Original subtitles

‐ Uh, chicken wings, uh, tots, onion rings, and splat.

‐ [machine gurgling]

‐ Yep, we got a jam.

‐ Should we get the tube sweeper?

‐ Nah, it's being used by table five.

‐ Yeah, let's switch tables.

‐ Maybe I can help.

‐ Let's stay.

‐ [machine whirrs]

‐ Whoo, hey, thanks.

‐ You wanna thank me, let me buy you lunch sometime.

‐ We haven't paid for this mess yet.

‐ [laughs]

‐ Sorry, I'm...kinda into paying for my own meals right now.

‐ And her best friend.

She also pays for her best friend.

‐ Well, it was nice talking to you.

‐ What was wrong with him?

‐ Uh, I'm just not ready to date again yet.

It hasn't been that long since Link moved.

‐ When will you be ready?

‐ I guess I'll know when I get a sign.

‐ [phone meowing]

‐ Sorry, let me get this.

Oh, it's not me.

‐ Yeah, it's him.

‐ Oh, sorry. I don't know how

"Classical Cats Volume 2" got on my phone.

‐ I have the same ringtone.

‐ Okay. I lied, I put that on my phone.

‐ They're great, right?

Who needs Mozart when you can have Meow‐zart?

‐ [laughs]

‐ Wait. You're reading "The Yellow Bandana?"

‐ It's kinda my favorite book.

‐ Get out! It's my favorite book.

I've read it like five times.

And I've even listened to the audiobook.

‐ Have you heard the one read by cats?

‐ They have that?

‐ No, but that would be awesome.

‐ [laughing]

‐ Oh, thank you, good sir.

Well...it was nice to meet you.

‐ Nice to meet you, too.

So, like I was saying, um, yeah,

I'll know it's time to date again when I get a sign.

‐ Phoebe, I'm not usually ahead of you on these things‐‐

‐ Great Meow‐zart's ghost, that was like a million signs.

‐ Donate to the hoverboard foundation?

‐ What's the money go to?

‐ Buying me a hoverboard.

‐ Well, in that case, here's an onion ring.

‐ I never liked you.

‐ I missed him.

I guess it's not meant to be.

‐ Or is it?

Look, he left his book.

‐ Oh.

Well, I guess I could just hold onto this

in case I run into him again.

Come on, let's pay and get out of here.

‐ Uh, where'd my purse go?

[clears throat]

‐ What?

It's for charity.

‐ ♪ What you see is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in, bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ Because we're living our lives just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture‐perfect family is what we try to be ♪

♪ But closer you might see the crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make‐believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

‐ Donate to the hoverboard foundation.

Every penny counts.

Unless it's a penny.

Ugh! ‐ Eh!

‐ Cherry, prepare to have your mind blown.

Bam!

‐ Whoa! Two books!

I don't get it.

‐ Check it out.

This is my copy of "The Yellow Bandana."

This is my crush's copy.

Here.

I underlined this sentence.

He underlined this sentence.

Look, I put a star next to this part.

He did, too.

‐ Yeah, but what's this?

‐ Uh, that's just a food stain.

‐ You're both sloppy eaters?

It's like you're soulmates.

‐ Yeah, well, none of that matters,

because it's been like five days,

and I still haven't run into him.

Maybe I never will.

‐ Hey, what if you use your super powers

to freeze everyone in town,

then dig through the lifeless bodies

until you find him?

‐ This is why you're not a superhero.

‐ What about your Hero League tablet?

Don't you have some kind of search for a bad guy app?

‐ Yeah, that thing can find anyone.

But it's for official Hero League business only.

They call it Find a Fiend.

Not Find a Cute Guy or May or May Not Be Perfect For You.

Look, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

After school, I'm just gonna go to Splat Burger,

sit quietly, and wait for fate to bring him back to me.

Seriously?

Nobody here's seen the boy reading this book? Nobody?

‐ ♪

‐ Not even close to enough money for a hoverboard.

What are we going to do now, Colosso?

‐ COLOSSO: We use the old metal detector.

‐ [metal detector beeping]

‐ Oh, I'm getting a hit already.

‐ I'm gonna hit you.

That's the can.

‐ Burn! Burn!

‐ Burn! Burn! Burn, ninja! Burn!

‐ Okay, that's enough ninja burn for one day.

‐ Uh... why?

That's the whole question, just why.

‐ We were at some kind of ninja birthday party.

‐ It's called "Ninja Burners," Dad.

‐ "Ninja Burners" is our favorite show.

‐ Oh, right, I saw that on the DVR...

right before I erased it.

‐ Ninja Burn! ‐ Hold it!

