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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,075 --> 00:00:02,801 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:02,896 --> 00:00:04,164 [ Crow caws ] 3 00:00:05,377 --> 00:00:07,408 Frankie: The one thing all parents look forward to 4 00:00:07,504 --> 00:00:10,815 is their kids coming home from college for winter break. 5 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,430 Until they've been there a couple weeks. 6 00:00:13,593 --> 00:00:14,401 [ Sighs ] 7 00:00:15,286 --> 00:00:16,339 Axl. 8 00:00:16,501 --> 00:00:17,790 How many times have I told you 9 00:00:17,858 --> 00:00:19,971 stop leaving your stuff everywhere. 10 00:00:20,078 --> 00:00:23,356 Seriously, this house is so much cleaner when you're not here. 11 00:00:23,601 --> 00:00:26,161 [ Groans ] Fine! 12 00:00:26,815 --> 00:00:29,381 Why are you always thinking things are gonna get better, huh? 13 00:00:29,470 --> 00:00:31,051 Just give up, mom. This is your life. 14 00:00:31,872 --> 00:00:33,145 Because of that comment, 15 00:00:33,228 --> 00:00:34,744 you're also gonna go clean up your room. 16 00:00:34,818 --> 00:00:36,746 I want you to get rid of whatever you don't need anymore. 17 00:00:36,811 --> 00:00:39,714 You have junk in there that you haven't used since you were 5. 18 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:40,811 Oh, my God. 19 00:00:40,884 --> 00:00:42,251 I go to college, and you want to erase 20 00:00:42,339 --> 00:00:44,800 any trace of me, like I never even existed. 21 00:00:45,043 --> 00:00:46,531 Now you're getting it. 22 00:00:46,827 --> 00:00:48,591 - Mm. - [ Door opens ] 23 00:00:48,953 --> 00:00:50,955 [ Colin Firth barking ] 24 00:00:51,057 --> 00:00:52,059 [ Sighs ] 25 00:00:53,079 --> 00:00:55,289 How are those "Found Dog" fliers coming? 26 00:00:55,401 --> 00:00:57,609 - Oh, you know, I haven't heard anything. - Hmm. 27 00:00:57,704 --> 00:00:59,163 'Cause you haven't done anything yet. 28 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,850 Saw a big stack of them just sitting in your trunk. 29 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:02,939 You know, you're the only one 30 00:01:03,036 --> 00:01:05,334 that has a problem with Colin Firth anymore. 31 00:01:06,695 --> 00:01:08,101 It's not his fault. 32 00:01:08,186 --> 00:01:10,619 He just barks at you 'cause he's scared of your face. 33 00:01:10,705 --> 00:01:12,618 You have a hostile resting face. 34 00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:14,160 A what? 35 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,869 A hostile resting face-- HRF, Mike. 36 00:01:16,953 --> 00:01:19,682 It's a thing. See? Right there. 37 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,008 You always look like you're just a little pissed off. 38 00:01:22,306 --> 00:01:24,281 Good. That's what I'm going for. 39 00:01:25,728 --> 00:01:27,488 [ Groans ] 40 00:01:29,635 --> 00:01:30,978 Hey, buddy! 41 00:01:31,128 --> 00:01:33,288 How would you like to play this new game I invented? 42 00:01:33,368 --> 00:01:36,994 I call it "Extreme Room Makeover, Brick Edition." 43 00:01:37,129 --> 00:01:38,999 - Ahh! - If it's anything like your other games, 44 00:01:39,131 --> 00:01:42,567 Hamper Hostage, Drier Ride, and Toilet Explorer, 45 00:01:42,682 --> 00:01:43,996 I think I'll pass. 46 00:01:44,108 --> 00:01:46,777 Besides, I've got a new book I'm very excited about 47 00:01:46,953 --> 00:01:49,223 and wish not to be disturbed. 48 00:01:52,347 --> 00:01:54,172 "Unsinkable" by Debbie Reynolds? 49 00:01:54,287 --> 00:01:56,649 It's on the branch librarian's list of winter must-reads. 50 00:01:56,759 --> 00:01:57,741 She was dead-on about 51 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,653 Nora Ephron's "I Feel Bad About My Neck," 52 00:01:59,739 --> 00:02:01,394 and this is supposed to be just as good. 53 00:02:01,472 --> 00:02:02,520 Mm, okay. 54 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,016 Here's the thing, Brick. [ Clears throat ] 55 00:02:04,093 --> 00:02:05,331 It's not exactly a choice. 56 00:02:05,405 --> 00:02:06,527 Now, you can help me, 57 00:02:06,689 --> 00:02:09,696 or your book can be the next contestant on Toilet Explorer, 58 00:02:09,857 --> 00:02:12,434 and I'm guessing it's really not that unsinkable. 59 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 60 00:02:28,541 --> 00:02:29,669 Frankie! 61 00:02:30,392 --> 00:02:31,391 You leaving? 62 00:02:31,483 --> 00:02:32,521 Oh, hey. 63 00:02:32,646 --> 00:02:34,986 Yeah, just thinking about packing up. 64 00:02:35,074 --> 00:02:35,702 [ Chuckles ] 65 00:02:35,778 --> 00:02:37,617 I can't believe it's the end of the day already. 66 00:02:37,704 --> 00:02:40,537 Time just flew, huh? So, I'll see you tomorrow. 67 00:02:40,647 --> 00:02:42,254 Ah, okay. Well, just always seems like 68 00:02:42,334 --> 00:02:44,256 you're running out the door, so... 69 00:02:44,348 --> 00:02:46,379 No, you know what? I'm not actually running. 