Original subtitles

- Max! [machinery whirring]

Max, I'm trying to study.

- What? - I'm trying to study!

- Hold on.

- What about pickles?

- No pickles.

You're making too much noise,

and I can't study for my class Math Bowl.

- The Math Bowl?

Is that where you flush away

any chance of having a social life?

- Says the guy who spends all his time

alone in his layer.

- I'm too busy for friends.

- So our dance parties mean nothing?

- In case you haven't noticed,

I'm trying to launch the max-10

into the stratosphere.

- Well, my Math Bowl is more important.

- Rocket is. - Math bowl.

- Rocket. - Math bowl.

- Rocket. - Fine, rocket!

- [gasps]

My baby.

I wanted to push that button.

- You still can.

It just won't do anything.

[upbeat music]

- ♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ We've livin' our lives just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- Yay, I got the prize.

- You snooze, you lose.

Ow!

- You take, you bake.

- Zap your brother, prize goes to mother.

Sweet. I always wanted a glow-in-the-dark...

Whatever this is.

- Unbelievable.

This is the sixth day in a row

my newspaper's missing.

Some miscreant is stealing it.

- What's a miscreant?

- What's a newspaper?

- You know, you move to a nice suburb

far away from metroburg, you'd think

you wouldn't have to fight crime anymore.

- You don't, Hank.

You're a retired superhero, remember?

- Yeah, well, crime hasn't retired.

It starts with my newspaper,

but then it's your expensive jewelry.

- Since when do I have expensive jewelry?

- Oh, so now I'm the bad guy.

- Just toast for me, mom.

I have to study for the Math Bowl.

- What is it with you and the Math Bowl?

- This kind of stuff will help me

get into Hero University.

And since I can't show off my superpowers here,

might as well show off my brainpower.

- Why? So you can get a sticker

that says, "I'm a mathlete"?

- Beats, "I'm a duh-lympian."

- Say what you want,

I'm still smarter at math than you are.

- Dad, who's smarter at math, me or Max?

- Yeah, right. Parents never answer questions like that.

BOTH: Phoebe is. - What?

- She is in honors math and gets a's.

And you get... The other letters.

- Well, at villain University,

they don't care about grades.

- Well, we do.

Tomorrow is report card day.

And if your grades aren't better,

we're taking away your doomsday devices.

Which we probably should've done

a couple years ago.

- Good luck with getting your grades up in a day.

- And good luck with the couch.

- What cou--ouch!

- I'll take them to school.

Can you drive Billy and Nora?

- No problem.

I'm all over it. Got it.

[door shuts]

Or, I could deputize you both as my sidekicks,

and we could catch ourselves a newspaper bandit.

- Sidekick?

This just became the happiest moment of my tender life.

[cheering]

Aah.

- I'm guessing you want a peak at your report card

before you parents see it.

Well, no dice.

Now, get to class.

What are you waiting for?

A ruler-smack on the butt?

'cause apparently that's "illegal" now.

[scoffs]

- All right, I'm going.

Hey, by the way, "Berman" comes before

"McDougal" in the alphabet.

Your folders.

- I was alphabetizing before--

holy duck sauce!

This isn't you.

Get your head in the game.

You picked the wrong day to give up coffee.

- Okay, thundermans, time check.

- 0500, sir.

Paper should be here any minute.

Paper's here, sir.

- Thanks.

Okay.

There is the bait.

Everybody clear on the plan?

- When I see the thief, I signal Billy.

Then Billy speed-wraps him in the garden hose.

- Wait. I thought we weren't supposed

to use our superpowers.

- I'm the one who's retired.

You two are in training.

[whispers] That's called a loophole.

Positions, everybody.

- Go, go, go.

- Mom?

You're the paper thief?

- I was jogging.

- Tell it to the cops.

- Hank, what if the neighbors

saw our kids use their superpowers?

- What kind of weirdo wakes up at 5:00 A.M.?

A beautiful weirdo, that is who.

Come here. Mwah. Mwah.

- We're home.

Did the report cards come in yet?

- [laughs] Since when are you

So excited about report cards?

- Hey, kids.

Looking for these?

BOTH: Yes.

- Now, remember, before we

open your report cards, we care just as much

about the effort as we do about the grades.

- No, we don't. - I know.

But we have to say that.

Okay. First, Phoebe.

Five as and one "B".

- A "B"?

Art class?

You guys love the horse I painted you.

- Oh, that was a horse.

- That's what that was!

Huh. All right, Max.

Straight as. - What?

- Is there another Max thunderman at your school?

- Max, I'm so proud of you!

Oh, you finally put aside all that

supervillain nonsense, and it really paid off.

- Someone was paid off.

- What can I say, sis?

We don't all need to study to get "gooder" grades.

- Are you hearing this?

- I'll be off, building my next rocket.

Because I earned it.

Because my report card spells, "aaaaaa."

and yours spells, "aaaaab."

- wait. there's more.

It's a letter, saying you're being transferred

to honors math class.

BOTH: What? - That's Phoebe's class.

Oh, you two can be little study buddies.

[squeals]

Let's put this on the refrigerator.

