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1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:06,137
? What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ?
2
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:11,343
? Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ?
3
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:17,082
? Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ?
4
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:20,786
? I will try not to sing
out of key, yeah ?
5
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:24,956
? Oh, baby, I get by ?
? By with a little help from my friends ?
6
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,458
? All I need is my buddies ?
7
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,527
? High with a little help
from my friends ?
8
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:34,932
? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? -?
Try with a little help from my friends ?
9
00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:40,405
- ? Whoa-oa-oa-oa, yeah ?
- ? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?
10
00:00:41,908 --> 00:00:49,280
? Happy, happy birthday, baby ?
11
00:00:49,282 --> 00:00:50,448
? Although you're with... ?
12
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:52,217
When Paul and Iwere little kids,
13
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:56,087
We had our birthdaysonly four days apart.
14
00:00:56,089 --> 00:00:58,055
Come to think of it,we still have our birthdays
15
00:00:58,057 --> 00:00:59,791
Only four days apart.
16
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:02,193
But I guess birthdaysaren't as big a part of life
17
00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,995
As they used to be.
18
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:06,430
? Would find me beside you ?
19
00:01:06,432 --> 00:01:10,735
Man, we hadsome classic parties.
20
00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:15,139
Year after year, we reachedfor manhood together.
21
00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:18,343
? Baby ?
22
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:25,449
? No, I can't call you
my baby ?
23
00:01:25,451 --> 00:01:27,819
? Seems like years ago... ?
24
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,922
When we fell short,we fell short together.
25
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,990
God...
26
00:01:32,992 --> 00:01:34,426
We couldn't wait to get older.
27
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:39,597
? ...We fell in love ?
28
00:01:39,599 --> 00:01:43,635
So, what the hell's
a bar mitzvah, anyways?
29
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,470
It's a ceremony when
you become a man, stupid.
30
00:01:45,472 --> 00:01:47,305
A man? Pfeiffer? Ha ha!
31
00:01:47,307 --> 00:01:49,440
That's got to be the funniest
thing I've heard all day.
32
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:50,742
Steve, are you hearing this?
33
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,176
Pfeiffer's about to become
a man.
34
00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:53,478
What's so funny about that?
35
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,746
You're not a man until
you lose your virginity.
36
00:01:55,748 --> 00:01:57,515
That's right, so I'd say
you guys are little boys
37
00:01:57,517 --> 00:01:59,450
Until you're at least 45.
38
00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:01,352
Oh, I think that's optimistic.
39
00:02:01,354 --> 00:02:02,554
Well, I mean,
if you're actually
40
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,556
Talking about having sex
with another person.
41
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,991
Oh, shut up, Wayne!
You're just jealous.
42
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:08,426
Yeah, you're just jealous.
43
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:10,595
Jealous? Why?
Because you get to wear
44
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,931
One of those little beanies
on your head?
45
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:14,332
It's called a yarmulke!
46
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:17,668
And for your information, it
happens to be a very big deal!
47
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:18,636
I get to stand up in front
48
00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,271
Of all my friends
and my whole family
49
00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:22,440
And say prayers and make
this big speech and stuff.
50
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:25,142
A speech? A speech?!
51
00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:27,845
Well, now I'm jealous.
Now I'm jealous.
52
00:02:27,847 --> 00:02:29,247
[ Sighs ]
53
00:02:29,249 --> 00:02:31,115
And then we have
this huge party.
54
00:02:31,117 --> 00:02:32,584
Oh, I've heard
of those Pfeiffer parties.
55
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:33,885
Very hot. Very hot.
56
00:02:33,887 --> 00:02:35,453
Catered, with all
you can eat and drink.
57
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:36,454
Ooh.
58
00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:37,622
And hundreds of guests
59
00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:38,890
And all the girls
I want to invite.
60
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,525
Make sure you keep 'em
on a leash, now.
61
00:02:40,527 --> 00:02:41,659
And a band.
62
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:42,994
A live band?
63
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,496
And tons of presents.
64
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,798
Well, if you figure
a hundred people...