70 00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:47,659 I'm just low to the ground, 71 00:02:47,743 --> 00:02:50,474 so it seems like I'm moving faster than I really am. 72 00:02:50,569 --> 00:02:51,095 [ Chuckles ] 73 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,406 Well, you're not running anywhere tonight 74 00:02:53,543 --> 00:02:55,916 except to grab a burger with me. 75 00:02:56,086 --> 00:02:58,217 Oh, you don't have to do that. 76 00:02:58,315 --> 00:02:59,182 Nonsense. 77 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,111 You had me over for Thanksgiving, 78 00:03:01,192 --> 00:03:03,433 and I haven't even taken you out for a single meal. 79 00:03:03,581 --> 00:03:05,914 Okay, then. G-great. 80 00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:07,412 Yes, it would be much more fun 81 00:03:07,490 --> 00:03:08,915 going to dinner with my boss 82 00:03:09,013 --> 00:03:12,579 instead of just going home and watching The Bachelor. 83 00:03:12,663 --> 00:03:14,287 Super! [ Chuckles ] 84 00:03:16,803 --> 00:03:17,817 Keep. 85 00:03:19,031 --> 00:03:21,071 - Keep. - Keep? 86 00:03:21,170 --> 00:03:21,814 Whatever. 87 00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:23,342 Just keep. I don't care. Just keep it. 88 00:03:25,004 --> 00:03:26,233 Hey. 89 00:03:26,311 --> 00:03:27,466 Have some respect. 90 00:03:27,580 --> 00:03:29,620 That's only my city championship jersey 91 00:03:29,713 --> 00:03:31,436 from the most glorious moment of my life. 92 00:03:31,550 --> 00:03:33,274 Duh, keep. 93 00:03:33,991 --> 00:03:36,749 You know, Memory Lane Adventure actually sounded fun 94 00:03:36,849 --> 00:03:37,884 when you first came up with it, 95 00:03:38,004 --> 00:03:40,895 but now I'm starting to think this was just another scam 96 00:03:40,975 --> 00:03:43,526 to make us do your work for you. 97 00:03:43,605 --> 00:03:45,407 I'll give you five more minutes and I'm done. 98 00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:46,894 I need to find out how it all pans out 99 00:03:46,974 --> 00:03:48,766 between Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher, 100 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,934 and also who Eddie Fisher is. 101 00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:54,883 There's something big stuck back here. 102 00:03:54,991 --> 00:03:55,645 Ew. 103 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,766 Wedged... [ Grunts ] 104 00:03:58,841 --> 00:03:59,588 [ Gasps ] 105 00:03:59,685 --> 00:04:02,025 Oh... right! 106 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,140 [ Laughs ] That's hilarious. 107 00:04:04,238 --> 00:04:06,299 - I totally forgot about that. - Axl. 108 00:04:06,386 --> 00:04:09,400 You stole my Thundering Hens mascot head? 109 00:04:09,508 --> 00:04:10,592 It was you? 110 00:04:10,687 --> 00:04:12,047 Pretty awesome prank, though, right? 111 00:04:12,128 --> 00:04:13,722 You totally thought it was Roosevelt High. 112 00:04:13,816 --> 00:04:16,069 O-objectively speaking, you got to appreciate 113 00:04:16,157 --> 00:04:17,632 how genius it was. [ Clicks tongue ] 114 00:04:17,722 --> 00:04:19,429 Do you realize what you did to me? 115 00:04:19,524 --> 00:04:22,771 I suffered incredibly intense humiliation because of this. 116 00:04:22,888 --> 00:04:24,450 Brad got into a very dangerous 117 00:04:24,523 --> 00:04:25,829 dance fight because of this. 118 00:04:25,925 --> 00:04:28,878 I was a Chicken Bear instead of a Thundering Hen 119 00:04:28,981 --> 00:04:31,907 for a whole year because of this! 120 00:04:32,085 --> 00:04:33,239 [ Clicks tongue ] Oops. 121 00:04:33,313 --> 00:04:35,211 - [ Chuckles ] - You are dead. 122 00:04:35,354 --> 00:04:37,266 You are so, so dead! 123 00:04:37,353 --> 00:04:38,888 No! Ow! No! 124 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,883 [ Screaming ] 125 00:04:41,868 --> 00:04:42,519 Oh! 126 00:04:43,175 --> 00:04:43,821 [ Door opens ] 127 00:04:43,912 --> 00:04:45,914 [ Groans ] I didn't mean to be out so late. 128 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,519 Turns out Dr. Goodwin has a long story about everything. 129 00:04:49,627 --> 00:04:52,092 On the plus side, I brought you dinner. 130 00:04:52,245 --> 00:04:53,195 Well, that's something. 131 00:04:53,317 --> 00:04:55,569 All I could find in the fridge is an old jar of salsa 132 00:04:55,676 --> 00:04:57,070 and Axl's pants. 133 00:04:57,223 --> 00:05:00,324 - Bleu cheese! - Dr. Goodwin likes it. 134 00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:01,398 And, hey, if you don't want it 135 00:05:01,491 --> 00:05:04,325 there's a dog here that would be more than happy to eat it. 136 00:05:04,441 --> 00:05:05,828 Yeah, speaking of that, you can't go out 137 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,608 carousing with your boss till 9:00 at night 138 00:05:07,692 --> 00:05:10,381 when you got a dog here that needs to be walked. 