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1
00:00:01,238 --> 00:00:04,506
[Crow caws]
2
00:00:04,507 --> 00:00:05,701
Frankie: Out here in the middle,
3
00:00:05,702 --> 00:00:07,798
we know what Christmas is all about...
4
00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:11,266
Peace, love, and the joy
of being with your family.
5
00:00:11,267 --> 00:00:12,653
[Indistinct shouting]
6
00:00:12,654 --> 00:00:15,058
- [Camera shutter clicks]
- Unless it's our family.
7
00:00:15,059 --> 00:00:16,434
How did we get here?
8
00:00:16,435 --> 00:00:18,826
Well, it all started innocently enough.
9
00:00:18,827 --> 00:00:22,681
Got to say, not sure why
the gingerbread potato didn't fly.
10
00:00:22,682 --> 00:00:25,460
Nutmeg and chives are actually
surprisingly good together.
11
00:00:25,461 --> 00:00:27,762
So, listen, after we're done here,
12
00:00:27,763 --> 00:00:28,800
before we go to church,
13
00:00:28,801 --> 00:00:30,057
I want us all to take a picture
14
00:00:30,058 --> 00:00:31,655
in mom and dad's bed, wearing Santa hats.
15
00:00:31,656 --> 00:00:33,052
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
16
00:00:33,053 --> 00:00:34,281
Axl, you have to.
17
00:00:34,282 --> 00:00:36,574
I want to post it so that
when everyone wakes up,
18
00:00:36,575 --> 00:00:38,207
they will see it on Christmas morning.
19
00:00:38,208 --> 00:00:39,328
It'll be iconic.
20
00:00:39,329 --> 00:00:40,269
Who's everyone,
21
00:00:40,270 --> 00:00:42,141
and why do they need to
see us when they wake up?
22
00:00:42,142 --> 00:00:44,921
Dad, if you need me to explain it to you,
you don't get it.
23
00:00:44,922 --> 00:00:47,539
I don't get it,
and I don't want it explained to me.
24
00:00:47,540 --> 00:00:49,854
Well, since it's an iconic
family Christmas photo,
25
00:00:49,855 --> 00:00:51,168
I assume you won't need me in it.
26
00:00:51,169 --> 00:00:52,724
We left you off of one Christmas card.
27
00:00:52,725 --> 00:00:54,325
You were a baby. We made it up to you.
28
00:00:54,326 --> 00:00:55,094
Move on.
29
00:00:55,095 --> 00:00:56,816
Okay, guys, you got to eat faster.
30
00:00:56,817 --> 00:00:58,390
We have 20 minutes till we have to leave
31
00:00:58,391 --> 00:01:00,628
because this year, we are leaving by 6:00.
32
00:01:00,629 --> 00:01:03,031
What? Church doesn't start till 8:00.
33
00:01:03,032 --> 00:01:04,352
It's already bad enough we got to go.
34
00:01:04,353 --> 00:01:05,623
Why do we got to get there two hours early?
35
00:01:05,624 --> 00:01:06,562
Because every year, we're late,
36
00:01:06,563 --> 00:01:08,504
and I'm not sitting in the
overflow room this year.
37
00:01:08,505 --> 00:01:09,538
It's getting embarrassing.
38
00:01:09,539 --> 00:01:11,804
Well, you can forget about the
main floor at this point.
39
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:14,329
We're already in the overflow room.
It's 6:00 now.
40
00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:17,304
What? Are you serious? My watch says 5:40.
41
00:01:17,305 --> 00:01:19,636
Well, if it's only 5:40,
then we have time to take my picture.
42
00:01:19,637 --> 00:01:23,165
You know, ever since this fell in
the toilet, it's running slow.
43
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:24,831
Seriously, it's 6:00?
44
00:01:24,832 --> 00:01:27,128
- I checked the kitchen clock.
- Oh, that's the dog clock.
45
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:29,351
It's always set an hour ahead so I
can give Doris her flea medicine.
46
00:01:29,352 --> 00:01:31,645
She stays on central time.
Trust me, it makes sense.
47
00:01:31,646 --> 00:01:33,700
Uh, no, that's not ahead anymore, remember?
48
00:01:33,701 --> 00:01:35,633
You had me change it back because
it kept making us early.
49
00:01:35,634 --> 00:01:38,186
- So, what time does the microwave say?
- Same as always.
50
00:01:38,187 --> 00:01:39,476
That one only always says 2:00.
51
00:01:39,477 --> 00:01:40,888
No, you got to know how to read it.
52
00:01:40,889 --> 00:01:42,951
Just 1, 2, and 3 are 2:00.
53
00:01:42,952 --> 00:01:44,233
The sixes and zeros work,
54
00:01:44,234 --> 00:01:46,587
and the second time it flashes 2:00,
it's really 4:00.
55
00:01:46,588 --> 00:01:48,131
Will someone just tell me what time it is?!
56
00:01:48,132 --> 00:01:50,576
Is it dog time or microwave
time or toilet time?
57
00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:52,166
Let's just get out the
phone book and call time.
58
00:01:52,167 --> 00:01:54,203
Nobody calls time, grandpa.
59
00:01:54,204 --> 00:01:55,714
Nobody's called time since time started.
60
00:01:55,715 --> 00:01:57,885
Oh, my God, I have a phone.
It's 6:48. Okay? Chill.
61
00:01:58,272 --> 00:01:59,841
Gooo!
62
00:01:59,842 --> 00:02:01,400
Okay, people, you know the drill!
63
00:02:01,401 --> 00:02:03,410
Mike, you'll drop us off and
park in the overflow lot.
64
00:02:03,411 --> 00:02:05,285
Axl, you run in and lay
yourself across the pew,
65
00:02:05,286 --> 00:02:07,244
saving seats until Brick
comes there with the coats,
66
00:02:07,245 --> 00:02:08,529
and this time, actually save the seats.
67
00:02:08,530 --> 00:02:09,615
Don't give it away to old people.
68
00:02:09,616 --> 00:02:11,272
The guy was a World War II veteran!
69
00:02:11,273 --> 00:02:13,665
- You say no to that!
- Oh, anybody can buy one of those hats
70
00:02:13,666 --> 00:02:14,813
and say they were in the war.
71
00:02:14,814 --> 00:02:17,276
Now, while dad is parking and
Axl and Brick are saving seats,
72
00:02:17,277 --> 00:02:18,922
Sue and I will sweet-talk
the choir director
73
00:02:18,923 --> 00:02:20,733
to get a bead on whether they're
gonna open the choir vestibule.
