All language subtitles for The Wonder Years s02e03 Christmas.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:06,137 ? What would you do if I sang out of tune? ? 2 00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:11,343 ? Would you stand up and walk out on me? ? 3 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:17,082 ? Lend me your ears, and I'll sing you a song ? 4 00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:20,786 ? I will try not to sing out of key, yeah ? 5 00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:24,956 ? Oh, baby, I get by ? ? By with a little help from my friends ? 6 00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,458 ? All I need is my buddies ? 7 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,527 ? High with a little help from my friends ? 8 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:34,932 ? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? -? Try with a little help from my friends ? 9 00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:40,405 - ? Whoa-oa-oa-oa, yeah ? - ? Ooh, ooh, ooh ? 10 00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:49,614 ?Silent night? 11 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:54,218 ? Holy night ? 12 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:58,890 ? All is calm ? That Christmas of 1968, 13 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,058 My brother, Wayne, and I fell in love... ? All is bright ? 14 00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:03,227 With color TV. 15 00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:07,665 ?'round yon virgin? 16 00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:10,568 - It was more than love. It was lust. -? Mother and child ? 17 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,970 We were witnessing a modern miracle, 18 00:01:12,972 --> 00:01:14,839 And we worshiped it like aborigines... ? Holy infant ? 19 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,841 From the black-and-white stone age. 20 00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:19,344 ?so tender and mild?-It was the first thing we'd ever agreed on. 21 00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,879 - Cool. - Boss. 22 00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:25,684 ?Sleep in heavenly peace?-Even Mom and Karen tended to mist up 23 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:29,120 In the presence of all that almost-living color. 24 00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:31,356 - Hello. Can I help you? - Oh. 25 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:34,425 ?Sleep in heavenly peace?-Yeah, load a dozen of these babies into the car. 26 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,294 And make it snappy. 27 00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:37,895 Well... 28 00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:42,800 Unfortunately, there was one very small, very minor hitch. 29 00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,769 You'd really have to talk to my husband. 30 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,437 You got to be joking. 31 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,473 8 bucks for a crummy, little stick like this? 32 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:49,574 A buck a foot. 33 00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:50,875 That's highway robbery. 34 00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:52,877 Not that my father was scrooge. 35 00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:55,613 It's just that, every year around this time, 36 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:58,250 He'd... he'd go into kind of a... Slump. 37 00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:01,152 Next year, we're gonna skip the damn tree. 38 00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:02,987 It was a bad time to be hitting him up 39 00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:04,055 For a major appliance. 40 00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:06,457 Still, in an emergency, 41 00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,260 There were ways to the big guy's heart. 42 00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:11,162 Here, let me help you with that, Dad. 43 00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,230 You had to kill him with kindness, 44 00:02:13,232 --> 00:02:15,066 Drown him in goodwill... 45 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,634 Hey, I got it! 46 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:20,905 All the while, sending him very specific psychic messages. 47 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:25,543 TV, TV, TV, TV, TV, TV. 48 00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:27,245 You okay? 49 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:29,781 - Sure. Why? - Looks like you got a headache. 50 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,951 Of course, you didn't want to tip your hand. 51 00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:36,321 This was a delicate procedure that required the touch... 52 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,290 So, Dad, you gonna buy us that color TV or not? 53 00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,292 Of a sledgehammer. 54 00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,661 What TV? 55 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,429 He didn't tell you? 56 00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:46,531 Uh... 57 00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,232 What do we need a color TV for? 58 00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:50,234 So you can watch things. 59 00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:51,870 In color! 60 00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:52,637 Watch what? 61 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,071 "Bonanza." 62 00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,506 Baseball... 63 00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,074 Football... 64 00:02:57,076 --> 00:02:57,876 Uh... 65 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,410 Baseball. 66 00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:02,347 TVs cost money, kids. 67 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,981 Uh-oh. 68 00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:06,384 And money doesn't grow on trees. You know that. 69 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,085 Yeah, we did know that. 70 00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:09,788 If there was one thing we knew, 71 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:12,690 It was that money doesn't grow on trees. 72 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,125 Come on, get in! 73 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,660 Still, he hadn't specifically said no, 74 00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:18,429 So there was still hope. 75 00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,899 After all, Christmas was a time 76 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,468 When impossible dreams came true... 77 00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,436 When the Grinch turned good. 78 00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:26,804 So, just maybe... 