139 00:05:10,485 --> 00:05:13,195 Look, Dr. Goodwin's a billion times nicer than Mr. Ehlert, 140 00:05:13,276 --> 00:05:14,949 but he could still fire me, Mike. 141 00:05:15,036 --> 00:05:16,926 I'm really not that good at my job. 142 00:05:17,023 --> 00:05:19,461 - Mm. Axl: - It was a joke! God! 143 00:05:19,568 --> 00:05:22,068 Let it go! You're so lame you can't even take a joke? 144 00:05:22,188 --> 00:05:23,495 No, I am done, Axl! 145 00:05:23,586 --> 00:05:25,833 I am not gonna let you hurt me anymore! 146 00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:26,929 Ohh. 147 00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,367 [ Laughs ] 148 00:05:28,732 --> 00:05:31,502 The point is, you could have walked the dog. 149 00:05:31,609 --> 00:05:32,980 It's really not that hard. 150 00:05:33,145 --> 00:05:34,417 Mike: Look, I'm not carrying a poop bag 151 00:05:34,525 --> 00:05:36,299 - for a dog I never signed off on. - [ Crash ] 152 00:05:36,385 --> 00:05:38,678 And I'm not buying your excuses about those fliers. 153 00:05:38,795 --> 00:05:39,474 [ Crash ] Aah! 154 00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:41,197 The tape won't stick in this weather? Really? 155 00:05:41,295 --> 00:05:44,313 Look, I understand that Colin Firth 156 00:05:44,398 --> 00:05:46,716 - is causing some disruption in our house. - [ Crash ] 157 00:05:46,812 --> 00:05:49,296 And I will entertain the idea of giving up 158 00:05:49,377 --> 00:05:51,316 this dog I love very much. 159 00:05:51,455 --> 00:05:52,909 But I think you are a decent person. 160 00:05:52,999 --> 00:05:53,989 - [ Sue screams ] - And as a decent person, 161 00:05:54,108 --> 00:05:55,708 you would see that it wouldn't be fair 162 00:05:55,808 --> 00:05:58,783 to-- to make me do it unless you really tried, 163 00:05:58,864 --> 00:06:00,182 because you're so decent. 164 00:06:00,258 --> 00:06:01,713 Because you have a lot of qualities, 165 00:06:01,797 --> 00:06:05,043 but decency is the one that really comes across. 166 00:06:05,387 --> 00:06:06,363 - [ Indistinct shouting ] - [ Sighs ] 167 00:06:06,438 --> 00:06:09,591 Please, Mike? It would make up for the hostile resting face. 168 00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:10,406 - [ Sighs ] - [ Axl laughs ] 169 00:06:10,513 --> 00:06:11,275 [ Clattering ] 170 00:06:11,350 --> 00:06:12,820 - [ Groans ] - Thank you! 171 00:06:12,909 --> 00:06:15,290 You give it a shot with the dog for two weeks. 172 00:06:15,391 --> 00:06:17,687 Really try, and if you guys don't bond, 173 00:06:17,782 --> 00:06:19,552 we'll seriously talk about finding him a different home. 174 00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:21,157 [ Grunts ] 175 00:06:21,503 --> 00:06:22,652 [ Groans ] 176 00:06:23,464 --> 00:06:25,671 Yeah, I'd love to say that a cutting board to the face 177 00:06:25,759 --> 00:06:28,025 was the end of Axl and Sue's epic fight. 178 00:06:28,156 --> 00:06:31,346 But unfortunately, it was just the beginning. 179 00:06:34,109 --> 00:06:37,814 No! [ Groans ] This did not just happen! 180 00:06:37,955 --> 00:06:39,614 Oh, yeah, it did. 181 00:06:39,876 --> 00:06:42,162 Uh, you brought this on yourself, Axl. 182 00:06:42,281 --> 00:06:43,518 You not only hurt me, 183 00:06:43,609 --> 00:06:45,689 y-you hurt the lives of all the innocent fans 184 00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:47,496 - who root for the Thundering Hens. - What? 185 00:06:47,584 --> 00:06:51,168 Besides, Axl, it's just a prank. Where's your sense of humor? 186 00:06:51,259 --> 00:06:53,136 You'll find out when my butt's in your face! 187 00:06:53,225 --> 00:06:55,802 [ Screaming ] 188 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,522 - [ Screams ] - Oh, God. 189 00:07:02,097 --> 00:07:03,210 - [ Grunting ] - [ Door slams ] 190 00:07:03,309 --> 00:07:04,515 Hey! Unlock the door right now! 191 00:07:04,614 --> 00:07:05,388 Still at it? 192 00:07:05,484 --> 00:07:07,192 - Yep. - Huh. 193 00:07:07,285 --> 00:07:08,165 So, hey. 194 00:07:08,290 --> 00:07:10,186 I'm gonna assume you haven't researched 195 00:07:10,278 --> 00:07:13,395 how to get a dog to like you, but I have. 196 00:07:13,623 --> 00:07:15,849 You can research how to get a dog to like you? 197 00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:17,321 Is that what the internet's for? 198 00:07:17,502 --> 00:07:19,749 Mm-hmm. A lot of good tips here, Mike. 199 00:07:19,841 --> 00:07:21,396 Oh, this is something that seems 200 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:24,247 made for you and your face problem. 201 00:07:24,359 --> 00:07:27,510 It says you should make sleepy eyes and then yawn 202 00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:30,173 so it makes the dog feel like you're not intimidating. 203 00:07:30,305 --> 00:07:32,177 Yeah, I'm not doing that. Next. 204 00:07:32,265 --> 00:07:33,706 Okay. Give it treats. 