Original subtitles

- The key to stumbly stacks is concentration.

Now, everybody quiet...

While I--

- Mom! Dad!

- [laughs, screams]

crash!

- Shh!

We're playing stumbly stacks.

- So you know how you're always saying

you've never had a real vacation?

- And you never got any time off back in Metroburg

'cause of the whole superhero thing?

- And you could never really afford it

because of the whole "dad's way too cheap" thing?

- It's true.

I made this game from spare ceiling beams I found.

- But since you're retired now,

maybe it's time we all went on a vacation.

- It would be nice to get away together as a family,

have some fun, make some lasting memories.

- I don't know.

"lasting memories" sounds expensive.

- What if I told you there's a way we can do it for free?

- We're gonna fly on a giant bird?

- No, we can win a vacation.

- To a giant bird sanctuary?

- There's no giant bird.

- It's a school fundraiser.

Families compete against each other

in a bunch of different challenges.

It's the family faux-lympics.

- And whoever wins gets a dream vacation

anywhere in the world.

Here. Check it out.

- Well, that family does look happy.

- And just think, mom,

that could be our family vacation picture.

- Hey, how come that guy gets to wear socks with sandals?

- Because that guy's three years old.

- Look.

Winning will be easy for a team of superheroes.

- We're not gonna cheat and use our superpowers, Max.

- Totally agree...

Unless we're losing.

- What do you say, Hank?

- Come on, Dad, it'll be so much fun.

We never go anywhere. [all clamoring]

- I say...

Bring it in, team.

- Whoo-hoo!

ALL: Go, Thundermans!

[rumbling]

[loud crash]

- Spare ceiling beams?

- I'll go put these back.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in, bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ 'cause we're living our lives just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer, you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe, it's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- Good run, everybody!

- I've never run that slow in my life.

How do you people live like this?

- You have to practice running slower like normal people.

- Because that's what we are in Hiddenville:

Normal people.

[metallic clanking]

Starting now.

- Get used to the slow life, Billy.

Soon we'll be kicking back on the beach

working on our thunder tans.

- Actually, I thought we could use our vacation

to tour all the great castles of Europe.

- No way.

A vacation is supposed to be fun, not learny.

- Well, I don't want to go to the beach.

Jellyfish are creepy.

- Tell me about it.

Is it a jelly? Is it a fish?

Pick one, creep.

- Yeah, I have to say,

I'm with Phoebe and Nora on this one.

A castle adventure for the whole family could be fun.

- Oh, sure, if you're Lord and Lady Boring.

- Ha, good one, Hank.

- Well, if we can't agree,

then we're gonna have to take a vote.

- Who wants to go to a beautiful tropical island?

- And who wants to go see some majestic castles?

- Billy, you voted twice.

- Voting's fun.

- Billy, do you really want to spend two weeks in castles?

Have you ever even been to one?

- Good point.

Be right back.

Zoom!

- I know Billy.

He's gonna love castles.

Zoom!

- Castles are lame.

- Looks like we got one more vote for the beach.

- Then it's tied three to three.

Now what?

- Well, I have at least a dozen ways we can solve this.

- No explosives or wild animals, Max.

- I've got one way we can solve this.

I hold in my hand my latest invention:

The thunder ball.

- Thunder ball!

- I built it to melt the polar ice caps,

but without plutonium,

it's just a fun children's game that's gonna break our tie.

- Break our tie!

- Question.

Why is Billy dressed like a cat?

- Because Nora said we were all dressing as cats.

- Sometimes it's just too easy.

- So, Max, go ahead.

Explain this game that you probably rigged to get your way.

- Why is it so hard for you to trust me?

- Because you can't go a day

without putting a "kick me" sign on someone's back.

[paper rustling]

- [snorting]

classic.

Well, I promise, the thunder ball is not rigged.

We just try to take the ball from each other,

and whoever has it when the timer goes off wins.

- Can we use our powers?

- Any means necessary.

Okay, you guys ready?

- Ready!

That was the last one.

- All right, everyone,

first off, let's all agree

that I look fantastic in stripes.

- You look amazing.

- Thank you, Barbara.

You don't look so bad yourself.

Now, on go.

Ready.

Set.

Go! Zoom!

- Billy out.

