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1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:03,880
[Crow caws]
2
00:00:06,111 --> 00:00:07,577
Dad, I need your opinion on this.
3
00:00:07,679 --> 00:00:08,812
I finally figured out
4
00:00:08,881 --> 00:00:10,592
why there are only three people
in Font Club.
5
00:00:10,616 --> 00:00:11,915
Because it's Font Club?
6
00:00:11,984 --> 00:00:14,484
Exactly... It's a "Club,"
not an "Activity."
7
00:00:14,586 --> 00:00:15,986
But I petitioned the school
8
00:00:16,088 --> 00:00:17,587
to grant Font Club "Activity" status,
9
00:00:17,689 --> 00:00:19,422
so now kids can get
community-service credit
10
00:00:19,491 --> 00:00:20,690
if they join.
11
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,679
Now, let me walk you through
the different fonts.
12
00:00:22,728 --> 00:00:24,561
I suggest you close your eyes
between each one
13
00:00:24,663 --> 00:00:26,316
as a palate cleanser.
14
00:00:26,390 --> 00:00:27,934
How 'bout I close my eyes
for all of 'em?
15
00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:29,324
Now, the first font in contention
16
00:00:29,426 --> 00:00:31,226
is Caviar Dreams...
17
00:00:31,328 --> 00:00:32,928
clean, modern...
18
00:00:32,997 --> 00:00:34,363
[Cellphone rings]
19
00:00:34,431 --> 00:00:36,509
Frankie: See, normally,
Mike would jump at the chance
20
00:00:36,533 --> 00:00:39,601
to escape Brick's droning
with a phone call.
21
00:00:39,703 --> 00:00:41,136
But this call was from Sue,
22
00:00:41,205 --> 00:00:43,905
who lately kept calling him
wanting to chat.
23
00:00:43,941 --> 00:00:47,542
And the only thing Mike hated
more than droning was chatting.
24
00:00:47,611 --> 00:00:52,302
Suddenly, I realized I was
wearing two different socks.
25
00:00:52,394 --> 00:00:53,927
[Laughs]
26
00:00:54,010 --> 00:00:55,109
So, what's new with you?
27
00:00:55,178 --> 00:00:57,445
Same.
28
00:00:57,514 --> 00:01:00,081
Sue: And then I just think
"Where do I fit in this world?"
29
00:01:00,149 --> 00:01:02,149
'Cause some days,
I feel like I'm special,
30
00:01:02,217 --> 00:01:04,651
but then I think, "Who am I to
even think that I'm special?"
31
00:01:04,753 --> 00:01:06,520
Doesn't everyone think they're special?
32
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:08,522
- Do you thinkyou're special?
- Nope.
33
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:11,024
- [Cellphone rings]
- Flamenco is a font top-five for me.
34
00:01:11,093 --> 00:01:12,526
It's a bit randy, and I don't want
35
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,294
to promise anything I can't deliver.
36
00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:17,160
I need to talk to you
about my ovaries. - Uh...
37
00:01:17,262 --> 00:01:19,093
I'm going back in for more fonts.
38
00:01:20,887 --> 00:01:22,153
I have to go in tomorrow.
39
00:01:22,188 --> 00:01:24,148
The doctor wants me to do
an ultrasound, remember?
40
00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:25,223
Yeah, I remember.
41
00:01:25,325 --> 00:01:27,258
- You don't remember.
- Yeah, I don't remember.
42
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,428
You know, I find talking to you
less and less enjoyable.
43
00:01:30,530 --> 00:01:32,864
Tell Sue... Why does she
keep calling me?
44
00:01:32,966 --> 00:01:34,332
She doesn't have anything to say.
45
00:01:34,434 --> 00:01:36,200
She just wants to chat,
and I hate chatting.
46
00:01:36,302 --> 00:01:37,869
Well, she's not dating anyone right now.
47
00:01:37,937 --> 00:01:40,304
You're kind of her boyfriend substitute.
48
00:01:41,741 --> 00:01:43,461
Let's go back to talking
about your ovaries.
49
00:01:47,547 --> 00:01:48,980
Turns out, given the choice
50
00:01:49,082 --> 00:01:52,083
between feeding old people
and meeting at Font Club,
51
00:01:52,185 --> 00:01:53,785
Font Club gave you the most bang
52
00:01:53,887 --> 00:01:56,154
for your community-service buck.
53
00:01:56,256 --> 00:01:57,288
Hello, all.
54
00:01:57,390 --> 00:01:58,790
Welcome to Font Club.
55
00:01:58,892 --> 00:02:00,825
So, I thought it'd be a nice icebreaker
56
00:02:00,894 --> 00:02:04,157
to go around and have everybody
say their favorite font.
57
00:02:04,864 --> 00:02:05,763
Yeah.
58
00:02:05,865 --> 00:02:07,632
Can you sign my community service?
59
00:02:07,701 --> 00:02:09,901
[Sighs] Okay, I know
some of you are just here
60
00:02:10,003 --> 00:02:13,104
for community-service credit,
but if you'll give me a chance,
61
00:02:13,206 --> 00:02:15,940
I'll show you fonts
can change your life.
62
00:02:16,009 --> 00:02:18,776
You know what'd change my life?
If you gave us all pillows.
63
00:02:18,878 --> 00:02:20,198
'Cause you're putting me to sleep.
64
00:02:20,246 --> 00:02:21,446
[Laughter]
65
00:02:21,548 --> 00:02:22,980
Oh, that's funny?
66
00:02:23,049 --> 00:02:24,682
Well, let's see how funny it is
67
00:02:24,751 --> 00:02:26,471
when you write a letter
to the girl you love
68
00:02:26,553 --> 00:02:28,419
and you need to choose between Windsong
69
00:02:28,521 --> 00:02:29,687
and Herr von Muellerhoff,
70
00:02:29,789 --> 00:02:31,656
and you choose wrong
and lose her forever.
71
00:02:31,725 --> 00:02:33,491
Well, I wouldn't choose either of those.
72
00:02:33,593 --> 00:02:37,028
I'd go with Pinyon Script,
and I think you know why.
73
00:02:38,565 --> 00:02:40,465
I do!
74
00:02:42,402 --> 00:02:44,268
Who gave you a key?
75
00:02:44,370 --> 00:02:46,170
I had one made.
You can pay me back later.