65
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,533
And they each bring one...
66
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:51,403
You're really gonna get
a hundred presents?
67
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,738
Yeah, of course, and that's
not including the money.
68
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,440
Like how much money?
69
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:57,675
It's no set amount,
but I'd say...
70
00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,477
Mm, maybe a thousand bucks.
71
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:01,178
Did he say...
72
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:03,080
A thousand bucks?
73
00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:05,617
You got to be crazy.
I'm not gonna pay that.
74
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:07,184
Well, let me talk
to the mechanic.
75
00:03:07,186 --> 00:03:08,853
Yeah, yeah. I'll hold.
76
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,756
So, what are you and Paul gonna
do for your birthday this year?
77
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:14,125
Nothing, I guess.
78
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,127
Paul's having his bar mitzvah.
79
00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,530
It's not thatI was jealous of Paul.
80
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,698
It's not that I wasfeeling sorry for myself.
81
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,233
It's just...
82
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:25,403
Maybe there was a minibikein this for me somewhere.
83
00:03:25,405 --> 00:03:27,305
That's right. I forgot.
84
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:29,274
Well, what are we gonna do
about your birthday?
85
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:31,042
I don't know.
86
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,743
Well, it has to be
something good.
87
00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,779
You're turning 13.
It's a big one.
88
00:03:34,781 --> 00:03:37,749
I guess.
89
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:40,618
Just not the same
without Paul, huh?
90
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,120
Either that,or it's just not the same
91
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,956
Without a hundred presentsand a live band...
92
00:03:44,958 --> 00:03:47,291
Aww, honey.
93
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,460
Okay. Good, good.
94
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,563
You got herright where you want her.
95
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,431
Now hit herwith the trump card.
96
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:57,502
Well, I'm not sure I even want
to do anything this year.
97
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,737
The martyr routine.
98
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:02,273
I mean, unless some...
99
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,609
$500?!
100
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,677
Since when does
an alternator cost $500?
101
00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:08,846
Well, what the hell
does the transmission
102
00:04:08,848 --> 00:04:10,281
Have to do with this?
103
00:04:10,283 --> 00:04:12,716
Like I was saying,
unless we could do like...
104
00:04:12,718 --> 00:04:15,019
Look, just don't touch
my car, all right?
105
00:04:15,021 --> 00:04:17,188
Leave it just like you found it!
106
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,357
I'll be right down.
107
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:20,792
Better grab your coat.
108
00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,629
I'll need a ride
down to the garage.
109
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:26,230
- Don't worry, hon.
- [ Clears throat ]
110
00:04:26,232 --> 00:04:29,233
We're gonna do something fun
for your birthday.
111
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:31,969
Right, jack?
Yeah, how about we get Kevin
112
00:04:31,971 --> 00:04:34,051
A brand-new alternator
for his birthday?
113
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,343
Have some more chicken, Kevin.
114
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:40,678
I made it especially for you.
115
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:44,248
That's right. That's why
it's called Chicken Kiev-in.
116
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,050
[ laughter ]
117
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:49,554
Dinner at the Pfeiffer's'.It was always an experience.
118
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:50,788
Okay, Kevin...
119
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,423
What's that say?
120
00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:54,125
Alvin Pfeiffer, optometrist.
121
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:58,530
I think I was the only personhe knew with 20/20 vision.
122
00:04:58,532 --> 00:04:59,864
He loved me.
123
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:01,799
- "ketchup."
- Incredible.
124
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,535
What a kid, huh? What a kid!
125
00:05:04,537 --> 00:05:06,337
Al, leave him alone.
He's eating.
126
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,838
Some more potatoes, Kevin?
127
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:10,775
Ida Pfeiffer,Mom extraordinaire.
128
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:12,977
I think I wasthe only person she knew
129
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,246
Who really likedher scalloped potatoes.
130
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,681
She loved me.
131
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,115
Debbie, don't slouch.
132
00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:20,084
And get your elbows
off the table, please.
133
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,886
I just put that down fresh.
134
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,655
Debbie Pfeiffer,Paul's little sister.