205 00:07:33,797 --> 00:07:35,594 Keep little pieces of meat in your pocket. 206 00:07:35,713 --> 00:07:37,748 Frankie, I ate salsa for dinner. 207 00:07:37,889 --> 00:07:40,084 Any meat in my pocket's going in my mouth. 208 00:07:40,287 --> 00:07:41,644 Okay, well, here's the list. 209 00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:43,700 You may peruse it at your leisure. 210 00:07:43,837 --> 00:07:45,989 I didn't put this much effort into raising our kids. 211 00:07:46,118 --> 00:07:47,890 - [ Door slams ] Axl: - You're so dead! 212 00:07:47,992 --> 00:07:49,617 - [ Sue screams ] - Clearly. 213 00:07:57,047 --> 00:07:59,894 Dad, you are not gonna believe what Axl did to me. 214 00:08:00,042 --> 00:08:01,466 Made you brush your teeth? 215 00:08:03,643 --> 00:08:05,316 This is so unfair. 216 00:08:05,430 --> 00:08:07,244 He doesn't even have a reason to be mad. 217 00:08:07,335 --> 00:08:08,517 I'm the one with the reason. 218 00:08:08,604 --> 00:08:10,531 - He started this last year with-- - Sorry, Sue. 219 00:08:10,621 --> 00:08:12,874 Can't hear any complaints that go back a year. 220 00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:14,948 Axl: Oh, look. 221 00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:16,829 The ugly bot has a new attachment-- 222 00:08:16,916 --> 00:08:18,466 toothbrush and tooth paste. 223 00:08:18,546 --> 00:08:19,530 [ Chuckles ] 224 00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:21,423 You! 225 00:08:21,494 --> 00:08:22,417 You are done! 226 00:08:22,490 --> 00:08:24,915 The days of me being your doormat are over! 227 00:08:25,316 --> 00:08:26,514 [ Both scream ] 228 00:08:27,393 --> 00:08:29,057 While Sue was standing up to Axl, 229 00:08:29,204 --> 00:08:32,658 I caved and said yes to shoe shopping with my boss. 230 00:08:32,833 --> 00:08:33,878 Well, once we narrowed it down 231 00:08:33,978 --> 00:08:36,614 between dull black and shiny black, 232 00:08:36,706 --> 00:08:37,759 things really picked up. 233 00:08:37,842 --> 00:08:38,796 [ Chuckles ] Yeah. 234 00:08:39,055 --> 00:08:39,970 Hey, Frankie. 235 00:08:40,254 --> 00:08:43,213 You know what shoes and people have in common? 236 00:08:43,347 --> 00:08:44,513 You know, I love suspense, 237 00:08:44,596 --> 00:08:47,346 - so why don't you tell me tomorrow? - Tongues! 238 00:08:47,526 --> 00:08:50,064 Cat got your tongue? No, I do. 239 00:08:50,169 --> 00:08:52,148 'Cause I'm checking you for oral cancer. 240 00:08:52,391 --> 00:08:53,865 'Cause I'm a dentist. 241 00:08:55,420 --> 00:08:57,906 Shoot, should have ended on cancer, right? 242 00:08:58,005 --> 00:08:59,237 'Cause that's the joke. 243 00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:02,098 What are you talking about? 244 00:09:02,227 --> 00:09:04,487 I'm giving stand-up comedy a whirl. 245 00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:06,651 - You are? - Yep. 246 00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,878 I'm gonna be performing down at The Giggle Gulch 247 00:09:08,993 --> 00:09:11,343 on Wednesday night, and I'd sure love to see 248 00:09:11,419 --> 00:09:13,289 your friendly face out there in the audience. 249 00:09:13,370 --> 00:09:16,524 Uh, I can't think of a reason why not. 250 00:09:16,607 --> 00:09:17,981 [ Chuckles ] Just give me a second. 251 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:19,172 Oh, shoot! 252 00:09:19,327 --> 00:09:22,514 That's the back-to-school rally booster concert. 253 00:09:22,583 --> 00:09:24,110 It's big. It's so big. 254 00:09:24,289 --> 00:09:27,722 Well, no problem. They said I could also go up on Thursday. 255 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:29,919 Catch me now before I'm on "Jiminy Kimmel." 256 00:09:30,017 --> 00:09:31,246 [ Chuckles ] 257 00:09:31,334 --> 00:09:33,196 I mean, who wouldn't want to give up a night at home 258 00:09:33,286 --> 00:09:35,217 to go see their boss try stand-up? 259 00:09:36,078 --> 00:09:37,195 [ Chuckles ] 260 00:09:38,134 --> 00:09:39,100 [ Sighs ] 261 00:09:39,839 --> 00:09:40,987 [ Whistling ] 262 00:09:42,032 --> 00:09:43,252 [ Chuckles ] 263 00:09:44,157 --> 00:09:45,553 [ Bubbling ] 264 00:09:47,147 --> 00:09:49,242 Sue! 265 00:09:50,605 --> 00:09:51,768 - [ Indistinct shouting ] - Yeah, Mike's not the kind of guy 266 00:09:51,860 --> 00:09:54,701 who tries new things, but he is a man of his word. 267 00:09:54,787 --> 00:09:55,652 [ Colin Firth barks ] 268 00:09:55,749 --> 00:09:57,313 So, going against his own judgment, 269 00:09:57,421 --> 00:09:59,768 he tried to befriend Colin Firth. 270 00:09:59,889 --> 00:10:00,771 [ Growling ] 271 00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:01,841 [ Barks ] 272 00:10:03,208 --> 00:10:04,866 [ Yawns ] 273 00:10:05,473 --> 00:10:06,554 [ Growling ] 274 00:10:06,634 --> 00:10:08,750 [ Yawns ] 275 00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:11,908 [ Growling ] 276 00:10:15,373 --> 00:10:16,684 [ Yawns ] 277 00:10:21,661 --> 00:10:22,610 "Unfortunately, though, 278 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,356 after the demise of yet another marriage, 279 00:10:24,476 --> 00:10:26,101 the Debbie Reynolds Hotel and Casino 280 00:10:26,199 --> 00:10:27,229 fell on hard times, 281 00:10:27,353 --> 00:10:30,212 and she was forced to declare bankruptcy in 1997." 