76
00:02:46,272 --> 00:02:48,573
I brought someone here to see you.
77
00:02:48,675 --> 00:02:50,575
Hey, there, Suzy Q.
78
00:02:50,677 --> 00:02:52,610
Oh, Sean! Aah!
79
00:02:52,712 --> 00:02:54,078
What are you doing here?
80
00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:56,748
Well, I had an interview
at IU for med school.
81
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:59,183
I just thought I'd drop in
and see my favorite Hecks.
82
00:02:59,285 --> 00:03:01,352
Don't tell the rest
of your family I said that.
83
00:03:01,454 --> 00:03:03,321
- I love all you guys.
- Aww.
84
00:03:03,423 --> 00:03:05,301
Well, sounds like you two
have a lot to catch up on.
85
00:03:05,325 --> 00:03:07,058
I'm gonna use your steam shower.
86
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:08,437
Do you have that conditioner
I asked for?
87
00:03:08,461 --> 00:03:09,660
I can't use what you'll use,
88
00:03:09,729 --> 00:03:12,563
'cause I don't want my hair
to look like... that.
89
00:03:13,933 --> 00:03:16,200
Toast me a bagel in seven minutes.
90
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,849
[Sighs]
91
00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,984
Well, I'm fine.
92
00:03:23,086 --> 00:03:24,285
You sound great.
93
00:03:24,354 --> 00:03:26,087
No, I am.
94
00:03:26,189 --> 00:03:27,789
My ovaries are fine.
95
00:03:27,891 --> 00:03:30,825
Unfortunately, they're like raisins.
96
00:03:30,927 --> 00:03:33,395
And not the cute, plump California ones
97
00:03:33,497 --> 00:03:35,230
that dance and wear gloves.
98
00:03:35,332 --> 00:03:39,067
They're like the hard,
shriveled, sad, deformed ones
99
00:03:39,169 --> 00:03:41,670
in the Raisin Flakes we get
from the Frugal Hoosier.
100
00:03:41,772 --> 00:03:43,338
Well, this can't be a shock, Frankie.
101
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,440
- I mean, you are 50...
- I know what I am, thanks.
102
00:03:45,509 --> 00:03:46,786
[Exhales sharply] You don't get it.
103
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,610
Because they don't
shut men's factories downs.
104
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,779
They only shut women's factories down.
105
00:03:50,881 --> 00:03:51,613
What factories?
106
00:03:51,682 --> 00:03:53,014
This factory.
107
00:03:53,116 --> 00:03:54,683
I mean, I liked knowing it was open.
108
00:03:54,751 --> 00:03:56,317
Now it's all red-tagged and padlocked
109
00:03:56,420 --> 00:03:58,887
with bulldozers in the parking lot.
110
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:02,557
I feel like anything I say here
is gonna be wrong,
111
00:04:02,626 --> 00:04:06,895
so... you want to just hug me?
112
00:04:15,205 --> 00:04:17,639
Mike: Shut your eyes, Frankie.
I got a surprise for you.
113
00:04:17,741 --> 00:04:21,203
Hey, baby. I got you a baby.
114
00:04:22,471 --> 00:04:23,571
I don't understand.
115
00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:25,906
Nothing to understand... got you a baby.
116
00:04:26,008 --> 00:04:27,441
What do you mean, you got me a baby?
117
00:04:27,510 --> 00:04:29,977
It's Dierdre's.
She's letting us borrow it.
118
00:04:30,079 --> 00:04:31,456
I forgot to ask
whether it's a boy or a girl,
119
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,113
but I figure we'll find out eventually.
120
00:04:33,182 --> 00:04:35,783
What? Why are we watching it?
121
00:04:35,885 --> 00:04:37,095
Well, she was supposed to go out,
122
00:04:37,119 --> 00:04:39,853
but her mom had some fake dizzy spell,
123
00:04:39,956 --> 00:04:41,965
but she was all dressed up,
so I felt bad.
124
00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,190
She was wearing clunky jewelry.
125
00:04:43,224 --> 00:04:44,635
I don't know what that is,
but she made it seem
126
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,779
- like it's a big deal.
- And you just offered to babysit?
127
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:48,828
- Why do you sound angry?
- Because I am angry!
128
00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:49,941
You said you wanted a baby.
129
00:04:49,965 --> 00:04:51,464
- No, I didn't!
- Yes, you did.
130
00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:53,533
You were upset about your
dried-out ovaries,
131
00:04:53,602 --> 00:04:55,568
and you wished you could
have a baby, so...
132
00:04:55,604 --> 00:04:57,003
[High-pitched] got you a baby!
133
00:04:57,105 --> 00:04:59,138
I wished I could still have
a baby if I wanted to,
134
00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:00,240
but I don't want to.
135
00:05:00,308 --> 00:05:01,374
Take that baby back.
136
00:05:01,443 --> 00:05:03,009
I can't take the baby back.
137
00:05:03,111 --> 00:05:04,711
I promised Dierdre we'd watch it.
138
00:05:04,813 --> 00:05:06,279
Damn it! I had plans tonight.
139
00:05:06,381 --> 00:05:08,982
I was gonna watch "Outlander"
and eat my frosting sandwich.
140
00:05:09,084 --> 00:05:11,517
And have you forgotten
how much work babies are, huh...
141
00:05:11,620 --> 00:05:13,186
all the crying and feeding them
142
00:05:13,288 --> 00:05:14,650
and diapering them?
143
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,847
I spent my entire 30s
144
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,327
with my hands smelling like butt cream.
145
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:19,262
I would eat a cookie and think,
"What's that weird smell?
146
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,919
- Oh, yeah, butt cream."
- [Baby coos]
147
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:22,632
[Singsong] Doo-dee, doo-dee,
doo-dee, doo. [Sighs]
148
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,357
Fine. When are they getting home?
149
00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:27,192
- [Normal voice] Tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?!
150
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:28,994
Her husband got her Brad Paisley tickets
151
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:30,096
for their anniversary.
152
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,363
Now, that's a good present.
153
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:32,998
[Baby cries]
154
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,968
[Sighs]
155
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,661
And then I think
"Where do I fit in this world?"
156
00:05:41,716 --> 00:05:43,816
'Cause some days I feel
like I'm special,
157
00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:46,819
but then I think, "Who am I to
even think that I'm special?"
