Original subtitles

‐ Mom, Nora grew last night.

‐ I'm finally tall enough to go on Thunderman: The Ride!

‐ That's great.

I told you, if you were only patient‐‐

and you're standing on my romance novels.

Honey, you can't walk around Amazing Land like that.

‐ Sure I can. Oops!

‐ And she's down.

‐ Honey, your Dad will be here any second to measure you

and then we'll know if you can get on that ride.

‐ I really hope so.

I've been waiting for Nora to be tall enough

so our first ride can be together.

‐ We even made a special friendship frame

to hold the picture we're gonna take on the ride.

‐ And we've been practicing our scream faces.

‐ [silent screaming]

‐ HANK: [whooshes]

‐ He's back!

‐ I borrowed this from Amazing Land.

Funny story‐‐the day this picture was taken, it was 1997‐‐

‐ Blah, blah, blah, you did stuff.

Measure me!

[gasps] Yes, I'm a giant!

‐ ALL: [cheering, hooting]

‐ Congratulations.

‐ Thank you. Thank you.

You all finally recognized my greatness.

‐ Sorry, Max, I think that was for me.

I got my hair cut yesterday.

‐ Actually, we don't care about either of those things‐‐

because we are all going to Amazing Land

to ride Thunderman: The Ride!

‐ BARB: [squealing]

‐ Say what? ‐ Come again?

‐ Nora's finally tall enough.

Come on, everyone, let's get ready.

‐ HANK: Yay! ‐ BILLY: Woo!

‐ Thunderman: The Ride. ‐ This isn't happening.

‐ [carnival music]

‐ [ride thundering]

‐ [screaming]

‐ That was the most terrifying thing ever.

‐ What kind of people would enjoy that?

‐ That was amazing!

‐ Come on, kids, off to the next ride.

‐ BARB & HANK: [laughing]

‐ MAX & PHOEBE: Never again.

Never again!

Never again. Never again!

‐ Also, let's never hug each other again.

‐ Totally.

‐ ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer, you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

‐ I can't go on that ride again.

The automated voice still haunts my dreams.

"Secure personal objects and enjoy the ride."

I will not "enjoy the ride"!

‐ And I will not "secure personal objects"!

‐ I'm sure if we just told Mom and Dad the truth,

they wouldn't make us go.

‐ No one can know.

If it got out that two supes

are afraid of amusement park rides,

our lives would be ruined.

Well, you don't have a life, but I have everything to lose.

‐ Yes, because a talking rabbit

and boy band hair is everything.

‐ I knew, one day, Nora would be tall enough.

‐ Curse her love of milk!

‐ Which is why I have a plan.

‐ [powers zapping]

‐ We change our identities.

I'll be Benito Sancho Gallini, the Duke of Portugal,

and you're "Steve."

‐ Wait, Max, while you were explaining your dumb idea,

I just came up with something a lot easier.

Let's just tell Mom and Dad we already have plans.

‐ Okay, we'll do your idea. ‐ Great.

Why won't this thing come off?

‐ It's the glue, Steve.

‐ Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[sighing]

‐ [mustache ripping] ‐ Ow!

‐ Oh, oh, yeah! Watch that candy.

Sure I'll buy more cherry chews. Not my credit card.

‐ HANK: Colosso!

‐ Uh‐oh.

‐ I was just buying tickets to Amazing Land

when I found out someone else has been using my credit card,

playing an on‐line game called "Candy Squash"?

‐ I'm sorry, I've never heard of it.

‐ [computer bloops]

‐ MALE VOICE: Your candy is squashed.

Game over.

‐ Oh, Candy Squash. [chuckling]

‐ You just spent $2,000 on virtual candy?

I mean, real candy, I get. But virtual candy?

You're gonna pay me back or I will be playing Rabbit Squash.

‐ Wait! How am I supposed to come up with $2,000?

You turned me into an animal.

[sighing] Hm...

Hm...Hm!

[chuckling]

Coloss‐O's cereal.

[chuckling]

I am evilly delicious.

[chuckling]

‐ BARB: Phoebe, Max, let's go!

‐ Actually, I'm off to the mall with Cherry,

so have fun at Amazing Land without me. Bye.

‐ Wait. What?

‐ I said I'm off to the mall with Cherry,

so have fun at Amazing Land without me. Bye.

‐ No, Phoebe, you're coming with us.

You know how important this day is to Billy and Nora.

‐ Yeah, but today is the last day I can...

return this vase.

‐ We've had that for six years.

‐ I'm getting store credit.

‐ NORA: [powers zapping] ‐ PHOEBE: Oh!

‐ [vase shatters]

‐ That was a warning shot.

Next time, you get a second belly button.

Sorry, I'm just real excited. [giggles]

‐ Listen, I would love to go to Amazing Land, but I can't.