Zoom! Smack!

Thud!

[groans]

Billy ow.

- Don't you mean "me-ow"?

- Come to Maxie.

- Lights out, Maxie.

- Huh?

Whoa! Crash!

[groans]

When did we get a cactus?

- Phoebe, catch.

- [laughs]

got it!

- Not for long, pops!

[lasers zinging]

- Ow!

Daddy, my leg.

- Ooh, sweetie, I'm sorry.

Are you okay?

[alarm droning]

- I am now.

- [screams]

whoo-hoo! - We win!

Castles, here we come.

- What? You tricked me.

You played the daddy's little girl card.

- Yeah, you cheated.

- Oh, come on.

You're just mad because you didn't think of it.

- Yeah, but you didn't--I was--

Colosso, say something!

- She used his love against him!

Hilarious!

- And you did say "win by any means."

♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

GIRLS: ♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

GIRLS AND BILLY: ♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

GIRLS: ♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

- Ooh, check out this castle in Germany.

It's got a working drawbridge and an actual moat.

- Ooh, and they let you eat with your hands

and sleep on a stone slab.

- Sounds like jail.

- Yeah, and European jail is not fun.

So I hear.

- Fine.

Maybe we'll go to this castle...

Ooh!

Where we can dress as peasants

and pick our own potatoes.

- Why are you guys even planning a trip

we haven't won for you yet?

- Excuse me?

You--haven't won for us?

- Yeah, we don't need your help to win.

I think we already proved that.

- Yeah, proved you can cheat.

"oh, daddy, help me."

[feigns sobbing]

- So now, because I love my daughter,

I got to see where the Duke of I Don't Care took a bath.

- If you're just gonna whine the whole time,

then don't come on our vacation.

- Yeah, or better yet, don't be on our team.

- Oh, no.

You're throwing us off team potato?

- Good luck winning without us.

- Oh, Hank, you are so immature.

- I know you are, but what am I?

- Good one, Hank-o.

- Let's get out of here before they think of a comeback.

[kids giggle]

- I kind of feel bad.

The guys are gonna miss such a fun day.

- Yeah, you're right.

We should send them a picture to rub it in.

Everybody say "drawbridge!"

GIRLS: Drawbridge!

- Oh, come on. Let's get signed in.

Hi. Team Thunderman reporting.

- The Thundermans.

Already checked in.

- What--we just got here.

- Then who's that over there taking a family selfie?

- Say "coconut!"

BOYS: Coconut!

- What are you guys doing here?

- Winning a trip to the beach.

Don't worry. We signed you in too.

Check under "s" For "secondplacemans."

- Very funny, Max.

- Oh! There you are.

Secondplacemans.

Nora, Barb, and epic fail.

- Guess which one you are. [chuckles]

- You're playing against us?

- You can't do that.

- What do you care?

You kicked us off your team.

- But, to be fair, when we win,

you're more than welcome to join us in the Caribbean, Mon!

[laughs]

- Dad, I thought we were going to Hawaii.

- We'll thunder ball that later.

- You know, when we win, you can join us at the castles.

I'll even buy you a little jester outfit.

- You're not gonna get me in some flashy costume.

- You're a superhero.

- [inhales]

point Barb.

- How are we gonna have a family vacation

if we're separated?

- I don't know.

But the real question is,

why aren't you wearing your puppy suit?

- [gasps]

we were supposed to wear puppy suits?

[groans] - [chuckles]

- Good luck today, ladies.

'cause we're gonna be on fire.

- Fire!

Yeah, that's right.

It's back.

[mimics flames whooshing]

- I'm gonna crush you out there today.

- Can't crush me if you're already crushed.

Hey, do you want to gummy fish?

- Thanks!

- Welcome, families.

I'm Principal Bradford,

and thanks to your entry fees,

my office can finally get the upgrades it sorely needs.

[chuckles]

Did I say "my office"?

I meant the library.

- You might want to stretch out

before we get started, there, Hank.

- I'm good, honey.

I bent down to pick up a nickel in the parking lot.

I'm already winning.

- Oops-a-doodle!

Looks like we got in the middle of a family circle here.

Apologies, friend.

- Oh, no, you didn't have to move.

We're actually split into two teams.

- Double the teams, double the family fun!

