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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,168 --> 00:00:03,119 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:04,998 --> 00:00:06,218 Fall in the Midwest 3 00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:08,765 means one thing and one thing only-- football. 4 00:00:08,911 --> 00:00:11,346 And with Axl playing college ball for the first time, 5 00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:12,855 the pressure was on. 6 00:00:13,482 --> 00:00:14,515 All right. 7 00:00:14,674 --> 00:00:16,302 We got to get this thing in the end zone. 8 00:00:16,536 --> 00:00:18,292 You go right. I'm gonna go left. 9 00:00:18,376 --> 00:00:20,619 - Got it! - Ready?! Break! 10 00:00:20,744 --> 00:00:22,714 Let's go, freshmen! 11 00:00:22,794 --> 00:00:25,636 The thing is, Axl had gone from a big man on a small campus 12 00:00:25,731 --> 00:00:28,341 to a small man on a bigger campus. 13 00:00:28,421 --> 00:00:29,418 Here you go, freshman! 14 00:00:33,154 --> 00:00:34,694 So, Hutch, where are you from? 15 00:00:34,745 --> 00:00:36,187 Chicago. How about yourself? 16 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,908 Uh, a few towns thataway. 17 00:00:38,891 --> 00:00:40,290 I couldn't stay forever, though. 18 00:00:40,434 --> 00:00:43,546 Had to break out, test my stuff in the real world. 19 00:00:43,646 --> 00:00:44,977 - Ah, I feel you. - Yeah. 20 00:00:45,075 --> 00:00:47,174 I already killed it back home, so I had to move on. 21 00:00:47,317 --> 00:00:48,354 - Mm. - I was so awesome, 22 00:00:48,468 --> 00:00:50,863 it was like I walked around my high school in slow motion. 23 00:00:50,944 --> 00:00:51,668 Hmm. 24 00:00:51,763 --> 00:00:52,811 Prom king! 25 00:00:52,943 --> 00:00:54,137 - Oh. - Yeah. 26 00:00:54,247 --> 00:00:55,606 Oh, I can see that. 27 00:00:55,733 --> 00:00:57,033 - You're a good-looking guy. - Mm. 28 00:00:57,127 --> 00:00:58,897 I'd hit that if I was into hitting that kind of thing. 29 00:00:59,025 --> 00:01:00,058 Thanks, man. 30 00:01:00,156 --> 00:01:02,726 So, you liking college? 31 00:01:02,858 --> 00:01:04,430 Hells yeah. What's not to like? 32 00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:06,077 Yeah. Same here, man. 33 00:01:06,581 --> 00:01:08,415 Time of my life. 34 00:01:12,819 --> 00:01:14,978 Hey. Don't eat that. It's for the trick-or-treaters. 35 00:01:15,192 --> 00:01:16,360 Licorice menorahs? 36 00:01:16,458 --> 00:01:17,804 Yeah, well, when I buy the good stuff, 37 00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:19,334 we eat it all before Halloween. 38 00:01:19,437 --> 00:01:21,354 So this way, none of us will be tempted. 39 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,811 Yeah. 40 00:01:22,911 --> 00:01:24,102 Gross, right? 41 00:01:25,775 --> 00:01:26,912 So, where's Brick? 42 00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,837 I got sick of him not emptying the dishwasher, 43 00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:30,005 so I finally punished him. 44 00:01:30,092 --> 00:01:31,337 I made him go to a party. 45 00:01:31,553 --> 00:01:33,695 Wow. Pretty rough for just the dishwasher. 46 00:01:33,772 --> 00:01:34,858 Well, he pushed me too far. 47 00:01:34,958 --> 00:01:35,963 I told him if he doesn't shape up, 48 00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:37,729 he's getting a playdate. 49 00:01:37,941 --> 00:01:39,224 Well, that was horrible. 50 00:01:39,321 --> 00:01:40,745 Maybe next time, you listen to your mom. 51 00:01:40,923 --> 00:01:42,717 No, it was a new kind of horrible. 52 00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:44,355 I mean, at the few elementary-school parties 53 00:01:44,444 --> 00:01:45,340 I was invited to, 54 00:01:45,497 --> 00:01:47,111 boys would run around and be stupid, 55 00:01:47,283 --> 00:01:48,556 but now there's boys and girls, 56 00:01:48,681 --> 00:01:50,363 and everyone just hangs out in the basement. 57 00:01:50,469 --> 00:01:51,794 Every time I turned up the lights to read, 58 00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,773 someone would just dim them down again. 59 00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:55,180 Next time I go to a party, 60 00:01:55,274 --> 00:01:57,003 I'm bringing my itty-bitty book light. 