79 00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:29,007 A buck a foot. You believe that? 80 00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,508 Highway robbery. 81 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,210 Or maybe not. 82 00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,548 Few things in life are less productive 83 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:40,018 Than the last 10 minutes of school before a major vacation. 84 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:45,356 Maintenant, tournez � page 67, s'il vous pla�t. 85 00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,192 Alors, Guillaume? 86 00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:54,932 Uh... 87 00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:58,836 Je pense que... 88 00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:01,239 Um... 89 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,940 Le... 90 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,609 [ tick! ] 91 00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,112 Oh, well. 92 00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:10,448 Joyeux Noel, everyone. 93 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,850 [ Bell rings ] 94 00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:16,387 [ Indistinct shouting, cheering ] 95 00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:18,189 I mean on average. 96 00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,957 Counting socks and underwear? 97 00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:21,125 Total annual tonnage. 98 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:23,060 See, well, I thought we were talking quality, 99 00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:24,161 Not quantity. 100 00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:25,463 Oh, come on, Paul. 101 00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,498 I mean, you get Hanukkah presents every day for a week. 102 00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,233 Paul and I had a standing argument 103 00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:31,268 Over who made out better on the holidays. 104 00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,470 Paul's lasted eight days, 105 00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,204 Which I thought gave him the edge. 106 00:04:34,206 --> 00:04:36,140 Well, let's see. I'll give you an example. 107 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,476 What's the one thing you really want for Christmas? 108 00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:39,977 What's that got to do with it? 109 00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:41,713 Just answer the question. 110 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,547 What did I want? 111 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:45,850 What would make things absolutely perfect? 112 00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,221 ? Dada-da ? 113 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,558 ? Da-da-da ? 114 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,963 ? Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh ? 115 00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,834 ? Da-da-da ? 116 00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:08,373 ? Da-da-da ? 117 00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,774 ? Ahh... ? 118 00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:12,109 [ Tempo decreases, music stops ] 119 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,680 A TV. 120 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,415 I guess I want a color TV. 121 00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:18,482 Kevin? 122 00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,551 She was alone. 123 00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:22,987 She was wearing perfume. 124 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,221 Hi. 125 00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:26,457 Hi. I wanted to give you this. 126 00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:27,859 What is it? 127 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,661 It's a present. 128 00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:33,398 Sure. I knew that. 129 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,467 I wanted to tear it open with my teeth. 130 00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:37,668 But don't open it till Christmas. 131 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:38,770 Okay? 132 00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,805 Of course not. 133 00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:43,408 A thousand thoughts were barreling through my head, 134 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,910 A million questions, a billion... 135 00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,412 Well, see ya. 136 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,613 Wait. Stop her! Stop her! 137 00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,816 Uh, I-i got something for you, too. 138 00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:55,153 Good. A lie, but a-a good lie. 139 00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,122 I just... 140 00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,556 Don't have it with me. 141 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,758 Oh, that's okay. You don't have to. 142 00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,561 Maybe I can bring it to your house? 143 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,863 I guess so. 144 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,498 Then I'll see ya. 145 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,733 In a matter of seconds, 146 00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:11,335 My whole life had been bent into a question mark. 147 00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,404 - What did this mean? - Hi. 148 00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:15,639 Was it a message? [ Indistinct conversation ] 149 00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:16,874 One thing I was sure of... 150 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:20,244 Winnie Cooper had never smelled better. 151 00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:21,712 You're dreaming. 152 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,447 Huh? 153 00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,683 You're never gonna get a color TV. 154 00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:26,985 Hammer. 155 00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,486 Maybe Paul was right. 156 00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:31,522 The great color-TV campaign was sputtering. 157 00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,023 Dad was a rock. 158 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:35,092 The situation was getting desperate. 159 00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:36,494 So was Wayne. 160 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:39,330 Honey, you haven't been peeking in the closets, have you? 161 00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,565 Screwdriver. 