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1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:06,137
? What would you do
if I sang out of tune? ?
2
00:00:06,139 --> 00:00:11,343
? Would you stand up
and walk out on me? ?
3
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:17,082
? Lend me your ears,
and I'll sing you a song ?
4
00:00:17,084 --> 00:00:20,786
? I will try not to sing
out of key, yeah ?
5
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:24,956
? Oh, baby, I get by ?
? By with a little help from my friends ?
6
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,458
? All I need is my buddies ?
7
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,527
? High with a little help
from my friends ?
8
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:34,932
? I'm sayin' I'm gonna get higher ? -?
Try with a little help from my friends ?
9
00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:40,405
- ? Whoa-oa-oa-oa, yeah ?
- ? Ooh, ooh, ooh ?
10
00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:49,614
?Silent night?
11
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:54,218
? Holy night ?
12
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:58,890
? All is calm ?
That Christmas of 1968,
13
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,058
My brother, Wayne, and I fell in love...
? All is bright ?
14
00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:03,227
With color TV.
15
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:07,665
?'round yon virgin?
16
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:10,568
- It was more than love. It was lust.
-? Mother and child ?
17
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,970
We were witnessinga modern miracle,
18
00:01:12,972 --> 00:01:14,839
And we worshiped it like aborigines...
? Holy infant ?
19
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,841
From the black-and-whitestone age.
20
00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:19,344
?so tender and mild?-It was the
first thing we'd ever agreed on.
21
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:21,879
- Cool.
- Boss.
22
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:25,684
?Sleep in heavenly peace?-Even
Mom and Karen tended to mist up
23
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:29,120
In the presence of all thatalmost-living color.
24
00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:31,356
- Hello. Can I help you?
- Oh.
25
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:34,425
?Sleep in heavenly peace?-Yeah, load
a dozen of these babies into the car.
26
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,294
And make it snappy.
27
00:01:36,296 --> 00:01:37,895
Well...
28
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:42,800
Unfortunately, there was onevery small, very minor hitch.
29
00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:44,769
You'd really
have to talk to my husband.
30
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,437
You got to be joking.
31
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,473
8 bucks for a crummy,
little stick like this?
32
00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:49,574
A buck a foot.
33
00:01:49,576 --> 00:01:50,875
That's highway robbery.
34
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:52,877
Not that my father was scrooge.
35
00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:55,613
It's just that,every year around this time,
36
00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:58,250
He'd... he'd go intokind of a... Slump.
37
00:01:58,252 --> 00:02:01,152
Next year, we're gonna skip
the damn tree.
38
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:02,987
It was a bad time to behitting him up
39
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:04,055
For a major appliance.
40
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:06,457
Still, in an emergency,
41
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,260
There were waysto the big guy's heart.
42
00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:11,162
Here, let me help you
with that, Dad.
43
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,230
You had to kill himwith kindness,
44
00:02:13,232 --> 00:02:15,066
Drown him in goodwill...
45
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:16,634
Hey, I got it!
46
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:20,905
All the while, sending himvery specific psychic messages.
47
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:25,543
TV, TV, TV, TV, TV, TV.
48
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:27,245
You okay?
49
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:29,781
- Sure. Why?
- Looks like you got a headache.
50
00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,951
Of course, you didn't wantto tip your hand.
51
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:36,321
This was a delicate procedurethat required the touch...
52
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:39,290
So, Dad, you gonna buy us
that color TV or not?
53
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:41,292
Of a sledgehammer.
54
00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:43,661
What TV?
55
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:45,429
He didn't tell you?
56
00:02:45,431 --> 00:02:46,531
Uh...
57
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:48,232
What do we need a color TV for?
58
00:02:48,234 --> 00:02:50,234
So you can watch things.
59
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:51,870
In color!
60
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:52,637
Watch what?
61
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,071
"Bonanza."
62
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,506
Baseball...
63
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,074
Football...
64
00:02:57,076 --> 00:02:57,876
Uh...
65
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,410
Baseball.
66
00:02:59,412 --> 00:03:02,347
TVs cost money, kids.
