Original subtitles

- Morning, Thunder-fam.

Hey, Billy, I found our gloves, huh?

How about a little catch with the old man?

- No, thanks, dad.

Last time, you kept throwing the ball over the wall.

- So?

- The great wall of China, dad.

- Hey, dad, I'll play catch with you.

- Oh.

- Whoa.

Ooh.

- This is why we had Billy.

- Oh, there's my freshman class president.

- I haven't won yet, mom.

But I will once everyone sees this T-shirt.

- "Don't be dweebs, vote for pheebs."

- Is that the best you could do?

- You try rhyming something with Phoebe.

- "Vote for Phoebe, this shirt's a freebie."

- Dang it!

Anyway, I have made enough for everyone.

[gasps] And Nora gets a bow.

- My scalp is not a bus bench.

But that is one sweet bow.

- Well, I am so excited for you, Phoebe.

I know you've been dreaming about this day forever.

- I know, I wanna become the voice of my generation

and go down as the greatest freshman president

in the history of hiddenville high.

- And I just want you to be the voice of stop talking.

- You know what, I don't care as long as you help me today.

Here.

I need you and cherry

to ask me some questions after my speech to make me look good.

- "What are the fundamental challenges

facing students today?"

Oh, I can answer that--

staying awake during these questions.

- You know, when I become president,

I'll probably be so busy,

you'll barely see me for a whole year.

- Let's go win over some dweebs.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in, bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ 'cause we're living our lives just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer, you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe, it's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Living a double life ♪

- So don't vote for me

because I'm better than the other candidates.

"but they're terrible!"

no, no, no. let's be nice.

Vote for me because I'm the right candidate.

[applause] - Yay, Phoebe!

Whoo!

- Thank you, Phoebe.

Very moving, especially the first hour.

And now it's time for students to ask questions

while I play games on my phone.

- Uh, how about a question from...

You there, random schoolboy?

- Isn't that your brother?

- Do you really care? - Nope.

- "Being a good president means being able

"to juggle responsibilities.

What else can you juggle?" okay, nobody wants to see that.

After sitting through everyone's speeches,

I didn't hear any of you talk about things that really matter.

- You mean the things on your note card?

- No, things like why does the lunch lady have a hairnet

when the problem is clearly her beard?

- Can we please get back to the real issues?

Now, who likes juggling?

- Who's got time for juggling

when the bathroom has sandpaper instead of toilet paper?

- Yeah, he's right!

I wait till I get home.

- Yeah, and can't the janitor wait till after school

before he mops the stairs?

- [grunts]

- Mr. Janitor, put down that mop!

ALL: Yeah!

- These are the important questions that need to be asked.

And it is really fun to talk in a loud voice

and shake your fist!

ALL: Yeah! - Right!

ALL: Yeah!

Max! Max! Max! Max! Max! Max! Max! Max! Max! Max!

- Hey, guys, how was fishing?

- I wasn't really into it until dad got hooks stuck on his butt.

And I caught a bunch of rocks.

It was easy 'cause they're dumber than fish.

- Come on, Billy.

Let's go see if those rocks match the ones in your head.

[door closes]

- I don't get it, honey.

Billy doesn't want to play baseball or fish with me.

It's like we don't have our thing anymore.

- Hank, you're missing what's right in front of your face.

I mean, look.

- I don't wanna play with Nora.

She scares me.

- Not Nora.

He likes rocks.

- I like rocks.

Oh-ho-ho!

You're a genius.

Hey, Billy, so you're starting a rock collection?

You know, this one is formed

through the solidification of magma.

- Huh?

- You're losing him, Hank.

- And it's shiny when it's wet. - [gasps]

- yay, shiny!

- Oh, you're finally home!

Do we have a class president in the family?

- Yes, we do. - Ah!

- Me!

- Awkward.

- Wait, Max, you're the freshman class president?

You weren't even running.

- I know, I just said what was on my mind,

and next thing I knew,

the students voted me their supreme overlord.

- Class president, honey.

- Call it what you want, mom,

but it's a stepping stone to world domination.

Muah-ha-ha, muah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

- I want to be proud.

- Phoebe, you're okay with this?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Why wouldn't I be?

Max gets to live out a dream I've had since kindergarten!

- I don't think she's fine. - Okay.

- Well, she should be.

She got the second most votes

and gets to be my vice president.

- Well, that's nice too.

- Yeah. It's not all bad.

Vice president is a very important job.

- Just keep saying it till you believe it.

- Goal! - Max.

- Hold on, I'm not done.

Oal!

What's up?

- Why is there a foosball table in the student council office?

- Uh, because the pool table wouldn't fit.

Oh, hey, you're my vice president.

Do something about that.

- Or I could give you my ideas

that'll actually help the school.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, that sounds like work.

You're gonna have to schedule an appointment with my secretary.

- Who's dumb enough to be your secretary?