I've got community service.

I have to pick up trash on the side of the highway.

‐ BILLY: [zooming]

Done! And I found a half‐eaten granola bar.

‐ PHOEBE & MAX: [speaking at the same time]

‐ Guys, stop! I get it.

You guys think hanging out with your family is lame.

‐ Yeah, that's it. ‐ You guys are lame.

‐ Well, I'm sorry, but you're going.

And I can guarantee you this trip is not gonna be lame.

‐ ♪ Super villain has the wedgiest tights ♪

♪ Wedgiest tights wedgiest tights ♪

♪ Super villain has the wedgiest tights ♪

‐ ♪ 'Cause I kicked him in the butt ♪

‐ HANK & BARB: [laughing]

‐ It's bad enough if everyone knows we're gonna be afraid,

but do we have to listen to this offensive Super Villain song?

‐ BILLY: One more time. ♪ Oh the Super Villain has‐‐ ♪

‐ Billy! You spilled my chips!

‐ It was an accident.

I was just feeling the music.

‐ Can you feel this? ‐ Ow!

‐ Hey, kids, come on, no fighting.

I will turn this car around and we'll all go home.

I'm as serious as my limited edition

Thunderman: The Ride hat.

‐ I don't know what that means.

Oh, just tell me what you're trying to say.

‐ We'll use our powers to trick Billy and Nora into fighting

so Dad turns the car around and we save our rep.

‐ Max, that'll never work.

‐ MAX: [powers zapping]

‐ Stay on your own side.

‐ Wow, it worked. I'll get Nora.

‐ PHOEBE: [powers zapping]

‐ Why'd you do that? ‐ I didn't. You did.

‐ MAX & PHOEBE: [powers zapping]

‐ This won't end well.

‐ Stop it. ‐ Quit it.

‐ [video game music]

♪ Hey there, kids, it's me, Dr. C. ♪

♪ With a breakfast treat that's as good as can be ♪

♪ So grab a spoon and have a taste ♪

♪ And shove Coloss‐O's in your face ♪

‐ ♪ Coloss‐O's Coloss‐O's ♪

‐ ♪ It's got raisins and lotsa healthy junk ♪

♪ Now watch the rabbit shaka shaka his punk ♪

♪

‐ Wow, business is booming.

My butt can sell anything!

Mm‐hm.

‐ Quit touching me. ‐ Hey, outta my space.

‐ You started it. ‐ You started it.

‐ Okay, you kids have been fighting this entire trip.

Why don't you sing another song?

‐ Okay.

♪ Billy's a jerk, quit touching me ♪

‐ ♪ No you're the jerk, stop touching me ♪

‐ Enough! You kids behave right now

or I will turn this car around.

‐ If your dumb foot touches me again,

I'm gonna laser it right off.

‐ You wouldn't dare.

‐ Oh, she would.

[powers zapping]

‐ That's it! ‐ Uh‐oh.

[powers zapping] ‐ HANK: [gasps]

Oh, my promotional hat.

That's it‐‐we are going home.

‐ [tires screeching]

‐ ♪

‐ ♪ Oh we're not going on Thunderman: The Ride ♪

♪ 'Cause my evil plan was evil ♪

Phoebe, second verse, a little bit worse.

‐ Oh, it can't get worse.

Should we be worried about Billy and Nora?

They'll get over this, right? ‐ Oh, they'll be fine.

Unlike us, those little goobers actually like each other.

Trust me‐‐they'll walk through that door

like nothing happened.

‐ It's your fault we can't go to Amazing Land.

Apologize.

‐ Unh‐unh. You need to apologize.

I waited forever to go on Thunderman: The Ride

and now you've ruined it.

I'm always waiting for you.

‐ And what's that supposed to mean?

‐ Wait till Nora's old enough. Wait for Nora to catch up.

Wait for Nora to find the perfect bow.

‐ You know that's my signature look.

And you're always waiting for me

because you can't do anything without me.

‐ Starting now, I will.

Watch me break our friendship frame without you.

[straining]

‐ Once again, you need me.

[powers zapping] ‐ [frame clatters]

‐ No, I don't.

In fact, I'm moving out of our bedroom.

‐ NORA: Good. I didn't like sharing a room with you anyway.

‐ Well, they're still closer than we are.

‐ ♪

‐ Man, oddly‐enough, for a rabbit,

you make a great cereal.

[tooth crunches] Ow!

What is this thing?

‐ That's your tooth.

I dumped a lotta sugar in that stuff.

‐ Max, this fight is getting really bad.

Billy won't even breathe the same air as Nora.

He's passed out‐‐twice.

We need to tell the truth and fix this.

‐ What? You want people finding out

we're afraid of an amusement park ride?

‐ No, but I just feel bad.

‐ COLOSSO: [chuckling]

You guys should feel bad.