135
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:25,990
The only girl I ever knew
136
00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:30,195
To whom I was her conceptof the ideal male form.
137
00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:32,029
She really loved me.
138
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:34,466
[ clears throat ] uh, great
chicken, Mrs. Pfeiffer.
139
00:05:34,468 --> 00:05:35,834
Chicken.
140
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:38,703
That reminds me of a story.
141
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:40,004
[ Children groan ]
142
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,772
And grandpa Pfeiffer.
143
00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:43,374
He had a thousand stories,
144
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:44,642
And I was the only person
145
00:05:44,644 --> 00:05:48,278
Who hadn't heard them alla thousand times.
146
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:49,481
And so, of course...
147
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:52,183
Kevin, when I was your age...
148
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,918
He loved me.
149
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,854
Like my grandson to your right,
150
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,723
I, too, had a bar mitzvah.
151
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:01,826
Cousin Heshy,
cousin Moshe, and myself.
152
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,628
And we were very poor,
153
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:08,065
So all these fancy-shmancy gifts
that you kids get today...
154
00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:10,201
They weren't around.
155
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,036
So, do you know
156
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:15,373
What I got for my bar mitzvah,
157
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,942
My entrance into manhood?
158
00:06:17,944 --> 00:06:19,344
A chicken!
159
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:21,145
That's right! A chicken!
160
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:23,181
It doesn't sound like much,
161
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:26,317
But in those days
it was like gold.
162
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:28,285
So, I took this chicken,
163
00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:30,955
And I put him on some hay
outside the shul.
164
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:33,358
And then I started on my baruch.
165
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:36,927
I was very, very nervous,
let me tell you.
166
00:06:36,929 --> 00:06:39,697
Sweat pouring from
every part of my body.
167
00:06:39,699 --> 00:06:40,898
Oh, Dad. Dad. Dad!
168
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:44,501
I was standing up there,
doing my thing.
169
00:06:44,503 --> 00:06:47,305
In walks the chicken.
170
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:50,141
Right in front of the bima.
171
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:53,978
Sits down, starts to cluck.
172
00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:57,648
And [pops lips]
out pops an egg!
173
00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:59,283
You must have been really mad.
174
00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:01,619
Mad? No, no, no.
175
00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:04,021
I had no right to be mad.
176
00:07:04,023 --> 00:07:08,392
It was my bar mitzvah gift,
and as my father always said...
177
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:11,796
Never look
a gift chicken in the mouth!
178
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:15,532
My family is so weird.
179
00:07:15,534 --> 00:07:18,669
Oh, this is a great occasion.
180
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,571
My family is here,
181
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:23,474
My grandson's friend is here.
182
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:24,843
So, Paul, tell me...
183
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,010
Yeah?
184
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,712
You studied hard?
185
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:28,579
Yeah.
186
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,214
You know all your prayers?
187
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,549
Mmhmm.
188
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:37,554
Then, I have something for you.
189
00:07:37,556 --> 00:07:38,856
I wondered what it would be.
190
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:42,460
Money? Stock options?His own car?
191
00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:50,201
The prayer book that I used
to deliver my Baruch...
192
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:54,472
On that fateful night
of the chicken.
193
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:58,343
My grandfather gave it to me.
194
00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:00,178
And tonight...
195
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,248
I wish to give it to you.
196
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:07,151
Wow!
197
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,488
Pop, he'll get stains
all over it.
198
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,324
Can't this wait until we clear
the table at least?
199
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,993
No, it cannot.
200
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,463
My grandson...
201
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:25,169
You are on the verge
of becoming a man.
202
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:30,073
You are about to inherit
the love, the joy...
203
00:08:30,075 --> 00:08:31,642
The bitterness of our people,
204
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,177
The tradition.
205
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:40,451
From my grandfather,
to my father...
206
00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:41,953
To me...
207
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,055
To my son...
208
00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:47,925
And now to you.
209
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:59,470
Mazel tov.
210
00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:02,339
2,000 bucks for a '66 impala?