- I can fit you in for a walk and talk three weeks from today.

- Cherry? You're working for Max?

- I need this for my resume.

You think I can just waltz right into an online college?

- Oh, and, pheebs, check out the best part of being Prez.

I have my own personal flunky.

Hey, flunky, get on in here!

- What's up, Prez?

Is this lady bothering you?

'cause I wish she'd bother me.

- Well, I figured you'd treat your presidency as a joke,

so I came up with some ideas to better the school.

Here, I call it my three-pronged approach.

- Rolling backpacks?

- Textbooks are way too heavy. I mean, look at cherry.

- Healthy snacks in the vending machines?

- Who needs potato chips when you got kelp chips?

Mmm, kelpy.

- Hugs from the school mascot?

- Hugs raise school spirit.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

All hugs go through me first.

It's nice, Mr. President. Real nice.

- You know, Phoebe, this is just what we need.

- Really? - To get you out of here.

- You know what?

Fine, Max, your loss.

But principal Bradford's gonna want to hear your plan,

and you've got nothing.

- Listen, you're overreacting.

I don't have to come up with any ideas until--

- 3:00 Friday.

- Well, it's 4:30 on Tuesday.

Let's hear your ideas, Max.

- You're fired.

- Who rocks the party?

Your dad rocks the party.

- Whoa!

I've never seen anything like that one before.

- That's because it's from the moon.

It's a moon rock.

We should probably hide that.

- No.

No.

- Don't make eye contact.

- I'm glad you both are having fun,

but I'm gonna need you to get every single one of these rocks

out of my living room.

- Well, I believe it's our living room.

- Is it, Hank?

Is it?

- No, it's yours, all yours.

- [mouthing]

- Agent flunky is leading the golden goose to the courtyard.

Roger, Roger.

- Flunky, are you even talking to anyone on that thing?

- Yeah, bro, my security team.

Love you too, mom.

- Max, why have you been avoiding me?

- Today, or since I learned to walk?

- I'd never avoid you.

Licorice?

We can meet in the middle.

- Max, as your vp, I need to know

how your meeting with the principal went.

- I handled it. Check out the new mascot.

- That extreme raptor left me hanging.

- Because he's too busy bringing school spirit.

Raptors!

ALL: Raptors! Raptors! Raptors!

- And check out everyone's heavy backpacks.

Oh, wait, they don't have any.

- See, I convinced the principal

to make all textbooks available for download.

Genius? Pretty much.

- You rock, Max.

Without my backpack, I'm, like, 3 inches taller.

Hello, basketball team.

[glass shatters]

Why'd I do that?

- Oh, and let me guess.

You're putting healthy snacks in the vending machines?

- Nope, I'm replacing the vending machines

with a smoothie machine.

There's gonna be a big unveiling ceremony.

I can probably get you an invite.

- School spirit, healthy foods, backpack reform?

You stole my-- - three-pronged approach.

That's why people are gonna remember Max Thunderman

as the greatest class president

in the history of hiddenville high!

- That has always been my dream, sir.

- But it's my dream!

- Oh, yeah, I forgot.

Why'd you ever give up on that?

- 23, 24, 25.

Good set, bro.

- Max, how could you steal my three-pronged approach?

I should be the one unveiling that smoothie machine tomorrow.

- But you're the vice president.

Which is Latin for "not the president."

- No, it's not.

And I only know that because I'm vice president

of the Latin club.

- Look, the principal put me on the spot,

and I had nothing, so I gave him your ideas.

And since you work for me, your ideas are my ideas.

- Here's an idea.

You stink.

- He stinks of power!

[sniffs]

- Whoa! Power needs a shower.

- Are you really gonna let Max do that to you?

- You heard him. The vice president has no power.

I can't do anything.

- Except become president

if something should happen to Max.

- Please, Nora, I'm not in the mood for one of your devious--

what did you have in mind? - Mm.

Check out this article in Max's latest issue of evil teen.

- "Exotic Russian plant

guarantees a week of tummy trouble."

- Feed it to Max, and you'll become number one,

while he's going number two.

- No, I can't. I'm better than that.

- My boy wants you to hand-wash his running clothes.

Be sure to hit the pits.

- What page was it? - 42.

- Okay, I called Max and told him it was pizza night.

He should be home any minute. Start cooking.

Now all we need is the special topping.

It's been 30 seconds.

Why isn't Billy back from Russia with that plant yet?

- Sorry I'm late.

I went hat shopping.

Now if you'll excuse me,

I have to go do non-rock things.

- Hold on, Billy.

Mom told us to make sure you're not still collecting.

Search him.

- He's clean.

- Guys, I told you.

I'm out of the rock game.

Dad, rocks in the hole.

- Send them down quietly.

Your mom can't know we're hiding rocks down here,

or she'll be very-- ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!

Thanks.

- [sighs]

And now for the final ingredient.