Who's afraid of a silly ride? [chuckling]

‐ Hey, there's nothing silly about

being strapped to a two‐ton death machine.

[powers zapping]

‐ COLOSSO: Hey, I hope the rest of your teeth fall out!

‐ Look, Phoebe, our secret is safe

and that's all I care about.

What's happening with Billy and Nora‐‐not my problem.

‐ BILLY: Incoming!

Ahhhhh!

‐ [boxes thudding]

‐ Billy what are you doing?

‐ I'm moving in, roomie.

‐ Sure looks like it's your problem now.

‐ ♪

‐ Eighteen hundred,

nineteen hundred, two thousand.

Thank you, Colosso.

‐ Hey, I make things right.

And, Barb, here's 500 bucks.

Buy yourself some of those yoga pants

you think are okay to wear in restaurants.

‐ Apologize, furball, or I'll wear you to a restaurant.

‐ Make it 700.

‐ Apology accepted.

‐ There's plenty more Colosso cash where that came from.

Now, let's check this morning's cereal sales.

‐ [alarm beeping] ‐ What?

"Site under investigation

"by the Federal Bureau of Cereal Crimes.

This product is known to cause teeth to fall out."

Lies! Lies, I say!

[spitting]

[speaking gibberish]

‐ ♪

‐ Aw, Max, did you start wearing footie pajamas again?

‐ Billy was super‐speed sleepwalking last night.

‐ And he stepped on your face?

‐ I have something on my face?

‐ No. Anyway, I've come up with a way

to make Billy and Nora friends again.

You and I act out a fake fight,

and then we apologize,

reminding them how siblings should behave.

‐ Lying. I like it.

‐ Great. Now I've written out this script

of how the fight should go down.

Your character's motivation is‐‐

‐ To conquer the world and look good doing it.

‐ Is it too late to re‐cast?

And action!

Max Thunderman, you are the worst brother ever.

‐ No, Phoebe, you are the worst

and I am now quarreling with you.

Okay, "quarreling"? No one says that.

‐ BILLY: I hear quarreling. What's going on?

‐ NORA: What did Billy do now?

‐ You have wrongly shoved me and I demand an apology.

‐ I will not apologize,

for it is you who has shoved me.

Lookit, how long is this thing?

‐ Fine. Just skip to the apology.

‐ Before or after the dance battle?

‐ After. Page 73.

‐ [shuffling pages]

‐ What are we doing, brother Max?

Siblings should not fight.

I am sorry.

‐ No, I am the sorry one, Phoebe.

I never should have said that your face smells

or that you have giraffe‐‐ ‐ Stick to the script.

‐ Or that your hair clogs the upstairs shower.

‐ Okay! I accept your apology.

‐ MAX & PHOEBE: Family!

‐ Here it comes. ‐ Mm‐hm.

‐ Don't apologize to her, Max.

She'll just make you wait for everything.

Sisters and their smelly faces are the worst.

‐ No, brothers are.

They can't do anything by themselves.

They can't even think for themselves.

‐ That's not true.

Max, help me think of a comeback.

‐ Come on, Phoebe, you can be my new best friend.

‐ Yeah, I...I don't think that's gonna work for me.

‐ Quiet, new Billy. [powers zapping]

‐ Ow!

‐ Well, Max is my new best friend.

Let's go, buddy.

You're thinkin' for two now.

‐ ♪

‐ I just got off the phone with

the Federal Bureau of Cereal Crimes.

Apparently, they're coming tomorrow to investigate

an illegal cereal operation.

‐ Max! ‐ That's what I thought.

So, when I went down to his lair,

I found 1100 boxes of these.

‐ Coloss‐O's?

Where is that rabbit?

‐ Panama. ‐ Panama?

Now, Chloe, did you teleport him there?

‐ Uh...

Mommy's pretty. ‐ Oh...

‐ Chloe, I want you to take me to Colosso.

‐ BOTH: [whooshing]

[whooshing]

‐ [grunts] You just made yourself an enemy, kid.

‐ You just got busted.

‐ Thanks to you, Colosso,

the cereal police are coming to my house tomorrow.

‐ Evidently, your homemade cereal causes severe tooth loss

and the raisins aren't really raisins.

‐ Aren't really raisins?

Colosso, what did you do?

‐ You mean, what did I doo‐doo?

[chuckling]

‐ ♪

‐ NORA: [powers zapping]

‐ I'm done playing with Nora.

Her shooting lasers and me yelling "Ouch"

is only fun for one person!

What's with the walkie‐talkie?

‐ Gotta feed Billy thoughts.

‐ BILLY: Max, come in.

I can't see.

‐ Turn the lights on, buddy.

‐ BILLY: Good thinking, Max.

‐ I don't care, Colosso.

You're going back in your cage.