67
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,981
Uh-oh.
68
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:06,384
And money doesn't grow
on trees. You know that.
69
00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:08,085
Yeah, we did know that.
70
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:09,788
If there was one thing we knew,
71
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:12,690
It was that moneydoesn't grow on trees.
72
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,125
Come on, get in!
73
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,660
Still, he hadn'tspecifically said no,
74
00:03:16,662 --> 00:03:18,429
So there was still hope.
75
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:20,899
After all, Christmas was a time
76
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,468
When impossible dreamscame true...
77
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:25,436
When the Grinch turned good.
78
00:03:25,438 --> 00:03:26,804
So, just maybe...
79
00:03:26,806 --> 00:03:29,007
A buck a foot.
You believe that?
80
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,508
Highway robbery.
81
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,210
Or maybe not.
82
00:03:34,147 --> 00:03:36,548
Few things in lifeare less productive
83
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:40,018
Than the last 10 minutes ofschool before a major vacation.
84
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:45,356
Maintenant, tournez � page 67,
s'il vous pla�t.
85
00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,192
Alors, Guillaume?
86
00:03:51,631 --> 00:03:54,932
Uh...
87
00:03:54,934 --> 00:03:58,836
Je pense que...
88
00:03:58,838 --> 00:04:01,239
Um...
89
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,940
Le...
90
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,609
[ tick! ]
91
00:04:06,412 --> 00:04:08,112
Oh, well.
92
00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:10,448
Joyeux Noel, everyone.
93
00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:12,850
[ Bell rings ]
94
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:16,387
[ Indistinct shouting,
cheering ]
95
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:18,189
I mean on average.
96
00:04:18,191 --> 00:04:19,957
Counting socks and underwear?
97
00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:21,125
Total annual tonnage.
98
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:23,060
See, well, I thought
we were talking quality,
99
00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:24,161
Not quantity.
100
00:04:24,163 --> 00:04:25,463
Oh, come on, Paul.
101
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,498
I mean, you get Hanukkah
presents every day for a week.
102
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:29,233
Paul and Ihad a standing argument
103
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:31,268
Over who made out betteron the holidays.
104
00:04:31,270 --> 00:04:32,470
Paul's lasted eight days,
105
00:04:32,472 --> 00:04:34,204
Which I thoughtgave him the edge.
106
00:04:34,206 --> 00:04:36,140
Well, let's see.
I'll give you an example.
107
00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:38,476
What's the one thing
you really want for Christmas?
108
00:04:38,478 --> 00:04:39,977
What's that got to do with it?
109
00:04:39,979 --> 00:04:41,713
Just answer the question.
110
00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,547
What did I want?
111
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:45,850
What would make thingsabsolutely perfect?
112
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,221
? Dada-da ?
113
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,558
? Da-da-da ?
114
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:58,963
? Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh ?
115
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,834
? Da-da-da ?
116
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:08,373
? Da-da-da ?
117
00:05:08,375 --> 00:05:09,774
? Ahh... ?
118
00:05:09,776 --> 00:05:12,109
[ Tempo decreases, music stops ]
119
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:15,680
A TV.
120
00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:17,415
I guess I want a color TV.
121
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:18,482
Kevin?
122
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,551
She was alone.
123
00:05:20,553 --> 00:05:22,987
She was wearing perfume.
124
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,221
Hi.
125
00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:26,457
Hi. I wanted to give you this.
126
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:27,859
What is it?
127
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,661
It's a present.
128
00:05:31,430 --> 00:05:33,398
Sure. I knew that.
129
00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:35,467
I wanted to tear it openwith my teeth.
130
00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:37,668
But don't open it
till Christmas.
131
00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:38,770
Okay?
132
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,805
Of course not.
133
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:43,408
A thousand thoughts werebarreling through my head,
134
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,910
A million questions,a billion...
135
00:05:45,912 --> 00:05:47,412
Well, see ya.
136
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,613
Wait. Stop her! Stop her!
137
00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,816
Uh, I-i got something
for you, too.
138
00:05:51,818 --> 00:05:55,153
Good. A lie, but a-a good lie.