158
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:49,388
- You know? Do you feel special?
- Hmm.
159
00:05:49,490 --> 00:05:52,425
You know, in my anatomy class,
we read about this new study,
160
00:05:52,527 --> 00:05:53,859
and even in identical twins
161
00:05:53,928 --> 00:05:56,362
where all the genes are
supposed to be exactly alike,
162
00:05:56,464 --> 00:05:58,764
there's this "X" factor
that makes them different.
163
00:05:58,866 --> 00:05:59,983
It's like snowflakes...
164
00:06:00,008 --> 00:06:01,754
no two people are exactly the same.
165
00:06:01,822 --> 00:06:04,586
But even if I never read that,
I'd know that you, Suzy Q,
166
00:06:04,654 --> 00:06:06,539
are a very special snowflake.
167
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,885
You know, it is so great to hear things
168
00:06:09,987 --> 00:06:11,220
from a guy's perspective.
169
00:06:11,288 --> 00:06:13,455
My dad isn't much of a talker, you know?
170
00:06:13,524 --> 00:06:15,624
And Axl isn't always very sensitive.
171
00:06:25,169 --> 00:06:27,569
- Hey.
- Hi.
172
00:06:27,671 --> 00:06:29,204
Hi! [Giggles]
173
00:06:29,273 --> 00:06:31,740
Oh, sorry. Uh... Lexie,
this is Sean Donahue.
174
00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,542
Sean, this is my roommate Lexie.
175
00:06:33,611 --> 00:06:35,974
Donahue... Wait. I know that name.
176
00:06:36,043 --> 00:06:38,305
Your mom sends Sue those care packages.
177
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,407
Tell her her scones are amazing.
178
00:06:40,475 --> 00:06:42,115
Yeah, yeah, she'll tell you
it's the love,
179
00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:43,488
but it's really
the five pounds of butter.
180
00:06:43,512 --> 00:06:44,578
[Laughs]
181
00:06:44,646 --> 00:06:45,912
Is my right hand bleeding,
182
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:47,926
'cause it feels like blood,
but I can't really see.
183
00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:50,684
You know, uh, Axl and I were
gonna go grab some food later.
184
00:06:50,752 --> 00:06:51,785
You should come.
185
00:06:51,887 --> 00:06:53,386
I mean, you should both come.
186
00:06:53,488 --> 00:06:55,589
Oh. Sounds great.
187
00:07:03,565 --> 00:07:06,399
- [Baby cries]
- Come on, baby, look at the keys!
188
00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,234
[Inhales sharply] Look at the keys!
189
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:09,736
[Sternly] Look at the keys.
190
00:07:09,805 --> 00:07:10,937
[Door shuts]
191
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:14,851
Well, we got a great turnout
at Font Club.
192
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:16,375
Unfortunately, most of the kids
193
00:07:16,444 --> 00:07:17,810
are just in it for the credit.
194
00:07:17,845 --> 00:07:19,945
But there is this one guy, Gibson.
195
00:07:20,047 --> 00:07:21,413
He's a savant.
196
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:23,482
He's a font savant. He's a safont!
197
00:07:23,551 --> 00:07:25,851
Brick, you're on your own
for dinner tonight.
198
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,453
I just got to raise my game.
199
00:07:27,555 --> 00:07:29,321
I got too relaxed...
200
00:07:29,390 --> 00:07:31,490
You know, a little sloppy,
a little lazy.
201
00:07:31,592 --> 00:07:32,791
So this is good.
202
00:07:32,893 --> 00:07:34,793
It's like when
a new sports star comes in
203
00:07:34,862 --> 00:07:37,509
and forces the established
sports star to up his sport.
204
00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:39,715
That's right!
That's what I'm talking about.
205
00:07:39,817 --> 00:07:41,250
[Laughs]
206
00:07:41,319 --> 00:07:42,930
I'm gonna check out
the new font websites,
207
00:07:42,954 --> 00:07:44,887
see what the kids are using these days.
208
00:07:44,956 --> 00:07:46,355
Who's the bald guy?
209
00:07:46,457 --> 00:07:47,890
It's the neighbors' baby.
210
00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:49,325
Ah.
211
00:07:49,394 --> 00:07:51,634
I knew it wasn't yours, 'cause
of your shriveled ovaries.
212
00:07:52,030 --> 00:07:53,729
The walls are very thin here, Mom.
213
00:07:53,831 --> 00:07:56,532
[Crying continues]
214
00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:57,967
Look at you.
215
00:07:58,036 --> 00:08:00,369
Can't believe you've already
been married and divorced.
216
00:08:00,471 --> 00:08:02,004
Now you're dating your ex-wife?
217
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,406
You're such a playa.
218
00:08:03,474 --> 00:08:06,275
Well, yeah, I'm a playa.
Or it's just weird.
219
00:08:06,377 --> 00:08:07,377
I don't know.
220
00:08:07,412 --> 00:08:08,744
Yeah, how exactly does that work?
221
00:08:08,846 --> 00:08:10,424
I don't know.
We see each other when we can.
222
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,615
There's no real rules.
I don't know what I'm doing.
223
00:08:12,717 --> 00:08:14,016
Well, as long as you're happy.
224
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,951
Yeah, that's why we got divorced.
225
00:08:16,054 --> 00:08:17,253
We were happy.
226
00:08:17,355 --> 00:08:18,666
So, listen, uh... why didn't you tell me
227
00:08:18,690 --> 00:08:20,122
Sue had such a hot roommate?
228
00:08:20,224 --> 00:08:22,002
I would've come down
a lot sooner. [Chuckles]
229
00:08:22,026 --> 00:08:23,726
Oh. I, uh...
230
00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:32,702
I heard they have great onion rings.
231
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,327
Brick decided he needed to study fonts
232
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,021
in their purest form...
on the written page.
233
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,980
So he went to buy some paper.
234
00:08:44,015 --> 00:08:48,451
And, for no apparent reason,
a Flip Wilson DVD.
235
00:08:50,221 --> 00:08:52,889
[Western music plays]
236
00:08:52,957 --> 00:08:55,391
[Whip cracks]
237
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:57,193
[Whip cracks]
238
00:08:57,295 --> 00:08:59,128
[Bird screeches]
239
00:09:01,966 --> 00:09:03,966
[Wind gusts]
240
00:09:13,878 --> 00:09:14,911
[Music fades]
241
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:16,821
Gibson.
