Original subtitles

? What would you do if I sang out of tune? ?

? Would you stand up and walk out on me? ?

? Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song ?

? I will try not to sing out of key, yeah ?

? Oh, baby, I get by ? ? By with a little help from my friends ?

? All I need is my buddies ?

? High with a little help from my friends ?

? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? -? Try with a little help from my friends ?

- ? Whoa-oa-oa-oa, yeah ? - ? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?

Houston, we've got a preliminary...

The transition from summer to fall is a tricky one.

Like astronauts returning from space,

We had to re-enter the atmosphere of school carefully

So the sudden change in pressure wouldn't kill us.

[ applause ]

You brought 'em in beautifully.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Still, the beginning of eighth grade

Looked like it was gonna be a smooth landing.

We weren't the lowest men on the totem pole anymore.

We were men among seventh-grade boys.

More importantly, we were men among seventh-grade girls.

[ Bell rings ]

? A, b, c ?

? Easy as 1, 2, 3 ?

? Or simple as do, re, mi ?

? A, b, c ?

In social studies, we talked about Woodstock.

? Easy as 1, 2, 3 ?

And I could feel the love.

Men...

These... Are ropes.

In gym, we were introduced to the obvious.

? I'm gonna teach you how to sing it out ?

? Come on, come on, come on ?

? Let me show you what it's all about ?

? Reading, writing, arithmetic... ?

In French, Miss Martinson showed us slides

From her trip to Paris.

[ clears throat ] wrong slide.

Yep. Everything was looking A-Okay.

All systems go.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

Until fourth period.

Take your seats and open your textbooks

To unit one, page 16.

We will begin with the introduction to variables.

Who is this guy?

My name is Mr. Collins.

If we use a symbol, such as "x,"

To represent the unspecified member of the set...

So much for introductions.

In a Venn diagram,

"s" is the replacement symbol for the variable "x."

We'd never seen anything like him.

He was a math machine... all math, all the time,

With the chalk marks to prove it.

If the union of sets "s" and "t" is -2 and 0,

What is the intersection?

Faced with this implacable force,

We rose to the challenge.

Yes.

Mr. Collins,

How did you learn to draw such neat circles?

Each in our own way.

It is not necessary to draw perfect circles

To do these problems correctly.

It will not affect your grade either way.

But nothing distracted him.

Is this, like, stuff that you could use

To figure out Tom Seaver's earned run average?

Not the amazing Mets...

No. That would be simple arithmetic.

Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh!

Not even the cries of the tortured.

The answer is the set of -2 and 0.

[ Groans ]

We further illustrate...

We threw everything we had at him...

To describe the relationship between various...

Set "b"...

But we didn't have a chance.

Positive numbers.

Now, these numbers and their negatives in set "a"

Make up the set of rational numbers.

Psst! What page are we on?

No talking.

Any rational number...

Sheesh. I mean, come on.

Who died and made this guy king?

Yes?

Do you have a problem?

Um...

No.

[ Bell rings ]

For tomorrow, I would like you to do problems 1 through 10

On page 18.

[ Students groan ]

Boy, what's the story with this guy?

He's gonna kill us.

Nah, don't worry about him.

Sure, he looked tough, but I wasn't worried.

Come on. Let's go to lunch.

Not to brag or anything, but I was a pretty bright kid,

Compared to the competition.

Wayne, how was your first day in high school?

Huh?

With Wayne, that's about all my parents expected.

With me, they expected a little more.

Well, I had a good day.

English, French, math.

Face it... they were proud of me.

I guess it was kind of by default.

[ slurping ]

[ Burps ]

Well, got to go meet Delores.

Wait a minute. Not on a school night.

In this family, we do homework on school nights.

What about him?

What about him?

Well, he's not doing any homework.

Don't worry about Kevin.

When you're getting Kevin's grades, we'll talk.

Okay, sometimes it was a little embarrassing.

But it's not like there weren't responsibilities.

Yep. Wouldn't be a bad idea to bone up a little,

Start the year off with an ace.

Or maybe a "b."

B-plus, maybe.