139
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,122
I just...
140
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,556
Don't have it with me.
141
00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,758
Oh, that's okay.
You don't have to.
142
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:03,561
Maybe I can
bring it to your house?
143
00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,863
I guess so.
144
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,498
Then I'll see ya.
145
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,733
In a matter of seconds,
146
00:06:08,735 --> 00:06:11,335
My whole life had been bentinto a question mark.
147
00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,404
- What did this mean?
- Hi.
148
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:15,639
Was it a message?
[ Indistinct conversation ]
149
00:06:15,641 --> 00:06:16,874
One thing I was sure of...
150
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:20,244
Winnie Cooperhad never smelled better.
151
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:21,712
You're dreaming.
152
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:23,447
Huh?
153
00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,683
You're never gonna get
a color TV.
154
00:06:25,685 --> 00:06:26,985
Hammer.
155
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,486
Maybe Paul was right.
156
00:06:28,488 --> 00:06:31,522
The great color-TV campaignwas sputtering.
157
00:06:31,524 --> 00:06:33,023
Dad was a rock.
158
00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:35,092
The situationwas getting desperate.
159
00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:36,494
So was Wayne.
160
00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:39,330
Honey, you haven't been peeking
in the closets, have you?
161
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,565
Screwdriver.
162
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,066
[ Gasps ]
163
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:44,903
Oh, look, everybody, it's the
little bird in the cage! -Aw!
164
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,104
Remember, Daddy?
165
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,506
Uh-oh. Holiday traditions.
166
00:06:48,508 --> 00:06:50,774
My family was honeycombed
with them. Oh!
167
00:06:50,776 --> 00:06:53,610
You know who gave this to us?
Uncle mike.
168
00:06:53,612 --> 00:06:54,712
Your uncle mike.
169
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:57,681
He used to say
that it reminded him
170
00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,563
Of the only girl he ever loved.
171
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:02,220
Pliers.
172
00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:04,188
I hated those old stories.
173
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:05,957
There was a reason.
174
00:07:05,959 --> 00:07:07,392
You know what I'm remembering?
175
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:08,659
And here it came.
176
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:11,863
The year Kevin played Santa
in the school pageant.
177
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,130
Ugh!
178
00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:14,832
Mom, look, you don't
have to right now. It's...
179
00:07:14,834 --> 00:07:17,535
I know, but you were so cute,
180
00:07:17,537 --> 00:07:19,003
The way you came waddling in,
181
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,672
Just like a bowl full of jelly.
182
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:22,974
Yeah, with his pants
almost falling off.
183
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,542
Had these people no mercy?
184
00:07:24,544 --> 00:07:26,277
He was pretty cute.
185
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,145
Wait a minute.
186
00:07:28,147 --> 00:07:30,948
Was that a smileon the old man's face?
187
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,017
An actual smile?
188
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:36,086
We'd caught him off guard.Now was our chance.
189
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:38,389
With the right combinationof tact and finesse,
190
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:41,992
We might just... Dad, are you gonna
get us that new color TV set or not?
191
00:07:41,994 --> 00:07:43,260
Unbelievable.
192
00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:46,030
What TV?
193
00:07:47,100 --> 00:07:48,299
Nothing, honey.
194
00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:50,100
What TV?
195
00:07:50,102 --> 00:07:51,903
Really! Nothing.
196
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,338
Mom said
that we were gonna get one.
197
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,006
Didn't you, Mom?
198
00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:57,408
Obviously something criticalhad malfunctioned
199
00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,177
In Wayne's brain.
200
00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:01,112
I didn't say definitely.
201
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:04,415
I did say that your father
and I might...
202
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:06,117
Everybody else has one.
203
00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:14,125
[ Sighs ]
204
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:16,594
Fact is, I like color TV.
205
00:08:16,596 --> 00:08:21,232
Fact is, I bet I like color TV
as much as the next guy.
206
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,570
But let me ask you this.
207
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:28,339
Does anyone here have any idea
208
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,261
How much one
of those sets costs?
209
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:35,879
$469.95.
210
00:08:36,816 --> 00:08:38,682
Plus tax.