And don't ever use Chloe

to teleport you anywhere ever again.

‐ COLOSSO: [screaming]

‐ Max did you hear that?

Chloe can teleport with other people.

‐ You didn't know that?

I haven't been walking to school in two weeks.

‐ BILLY: Max, there's something on my head.

‐ That's your hair, champ.

‐ Don't you see? We can use Chloe to teleport

Billy and Nora to Amazing Land,

and if we can get them on that ride,

they'll forget why they're mad.

‐ NORA: Phoebe, it's time to play "Ouch."

‐ Oh, no, she found me.

Okay, find Billy and Chloe and meet me in the driveway.

‐ NORA: [powers zapping] ‐ PHOEBE: Ahh!

‐ ♪

‐ All right, Chloe says she's ready

to take us to Amazing Land.

‐ Buckle up, baby.

‐ Let's do this, Max.

[blowing hot air] ‐ [ice cracking]

‐ What's he doing here? ‐ What's she doing here?

‐ Now, Chloe! ‐ To Amazing Land!

‐ ALL: [whooshing]

[whooshing]

‐ Whoa. How'd you get Amazing Land in our driveway?

‐ We're at Amazing Land, old Billy.

I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that anymore.

‐ Hey, Chloe, why don't you go wait over by Thunderman?

‐ That's Daddy!

‐ Okay, now we brought you guys here after hours

so you can make up.

So...

here's Thunderman: The Ride.

Come on, hurry up and hop on

and you guys can be friends again.

It'll be great. Come on.

Yay, we're two riding.

‐ Come on, guys.

Then, Billy, you can move outta my lair

and, Nora, no disrespect, you can do whatever you want.

‐ No way I'm gonna ride that with him

until he apologizes.

‐ Of course. Let's all wait for Nora.

Wait. Wait. Wait. ‐ [mocking] Wait. Wait.

‐ Max, we need to do

what we should have done in the first place.

‐ Don't you say it. ‐ Tell the truth.

‐ You're so weak.

‐ NORA & BILLY: I'm never talking to you again!

‐ Wait, guys. You can't go.

Look, Billy, you never kicked Nora

and, Nora, you never shoved Billy.

We did.

‐ Okay, look, the truth is

Max and I are afraid of riding Thunderman: The Ride.

It's just so terrifying with the up and the down

and the barfing.

‐ And we didn't want our secret shame to get out,

so we used our superpowers to trick you guys into fighting,

so Dad would turn the car around.

‐ So, this is all your fault?

‐ Because you wanted to keep your secret?

‐ Yeah.

We're sorry.

‐ We have to talk about this.

‐ Look, Max, it's working.

‐ I'll never forgive you.

‐ Great, you jinxed it.

Hey, Nora, it's okay.

Don't cry.

‐ NORA: I'm not crying.

I'm laughing. [laughing]

Now, Billy!

‐ BILLY: [zooming]

‐ What are you doing? ‐ Oh, just a little payback.

‐ [palm slap]

‐ HANK'S RECORDED VOICE: Prepare for blast off.

‐ We apologized and all that garbage.

You can't do this.

‐ Watch us.

‐ HANK: Five, four, three...

‐ Break the rule and hold me.

‐ Only if you hold me.

‐ HANK: Thunderman, away!

‐ MAX & PHOEBE: [screaming]

‐ Bye‐bye.

‐ Sorry about what I said earlier.

‐ No, you were right.

I can't do anything without you‐‐

because I have so much fun doing everything with you.

‐ Me, too.

That's always why I make you wait for me‐‐

so we can do fun stuff like this together.

‐ MAX & PHOEBE: [screaming]

‐ BILLY & NORA: [laughing]

‐ We're not really gonna ride this thing, are we?

‐ Absolutely not. They look terrified.

‐ PHOEBE: [screaming]

‐ BILLY & NORA: [laughing]

‐ Now that's a scream face.

‐ It really captures their fear and shame.

Good call in making them ride it 20 times.

Come on, let's go put this in our room.

‐ BILLY & NORA: Family!

‐ I'm really sorry.

I had no idea it was illegal to make cereal in my basement.

But $5,000. That seems like a pretty steep fine.

Would you take a bunny instead?

‐ You know, some day

I'm sure we'll look back on this and laugh.

‐ I'll be laughing, you will be screaming.

‐ Hey! Hey! Come on!

Whoa! Oh!

Ohhhhhhhhh!

Hi, I'm Dr. Colosso.

You know, we had a lotta laughs here today.

But there's one thing that's no laughing matter‐‐

tooth decay.

So, it's important to brush your teeth after every meal

with a doctor‐recommended toothpaste like mine‐‐

Dr. Coloss‐O's toothpaste.

Now in raisin flavor.

‐ HANK: Colosso! ‐ Uh‐oh.

‐ ♪

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