[laughter]

Paul Peterson.

This is my better half, Polly.

- I know, Paul and Polly.

Adorable.

And this is our son, Petey.

I guess you could call us three Ps...

In a pod.

[laughter]

- [wheezing]

[inhaler hisses]

- We are so gonna see castles. - We are so going to the beach.

- There are a total of 15 events today.

What?

15!

- You know there's no shame in giving up now.

- There is also no shame in spinning around like a dog

trying to get a "kick me" sign off your back.

- Hey, what?

[muttering quietly]

- I take it back. A little bit of shame.

- And so the three families

with the most points at the end of the day

come back for an obstacle course tomorrow.

Tomorrow?

Come on!

[applause]

The rules to this one are simple:

the last wrestler in the ring wins.

Any questions?

No? Fantastic.

[air horn blows]

[cheers and applause]

Smack!

- Hey, I'm Billy, the fighting marshmallow.

Attack!

- Big mama's coming for you!

[growls]

[roars]

[dramatic music]

♪--♪

[both scream]

- Finish him!

- Barb, those are our children.

You win this, Billy, or don't come home.

[both grunt]

Smack! [both scream]

[air horn blows]

- It's a tie!

Wait!

Don't help them up.

[chuckles]

Look at the--

[laughing]

Stop it.

All right, get 'em out of here.

- Good luck beating me in an eating contest, Barb.

Remember that all-you-can-eat shrimp place

back in Metroburg?

- That place went out of business.

- Exactly.

[laughs]

- Moms and dads,

you will all have to finish a plate full of

chocolate covered bugs.

[all groaning]

- Whoa.

No one said anything about eating bugs.

[air horn blows]

[cheers and applause]

- The eyeballs have a nice snap to them.

- Mmm!

Stink beetles.

Like crunchy rotten cheese.

- [gags] - Crunch!

- You know we started, right?

- Back off, Bradford.

Okay, Hank.

Oh, you can do this.

Crunch! Oh, no!

Can't do it!

- Done!

[air horn blows] - Winner!

[cheers and applause]

- Oh, ho-ho. That's better.

- Hmm. I think I have leg in my teeth.

- Not better.

Not better!

- Knock out ball.

The rules are...

Boring!

[air horn blows]

Smack!

Smack!

- [laughing] Hi.

Smack!

- Pheebs, wait.

I shouldn't even be here.

You guys won thunder ball fair and square,

and we're totally being sore losers.

- [scoffs] I'm not gonna fall for that.

- Don't believe me?

Take my ball.

Smack! - Whoa!

- Any means necessary.

[laughs] [air horn blows]

- Winner!

BOTH: ♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

♪ Win by any me-eans ♪

♪ Win by any ♪

- Now, I know we're tied for first

and there's still tomorrow's final,

but tonight, we don't compete.

We eat...

As a family.

Who's ready for some of my famous

electric spaghetti?

[electricity sizzling]

[steam hisses]

- Let's not forget my special thunder sauce.

[grunts]

- All right, I need you two to set the table.

- Table setting race?

- You're on.

[plates whizzing]

Done!

Winner, winner, spaghetti dinner.

- Ah, that's my boy!

- Now, Hank, you know Max only won

because he used his powers.

- That's the only way he could win.

- Just like the secondplacemans

to have a bunch of excuses.

- More like excusemans.

- Ooh!

- That's the way it's gonna be?

Fine.

Electrify your own spaghetti.

- Enjoy your dry noodles

without thunder sauce.

- Is dinner ready?

- Grab a straw.

We're taking the sauce to the garage.

- Ooh. - Mmm!

- Fine. We don't need your sauce.

- That's right.

Our pasta's delicious on its own.

- Isn't that hot?

- [coughs] - Extremely.

- So I'm just gonna go for a little pre-spaghetti stroll.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold on there, Hunger Games.

Where are you going with that bread?

- I always give Billy my garlic bread.

I was afraid to tell you.

You know, 'cause you hate the boys.

- Oh, honey, we don't hate them.

- They're drinking their dinner in the garage.

- Take 'em the bread.

- I think we just got schooled.

This competition was about winning a family vacation,

not breaking our family apart.

- Yeah, I don't know when competing became

more important than going on vacation.