211
00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,152
Minus the discount.
212
00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,787
$434.40 total.
213
00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:45,389
Looking back,
214
00:08:45,391 --> 00:08:48,026
He probably meant that questionto be rhetorical.
215
00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:49,393
Nice going, butthead!
216
00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:51,295
Me?! What did I do?!
217
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:53,697
Nice going, butthead!
218
00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:56,100
Oh, well... One minute you'reeverybody's little Santa.
219
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,968
The next minuteyou're Benedict Arnold.
220
00:08:57,970 --> 00:08:59,469
You guys have a lot to learn.
221
00:08:59,471 --> 00:09:01,172
Don't you know anything
about psychology?
222
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,974
This from a womanwho'd read the cliff notes
223
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,742
For Kahlil Gibran.
224
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:08,045
I mean, you're backing Dad
into a corner.
225
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:12,183
He wants to buy us a TV,
but he wants to surprise us.
226
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,951
It's complex.
227
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:16,888
[ Door closes ]
228
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,291
Nice going, butthead!
229
00:09:21,293 --> 00:09:24,195
Hey, you're the one
who started all this.
230
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,098
Okay, I'd blown it.
231
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:29,000
There was dissensionin the ranks.
232
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:30,468
I could take it.
233
00:09:30,470 --> 00:09:33,604
But out there,down that hallway...
234
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:35,406
I'm not buying a TV, Norma.
235
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,175
We can't afford it
despite what you...
236
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:39,443
What they think.
237
00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:41,645
Well, I think we ought to...
238
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:44,015
It's not like I don't work hard
for a living, you know.
239
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,216
I do what I can.
240
00:09:45,218 --> 00:09:46,350
Honey, I know.
241
00:09:46,352 --> 00:09:50,354
It's just that, when I saw it
there in the store...
242
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:53,791
The TV... I saw the kids
looking at it,
243
00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:58,395
I saw us here,
watching it, together.
244
00:09:58,397 --> 00:10:00,865
They've grown up so fast, Jack.
245
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:03,434
Karen's almost leaving us.
246
00:10:05,471 --> 00:10:06,604
Honey?
247
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,905
What the heck?
248
00:10:07,907 --> 00:10:10,608
Why don't we just go for it?
249
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:14,011
You don't have to get me
anything this year.
250
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:17,381
We'll... we'll eat hot dogs
for a month.
251
00:10:17,383 --> 00:10:19,684
You know it would
make you feel good.
252
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:25,757
[ Dog barks in distance ]
253
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:26,924
[ Door closes ]
254
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:29,026
- [ Sighs ]
- I couldn't sleep.
255
00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:30,294
I felt confused.
256
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,329
Why couldn't things be simple,
257
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:35,232
The way they used to be,in the sixth grade?
258
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:37,100
Wayne?
259
00:10:37,102 --> 00:10:39,670
You awake?
260
00:10:39,672 --> 00:10:41,171
Angela!
261
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:48,012
It was all a riddleinside a riddle inside a...
262
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:49,747
A box.
263
00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:52,650
And I had to find the answer.
264
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:56,854
Boy, Christmas wasturning into a minefield.
265
00:11:01,594 --> 00:11:03,127
[ bell dings ]
266
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:05,295
120 shopping minutestill Christmas.
267
00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:06,797
In my family,
268
00:11:06,799 --> 00:11:09,500
That's when the seriouslast-minute purchasing began.
269
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,502
Will you stop?!
270
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:15,639
Gee, look over there.
Wonder what those are.
271
00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:18,709
Why, they look like color TVs.
272
00:11:18,711 --> 00:11:20,278
If Dad was planning a surprise,
273
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,646
He was sure playing itclose to the vest.
274
00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:25,482
Christmas?! Ha! Bah humbug!
275
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,852
But I had problems of my own.
276
00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,520
I had to find a presentfor Winnie.
277
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,088
It had to be perfect.
278
00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:34,625
It had to say everythingwithout saying anything.
279
00:11:34,627 --> 00:11:36,627
And it had to beunder six bucks.
280
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,795
How about a book?
