All language subtitles for The Middle s06e08 The College Tour.eng

[Crow caws]

[Door opens]

Hey, dad, did you say you
wanted me to get you up at 6:10?

No one's ever said that
in this house. [Groans]

I said 8:00.

Ohh, okay.

[Door closes, opens]

Unless you wanted to get up
now since you're already awake.

We could get the college tour going early.

Nope. I'm good. Wait until 8:00.

Got it.

[Door closes, opens]

- [Groans]
- I'm sorry.

I just have to say that can you believe

in a year from now I won't even be here?

Why don't you go back to your room now

so we can start getting
used to what that feels like?

Okay. Got it.

You might as well get up
now. She's not gonna go away.

[Groans]

Frankie: So with me stuck having to work,

Mike was the designated driver

on Sue's first whirlwind
weekend of college tours.

All right, everyone. I'd like
to welcome you all to I.U.

Today, we'll be starting our tour

in front of our chemistry building.

"Chemistry building."

I'm gonna need to draw a
map. Which way is north?

Over 180 majors.

This may be of interest to
you... we also offer a minor

in native American and indigenous peoples.

- Oh.
- Okay, now, I know

a lot of you want to know
about student housing, so...

Man: Wait. I have a question.

Is there any nearby housing for parents?

'Cause I don't think
Maddie here can survive

without her Saturday
morning super daddy pancakes.

- [Laughs]
- Maddie: [Chuckling] Dad, stop.

You're making me hungry.

Secret ingredient is love.
I'm kidding. It's cinnamon.

[Chuckles] Okay. Uh, let's move on.

Oh, when we pass by Willkie auditorium,

remind me to tell you

about our traditional first nations powwow.

There's a huge inter-tribal
dance. So amazing.

- [Door closes]
- Frankie: Hey, Brick.

So, listen. I was thinking.

It's just you and me this whole weekend.

Why don't we do something special?

When's the last time we
did anything together,

just the two of us?

Hmm, when you took me to the pediatrician

to get that tetanus shot.

- [Sighs]
- [Telephone ringing]

All right, while I get that,
why don't you make a list

of all the things you
want to do this weekend?

Anything at all... your pick.

- Really? Great.
- [Beep]

Hello? Hey, Axl! Is everything okay?

What? Are you kidding me?

They're playing him. They're playing you?

Well, uh, yeah. Of course I'll be there.

Okay, well, I'll see you in a bit, then.

Whoo-hoo!

All right, well, um,
slight change of plans.

Axl's coach is finally
playing him tomorrow.

So we'll sleep over at Axl's tonight,

and then we can see
the game in the morning.

You know how much I love
football tournaments,

but we can't be gone the whole weekend.

We have a project due Monday.

What? What project?

We have to build a car that
can go 50 feet, or we fail.

And how much have "we" done?

Well, we're still in the research phase.

- So nothing.
- Pretty much.

Brick! [Sighs]

Fine. I'm just gonna have
to get somebody to watch you.

I'm sorry, but I'm not
missing Axl's first game

because you didn't plan ahead.

You're gonna have to figure
this one out yourself.

This is your project, not mine. [Dialing]

Hey, you sure you don't want my bed?

I can crash on the couch.

No way. You have a big game tomorrow.

You got to sleep in your own bed.

Hmm.

Axl, have you ever cleaned that bathroom?

Hey, we're on it. We're
flushing every time now.

Seriously, if you ever want
to have a girl over here,

you got to take care of that.

Do you even have any cleaning products?

I don't know. Did you
bring cleaning products?

- [Chuckles]
- [Sighs]

[Doorbell rings]

Well, the response to the
Brick babysitting sweepstakes

was not great, so I had
to take what I could get.

Good eventide, Brick.

I'm the first shift here to watch you.

Okay.

[Dog barking in distance]

I didn't know what you liked to do,

so I brought some toys from my childhood...

a block of wood and a rock.

Are you hungry? If you
show me to your hatchery,

I could strangle us a chicken for dinner.

No, thanks. I just had a pizza pocket.

What's this?

They're making us build a car for science.

At this point, I'm looking
down the barrel of an "F."

Hmm. May I have a go?

I've watched our smithy
change many a buggy wheel.

Hmm.

- Help yourself.
- Oh, no.

I'm not allowed to have that.

But may I trouble you for a bowl of wheat?

It was really nice of
Rosalie to let us stay here.

How exactly are we related to her again?

Eh, she might be an aunt,

maybe just one of those
people you call an aunt.

Anyway, she's always at
the funerals. I know that.

- [Cellphone ringing]
- [Sighs]

- [Beep]
- Hey.

- Hey. How's it going there?
- Uh, okay.