[ violins shrieking ]

"D"?

These are the results of your pop quiz.

"D"?

It was horrible. I'd never gotten a "d" before,

Not even in penmanship.

[ bell rings ]

For homework... problems 15 through 25 on page 20.

There was only one possible explanation...

This had to be a mistake.

Kev, you coming to lunch?

In a minute. I have to talk to Collins.

Okay, but hurry up. Sloppy Joes today.

I had to handle this with a little tact.

Hi.

After all, the man was human.

Yes?

So much for that theory.

Um... I have a question about my quiz.

Yes?

About the grade.

Well, it's a "d."

Yes, it is.

Okay. We'd made a start.

Well, I... Think it might be wrong.

Well, let's take a look.

You're right.

There. That wasn't so hard.

Number 5 should be -1/2.

That's half off.

This is a d-.

[ Paper rustles ]

Thank you for calling that to my attention.

Oh.

Now wait a darn minute here!

Mr. Collins?

What?

Well... [ sighs ]

If you're having a problem,

I run a help group after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

This guy was getting entirely the wrong impression.

I had to nip this in the bud, and fast.

No, it... it's just that...

I don't think of myself as a "d" student.

Really?

Well, it's just that it's a little unusual,

Don't you think?

I mean, a quiz on the second day of school?

Oo-okay.

What I'm saying is that I... Wasn't as prepared

As I might have been.

Well, I don't think this is representative

Of the work I usually do.

Then I look forward to seeing your results on future quizzes.

Anything else?

No.

That's fine.

Sure. Fine.

Just fine.

If that's the way Collins wanted to play it.

Hitting the books, huh?

Yeah.

Mm. Well, go get 'em, tiger.

Sure, I'd get 'em.

Fact was, I hadn't really studied for that first quiz.

But now I was serious.

I'd show Collins what I was really made of.

[ violins shrieking ]

What?

This was nuts!

This was crazy! This was...

Another "d"!

What was going on here?

Was I losing my touch?

There had to be another answer.

Can you believe this guy? He's out of control!

I mean, what is his problem, anyway?

I mean, the man is brutal, Paul.

I mean, you see all this stuff he's giving us?

And those pop quizzes every day?

Explain this... how could it be a pop quiz

If there's one every day?

- I don't know. - Of course you don't know,

Because there's no logic to it.

I mean, what was that last stuff he was talking about,

That absolute value?

Half of the class didn't even know

What he was talking about!

I mean, what is an absolute value, anyway?

It's the value of a number without regard to its sign.

[ Bell dings ]

All right. Stupid example.

You're missing the point, Paul.

See, the point is that Collins is just driving us too hard.

I mean, we're all killing ourselves.

What's he gonna do? Give us all d's?

There's a certain look

That only a trusted friend can give you,

A look that says,

"you're about to make a total fool of yourself."

I was getting that look.

Paul?

Huh?

What'd you get on the quiz?

I forget.

It doesn't mean anything. I just got lucky.

Yeah.

Lucky you.

I'm gonna go get some dessert. You want some?

I wasn't hungry.

What I was was...

Worried.

[ knock on door ]

We're going out for ice cream. You want to come?

Um, no, thanks.

Got to study.

Gonna ace another one, huh?

Yeah.

Dad?

What?

Nothing.

Don't work too hard.

Right.

[ Door closes ]

Maybe I should have said something then.

But for some reason, I didn't.

How could I tell him

I wasn't the Kevin Arnold he thought I was?

[ sighs ]

The absolute value...

Of -1...

Is 1.

? One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do ?

2 = 0. That resolves to x-1.

And x-2 = 0, which gives us two solutions.

Do they have anything in common?

Over the next few days, things went from bad to worse.

Mr. Arnold?

Yes?

The intersection of sets "b" and "c."

Um...

X+4?

Incorrect.

Mr. Pfeiffer?

1 and 2.

Correct.

Expressed as sets, that means "x" represents the set...

The pressure was increasing.

How's everything going at school, sweetheart?

Uh... Fine.

I was living a lie.

And it was only a matter of time before I was found out.

Kevin?