211
00:09:02,341 --> 00:09:03,807
That's a joke.
212
00:09:05,678 --> 00:09:09,546
Maybe it was the glow ofthe half-glass of Manischewitz,
213
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:12,417
But I felt a sudden rushof family pride.
214
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:15,052
I mean, my familyhad a rich tradition, too.
215
00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:17,789
All I had to dowas figure out what it was.
216
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,223
Dad?
217
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,524
Hmm?
218
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:21,792
Where's grandpa Arnold from?
219
00:09:21,794 --> 00:09:25,763
Look at that. Highway robbery.
220
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:27,131
What'd you say?
221
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,968
I said, um, where did
grandpa Arnold come from?
222
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,335
Newark.
223
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:32,804
You know, one of these days
I'm just gonna
224
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:36,273
Get rid of the damn cars and
we'll all take the damn bus.
225
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:39,677
Well, like I was saying...
226
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:40,911
Mom?
227
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,046
Yeah?
228
00:09:42,048 --> 00:09:44,114
I was just thinking
about something.
229
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:45,449
Mmhmm?
230
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:48,119
Oh. I-i don't know.
231
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:51,823
See, um, I was over at Paul's
house tonight for dinner.
232
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:55,493
And, see, grandpa Pfeiffer
was telling all these stories
233
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:57,161
About his bar mitzvah
234
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:59,763
And when he lived in Russia
and everything,
235
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,800
And, um, I started
thinking about our family,
236
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,434
And I w...
[ garbage disposal grinding ]
237
00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:06,036
[ Loudly ]
Is it some kind of law
238
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:07,805
That they have to runthe garbage disposal
239
00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:09,874
At critical Momentsof psychological development?!
240
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:11,275
Mom?!
241
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,643
[ Grindings stops ] - yeah?
242
00:10:12,645 --> 00:10:16,747
Ii was just asking you about
where our family came from.
243
00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:19,550
I mean, what are we?
244
00:10:19,552 --> 00:10:21,919
What are we?
245
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:24,522
Yeah, you know,
like, Paul's Jewish,
246
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:27,658
And Winnie's Irish,
so, what are we?
247
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:29,693
Oh, well, gosh, Kevin,
248
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:31,728
That's kind of hard to...
249
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,297
Well, let me... let me see.
250
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,565
Jack's mother is Italian.
251
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,434
Well, actually,
she's half-Italian
252
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,901
'cause her mother's Romanian.
253
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:41,705
And then, his father's polish.
Pretty sure about that.
254
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:44,975
Then, my great-grandfather
came over from Scandinavia.
255
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:46,778
He came over a long time ago
256
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,712
And married
my great-grandmother,
257
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:50,214
Whose parents were welsh.
258
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,049
But, of course,
she grew up in Ohio
259
00:10:52,051 --> 00:10:53,651
Before they moved to Detroit.
260
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:56,019
And as my mother triedto put together the strands
261
00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:58,689
Of our old and fadedfamily tree,
262
00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:01,225
I came to realizewhat so many Americans do
263
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:02,793
In search of their roots...
264
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:04,628
Or was it Norway?
265
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:07,731
I was a mutt.
266
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:10,334
So, the invitations
are going out today!
267
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,203
Oh, yeah. I forgot.
268
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:13,670
I have one for you.
269
00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:15,540
- Special delivery!
- Thanks.
270
00:11:15,542 --> 00:11:18,242
There's gonna be so many babes at
this thing you wouldn't believe it.
271
00:11:18,244 --> 00:11:19,576
I'm inviting Sandy McClouskey,
272
00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:21,012
Jodie hart,
and Christine Capone.
273
00:11:21,014 --> 00:11:23,414
And I'm gonna make sure the band
plays plenty of slow songs.
274
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,448
[ Both laugh ]
275
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:25,783
Ahem!
276
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:29,487
"Please share our joy,
as our son, Paul Joshua,
277
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:33,190
Is called to the Torah
on Saturday, march eight..."
278
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,129
Wait a minute.
279
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:39,930
It's on the 18th?