162 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,066 [ Gasps ] 163 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,903 Oh, look, everybody, it's the little bird in the cage! -Aw! 164 00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,104 Remember, Daddy? 165 00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,506 Uh-oh. Holiday traditions. 166 00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:50,774 My family was honeycombed with them. Oh! 167 00:06:50,776 --> 00:06:53,610 You know who gave this to us? Uncle mike. 168 00:06:53,612 --> 00:06:54,712 Your uncle mike. 169 00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:57,681 He used to say that it reminded him 170 00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,563 Of the only girl he ever loved. 171 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,220 Pliers. 172 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,188 I hated those old stories. 173 00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:05,957 There was a reason. 174 00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:07,392 You know what I'm remembering? 175 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:08,659 And here it came. 176 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:11,863 The year Kevin played Santa in the school pageant. 177 00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,130 Ugh! 178 00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:14,832 Mom, look, you don't have to right now. It's... 179 00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:17,535 I know, but you were so cute, 180 00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,003 The way you came waddling in, 181 00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,672 Just like a bowl full of jelly. 182 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,974 Yeah, with his pants almost falling off. 183 00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,542 Had these people no mercy? 184 00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,277 He was pretty cute. 185 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,145 Wait a minute. 186 00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:30,948 Was that a smile on the old man's face? 187 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,017 An actual smile? 188 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:36,086 We'd caught him off guard. Now was our chance. 189 00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:38,389 With the right combination of tact and finesse, 190 00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:41,992 We might just... Dad, are you gonna get us that new color TV set or not? 191 00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:43,260 Unbelievable. 192 00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:46,030 What TV? 193 00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,299 Nothing, honey. 194 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,100 What TV? 195 00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:51,903 Really! Nothing. 196 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,338 Mom said that we were gonna get one. 197 00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,006 Didn't you, Mom? 198 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,408 Obviously something critical had malfunctioned 199 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,177 In Wayne's brain. 200 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,112 I didn't say definitely. 201 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:04,415 I did say that your father and I might... 202 00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,117 Everybody else has one. 203 00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:14,125 [ Sighs ] 204 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,594 Fact is, I like color TV. 205 00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:21,232 Fact is, I bet I like color TV as much as the next guy. 206 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,570 But let me ask you this. 207 00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:28,339 Does anyone here have any idea 208 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,261 How much one of those sets costs? 209 00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:35,879 $469.95. 210 00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,682 Plus tax. 211 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,152 Minus the discount. 212 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,787 $434.40 total. 213 00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:45,389 Looking back, 214 00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:48,026 He probably meant that question to be rhetorical. 215 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,393 Nice going, butthead! 216 00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:51,295 Me?! What did I do?! 217 00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:53,697 Nice going, butthead! 218 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:56,100 Oh, well... One minute you're everybody's little Santa. 219 00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,968 The next minute you're Benedict Arnold. 220 00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,469 You guys have a lot to learn. 221 00:08:59,471 --> 00:09:01,172 Don't you know anything about psychology? 222 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,974 This from a woman who'd read the cliff notes 223 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,742 For Kahlil Gibran. 224 00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:08,045 I mean, you're backing Dad into a corner. 225 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:12,183 He wants to buy us a TV, but he wants to surprise us. 226 00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,951 It's complex. 227 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:16,888 [ Door closes ] 228 00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,291 Nice going, butthead! 229 00:09:21,293 --> 00:09:24,195 Hey, you're the one who started all this. 230 00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,098 Okay, I'd blown it. 231 00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,000 There was dissension in the ranks. 232 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,468 I could take it. 233 00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:33,604 But out there, down that hallway... 234 00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:35,406 I'm not buying a TV, Norma. 235 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,175 We can't afford it despite what you... 236 00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:39,443 What they think. 237 00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:41,645 Well, I think we ought to... 238 00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:44,015 It's not like I don't work hard for a living, you know. 239 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,216 I do what I can. 240 00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,350 Honey, I know. 241 00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:50,354 It's just that, when I saw it there in the store... 