Original subtitles

- What's for breakfast? I've got thunder hunger.

Ooh, oatmeal.

- Uh, no, Max, that's not--

- Ugh! What is this?

- Walnuts that Chloe chewed up and spit out.

- Why?

- Because it's fun. [giggles]

- Just for that, I'm taking your toast.

[powers zapping] [laughs]

- CHLOE: [poofs, appears]

Not cool, dude.

[poofs] - Ha, ha, ha.

That is another good sports joke and/or reference.

- Who are you talking to?

- I'm practicing my "sports guy" talk.

Link is coming by with his best friend Quinn from Metroburg,

and I really wanna make a good impression.

- Ah, I'm sure you've got nothin' to worry about.

- Aw, thanks. - Anyone who likes Link

has very low standards in friends.

- Chloe! - [poofing]

[stomps foot] - Ow!

- Thank you! - CHLOE: [poofing]

- FEMALE COMPUTER VOICE: Alert! Alert!

Link and Quinn approaching. - [doorbell rings]

- Hey, guys...huh?

- Phoebe, this is my friend Quinn.

- Hi. [laughs] - Uh...

- Quinn's a girl.

- Yes, I see that.

- ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer, you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- Quinn, it's so nice to finally meet you.

Can I get you anything to girl--I mean, drink?

- No, I'm fine.

- Yes, you are.

I'm Max. - QUINN: [laughs]

- Uh, sorry we're late.

Quinn made us help a family of ducks cross the road.

- And I'm out.

- It's so cool to meet your friends, Linky.

- Aw...

I'm sorry, did you just call him "Linky"?

- Oh, that's Quinn's nickname for me.

- It's not as good as your nickname

for me when we were kids.

- BOTH: Quinny-boo-bear! [laughing]

- What about that cute nickname you have for me?

- I call you "Phoebe."

- Stop, I'm blushing.

- Excuse me, I have to call my aunt

and let her know I got here safely.

- So...

[arm squeaking]

Ta-da! - [laughing]

- You and I have our six month anniversary this week.

- Oh, and you have a best friend who's a girl!

- You know, it's funny.

I never quite think of Quinn as a girl.

We became best friends

because we were both nice kids raised by supervillains.

Our parents called themselves "The Frightening Four."

- Wait a minute, her parents are Insecto and Beetle Girl?

- Well, yes, but I call them Mr. and Mrs. Murphy.

- They were the bug freaks

who attacked the Metroburg Mango Festival.

- Yeah, they go crazy around mangoes.

But, luckily, your dad thought fast

and hosed 'em down with some hot sauce.

- Well, good thing Thunderman

never goes anywhere without a tank of hot sauce.

- Off to check the mail!

- Well, anyway, Quinn's not like her parents at all.

No bug powers and as nice as can be.

- Yeah, she seems great.

- See, that's why I like you so much.

Not a jealous bone in your body.

- Not me. All my bones are perfectly cool.

Ha! That should be my new nickname--

Coolbones!

- Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry.

Link, could you get me a broom?

- It's okay. It's just a silly little birdhouse.

Let me help you. - Thanks.

Oh, and by the way...

this birdhouse isn't the only thing

I'll be breaking apart while I'm here.

- Excuse me?

- Link and I belong together...

and the only thing in our way is you.

- Again--excuse me?

- I've got the broom.

- Oh, Phoebe says she'll finish up.

Uh, we have to go, Linky.

My aunt is waiting for me. - Oh, okay.

Uh, Phoebe, come with us

to Scrunchies' for ice cream tomorrow?

- Yeah, Phoebe, come with. [laughs]

- Uh...sure...?

- Great. Great.

See ya then, Coolbones.

- ♪

- Billy, Nora, do you know why we asked you up here?

- I admit it! I drank Mom's shampoo!

It just looked so green and refreshing.

- It's true. You've gotta see the video.

- Okay, we'll talk about that later.

But, first, we wanna thank you

for being so great about sharing a room

ever since we put Chloe in Billy's old room.

- And as a reward, we worked all day

and redesigned your room.

- NORA: No way! - BILLY: Whoa!

- This is the coolest room ever!

- I call the bed that says "Billy"!

- We're glad you like it.

Come on, Chloe, it's time for your nap.

- I wanna nap here.

- Don't you wanna nap in your room?

- There's a monster.