61 00:01:57,377 --> 00:01:59,001 Ah-- well, you know, Brick, 62 00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:00,585 you're at that age where boys and girls 63 00:02:00,706 --> 00:02:02,287 are starting to notice each other. 64 00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:03,957 You just might not be there yet. 65 00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:05,924 Oh, I'm there. I'm definitely there. 66 00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:07,270 - You are? - Big time. 67 00:02:07,405 --> 00:02:09,149 There's this one girl I really like-- Harper. 68 00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:11,700 Really? Oh, wow, Brick! 69 00:02:11,802 --> 00:02:13,370 So, what is it that you like about her? 70 00:02:13,469 --> 00:02:14,586 Is she into books, like you? 71 00:02:14,737 --> 00:02:16,876 No, over the summer, she got her boobs. 72 00:02:18,369 --> 00:02:19,582 Oh. 73 00:02:20,004 --> 00:02:23,045 So, uh, was she at the party? Did you try to talk to her? 74 00:02:23,222 --> 00:02:24,461 Not exactly, 75 00:02:24,604 --> 00:02:26,192 but I kind of stared at her for an hour 76 00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:29,165 until she got creeped out, so I'm definitely on her radar. 77 00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:30,610 Brick, you can't just 78 00:02:30,766 --> 00:02:32,469 stare at someone when you like 'em. 79 00:02:32,577 --> 00:02:34,999 You kind of have to, you know... 80 00:02:36,651 --> 00:02:38,897 Jump in anytime, dad. 81 00:02:39,528 --> 00:02:41,541 Well, when I was your age and I liked a girl, 82 00:02:41,655 --> 00:02:43,943 I would ride my bike by her house. 83 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,810 Yeah, I don't know if people do that anymore. 84 00:02:45,984 --> 00:02:46,863 From what I've gleaned, 85 00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,911 they do more communicating through social media-- 86 00:02:48,993 --> 00:02:50,982 you know, texts, tweets, and whatnot. 87 00:02:51,141 --> 00:02:53,253 They also don't use words like "Gleaned." 88 00:02:53,366 --> 00:02:55,010 That's perfect for you, Brick-- 89 00:02:55,095 --> 00:02:56,960 no eye contact, all words. 90 00:02:57,118 --> 00:02:59,907 Yeah. I guess that might be more apropos. 91 00:03:00,088 --> 00:03:01,774 But don't say "Apropos"! 92 00:03:02,838 --> 00:03:03,863 We really should redo the basement 93 00:03:03,968 --> 00:03:06,080 - so he'll have someplace to live. - Mm. 94 00:03:06,443 --> 00:03:08,812 Throw him down! Get that pin! 95 00:03:08,918 --> 00:03:10,295 The fighting hens will... 96 00:03:10,394 --> 00:03:11,766 - ...cleanse your sin! - ...peel your skin! 97 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,173 ...kick him in the mouth! 98 00:03:13,453 --> 00:03:14,488 You know what? 99 00:03:14,590 --> 00:03:17,747 Wrestlerettes isn't just about well-thought-out cheers 100 00:03:17,854 --> 00:03:22,034 that people spent a lot of time coming up with. 101 00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:23,869 It's about chemistry. 102 00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,856 There is only one way to fix this. 103 00:03:26,933 --> 00:03:28,873 - Hemlock? - Quit because we suck? - Prayer circle? 104 00:03:28,998 --> 00:03:32,941 No. Team bonding sleepover. 105 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:34,334 Mandatory! 106 00:03:37,765 --> 00:03:39,946 Axl, why did you take all my stuff out? 107 00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:41,228 God, you are so selfish. 108 00:03:41,392 --> 00:03:44,220 You have all week to relax and do all the laundry you want. 109 00:03:46,171 --> 00:03:48,023 How many uniforms do you own? 110 00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:50,410 They're hazing him, Frankie. Making him do their laundry. 111 00:03:50,499 --> 00:03:52,081 Brings the team closer together. 112 00:03:52,511 --> 00:03:54,375 Okay. I don't get men at all. 113 00:03:54,524 --> 00:03:56,079 Yeah, I'm with you. This is really-- 114 00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:57,134 Oh. 115 00:03:57,576 --> 00:03:58,364 Ohh. 116 00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:00,826 - What are you doing? - Every time I get a text from a senior, 117 00:04:00,932 --> 00:04:02,197 I got to hop on one foot. 118 00:04:02,334 --> 00:04:05,326 - But they're not even here. - Oh, they'll know. 119 00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:09,936 Hey, Brick. 