Revenge!

Sweet revenge!

Oh, no.

I'm rubbing my hands together maniacally.

I've turned into Max.

[sighs] I can't do this.

- Hold up, angel.

I gotta taste all of Max's food before he eats it.

You know, in case it's poisoned.

Or delicious.

- No, no, flunky, you don't wanna--

- Mmm, mmm.

Pizza's good, Max!

Oh, but my tummy's not.

- Oh, I'm starv--whoa!

[screams]

- Max!

- Bathroom!

- [groans]

- Max, I'm so sorry

for not knowing you'd be home this early.

- Oh, my gosh, Max, are you okay?

- It only hurts when I answer stupid obvious questions.

- You're not gonna tell your mom we got rocks down here, are you?

- [groans] I'm not a rat.

- But I am.

Barb!

That's what you get for filling my cage with rocks.

And turning me into a rabbit.

- What were you thinking putting all those rocks in Max's lair?

- It was Billy's idea.

- Billy hasn't had an idea in ten years,

and he's ten!

- Wait, we're supposed to be coming up with ideas?

Why didn't anyone tell me?

- Hank, Billy, I need you to clear out all those rocks,

so my baby can have his bed back.

- One day, son, we're gonna look back at all this and laugh.

But don't try now, your new collarbone's still mending.

- Here, Max, I got you a card.

I am so sorry this happened to you.

- Don't be. It's not your fault.

- [chuckles nervously]

- The only bummer is, if I can't go to school,

I can't be president.

That, and my knee bends the other way.

- So what does that mean?

- It means I'm gonna run funny from now on.

Oh, oh, and you're the new president.

So you're gonna have to do the smoothie machine unveiling.

- I don't know, Max. It doesn't feel right.

- Hey, you're gonna be a great president.

Put on the sash.

- The sash of lies.

- What was that?

- Um, I said it's just my size.

I gotta go.

- That would have been funny if you didn't look like

a snowman on his invisible motorcycle.

- I blame flunky.

And myself for being friends with a guy named flunky.

- Yeah, that Russian plant hit him quick.

- What Russian plant?

- Uh...

- [screams]

Why'd you do that?

- I'm sorry, I panicked.

- You know something.

Spill it. - Never!

- I know where you keep your bows.

- Not my babies!

Okay, fine.

- Is everything set up?

- We are a go for revenge.

- Good.

When madam president goes to make the first smoothie,

it'll be anything but smooth.

- Good afternoon, students.

Before his tragic accident, president Thunderman

had a plan to bring healthy foods to the school.

But all improvements come at a cost.

So we say good-bye to the art teacher, Mr. Ferguson...

So that we may say hello to a smoothie machine.

[cheers and applause]

- Here to pour the first drink, the new president Thunderman.

[applause]

- Thank you, everyone.

We're all here to welcome proper nutrition

to Hiddenville High.

Max?

- That's right, Phoebe.

Pour me a frosty glass of payback.

- Go ahead, Phoebe. Do it for your brother.

And for me. I got a movie to catch.

But mainly for your brother.

- This isn't right. I don't deserve to be here.

- There goes my movie.

- This machine was my brother's idea.

And it's my fault that he can't be here

to make the inaugural smoothie.

- What is she doing?

- I think she's feeling bad for what she did.

It's kinda sweet.

Does she have a boyfriend?

- Oh, no, no, no. She can't do this.

If she feels bad, then I'll feel bad.

- So, Max, this smoothie is for you.

- And now I feel bad.

Push me.

Phoebe, wait!

[crash]

- Max?

Okay, I don't know what this is all about,

but I'm really glad you're here.

I need to tell you something.

- It's okay, I already know.

- I never meant for you to get hurt.

- Well, it's not like I didn't deserve it.

I stole your ideas.

- But you made them better.

You're actually a great class president.

And you should be making the first smoothie.

- [mocking] "You're a good president."

"No, you're a good president."

"No, you're a good president."

we're here to make smoothies!

[gurgling]

That doesn't sound very healthy.

- That was meant for me, wasn't it?

- Don't ruin the moment.

- I'm sorry I made you get rid of your rock collection

that maimed our child.

- [sighs]

- But there has to be something else you can collect.

- Like what?

- Stamps?

BOTH: No.

- Coins?

BOTH: Pfft.

- Shells?

BOTH: Do you even know us?

- Okay.

Well, what are you gonna collect then?

Lint?

- Dryer or belly button?

- Why not both?

- You know, there's a buildup of lint behind the dryer.

- I've got tiny hands.

- [laughs]

- Boys.

So gross.

Hey, I have tiny hands too!

- So we agree we're not saying anything

about the smoothie malfunction.

- Right. Twins stick together.

- Hey, kids, do you know anything about your principal

getting blasted across the quad?

- Every twin for themselves!

- [groans] - Max?

- You'll never catch me.

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