stuart, class is gonna start,
okay? We'll talk later.

Oh, yeah. Sure, sure.

[ Bell rings ] Not to be
obnoxious or anything,

but this was no time
to be reliving old memories.

This was high school...

the big leagues...

Education in the fast Lane...

once we got rolling.

Buenos Dias.
My name is Mr. Bottner.

And this is U.S. government.

Okay. Finally.

So, here are the rules.

Roman numeral "I"... rules.

Numero uno... Bottner's law.

At 8:25, the doors are locked.

No one gets in. No one gets out.

Numero dos.

Due to an inner-ear injury

sustained
at the Pusan beachhead...

[ Cracks neck ]

We shall all refrain
from making any sudden noises

in the 2,000 kilocycle range.

That means, do not...
I repeat...

do not rip the paper
from spiral notebooks.

Comprende?

Hmm.

Now... Can anyone
tell me the name

of this country's
"living document"?

Anyone?

No one?

Gruntner!

Um... Uh...

Good job.

Callio!

Uh... I'm not sure.

[ Chuckles ] Perfect.

"Carpazon."

Uh, that's Carpazian, sir.

What did you say?

Uh, it's not important.

The answer to the question...

Is the... Con... Sti...

Tu... Tion.

And speaking
of the constitution,

this might be a good time
to tell you

about meeting the 39th vice
President of the United States,

Spiro T. Agnew.

I was one of only 900 teachers

selected to have lunch
at the white house.

The real white house.

And there you had it.

It was pretty obvious

the man who was teaching us
all about freedom

was nothing
but a petty dictator.

And that's when we realized...

for the next five months,
we'd be held hostage

while this guy strutted
and preened

and perpetrated
his little power plays

and told and retold his
crowning life achievement...

meeting Spiro T. Agnew.

And then... During dessert...

which included a generous
portion of cherries jubilee...

the vice president himself
came over to my table,

shook my hand.

And do you know what he said?
Huh?

Of course we didn't.

Still, it seemed like
some kind of response

was called for here.

"I can't believe
I ate the whole thing"?

[ Laughter ]

I see.

And maybe right then
I should have known...

I... Was a dead man.

[ Bell rings ]

That's it, amigos.

Still, by the end of class,
I'd come up with a plan.

I figured I'd talk to the guy,
explain myself,

offer the old olive branch.

Mr. Bottner?

About your story
about Vice President Agnew?

Sorry I ruined it.

So?

So... I'll see you tomorrow?

You bet.

And that was that.
Piece of cake, right?

Wrong.

Okay, I'd learned
my first lesson.

In high school,
one had to be careful

when dealing
with authority figures.

[ Grunts ]

Hey, wart, looks like somebody
forgot to read

the scrote handbook.

Get out of my way, Wayne.

Sorry, Kev. Can't.
You're on the seal.

The sacred emblem
of our fine school.

So?

So? So only seniors are allowed
to walk on the seal.

Yeah, only seniors are allowed
to walk on the seal.

Now, coming from anyone else,
maybe I would have believed it.

But from these jokers?

That's crazy!
What kind of rule is that?

Kev. Kev, this seal
is an emblem for the school.

And protecting it
is a long-standing tradition

passed from one senior class
to the next.

Get out of my way, butt-breath.

Wha...

let me explain something
to you.

Maybe you were some kind
of hotshot in junior high,

but you're nothing here.

You're the lowest of the low,

the putridest of the putrid.

You're the stuff
that Mom sweeps out

from underneath
the refrigerator.

And we're in charge here.

And if we catch you
walking on the seal,

you get... The "boosh,"
the royal flush.

The boosh.

Not that I knew what that was.

Still, the terminology seemed
pretty self-explanatory.

Thanks for letting me know.

You're my brother.
I care about you.

[ Bell rings ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Cash register dings ]

Finally, something familiar...
lunch.

The trick was to desperately
look for someone to sit with

without anyone ever knowing
you were desperate.

And that's when I saw her.

Winnie... an oasis
in sea of strangers.

She looked so alone,
I thought I'd go over

and do the best I could
to console her.

Hi, Winnie.

Mind if we sit with you?

Me and half
the varsity football team.

Come on, Kevin.
You can squeeze in.

Uh, no, thanks.

See, I'm... I'm just gonna...
Walk around for a while,

and build up an appetite.

Okay?

I mean, hey,
I didn't need charity.

I could manage on my own.

Plenty of folks
I could sit with.

Good folks. Honest folks.

Folks like, say...

Mmh!

Hey, Kev!
Pretty neat cafeteria, huh?

Stuart.

Remember that time you got that
pencil stuck up in your nose?

Hmm?

I always had Stuart.

Huh? Oooh!

[ Bell rings ]

One French class,
one biology lab,

and three major
social gaffes later,

I was just about ready
to call it a day.

On the other hand...

All right, mis amigos.
This is study hall.

What you do in here is study.

You don't talk.
You don't doodle.

You keep your faces
in your books.

Comprende?

So, here are Bottner's rules.
Numero uno.

Oh, man.

Oops.

Arnold.

You have something to say?

No. I-I...

Oh, come on.
Share it with the class.

I'm sure it's pretty amusing,
your being such a funny guy.

Come on, Arnold.

Don't you think you're funny?

No. Not really.

Oh, sure you are.

You're a real Jos� Jim�nez.

I'm sure the rest of the class
wouldn't mind waiting,

even if we have to stay after
school to listen to your joke.

I'm sure it'll be worth it.

And as Bottner turned

an entire class
of 10th graders against me,

I realized something...
my nightmare had come true.