281
00:11:37,797 --> 00:11:40,163
How about one
of those paper weights
282
00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:43,133
With the ice skater inside
and the swirly snow?
283
00:11:43,135 --> 00:11:46,437
Are you kidding? I hate those!
284
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,006
Well, my mother liked
the one I got her.
285
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:51,075
Sorry.
286
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:52,243
It's okay.
287
00:11:52,245 --> 00:11:54,044
Compromise wasout of the question.
288
00:11:54,046 --> 00:11:58,148
I had to find the right giftor die trying.
289
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,519
I can't tell.
290
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:04,588
I think I'm dying.
291
00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:09,560
It smells like leaves
I-in the ocean, at night.
292
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:12,129
Do you have anything like that?
293
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,933
Why don't we just pick up
the phone
294
00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:17,701
And ask Winnie
what it's called?
295
00:12:17,703 --> 00:12:18,869
We can't.
296
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:21,339
Why not?
We can disguise our voices.
297
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:23,073
We could be Avon calling.
298
00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:26,277
Paul could be amazingly densewhen it came to women.
299
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,846
Fortunately, he had meto set him straight.
300
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:32,483
It's got to be a surprise.
That's what she's expecting.
301
00:12:32,485 --> 00:12:34,084
Oh.
302
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:37,622
See, that's why she gave me
the present in the first place.
303
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,857
She wants me to make
the next move.
304
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,392
- Oh.
- Yeah.
305
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:44,161
[ Sighs ]
306
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,530
[ "Jingle bell rock" plays ]
307
00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:53,337
[ Sneezes ]
308
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,815
[ Sneezes ]
309
00:13:09,154 --> 00:13:11,222
? Dada-da ?
310
00:13:13,693 --> 00:13:16,059
? Da-da-da ?
311
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:18,863
? Ahh-ahh-ahh ?
312
00:13:18,865 --> 00:13:20,397
One question.
313
00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:22,733
If she already has some,
why get her more?
314
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:27,505
Okay, so it wasn't
315
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:30,107
What James Bondwould give pussy galore.
316
00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:34,445
007 wasn't getting by on50 cents a week in allowance.
317
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,446
Besides...
318
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,847
It's the thought that counts.
319
00:13:36,849 --> 00:13:39,650
I had to believe that.I had no choice.
320
00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:43,187
Christmas eve.
321
00:13:43,189 --> 00:13:46,056
In homes all overthe known universe,
322
00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:50,428
An age-old celebrationwas about to unfold.
323
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:55,799
A time of joy and harmonyand family.
324
00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:57,468
[ gunshot ]
325
00:13:57,470 --> 00:13:59,770
Gee, would you look
at that car?
326
00:13:59,772 --> 00:14:01,806
I wonder what color it is.
327
00:14:01,808 --> 00:14:03,441
[ Tires screech ]
328
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:06,176
Oh, wait. There's the ocean.
329
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,912
You think it's orange?
330
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:09,780
Nah, it's probably blue.
331
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:11,381
But how would I know?
332
00:14:11,383 --> 00:14:13,717
Wayne! Turn it down.
333
00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:16,420
That night,all the seams were showing.
334
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,622
Only Mom was in there pitching,
335
00:14:18,624 --> 00:14:21,892
Like a lone firemanat a five-alarm blaze.
336
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:22,860
Eggnog, anyone?
337
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,162
Lydia Herschmuller just called
338
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,565
To remind us about
the caroling party tonight.
339
00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:31,234
I told her we'd be there
with bells on.
340
00:14:31,236 --> 00:14:33,370
[ Tires screech, explosion ]
341
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:36,006
Wayne! Turn it down!
342
00:14:36,008 --> 00:14:37,408
You had to wonder...
343
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:40,744
Maybe every family was givenonly so much Christmas cheer
344
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:41,913
To begin with.
345
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,814
Maybe this year,my family had run out.
346
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,584
Whoops! That guy's
eating a gray banana.
347
00:14:46,586 --> 00:14:49,720
We have to sing
"little drummer boy" tonight.
