Original subtitles

Zoom!

- They're coming! They're coming!

- Oh, places, everyone!

Okay, go, go, go, go, go!

- I thought you said they were coming.

- Give them a minute.

I am the fastest kid in the world.

- Morning, guys. - Hey.

ALL: Happy Birthday!

- Ooh, we get to blow out Mom's fingers.

[fingers zapping]

- Oh, trick fingers.

Man, we fall for it every year.

- [laughs]

Happy Birthday, babies!

One year older, one year cuter!

- All right, time to unwrap your birthday breakfast.

And remember, I get to lick the wrapping paper.

BOTH: Unwrap! Unwrap!

Unwrap! Unwrap!

- Ooh, smiley face pancakes.

BOTH: Eat the face! Eat the face!

- Barb, we all set for tonight's traditional

Thunderman birthday party?

- Mm-hmm, birthday cake shaped like a piñata: Check.

- Piñata shaped like a birthday cake: Check.

- Billy and Nora's puppet show...

BOTH: Check.

- And finally a preview of your birthday rap!

- We're still doing that?

- Drop me a fat beat, Barb.

- I guess we are.

- [beat boxing]

- ♪ A boom, a bap, it's your birthday rap ♪

♪ Put your hands together everybody, go clap ♪

♪ On this day in history, we celebrate the birth of Max ♪

- ♪ And Phoebe ♪

- Birthday breakdown.

[all beat boxing]

- Right behind you!

I think I'm having a birthday breakdown.

- I know. Me too.

We're getting too old for this.

- You can't break it down without your birthday hats.

- Oh, my wittle twinsies!

- No. - Definitely too old.

Ow, okay. - Stop it.

- No, not that. - No, stop it, no.

[both groaning]

[upbeat music]

- ♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in, bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ 'Cause we're living our lives just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer, you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe, it's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- [grunting and growling]

It's taking me forever to wrap your present.

Boy, I miss my thumbs.

- What are you doing down here?

- Hiding from the birthday madness.

Dad just put on his break dancing sweats,

and they're about 20 years too small.

- Ugh.

- When did we stop enjoying Mom and Dad's birthday stuff?

- Right after Mom dropped the "fat beat."

- Maybe--maybe it's time we have a cool party,

like the one Cherry had.

No silly hats, no piñatas,

and no break dancing butt cracks.

- Are you saying we should throw our own party

without our parents?

- Are you recording our conversation?

- Not anymore.

- We just need to get Mom and Dad to let us throw it.

- I can handle them.

We'll need rope for Mom,

titanium chains for Dad.

The cage is for the little ones.

- See, what scares me is, you have all that stuff,

don't you?

- Listen. I might be late to your party.

I have tape everywhere.

And I do mean everywhere.

- And so to sum up, Max and I are old enough

to throw our own birthday party.

It'll be at Wong's pizza palace.

And we'll only invite a few of our friends.

- But we're your friends.

- Our friends under 40.

- Well, I suppose if Phoebe's two-hour presentation

taught us anything, it's that they're not kids anymore.

And that we need a more comfortable sofa.

- But they are kids.

He's our Maxy bear!

And she's bumble-Phoebe.

Okay, I see what you're saying.

- So we can have our party?

- Well, I suppose, if you stick to the plan...

- Whoo! - Sweet!

- Oh, oh, okay.

- This is the best present ever. Thank you.

- Just to be clear, I still want actual presents.

- I can't believe they're growing up so fast.

- Guess we don't need this anymore.

Candy never grows up.

- What's this about no family party tonight?

- Yeah, we had a whole puppet show planned.

- Way to go, old man.

Sorry. Puppet Billy has anger issues.

- At least we still have Billy and Nora.

- Yeah, but how long before they grow up?

- Thanks for raising me, Mom and Dad,

but I'm out of here.

- I'm off too.

But I'll visit at Christmas

if my wife lets me.

- We can't let the years slip away

the way we did with Phoebe and Max.

- You're right.

