Original subtitles

‐ Quiet. The whole world's gonna know I missed curfew.

It's gonna be your fault. ‐ I missed curfew, too.

I was out trying to find a club that would let my band play.

‐ Oh, well, I missed curfew‐‐ ‐ Don't care!

‐ [bag swats arm] ‐ Ow.

Go check if the coast is clear.

‐ [crickets chirping]

‐ Mom is right on the other side of that door

with her "waiting up" blanket.

We're in so much trouble. ‐ You know what?

Why are a couple of supes sneakin' around anyway?

We should just man up, go in there,

and tell Mom what we think of her "curfew."

‐ You're right. We should handle this like mature adults.

[takes deep breath]

Okay, Mom, I know we're late, but‐‐

‐ What do you mean "we"? ‐ Well...

‐ Phoebe, you're over an hour late.

Do you know how worried your father and I were?

‐ HANK: Oh, television...

I don't have a care in the world when you're on.

‐ Do you know how worried I was?

‐ Mother, shall we sit?

We shall not.

Mom, here's the thing‐‐

I'm not a little kid anymore.

Heck, I'm the protector of Hiddenville.

If something went wrong, I would call myself.

‐ I know you think you can take care of yourself,

but I am still responsible for you.

Do you understand? ‐ Not even a little bit.

So, I guess we'll agree to disagree.

‐ How about we agree to ground you for a week?

‐ Well, that escalated quickly.

Seriously? A week?

‐ Yeah. Why don't you call yourself and get outta that?

‐ Come on, Mom!

‐ Would you guys please keep it down?

I'm trying to sleep.

‐ Sorry, sweetie.

Phoebe, you're double‐grounded for waking your brother up.

‐ Oh?!

‐ ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer, you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

‐ [sighing] There's nothing on.

Oh, Dad, do you need anything from the store?

‐ Shhhh! I can't be seen talking to you.

You're gonna get me grounded. ‐ Dad!

‐ Sorry, honey, but the only way you're gettin' outta here

is on a superhero mission.

Just, uh, watch some TV.

‐ [sighing] TV's boring.

‐ [gasping] Now you're bad‐mouthing TV?

You deserve being grounded.

‐ Wait? All I need's a mission, huh?

Thunder Monitor, emergency call to President Kickbutt.

‐ COMPUTER VOICE: Calling Super President Kickbutt.

‐ Phoebe, this had better be important.

I'm having quiet time at home.

‐ [rock music blaring]

‐ Simone, turn that song off, please!

‐ [music stops]

‐ Uh, I was wondering if you had a mission for me?

‐ Phoebe, this is my one day off a month.

I just want some peace and‐‐

‐ [rock music blaring]

‐ Simone! ‐ [music stops]

‐ Oh, look, a mission just came across the wire.

[imitates computer beeping]

The Hero League wants you to

take Simone off my hands for the evening.

‐ Oh, uh, that sounds‐‐

‐ Good. I'm sending her to you right now.

‐ Oh, hey, Phoebe!

[whooshing]

Mom, you can't keep doing that!

‐ You're Phoebe's mission now.

Super President Kickbutt... out...

‐ I hope your parents are cooler than mine.

‐ They are not‐‐which is why we are leaving.

‐ Oh, hey, Simone. What are you doing here?

‐ She's my "mission."

Super President Kickbutt wanted me to take her out.

It sounded very serious‐‐ there were beeps.

‐ Super President Kickbutt, huh?

Okay, well, you can go on your little mission,

but if you don't make curfew tonight,

you're gonna be triple‐grounded.

‐ Three weeks?

Those are Max numbers.

‐ Enjoy your mission.

You're on "Mom Time" now.

‐ Moms, am I right? ‐ Totally useless.

Now wait here, I'm gonna go put on

this really cute outfit she bought me yesterday.

‐ Hi, Max.

‐ Well, well, well, if it isn't Simone Kickbutt‐‐

‐‐er Cumberbatch.

Guys, this is Simone, a completely normal teenager

whose parents are totally unimportant.

‐ Any relation to Mike Kickbutter‐Cumberbatch?

‐ No, no relation.

So, what are you doing here?

‐ She must have heard about our first club gig‐‐

which we booked just in time.

We had a pact that if we didn't

play a club by tonight, we'd break up.

‐ Speaking of breaking up, Max,

is your mom still with that dude?