Whoa, whoa, that ninja party was a bad idea.

‐ No way, it was awesome.

They had a ninja piñata.

Pin the tail on the ninja.

And ninja nachos.

They're nachos with a jalapeno kick.

‐ Hey!

‐ And the Ninja Burners were there.

Can we get them for our birthday parties this year?

‐ Absolutely not.

Those party performers are way too expensive.

‐ But you just wasted money buying Chloe crayons.

‐ Don't drag me into this.

‐ Crayons are not a waste of money.

Especially when you get them for free at a restaurant.

‐ Chloe just wants to color pictures of her family,

not watch three pretend ninjas slap each other around

for $100 an hour.

‐ [spits]

Sorry, just choked on a new plan.

‐ Let's go hang out with the one kid

who isn't kicking or spitting.

‐ Hey, how would you two like to teach me

everything you know about "Ninja Burners"

so I can make some hoverboard money?

‐ Seems like he's up to something.

‐ He just told you what he's up to.

And for the record, it'll never work.

"Ninja Burners" always travel in groups of three.

‐ It's the ninja code.

‐ Well, then you guys can be ninjas, too.

‐ I'm in.

As long as you keep the money.

I don't mix business with pleasure.

‐ I do.

I want 10% of all profits and a $5 signing bonus.

‐ I'll you some loose change and a dead battery.

‐ Deal.

‐ Hey, before you settle on those two, check this out.

Keeee‐ya.

Keee‐ow!

‐ ♪

‐ [sighs] This book is all I have left of you, Mystery Crush.

‐ It doesn't have to be. ‐ Ah!

‐ Don't worry, I'm here, too. ‐ Ah!

‐ Come on, you know you wanna use

Find a Fiend to get that boy.

Just do it.

‐ Oh, I get it.

Angel Phoebe, Devil Phoebe.

All right, Angel Phoebe, tell me why I shouldn't do it.

‐ Abusing your Hero League privileges

would be wrong.

‐ Thank you.

‐ Unless... ‐ Unless?

Tell her the unless.

‐ Unless you do it really, really quick

so no one finds out.

That's kinda like not even doing it.

‐ That's not very angel like at all.

Handing out halos to just anyone these days?

‐ Come on, I really like him, okay?

And all those signs.

I really wanna see where this goes.

‐ But if I use Find a Fiend, I have to label my crush

as a dangerous criminal.

‐ Well, he is dangerously cute.

‐ And he's the first guy you've liked since Link.

‐ [sighs]

All right, fine, if you guys both think I should do it,

then I'll do it.

‐ Uh, actually, you're already doing it.

While Angel Phoebe and I were distracting you,

IT Phoebe logged you into the Find a Fiend app.

‐ You're in.

Uh, I also backed you up to the Cloud.

‐ ♪

‐ Max, how did you make such amazing costumes?

‐ I got a guy who's a ninja with a needle.

‐ Wah, wah, wah, wah!

‐ Uh‐oh, Barb, he's starting a ninja army.

‐ Relax, we're just getting ready for our audition

to be birthday party performers.

I'd never start a ninja army. Ha!

[whispers] Start ninja army.

‐ Oh, Chloe.

Since you're done drawing Max,

why don't you come in and draw Mommy and Daddy?

‐ Nope. But I'll draw the couch.

‐ Maybe you can draw

Mommy and Daddy sitting on the couch.

‐ Nope.

‐ All right,

that lady and her kid should be any minute.

Let's practice.

Chay, chay, chay!

‐ Max, Ninja Burners don't say "chee‐yah."

They say, "Burn," remember?

‐ Right.

Burn! Burn! Burn! ‐ Whoo!

You're getting there.

‐ Hey. Thanks for teaching me all this stuff, guys.

‐ Maybe when you get your hoverboard,

you can let us ride us. ‐ Sssh, here they come.

‐ Uh!

‐ Hi, I'm Mrs. Garcia.

‐ Of course.

And you must be Winter. I'm Max.

‐ Who cares? Just kick somebody.

‐ Okay.

Ninja Burners... burn!

‐ [all grunting]

‐ ALL: Burn!

‐ Awesome!

‐ Winter likes you. You're hired!

‐ ALL: Yes!

‐ No.

Just the red one.

The yellow one lacks the ninja spirit.

And the blue one has a bow.

Bows are my thing.

‐ Sorry,

but Ninja Burners always travel in groups of three.

‐ It's the ninja code.

Guys, go inside.

You're not old enough to hear what I'm about to say.

If you think for one minute that I'm doing this party

without my brother and sister...

then you're absolutely right.

‐ THUNDER MONITOR: Alert! Alert! Cherry approaching.