242
00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:18,656
Funny seeing you in aisle F,
243
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,892
which is in the Bookman Old Style font.
244
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:23,234
- Not surprised to see you here.
- Mm.
245
00:09:23,270 --> 00:09:24,696
Looking for something
to put on that burn
246
00:09:24,764 --> 00:09:27,050
I laid on you this afternoon?
247
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:30,694
No one walks into my Font Club
and shows me up.
248
00:09:30,796 --> 00:09:32,368
Looks like someone just did.
249
00:09:32,470 --> 00:09:33,538
[Sighs]
250
00:09:33,606 --> 00:09:36,207
There's not room enough
in Font Club for the both of us.
251
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,368
So let's settle this like men.
252
00:09:38,453 --> 00:09:40,787
We pull boxes of the same
feminine-hygiene product
253
00:09:40,856 --> 00:09:42,021
and call the font on the back.
254
00:09:42,124 --> 00:09:43,423
I win...
255
00:09:43,525 --> 00:09:44,991
you're out of the club.
256
00:09:50,332 --> 00:09:51,598
- Open Sans!
- Open Sans!
257
00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,006
- Graviola Soft!
- Graviola Soft!
258
00:10:06,782 --> 00:10:09,400
Guilder Free Italic.
259
00:10:15,309 --> 00:10:17,509
[Melancholy western music plays]
260
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,797
...so I hope with five interviews
261
00:10:23,899 --> 00:10:24,839
at different med schools,
262
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,126
at least one of them will like me.
263
00:10:26,150 --> 00:10:27,316
With that smile?
264
00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,430
I'm willing to bet at least
two of them will like you.
265
00:10:29,454 --> 00:10:31,587
Well, while you're
interviewing for schools,
266
00:10:31,689 --> 00:10:33,489
I'll be interviewing for actual jobs
267
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,969
where they give me money. [Laughs]
268
00:10:34,993 --> 00:10:36,470
Good, you're gonna need it
to pay my bill
269
00:10:36,494 --> 00:10:37,593
when I'm your doctor.
270
00:10:37,662 --> 00:10:39,073
Well, you're gonna need to pay my bill
271
00:10:39,097 --> 00:10:40,830
when I'm your businessman.
272
00:10:41,966 --> 00:10:43,666
So, I've been sitting here
this whole time
273
00:10:43,735 --> 00:10:46,202
just looking at you and thinking
you look like someone,
274
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:49,071
and now I know who... Snow White.
275
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:51,427
You've been staring at me
this whole dinner,
276
00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:52,728
and the best you can come up with
277
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:54,318
is a cartoon character?
278
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,953
A very pretty cartoon character.
279
00:10:56,022 --> 00:10:57,688
I was Belle for Halloween once!
280
00:10:57,790 --> 00:11:00,057
[Awkward laughing]
281
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,025
[Thud]
282
00:11:01,127 --> 00:11:03,728
Oops! You dropped your fork.
283
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,599
So, Sean? Are you guys like...?
284
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,001
What?! No!
285
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,535
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
286
00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:13,304
He's like an older brother to me.
287
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:14,872
So you wouldn't mind if I...?
288
00:11:14,974 --> 00:11:16,273
Pbht!
289
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:17,441
Sorry. I spit on you.
290
00:11:17,543 --> 00:11:19,210
That is how strongly I wouldn't mind.
291
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:21,545
Of course not. You go for it, girl.
292
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,681
- [Squeals]
- [Giggles]
293
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:27,151
Look at this.
My breadstick is a moustache.
294
00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:28,486
Right?
295
00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:32,585
So, Sean, which out of the five
schools is your favorite?
296
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,125
Uh, well, I love Duke.
297
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,693
They've got a great Med-Peds program,
298
00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:37,128
and they have killer architecture.
299
00:11:37,230 --> 00:11:40,698
Uh, sorry, I don't believe that
they have the Gumford Gazebo.
300
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,100
It was built by Ezekiel Gumford in 1882.
301
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,002
And after the big flood,
they rebuilt it,
302
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,672
and now it's half-plastic.
303
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:50,408
Wow, that could really tip the scales.
304
00:11:50,476 --> 00:11:51,642
I'll have to check that out.
305
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,030
Oh, well, I'm done.
306
00:11:54,172 --> 00:11:55,238
Let's go.
307
00:11:55,307 --> 00:11:57,807
I give tours
to prospective students, so...
308
00:11:57,909 --> 00:11:59,029
Or you can just go yourself.
309
00:11:59,077 --> 00:12:00,143
Okay.
310
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,913
[Sighs]
311
00:12:03,982 --> 00:12:05,448
Is it me, or was that weird?
312
00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:06,916
Yes.
313
00:12:06,985 --> 00:12:09,786
I mean, I love that Sean
and Lexie went off together,
314
00:12:09,855 --> 00:12:12,255
- 'cause they're both great.
- Yeah, they're awesome.
315
00:12:12,324 --> 00:12:14,202
And it's cool that Lexie
was being so nice to Sean,
316
00:12:14,226 --> 00:12:16,571
'cause he's got that squeaky-clean,
successful med-school-student thing
317
00:12:16,595 --> 00:12:18,762
that most girls are not that into.
318
00:12:18,830 --> 00:12:20,430
I just hope he wasn't put off by her,
319
00:12:20,499 --> 00:12:23,066
'cause she was so obvious.
320
00:12:23,135 --> 00:12:24,535
You order a salad in front of a guy,
321
00:12:24,603 --> 00:12:27,740
it's like, "Hello! Please marry me."
322
00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:29,723
Uh, Sean was the obvious one.
323
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:32,125
"You're so pretty.
You look like Snow White." Lame.
324
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:35,128
What about Lexie, showing off
her Ezekiel Gumford knowledge?
325
00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:37,664
I just thought Sean had game,
but if that's his game,
326
00:12:37,766 --> 00:12:38,766
then damn.
327
00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,667
But, hey, if Lexie liked it, then great.
328
00:12:40,736 --> 00:12:42,302
That's great. They're both great.
329
00:12:42,404 --> 00:12:44,215
And if they were a couple,
they'd be twice as great.
330
00:12:44,239 --> 00:12:45,239
Oh, duh!