348
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,622
[ Television continues playing ]
349
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:52,756
This was pathetic.
350
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:54,424
Someone had to do something.
351
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:57,494
Hey, you remember the year I
played Santa in the school play?
352
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:03,534
Well, I'd given itmy best shot.
353
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:06,002
Nothing.
354
00:15:06,004 --> 00:15:06,971
If we put on sunglasses,
355
00:15:06,973 --> 00:15:09,874
We could watch this
in black-and-green!
356
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,743
Wayne had finallyreached the limit.
357
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:16,446
Hold on. I'm picking up
some color here.
358
00:15:16,448 --> 00:15:19,250
Oh, it's beautiful. It's...
359
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,585
Wayne! Will you
just give it up?
360
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,821
We're not getting a TV!
361
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:26,523
Just forget it!
362
00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:27,791
Well, I got to go.
363
00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:30,327
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Where do you think you're going?
364
00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:31,128
I have a date.
365
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,063
On Christmas eve?
366
00:15:33,065 --> 00:15:34,932
[ Scoffs ] why not?
367
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,367
What your father means...
368
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:40,136
It's Christmas eve. We spend
Christmas eve together.
369
00:15:40,138 --> 00:15:42,206
I can say what I mean.
370
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:45,476
?Jingle all the way?
371
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:47,511
I'm going out, Dad.
372
00:15:47,513 --> 00:15:50,547
Nobody is going anywhere.
373
00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:54,017
We're all staying right here.
374
00:15:56,755 --> 00:15:58,355
[ Door slams ]
375
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,266
[ Door closes ]
376
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:29,019
I wasn't sure exactly whatto expect at Winnie Cooper's.
377
00:16:29,021 --> 00:16:31,588
But I had a pretty good idea.
[ doorbell rings ]
378
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:36,460
? I'm dreaming ?
379
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:41,499
? Of a white Christmas ? - hi.
380
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,667
Hi.
381
00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:47,004
- ? Just like the ones ?
- I brought this for you.
382
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,206
? I used to know ?
383
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:52,209
Then you got my message.
384
00:16:52,211 --> 00:16:57,714
? Where the treetops glisten ?
385
00:16:57,716 --> 00:17:03,820
- Merry Christmas, sweetheart.
- ? And children listen ?
386
00:17:03,822 --> 00:17:04,954
? To hear... ?
387
00:17:04,956 --> 00:17:07,658
Yes?
388
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:11,295
Holy cow, I'd never seenthis person before in my life.
389
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,697
Uh... Is Winnie home?
390
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,532
No, she's not.
391
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,900
Can I help you?
392
00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:18,869
No, that's okay.
393
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:20,337
You're the boy next door,
aren't you?
394
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,272
Gwendolyn said
you might be stopping by.
395
00:17:22,274 --> 00:17:23,741
She did?
396
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,944
The Coopers decided to spend
the holidays with relatives.
397
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:28,846
It was a last-minute decision.
398
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,148
She seemed to think
you'd understand.
399
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,782
Understand what?
400
00:17:32,784 --> 00:17:34,151
That nothing made sense?
401
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:35,586
That Christmas was a bust?
402
00:17:35,588 --> 00:17:38,422
That my whole familywas coming apart at the...
403
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:41,458
You... Do know
about her brother, don't you?
404
00:17:41,460 --> 00:17:42,592
Brian?
405
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,429
Oh.
406
00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:48,798
Brian was killed last fall...
407
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,300
In Vietnam.
408
00:17:50,302 --> 00:17:51,568
I know!
409
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,637
I-I know that!
410
00:17:53,639 --> 00:17:56,239
[ Sighs ]
411
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,709
I guess I just... Forgot.
412
00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:02,746
They needed time away.
They'll be back in a few days.
413
00:18:02,748 --> 00:18:04,014
Good night.
414
00:18:04,016 --> 00:18:05,949
[ Door closes ]
415
00:18:05,951 --> 00:18:07,250
At that Moment,
416
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:11,054
I felt like the dumbesthuman being on earth.
417
00:18:11,056 --> 00:18:12,989
[ doorbell rings ]
418
00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:15,091
[ Door opens ]
419
00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,598
It was supposed to be perfume.