74
00:02:20,734 --> 00:02:22,936
If they're gonna open it,
I will give a signal.
75
00:02:22,937 --> 00:02:24,264
We will split into two
groups, grab the coats,
76
00:02:24,583 --> 00:02:26,225
and plow our way to the staircases.
77
00:02:26,226 --> 00:02:27,343
I don't want to sit in the vestibule.
78
00:02:27,344 --> 00:02:28,874
If we get the vestibule,
you're going in the vestibule.
79
00:02:28,875 --> 00:02:30,530
Oh! Damn it!
80
00:02:30,531 --> 00:02:34,092
Please don't let us end up
in the second overflow room!
81
00:02:34,093 --> 00:02:35,024
[Groans]
82
00:02:35,025 --> 00:02:37,083
[Sniffs] Dirty. [Sniffs] Dirty.
[Sniffs] Dirty.
83
00:02:37,084 --> 00:02:38,842
[Sighs] You know, it's just not fair.
84
00:02:38,843 --> 00:02:40,070
The people who never go to church
85
00:02:40,071 --> 00:02:41,823
squeeze out the people who
sometimes go to church.
86
00:02:41,824 --> 00:02:43,064
[Groans]
87
00:02:49,810 --> 00:02:50,799
Look at us, Mike.
88
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,343
What are we doing?
89
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:54,500
Even if we get out the door right now,
90
00:02:54,501 --> 00:02:55,795
it's gonna be a nightmare.
91
00:02:55,796 --> 00:02:58,835
We're gonna end up in the second overflow
with the cinder-block walls.
92
00:02:58,836 --> 00:03:00,443
To be honest, it's like church jail.
93
00:03:00,444 --> 00:03:02,454
Maybe we should just not go.
94
00:03:02,455 --> 00:03:03,882
Are you serious?
95
00:03:03,883 --> 00:03:05,914
'Cause once this thing's off, it's off.
96
00:03:05,915 --> 00:03:07,495
Yeah. I'm calling it.
97
00:03:07,496 --> 00:03:10,616
Guys! Get in here!
98
00:03:10,617 --> 00:03:14,547
Your mom says we don't got
to go to church this year.
99
00:03:14,548 --> 00:03:16,272
Not go to church? Can we do that?
100
00:03:16,273 --> 00:03:17,756
[Gasps] Maybe we should ask God for a sign.
101
00:03:17,757 --> 00:03:19,189
Here's our sign, Sue.
102
00:03:19,190 --> 00:03:21,250
Ho ho! Awesome!
103
00:03:21,251 --> 00:03:23,754
It's been real. See you
guys new year's day!
104
00:03:23,755 --> 00:03:24,772
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
105
00:03:24,773 --> 00:03:26,211
Just 'cause I said we're
not going to church
106
00:03:26,212 --> 00:03:27,548
doesn't mean we're not going to church.
107
00:03:27,549 --> 00:03:29,863
There's plenty of channels that
offer a Christmas Eve service,
108
00:03:29,864 --> 00:03:31,451
so we'll stay at home and watch it on TV.
109
00:03:31,452 --> 00:03:32,592
Okay.
110
00:03:32,593 --> 00:03:35,072
- And everybody wears pants!
- Axl: [Groans]
111
00:03:37,477 --> 00:03:40,078
Come on, guys! It's starting!
You don't want to miss this!
112
00:03:40,079 --> 00:03:41,761
I found us a good one. It's from Atlanta.
113
00:03:41,762 --> 00:03:44,386
Okay, Gatorade for the wine
114
00:03:44,387 --> 00:03:46,782
and wheat thins for the wafers.
115
00:03:46,783 --> 00:03:48,339
This is gonna work.
116
00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:51,534
[Vocalizing "Deck the Halls"]
117
00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:53,660
I tell you, Frankie, I
have never been happier.
118
00:03:53,661 --> 00:03:55,238
No need to get me anything.
119
00:03:55,239 --> 00:03:57,527
Not wrecking my back sitting
in those pews all night
120
00:03:57,528 --> 00:03:58,596
is the only present I need.
121
00:03:58,597 --> 00:04:00,550
This may be the best idea you've had
122
00:04:00,551 --> 00:04:02,112
- since you said, "no fourth kid."
- Mm.
123
00:04:02,113 --> 00:04:03,826
Actually, I said, "no second kid."
124
00:04:07,488 --> 00:04:08,539
You know, Axl,
125
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,330
you still owe me $2.13 for mom's present.
126
00:04:11,331 --> 00:04:14,023
Yeah. I'm a little tapped
out right now, Brick.
127
00:04:14,024 --> 00:04:14,975
I'll get you back later.
128
00:04:14,976 --> 00:04:16,260
You say that every year.
129
00:04:16,261 --> 00:04:18,500
In fact, I don't think you
ever paid up for last year,
130
00:04:18,501 --> 00:04:20,636
so you actually owe me $4.26.
131
00:04:20,637 --> 00:04:21,897
I owe you?
132
00:04:21,898 --> 00:04:23,229
That's hilarious.
133
00:04:23,230 --> 00:04:25,399
I was the one who, way
back in kindergarten,
134
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,904
picked out the perfume cat,
135
00:04:26,905 --> 00:04:28,473
which turned out to be her
favorite thing in the world.
136
00:04:28,474 --> 00:04:31,842
In fact, you're lucky I ever even
brought you in on this thing.
137
00:04:31,843 --> 00:04:33,445
Sue's been wanting in on it for years,
138
00:04:33,446 --> 00:04:35,123
but I said, "no. It's a brother thing,"
139
00:04:35,124 --> 00:04:36,347
and this is how you repay me?
140
00:04:36,348 --> 00:04:38,443
Fine. You don't want to pay?
141
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:39,781
I'll just say it's from me.
142
00:04:39,782 --> 00:04:40,836
Unh-unh. [Chuckles]
143
00:04:40,837 --> 00:04:42,470
You think you're gonna cut me out now?
144
00:04:42,471 --> 00:04:44,669
You wanted in on the big-boy gift,
145
00:04:44,670 --> 00:04:46,131
I let you in on the big-boy gift.
146
00:04:46,132 --> 00:04:48,300
In fact, now that I think about it,
147
00:04:48,301 --> 00:04:49,231
you owe me.
148
00:04:49,232 --> 00:04:50,383
- What?!
- Yeah.
149
00:04:50,384 --> 00:04:52,081
I never even asked you for money
150
00:04:52,082 --> 00:04:53,456
till you were at least... 7,
151
00:04:53,457 --> 00:04:56,215
so, technically, you owe
me money, plus interest.