‐ CHERRY: Ugh!

‐ THUNDER MONITOR: Alert, alert!

‐ I could have sworn there was a third step there.

‐ Don't worry, you'll get it next time.

‐ So, what's the news about your mystery crush?

Did you find him?

‐ No, but I did use the Find a Fiend app

to start tracking him down.

‐ Ooh, you devil you.

‐ You have no idea.

So, once the system sends me his coordinates,

I'm going to pretend to run into him.

Do my flirty laugh.

[giggles]

And then he'll never escape me again.

‐ THUNDER MONITOR: Alert, alert,

incoming transmission from Super President Kick Butt.

‐ Hello, Phoebe.

I see you've been using our Find a Fiend program.

‐ How did you know that?

‐ When someone of your skill level

registers a dangerous criminal,

the Hero League is always notified.

That way, we can send a strike team.

‐ Uh, strike team?

That sounds awfully strikey.

‐ Oh, they are.

A group of our best men and women guaranteed

to find your dangerous criminal and take him out.

‐ Don't you want him to take you out?

‐ What's the fruit girl talking about?

‐ Actually, Super President, you are gonna laugh.

Uh, there's actually something you should know

about my dangerous criminal

before you send in that strike team.

‐ Too late. ‐ [crash]

‐ ♪

‐ I am so proud of you, Phoebe.

Your first big man hunt.

[laughs] I hope you catch your guy.

‐ Or not.

It'd be fine if I didn't.

‐ Hey, Chloe.

You ready to draw Mommy and Daddy?

‐ Nope, strike team.

‐ Well, maybe you can draw us when you're done.

‐ Nope.

‐ Don't cry, Hank.

She'll know we're weak.

‐ Cherry, I feel awful.

‐ Yeah, you really don't look that good.

‐ No, I mean,

all I wanted to do was track down a boy I liked.

‐ And now you have a whole strike team

to do it for you.

You have time to rest up and feel better.

‐ I'm not sick.

I am putting an end to it.

It's time to call President Kickbutt.

‐ We got your guy.

We just spotted him buying a ticket

for the 3:15 screening of "Maze Jumper 3."

‐ O‐M crazy!

That's your favorite movie franchise.

‐ Time to strike!

‐ No, don't strike. ‐ Why not?

‐ Well, uh, I'll tell you why.

Because...that's not my guy.

‐ But it fits the description you logged into the program.

Blonde hair, green eyes, soul of poet.

‐ You forgot smile that lights up a room.

But, uh, actually, Cherry got a much better look at him.

‐ Well, we'll need to ask you a few questions.

‐ Uh, you can ask her more than a few.

You can ask a bunch, a load, a whole gaggle of questions

right after we chat real quick. Okay? Cool. Thanks.

Did you see that picture?

My guy's even cuter than I remembered.

And like you said,

we have the same favorite movie franchise.

He is on fire!

‐ So what's the plan?

‐ [sighs] The movie is two hours long,

which gives me enough time to change and go meet my crush

while you come up with some crazy description

of someone who doesn't exist.

‐ Ooh, like big foot?

‐ No, Cherry, a human that doesn't exist.

‐ You know, actually, my uncle is a big foot hunter,

and he‐‐ ‐ Cherry!

Just make him a boy, okay?

I need them off chasing some guy you dreamed up

so I can go chase the guy of my dreams.

‐ On it. ‐ Thank you.

‐ All right, Strikers, here's what our man looked like.

He had a‐‐ugh!

I could have sworn there was a step there.

‐ ♪

‐ Burn! ‐ Ahh! Tiny ninjas!

‐ We knew you'd go to the birthday party without us.

‐ You lied.

And we were just starting to have fun together.

‐ You're right.

I'm gonna give myself a stern talking to.

You guys should probably go inside.

You're not old enough to hear what I'm about to say.

‐ Nobody's falling for that.

Billy, get back here!

‐ Okay, look, I'm sorry.

I just really need that money for the hoverboard and‐‐

wait, how did you guys even know I was going?

‐ You're Max.

‐ Cursed my reputation.

‐ Oh, you're gonna be cursed all right....by the ninja code.

‐ BOTH: Wah‐ah!

‐ What was that?

‐ You mean this?

‐ BOTH: Wah‐ah!

‐ Yeah, that. Stop doing that.

‐ Legend says that if you break the ninja code,

it will come back to haunt you.

‐ Legend?

The Ninja Burners were invented by a toy company in Fresno.

‐ You'll see.

‐ And cursed you will be.

‐ BOTH: Wah‐ha!

‐ Still see you guys.

‐ BOTH: Wah‐ha! ‐ Stop doing that!