331
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:46,706
My best friend and my neighbor
332
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:48,586
who's like a brother to me...
and nothing more...
333
00:12:48,610 --> 00:12:49,610
end up together?
334
00:12:49,711 --> 00:12:51,077
What could be better than that?
335
00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:52,546
I actually now hope it happens.
336
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:54,047
I'm gonna pray on it tonight.
337
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:56,625
Do you weirdly feel like you want to eat
338
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:57,959
a lot of ice cream right now?
339
00:12:58,061 --> 00:13:00,095
- I weirdly do.
- Yeah.
340
00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:01,696
[Baby cries]
341
00:13:01,798 --> 00:13:04,666
Oh, it's okay, little angel.
342
00:13:04,768 --> 00:13:07,102
It's okay.
343
00:13:07,170 --> 00:13:08,637
Let me try.
344
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,106
[Grunting]
345
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:12,374
Oh, I know.
346
00:13:12,476 --> 00:13:18,213
Indiana, our Indiana,
Indiana, we're all for you
347
00:13:18,315 --> 00:13:22,817
We will fight for Indiana
and the glory of old IU
348
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:24,319
IU!
349
00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:25,553
[Crying stops]
350
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,626
[Quietly] Look at that. I love that...
351
00:13:32,103 --> 00:13:33,703
when they smile in their sleep,
352
00:13:33,805 --> 00:13:36,372
dreaming their little baby dreams.
353
00:13:36,894 --> 00:13:38,093
[Quietly] Oh, my God.
354
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:40,367
You didn't get this baby for me.
355
00:13:40,469 --> 00:13:41,702
You got it for you.
356
00:13:41,771 --> 00:13:44,015
[Baby fusses] What? No.
I got it for you.
357
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,578
You just sniffed its head.
You got it for you.
358
00:13:46,642 --> 00:13:48,042
Oh, okay. So what if I did?
359
00:13:48,110 --> 00:13:49,143
I don't know.
360
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:51,278
I was just thinking,
the kids are growing up.
361
00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:52,646
And Sue's been calling me,
362
00:13:52,715 --> 00:13:54,035
but today, she didn't call at all.
363
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:55,516
I thought you hate to chat.
364
00:13:55,618 --> 00:13:56,450
Yeah.
365
00:13:56,519 --> 00:13:57,519
[Sniffs]
366
00:13:57,587 --> 00:14:00,698
I'm glad you're a girl. I wanted a girl.
367
00:14:01,157 --> 00:14:02,157
[Baby coos]
368
00:14:02,225 --> 00:14:05,726
Uh-huh. I'm just gonna ease her down.
369
00:14:09,298 --> 00:14:10,831
[Baby coos]
370
00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:18,405
[Baby cries]
371
00:14:20,676 --> 00:14:23,777
[Sighs deeply]
372
00:14:26,215 --> 00:14:28,616
[Clears throat]
373
00:14:29,243 --> 00:14:30,509
Wow. You're still up.
374
00:14:30,611 --> 00:14:31,910
Well, yeah.
375
00:14:31,979 --> 00:14:33,211
So, how was it?
376
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:34,320
What'd you do? How'd it go?
377
00:14:34,348 --> 00:14:35,547
Great.
378
00:14:35,616 --> 00:14:39,127
We walked around campus,
then we got coffee.
379
00:14:39,152 --> 00:14:41,266
- Mm!
- He's kind of perfect.
380
00:14:41,335 --> 00:14:43,673
Ahh! I'm so happy!
381
00:14:43,742 --> 00:14:45,157
Look how happy I am!
382
00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:48,977
It's just he's a lot like
every other guy I've dated.
383
00:14:49,046 --> 00:14:51,847
And I don't know if that's
what I want right now.
384
00:14:51,949 --> 00:14:54,950
Oh! Ohh. Ohh, yeah.
385
00:14:55,052 --> 00:14:56,985
Oh, okay. Well, sure. Ohh.
386
00:14:57,054 --> 00:14:59,688
I feel like I'm at a point
where I need to date a bad boy.
387
00:14:59,790 --> 00:15:02,658
Oh, yeah, I totally get that...
388
00:15:02,726 --> 00:15:04,293
like someone who drives with one hand.
389
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,594
I just want to be with a guy
390
00:15:05,663 --> 00:15:08,023
who doesn't have his life all
figured out already, you know?
391
00:15:08,065 --> 00:15:09,494
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
392
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:14,006
Hey, Doctor. How'd it go?
393
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,288
Did you write her
a prescription for love?
394
00:15:16,357 --> 00:15:19,725
[Laughs] Man, she's beautiful and smart.
395
00:15:19,827 --> 00:15:22,461
I get it. She's smart.
She's a smart girl.
396
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:25,197
But when did we as a society
decide that that was important?
397
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:26,399
[Sighs] It's just that...
398
00:15:26,434 --> 00:15:27,878
I don't know, about halfway
through the night,
399
00:15:27,902 --> 00:15:29,113
I started thinking, "What am I doing?
400
00:15:29,137 --> 00:15:30,436
I'm going to med school.
401
00:15:30,505 --> 00:15:32,671
I can't get involved with anybody now."
402
00:15:32,774 --> 00:15:34,140
Oh, that's too bad.
403
00:15:34,208 --> 00:15:37,042
You guys would have been great together.
404
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:38,677
That sucks, man.
405
00:15:38,746 --> 00:15:41,080
You guys would have been
great together. Aw.
406
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,349
Do you feel like ice cream?
I feel like ice cream.
407
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,120
Um... I think we might be out.
408
00:15:48,222 --> 00:15:49,288
[Baby fusses]
409
00:15:49,390 --> 00:15:51,123
Oh, my gosh.
410
00:15:51,192 --> 00:15:53,138
Do you know where we are?
411
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:54,835
[Sighs] Hell?
412
00:15:54,903 --> 00:15:55,969
[Scoffs]
413
00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,071
We just drove past the doll hospital,
414
00:15:58,140 --> 00:16:00,173
and you're about to turn on Applewood.
415
00:16:00,242 --> 00:16:03,110
- [Scoffs]
- Ah, it's "the route."
416
00:16:03,178 --> 00:16:04,711
How many times did we take this drive
417
00:16:04,813 --> 00:16:06,893
to get the kids to stop crying
when they were babies?