‐ You mean my dad?

Not cool, Gideon.

‐ [German accent] Wolfgang?

‐ Sure, I'd love to see you guys play.

I've been to Germany.

‐ Okay, uh, well, I just texted you the address.

‐ And I am definitely not texting Barb the address.

‐ [long, slow slurp]

‐ You really seem to be enjoying that cocoa.

‐ Oh, I finished it five minutes ago.

I'm just trying to wait them out.

Okay, you win. What's with the costumes?

‐ It's not about the costumes.

We're here on business.

‐ Yeah, it's o‐fish‐ial business.

‐ What this clown fish is trying to say

is we want a pet.

‐ Oh. ‐ Oh, ho, here we go.

You guys have tried this song and dance before.

‐ Not this one. Hit it, Billy.

‐ ♪ Buy us a pet ♪

♪ Be the best guys ever ♪

‐ ♪ Buy us a pet ♪

♪ It's meow or never ♪

‐ ♪ What we're trying to say ♪

‐ ♪ In our adorable way is ♪

‐ ♪ Buy us a pet right now ♪

‐ BOTH: [long, slow slurp]

‐ Seriously? Nothing?

‐ I'm sorry, but you guys are just not ready for a pet...

or Broadway.

‐ That's right. It's a huge responsibility.

‐ We were afraid you would say that,

and we would like to counter with this...

‐ Pwease, Mommy, Daddy?

‐ Oh, ho, ho, ho. ‐ Oh...

‐ Must... fight... cuteness.

‐ All right, listen, why don't you guys

take care of Dr. Colosso for the weekend?

If he says you're responsible pet owners,

then... we'll... get ya a pet.

‐ NORA, BILLY, CHLOE: Yay!

‐ Sorry, Barb, but you knew adorable children

were a risk when you married me.

‐ Simone, I'm telling you, Splatburger is not a club.

It's barely a restaurant.

‐ [electronic music playing]

‐ That is now a club.

I can't believe Mrs. Wong

would turn her restaurant into a nightclub.

‐ MAX: She didn't...

I did!

Welcome to Club Splatz.

‐ Why is it always you?

‐ Well, since I couldn't find a club

that would let our band play, I opened my own,

and when we rock out tonight,

our band won't have to split up.

‐ So, you just broke into Splatburger?

‐ [exaggerated gasp] How dare you!

I stole the key. ‐ Hm...

‐ You guys have fun now.

‐ All right, we should go.

Your mom would not like you partying at an illegal club.

‐ Yeah, because she worries too much‐‐

just like your mom.

‐ Tell me about it. I'm triple‐grounded?

I am a superhero, dang it.

‐ Great! Then we're staying.

Simone, out!

‐ Wait!

I can't miss curfew, so meet me at the door at 10:00.

‐ Got it. Now I'm out.

‐ Okay, just please don't hit me with your‐‐

hair.

‐ [reading] "And then the wicked witch

"put the pretty princess to sleep forever and ever...

The End."?

‐ Ha! I love evil fairytales.

‐ Enjoy your healthy vegetables, Colosso.

‐ Well, isn't that lovely.

Huh! ‐ [tray clatters]

‐ I don't want that garbage!

I want deep‐dish pizza from Chicago.

‐ Bunny food only.

We have to show mom and dad we're responsible pet owners.

‐ Fine.

Hank! Barb!

The kids are starving me!

‐ Okay, if we get you what you want,

will you say we're good pet owners?

‐ I don't make any promises 'til I see the goods.

‐ [zooming]

‐ Oh, yeah!

Let's do this!

[chomping, slurping]

‐ How does his little mouth open so wide?

‐ What's happening to him?

‐ Uh...

I think I'm a tad bloated.

‐ A tad?

You're a bunny blimp.

‐ Guess I can't process cheese like I used to.

Good to know.

‐ Have any of you guys seen Simone?

She was supposed to meet me by the door,

but I can't find her.

‐ Did you check Club Splatz's Velvet Members Only VIP Room?

‐ You mean the kitchen?

‐ And that's why you'll never be a member.

‐ I tried to get in, but that guy won't let me past.

‐ That's because you're not a very important person.

You're a very... annoying person.

And that group's over there.

‐ [electronic music playing]

‐ Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

She's with me, Enrico.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

‐ Oh, there she is...

‐ [air whooshing]

‐ ...throwing a chicken up the garbage chute.