- A monster? Sweetie?

- Dad, let us handle this--kid-to-kid.

- Chloe, we used to be in your shoes.

Seriously, those used to be my shoes.

But take it from us,

there's no such thing as monsters.

- Never has been. - Never will be.

- Except the huggy monster! [roaring]

- [screaming]

- What were you thinking?

- Billy drank shampoo!

- Is it something you can use as a weapon?

- No. - You sure?

'Cause I once crippled a guy with an onion ring.

- Max, I need to talk to you.

- Quick, get me an onion ring!

- Remember Link's friend Quinn?

It turns out she's some sort of crazy mean girl.

She totally hates me.

- Still waitin' on the crazy part.

- I'm serious, Max.

She even threatened to break up me and Link.

She made a heart with her hands,

and then went like this...

- She used mime?

Look, Phoebe, even if it's true,

why are you telling me? Tell Link.

- That's the problem. I can't.

He'll just think I'm a jealous girlfriend.

And that's not how Coolbones rolls.

- Seriously, get me an onion ring!

- But if he sees her being mean to me again,

he'll know she's bad news.

And since you're always mean to me,

I thought you could help get the ball rolling.

- Look, Phoebe, I'd love to help you, but...

[laughing]

I'm just kidding. I'd hate to help you.

- So, you'd rather glue cards to your head

than help your sister?

Thanks a lot.

- Finally! Now, back to the game.

- He's a horse and you're a pineapple.

- MAX: Oh, come on! - COLOSSO: Hater!

- ♪

- [creature snarling]

[snarling continues]

- Nora?

Nora!

Look, free bows! - Where?

- I think there's a monster under my bed.

- First of all-- never joke about bows!

Second of all-- don't be ridiculous.

- I'm serious.

I heard a really weird noise.

- Me, too, and it won't stop talking to me.

- Please, Nora? I'm scared.

- [sighing] Come on.

We'll check under your bed together.

- Thank you.

- One, two, three.

You see? Nothing.

- [creature snarling]

- BOTH: Monster!

[screaming]

Hot sauce monster!

- It is the middle of the night.

What are you two doing?

- Trying to survive!

- There's a monster under my bed.

- Nice try, you two.

I heard you telling Chloe you don't believe in monsters.

You're just staying up late, goofing off.

Now go back to bed. - BOTH: But, Dad, there's--

- ♪ La La La La La La ♪ Goodnight.

- [door closes]

- Are we gonna sleep here tonight?

- This is our dream bedroom, Billy.

What do you think?

- Goodnight. - Goodnight.

- ♪

- Hey, Max, thanks for coming.

- I'm not here for you.

I just have an inexplicable craving

for Rocky Road ice cream.

- Ah, weird.

- Eat fire, cyborg scum!

- Pound 'im in the abdomen!

- BOTH: [sniffing]

Ice cream...

- Wait a minute, did you-- - Shhhh, here they come.

Look at her hiding in the back field

trying to intercept my boyfriend.

- Oh, nice football analogy. - I hate that I know that.

All right, here's the deal-- I'll buy you three scoops,

if you can get Quinn to be mean to me again in front of Link.

- Phoebe, there's no way. The woman's hug-a-duck is--

- [stomps on ice cream] - GIRL: [crying]

- [giddy laugh] I think I'm in love.

- I told you she was bad. - Well, she's not only bad...

she's heartless...

and callous...

and she will be mine.

- That could work.

If you can get Quinn to fall for you,

she'll forget about Link.

Okay, here's what you need to do--

Wait, where'd ya go?

- Hey, guys.

- Oh, hi, Max. I didn't know you were coming.

- Uh, I invited him.

You know much he loves-- - Your eyes.

- I was gonna say "ice cream," but...

creepy works, too.

- So, Quinn, how long are you in town?

Maybe I can show you around?

- No, thanks, I don't get to see Linky very much,

so, I was planning to spend all my time with him.

- Uh, actually, me and Sir Links-a-Lot,

new nickname, are having our sixth month anniversary dinner

tomorrow night, so you guys are free.

- I see. Then I'd love to see you, Max.

We'll make it a double date with Phoebe and Link.

- What?

- Oh, you won't be jealous if we tag along.

Will you, Dogbones?

- It's Coolbones.

And I'm cool with it.

- Uh, well, if you are, then I am.