152
00:04:56,216 --> 00:04:58,576
Yeah. It's a business term. Look it up.
153
00:04:58,577 --> 00:05:00,262
[Scoffs]
154
00:05:04,669 --> 00:05:07,862
[ Organ music playing]
155
00:05:07,863 --> 00:05:08,995
Oh! No, no, no! Don't sit.
156
00:05:08,996 --> 00:05:10,080
Rise for the pastor.
157
00:05:10,081 --> 00:05:11,234
He's coming in. He's coming in.
158
00:05:11,235 --> 00:05:12,411
Nobody can see us.
159
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:13,739
God can see us.
160
00:05:13,740 --> 00:05:15,758
If we're gonna get credit for this,
it has to be legit.
161
00:05:15,759 --> 00:05:17,310
We have to treat it with the same solemnity
162
00:05:17,311 --> 00:05:18,449
as we do regular church.
163
00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:20,717
[Bag crinkling]
164
00:05:20,718 --> 00:05:22,777
Pastor: You may all be seated.
165
00:05:22,778 --> 00:05:25,500
[Sighs] A reading from the
gospel of Luke, chapter...
166
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:27,035
You don't have to worry
about the remote, Mike.
167
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:28,063
This is the one we're watching.
168
00:05:28,064 --> 00:05:29,000
I just want to hold it.
169
00:05:29,001 --> 00:05:30,778
Why are we whispering?
170
00:05:30,779 --> 00:05:32,262
Whispering.
171
00:05:32,263 --> 00:05:33,684
We're in church.
172
00:05:33,685 --> 00:05:35,065
Okay, at the next commercial break,
173
00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:36,273
can we please do the photo?
174
00:05:36,274 --> 00:05:37,454
Shh! I'm not doing the photo.
175
00:05:37,455 --> 00:05:38,611
Brick, you're in, right?
176
00:05:38,612 --> 00:05:40,259
I can count on your support for my photo?
177
00:05:40,260 --> 00:05:41,811
I'm thinking about it.
178
00:05:41,812 --> 00:05:45,080
[Singsong] I will drive you
to the library three times.
179
00:05:45,081 --> 00:05:46,522
70.
180
00:05:46,523 --> 00:05:48,014
70?
181
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:49,523
How did you get from 3 to 70?
182
00:05:49,524 --> 00:05:50,377
70.
183
00:05:50,378 --> 00:05:51,438
Fine... 4.
184
00:05:51,439 --> 00:05:52,340
71.
185
00:05:52,341 --> 00:05:53,656
Come on!
186
00:05:53,657 --> 00:05:55,235
72. 73.
187
00:05:55,236 --> 00:05:56,329
Okay, fine, fine, fine, fine!
188
00:05:56,330 --> 00:05:58,329
- 68, and that is my final offer.
- Sold.
189
00:05:58,330 --> 00:06:00,248
[Chuckling] All right,
I've got Brick on board.
190
00:06:00,249 --> 00:06:01,656
- Mom, you're in, right?
- Sure.
191
00:06:01,657 --> 00:06:03,981
- Dad?
- Uh... I'll do it,
192
00:06:03,982 --> 00:06:05,343
but only if I get to stay here.
193
00:06:05,344 --> 00:06:06,190
What?
194
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,343
Wait, so we're just gonna sit on a couch
195
00:06:08,344 --> 00:06:09,552
and wear Santa hats?
196
00:06:09,553 --> 00:06:10,853
Yeah, that makes sense.
197
00:06:10,854 --> 00:06:12,329
Just get it over with,
198
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:13,487
and she'll stop talking about it.
199
00:06:13,488 --> 00:06:14,791
If I smother her with a pillow,
200
00:06:14,792 --> 00:06:16,653
she'll also stop talking about it. [Sighs]
201
00:06:16,654 --> 00:06:18,837
Come on, Axl. The whole family's doing it.
202
00:06:18,838 --> 00:06:20,213
If you're not in the picture,
203
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,251
- everybody is gonna think you're dead!
- Good!
204
00:06:22,252 --> 00:06:23,863
This is the gospel of the lord.
205
00:06:23,864 --> 00:06:24,669
Ah! Commercial!
206
00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:26,215
Okay, come on, hecks! Let's do this!
207
00:06:26,216 --> 00:06:27,198
[Sighs]
208
00:06:27,199 --> 00:06:32,711
[Singsong] I'll do your laundry.
209
00:06:32,712 --> 00:06:34,928
No tagging... Facebook, not Instagram.
210
00:06:34,929 --> 00:06:35,834
I get final photo approval,
211
00:06:35,835 --> 00:06:38,691
and as for the laundry, I
prefer fabric softener
212
00:06:38,692 --> 00:06:40,038
on anything that touches my business.
213
00:06:40,039 --> 00:06:41,642
Okay.
214
00:06:41,643 --> 00:06:43,526
Now, dad, you go next to mom,
215
00:06:43,527 --> 00:06:44,704
and then Axl...
216
00:06:44,705 --> 00:06:46,188
No, wait, and then Brick.
217
00:06:46,189 --> 00:06:47,659
Commercial's not that long, Sue.
218
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:50,012
Okay, then we will go oldest to youngest,
219
00:06:50,013 --> 00:06:50,815
but I'm in the middle.
220
00:06:50,816 --> 00:06:53,443
Okay, all right. We're almost there!
221
00:06:53,444 --> 00:06:56,137
And one for you... You know, Axl, I
still want my money for the gift.
222
00:06:56,138 --> 00:06:58,383
I want my money for the gift.
223
00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:01,096
Maybe I'll just forget this unholy alliance
224
00:07:01,097 --> 00:07:02,208
and get her my own gift.
225
00:07:02,209 --> 00:07:04,618
Hey, if you can come up with a
better idea than perfume cat,
226
00:07:04,619 --> 00:07:05,531
then be my guest.
227
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:08,409
And, dad, you get a
super, super special one!
228
00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:09,616
Are you excited?
229
00:07:09,617 --> 00:07:11,469
Nah. I don't want to wear a hat.
230
00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:14,389
Okay, what would you say if
I told you yours said...
231
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,339
"Daddy-o"?
232
00:07:16,340 --> 00:07:18,517
I would say I'm definitely
not wearing a hat.
233
00:07:18,518 --> 00:07:19,974
Oh! Oh! I forgot Doris!
234
00:07:19,975 --> 00:07:21,343
No, no. No Doris.
235
00:07:21,344 --> 00:07:23,628
If she sits on anything
with give, she pees.