242 00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:53,791 The TV... I saw the kids looking at it, 243 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:58,395 I saw us here, watching it, together. 244 00:09:58,397 --> 00:10:00,865 They've grown up so fast, Jack. 245 00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,434 Karen's almost leaving us. 246 00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:06,604 Honey? 247 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,905 What the heck? 248 00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:10,608 Why don't we just go for it? 249 00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,011 You don't have to get me anything this year. 250 00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:17,381 We'll... we'll eat hot dogs for a month. 251 00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,684 You know it would make you feel good. 252 00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:25,757 [ Dog barks in distance ] 253 00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:26,924 [ Door closes ] 254 00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:29,026 - [ Sighs ] - I couldn't sleep. 255 00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:30,294 I felt confused. 256 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,329 Why couldn't things be simple, 257 00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:35,232 The way they used to be, in the sixth grade? 258 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,100 Wayne? 259 00:10:37,102 --> 00:10:39,670 You awake? 260 00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:41,171 Angela! 261 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:48,012 It was all a riddle inside a riddle inside a... 262 00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:49,747 A box. 263 00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:52,650 And I had to find the answer. 264 00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:56,854 Boy, Christmas was turning into a minefield. 265 00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,127 [ bell dings ] 266 00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:05,295 120 shopping minutes till Christmas. 267 00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:06,797 In my family, 268 00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,500 That's when the serious last-minute purchasing began. 269 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,502 Will you stop?! 270 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:15,639 Gee, look over there. Wonder what those are. 271 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:18,709 Why, they look like color TVs. 272 00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,278 If Dad was planning a surprise, 273 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,646 He was sure playing it close to the vest. 274 00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:25,482 Christmas?! Ha! Bah humbug! 275 00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,852 But I had problems of my own. 276 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,520 I had to find a present for Winnie. 277 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,088 It had to be perfect. 278 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:34,625 It had to say everything without saying anything. 279 00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,627 And it had to be under six bucks. 280 00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,795 How about a book? 281 00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:40,163 How about one of those paper weights 282 00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:43,133 With the ice skater inside and the swirly snow? 283 00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:46,437 Are you kidding? I hate those! 284 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,006 Well, my mother liked the one I got her. 285 00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:51,075 Sorry. 286 00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:52,243 It's okay. 287 00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,044 Compromise was out of the question. 288 00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:58,148 I had to find the right gift or die trying. 289 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,519 I can't tell. 290 00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:04,588 I think I'm dying. 291 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:09,560 It smells like leaves I-in the ocean, at night. 292 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,129 Do you have anything like that? 293 00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,933 Why don't we just pick up the phone 294 00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:17,701 And ask Winnie what it's called? 295 00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:18,869 We can't. 296 00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:21,339 Why not? We can disguise our voices. 297 00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,073 We could be Avon calling. 298 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:26,277 Paul could be amazingly dense when it came to women. 299 00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,846 Fortunately, he had me to set him straight. 300 00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:32,483 It's got to be a surprise. That's what she's expecting. 301 00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,084 Oh. 302 00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:37,622 See, that's why she gave me the present in the first place. 303 00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,857 She wants me to make the next move. 304 00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,392 - Oh. - Yeah. 305 00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:44,161 [ Sighs ] 306 00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,530 [ "Jingle bell rock" plays ] 307 00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:53,337 [ Sneezes ] 308 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,815 [ Sneezes ] 309 00:13:09,154 --> 00:13:11,222 ? Dada-da ? 310 00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:16,059 ? Da-da-da ? 311 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:18,863 ? Ahh-ahh-ahh ? 312 00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,397 One question. 313 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:22,733 If she already has some, why get her more? 314 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,505 Okay, so it wasn't 315 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,107 What James Bond would give pussy galore. 316 00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:34,445 007 wasn't getting by on 50 cents a week in allowance. 317 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,446 Besides... 318 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,847 It's the thought that counts. 319 00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:39,650 I had to believe that. I had no choice. 320 00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:43,187 Christmas eve. 321 00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:46,056 In homes all over the known universe, 322 00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:50,428 An age-old celebration was about to unfold. 