282 00:10:30,372 --> 00:10:31,690 No! 283 00:10:31,780 --> 00:10:33,962 No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! 284 00:10:34,048 --> 00:10:35,388 Don't worry. She got back on her feet. 285 00:10:35,481 --> 00:10:37,497 _ 286 00:10:37,631 --> 00:10:38,644 [ Gasps ] 287 00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:41,437 [ Huffing ] 288 00:10:49,785 --> 00:10:51,430 Sue knew this had gone too far. 289 00:10:51,549 --> 00:10:53,151 Someone had to take the high road, 290 00:10:53,297 --> 00:10:55,913 and she knew it would never be Axl. 291 00:10:59,271 --> 00:11:00,955 [ Tapping ] 292 00:11:07,707 --> 00:11:08,879 [ Clears throat ] 293 00:11:10,934 --> 00:11:12,021 What are you doing? 294 00:11:12,115 --> 00:11:13,512 Let's end this, Axl. 295 00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:16,308 No more bubbles, no more superglue, 296 00:11:16,447 --> 00:11:18,853 no more embarrassing pictures. 297 00:11:19,037 --> 00:11:21,395 All you have to do is apologize 298 00:11:21,495 --> 00:11:22,861 for taking my Hen head, 299 00:11:22,969 --> 00:11:25,437 which is what you should have done in the first place, 300 00:11:25,581 --> 00:11:29,287 and then we can forget all about this. 301 00:11:30,387 --> 00:11:32,108 If not... 302 00:11:33,097 --> 00:11:34,781 - the jersey gets it. - Whoa, hey. 303 00:11:34,871 --> 00:11:36,293 - Don't mess with that. - Wow. 304 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:40,437 This city championship jersey was signed by your entire team, 305 00:11:40,553 --> 00:11:44,021 making this item irreplaceable. 306 00:11:44,159 --> 00:11:45,700 Uh-oh! [ Gasps ] 307 00:11:45,822 --> 00:11:47,488 [ Groans ] I'm sorry, okay? 308 00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:49,766 I'm sorry I took the Hen head. I thought it would be funny. 309 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,066 Clearly, it wasn't. I'm sorry. [ Grunts ] 310 00:11:52,143 --> 00:11:54,315 See? Now, was that so hard? 311 00:11:54,437 --> 00:11:55,983 - Oh, no! Oh! Aah! - [ Screams ] Oh, my God! 312 00:11:56,068 --> 00:11:57,637 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 313 00:11:57,739 --> 00:11:59,280 Oh! My-- [ Gasps ] 314 00:11:59,354 --> 00:12:00,804 Oh, Axl! I am so sorry! 315 00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:01,792 I didn't mean it. 316 00:12:01,886 --> 00:12:03,477 I was just trying to scare you and threaten you. 317 00:12:03,589 --> 00:12:05,881 This was just supposed to be an empty threat. 318 00:12:06,604 --> 00:12:09,996 Axl, say something! You have to say something! 319 00:12:11,742 --> 00:12:13,951 I have no sister. 320 00:12:14,518 --> 00:12:15,566 What? 321 00:12:15,643 --> 00:12:16,849 Of course you have a sister. 322 00:12:17,107 --> 00:12:21,117 You have to have a sister! I am your sister! 323 00:12:21,690 --> 00:12:23,341 [ Squeaking ] 324 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,263 [ Colin Firth growls, barks ] 325 00:12:35,327 --> 00:12:37,236 - Eh. - [ Barking ] 326 00:12:37,334 --> 00:12:38,442 I don't get you. 327 00:12:38,532 --> 00:12:41,135 I mean, I-I'm sorry. What is that? 328 00:12:41,202 --> 00:12:42,816 What-- what-- what are you barking at? 329 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:45,616 Half a potato chip? The President's at the door? 330 00:12:45,750 --> 00:12:47,351 All the same level with you. 331 00:12:47,716 --> 00:12:50,111 - [ Barks ] - Yeah. 332 00:12:50,379 --> 00:12:51,371 Okay. 333 00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:53,456 Remember, if I'm not home by 10:00, 334 00:12:53,554 --> 00:12:56,186 call my cellphone and pretend something horrible happened. 335 00:12:56,273 --> 00:12:57,252 You really doing this? 336 00:12:57,345 --> 00:12:59,007 Going to see your boss do comedy? 337 00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,812 What choice do I have? He signs my paychecks, 338 00:13:01,924 --> 00:13:03,712 and he seems to enjoy my company. 339 00:13:03,816 --> 00:13:04,840 I'm not like you. 340 00:13:04,928 --> 00:13:07,606 I don't scare people off with my stony disposition. 341 00:13:07,707 --> 00:13:09,961 I'm warm. I exude warmth. 342 00:13:10,038 --> 00:13:11,152 You don't know what that's like. 343 00:13:11,295 --> 00:13:12,817 It's a curse, really. 344 00:13:12,942 --> 00:13:14,683 You know, you don't have to talk to people. 345 00:13:14,811 --> 00:13:16,282 It's your choice. 346 00:13:16,799 --> 00:13:17,510 [ Door closes ] 347 00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:21,165 Yep, another night out on the town with my boss. 348 00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:22,947 Well, good thing there was a two-drink minimum. 