236
00:07:23,629 --> 00:07:25,069
I'm not far behind.
237
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,884
Okay, okay.
238
00:07:26,885 --> 00:07:27,879
While we're young.
239
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,666
[Camera beeps] Lookin' good, people!
240
00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:31,495
Okay.
241
00:07:31,496 --> 00:07:33,427
[Gasps] I know!
242
00:07:33,428 --> 00:07:36,611
I am gonna caption this "Happy Heckidays"!
243
00:07:36,612 --> 00:07:38,894
Okay, smile!
244
00:07:38,895 --> 00:07:40,844
- [Camera shutter clicks]
- Frankie: So, we might have looked happy,
245
00:07:40,845 --> 00:07:42,309
but it didn't stay that way.
246
00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:45,899
Sue! Brick! Get back
here and finish church!
247
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:46,882
-
Glory to God
- Sue: I'm almost done.
248
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,143
I'm still listening!
249
00:07:48,144 --> 00:07:50,931
Glory to God in the highest
250
00:07:50,932 --> 00:07:53,163
Just finishing uploading the picture.
251
00:07:53,164 --> 00:07:55,754
And peace to his people on Earth
252
00:07:55,755 --> 00:07:57,641
Okay, if they don't have
to be here for this,
253
00:07:57,642 --> 00:07:58,761
I'm going to the bathroom.
254
00:07:58,762 --> 00:08:00,848
I just chugged some of your
communion juice, and I got to pee!
255
00:08:00,849 --> 00:08:02,351
Where is everybody going?
256
00:08:02,352 --> 00:08:04,989
Sue, get back! You're gonna
miss the "peace be with yous"!
257
00:08:04,990 --> 00:08:06,100
- [Click]
- [ Sports announcer talking] Mike!
258
00:08:06,101 --> 00:08:09,635
God would not have created the remote
if he did not want me to use it.
259
00:08:09,636 --> 00:08:13,537
- [Click]
- [Choir vocalizing]
260
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,704
Is that our cat perfume?
261
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:18,290
Why is it in such a big box?
262
00:08:18,291 --> 00:08:21,041
Well, I could only find one
big piece of wrapping paper,
263
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,418
and I'm not allowed to cut,
so I had to find a big box.
264
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:25,803
Oh, ho! I know what you're doing.
265
00:08:25,804 --> 00:08:27,569
You were waiting for me
to go to the bathroom.
266
00:08:27,570 --> 00:08:28,521
Then you were gonna give it to her
267
00:08:28,522 --> 00:08:29,438
like it's just from you.
268
00:08:29,439 --> 00:08:31,681
Gee. I hadn't thought of that,
269
00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:33,440
but thanks for the idea, idea man.
270
00:08:33,441 --> 00:08:34,302
Enjoy the bathroom.
271
00:08:35,898 --> 00:08:37,002
Give me the present.
272
00:08:37,003 --> 00:08:39,214
Until I get my $4.26, it's mine.
273
00:08:39,215 --> 00:08:40,586
[Paper rustling]
274
00:08:45,575 --> 00:08:47,178
We have a present for you from both of us.
275
00:08:47,179 --> 00:08:48,344
Even if only one of us paid for it.
276
00:08:48,345 --> 00:08:49,883
Or if it was one of our ideas.
277
00:08:49,884 --> 00:08:52,103
Wow! [Chuckles]
278
00:08:52,104 --> 00:08:54,437
What is this? It's so big!
279
00:08:54,438 --> 00:08:57,144
Okay, I guess you guys are old enough
for me to tell you this now.
280
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,149
Every year, you'd get me that cat perfume,
281
00:08:59,150 --> 00:09:01,394
and I'd "ooh" and "ahh" over it,
282
00:09:01,395 --> 00:09:02,524
and it was so sweet of you.
283
00:09:02,525 --> 00:09:04,565
But the truth is, it smelled awful.
284
00:09:04,566 --> 00:09:07,722
I have 12 of 'em stashed behind
the frosting in the garage.
285
00:09:07,723 --> 00:09:08,578
[Chuckles]
286
00:09:10,859 --> 00:09:12,017
You really never liked it?
287
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:13,434
'Cause every time you went out somewhere,
288
00:09:13,435 --> 00:09:16,076
you always said you would put
on your purrisian nights.
289
00:09:16,077 --> 00:09:17,796
And you used to pet the velvet
290
00:09:17,797 --> 00:09:19,269
and say how you always wanted a cat.
291
00:09:19,270 --> 00:09:20,300
[Laughs nervously]
292
00:09:20,301 --> 00:09:22,365
You guys! Oh, I was kidding!
293
00:09:22,366 --> 00:09:23,913
Oh, bad joke.
294
00:09:23,914 --> 00:09:25,053
I just said I didn't like it
295
00:09:25,054 --> 00:09:28,223
because I was worried that you
got me something different,
296
00:09:28,224 --> 00:09:29,900
and I didn't want you to feel bad
297
00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:32,169
that you didn't get me the
cat perfume that I love.
298
00:09:32,170 --> 00:09:35,836
But phew! You did, and I love it.
I love it so much!
299
00:09:35,837 --> 00:09:37,823
Did you know she hated it?
300
00:09:37,824 --> 00:09:39,610
"Hate's" not a strong enough word.
301
00:09:39,611 --> 00:09:41,320
Sue: Oh, no.
302
00:09:41,321 --> 00:09:42,989
Brick, could I see you a minute?
303
00:09:42,990 --> 00:09:44,277
You know...
304
00:09:44,278 --> 00:09:46,802
You should've just told
me you didn't like it.
305
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:49,090
You think I care about whether
or not I make you happy?
306
00:09:49,091 --> 00:09:51,694
[Chuckling] I mean, it's got a...
Pearl necklace.
307
00:09:51,695 --> 00:09:53,208
Did you see that? Wearing the pearls.
308
00:09:53,209 --> 00:09:55,056
Axl? Can you come in here a minute?
309
00:09:55,057 --> 00:09:57,184
[Sighs]
310
00:09:57,185 --> 00:09:58,507
I saw the big box.
311
00:09:58,508 --> 00:10:00,149
I thought it was the fuggs I wanted.
312
00:10:00,150 --> 00:10:02,685
- Fuggs?
- Yeah, they're the knock-off uggs.
313
00:10:02,686 --> 00:10:03,902
They make 'em out of old tires.
314
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:06,359
[Vocalizing] Did you
not even read my list?
315
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,083
Can I just change it to the football game?