323 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:55,799 A time of joy and harmony and family. 324 00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,468 [ gunshot ] 325 00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,770 Gee, would you look at that car? 326 00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,806 I wonder what color it is. 327 00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,441 [ Tires screech ] 328 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:06,176 Oh, wait. There's the ocean. 329 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,912 You think it's orange? 330 00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:09,780 Nah, it's probably blue. 331 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,381 But how would I know? 332 00:14:11,383 --> 00:14:13,717 Wayne! Turn it down. 333 00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:16,420 That night, all the seams were showing. 334 00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,622 Only Mom was in there pitching, 335 00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:21,892 Like a lone fireman at a five-alarm blaze. 336 00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:22,860 Eggnog, anyone? 337 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,162 Lydia Herschmuller just called 338 00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,565 To remind us about the caroling party tonight. 339 00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:31,234 I told her we'd be there with bells on. 340 00:14:31,236 --> 00:14:33,370 [ Tires screech, explosion ] 341 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:36,006 Wayne! Turn it down! 342 00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,408 You had to wonder... 343 00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,744 Maybe every family was given only so much Christmas cheer 344 00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:41,913 To begin with. 345 00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,814 Maybe this year, my family had run out. 346 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,584 Whoops! That guy's eating a gray banana. 347 00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:49,720 We have to sing "little drummer boy" tonight. 348 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,622 [ Television continues playing ] 349 00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:52,756 This was pathetic. 350 00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:54,424 Someone had to do something. 351 00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:57,494 Hey, you remember the year I played Santa in the school play? 352 00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,534 Well, I'd given it my best shot. 353 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:06,002 Nothing. 354 00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:06,971 If we put on sunglasses, 355 00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:09,874 We could watch this in black-and-green! 356 00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,743 Wayne had finally reached the limit. 357 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:16,446 Hold on. I'm picking up some color here. 358 00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:19,250 Oh, it's beautiful. It's... 359 00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,585 Wayne! Will you just give it up? 360 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,821 We're not getting a TV! 361 00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:26,523 Just forget it! 362 00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:27,791 Well, I got to go. 363 00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:30,327 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Where do you think you're going? 364 00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:31,128 I have a date. 365 00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,063 On Christmas eve? 366 00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:34,932 [ Scoffs ] why not? 367 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,367 What your father means... 368 00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:40,136 It's Christmas eve. We spend Christmas eve together. 369 00:15:40,138 --> 00:15:42,206 I can say what I mean. 370 00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:45,476 ?Jingle all the way? 371 00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,511 I'm going out, Dad. 372 00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:50,547 Nobody is going anywhere. 373 00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:54,017 We're all staying right here. 374 00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:58,355 [ Door slams ] 375 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,266 [ Door closes ] 376 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,019 I wasn't sure exactly what to expect at Winnie Cooper's. 377 00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:31,588 But I had a pretty good idea. [ doorbell rings ] 378 00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:36,460 ? I'm dreaming ? 379 00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:41,499 ? Of a white Christmas ? - hi. 380 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,667 Hi. 381 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:47,004 - ? Just like the ones ? - I brought this for you. 382 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,206 ? I used to know ? 383 00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:52,209 Then you got my message. 384 00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:57,714 ? Where the treetops glisten ? 385 00:16:57,716 --> 00:17:03,820 - Merry Christmas, sweetheart. - ? And children listen ? 386 00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:04,954 ? To hear... ? 387 00:17:04,956 --> 00:17:07,658 Yes? 388 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:11,295 Holy cow, I'd never seen this person before in my life. 389 00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,697 Uh... Is Winnie home? 390 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,532 No, she's not. 391 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,900 Can I help you? 392 00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:18,869 No, that's okay. 393 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,337 You're the boy next door, aren't you? 394 00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,272 Gwendolyn said you might be stopping by. 395 00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:23,741 She did? 396 00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,944 The Coopers decided to spend the holidays with relatives. 397 00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:28,846 It was a last-minute decision. 398 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,148 She seemed to think you'd understand. 399 00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,782 Understand what? 400 00:17:32,784 --> 00:17:34,151 That nothing made sense? 401 00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:35,586 That Christmas was a bust? 402 00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,422 That my whole family was coming apart at the... 403 00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:41,458 You... Do know about her brother, don't you? 404 00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,592 Brian? 