- Oh, and yours too, Phoebe.

It's the right thing to do. - Yeah, you have to.

- [sighs] Spill it.

- I changed my grades.

But I didn't expect this to happen.

- I worked my butt off to get into that class, Max.

You need to transfer out.

- Eh, sounds like a hassle.

I'll just sleep through it.

- Yeah, you may as well.

I mean, you couldn't keep up anyway.

- Excuse me?

- It's gonna be too challenging for you.

- Challenging?

There isn't a math equation

out there I can't solve.

- How about "you plus this class equals failure"?

- Okay, well, how about "you divided by

shut your mouth equals go away?"

[chuckles]

gotta work on my math slams.

- Okay, so as soon as the newspaper gets here--

- The paper's here, sir.

- Thanks.

All right, so I'm gonna place it here

on this giant sheet of sticky fly paper.

And then it'll catch the thief

in our gluey trap.

- Really? Fly paper?

That's all you got, thunder man?

- You know, some of the best sidekicks

are the quiet ones.

Okay, of course now I'm just gonna

adjust this a little bit, so it's--

oh, my hand.

[chuckles]

Uh. Uh, all right.

[grunts] That's my elbow.

All right.

[grunting] Oh, no, no, no, no.

Aah. Aah.

My face.

- Sad, isn't it, Billy?

Billy?

- Oh, my chest.

My elbow. My other elbow!

[all chanting "Phoebe"]

- Done.

- And a new record!

[cheers and applause]

- Phoebe, you're awesome.

I really hope we're on the same Math Bowl team.

I'm great at quadratic equations,

unlike some people.

- That was one time.

And it was a heavy pollen day.

- All right, class. All right.

Ah, very exciting news.

I have finally chosen our two Math Bowl team captains.

And the first team captain is Phoebe thunderman.

[cheers and applause]

And facing off against Phoebe is a new student

who begged me this morning in the parking lot

to be the other team captain, Max thunderman.

- Present.

- Max?

- And I brought cotton candy for everyone.

- [gasps] Ooh, cotton candy!

- I love cotton candy. - I want some.

[all chanting "Max"]

- Why does my brother have to ruin everything?

- That's your brother?

He is one prime number.

- Yeah. Zero. - Zero's not a prime--

- I know zero's not a prime number.

Really? Math bowl captain?

You said you were gonna sleep through this class.

- Oh, I already took a siesta in Spanish,

so I'm bueno.

Cotton candy?

- I know why you're doing this-- to mess with me.

You want me to fail, so I don't get into college,

and I end up in a shack living with 28 cats,

and wondering where it all went wrong.

Well, I won't let it happen, Max, I won't!

Oh, that is good.

- I just wanna crush you in the Math Bowl.

But if you're living with 28 cats, bonus.

- All right, everyone, take your seats.

- Max, there's a seat open by me.

Sorry, Evan, didn't see you there.

- Alert, alert.

Math nerds approaching.

[doorbell rings]

- Hey, guys. - Hi.

- Hey, Phoebe. - Come on in.

Oh, Ashley, thank you so much for filling in for Sarah.

She must be really sick to miss the Math Bowl.

- That's what you get for sharing a compass with Tyler.

- [sneezes]

[sneezes]

- Ugh!

- Oh, check it out.

I drew a team picture.

Drawing's kind of my thing.

- No, it's not.

- Well, well, well.

What do we have here?

- It's called studying, which leads

to team Phoebe winning the Math Bowl.

- Wow. Why didn't I think of that?

[doorbell rings]

Oh, yeah, I did.

Up top, brainiacs. - Yeah!

- What's up? What's up?

- Sarah?

I thought you were sick.

- I'm love-sick.

And the only cure is being on Max's team.

- Okay, let's go hit my lair.

- Lair?

That sounds dangerous. I should--

I should call my mom.

- This is gonna be a long night.

- [squeals]

Wow. That was like being sucked into a wormhole.

- Cool room, Max.

- Oh, it's a typical teenage bedroom.

- Oh, sweet!

- Hey, Evan, don't-- don't touch that.

- Why? Is this a real rocket?

- No, Einstein, it's a corn muffin.

- Who said that? - Uh, I did, Sarah.

[imitates Dr. Colosso] I like doing funny voices.

- This thing must need an incredible amount of thrust

to break through the inner atmosphere.

- Oh, it's a standard 30-kilogram rocket

and it requires 1,100 Newtons to achieve escape velocity.

- With a brain like that, our kids

are gonna be mathematical prodigies.

I mean, uh, cool room.

- Okay, sidekicks.

Early this morning, I planted a tracking device

on today's paper, so we can

trace the thief back to his hideout.

[horse neighs]

- Why didn't you just nab the thief

when he came and took the paper?

- I went back to sleep, okay?

Ooh, see that dot?

That is our missing paper.

It looks like the paper thief is right here in town.

- It looks like he's on this block.

- Um, it looks like he's in our house.

[both screaming]

- Okay, okay, calm down.

What do I always tell you when you're scared?

- "mom's meat loaf may look weird,

but it probably won't kill us."

- no. never fear.

Thunder man is here!