280
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:43,134
Well, yeah,
I thought you knew that.
281
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,071
Yeah, but...
That's my birthday.
282
00:11:48,274 --> 00:11:49,907
Yeah, I know, but...
283
00:11:49,909 --> 00:11:52,743
Yyyou didn't tell me
it was on the 18th.
284
00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:54,779
Yes, I did. It's supposed to
be on the first Saturday
285
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:55,980
After I turn 13.
286
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,381
I told you that.
287
00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,017
Yeah, but I didn't realize...
288
00:12:00,019 --> 00:12:01,719
I didn't pick for it to be
on that day or anything.
289
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,354
It's just that's when
it's supposed to be.
290
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:05,656
Ii know.
291
00:12:05,658 --> 00:12:07,591
I mean, I'd change it
if I could,
292
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:10,495
But, I mean, you know,
it's, like, really important.
293
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,830
It's like...
it's like tradition.
294
00:12:12,832 --> 00:12:14,998
[ Sighs ]
295
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,401
You're not mad, are you?
296
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:20,404
Well... No, I'm not mad.
297
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:24,207
It's just I-I'm not gonna
be able to come, is all.
298
00:12:24,209 --> 00:12:26,443
You're not?
299
00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:28,845
Well, no.
300
00:12:28,847 --> 00:12:31,448
I mean, my parents have
this whole, big, huge thing
301
00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:33,117
Planned for my birthday.
302
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:37,187
Not even for the ceremony?
303
00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:39,289
Well, Paul, I can't help it
304
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,759
If you're having your stupid
bar mitzvah on my birthday!
305
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,694
I mean, I'm really sorry
to tell you this,
306
00:12:43,696 --> 00:12:45,977
But you're not the center
of the whole stupid world!
307
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,505
? Happy birthday ?
308
00:12:55,507 --> 00:12:58,408
? to me ?
309
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:04,982
Wrench.
310
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:10,754
No, not the crescent.
The three-quarter.
311
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:13,490
[ Wrench cranks ]
312
00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:15,625
- Here.
- Kevin, honey?
313
00:13:15,627 --> 00:13:17,261
Paul's on the phone. Again.
314
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:18,562
Just tell him I'm busy!
315
00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:20,030
It's the third time he called.
316
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,532
Well, I don't want
to talk to him.
317
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,868
I'm helping Dad!
318
00:13:23,870 --> 00:13:28,172
I guess the old guy must havesensed something was wrong.
319
00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:29,173
Go ahead, Dad, ask.
320
00:13:29,175 --> 00:13:30,908
"I haven't seen Paularound lately.
321
00:13:30,910 --> 00:13:32,710
You two having a fightor something?"
322
00:13:32,712 --> 00:13:33,911
Screwdriver.
323
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,980
Okay, so he didn't sense it.
324
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:39,349
I mean, what did I expect?The man wasn't a mind-reader.
325
00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:41,285
I'd just tell himwhat was bothering me.
326
00:13:41,287 --> 00:13:43,720
We aren't really talking
to each other these days.
327
00:13:43,722 --> 00:13:45,690
- Huh?
- Paul and me.
328
00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:47,357
We aren't really
talking to each other.
329
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:49,226
Oh.
330
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:51,962
So, you know, I'm not gonna be
going to his stupid bar mitzvah.
331
00:13:51,964 --> 00:13:53,730
You don't say...
332
00:13:53,732 --> 00:13:55,833
It's on the same day
as my birthday.
333
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,902
[ Scoffs ] my 13th birthday.
334
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,670
Can you believe it?
335
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,039
I mean, the whole point
of a bar mitzvah
336
00:14:02,041 --> 00:14:03,674
Is so dumb, anyways.
337
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,443
I mean, he's only 13 years old,
338
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,812
And everyone's telling him
that he's a man.
339
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:09,914
[ Scoffs ]
and that's really stupid.
340
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:13,049
I mean, he's just a little kid,
don't you think?
341
00:14:13,051 --> 00:14:14,318
Dad?
342
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,219
[ Wrench cranks ] - huh?