And I wouldn't want to go anywhere without my hunky Hank.

- You thinking what I'm thinking?

- That I probably shouldn't have told you

I call your father hunky Hank?

- Yes, but...

Also we should just let the boys win tomorrow,

and then we can all go on a happy family vacation

like we were supposed to.

- You know, you're right.

I don't care if we're at a beach or a castle,

as long as we're together as a family.

And I can be back with my cuddly wuddly thunder bear.

You want me to stop, don't you?

- Please.

- Welcome to the obstacon...

Where our three remaining families

will compete for a free vacation!

Because they're willing to embarrass themselves

to save a few bucks.

- Oh, uh, Max,

you got a little something in your hair.

Let me get it.

Oh, just a piece of loser.

- What happened to letting them win?

- We can't let them know that. It has to look good.

- Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right.

- You're going down, Hank!

We're gonna crush you like the worthless

good-for-nothing bottom feeder--

- Okay, mom, I think they get it.

- My turn! My turn!

Billy has imaginary friends!

- I do not!

I'm sorry, Walter.

We'll talk about this later.

- Since the top two teams are tied,

they'll start at the same time.

The Petersons will start 15 seconds later.

- That's 15 extra seconds to hug my family.

- Teams ready.

THUNDERMANS: Ready!

[air horn blows]

- Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!

- Slow down, girls.

Don't get too far ahead.

- Ahh! It's got me!

- How did that even happen?

- It's the obstacon.

That's what it does.

- Losing this is gonna be harder than we thought.

- Let's keep moving.

Can't make it obvious.

Come on, Nora.

We'll throw you over.

- What?

Ahh!

- [grunts]

- Whoa! Thud!

- I'm coming over.

Whoa. Thud!

- Ah, finally, something easy.

- Come on. - Come on, dad.

[distant laughing] Thud!

- [laughing maniacally]

- It's time to take one for the team.

- Come on, come on, come on, come on.

Hee! Smack!

[cackles]

That's for stealing my weekend, you little--

[yelps] Smack!

Crash! Thud!

[boys muttering indistinctly]

- Later, ladies.

[laughs]

Let's go. - Go, go.

Go, go, go.

- Come on, guys, you're almost there.

Win this.

- Okay, boys,

time to tank this thing.

Oh, no!

We are tangled.

- How does that even happen?

- How will we ever win?

- What are you guys doing?

- We got tangled,

and it looks like you guys are gonna win this.

- No, no, you're supposed to win this.

- Supposed to?

- What she means is that you're gonna win

because we just...

Tripped.

- Whoa! - Wait.

Are you guys letting us win?

- Dad, I thought we were letting them win.

- You wanted us to win?

- Well, they did.

I wanted to crush you and send a postcard from the beach.

- We should have been one team all along.

We're a family.

- We thought so too.

We're sorry.

- So are we.

Besides, I would never want to go on a vacation

without my Barbie boo!

KIDS: Eww.

[all groan]

Come on, Thundermans, bring it in!

- Aww. - [laughs]

- Mwah!

- You know what?

We should win this thing as a family.

Beach or castle, it doesn't matter,

as long as we're together.

- That's right. - Absolutely.

- Okay, fantastic. We all love each other.

Now look behind you.

- [laughs] I can already feel

the Arctic winds of our Alaskan cruise!

- Run!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- The bow counts!

In an ironic twist,

the secondplacemans win!

[cheers and applause]

- Well, if we didn't win, at least that nice family did.

- Give it up, Paul.

- [laughing] I can't believe it.

The Thundermans won as a family.

[whispers] And we did it without using our superpowers.

[cheers and applause]

- So now that we're a happy family again,

why don't we flip a coin and see where we go on vacation?

- What are we, suckers?

My bow, my choice.

Castles, here we come!

GIRLS: Castles!

- All right. Castles.

- Do the castles. - It's a castle dance.

- Go, castles, go!

Who knew castles could be fun?

GIRLS: We did.

- All right, Thundermans,

quit your lollygagging.

Those potatoes aren't gonna pick themselves.

- We'll be right there, sir.

Just let us take this picture.

- [grumbles]

- I'm so glad I packed my peasant clothes.

- Okay, everybody, Say "drawbridge!"

ALL: Drawbridge!

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