‐ [laughing] Bye‐bye, birdie!

‐ Simone, where were you?

I waited at the door for like 20 minutes.

‐ Oh, well, I was just having so much fun with this

that I suddenly didn't care that you were waiting.

‐ Well, we're going. I don't wanna miss curfew.

‐ You can go. I'm staying.

‐ I'm not leaving you here mid‐mission.

I have to make sure you get home safe.

Oh, real mature.

‐ BOTH: Nya!

‐ Okay, you two are outta here.

I'm gettin' complaints‐‐

mostly from me.

But you're killin' the vibe in the VIP Room.

‐ Okay, it's a kitchen with a garbage hole in the ceiling.

It's time to go, Missy.

‐ Missy? Pu‐lease.

I'm not going anywhere.

‐ [air whooshing] ‐ SIMONE: [screaming]

‐ Ho, ho.

That's what the sign meant.

‐ Simone, are you okay?

‐ SIMONE: What do you think?

‐ This is awful.

How am I gonna get her back and make curfew?

‐ You know who you should talk to about this problem?

Anyone but me.

‐ Wait. You have to help me get Simone back.

‐ Well, I've gotta go play this gig.

Me and my band can stay together

and become legendary bad boy rockers.

One question‐‐ collar up or down?

‐ You know, I, uh, sure would hate for Mom to find out

you broke into Splatburger and turned it into a club.

‐ Pfft, you think telling on me's gonna work?

‐ [phone beeps] ‐ Call Mom.

‐ Stop that! ‐ [phone beeps]

‐ Okay, let's make this quick.

Oh, there's a reverse lever.

‐ Uh, okay, uh, I will pull it with my telekinesis

and when this thing spits Simone out, we'll catch her.

‐ Yeah.

‐ [chute rattling]

‐ Here she comes.

‐ A perfectly‐wrapped burger?

I accept your trade, trash chute.

‐ COLOSSO: [sighing, farting]

‐ Sorry, Colosso,

but we can't let Mom and Dad see you like this,

or we'll never get a pet.

‐ We have to cover you up until we figure out

how to fix... this. ‐ COLOSSO: [farting]

Ah, relax. Nobody ever comes down here.

‐ BARB: Kids, we're coming down there.

‐ Hey, we just came down to check on you guys.

‐ Yeah, Colosso, how are they doing?

‐ Don't. He's asleep.

‐ And as responsible pet owners,

we can't let you disturb his peace and quiet.

‐ COLOSSO: [long, slow fart]

‐ Uh, that was me. My tummy's bubbly.

‐ Aw, well, come on, sweetie.

Let's fix up your tummy with a little ginger tea.

‐ [whispering] You owe me.

‐ How do we fix your tummy, bubble boy?

‐ We need to force out this gas

by filling me up with more fart fuel.

‐ Wait? So we should give you more gas?

I thought my body was confusing.

‐ Just bring me beans‐‐

and lots of 'em.

‐ [zooming]

[zooming]

‐ Okay, you kids know the drill.

[chomping, slurping]

‐ SIMONE: Are you guys still there?

‐ Uh, yeah.

Uh, Phoebe and I are just trying to find

a way to get you out of wherever you are.

‐ [German accent] Founden Maxen.

‐ There you are, bro.

What are you doing in here? We've gotta play.

‐ Yeah, much like my love life, this club is "one night only."

‐ Dude, your love life is "no night only."

‐ Look, guys, I just need a second.

In the meantime, do something entertaining until I get there.

‐ Wolfgang!

Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!

Huh!

‐ Hey, someone in your band is talented.

All right, I searched the whole restaurant

and I can't figure out where this garbage chute leads.

‐ All right, new plan. [powers zapping]

You are gonna go up there to get Simone,

and I'm gonna pull you guys out.

‐ Why don't you go up the chute and I pull you out?

‐ Because I come with friends‐‐

"Venus" and "Serena"!

Make like that sign and stand on the "X."

‐ Max, do not... let go... of the cord.

‐ Don't worry. We won't.

‐ [air whooshing]

‐ [straining]

Don't give up, Venus!

Don't...

Whoa!

‐ PHOEBE: Oh! ‐ MAX: Whoa!

I didn't let go of the cord.

‐ Hey, guys, do you want some tea?

We had cookies, but Chloe ate them all.