‐ ♪

‐ Who are you drawing now, Chloe?

The penguin?

‐ Because he's the reason you have nice things.

‐ I'm drawing Mommy and Daddy.

‐ What? I

thought you didn't want to draw us.

‐ I saved the best for last.

‐ Aw.

Okay, now we can cry, Hank.

‐ Not in front of the strike team.

Let's go cry outside.

‐ Oh, I gotta draw that.

‐ I think we found your guy.

‐ Oh good.

Wait, what?

Uh, how could you?

It wasn't even a real‐‐really good description.

‐ He's at Splat Burger.

Strike team strike!

‐ ♪

‐ Phoebe!

Phoebe!

We got a problem.

‐ What? Ugh, I knew it.

My "Maze Jumper" T‐shirt is too casual to meet my crush.

I'll go change. ‐ N‐n‐n‐n‐‐

‐ Cherry, what happened to the strike team?

‐ That's why I "Phoebe! Phoebe!"‐ed you.

They went to Splat Burger.

Somehow they found the guy I gave them.

‐ Wait, but you made up a guy, right?

‐ Yeah, I just described this drawing.

‐ Is that Chloe's?

‐ No, it's this artist named "Chow‐lay."

‐ That's how you spell Chloe.

Uh, I have to stop them.

They're going after an innocent civilian.

An oddly dressed civilian with two right feet.

‐ But what about your crush?

If you don't go to that movie, you may never see him again.

‐ Well, I have no choice.

This is all my fault.

This fool better be worth saving.

‐ ♪

‐ Ninja burn!

‐ [applause]

‐ Burn!

Burn!

‐ [crowd cheering]

‐ All right, guys, it's ninja story time.

There once was a red ninja who needed money for a hoverboard.

The end.

Now get stuff in this money can,

and don't say anything to your parents, or it's...

burn, burn, burn!

A nickel?

You can do better than that, Sweater Vest.

‐ Excuse me, can I take your picture?

You look just like my boss.

‐ I am your boss, Phoebe.

I'm on a stakeout.

‐ I knew that.

I just didn't want to blow your cover,

but if you don't wanna be professional, what‐evs.

‐ You are going to witness my strike team

take this joker down hard.

He's gonna wish he was never born!

Man, I love my job.

‐ ♪

‐ You have to stop them.

There's no dangerous criminal.

There never was.

I was just trying to track down a boy I liked.

‐ You turned Find a Fiend into a Find a Date?

‐ Actually, I was calling it

Find a Cute Guy Who May or May Not Be Perfect For You.

Point is, I messed up.

That person is totally innocent.

‐ Strike team, unstrike.

‐ I wish we could, ma'am.

But once Bruno's in strike mode, he's unstoppable.

‐ ♪

‐ Strike!

‐ [grunting]

‐ This is my party. Get your own gig.

‐ A fight scene, how fun!

Rip him in two!

‐ ♪

‐ [grunts]

‐ You're supposed to say "burn."

‐ Does it really matter?

‐ [crash]

‐ Max!

Strike team, finish him.

‐ No, strike team, stand down!

False alarm.

‐ Oh, not yet.

‐ I'm sorry I abused my Hero League privileges,

President Kickbutt.

I'll take whatever punishment's coming.

‐ I'll let you off with a warning.

You're not the first one to misuse Find a Fiend.

How do you think I met my husband?

‐ Of course, I won't be paying you now.

‐ Thank you for my hoverboard, Mommy.

‐ Oh.

‐ Are you kidding me?

That's my money, Sweater Vest!

‐ ♪

‐ Oh, I'm really okay, Cherry.

I mean, sure, he was perfect,

but it's what I get for using Find a Fiend in the first place.

Hold on one sec.

[laughing]

Okay, I'm back.

‐ You get burned?

‐ I don't wanna talk about it.

‐ CODE: Ninja code!

‐ There's no such thing.

‐ BOTH: Wah‐ha!

‐ Stop it!

‐ THUNDER MONITOR: Alert, alert!

‐ It's called pizza, Thunder Monitor.

‐ [doorbell rings]

‐ Delivery for the Thundermans.

‐ Phoebe, grab the pizza money off the counter.

‐ I mean, hey, if it's meant to be,

I'm sure I'll run him into again.

‐ Oops, I almost forgot your sodas.

‐ I mean, I could run into him anywhere.

‐ Here you go. ‐ Thank you.

‐ And, hey, even if I don't, there is a silver lining.

At least now I know I'm ready to start dating again.

‐ Should we tell her?

‐ Uh, pizza's here.

‐ Yeah! Pizza!

‐ ♪

‐ ♪

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