349 00:13:23,083 --> 00:13:25,028 'Cause I needed about three. 350 00:13:25,273 --> 00:13:26,470 [ Applause ] 351 00:13:26,624 --> 00:13:27,799 Well, good evening. 352 00:13:27,922 --> 00:13:31,939 My name is Dr. Ted Goodwin, and I'm a dentist here in Orson, 353 00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:33,361 and guess what. 354 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:36,188 Four out of five of us hate you, too. 355 00:13:36,294 --> 00:13:37,417 [ Laughs ] 356 00:13:37,755 --> 00:13:39,548 Hey, did you know that mouth cancer 357 00:13:39,658 --> 00:13:42,321 causes 45,000 deaths per year? 358 00:13:42,968 --> 00:13:44,957 Can you believe that baloney? 359 00:13:45,735 --> 00:13:47,050 [ Door opens ] 360 00:13:47,685 --> 00:13:48,836 I need to read you something. 361 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,294 Oh, God, not the old-lady book again. 362 00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:52,032 [ Sighs ] 363 00:13:52,121 --> 00:13:55,309 No, this is from a young lady who's in a lot of pain. 364 00:13:55,655 --> 00:13:56,820 "My dearest brother. 365 00:13:56,942 --> 00:13:58,758 I know you're going back to college tomorrow. 366 00:13:58,864 --> 00:14:00,722 But before you go, I want you to know 367 00:14:00,860 --> 00:14:02,331 that I am so, so, 368 00:14:02,422 --> 00:14:04,679 so, so, so, so, so, 369 00:14:04,805 --> 00:14:06,890 so, so, very, very, ver--" 370 00:14:07,011 --> 00:14:08,036 Basically, she's sorry. 371 00:14:08,121 --> 00:14:10,340 - Yeah. - "In exchange for your forgiveness, 372 00:14:10,426 --> 00:14:12,269 I will allow you 10 Indian burns, 373 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,150 3 pink bellies, 2 Dutch ovens, 374 00:14:14,247 --> 00:14:15,599 and a chili dunk." 375 00:14:15,703 --> 00:14:18,050 She does stipulate that all this be done on a weekend 376 00:14:18,141 --> 00:14:20,006 - so she has time to recover. - Mm. 377 00:14:20,099 --> 00:14:23,060 Look, Axl, I really don't think you'll get better than this. 378 00:14:23,214 --> 00:14:25,648 My advice would be to accept the offer. 379 00:14:25,895 --> 00:14:26,800 [ Chuckles ] 380 00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:28,722 No. 381 00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:41,546 Come on, West, get in the game. 382 00:14:41,677 --> 00:14:42,480 Can you believe this guy? 383 00:14:42,565 --> 00:14:45,107 Four turnovers in a half. Get him out of there! 384 00:14:45,532 --> 00:14:47,350 That's a foul! Ref, call it! 385 00:14:47,723 --> 00:14:50,274 They never call a foul on Lebron. Never. 386 00:14:51,982 --> 00:14:53,963 All right, let's play some defense now. 387 00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:55,243 Come on, defense. 388 00:14:55,336 --> 00:14:57,062 Get in his face! Hands up! 389 00:14:57,603 --> 00:14:59,025 Here we go. 390 00:14:59,635 --> 00:15:02,108 Well, thanks so much for making me come out tonight. 391 00:15:02,190 --> 00:15:03,682 I really needed a good laugh. 392 00:15:03,765 --> 00:15:05,210 This was a bad idea. 393 00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:06,356 I mean, I just did it 394 00:15:06,462 --> 00:15:08,104 'cause I've been feeling kind of lonely, 395 00:15:08,187 --> 00:15:10,209 and stand-up seems so popular. 396 00:15:10,335 --> 00:15:11,824 But dentist? 397 00:15:11,999 --> 00:15:13,673 I mean, who wants to hang out with their dentist? 398 00:15:13,790 --> 00:15:15,846 Well, you've only been in town for a little bit. 399 00:15:15,929 --> 00:15:17,812 It takes a while to make friends. 400 00:15:18,394 --> 00:15:20,504 I've been here 20 years. 401 00:15:20,661 --> 00:15:22,503 Yikes. 402 00:15:22,843 --> 00:15:24,297 And I'm sorry, Frankie. 403 00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:26,011 I know I've been taking up a lot of your time. 404 00:15:26,230 --> 00:15:28,729 I guess ever since Toffee disappeared, 405 00:15:28,825 --> 00:15:31,281 I've just been looking for something to fill the void. 406 00:15:31,492 --> 00:15:32,398 Who's Toffee? 407 00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:34,843 Oh, just my dog who went missing. 408 00:15:34,945 --> 00:15:36,026 And I know, as a dentist, 409 00:15:36,116 --> 00:15:38,586 I'm not supposed to name my pet after a sugary treat, 410 00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:42,594 but... aww, he's white with these adorable brown spots, 411 00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:45,416 and he's so sweet-- just like toffee. 412 00:15:45,526 --> 00:15:46,722 Wow. 413 00:15:46,998 --> 00:15:50,699 So, um, roughly how long ago did you lose him? 414 00:15:50,806 --> 00:15:53,640 Huh, let's see. About two months ago. 415 00:15:53,770 --> 00:15:54,988 You'd think if somebody found him, 416 00:15:55,082 --> 00:15:57,747 they'd do the humane thing and put up fliers, right? 