120 00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,189 Hey, you never told me what happened 121 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,291 with that Harper girl, hmm? 122 00:04:13,390 --> 00:04:14,440 Did you ever e-mail her? 123 00:04:14,564 --> 00:04:16,151 - Uh-huh. - You did?! 124 00:04:16,264 --> 00:04:17,381 Did she write you back? 125 00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:18,915 Yep. About five days ago. 126 00:04:19,004 --> 00:04:20,110 Are you serious? 127 00:04:20,202 --> 00:04:21,434 So, what did she say? What did you say? 128 00:04:21,574 --> 00:04:23,262 Nothing. I haven't answered back. 129 00:04:23,624 --> 00:04:26,548 Brick, you can't leave her hanging for five days. 130 00:04:26,646 --> 00:04:27,626 Mike, tell him. 131 00:04:28,008 --> 00:04:29,143 I gave him the bike idea. 132 00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:30,405 That's my best stuff. 133 00:04:30,488 --> 00:04:31,527 Hey, she's online. 134 00:04:31,599 --> 00:04:33,413 Good. This is good. You got to message her. 135 00:04:33,511 --> 00:04:35,543 Tell her you're sorry. You forgot to get back to her. 136 00:04:35,657 --> 00:04:36,615 Okay. 137 00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:41,229 "Sorry I didn't get back to you. 138 00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:42,317 I forgot." 139 00:04:42,437 --> 00:04:43,530 Wait. Don't say you forgot. 140 00:04:43,615 --> 00:04:45,976 It sounds like you don't care. Make up a good excuse. 141 00:04:48,092 --> 00:04:49,758 "Sorry I didn't get back to you. 142 00:04:50,047 --> 00:04:52,470 I had diarrhea." 143 00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:53,548 Send? 144 00:04:53,657 --> 00:04:54,671 Wait. Did you just hit "Send"?! 145 00:04:54,858 --> 00:04:56,084 Mike, he just hit "Send." 146 00:04:56,187 --> 00:04:57,242 Smooth, Brick. 147 00:04:57,322 --> 00:04:58,317 Might as well pull the plug. 148 00:04:58,396 --> 00:04:59,516 There's no coming back from that. 149 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,132 What? No, we're okay. 150 00:05:01,206 --> 00:05:02,970 Come on, this is totally fixable. 151 00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:04,730 You just got to make sure she knows it was a joke. 152 00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:06,880 Why are we hopping? How much hopping did I miss? 153 00:05:06,995 --> 00:05:09,549 Brick's talking to a girl, and mom's losing her mind. 154 00:05:09,755 --> 00:05:11,565 Oh. 155 00:05:11,642 --> 00:05:13,589 Got it. Hit her with a "jk" and a smiley face. 156 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,043 Go. Typety, type, type! 157 00:05:17,214 --> 00:05:18,641 She said, "Ha." 158 00:05:18,741 --> 00:05:19,920 - Yes! - Good job, mom. - Yay! 159 00:05:20,006 --> 00:05:21,904 All right. Now you got her on the hook. 160 00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,178 Now you just got to reel her in. 161 00:05:23,274 --> 00:05:24,732 Tell her you enjoyed seeing her at school today. 162 00:05:24,811 --> 00:05:25,860 Ask if you can take her to lunch. 163 00:05:25,935 --> 00:05:27,769 Oh, my God. Brick, don't listen to anything these people say. 164 00:05:27,853 --> 00:05:29,094 I mean, look who they ended up with. 165 00:05:29,953 --> 00:05:31,511 She asked what I'm doing right now. 166 00:05:31,588 --> 00:05:32,924 Oh, boy. Okay, come on, guys. 167 00:05:32,993 --> 00:05:34,658 - What's he doing? What's he doing? - I got this. 168 00:05:34,773 --> 00:05:36,938 You absolutely do not got this. Wait. 169 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:37,975 Quick, open a side window 170 00:05:38,097 --> 00:05:39,553 and pull up kickinitteenstyle.com. 171 00:05:39,650 --> 00:05:41,536 - Their teen text tutor is very good. - Oh, my God! 172 00:05:41,664 --> 00:05:42,705 Tell her you're putting your baseball cards 173 00:05:42,784 --> 00:05:44,067 in your bike spokes. 174 00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:46,536 - No, no, you're playing charades with your family. - Hello! 175 00:05:46,702 --> 00:05:48,123 Who in this room has actually kissed anyone 176 00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:50,191 in the past 10 years besides a gross mom? 177 00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:51,456 Brick, the correct response 178 00:05:51,549 --> 00:05:53,687 to "What are you doing?" is "Nothin'." 