418
00:16:06,982 --> 00:16:08,193
Must've been a lot, 'cause my body
419
00:16:08,217 --> 00:16:09,616
just drove us here automatically.
420
00:16:09,685 --> 00:16:11,785
Axl was the worst, remember?
421
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,487
- Mm.
- Ugh!
422
00:16:13,555 --> 00:16:15,956
- [Baby cries, fusses]
- We had to drive with him for hours...
423
00:16:16,024 --> 00:16:19,025
and listen to that "Sesame Street"
cassette over and over.
424
00:16:19,128 --> 00:16:21,203
But we had to skip
that song with the Count.
425
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,272
Oh, yes! He was terrified of the Count!
426
00:16:23,340 --> 00:16:24,540
Aww!
427
00:16:24,642 --> 00:16:27,042
I always liked Oscar.
The guy just liked trash...
428
00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:29,122
- [Chuckles] - ...and didn't
want other people messing it.
429
00:16:29,146 --> 00:16:30,946
Why's that make him a grouch?
430
00:16:31,015 --> 00:16:33,282
[Sighs]
431
00:16:33,384 --> 00:16:34,384
Listen.
432
00:16:34,485 --> 00:16:35,918
She stopped.
433
00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:37,553
Hmm?
434
00:16:37,621 --> 00:16:38,887
Well, not for long.
435
00:16:38,989 --> 00:16:41,191
We're about to hit that
bump on Northaven.
436
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:42,758
Ohh. [Inhales sharply]
437
00:16:44,987 --> 00:16:46,462
Huh.
438
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,263
Yeah, they must have paved it.
439
00:16:48,365 --> 00:16:49,798
Hmm.
440
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,420
[Voice breaking] They paved the bump.
441
00:16:55,523 --> 00:16:58,223
- [Sobbing]
- [Chuckles] Come on.
442
00:16:58,292 --> 00:17:00,826
We just got that one to stop crying.
443
00:17:00,861 --> 00:17:04,696
It's just one minute, you're
driving around with your kids,
444
00:17:04,765 --> 00:17:08,461
listening to Elmo sing
"I Don't Want To Live On The Moon,"
445
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:10,386
and the next minute,
your doctor's telling you
446
00:17:10,455 --> 00:17:12,321
he can't find your ovaries.
447
00:17:12,424 --> 00:17:14,657
And it was all just funny to him,
448
00:17:14,759 --> 00:17:16,559
but it's not funny.
449
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:20,530
That moment should be
marked in some way.
450
00:17:20,632 --> 00:17:22,398
No, I mean it.
451
00:17:22,467 --> 00:17:23,778
I mean, everybody makes a big deal
452
00:17:23,802 --> 00:17:25,601
when you get married and have a baby,
453
00:17:25,637 --> 00:17:28,771
but nobody's having a ceremony
for your shriveled ovaries.
454
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,961
- You know what I mean?
- Like when a player retires,
455
00:17:30,985 --> 00:17:32,422
and they hoist his jersey
into the rafters.
456
00:17:32,477 --> 00:17:34,610
Yes! Exactly.
457
00:17:34,712 --> 00:17:35,912
They just...
458
00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,989
They deserve more respect.
459
00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:40,657
[Sniffles] You know?
460
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,693
I mean, they may not have been
the flashiest ovaries,
461
00:17:43,762 --> 00:17:45,529
but they got the job done.
462
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:47,130
Hey, they gave us three great kids.
463
00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:48,232
[Sobs]
464
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:49,666
Well, at any given time,
465
00:17:49,768 --> 00:17:51,246
two of the three of them were great...
466
00:17:51,270 --> 00:17:52,569
or at least good.
467
00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:54,037
Hey, no one's in jail.
468
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:55,839
They deserve something,
469
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,408
some sort of send-off
for all their years of service.
470
00:17:58,477 --> 00:18:00,644
They deserve more of an ending.
471
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,846
They deserve...
472
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:05,148
a goodbye.
473
00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:11,221
[Sniffles, sighs]
474
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:14,925
- They had a good run.
- [Chuckles]
475
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,517
I think Ernie sang
"I Don't Want To Live On The Moon."
476
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,864
[Chuckles]
477
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,000
No.
478
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:23,935
Ernie? Was it Ernie?
479
00:18:24,003 --> 00:18:25,470
- I think it was.
- What'd I say?
480
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,505
- Elmo.
- Elmo. [Laughs]
481
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:31,409
Yep, there's nothing like a car
ride to put a baby to sleep.
482
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:34,178
And it works pretty well
on old people, too.
483
00:18:36,883 --> 00:18:38,182
Uh, hello?
484
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,151
Oh, hi. Yeah.
485
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:44,989
We were just all going out
for a pancake breakfast.
486
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,891
It's 1:00 in the afternoon.
487
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,626
Sorry. [Clears throat]
488
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,694
It's been a while since we did this.
489
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:53,555
You know what? I don't even care.
490
00:18:53,624 --> 00:18:54,890
I had the best night of my life.
491
00:18:54,992 --> 00:18:57,826
Brad Paisley did three encores,
I had six margaritas,
492
00:18:57,895 --> 00:18:59,339
Steve and I made out in the parking lot,
493
00:18:59,363 --> 00:19:00,262
and I threw up on the hood.
494
00:19:00,331 --> 00:19:01,813
I felt 32 again!
495
00:19:01,838 --> 00:19:04,072
Thank you, really.
496
00:19:04,195 --> 00:19:05,761
Thank you.
497
00:19:14,378 --> 00:19:16,378
All right.
498
00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:18,781
I got to go get the other ones.
499
00:19:19,884 --> 00:19:21,483
Aww.
500
00:19:21,585 --> 00:19:24,920
She has four little kids.
501
00:19:25,022 --> 00:19:26,622
You know what she doesn't have?
502
00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:29,091
Time for pancakes.
503
00:19:29,193 --> 00:19:31,059
- Yes.
- [Engine starts]
504
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,095
[TV playing]
505
00:19:33,197 --> 00:19:35,697
[Cellphone rings]
506
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:36,698
[Cellphone beeps]
507
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:37,666
Hi, honey.
508
00:19:37,768 --> 00:19:39,101
Hey, Dad. Is this a bad time?
509
00:19:39,203 --> 00:19:42,604
No. Matter of fact, it's a good time.