417 00:15:58,209 --> 00:16:00,635 Well, you know, tape doesn't hold very well in this weather. 418 00:16:03,144 --> 00:16:05,073 There you go, West. See? 419 00:16:05,170 --> 00:16:07,106 Good things happen when you shoot the ball. 420 00:16:07,823 --> 00:16:09,846 Who's got the best power forward in the league? 421 00:16:10,111 --> 00:16:13,862 We do. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. 422 00:16:22,967 --> 00:16:24,441 - [ Door opens ] - [ Crowd cheers ] 423 00:16:24,656 --> 00:16:27,644 - [ Whimpers ] - [ Sighs ] 424 00:16:27,765 --> 00:16:29,390 [ Barks ] 425 00:16:30,154 --> 00:16:32,300 I'm trying to watch the game. You want to get your dog? 426 00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:35,460 [ Sighs ] Colin Firth. 427 00:16:35,856 --> 00:16:37,281 Colin Firth? 428 00:16:38,482 --> 00:16:39,901 Toffee? 429 00:16:42,588 --> 00:16:44,724 Oh, crap. 430 00:16:45,106 --> 00:16:47,098 Yeah, so, I have some bad news. 431 00:16:47,185 --> 00:16:49,436 Well, good news for you, I guess. 432 00:16:49,650 --> 00:16:51,161 This isn't our dog. 433 00:16:51,806 --> 00:16:52,833 What are you talking about? 434 00:16:52,914 --> 00:16:55,989 [ Sighs ] It's Dr. Goodwin's. 435 00:16:56,147 --> 00:16:58,200 His dog ran away two months ago, 436 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,261 and Colin Firth is the exact description of him. 437 00:17:01,419 --> 00:17:03,617 So, we have to take him back to Dr. Goodwin's 438 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,240 'cause he belongs to him. 439 00:17:06,774 --> 00:17:08,365 You believe that baloney? 440 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:12,276 Oh. Well... good. 441 00:17:13,492 --> 00:17:14,937 Looks like it all worked out, then. 442 00:17:17,729 --> 00:17:18,856 Okay, Colin Firth. 443 00:17:18,936 --> 00:17:21,712 I got your chewy bone and your chewy monster 444 00:17:21,810 --> 00:17:24,315 and your chewy Mike's shoe. 445 00:17:24,932 --> 00:17:26,398 Where's your leash? 446 00:17:27,856 --> 00:17:29,166 Take care of yourself. 447 00:17:29,648 --> 00:17:33,025 All right, well, we are off. 448 00:17:34,214 --> 00:17:36,440 I guess it's all for the best, huh? 449 00:17:36,731 --> 00:17:38,569 You two never really hit it off, anyway. 450 00:17:38,669 --> 00:17:40,109 Come on. 451 00:17:41,791 --> 00:17:42,859 [ Door opens ] 452 00:17:44,402 --> 00:17:46,341 [ Door closes ] 453 00:17:51,865 --> 00:17:52,676 Ugh. 454 00:17:54,277 --> 00:17:56,626 [ Voice breaking ] Okay, I know you still hate me. 455 00:17:56,734 --> 00:17:59,143 [ Sniffles ] And I know you think I'm not your sister anymore. 456 00:17:59,394 --> 00:18:01,186 But you didn't respond to my note, 457 00:18:01,279 --> 00:18:02,610 so I don't know what else to do 458 00:18:02,694 --> 00:18:04,944 because now you're going back up to school. 459 00:18:05,064 --> 00:18:06,812 And I was thinking-- 460 00:18:07,028 --> 00:18:09,828 because I destroyed something so important to you, 461 00:18:10,032 --> 00:18:11,819 the only way to make it up to you 462 00:18:11,895 --> 00:18:15,066 is if I destroy something just as important to me. 463 00:18:15,608 --> 00:18:18,356 So, forgive me, Woofy Dog. 464 00:18:18,821 --> 00:18:20,755 [ Sobbing ] 465 00:18:24,107 --> 00:18:26,427 Everything just got so out of hand. 466 00:18:26,841 --> 00:18:28,896 I am not proud of it. 467 00:18:29,104 --> 00:18:30,536 [ Grunts, sobs ] 468 00:18:30,617 --> 00:18:32,488 I have never known my life without you, 469 00:18:32,581 --> 00:18:35,948 and I don't even want to think about what that would be like, 470 00:18:36,037 --> 00:18:37,951 and these last few days when you said 471 00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:39,850 I wasn't your sister anymore, 472 00:18:40,134 --> 00:18:43,242 I honestly thought I was going to die! 473 00:18:43,352 --> 00:18:44,668 - [ Groans ] - Okay! Fine! 474 00:18:44,753 --> 00:18:45,845 Stop! God! 475 00:18:46,314 --> 00:18:47,728 You're my sister again. 476 00:18:48,929 --> 00:18:50,495 Are you sure? 477 00:18:50,919 --> 00:18:53,648 Because there's some people who use the word "Sister," 478 00:18:53,743 --> 00:18:55,043 but it doesn't really mean anything, 479 00:18:55,206 --> 00:18:56,487 and they just go off to college 480 00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:57,802 and they never see each other again 481 00:18:57,874 --> 00:18:59,200 and they only call when it's time to put 482 00:18:59,282 --> 00:19:01,416 their parents in a home or exchange Christmas cards, 483 00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:02,900 and that's it. 484 00:19:03,005 --> 00:19:04,853 But that's not the kind of sister I want to be. 485 00:19:04,976 --> 00:19:07,570 I want to be the kind of sister you call all the time 486 00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:10,141 and we laugh about how crazy mom's being. 487 00:19:10,225 --> 00:19:11,187 Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! 