316
00:10:08,084 --> 00:10:10,554
We got a loose handle on
the whole Jesus story.
317
00:10:10,555 --> 00:10:12,398
I think we're good. [Sighs]
318
00:10:16,586 --> 00:10:17,684
What's going on in here?
319
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,067
Sue has something to tell you,
320
00:10:19,068 --> 00:10:21,036
and keep in mind... we're in church.
321
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:23,883
Okay, okay, see, I-I-I was uploading the...
322
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,884
The... the bed pictures onto the computer,
323
00:10:25,885 --> 00:10:29,678
and something happened,
and [Sighs] they're gone.
324
00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:31,286
Well, I'm sorry, Sue.
325
00:10:31,287 --> 00:10:32,467
We're not taking another picture.
326
00:10:32,468 --> 00:10:34,775
Now, come on. Your dad's got an itchy
trigger finger with the remote.
327
00:10:34,776 --> 00:10:36,048
Uh, no, I-I mean,
328
00:10:36,049 --> 00:10:38,906
they're all gone... like, all the pictures.
329
00:10:38,907 --> 00:10:40,563
Oh. Well, that's a bummer.
330
00:10:40,564 --> 00:10:41,823
How many pictures did you
have on your camera?
331
00:10:41,824 --> 00:10:43,610
No, not just the camera.
332
00:10:43,611 --> 00:10:46,581
Like... All the pictures on our computer
333
00:10:46,582 --> 00:10:48,864
that we've ever, ever taken are gone!
334
00:10:48,865 --> 00:10:50,403
What?! No!
335
00:10:50,404 --> 00:10:51,456
They have to be there!
336
00:10:51,457 --> 00:10:54,311
[Keyboard clacking] Where are they?
Where are they?
337
00:10:54,312 --> 00:10:55,788
Mom, you can't just hit random buttons.
338
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:56,907
We already tried that.
339
00:10:56,908 --> 00:10:58,171
Okay, wait.
340
00:10:58,172 --> 00:10:59,614
Our computer is old.
341
00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:02,272
We just have to unplug
it, wait five seconds,
342
00:11:02,273 --> 00:11:03,465
then plug it back in.
343
00:11:04,613 --> 00:11:05,602
[Computer beeps]
344
00:11:05,603 --> 00:11:06,678
[Sighs]
345
00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:10,986
All: 1... 2... 3... 4... 5.
346
00:11:10,987 --> 00:11:13,945
Okay, wait. One more
second just to be safe.
347
00:11:13,946 --> 00:11:15,059
Go.
348
00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:17,604
- I didn't do anything weird. I promise.
- [Beep]
349
00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:19,706
I just plugged the camera
into the cable, like always.
350
00:11:19,707 --> 00:11:22,174
I just wanted to Photoshop
a Santa hat onto dad.
351
00:11:22,175 --> 00:11:23,363
It was just the way I saw it!
352
00:11:23,364 --> 00:11:25,269
It's gonna be fine, Sue,
because this is gonna work.
353
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:26,537
[Keyboard clacks]
354
00:11:26,538 --> 00:11:27,884
Frankie: It didn't.
355
00:11:27,885 --> 00:11:28,931
[Beep]
356
00:11:28,932 --> 00:11:31,823
1...2...
357
00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:33,659
All: 3... 4...
358
00:11:35,685 --> 00:11:38,716
All: 28... 29... 30!
359
00:11:38,717 --> 00:11:41,426
[Beep]
360
00:11:41,427 --> 00:11:44,789
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
361
00:11:44,790 --> 00:11:46,384
Mike?!
362
00:11:46,385 --> 00:11:48,563
They're gone! They're gone!
363
00:11:48,564 --> 00:11:50,949
Every picture we've taken for
the last seven years is gone!
364
00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:53,749
What are you talking about?
You have backups, don't you?
365
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:55,572
No, they were on the computer,
and now they're gone!
366
00:11:55,573 --> 00:11:57,267
Listen, I keep hearing about a cloud.
367
00:11:57,268 --> 00:11:58,294
Do we have a cloud?
368
00:11:58,295 --> 00:12:00,465
Just the black one over our heads.
369
00:12:00,466 --> 00:12:02,198
- Axl: We don't have a cloud!
- Well, can we get one?!
370
00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:03,312
We need to buy one right now.
371
00:12:03,313 --> 00:12:05,027
Oh, my God, everything is gone...
372
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:07,196
Sue's graduation, Axl's graduation,
373
00:12:07,197 --> 00:12:08,621
Sue's birthday, Axl's birthday!
374
00:12:08,622 --> 00:12:09,907
Not hearing a lot of Brick.
375
00:12:09,908 --> 00:12:11,665
Do something besides read,
and we'll take your picture.
376
00:12:11,666 --> 00:12:13,909
Sorry. I'm just too panicked
to coddle you right now.
377
00:12:13,910 --> 00:12:15,420
Wait... do not tell me
378
00:12:15,421 --> 00:12:16,965
the photo where I ran up against the wall
379
00:12:16,966 --> 00:12:18,860
and did that perfect flip was on there!
380
00:12:18,861 --> 00:12:20,983
It's only the most awesome
photo ever taken,
381
00:12:20,984 --> 00:12:22,411
and I'll never be able to do it again!
382
00:12:22,412 --> 00:12:24,800
Ohh! You really Sue'd this one up, Sue!
383
00:12:24,801 --> 00:12:26,888
Well, it's not my fault, Axl!
384
00:12:26,889 --> 00:12:28,485
You know, if we had the original cord
385
00:12:28,486 --> 00:12:29,504
that came with the computer...
386
00:12:29,505 --> 00:12:31,225
But no! You had to take it up to college.
387
00:12:31,226 --> 00:12:34,872
So now mom and dad have this
cheap knock-off Mr. Cord,
388
00:12:34,873 --> 00:12:36,740
so when I plugged it into
the computer, it said,
389
00:12:36,741 --> 00:12:38,565
"this device is not
supported by your cord"!
390
00:12:38,566 --> 00:12:40,877
It's not the cord! It's the computer!
391
00:12:40,878 --> 00:12:42,218
[Gasps] Disney World!
392
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:44,559
I told your dad and I told your dad
393
00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:45,717
we needed to get a new computer.
394
00:12:45,718 --> 00:12:47,660
Yet, the man who knows
nothing about computers said
395
00:12:47,661 --> 00:12:48,517
this one is fine!
396
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:49,903
Don't try to blame this on me.
397
00:12:49,904 --> 00:12:51,915
I don't even know why we
need a damn computer.