510
00:19:42,706 --> 00:19:44,740
[Exhales sharply]
Well, I've been thinking.
511
00:19:44,842 --> 00:19:47,176
I think I need to put myself
out there a little more.
512
00:19:47,278 --> 00:19:49,611
Like, I don't know, there's
this one guy that I like,
513
00:19:49,713 --> 00:19:51,947
but I think he might
just see me as a friend.
514
00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:53,949
Well, I don't know if you need boys
515
00:19:54,051 --> 00:19:56,185
to be anything more
than friends... ever.
516
00:19:56,287 --> 00:19:58,020
Ha ha.
517
00:19:58,122 --> 00:20:01,723
Anyway, he drives this
safety cart around school,
518
00:20:01,826 --> 00:20:04,493
and he's super nice.
519
00:20:04,595 --> 00:20:06,428
Okay, well, I like safety.
520
00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:08,163
Safety cart sound good.
521
00:20:08,265 --> 00:20:09,965
Yeah. I know. Me, too.
522
00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:11,266
And if you come...
523
00:20:11,368 --> 00:20:13,769
[ Sue speaks indistinctly ]
524
00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:17,398
[Indistinct conversations]
525
00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:24,321
I need to make an announcement,
and I'd like you by my side.
526
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,056
It depends on what you say.
527
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:27,891
I knew I could count on you.
528
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,359
[Indistinct conversations]
529
00:20:33,632 --> 00:20:35,632
- I have a brief statement...
- [Conversations quiet]
530
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:37,601
...and then I'll take questions.
531
00:20:37,703 --> 00:20:39,603
It's been an amazing nine weeks,
532
00:20:39,705 --> 00:20:42,806
but it's with a heavy heart
that I must step down.
533
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,876
I have found another
more worthy of the mantle.
534
00:20:45,978 --> 00:20:50,914
And so, I leave Font Club
in the hands of Gibson...
535
00:20:51,016 --> 00:20:53,483
something, or something Gibson.
536
00:20:53,552 --> 00:20:56,219
I don't know if that's his first
or last name.
537
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:57,888
God bless you all.
538
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,956
And God bless Font Club.
539
00:21:00,058 --> 00:21:02,158
I will now take questions.
540
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:03,261
Do we still get credit?
541
00:21:03,328 --> 00:21:04,961
No more questions.
542
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:07,564
Wait.
543
00:21:07,666 --> 00:21:09,199
I can't be president.
544
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,908
I don't even go here.
I'm in eighth grade.
545
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:12,035
The only reason I'm here
546
00:21:12,137 --> 00:21:13,681
is 'cause my mom's the computer teacher,
547
00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:15,516
and she makes me walk over
from the middle school
548
00:21:15,540 --> 00:21:16,706
so she can drive me home.
549
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:21,853
Never mind.
550
00:21:21,956 --> 00:21:24,022
[Murmuring]
551
00:21:37,838 --> 00:21:39,082
Come on, get in the car...
Family breakfast.
552
00:21:39,106 --> 00:21:41,217
Mom, I have to practice
my squat jumps for volleyball.
553
00:21:41,241 --> 00:21:43,875
Your what? Oh, good Lord.
554
00:21:43,978 --> 00:21:45,310
If I did that,
555
00:21:45,412 --> 00:21:46,790
Anna-Kat wouldn't wouldn't be
the only one peeing in the yard.
556
00:21:46,814 --> 00:21:48,614
Get in the car.
557
00:21:48,649 --> 00:21:50,616
Oh, and we have to stop by Office Depot.
558
00:21:50,718 --> 00:21:52,896
I need to make some posters for
the school's recycling drive...
559
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:55,520
chairman. You can start by recycling
560
00:21:55,623 --> 00:21:58,557
that stupid blue bag
from The New York Times
561
00:21:58,592 --> 00:22:00,325
that you leave next to
the toilet every day.
562
00:22:00,394 --> 00:22:02,594
Do I have to go? Yes!
563
00:22:02,663 --> 00:22:06,198
I want a fun family outing.
Now get in the car.
564
00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:08,567
[Lock clicks] Mom, we talked
about the sweat pants...
565
00:22:08,669 --> 00:22:10,569
Westporters get dressed
to go out in public.
566
00:22:10,671 --> 00:22:11,671
We're not Westporters.
567
00:22:11,705 --> 00:22:13,405
We are renters who live in Westport.
568
00:22:13,474 --> 00:22:15,941
It is a small distinction,
but I cling to it.
569
00:22:16,010 --> 00:22:19,378
[Sternly] Now, get in the car.
570
00:22:21,148 --> 00:22:23,382
Mama, I found this on the windshield.
571
00:22:23,484 --> 00:22:25,617
A "concerned" neighbor thinks
572
00:22:25,719 --> 00:22:27,753
we should get the dent
in our minivan fixed.
573
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,222
It's sullying the neighborhood.
574
00:22:30,324 --> 00:22:32,057
And look at that... unsigned.
575
00:22:32,159 --> 00:22:35,861
There's something very wrong
with this place.
576
00:22:35,963 --> 00:22:38,664
Coward!
577
00:22:38,766 --> 00:22:41,800
Captions by VITAC...
578
00:22:43,804 --> 00:22:46,838
579
00:22:49,610 --> 00:22:52,044
Anna-Kat, the weird-versus-cute ratio
580
00:22:52,146 --> 00:22:54,079
is getting way out of whack.
581
00:22:54,181 --> 00:22:55,291
Don't talk to your sister like that.
582
00:22:55,315 --> 00:22:56,815
She's always embarrassing me.
583
00:22:56,917 --> 00:22:59,017
You should see how she walks
down the hall at school.
584
00:22:59,119 --> 00:23:03,055
585
00:23:03,157 --> 00:23:06,224
Hey, isn't that your sister?
586
00:23:06,326 --> 00:23:10,829
Yeah. She's feral.
We found her in the woods.
587
00:23:10,931 --> 00:23:13,498
I don't care if she's setting
the teachers' lounge on fire.
588
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,001
You're her brother,
and you need to have her back.
589
00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:17,502
Katie: Just in case...
590
00:23:17,571 --> 00:23:20,405
I actually do care if you set
the teachers' lounge on fire.
591
00:23:20,507 --> 00:23:22,507
Mnh-mnh! No cellphones.