179 00:05:53,817 --> 00:05:56,053 All lowercase, and don't you dare put a "G" on the end. 180 00:05:58,612 --> 00:06:00,363 She said, "Cool." 181 00:06:00,491 --> 00:06:02,153 - Boom! It's on! - Mmm. - Whoo! 182 00:06:02,254 --> 00:06:04,372 - Okay, okay. - Okay, what's next? Got to keep it rolling. 183 00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:06,440 I'm gonna ask her if she's read "Planet Nowhere." 184 00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:07,326 No! 185 00:06:07,419 --> 00:06:08,653 How about her feelings on fonts? 186 00:06:08,742 --> 00:06:09,659 No! 187 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,529 Don't I want her to know the real me?! 188 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,105 - No! - No! - No! - Oh, God, no! 189 00:06:14,713 --> 00:06:16,262 She said, "Are you still there?" 190 00:06:16,356 --> 00:06:18,401 We're losing her! Come on, ticktock, people. 191 00:06:18,484 --> 00:06:19,665 The clock's running out. 192 00:06:19,818 --> 00:06:21,849 Can I ask her to go to the Halloween dance with me? 193 00:06:23,436 --> 00:06:25,808 Huh. What do you guys think? 194 00:06:25,896 --> 00:06:27,417 I like it. It's a gutsy move. 195 00:06:27,478 --> 00:06:29,671 It's a little risky. What if he scares her off? 196 00:06:29,743 --> 00:06:31,306 He already told her he has diarrhea. 197 00:06:31,389 --> 00:06:32,623 He has nothing to lose. 198 00:06:32,972 --> 00:06:34,834 So, we're all in agreement? 199 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,813 We're doing this? We're going for it. 200 00:06:37,061 --> 00:06:39,249 We are going for it, people! 201 00:06:39,339 --> 00:06:40,582 - Whoo! - Whoo! 202 00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:45,943 "Will you go to the dance with me?" 203 00:06:46,089 --> 00:06:47,408 Sending? I'm sending! 204 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,074 Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org 205 00:06:57,648 --> 00:06:58,785 She said, "Yes"! 206 00:07:00,029 --> 00:07:01,734 Yeah! All right! 207 00:07:01,818 --> 00:07:03,225 - All right! - Whoo! 208 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,067 Okay, well, I think we can all agree 209 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,588 that trust falls were a failed experiment. 210 00:07:13,695 --> 00:07:16,131 So, what do you guys want to do? 211 00:07:16,856 --> 00:07:17,962 We could have a s?ance. 212 00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,998 Ooh! Very Halloween-y. 213 00:07:21,122 --> 00:07:22,197 I like it! 214 00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:23,660 Becky, get the lights. 215 00:07:24,734 --> 00:07:27,180 So... what do we do? 216 00:07:27,292 --> 00:07:28,441 Uh, let's hold hands. 217 00:07:29,353 --> 00:07:31,780 Okay, first, we need to call the spirit of a dead person. 218 00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:34,124 It's your house, so you should probably make the call. 219 00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:36,749 Okay. Uh... 220 00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:38,979 Oh, spirits. 221 00:07:39,145 --> 00:07:40,415 I know this is your busy season 222 00:07:40,542 --> 00:07:42,048 with Halloween coming up and all, 223 00:07:42,178 --> 00:07:43,360 but if it's cool with you, 224 00:07:43,553 --> 00:07:46,629 we would like to contact the spirit of... 225 00:07:46,951 --> 00:07:49,124 Christopher Columbus! 226 00:07:49,244 --> 00:07:50,803 Christopher Columbus? 227 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,470 He discovered America, you guys, 228 00:07:52,656 --> 00:07:54,949 and I just love America so much! 229 00:07:55,947 --> 00:07:59,092 Oh, spirits, if Christopher Columbus 230 00:07:59,225 --> 00:08:01,464 is in the room with us right now, 231 00:08:01,664 --> 00:08:05,103 please give us a sign-- any sign. 232 00:08:05,192 --> 00:08:06,704 Hear our call. 233 00:08:06,794 --> 00:08:09,887 Show us your spirit is here. 234 00:08:23,046 --> 00:08:24,475 'Sup? 235 00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:27,666 What's going on? 236 00:08:27,849 --> 00:08:30,012 I used to be able to land a girl just with a "'Sup?" 237 00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:31,001 I once scored a barista 238 00:08:31,106 --> 00:08:32,834 with a wink and a "What's kickin'?" 