343
00:14:16,221 --> 00:14:18,261
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's pretty stupid.
344
00:14:22,461 --> 00:14:23,727
Dad?
345
00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:25,029
Huh?
346
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:27,798
When did you first learn
to work on cars?
347
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,066
I don't know.
348
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:31,468
It's just something I picked up
along the way, I guess.
349
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:33,704
[ Dog barks ]
350
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,073
Was grandpa good
at working on cars?
351
00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:39,343
Oh, sure. I guess I learned
mostly from him.
352
00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:46,684
The fan belt
looks a little loose.
353
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,420
Huh?
354
00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:51,021
You know, you're right.
355
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:52,756
It's half-rotten.
356
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:54,559
I don't know why I didn't
think to check that.
357
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,427
Hey, look, there's
an extra fan belt in the toolbox.
358
00:14:57,429 --> 00:15:00,197
Why don't you help me
try to put it on?
359
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:02,800
Okay!
360
00:15:04,870 --> 00:15:07,705
As I worked on the carwith my father,
361
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:11,075
I began to realize whatI'd been looking for all along.
362
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,343
I just needed recognition,
363
00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:16,847
Something to tell methat I was growing up.
364
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:19,984
- Go ahead. All right.
- Okay.
365
00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:22,420
That's good. Hey, Wayne!
366
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:24,255
Get out here and start the car!
367
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,555
Ii can do it!
368
00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:28,358
No, I don't think so, Kev.
You're not tall enough.
369
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,461
Here, start it up nice and easy.
Yes, I am!
370
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,365
Step aside, little sprout.
371
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:36,066
Don't give it too much gas
till I tell you.
372
00:15:36,068 --> 00:15:38,269
I don't want
to flood the engine.
373
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,505
The story of my 12-and-three-quarter-
year-old life.
374
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:43,207
As much a man as the next guy
375
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:44,909
Until the cardswere on the table.
376
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:45,910
[ engine sputters ]
377
00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:46,777
Then it's a fine"how do you do,"
378
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,112
A "pat him on the head," and...
379
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:50,047
Damn it, Kevin! Get the hell
away from that engine!
380
00:15:50,049 --> 00:15:51,815
That thing
will take your hand off!
381
00:15:51,817 --> 00:15:53,450
[ Engine sputters ]
382
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,685
[ Banging ]
383
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:56,320
Not anymore.
384
00:16:03,262 --> 00:16:08,332
? Happy birthday, dear Kevin ?
385
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:10,800
? Happy birthday to you ?
386
00:16:10,802 --> 00:16:15,038
? And you smell
like one, too, yay ?
387
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,475
Well, my entranceinto the teen years.
388
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:19,443
The big 1-3.
389
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:21,846
Could it getany sweeter than this?
390
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:24,481
Darn! Your Dad wanted
to have the car back in time
391
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:27,818
For the party so we could
all go for a ride after.
392
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:30,887
Yep... Paul gets a bandand a thousand bucks...
393
00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:34,725
And I get a ride in an impalawith a new fuel pump.
394
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:37,594
Well, why don't we just start?
He'll be along.
395
00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:41,065
Here. Open mine first.
396
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,900
[ Paper rustling ]
397
00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:45,602
A poem.
398
00:16:45,604 --> 00:16:47,505
Here. I'll read it out loud.
399
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:49,806
It's called "the pain of youth."
400
00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:52,276
The pain of youth...
401
00:16:52,278 --> 00:16:54,545
All its slings and arrows...
402
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:56,947
Stands breathless, facing time.
403
00:16:56,949 --> 00:17:00,250
Edging its way
to the rim of the nest.
404
00:17:00,252 --> 00:17:03,987
He is pushed, left to fall.
405
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:05,122
Fall.
406
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:07,157
[ Vehicle approaches ]
fall to the earth.
407
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:10,260
And break, writhing in pain.
408
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:12,896
[ Horn honks ]
oops! [ Chuckles ]
409
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:17,201
That's my ride. I got to go.
Happy birthday, Kev.