We have to make every precious minute count.

- Yeah, okay.

- Hey, uh, Barb,

I could really go for a puppet show.

- Oh, me too.

Do we know anybody who can do a puppet show?

- Do we know anybody who could do a puppet--

Wait! we can!

- Oh!

- Yep, just me and three dummies.

[upbeat dace music playing]

- Fun party, birthday girl!

But, you know, I think

that there's actually something wrong with your bathroom.

- That's a photo booth.

- Ooh.

- We're doing it, Max.

We're throwing our own party.

- Yeah, it's a pretty good start.

- Oh. Hey, Mrs. Wong.

Thanks again for letting us have our party here.

- Of course! I like you.

I'm sorry, did I say you?

I meant your money.

More overpriced pizzas on the way!

- Uh, Mrs. Wong, let me help you out with those.

- Did you wash your hands?

[laughs] I'm just kidding.

It's only your friends. [laughs]

- More guests, Phoebe?

Somebody is getting ubes popular.

- I didn't invite them

or them

or those guys.

- More people.

Good thing I brought my name tag.

- So are these pizzas for us?

- No, my delivery guy is taking these

to the sweep the leg dojo.

They're made with cheese.

Yours are the ones made with "cheese."

- Hey, Max, there's a bunch of kids from school, but--

Whoosh!

- Why did you freeze Mrs. Wong?

- Were you about to tell me there's a bunch of kids

from school showing up that you don't remember inviting?

- Yes. - That's why.

We don't need Wong knowing

I invited the whole school to our party.

- But that wasn't a part of my presentation!

- Yeah, well, I added a page.

- "Freeze Wong. Invite entire school."

Wait; why is that stick figure yelling?

- Well, that's you when you heard my plan.

- That's a very accurate depiction!

- Look, I needed to make sure our first real birthday party

was the greatest party ever.

- By inviting the whole school?

That's a terrible idea.

- Phoebe, this is the greatest party ever.

- Even she gets it.

- Whoa, that is one creepy ice sculpture.

This party has everything.

Yeah! Ooh, ooh, ooh.

- [sighs]

I don't know about this, Max.

Oh, come on, pheebs. It'll be easy.

We just unfreeze Wong after the party.

It'll be like nothing happened.

- Rational Phoebe says, "No."

- Come on.

- But party Phoebe says let's go rock our birthday!

- All right!

[dance music playing]

ALL: Happy Birthday, Max!

- I may have forgotten to put your name in the invitation.

- Oh, no!

Sheepzilla's going to eat my faithful sidekick.

- Laser it, super Nora.

- Time to make some lamb chops.

[can hisses]

- This is b-a-a-a-d.

Ugh. [blows raspberry]

- The end.

- Ah! - Bravo! Bravo!

- Do it again! Do it again!

- But we've already done it twice.

- Well, not in high def, you haven't.

I'm getting the camera.

- Oh, hurry, Hank!

They're getting older!

- Thunder man, away!

[dance music playing]

♪ ♪

- My first real party.

Crowd surfing!

Thud!

Don't worry, guys. We'll get this right.

- Hey, Phoebe, help me get some more pizzas.

- Someone should tell Evan that no one's gonna catch him.

- Eh, don't worry about it.

- Crowd surf--

Thud!

I'm beginning to think it's me.

- I told you I know how to throw a rocking party.

BOTH: Where did you put Mrs. Wong?

BOTH: Where did you Put Mrs. Wong?

BOTH: Me? Stop that!

- We lost a frozen woman.

What are we gonna do?

- There's only one thing to do.

[both screaming]

- I don't get it.

Mrs. Wong was right here when you froze her.

How could she be gone?

- Oh, no.

I'm standing in a puddle of melted Wong.

Ah, no. Tastes like lemonade.

And everyone who's ever walked in here.

- You're in so much trouble.

You just had to turn her into a wongsicle!

Now Mom and Dad will never let us throw our own party again.

- We'll spend the rest of our birthdays

breaking it down with MC Barb and DJ double flush.