If this pitcher of lemonade

Makes eight servings of 1 cup each,

How many servings will it make

If the cups are filled only 2/3 full?

Huh?

[ "The twilight zone" theme plays ]

Kevin! Do you want some lemonade?

Um, no, thanks.

Come on, honey. It's good for you.

Maybe.

But the fact was,

Lemonade wasn't going to solve my problems.

That afternoon,

I just happened to pass by Mr. Collins' classroom.

By accident, of course.

So, what was the big deal?

Maybe I'd drop in, get a few tips from the old help group.

Wait a minute.

This was the help group?

Jeff Bledsoe thought the Boston Tea Party

Was a dispute over cheese.

Frank Barnes had been in the eighth grade

Since the Eisenhower administration.

In the delicate ecosystem of junior high,

These guys were... well, let's face it...

Bottom-feeders.

Are you joining us?

Uh... No. [ Chuckles ]

I just... Left something in your class.

My pencil.

I'm giving a major test next week.

It would be a good opportunity for you to bring up your grade.

Yeah.

Well, uh, thanks for telling me,

But, uh... I really have to be going.

Sheesh.

Who did he think I was, some kind of...

Loser?

- Loser's ball. - [ Grunts ]

[ Grunts ]

Now I was feeling better.

150.

Want to play again?

No, thanks.

Why not?

I got to study for the test.

Ouch!

Oh, come on. One more game.

I can't.

Paul.

We could study together if you want.

What's that supposed to mean?

Nothing.

I don't need your charity, Paul.

That's not what I meant.

I don't need your help!

Fine!

So I'll see you.

All right, Mr. Mathlete.

Kevin.

Oh, I'm sorry, Paul, for not being as mathletic as you.

I mean, have you ever listened to yourself?

"Uh, the absolute value of 7 is, uh, 3."

Actually, it's 7.

Who cares?!

Paul, my life is not so boring that my only thrill is math.

What do you say to that, Mr. Wizard?

Good luck on the test tomorrow.

So what?

I didn't need Paul.

I didn't need anybody.

Put your books on the floor.

All I needed was... A miracle.

Your desks should be clear of everything but your pencils.

If only I could pull off a b-, or a "c."

Or a c-.

Okay.

Let's just take it slow and easy here.

From the top.

Question number one.

Hmm. Nothing familiar.

Well, just find a question you know how to do

And do that one first.

[ clears throat ]

Pay no attention to that.

Move right along to the next one.

[ heartbeat ]

It took about four minutes to attain...

Total panic.

[ clock ticking ] [ Breathing rapidly ]

[ Slowed ] question 3 should read 5x, not 5.

I was desperate.

I was a drowning man looking for anything to cling to.

Anything.

[ clock stops, heartbeat stops ]

And that's when I realized I'd sunk as low

As a person in eighth-grade algebra could sink.

[ bell rings ]

And then it was over.

Please turn in your exams.

[ Indistinct conversations ]

You don't need to grade it.

I got an "f."

I didn't answer any of the questions.

I-I don't understand math.

I'm... I'm lousy at it.

I...I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing!

Good.

Huh?

Maybe now you're ready to start.

Wait a minute.

I just told you... I failed!

There'll be another test in two weeks.

[ Door opens, closes ]

[ Sighs ]

I felt lost.

I felt confused.

I felt alone.

You okay, pal?

Kev?

No, Dad.

I'm not.

Multiplicative inverse property tells us

For each real nonzero number "a" there exists a real number, 1/a,

Such that a x 1/a = 1.

There are times in life when you think you're lost...

Kevin?

Can you simplify the quotient?

Um...

When every turn you take seems wrong.

1/5.

No.

Try again.

Then, just for a Moment...

You see a light.

Negative 1/5.

Correct.

Now, you can also simplify

Using the absolute value of factors.

And so I began that long climb into the light.

Only this time, I wasn't alone.

? Well, the sun is surely sinking down ?

? But the moon is slowly rising ?

? So this old world must still be spinning around ?

? And I still love you ?

? So close your eyes ?

? You can close your eyes ?

? It's all right ?

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