592
00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:23,609
I have rights.
593
00:23:23,677 --> 00:23:25,510
[Scoffs] Isn't that cute?
594
00:23:25,612 --> 00:23:26,678
No, you don't.
595
00:23:26,780 --> 00:23:29,581
Whoever told you that
is not helping you.
596
00:23:29,683 --> 00:23:30,849
I am in charge,
597
00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:33,018
and we are going to have
a low-tech family breakfast
598
00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:34,653
like we used to do back home.
599
00:23:34,755 --> 00:23:36,332
Westport is our home.
We're not visiting.
600
00:23:36,356 --> 00:23:38,868
You know, I saw on Facebook that
everyone from our old cul-de-sac
601
00:23:38,892 --> 00:23:40,403
got together
for the annual kickball game.
602
00:23:40,427 --> 00:23:43,395
Carl made that punch in a trash
can that he always brings.
603
00:23:43,497 --> 00:23:44,196
What's that stuff called?
604
00:23:44,298 --> 00:23:45,163
Trash Can Punch.
605
00:23:45,265 --> 00:23:46,465
Yeah, that makes sense.
606
00:23:46,567 --> 00:23:48,600
They didn't even think to invite us.
607
00:23:48,669 --> 00:23:50,069
Because we don't live there anymore.
608
00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:52,337
We still kind of live there.
609
00:23:52,439 --> 00:23:55,140
In no way, shape, or form
do we live there.
610
00:23:55,242 --> 00:23:57,743
That's why I said "kind of."
611
00:23:57,845 --> 00:23:59,111
I'm bored.
612
00:23:59,213 --> 00:24:01,780
Okay, let's play a family game.
I Spy. Who wants to go first?
613
00:24:01,882 --> 00:24:03,248
I'd love to go first.
614
00:24:03,350 --> 00:24:04,583
Oh!
615
00:24:04,685 --> 00:24:08,019
I spy Alice coming in,
and I spy you in sweat pants,
616
00:24:08,122 --> 00:24:11,156
so I spy me going over to her.
617
00:24:11,225 --> 00:24:13,558
It's "I spy with my little eye"!
618
00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:20,031
Oh! I spy with my little eye the
girls from the volleyball team.
619
00:24:20,067 --> 00:24:22,234
I Spy is really
bringing this family together.
620
00:24:22,336 --> 00:24:24,102
Why don't they want to eat with us?
621
00:24:24,171 --> 00:24:25,849
You should be happy
they're making friends.
622
00:24:25,873 --> 00:24:27,706
Yeah, Westport friends.
623
00:24:27,741 --> 00:24:29,908
Look at them...
They're probably talking about
624
00:24:29,977 --> 00:24:32,077
their Christmas vacation
in Turks and Caicos.
625
00:24:32,179 --> 00:24:35,447
I am angry that I even know
what Turks and Caicos is now.
626
00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:37,282
And look at Taylor and her friends...
627
00:24:37,351 --> 00:24:39,351
They are splitting a muffin
four ways. Why?
628
00:24:39,419 --> 00:24:42,320
Because this town muffin shames
women, and it starts early.
629
00:24:42,422 --> 00:24:44,623
I just wanted to do something
as a family,
630
00:24:44,725 --> 00:24:46,758
and this town is getting in our way.
631
00:24:49,163 --> 00:24:50,495
Can I have some cream?
632
00:24:50,564 --> 00:24:52,631
Soy, almond, cashew, or lactose-free?
633
00:24:52,733 --> 00:24:54,166
Mnh-mnh. Half-and-half.
634
00:24:54,268 --> 00:24:55,767
Half almond, half soy?
635
00:24:55,836 --> 00:24:58,103
No. Half milk, half fatter milk.
636
00:24:58,205 --> 00:25:00,472
Oh, I'm sorry.
We stopped carrying cream.
637
00:25:00,574 --> 00:25:03,542
Nobody wants it, because
it's very unhealthy for you.
638
00:25:03,610 --> 00:25:06,111
No... This was not the day to say that.
639
00:25:06,180 --> 00:25:09,281
I want cream and other normal stuff.
640
00:25:09,383 --> 00:25:11,183
I object to gluten-free pancakes,
641
00:25:11,285 --> 00:25:13,185
turkey bacon, and almond soy milk!
642
00:25:13,253 --> 00:25:14,452
I want real milk.
643
00:25:14,521 --> 00:25:17,889
Why can't any of you in this
town be normal and regular?
644
00:25:17,958 --> 00:25:19,424
And why can't any of you
645
00:25:19,526 --> 00:25:23,128
drink cocktails out of a trash
can like the rest of America?!
646
00:25:23,197 --> 00:25:24,863
Huh?!
647
00:25:31,205 --> 00:25:32,982
This might be why they don't
want to eat with us.
648
00:25:33,006 --> 00:25:35,740
649
00:25:35,809 --> 00:25:38,944
Well, that about wraps up the
popular phase of our childhood.
650
00:25:39,012 --> 00:25:40,912
The cream was my last straw.
651
00:25:40,981 --> 00:25:42,948
Now I get why Fat Pam moved away.
652
00:25:43,050 --> 00:25:44,349
I wonder what her last straw was.
653
00:25:44,451 --> 00:25:46,651
Maybe she got her arm stuck
in one of those tiny blouses
654
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,832
that they sell on Main Street
and couldn't get it out.
655
00:25:48,856 --> 00:25:50,867
Then the seam split,
she had to roll it up in a ball,
656
00:25:50,891 --> 00:25:51,891
hide it in her pants,
657
00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,369
and then throw it out
in the ladies' room.
658
00:25:53,393 --> 00:25:55,627
I'm worried about
how specific that example was.
659
00:25:55,696 --> 00:25:58,997
No bright-siding it...
We just don't fit in,
660
00:25:59,066 --> 00:26:01,933
and I haven't liked it
since the minute we got here.
661
00:26:02,002 --> 00:26:05,003
662
00:26:10,410 --> 00:26:14,412
I love it! I have such
a good feeling about this!
663
00:26:14,514 --> 00:26:15,981
Hello!
664
00:26:16,083 --> 00:26:17,182
Hi! I'm Katie.
665
00:26:17,284 --> 00:26:20,018
Ah, nice to meet you.
This is my husband, Greg.
666
00:26:20,068 --> 00:26:24,618
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