- We've got to find her.

She couldn't have just walked out of here.

Somebody had to have carried her out.

- Look.

All those pizzas are gone.

Maybe the deliver guy thought Mrs. Wong was an ice sculpture

and delivered her to the sweep the leg dojo.

- Then we should go there. It's our only clue.

Unless you want to keep licking the floor.

- Wait.

If we have to leave, at least let us leave

through the only party we may ever throw.

♪ ♪

- Max, we don't have time for this.

- [sighs]

- Oh, Phoebe, dance with us!

- Whoo!

- Phoebe, we don't have time for this.

[can hissing]

- This is b-a-a-a-d.

[blows raspberry]

- The end,

for the seventh time.

- Ah!

- [whistles]

- Stop clapping!

It's not that good.

- We love it, 'cause we love you.

We want to cherish these moments.

- Well, can you cherish the moment

of letting us eat dinner?

- All right, kids, go on and eat.

There's some leftover Mac and cheese in the fridge.

- Aw, look at them run with their little legs.

- These are the best times,

when they always want to be around us.

- These are the worst times.

- I can't stand being around them.

[high-pitched whirring]

They're behind us, aren't they?

- Just keep eating.

[gentle drum and strings music]

♪ ♪

[students grunting]

- Okay, there's Wong.

What's our plan?

[straw bubbles]

Did you have to stop for one of those?

- It's my birthday. I deserve a treat.

[students grunting]

- Okay, maybe if we ask the sensei nicely,

he'll let us have Mrs. Wong back.

He looks reasonable.

- All right, grasshoppers,

watch as your sensei breaks his own arm

and then resets the bone.

Ah!

[screams]

[grunts]

Yeah.

- You know what?

You froze Wong. You handle this.

- All right, mat rats,

before our pizza party, we must bow to the chosen one.

- Now's my chance.

I'll grab Wong while sensei psycho has his back turned.

- Legend says that she and her googly eyes will return

and inspire us with wisdom and--

Brendan, put down that stuffed crust!

Your parents didn't pay for your class this week.

Nothing gets past sensei Kenny,

especially some bozo trying to rob from my dojo.

- Uh... [laughs nervously]

Funny story.

Um, this is actually my ice sculpture.

I just didn't want to interrupt your weird pizza party.

- Who are you calling weird?

I'm an unlicensed karate master.

Brendan, break my finger!

Ah!

Put it back! Put it back!

Put it back! Put it--

[screams]

Yeah.

You still want to rob my ice sculpture?

- Please don't hurt...You.

I just want to take back what's rightfully mine.

- Okay. You have to fight for it.

- I can't fight you.

You're insane.

- You're not gonna fight me.

I have 27 broken bones.

Crack!

28.

Beginners class, circle of doom!

- Beginners class.

You know, I'll take on these tots,

but I'm warning you, I got fists of fury.

- Break some bones!

Make the googly-eyed chosen one proud!

[laughs]

- Ugh!

Whoa!

Ugh.

Whoa!

[grunting and groaning]

No! Get 'em off!

Get 'em off me! Ah!

Crack!

Ugh. Put it back!

Put it back!

[groaning]

- [laughing]

- [groaning]

[gong clangs]

- [laughing]

- Oh, get 'em off! Ow!

Brendan! Brendan!

[groaning]

- Can we go to bed now?

- Nope, it's family movie time.

- Well, at least they can't make this weird.

- It's the movies we took of you today!

- And they made it weird.

- Oh, no!

Sheepzilla's going to eat my faithful sidekick.

- Laser it, super Nora.

- [laughs]

remember when you did that?

- Yes, because it was an hour ago!

- You were so cute back then.

- Now look how cute they are

watching how cute they are.

- What is happening?

- They've gone full cray-cray.

- Oh!

The latest hip kid slang.

I'm so glad I got it.

- That's it. I'm going to the bathroom.

- Oh, cool. I'll film that too.

- Stop!

The bathroom is Billy time.