420
00:18:25,638 --> 00:18:30,774
[ Intro to Joni Mitchell's
"River" plays ]
421
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,524
? It's comin' on Christmas ?
422
00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:48,925
? They're cuttin' down trees ?
423
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:50,694
? They're puttin' up reindeer ?
424
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:53,997
? And singin' songs
of joy and peace ?
425
00:18:53,999 --> 00:18:57,168
? Oh, I wish I had a river ?
426
00:18:57,170 --> 00:19:01,639
? I could skate away on ?
427
00:19:02,908 --> 00:19:05,309
? But it don't snow here ?
428
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,444
? It stays pretty green ?
429
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:09,146
? I'm gonna make a lot
of money ?
430
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:12,149
? Then I'm gonna quit
this crazy scene ?
431
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,252
? I wish I had a river ?
432
00:19:15,254 --> 00:19:19,590
? I could skate away on ?
433
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:25,229
? I wish I had a river so long ?
434
00:19:25,231 --> 00:19:29,266
? I would teach my feet to fly ? That
night, I thought about a lot of things -
435
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:31,202
About Winnie...
436
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:33,036
About Brian...
437
00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:35,172
About my family...
438
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:38,509
? oh, I wish I had a river ?-...About
how things get lost or messed up.
439
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,644
? I could skate away on ?
440
00:19:40,646 --> 00:19:45,048
? Silent night ?
441
00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:48,819
? Holy night ?
442
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:52,522
? All is calm ?
443
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:56,226
? All is bright ?
444
00:19:56,228 --> 00:20:00,397
? 'Round yon virgin ?
445
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:04,401
? Mother and child ?
446
00:20:04,403 --> 00:20:08,038
? Holy infant ?
447
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:11,642
? So tender and mild ?
448
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:14,445
Nothing short of a miraclewas gonna make this right.
449
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:19,883
? Sleep in heavenly peace ?
450
00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:25,355
? Sleep in heavenly peace ?
And then it happened.
451
00:20:25,357 --> 00:20:29,260
[ wind howls ]
452
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,629
It started...
453
00:20:32,631 --> 00:20:33,964
[ thunder crashes ]
454
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:35,966
To pour.
455
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,368
[ Indistinct shouting ]
456
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:41,838
The thing was,Dad just stood there.
457
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,241
We all wanted to run for cover.
458
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,845
But Dad was juststanding there.
459
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,881
So we just stood therewith him.
460
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:59,323
[ chuckles ]
461
00:20:59,325 --> 00:21:01,391
[ laughter ]
462
00:21:07,032 --> 00:21:10,867
Come on. What are we waiting
for? Let's get out of here.
463
00:21:13,338 --> 00:21:17,440
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
All right, already. All right.
464
00:21:17,442 --> 00:21:19,876
I don't even remember whatI got for Christmas that year.
465
00:21:19,878 --> 00:21:21,411
[ thunder rumbling ]
466
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:24,514
But Dad gave Mom a braceletthat knocked her socks off.
467
00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:28,051
Oh, yeah, and he didget us that color TV...
468
00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:29,452
Two years later.
469
00:21:29,454 --> 00:21:31,655
Oh, man, eat 'em off the floor.
470
00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:34,658
[ laughter ]
471
00:21:36,762 --> 00:21:38,662
For me, that year,
472
00:21:38,664 --> 00:21:41,898
Christmas stopped beingabout tinsel and wrapping paper
473
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:44,367
And started being about memory.
474
00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:46,369
At first,that was disappointing.
475
00:21:46,371 --> 00:21:48,505
Until I learnedthat memory is a way
476
00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:50,641
Of holding on to the thingsyou love,
477
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:54,811
The things you are, the thingsyou wish to never lose.
478
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,412
And I learned from Winnie
479
00:21:56,414 --> 00:21:58,949
That in a worldthat changes too fast,
480
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:02,318
The best we can do is wisheach other merry Christmas...
481
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:08,158
And good luck.
482
00:22:08,208 --> 00:22:12,758
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