Now what's everyone having.

- I'm just gonna get a small cone.

- I'm buying!

- With hundred dollar gift card.

- Give it up, honey! Link is mine!

So back off or else...

Cute shoes!

- I do not accept your compliment.

- Would you like to sample our mango frozen yogurt?

- Mango!!

[pincers clicking]

[gulping platter]

- ♪

- All right, another monster-free night.

Billy, wake up.

- [screaming] Eat Nora first!

This is awkward.

- Get up--we have clean this mess

before Mom and Dad come downstairs.

- On it.

[zooming]

Can you move? I'm trying to hide stuff from you.

- Pillows? Did you guys sleep down here last night?

- No.

- The last two nights.

- What? Why?

What's that on your arm, Billy?

- It's a recipe for the monster.

- "How To Make a Nora Casserole."

- Billy!

- Maybe you two sharing a room was a mistake.

Now you're sneaking down here in the middle of the night

and making stuff up?

- We're not making anything up.

There really is a monster.

- [poofing] Told ya.

[poofing]

- Okay, this has to stop.

No more monster talk, or we're gonna separate you guys

and have Billy sleep in the attic.

- Yes! And Nora, too?

- [sarcastic laugh] No! Are you even listening?

- You're right, Mom. We promise.

No more monster talk.

So, let's talk about the monster.

Obviously, we need to handle this on our own.

And there's only one solution.

- Move out west and live off the land?

- No, we catch that monster and take back our room.

- Right! Then move!

- ♪

- PHOEBE: [laughing] - Oh, this place is lovely.

- Only the best for you, Quinn.

Remember when you paid at Scrunchies'?

That's our thing now.

- I'm gonna check on a little anniversary surprise

I set up for us. - Aw...

- Which is less of a surprise now.

- [laughing]

I have the best boyfriend.

- Yeah, and to think the cab driver thought

Link and I were a couple. - [laughing]

Well, you were sittin' on his lap.

- I was just giving you room to fix your makeup.

But you're fine.

The lighting in here is very forgiving.

- BOTH: [insincere laughter]

- LINK: [laughing] What'd I miss?

- Not much.

- Come on, our table's ready.

- Remember the plan, Max, okay?

Make Quinn fall for you, so she'll lose interest in Link.

- You keep talking like we're in this together.

- I'm just trying to make her fall for me

so she loses interest in Link.

Now, time to put on the flirt face.

Step aside, 'cause this might get beautiful.

I call this one...

The Velvet Tiger!

[snarling]

- You sure that's not the, uh,

constipated kitten?

- [snarling]

- My, it is so humid out here.

It's a good thing I brought my pocket fan.

Uh, Linky, a little help?

- All right.

- ♪

- Okay, wrap it up.

It's a dinner, not a photo shoot.

- That's it, keep going. - [camera shutter clicking]

Give me the eyebrows. Look at the camera.

Love ya. Oh, nice.

- PHOEBE: [powers zapping] - MAX: Oh!

- Why don't we all sit down?

[laughing]

- Uh, how do I turn this fan off?

- Oh, it's easy. Watch.

- PHOEBE: Oh!

- Oops!

- Uh, did that mess up my hair?

- No. [laughing]

- So, Quinn, I'm really liking your mean streak.

I admittedly have a bit of one, myself.

- I have no idea what you're talking about.

- Our little secret. Got it.

- Good evening. I'm Rob. I'll be your waiter tonight.

- Hey, Robbie, why don't you tell us about the specials?

- I'd be happy to.

Our fish tonight is a tuna tartare with a--

- [powers zapping] - [speaking gibberish]

- I'm sorry, what was that?

- Uh, it's tuna tartare with-- - [powers zapping]

- [speaking gibberish]

I'm sorry. Would you please excuse me?

- [laughing]

I should get out more often.

- You should.

In fact, why don't you go on another date with Quinn?

Somewhere else.

Right now.

- What do you say, baby?

- Ew.

- Uh, hey, everybody, how about we toast

to Phoebe's and my anniversary?

Max, could you pass the water?

- [powers zapping]

- [water splattering] - PHOEBE: [gasping]

- Oh, Phoebe, that's too bad.

At least it wasn't one of your nice dresses.

- ♪

- Okay, let's review the plan.

The monster will enter the room--attracted by our bait.