It was the first day
of high school,

and I was completely
and utterly alone.

[ Machine buzzing ]

After the first day
at McKinley, I was lost.

But as the week wore on,

the true significance of high
school became more clear to me.

Boy, you really flattened
that little kid back there.

That must have cost you
10 points.

I know, Stuart. I know.

For instance,

where else would they give you
a backseat driver

for driver education?
[ Tires screech ]

Boy, isn't high school great?

You know, they're gonna have
an assembly next week.

Stuart, we're coming up
on a 4-way stop sign, okay?

Can we cut the small talk?

- Well, yeah, sure...
- Stuart!

You might want to watch out
for that truck.

[ Horn honks ] - Whoa!

But traffic wasn't
my only problem.

Pathetic.

Fair.

Adequate.

Putrid.

Arnold.

You're gonna have to
do yours over.

Passable.

Marginal.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You have a comment?

Yeah. Why do I have to
do mine over again?

I'm glad you asked me
that question.

I can't read your writing.

Your margins are off.

And you didn't put the date
in the top right-hand corner.

Bottner's rules.

But I spent all night
on this report.

Now, that's funny.

[ Laughs ]

My ego was taking a beating.

So there was only one thing
to do.

Beat the pants off
my best friend at basketball.

3zip. Your ball.

I can count, Paul.

Ungrateful dork.

- Hey, what's bugging you?
- Nothing.

Let's play!

No way I was gonna to let
this bozo know I needed help.

I was gonna keep my emotions
to myself.

That sweatshirt makes you look
like a geek.

Yep, better I should
just insult the guy.

4zip.

I said I can count, okay?!

Okay, okay.

[ Grunts ]

[ Rim rattles, net swishes ]

No basket. Foul!

What do you mean, foul?

You charged.

I didn't touch you!

I'm taking it out of bounds.

No way!

Kev, a rule's a rule.

God, Paul. "A rule's a rule"?
You should hear yourself.

All I hear all day is rules!

Don't walk here,
don't... don't be late,

your margins are too wide,

don't talk, don't think,
don't breathe.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking about...
High school.

[ Exhales sharply ]

Junior high used to be so great,
and now...

Now we're like that stuff
underneath the refrigerator,

you know?

Okay, it just slipped out.

The way I saw it, I had a right
to expect a little sympathy,

a gesture of support.

I don't know.
I kind of like my prep school.

Really?

Really.

[ Ball bounces ]

[ Rim rattles, net swishes ]

5-zip.

So much for sympathy.

I hit the couch.

[ Exhales deeply ]

[ Grunts ]

It was the best conversation
I'd had in days.

[ Bell rings ]

Friday afternoon...
one week down, 600 to go.

- Kevin, wait up!
- Oh. Hi, Winnie.

- Where have you been?
- Around.

I'm sorry about lunch
the other day.

That's okay. No problem.

Are you all right?

Yeah!

I just expected this place
to be different, you know?

Give it some time.
It'll get better.

Trust me. It's gonna be great.

I'm going this way,
so I'll see you later, okay?

Okay.

And you know,
hearing that voice,

seeing that smile,

for one moment I actually felt
a little twinge of...

Oh, Kevie?

Absolute fear.

You get the boosh.

Hey! Hey!

[ Coughs ]

You heard it here.

I got the boosh.

Hey, Kev, wait up.

I wanted to know if you were going
to the football game tonight.

You know, afterwards, I hear they're gonna
toilet-paper Cheryl Manning's house.

- Go away, Stuart.
- You remember her.

You hit her in the head
with the tetherball once.

- Go away!
- Gee, Kev, your hair's all wet.

You know, speaking to you as
a friend, you should really...

look, Stuart, don't you get it?

We're not friends.

Just 'cause you sat behind me
in the fourth grade

doesn't mean we're friends.

We weren't even friends then!

So why don't you get someone
else to hang around with, okay?

'Cause I can't take it anymore.
You hear me?

And so it came down to this.

I had acted like an idiot,
blown up at the wrong guy,

and now...

My only hope was that
my government teacher was dead.

All right, here's the deal...

I just had to walk five blocks
out of my way

because some substitute
choral director

parked her pinto in my spot!

Comprende?!

On further consideration,
though,

death didn't seem
half good enough.

Therefore, I suggest you open
your notebooks and write me,

oh, let's say 500 words

on the meaning of property
rights in the U.S. constitution.

Just for fun.

And no talking.

Especially you, Arnold.

Me?!

Look, I never said any...

ahahah.

I said no talking.

Sorry, buddy.

You're on detention...
the whole week.

Let's move it, amigos!

And I don't know.

Maybe it was all that talk
about the constitution.

In any event, at that moment,
I made up my mind.

It was time for a declaration
of independence of my own.

[ Tearing echoes ]

Who did that?

It was you, Arnold, wasn't it?

But sitting there,
holding that paper,

I just didn't care anymore.

If I was alone, fine.
I'd go it alone.

[ Paper tears ]

Only suddenly...

I wasn't.

[ Paper tears ]

[ Paper tearing ]

Maybe it was futile, maybe not.

It really didn't matter.

For that one moment,
we'd found a common voice,

a common bond
against a common enemy.

And for that one moment,
it was a sweet victory.

That first week of high school,

as I watched our class
band together,

I realized something about
these strangers I'd just met,

strangers I hardly knew,

strangers who were
just like me...

we were all sharing the same
feelings, the same fears,

the same loneliness.

We were just starting out,

and there was
only one direction to go.

So we went... together.

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