398
00:12:51,916 --> 00:12:54,234
Oh, no! My "Winds of War" book!
399
00:12:54,235 --> 00:12:55,747
I took a picture of every page
400
00:12:55,748 --> 00:12:57,012
and uploaded it to the computer,
401
00:12:57,013 --> 00:12:58,484
and now you're telling me it's gone?!
402
00:12:58,485 --> 00:13:00,711
- Why would you do that?
- Well, I hadn't read it yet,
403
00:13:00,712 --> 00:13:02,916
and you guys are always on
me about late library fees.
404
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,275
It took me four solid days.
405
00:13:04,276 --> 00:13:07,756
How many times have I said
to print them out, Frankie?
406
00:13:07,757 --> 00:13:08,860
Just print them out.
407
00:13:08,861 --> 00:13:11,213
Gee, that's really helpful
right now, Mike. Thanks!
408
00:13:11,214 --> 00:13:13,705
Actually, it would've been
nice to have a printed version
409
00:13:13,706 --> 00:13:15,079
of all the pages I took pictures of.
410
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:16,185
That's called a book.
411
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:17,306
I'm gonna be sick.
412
00:13:17,307 --> 00:13:20,626
Look, you only need six
pictures in life, anyway...
413
00:13:20,627 --> 00:13:23,069
Born, first day of school, first car,
414
00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:24,481
married, first kid...
415
00:13:24,482 --> 00:13:25,699
Funeral.
416
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:27,422
What about second kid? Or third?
417
00:13:27,423 --> 00:13:28,718
Babies look like babies.
418
00:13:28,719 --> 00:13:29,463
[Gasps] Babies!
419
00:13:29,464 --> 00:13:30,798
Where are the baby pictures?
420
00:13:30,799 --> 00:13:32,745
Where are the picture from
eight years ago and before...
421
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:33,800
Before they all went digital?
422
00:13:33,801 --> 00:13:34,957
You lost those, too?!
423
00:13:34,958 --> 00:13:36,975
No, no, no, wait. I think I
have them in a box somewhere.
424
00:13:36,976 --> 00:13:39,143
Like a-a knock-off stride rite box
425
00:13:39,144 --> 00:13:40,130
from when you kids were little.
426
00:13:40,131 --> 00:13:43,257
I think it was, like,
stride mite, stride tite?
427
00:13:43,258 --> 00:13:44,515
Oh, my God, I haven't seen it in forever.
428
00:13:44,516 --> 00:13:45,655
We got to find that box!
429
00:13:45,656 --> 00:13:47,471
Okay, it's red or blue.
430
00:13:47,472 --> 00:13:48,590
Everybody, just start looking!
431
00:13:48,591 --> 00:13:52,111
Really, Frankie? Are we
really gonna do this now?
432
00:13:52,112 --> 00:13:54,179
It's Christmas Eve, and
you're running around,
433
00:13:54,180 --> 00:13:56,190
making yourself a wreck over some pictures.
434
00:13:56,191 --> 00:13:57,782
Relax. Nobody's dead.
435
00:13:57,783 --> 00:14:00,347
Yes, they are! 15-year-old Sue is dead!
436
00:14:00,348 --> 00:14:02,065
She's gone, and we'll never
set eyes on her again now.
437
00:14:02,066 --> 00:14:03,514
And what about 10-year-old Axl,
438
00:14:03,515 --> 00:14:04,972
when he was sweet and he liked me?
439
00:14:04,973 --> 00:14:05,949
He's gone, too.
440
00:14:05,950 --> 00:14:08,225
There were thousands of pictures, Mike...
thousands!
441
00:14:08,226 --> 00:14:11,393
Of this family?! Why?! I don't get it.
442
00:14:11,394 --> 00:14:12,506
It's like you're trying to archive
443
00:14:12,507 --> 00:14:14,344
for some museum that's
never gonna be built.
444
00:14:14,345 --> 00:14:16,744
Unless you're a president
or a serial killer,
445
00:14:16,745 --> 00:14:17,539
nobody cares!
446
00:14:17,540 --> 00:14:18,678
I care!
447
00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:19,543
She cares!
448
00:14:19,544 --> 00:14:22,690
I can do it again! Somebody grab a camera!
449
00:14:22,691 --> 00:14:24,849
Mike: This is dumb. I don't
even know what I'm looking for!
450
00:14:25,980 --> 00:14:27,549
Damn it! [Gasps]
451
00:14:27,550 --> 00:14:28,667
The greatest moment of our lives,
452
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,512
and now it's lost to the world forever.
453
00:14:30,513 --> 00:14:33,421
[Groans] The light was streaming
in through the hall
454
00:14:33,422 --> 00:14:34,909
and backlit my hair while I was flipping!
455
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:37,249
Stop talking about you, Axl!
It's not about you!
456
00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:38,472
Oh, yeah, let's talk about you!
457
00:14:38,473 --> 00:14:40,175
Why is dad looking down here?
458
00:14:40,176 --> 00:14:42,947
I should be covering
everything 5 feet and below!
459
00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:43,834
Really, Mike?!
460
00:14:43,835 --> 00:14:45,813
I need you to look on top of the hutch,
461
00:14:45,814 --> 00:14:48,404
over the fridge... high places, high!
462
00:14:48,405 --> 00:14:50,644
I can't believe you never
liked perfume cat.
463
00:14:50,645 --> 00:14:51,746
Not the time, Brick!
464
00:14:51,747 --> 00:14:53,755
Ohh! The marines at Thanksgiving.
465
00:14:53,756 --> 00:14:56,357
It's not my fault! It's technology's fault!
466
00:14:56,358 --> 00:14:57,426
[Doorbell rings]
467
00:14:57,427 --> 00:14:59,270
Who the hell comes to the
door on Christmas Eve?!
468
00:14:59,271 --> 00:15:00,602
What kind of person...
469
00:15:00,603 --> 00:15:04,200
Joy to the world
470
00:15:04,201 --> 00:15:06,234
The lord is...
471
00:15:06,235 --> 00:15:07,302
- Where is the box?!
- That's right!
472
00:15:07,303 --> 00:15:08,709
- It might not even be a box.
- It could be a bag.
473
00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:09,922
I don't know! Just keep looking!
474
00:15:09,923 --> 00:15:11,620
God, if we don't have computer pictures
475
00:15:11,621 --> 00:15:13,646
and we don't have picture
pictures, we have nothing!
476
00:15:13,647 --> 00:15:14,781
Our history is gone!
477
00:15:14,782 --> 00:15:16,749
I can't remember anything without pictures!