The tour was fine. A
lot of annoying parents.

Annoying to you, or
annoying to other people?

[Chuckles] No, there was one guy,

"super daddy pancakes,"
who wouldn't shut up.

He drove me nuts.

Super daddy pancakes?

Yeah, you know, remember the guy

that we hated at the thing
last year? Just way too into it.

At a certain age, you should stop

being excited about life... all I'm saying.

Hey, you are never gonna
believe where I am. I'm at Axl's.

Axl's coach is putting him
in. He's actually playing.

You're kidding me! That's great!

So, what did he say?

- When's he putting him in?
- Tomorrow.

- W... tomorrow?
- Yeah, that's the bad news.

- You're not gonna be here.
- What? No way.

I got to be there. Come on.

We can meet at a Stuckey's
and swap the kids.

Mike, you know how excited Sue
is to be on that trip with you.

She didn't hear you say that, did she?

No, she's got headphones in.

Listen, she falls asleep,

I throw a pillowcase over her head,

we make the switch in
the middle of the night,

and nobody's the wiser.

Nice try.

[Muffled] I got to go.
I got a big day tomorrow.

Yeah, my big day is what you have.

Mm-hmm. Bye.

[Beep] Hey, dad...

Why do you think the tour guide
gave me all these brochures?

There's a cherokee weaving workshop,

and here's one on the headdress
exhibit at the art museum.

Hmm, that's weird. They didn't
give that stuff to anybody else?

- Mnh-mnh.
- I don't know.

- It's not like you're native American.
- Yes, I am.

N-no, Sue. You're not.

Sure, I am. I mean, that's
what I put on my forms.

What? Why did you do that?

'Cause I'm a native of
America. I'm a native American.

Sue, now they think you're native American!

Right, a native American.

[Sighs] Say, "I'm a native American."

I'm a native American.

Ohh! I hear it now.

Well, what was I supposed to check?

There was no other
option that seemed right.

It's not like we're
"ca-kah-zee-an."

Actually, Sue, we are.

What?!

Oh, my God, this is horrible!

They're gonna think that I
tried to pull one over on them,

that I lied on my forms,

and it says it's a felony
to lie on those forms.

Oh, my God! I committed a felony!

[Gasps]

[Music box plays]

[Vomits]

Whoo! Yeah, Dragons!

Oh, is your son playing?

Mine, too.

He's right over there... the cute one.

No, they're all cute. I'm not like that.

[Chuckles]

Oh, I think he's going in. [Gasps]

Announcer: Now entering the
game, number 37, Axl Heck.

- Whoo-hoo! Axl! Go Axl!
- [Whistle blows]

[All grunting]

[All groan]

Announcer: Now leaving the game, number 37,

Axl Heck. [Booing]

[Chuckles] Gee, I wonder when
they're gonna put my son in.

Hi, gang. Welcome to Butler.

I can't wait to tell you all
about our beautiful campus.

Oh. Okay, yes.

Hi. I just wanted to say
that I am white... all white.

So I'm only interested
in clubs for white people

or art made by only white people...

not native Americans, because
I'm definitely not that.

So please don't show me anything
or talk to me about anything

that is not exclusively for white people.

Well, that school was a little
out of our price range, anyway.

I just didn't want people to think

that I lied on my application
or that I was a liar in any way.

I just wanted to make it clear what I was.

Oh, I think you made it very clear.

[Door opens, closes]

The Chuck is here.

The fun starts now, baby Mike.

My mom asked you to watch me?

Not exactly. She asked
Dave, 'cause he's a dad.

But he had dad stuff to
do, so the Chuck stepped in.

The Chuck likes to keep
his schedule wide open

for all kinds of "life-ortunities."

You don't mind if I drum while you
do your baby Mike thing, do you?

I bring these
with me everywhere I go.

Mm. How long have you been playing?

Since today.

What you working on?

Science project.

Oh, school? More like prison of your mind.

The day they told me I had
to wear a shirt in class,

that was it. They just want
to turn you into a robot,

get you to work for the man.

Don't you work for the man?

Only until I get my jet ski paid off.

Then I'm riding the river
all the way to the Gulf.

There's no river that goes
from Orson to any Gulf.

That's just your schooling talking to ya.

Yes, it is.

Yes, it is.

Welcome to Ball State,
guys. My name is Marcus.

I'm a junior.

- I'm also on the cheerleading squad.
- Coming through. Sorry we're late.

[Chuckles]

- Hey, tall guy from Orson.
- How you doing?

Good. Well, you know, every
day you spend with your kids

is a blessing. Am I right?

Great. Glad everyone's here.

So, let's figure out which of
you came the longest distance.

Man: Cincinnati.

Woman: Milwaukee!