‐ There's no crumbs on my face.

‐ What's Colosso doing up here?

‐ Mom, Dad, we need your help.

Look...

‐ BARB: [gasps]

‐ COLOSSO: No...

[gurgly voice] ... don't look at me.

‐ We really tried to be good pet owners.

‐ Honey, I think you failed.

‐ Oh, this is it, I'm gonna blow!

[stomach gurgling]

Oh... oh... oh...

Ahh!

‐ Take cover!

‐ [stomach gurgling]

[continuous fart]

Whoa! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ow! ‐ [teapot rattles]

‐ [farts] ‐ ALL: Ohhh!!

‐ Whew!

‐ All right, nobody light a match for at least an hour.

‐ Yeah, we don't want a pet anymore.

‐ There's no door down there.

But I did find another burger.

‐ Great. We're trapped in here.

‐ Wait, you losers can give up,

but I'm playing my club gig tonight.

‐ Well, Simone, I hope you're happy.

‐ Why would I be happy?

I'm gonna be picking pork scraps outta my super heels for a week.

‐ None of this would have happened

if you had just met me at the door on time.

I was worried sick about you.

‐ "Kobe," "LeBron," get in the game!

I've gotta get up... just a little higher.

[groaning] Whew.

[groaning]

‐ Look, Simone, I know you think you can take care of yourself,

but I'm the one who's responsible for you.

Wait. Where have I heard this before?

‐ Blah, blah, blah, blabbity, blah, blah,

still responsible for you.

‐ Oh, that's where I heard it.

‐ [alarm ringing] ‐ What's happening?

‐ The walls are closing in.

‐ The room must be a giant trash compactor.

It's gonna smash us into a brick of trash.

‐ Haven't I been through enough?

And you guys, too.

‐ [metal creaking]

‐ We've gotta get up through that hole in the ceiling.

‐ As my mad hops have already proven‐‐

it's way too high up.

‐ Not for someone with Kickbutt power.

Simone can superkick us straight up

through the hole in the ceiling.

If we're all tied together, we'll all fly up together.

‐ I'm in. I love kicking butts.

‐ Here, Max, tie this cord around yourself.

‐ Okay.

‐ Good. Now let Simone kick you in the butt.

‐ What? No! Why can't she kick you?

‐ Because it hurts.

‐ Well, she's not kicking me.

‐ I'll choose. Eeeny, meeny, miny‐‐

kick butt! ‐ PHOEBE: [screams]

‐ Why does that cord hate me?

‐ [metal creaking]

‐ BOTH: [heavy thuds]

‐ We did it!

Oh, and I can't feel my butt.

Wait, now I can.

Ow!

‐ MAX: Help! I'm being smooshed!

‐ Oh, no, Max!

‐ [heavy thud] ‐ What was that thud?

‐ It came from the alley outside.

‐ MAX: I don't see what's so funny.

‐ [phone camera clicks]

‐ [laughing] Can you see it now?

‐ Get outta my way.

I'm still doin' my gig.

You can't stop rock 'n roll.

You can squish it into a dirty little cube of trash,

but you can't stop it.

‐ All right, I can still make curfew,

so, now are you ready to go?

‐ Yeah.

You shouldn't have brought me

to this illegal club in the first place.

What were you thinking?

‐ Hey, where are you going?

Get those box cutters you call elbows over here

and get me outta this thing.

‐ [powers zapping] ‐ Whoaaaa!

You're banned from Club Splatz!

‐ See you later, Simone.

Never again.

‐ Well, you're home.

No groundings tonight, blankie.

‐ Mom, I'm really sorry I broke curfew the other night.

I should have respected your wishes

and come home on time.

‐ Aw, thank you.

So, does that mean you're never gonna break curfew again?

‐ Well, I wouldn't say that. [laughing]

But I promise I'll call, if I'm gonna be late.

‐ Aw, good enough.

‐ [watch beeps] ‐ Mom O'Clock.

Max is officially late for curfew.

Do you have any idea where he is?

‐ As a matter of fact, I do.

‐ [rock 'n roll "noise"]

‐ Not sure that counts as playin', bro.

‐ It counts. The band stays together.

‐ [music stops]

‐ Whazzup, Barb?

I see you came alone.

‐ I'm grounding your lead singer for a long time.

‐ Keep playin', guys.

You can't ground rock 'n roll.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

‐ ♪

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