- We can't take this anymore.

- We're out of here.

Hop on, Nora.

Zoom!

- I can't believe we drove away our children.

Did you record it? - Every second.

- Ah! Let's go watch it!

[laughter]

- Oh, look, little...

- That's right.

Slap him in a hokey-pokey.

Whack his tramboozle.

Chop him in a dewabula!

[laughs]

- Stop!

I am the chosen one, and I have returned.

- The chosen one in a strip mall?

I don't think so.

- Behold my googly eyes if you dare.

- Oh, please.

Many people have googly eyes.

Look at my assistant Troy.

- Well, if I weren't the chosen one,

would I be able to do this?

- That's not very impressive.

- It would be if I were floating, like in the painting.

- Yeah, that would be cool.

Oh!

- It is you!

You are the chosen one!

Troy, you seeing this?

- Psst, Troy, over here.

- Everyone, kneel.

This is amazing.

Why are you here, great one?

Do you want pizza?

A free lesson?

You need me to validate your parking?

Brendan, get the stamp!

- No, I am here for the ice sculpture.

- Well, you can have anything you want.

You want a kid?

Brendan, get your shoes!

- That's a very generous offer,

but just the sculpture will do.

- It's yours.

- Yes.

- Oh!

The chosen one meant to do that.

- Hey, chosen one, will you get the door?

- On it.

Chosen one, out.

- Did you all see that?

You see that?

The chosen one was in my dojo!

Floating! [laughs]

I'm gonna put that on my flier.

I am.

Yeah.

- Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, ah.

You couldn't help me carry her?

- Hey, I am the chosen one.

- Well, the party train got derailed,

and I got beat up by a biker gang, but back in business.

- Biker gang? They were little kids.

- My birthday, my story.

Now let's get back in there.

Who's ready to party?

- Apparently nobody.

[sighs] Shoot.

14 texts from Cherry.

"Where are you?

"Great party.

"Someone brought a monkey.

"Who knew monkeys can dance?

"Ooo-oo, ee-ee.

Sorry, monkey took my phone."

BOTH: Oh.

"Best party ever.

"Cleaned up.

Happy Birthday, Bestie."

- Well, the good news is, we threw the best party ever.

The bad news is, we missed the whole thing.

- Talk about your birthday breakdown.

After all we went through tonight,

the only thing we have to show for it is a slice of pizza.

- With fake cheese.

- You know, none of this would have happened

if we had just stayed home with Mom and Dad.

- Yeah.

Their parties may be silly,

but they are kind of fun.

- Mm, and there's no biker gang there to beat you up.

Oh, by the way, keeping that lie is your birthday present.

You want to go home?

- Yeah.

I hurt everywhere.

- We should probably unfreeze Wong.

- Yeah.

- Okay, so whatever fun activity you want to do.

Totally your choice.

- Yeah, as long as we get to spend quality time together,

we are happy.

- Well, this is a big bowl of uncomfortable.

Adios, crazies.

Ooh.

- He's right.

We're a mess.

- Of course we are.

We miss our babies on their birthday.

- Hey, guys, how was your party?

- It went so fast, it was like we weren't even there.

Is it too late to do something here with you guys?

- Oh! - [shrieks]

- [clears throat]

- I suppose we could do something.

- Yeah, I mean, it's late notice,

but we could probably change our plans.

And don't worry. No hats.

No beat boxing.

- But what if we told you that's the reason we came home?

- Are you serious?

- [squeals]

Our babies are back!

- Drop me a beat, Barb!

- [beat boxing]

- ♪ A boom, a bap, it's your birthday rap ♪

♪ Put your hands together ♪

♪ Everybody, go clap ♪

♪ On this day in history ♪

♪ We celebrate the birth of Max ♪

- ♪ And Phoebe ♪

- ♪ He was a boy ♪

- ♪ She was a girl ♪

- ♪ Came into our lives and... ♪

BOTH: ♪ Changed our world ♪

- [beat boxing]

Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0