Well, we didn't come from far away,

but Maddie and I have this great book

of old-timey
ice-cream parlors,

and we've been trying to visit them all

- and check them off the list.
- [Sighs]

So if you tally up the miles...

He asked for the longest distance,

not the longest answer. [Chuckles]

Ha! We kind of know each other.

Come on, Axl. It wasn't that bad.

You're just focused on it
'cause it happened to you.

Could we please not talk about it, please?

Fine, fine, fine.

I won't talk. Let me just hold you.

Y-you know what made me mad

is that the coach didn't
put you back in again

so you could redeem yourself.

Because after you dropped the ball,

the other team got so far ahead,

it really wouldn't have mattered.

It's just that you're usually so good.

I don't know. It seems like
you took your eye off the ball.

Did the coach tell you to do that?

Yes, that's what he told me to do. [Scoffs]

I don't know if this will
help, but I have it on my phone.

It's like game film. That's a thing, right?

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like here.

Now, could you have
picked up the ball again

and... and run with it, or
is that against the rules?

'Cause... 'cause it looks
like after you dropped it,

you just kind of stood there.

Oh, my God! Make it stop!

He fumbled on the goal line?

Yep. Played for a total of 9 seconds.

- Oh, damn.
- I know, and he's in a really bad place.

I mean, I've been trying to explain to him

that it's really not that
big a deal and, you know,

probably in like 10 or 20
years, no one will remember,

but he just keeps telling
me to leave him alone.

Well, then leave him alone.

Guys don't like talking
about stuff like that.

I didn't talk to him the whole time.

I mostly tried to be quiet
and, you know, just hold him.

- Oh, man.
- Look, I'm doing the best I can.

- How are things with Sue?
- Uh... Fine.

She's... she's... she's in the bathroom

kind of crying or something.

Crying? Why is she crying?

I don't know. Something about a tray.

Stupid remote. Why don't
they make them all the same?

- A tray? What tray?
- I don't know!

You now know as much as I do.

Sh-sh-she closed the door and
doesn't want to talk about it.

What about a closed door makes
you think she doesn't want to talk?

A closed door means she wants to talk.

[Groans]

Well, clearly, we each have the wrong kid.

[Sighs]

Sue, you... you want to talk?

Or are you doing business in there?

I put the litter box back in the tub.

[Sniffles, sighs] So, how
do we know Trudy again?

She's saving us 80 bucks.
That's how we know Trudy.

So... Something about a tray or something?

Oh, dad, it was horrible.

Remember when we went to
the cafeteria for a snack?

Well, I grabbed a tray,
and... and the woman said

I was in the wrong place
and I had the wrong tray,

and she just kept asking me,
"what's your dining plan?"

And I didn't know what to do, so
I just dropped the tray and ran.

So, Ball State is out.

- That's fine.
- No!

Dad, that's not it. Don't you see?

How am I gonna do well in college

if I can't even master
the cafeteria or the tours

or ask any questions without
creating a racial incident?

Maybe I'm not ready to
be away from you and mom.

Maybe I'm not ready for college.

Well, you know...

It'll be better in the morning.

[Clears throat]

[Whirring]

Aww, there's my big sleeper.

How about you buy your mom some breakfast?

I'll pay. I just want to stay home, okay?

[Sighs] Axl, you can't hide
from your teammates forever.

[Scoffs] It's not about that.

- Well, what is it about, then?
- [Sighs]

N-never mind. We don't
have to talk about it.

You stay... I'll run and
grab us some breakfast

and maybe pee somewhere with a toilet seat.

Fine.

[Sighs deeply]

I invited Devin Levin to the game.

[Gasps] I knew it! You like her!

Oh, my God. Stop smiling. I knew
I shouldn't have said anything.

No. It's fine. Go on. I won't smile.

She was at the game.
She saw what I did. I...

[sighs] There's no coming back from that.

Now I just got to make sure
I never see her ever again...

ever.

Axl, you're both on the same campus.

You're gonna run into her eventually.

No. I figured it out.

I just have to skip all
my Wednesday classes,

scurry along the rooftop to econ,

and change my major to nursing.

Come on, Axl. I-I may not
know much about football.

But here's the good news.
I do know about women.

God, now I've really hit rock bottom.

I'm getting dating advice from my mom.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

We know you guys aren't perfect.

Uh, take me... I married a man

with all the sensitivity
of an Easter Island statue.

Guess what. I love him anyway.

Ugh. I do not want to hear about
my parents loving each other.

I'm just saying, you make a mistake,

you got to own it. Show her
that it doesn't faze you.

Believe me... there's nothing
more attractive to a girl

than a guy who's confident.

But a guy who's sneaking
around trying to avoid her...

not so much.