410
00:17:19,304 --> 00:17:21,304
Why don't you open
the rest of your presents?
411
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,740
Yeah, presents.
412
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:25,242
Who needed a rite of passage?
413
00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:27,177
Who needed a father's support?
414
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:28,946
I had...
415
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,580
A turtleneck.
416
00:17:30,582 --> 00:17:31,982
A bathrobe.
417
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,450
A wallet.
418
00:17:33,452 --> 00:17:35,886
- And finally...
- A thesaurus.
419
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,221
Well, I just thought when you were
writing a term paper or something,
420
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,223
And you wanted to say something
is "good," for example,
421
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,058
Well, then
you just turn to "good"
422
00:17:42,060 --> 00:17:44,027
And you can say "considerate,"
423
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:46,296
"unblemished," or "pure."
424
00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:50,568
Any synonyms for "extremelydisappointed" in there?
425
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:54,438
[ Simon & Garfunkel's
"bookends theme" plays ]
426
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:38,282
[ Man singing in Hebrew ]
427
00:18:51,697 --> 00:18:53,897
[ Singing in Hebrew ]
428
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,768
[ All singing ]
429
00:19:00,405 --> 00:19:03,407
[ Singing ]
430
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:23,794
? Amen ?
431
00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:33,203
[ Simon & Garfunkel's
"bookends theme" plays ]
432
00:19:39,412 --> 00:19:41,745
[ Singing ]
433
00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:08,338
? Yummy, yummy, yummy,
I got love in my tummy ?
434
00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:11,541
? And I feel like
I'm lovin' you ?
435
00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:14,044
? Love, you're such
a sweet thing ?
436
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:15,646
? Good-enough-to-eat thing ?
437
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:19,783
? And that's just
what I'm gonna do ?
438
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:23,020
? Ooh, love to hold ya,
ooh, love to kiss ya ?
439
00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:28,458
? Ooh, love, I love it so ?
440
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:31,395
? Ooh, love, you're sweeter,
sweeter than sugar ?
441
00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:33,464
I'll be right back.
442
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:35,498
? I won't let you go ?
443
00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:37,968
Hi!
444
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:39,102
Hi.
445
00:20:39,104 --> 00:20:40,337
Thanks for coming.
446
00:20:40,339 --> 00:20:42,539
Sorry I was so late.
447
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:43,640
That's okay.
448
00:20:43,642 --> 00:20:45,776
I felt like such a jerk
up there.
449
00:20:45,778 --> 00:20:48,011
No. You were good.
450
00:20:48,013 --> 00:20:50,247
You had this big thing
hanging from your nose,
451
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,583
But you were good.
Stop it, butthead.
452
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:53,850
- [ laughs ]
- Hey, Paul!
453
00:20:53,852 --> 00:20:55,318
Come on over here!
Come on. Dance now.
454
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:56,653
- Come on!
- What?
455
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:57,888
Just come on!
456
00:20:57,890 --> 00:21:00,056
[ "Have Nagila" plays ]
457
00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:21,211
And so it turned out to bea great birthday after all.
458
00:21:21,213 --> 00:21:24,681
I slow-dancedwith Paul's Aunt Selma.
459
00:21:24,683 --> 00:21:27,918
I ate more than Mrs. Pfeiffercould have dreamed possible.
460
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:31,822
And in a funny way,when I look back on it,
461
00:21:31,824 --> 00:21:36,159
I sort of feel likeit was my bar mitzvah, too.
462
00:21:38,030 --> 00:21:41,832
[ Simon & Garfunkel's
"Bookends Theme" plays ]
463
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:58,815
? Time it was,
and what a time it was, it was ?
464
00:22:00,318 --> 00:22:03,921
? A time of innocence ?
465
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:09,158
? A time of confidences ?
466
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:12,930
? Long ago, it must be ?
467
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:16,332
? I have a photograph ?
468
00:22:16,334 --> 00:22:19,335
? Preserve your memories ?
469
00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:23,073
? They're all that's left you ?
470
00:22:23,123 --> 00:22:27,673
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