405 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,429 Oh. 406 00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:48,798 Brian was killed last fall... 407 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,300 In Vietnam. 408 00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,568 I know! 409 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,637 I-I know that! 410 00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:56,239 [ Sighs ] 411 00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,709 I guess I just... Forgot. 412 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:02,746 They needed time away. They'll be back in a few days. 413 00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,014 Good night. 414 00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,949 [ Door closes ] 415 00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:07,250 At that Moment, 416 00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:11,054 I felt like the dumbest human being on earth. 417 00:18:11,056 --> 00:18:12,989 [ doorbell rings ] 418 00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:15,091 [ Door opens ] 419 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,598 It was supposed to be perfume. 420 00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:30,774 [ Intro to Joni Mitchell's "River" plays ] 421 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,524 ? It's comin' on Christmas ? 422 00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:48,925 ? They're cuttin' down trees ? 423 00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:50,694 ? They're puttin' up reindeer ? 424 00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:53,997 ? And singin' songs of joy and peace ? 425 00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:57,168 ? Oh, I wish I had a river ? 426 00:18:57,170 --> 00:19:01,639 ? I could skate away on ? 427 00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:05,309 ? But it don't snow here ? 428 00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,444 ? It stays pretty green ? 429 00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:09,146 ? I'm gonna make a lot of money ? 430 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,149 ? Then I'm gonna quit this crazy scene ? 431 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,252 ? I wish I had a river ? 432 00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:19,590 ? I could skate away on ? 433 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,229 ? I wish I had a river so long ? 434 00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:29,266 ? I would teach my feet to fly ? That night, I thought about a lot of things - 435 00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:31,202 About Winnie... 436 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:33,036 About Brian... 437 00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,172 About my family... 438 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:38,509 ? oh, I wish I had a river ?-...About how things get lost or messed up. 439 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,644 ? I could skate away on ? 440 00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:45,048 ? Silent night ? 441 00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:48,819 ? Holy night ? 442 00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:52,522 ? All is calm ? 443 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:56,226 ? All is bright ? 444 00:19:56,228 --> 00:20:00,397 ? 'Round yon virgin ? 445 00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:04,401 ? Mother and child ? 446 00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:08,038 ? Holy infant ? 447 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,642 ? So tender and mild ? 448 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:14,445 Nothing short of a miracle was gonna make this right. 449 00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:19,883 ? Sleep in heavenly peace ? 450 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:25,355 ? Sleep in heavenly peace ? And then it happened. 451 00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:29,260 [ wind howls ] 452 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,629 It started... 453 00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:33,964 [ thunder crashes ] 454 00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,966 To pour. 455 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,368 [ Indistinct shouting ] 456 00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:41,838 The thing was, Dad just stood there. 457 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,241 We all wanted to run for cover. 458 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,845 But Dad was just standing there. 459 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,881 So we just stood there with him. 460 00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:59,323 [ chuckles ] 461 00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:01,391 [ laughter ] 462 00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:10,867 Come on. What are we waiting for? Let's get out of here. 463 00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:17,440 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. All right, already. All right. 464 00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,876 I don't even remember what I got for Christmas that year. 465 00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:21,411 [ thunder rumbling ] 466 00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:24,514 But Dad gave Mom a bracelet that knocked her socks off. 467 00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:28,051 Oh, yeah, and he did get us that color TV... 468 00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:29,452 Two years later. 469 00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,655 Oh, man, eat 'em off the floor. 470 00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:34,658 [ laughter ] 471 00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:38,662 For me, that year, 472 00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:41,898 Christmas stopped being about tinsel and wrapping paper 473 00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:44,367 And started being about memory. 474 00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:46,369 At first, that was disappointing. 475 00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:48,505 Until I learned that memory is a way 476 00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:50,641 Of holding on to the things you love, 477 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:54,811 The things you are, the things you wish to never lose. 478 00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,412 And I learned from Winnie 479 00:21:56,414 --> 00:21:58,949 That in a world that changes too fast, 480 00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:02,318 The best we can do is wish each other merry Christmas... 481 00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:08,158 And good luck. 482 00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:12,758 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34913

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