- Good morning. - Aah!

- All right, guys, ready to go.

- Hey. - Look who decided to show up.

Hope you brought your a-game,

because Phoebe is greater than Max.

- Well, I hope you brought your calculator,

because Max times awesome is geometrically--

man, I gotta work on these math slams.

- Here's the deal. When I win this,

you have to drop out of this class.

- And when I win, you have to wear this

for the rest of the year.

- [sighs] Done.

- Done.

BOTH: Pshh!

- Welcome to hiddenville high's

annual Math Bowl, Math Bowl, Math Bowl,

A.K.A. the only day I'm truly alive.

Math, ahh! Ahh!

Now, let's meet our two teams.

The trig monkeys... ALL: Yeah!

- And the algebrats.

[all cheering]

[fake applause]

Now, let's get today's questions,

courtesy of our good friend arithmo-tick.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[chuckles]

Thank you, arithmo.

Now, let's begin with our first question.

Name the theory that states, "if 'a' equals 'b'

and 'b' equals 'c', then--"

[buzz]

- The theory of transitivity. - correct.

Score one for the algebrats. - Yeah!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- If 'x' equals the square root of 1,369,

what the heck is 'x'?

[buzz] - 37.

- Correct. And Max's trig monkeys are on the board.

[fake applause] Next question.

♪ ♪

[buzz]

♪ ♪

[ding] [buzz]

♪ ♪

Oh, yeah, a tie.

Ah, love a tie.

Now, who can tell me--

what is the surface of a sphere,

whose circumference is 6 centimeters?

[buzz]

- Wait. I-i didn't mean to hit the buzzer.

My hand must've slipped.

- Oh, sorry. A false buzzer means

that the question goes to the opposing team.

- Uh, Mr. Pines, that was a super--question.

And Ashley didn't have the powers--to answer it,

because she gets shy in public.

- Yeah, I have no idea what you're saying.

- [sighs]

- Trig monkeys, still waiting on that answer.

Okay, looks like that question stumped everyone.

So, let's move on to the next question.

Who can solve arithmo-tick's equation?

[buzz]

- I got it. The answer is--

mmm. mmm.

[murmuring]

- Ooh, I'm sorry, those aren't words.

- Uh, you know what?

Maybe the stress is getting to you kids.

Let's take a five, and then we can settle this

with a sudden death tiebreaker round.

[menacing music]

♪ ♪

I'm sorry. My button's stuck.

[chuckles] I tested this all weekend.

- Okay, kids,

this is the only place we haven't looked.

The paper thief must be down here.

- I'm scared. Don't worry, honey.

I have tangoed with plenty of supervillains in my day.

- Yeah, but you're old now.

- Just follow the newspapers to--

- Dr. colosso?

- You've been stealing dad's newspaper?

But why?

- Number one, to read.

Number two, number two.

- My former archnemesis, I should've known.

- You may have turned me into a rabbit,

but I'm still a bad, bad bunny.

- No you're just a cute little bunny.

- Yes, you are. - Yes, you are.

- Ooh. Little--

- Stop it, stop it. stop it!

- All right. I'll tell you what.

We'll stop teasing you if you give me that sports section.

- As soon as I'm done with it.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Okay. I'm done.

ALL: Ugh.

- All right, guys, last one, tiebreaker.

- Max, you're gonna get us in trouble

for exposing our powers.

- I'll stop when you stop. - No, you won't.

- No, I won't.

Look, I was just gonna nap in this class,

until you said I wouldn't be able to handle it.

- Well, I'm sorry I said you couldn't cut it here.

Obviously you're great at math.

- Thank you. - But you've also managed

to ruin this class for me.

- This class? With those "nerdios"

and that freaky tick?

- Look, maybe you don't like school, but I do.

Max, you have a lair, where you

work on rockets and crazy inventions.

I have school, where I have clubs and friends.

This is my lair.

[epic music]

- And that sound means it's time

for the sudden death round.

Now this question can only be answered

by the team captains.

Now, you get it right, you win.

Get it wrong, you die.

- [gasps] - [chuckles]

I'm just kidding. You just lose.

That's all that happens.

Now, Max and Phoebe, for all the marbles,

who can tell me...

[timer ticking]

How many Newtons of thrust does it take

for a standard 30-kilogram rocket

to achieve escape velocity?

[buzz]

Max? - You know this.

- It's perfect.

- Huh? Hey, tick is ticking.

- The answer is 11--

11--

eleventy-seven?

- Eleven-- [stammering]

That's not even a thing.

Which--which means that

the algebrats are the winners.

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, Max. - Hey.

- I just wanna say that I know

you got that last question wrong on purpose.

- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.

- Fine, I did, but only so I could

get out of your class of nerdlings,

and back to my old one--

numbers and stuff.

- Well, it was still a really nice thing to do.

- Whatever. It's not like you knew the answer anyway.

- Yes, did. - No, you didn't.

- Ugh. I knew you would ruin this moment.

And don't say, "no, you didn't,"

because you will regret it.

- No, you didn't.

- That's it.

Hit it, guys.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [sneezes]

♪ ♪

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