478
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,535
What did I eat for breakfast today?
479
00:15:18,536 --> 00:15:19,820
See? Gone!
480
00:15:19,821 --> 00:15:21,436
Oh, God, could I have thrown it away
481
00:15:21,437 --> 00:15:23,091
when we did that spring
cleaning a couple years ago?
482
00:15:23,092 --> 00:15:24,874
That would be so typical of me!
483
00:15:24,875 --> 00:15:26,285
Other people have a system,
484
00:15:26,286 --> 00:15:28,387
and I don't have a system,
and now it's gone!
485
00:15:28,388 --> 00:15:29,949
Mom, it's not your fault.
486
00:15:29,950 --> 00:15:30,790
Yes, it is.
487
00:15:30,791 --> 00:15:33,543
This whole damn house is
just a system failure.
488
00:15:33,544 --> 00:15:36,125
That computer has not been
backed up for 67 weeks!
489
00:15:36,126 --> 00:15:38,216
I just kept hitting, "remind me later."
490
00:15:38,217 --> 00:15:39,699
Everything here is "remind me later."
491
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:41,821
We live a "remind me later" life.
492
00:15:41,822 --> 00:15:43,377
Oh, my God, what is wrong with me?!
493
00:15:43,378 --> 00:15:44,777
I can't store pictures properly.
494
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,876
I don't appreciate cat
perfume from my children.
495
00:15:46,877 --> 00:15:48,975
I have got to do a better job!
496
00:15:48,976 --> 00:15:50,058
It's okay, mom!
497
00:15:50,059 --> 00:15:52,329
I found it! I found it!!
498
00:15:52,330 --> 00:15:53,205
It was in the garage!
499
00:15:53,206 --> 00:15:54,365
Oh, thank God!
500
00:15:58,830 --> 00:16:00,440
Old people magazines?
501
00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:03,597
Nooooo!!
502
00:16:03,598 --> 00:16:05,242
[Crying]
503
00:16:05,243 --> 00:16:06,525
They're gone!
504
00:16:06,526 --> 00:16:08,194
[Crying]
505
00:16:08,195 --> 00:16:10,509
Everything is gone!
506
00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:12,842
It's as if we never existed!
507
00:16:12,843 --> 00:16:14,304
[Crying]
508
00:16:14,305 --> 00:16:15,673
Oh, sure, I kept two copies of
509
00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:17,803
the John Travolta "look
who's talking" edition
510
00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:19,158
but not our family memories!
511
00:16:20,904 --> 00:16:22,436
Do you want me to throw this out?
512
00:16:22,437 --> 00:16:23,459
No.
513
00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:25,195
I can't believe it.
514
00:16:25,196 --> 00:16:28,939
My great-grandkids are not gonna
know me as young and pretty...
515
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:29,912
Just old and gross!
516
00:16:29,913 --> 00:16:32,083
What?! No, mom, you're pretty.
517
00:16:32,084 --> 00:16:33,421
You're so pretty!
518
00:16:33,422 --> 00:16:35,504
We'll describe your beauty to our kids.
519
00:16:35,505 --> 00:16:37,485
I can write about it. I
wrote a good sentence once.
520
00:16:37,486 --> 00:16:39,048
[Sobbing]
521
00:16:40,983 --> 00:16:43,172
I-I just...
522
00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:46,322
I can't even speak!
523
00:16:46,323 --> 00:16:48,145
[Crying]
524
00:16:48,146 --> 00:16:55,810
[Sport event plays on TV]
525
00:16:55,811 --> 00:16:57,598
Dad! Are you gonna do something?
526
00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:58,875
Nope.
527
00:17:03,825 --> 00:17:06,902
Do you not hear her?! Do
you not hear your wife?!
528
00:17:06,903 --> 00:17:07,998
Why are you just sitting there?!
529
00:17:07,999 --> 00:17:10,838
Look, I have been through
this too many times...
530
00:17:10,839 --> 00:17:12,700
The drama over stupid stuff.
531
00:17:12,701 --> 00:17:15,054
The baby clothes, the
solar-powered calculator.
532
00:17:15,055 --> 00:17:17,645
"I lost my phone. I left
my purse in the road.
533
00:17:17,646 --> 00:17:19,035
My car is missing"...
534
00:17:19,036 --> 00:17:20,367
Only, it's parked behind the building.
535
00:17:20,368 --> 00:17:21,947
"The bachelor picked the wrong girl!"
536
00:17:21,948 --> 00:17:24,019
I just... I [Sighs] I can't.
537
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:25,560
I'm done. I got nothing to give.
538
00:17:25,561 --> 00:17:26,944
[Frankie sobbing]
539
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:29,606
Hey, mom.
540
00:17:29,607 --> 00:17:32,434
Hey, hey.
541
00:17:32,435 --> 00:17:33,624
Shh, shh, shh, shh!
542
00:17:33,625 --> 00:17:35,151
Look. I have a camera.
543
00:17:35,152 --> 00:17:36,974
Yeah. We'll take new pictures.
544
00:17:36,975 --> 00:17:38,193
See?
545
00:17:38,194 --> 00:17:40,190
Just like... yeah.
546
00:17:40,191 --> 00:17:40,932
[Wails]
547
00:17:40,933 --> 00:17:42,461
Frankie: So, it wasn't looking like
548
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,300
the happiest of heckidays this Christmas,
549
00:17:44,301 --> 00:17:46,534
but God bless the kids
for trying to save it.
550
00:17:46,535 --> 00:17:48,477
It's bad, Axl. It's real bad.
551
00:17:48,478 --> 00:17:49,733
I've never seen her like this.
552
00:17:49,734 --> 00:17:51,826
[Sobbing]
553
00:17:51,827 --> 00:17:53,238
Hey! Uh...
554
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,967
How you doing, mom?
555
00:17:54,968 --> 00:17:56,985
You, uh, still crying, huh?
556
00:17:56,986 --> 00:17:58,466
[Sobbing continues]
557
00:17:58,467 --> 00:18:00,093
Hey, uh, you want to hug me?
558
00:18:00,094 --> 00:18:01,561
You like to hug me, right?
559
00:18:01,562 --> 00:18:03,065
I'll let you hug me. Come on.
560
00:18:03,066 --> 00:18:04,319
[Sobbing continues]
561
00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:05,918
Hey, you want to ruffle my hair?
562
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,157
I just washed it yesterday.
563
00:18:07,158 --> 00:18:08,604
- Huh?
- [Sobbing continues]
564
00:18:08,605 --> 00:18:10,880
Okay, this is not like the time
they forgot her curly fries.