- Pork sausages and a copy of "Monster Fashion" magazine.

- When he trips the trap, whoosh, the net falls on him.

- Then you zap the daylights out of him.

- Exactly. - But don't zap the magazine.

I still wanna see what those sassy Sasquatches

are wearing this Fall.

Let's do this!

- [creature snarling]

- Did you hear that? - Uh-huh!

- [loud thud] - [net drops]

- We've got him, Nora.

Now blast him into next week.

- BOTH: Chloe?

- Hi. - [creature snarling]

- Is that the sound your doll makes?

- What is going on in here?

- Chloe's the monster!

Blast her, Nora!

- Chloe's not a monster.

Chloe, what are you doing in here?

- My room's scary.

- Oh, I get it.

She's been teleporting under our beds at night

because she's afraid to sleep in her own room.

- Is that true, sweetie?

Are you afraid to sleep by yourself?

- Uh-huh.

- Aw, that's so cute.

Nora, take a shot!

- Sweetie, do you wanna sleep in Mommy and Daddy's room

for a little while longer? - Mm-hm.

- Well, Billy, looks like you have your old room back--

for a little while.

- But we love being roomies.

- Yeah, Nora blasts my toys in her sleep.

- Yeah, in my sleep.

- Look, Chloe, you can come stay with us

whenever you want.

- Geez, why do we need a five-bedroom house?

Why don't we all just sleep in the same room?

I was kidding!

- [creature/doll snarling]

- Ah, all dried off, Phoebe?

- Hey, Quinn, what're you doing in my chair?

- It's just so much more festive

when people switch seats during dinner,

don't you think?

- You know what? I do!

Which is why I think we should switch seats again.

[laughing]

Look at us being festive.

- Listen to me, wondergirl, I warned you.

Nothing can stop me from being with Link.

- I'm not afraid of you.

- You should be.

I can be very scary.

- Bug eyes? Oh, you are goin' down!

Link, I didn't wanna say anything

'cause I was afraid you would think I'm jealous,

but Quinn has been trying to steal you away from me.

Oh, and, status update--

she's an evil bug villain just like her parents!

- Evil bug villain?

Run away with me!

- Phoebe, why would you say such hurtful things?

- Oh, quiet, six-legs!

- Surprise crab cocktail for the anniversary couple!

- Oh, not a good time.

- I'll take that. Tiger's gotta eat.

- Phoebe, maybe your group anniversary date was a bad idea.

- It wasn't my idea, it was hers--

Quinny Bug-Bug!

- Maybe I should just take Quinn home.

- You don't believe me?

- Two mango salads.

- Excuse me a sec.

- MAX: [whining]

- Trade ya half-eaten crab legs for a mango salad.

Thank you. - Phoebe, what are you doing?

I was digging those crab legs.

- It's mango salad, Max.

If I'm right, Quinn can't resist the smell of mangoes.

- Really?

Then the Velvet Tiger has just found his scent.

- Listen, Quinn wants to go

and you're just not being quite yourself tonight.

- Aw, but you can't leave yet.

Quinn hasn't even had her dinner.

- [pincers clacking]

- PHOEBE: [gasps] - LINK: Quinn?

- [gulping plate of food]

- What is happening?

- Oh! Oh! I know!

Uh, see, this is the moment where you realize

your girlfriend was right about your friend being a bug villain!

- Uh...guys...

Quinn is kinda... lookin' at me funny.

- Oh, you're okay, Max.

They only go into a feeding frenzy when they smell mangoes.

- Well, that's bad because

I sorta just rubbed mango all over my face.

- QUINN: [slurping]

- Hot sauce.

- [gulping bottle]

[screeching, sizzling]

[screeching]

- Phoebe, I am so sorry I didn't believe you.

I ruined our anniversary dinner.

- No, you didn't ruin it.

Your two-faced bestie did.

- Well, aren't you two adorable.

I almost just got my head eaten!

- Of course, since Quinn now knows where we live,

I'm gonna have to hand her over

to the Hero League for memory wiping.

- QUINN: [sighing]

I'll never forget you, Link!

- Yeah, you will-- in about 40 minutes.

- Seriously? Still into Captain Boring?

Well, hey, guess what? I never liked you!

Yeah, you bug-eyed flyin' freak!

Heh. Heh.

So, does she have a sister?

- ♪

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