488 00:19:11,293 --> 00:19:12,595 And your kids look a little like me 489 00:19:12,690 --> 00:19:14,006 and my kids look a little like you 490 00:19:14,103 --> 00:19:16,228 and we all go to King's Island every year together 491 00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,242 and wear matching t-shirts. 492 00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:22,373 I'll agree to everything, except the t-shirts. 493 00:19:23,047 --> 00:19:25,660 No matching shirts. You got it. 494 00:19:26,105 --> 00:19:26,981 [ Chuckles ] 495 00:19:27,908 --> 00:19:28,524 [ Clears throat ] 496 00:19:28,599 --> 00:19:31,265 Here, let's, uh... try to fix this thing. 497 00:19:31,362 --> 00:19:33,710 I think I still might have some glue left over 498 00:19:33,803 --> 00:19:35,585 from your toothbrush. [ Chuckles ] 499 00:19:35,695 --> 00:19:37,060 [ Sobs ] 500 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:40,546 [ Chuckling ] Okay. 501 00:19:40,699 --> 00:19:42,602 - [ Coughs ] Mm-hmm. - [ Mumbling ] 502 00:19:43,674 --> 00:19:45,157 Okay. [ Chuckles ] 503 00:19:46,303 --> 00:19:47,580 Hey, Dr. Goodwin. 504 00:19:47,673 --> 00:19:49,999 I found something I think you might like. 505 00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:53,157 Oh, my stars! 506 00:19:53,239 --> 00:19:56,326 Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! 507 00:19:56,422 --> 00:19:57,676 Oh, my goodness! 508 00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:01,137 I heard about this family who found a lost dog, 509 00:20:01,298 --> 00:20:03,285 and they treated him very well 510 00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:05,398 and he loved them so much. 511 00:20:05,641 --> 00:20:06,955 They called him Colin Firth 512 00:20:07,070 --> 00:20:09,090 after the handsome and emotionally vulnerable 513 00:20:09,193 --> 00:20:11,149 British actor. [ Chuckles ] 514 00:20:11,287 --> 00:20:13,908 So, this should make you feel good, huh? 515 00:20:14,072 --> 00:20:16,262 [ Chuckling ] Oh, are you kidding? 516 00:20:16,375 --> 00:20:20,239 He's amazing. Yes, you are. Just amazing. 517 00:20:20,433 --> 00:20:22,692 [ Voice breaking ] He really is. 518 00:20:22,791 --> 00:20:25,082 [ Chuckles ] And he looks so much like Toffee. 519 00:20:26,162 --> 00:20:27,502 Excuse me? 520 00:20:27,611 --> 00:20:29,712 Oh, well, Toffee only had three legs. 521 00:20:29,825 --> 00:20:31,541 But other than that, they're twins. 522 00:20:31,699 --> 00:20:33,058 Wait, what? 523 00:20:33,223 --> 00:20:35,510 Are you kidding me? This isn't Toffee? 524 00:20:35,599 --> 00:20:36,569 Oh, no, ma'am. 525 00:20:36,701 --> 00:20:38,979 But I can already tell this little guy's gonna fill 526 00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:41,805 the giant gaping hole in my heart. 527 00:20:41,901 --> 00:20:44,743 [ Chuckles ] Well, you know, having a dog with four legs 528 00:20:44,845 --> 00:20:46,576 could be quite an adjustment. 529 00:20:46,706 --> 00:20:48,511 I'd certainly be willing to help out. 530 00:20:48,609 --> 00:20:51,016 Hey, you know, there's a great dog park nearby. 531 00:20:51,115 --> 00:20:53,607 We could all go after work. It could be fun. 532 00:20:53,758 --> 00:20:55,753 [ Chuckling ] No, thanks. 533 00:20:57,095 --> 00:20:59,197 Some things are hard to let go of. 534 00:21:00,590 --> 00:21:02,408 Some things are easy. 535 00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:04,202 Sorry, Margie. Just not my cup of tea. 536 00:21:04,307 --> 00:21:06,351 I don't think I'm the target audience. 537 00:21:06,485 --> 00:21:07,418 Really looking forward to 538 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,589 "Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood," though. 539 00:21:09,696 --> 00:21:11,624 [Whispers] Ya-Ya. 540 00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:14,552 And some things, you never should. 541 00:21:14,647 --> 00:21:16,346 So, I'll, uh, text you some dates 542 00:21:16,447 --> 00:21:17,800 when you could maybe come to visit, 543 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:19,852 you know, like, uh, when no one else is around. 544 00:21:19,932 --> 00:21:20,547 [ Chuckles ] 545 00:21:20,632 --> 00:21:24,155 Oh! I have a brother again! 546 00:21:24,593 --> 00:21:25,380 [ Chuckles ] 547 00:21:26,355 --> 00:21:27,668 I really don't know why you love me so much. 548 00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:29,218 I've done nothing to deserve it. 549 00:21:29,433 --> 00:21:31,379 [ Grunts ] Yeah, okay. 550 00:21:31,890 --> 00:21:33,072 You can let go now. 551 00:21:34,509 --> 00:21:39,973 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 552 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:43,103 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 553 00:21:43,153 --> 00:21:47,703 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40098

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