565
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,597
This is bad. She wouldn't even hug me.
566
00:18:12,598 --> 00:18:13,670
[Gasps]
567
00:18:13,671 --> 00:18:15,474
- [Crying]
- Hey, mom.
568
00:18:15,475 --> 00:18:18,256
You know, when I'm distraught,
569
00:18:18,257 --> 00:18:20,832
I find that there's always a
passage in "Planet Nowhere"
570
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,826
to make me feel better.
571
00:18:21,827 --> 00:18:25,489
"Chapter 3.
572
00:18:25,490 --> 00:18:28,166
Zortof arrived at the cave of knowledge
573
00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:30,214
to find it walled over with moss.
574
00:18:30,215 --> 00:18:31,932
[Wailing]
575
00:18:31,933 --> 00:18:35,459
You have to fix this!
576
00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:37,671
Yeah! Fix her! You're the father!
577
00:18:37,672 --> 00:18:39,752
If you're not gonna provide
us with a lavish lifestyle,
578
00:18:39,753 --> 00:18:41,114
the least you can do is fix mom!
579
00:18:41,115 --> 00:18:43,779
It's true. I just found out
we're on the poverty line.
580
00:18:43,780 --> 00:18:45,085
There's a chart at college,
581
00:18:45,086 --> 00:18:47,249
and in Monaco, we are way below it!
582
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,387
She's in bad shape.
583
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,122
When amenjula the moth emperor
584
00:18:50,123 --> 00:18:52,188
revealed the secret passage
to the new cave of knowledge,
585
00:18:52,189 --> 00:18:53,866
she just laid there like a silligan!
586
00:18:53,867 --> 00:18:55,796
[Wailing continues]
587
00:18:55,797 --> 00:18:57,490
How are you just sitting there?!
588
00:18:57,491 --> 00:18:58,645
- Do something, please!
- She's your wife!
589
00:18:58,646 --> 00:19:00,105
How am I supposed to fix it?!
590
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:02,798
If the pictures are gone,
then the pictures are gone!
591
00:19:02,799 --> 00:19:05,050
Brick: Please! Comfort her!
You need to be compassionate!
592
00:19:05,051 --> 00:19:06,072
She's your wife! Comfort your wife!
593
00:19:06,506 --> 00:19:08,016
Ow! Damn it!
594
00:19:13,083 --> 00:19:16,036
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry,
sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!
595
00:19:16,037 --> 00:19:18,034
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
596
00:19:18,035 --> 00:19:19,868
Run, Sue! Run to the bathroom
with the lock that works!
597
00:19:19,869 --> 00:19:20,667
There isn't one!
598
00:19:20,668 --> 00:19:23,142
What the hell is wrong with you?!
599
00:19:23,143 --> 00:19:25,384
- Sue: Aah!
- Has everyone lost their minds?!
600
00:19:25,385 --> 00:19:26,363
It would be nice
601
00:19:26,364 --> 00:19:28,556
if this family had one Christmas...
602
00:19:28,557 --> 00:19:31,322
- [glass shatters]
- Brick: Oh! The cat perfume!
603
00:19:31,323 --> 00:19:32,325
Ho!
604
00:19:32,326 --> 00:19:34,087
God!
605
00:19:34,088 --> 00:19:35,668
[Indistinct shouting]
606
00:19:42,303 --> 00:19:45,801
Frankie: Clearly, we're a
family that needs church.
607
00:19:45,802 --> 00:19:49,967
And on Earth, peace and
goodwill toward all.
608
00:19:49,968 --> 00:19:55,651
But... How can we truly
achieve peace on Earth?
609
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:58,497
Frankie: Unfortunately, we got there late.
610
00:19:58,498 --> 00:20:01,495
So we were in the third overflow room,
611
00:20:01,496 --> 00:20:04,356
which is conveniently located
in the church nursery.
612
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:13,200
Frankie: Yep, so, we pretty much
hecked up our Christmas Eve,
613
00:20:13,201 --> 00:20:15,088
but in the light of morning,
614
00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:16,536
things always look a little better.
615
00:20:18,262 --> 00:20:20,654
I'm cold. Can we close the door now?
616
00:20:20,655 --> 00:20:22,276
Is the smell gone?
617
00:20:22,277 --> 00:20:23,763
My eyes burn a little less now.
618
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,632
Actually, Frankie, I got
you something else.
619
00:20:25,633 --> 00:20:26,517
Really?
620
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:28,569
What could be better than a set
of 5-pound travel weights?
621
00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:30,321
Ah, I got a good feeling about this one.
622
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,610
[Gasps] Oh, my God!
623
00:20:33,611 --> 00:20:35,486
Oh! It's the old pictures!
624
00:20:35,487 --> 00:20:36,675
Oh, my God!
625
00:20:36,676 --> 00:20:39,655
I forgot I put them in the
"Soul Train compilation" box!
626
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:42,000
Oh, Mike! Where did you find them?
627
00:20:42,001 --> 00:20:43,910
I stayed up after you went to bed,
628
00:20:43,911 --> 00:20:45,201
and I found the "Soul Train" box
629
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:46,929
stuffed into a Barbie penthouse box
630
00:20:46,930 --> 00:20:48,586
- in the basement.
- Aww!
631
00:20:48,587 --> 00:20:50,420
Wait... where are the "Soul Train" CDs?
632
00:20:50,421 --> 00:20:51,657
Easy, girl.
633
00:20:51,658 --> 00:20:54,139
Sorry I couldn't get the
ones off the computer,
634
00:20:54,140 --> 00:20:56,671
but, you know, I still call time, so...
635
00:20:58,949 --> 00:20:59,721
Aww!
636
00:20:59,722 --> 00:21:01,456
- Here's Sue as a baby.
- Aww!
637
00:21:01,457 --> 00:21:03,031
Oh! And here's Axl.
638
00:21:03,032 --> 00:21:04,546
Is this one of me?
639
00:21:04,547 --> 00:21:06,249
Sure.
640
00:21:11,615 --> 00:21:12,840
What are pictures, anyway?
641
00:21:12,841 --> 00:21:14,838
Little moments of time you freeze
642
00:21:14,839 --> 00:21:16,159
so you can save them forever.
643
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,266
But sometimes, the memories
that really stick with you
644
00:21:19,267 --> 00:21:21,211
are the ones you'd rather forget.
645
00:21:22,367 --> 00:21:26,033
Sync and Corrections by peterbrito
www.addic7ed.com
646
00:21:26,083 --> 00:21:30,633
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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