Is it okay that I have
my hand here for a minute?

It's okay.

Hmm.

Are we all together? Okay, great.

And this brings us back to the dining hall.

Before you all go in and have lunch,

does anybody have any questions?

Mm...

Yes?

So, if you were starting
over as a freshman,

is there anything you wish you had known?

Hmm. Now, that's an excellent question.

Well, I wish I would have known

that the blue trays were for visitors

and the red trays were for
meal plans, I'll tell you that.

Really.

Dad, I am gonna go get some college food.

- Do you want any?
- No, I'm good. You go ahead.

Okay.

[Indistinct conversations]

- Can you believe it?
- Mm.

How are we gonna fill the
hours when they're gone, huh?

[Sighs]

Soon, all we'll have are memories

of those Sunday-night
daddy/daughter dates,

the Teddy-bear picnics, the
scavenger hunts in the backyard.

Mm.

But, hey, it's the memories
that sustain us. Am I right?

Not really. My son's at East Indiana state.

And he's always home. They
got a lot of vacation days.

I'm just saying. You got
to savor every moment.

Like, a couple of months ago,

Maddie was going to her homecoming dance,

and she wanted to borrow
my red mustang convertible.

- I mean, that car is my pride and joy.
- Hmm.

But the morning of the dance,
I washed it, cleaned the tires,

and polished the leather...
had that thing shining like new.

Before she left for the
night, I took a picture of her

in her homecoming dress,
standing in front of it.

Well, here's the thing.

Later, when I looked at that picture,

all I could see was her
and... how much time had gone.

Didn't even see the car.

Now, remember, when it comes
to glitter, more is more.

A-a-a-nd... Done!

That's fine, but it still doesn't go.

With what? Glitter is a
neutral. It goes with everything.

No, I heard it has something to
do with rubber bands and tension.

Okay, well, whenever I
have a big job ahead of me,

I just imagine the montage
of what I would have done

to finish it and work backwards.

Like, first, we'd flick
paint on each other and laugh.

Then you'd hand me a
hammer to use on the car,

but then we reveal that I'm
using it to crack walnuts.

Then we'd get mad at each other.

I'd blow my hair out of my
eyes in frustration. [Blows]

And at some point, we're in front of
a mirror, trying on different hats.

Finally, we slump to
the ground, back-to-back,

exhausted after a job well done.

I'm a dead man.

Hey, Axl? I put your sheets back upsta...

Hey, Devin. It's Axl.

[Chuckles] That's cool.

Um, you know, just chillin'. [Chuckles]

So, uh, did you do
anything exciting yesterday?

Devin: Well, I went to a football game.

It didn't end that well, though.
Somebody blew a simple hand-off.

[Chuckles] What are you talking about?

I dedicated that fumble to you.
What did you want? A touchdown?

I thought you were
different from other girls.

[Chuckles] Where was
that hustle on the field?

- Good one.
- [Frankie squeals, chuckles]

So, what are you doing
now? You want to, like,

maybe grab some food or something?

Yeah, I know that place. All right.

Okay, I finished my list of pros and cons.

I have 75 pros and 86 super-pros.

I don't have any cons, 'cause it just seems

so negative, and they all tried so hard.

- Hmm.
- And, you know, dad,

I read that brochure about
native American studies,

and it actually seems super-interesting.

I think I might even minor in it, hmm?

And it'd be perfect for me,

because I just love America so much.

- [Yawning] Night, dad.
- Good night.

[Sighs]

- Hey, Sue.
- Hmm?

You ever feel bad that I never...

You know, made you super daddy pancakes?

No. Why?

Well, I don't know. That...

that guy and his daughter are
always doing stuff together.

Did you ever wish I was,
you know, more like him?

Wha... dad, no.

Why would you even say that?

You're amazing. My whole life,

you made sure my bike tires were pumped up.

You let me ride on your shoulders
when I cleaned out the gutter.

Whenever mom yells, "I
just can't do it anymore,"

you make my lunch for a few days.

And best of all, when you find
a pretty rock at the quarry,

you always bring it home for me.

I mean, come on. Nobody
else's dad does that.

You're the greatest dad in the whole world.

Hello? That's why I got you the
mug... "world's greatest dad."

Mugs don't lie.

You remember all that stuff?

Of course. I don't want
some bouncy, pancake dad.

If I did, it wouldn't be you.

Sometimes as a parent,

it's easy to think you're not doing enough.

But the truth is,

it's the little things you do along the way

that end up being the big things.

All right, Brick, you're
up next. Let's see it.

[Students cheering]

Yep, Brick's car went farther
than any other car that day.

It's true what they
say. It takes a village.

Of course, in this case,

none of the villagers were Brick.

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