239 00:08:36,378 --> 00:08:38,415 You know what I miss? I miss being cool. 240 00:08:38,512 --> 00:08:39,860 Yeah. Me, too. 241 00:08:42,166 --> 00:08:44,300 Hey, baby. How's it going? 242 00:08:44,456 --> 00:08:45,637 You know what we got to do? 243 00:08:45,939 --> 00:08:46,701 What, go back to high school 244 00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:47,999 and pretend we're still seniors? 245 00:08:48,118 --> 00:08:48,964 No. 246 00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,905 We got to throw a party and let the hotties come to us. 247 00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:54,264 Yes, that's a genius plan, my friend-- genius plan. 248 00:08:54,392 --> 00:08:58,161 Hey, ladies-- Halloween party, Willard 305! 249 00:08:58,518 --> 00:09:00,026 Tell your friends! 250 00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:03,295 So then, we're holding hands for the s?ance, and I say, 251 00:09:03,448 --> 00:09:06,851 "If Christopher Columbus is in the room right now"-- 252 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,308 Hang on. Christopher Columbus? 253 00:09:09,975 --> 00:09:12,126 I'm 16, mom. I don't know a lot of dead people. 254 00:09:12,314 --> 00:09:14,687 Anyway, we asked his spirit for a sign. 255 00:09:14,792 --> 00:09:18,548 And all of a sudden, I see the Santa Maria 256 00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:20,830 sail across our wood paneling. 257 00:09:21,075 --> 00:09:23,060 Check the liquor cabinet. 258 00:09:23,469 --> 00:09:26,243 Dad, this really happened. I'm serious. 259 00:09:26,512 --> 00:09:29,107 I was sitting right there, and I looked over at the wall, 260 00:09:29,228 --> 00:09:31,490 and there it was-- the Santa Maria. 261 00:09:31,861 --> 00:09:34,523 You sure it wasn't the Ni?a or the Pinta 262 00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:36,126 or the Never Happened-a? 263 00:09:36,226 --> 00:09:39,622 Anyway, it was sort of light and glowing and it sailed 264 00:09:39,736 --> 00:09:41,413 from the commemorative royal baby goblet 265 00:09:41,522 --> 00:09:43,987 all the way to dad's cornhole trophy. 266 00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:45,720 Who'd have thought? 267 00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,082 My very first s?ance, 268 00:09:47,158 --> 00:09:49,869 and I see an actual sign from the beyond. 269 00:09:51,282 --> 00:09:52,874 I must be really good at it. 270 00:09:53,031 --> 00:09:54,908 - Mm. - Mm. 271 00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:56,926 We might want to clear out 272 00:09:57,057 --> 00:09:58,625 the other half of the basement for her. 273 00:10:00,921 --> 00:10:03,066 So, Axl and Hutch threw their first college party, 274 00:10:03,173 --> 00:10:05,759 and sure enough, it was a huge success... 275 00:10:06,146 --> 00:10:08,066 right after they left to make a snack run. 276 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,098 Oh, check it out. Told you it would work. 277 00:10:10,626 --> 00:10:12,011 Pardon us-- our party. 278 00:10:12,093 --> 00:10:12,946 - Excuse us. - You're welcome. 279 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,162 Party hosts coming through. 280 00:10:14,373 --> 00:10:15,071 Oh! 281 00:10:16,562 --> 00:10:18,385 - Whoo! - Hey, hey, you can't go in there. 282 00:10:18,503 --> 00:10:19,697 Oh, no, no, no, it's my party. 283 00:10:19,801 --> 00:10:21,279 I don't think so. This is a football party. 284 00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,853 I know. We're football players. Remember us? 285 00:10:23,937 --> 00:10:25,640 Yesterday, you made us drink out of a mop bucket. 286 00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:27,065 Yeah, we just went out to get some chips. 287 00:10:27,173 --> 00:10:28,618 Hey, hey, hey! We got chips! 288 00:10:30,606 --> 00:10:31,562 Yeah! 289 00:10:32,236 --> 00:10:32,990 Oh, oh, come-- 290 00:10:33,308 --> 00:10:35,586 You're seriously gonna keep me out of my own party?! 291 00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:37,490 Oh, man! 292 00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,673 There's a hot chick sitting right on my bed! 293 00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:41,460 Oh, and we got a slutty nurse! 294 00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:43,994 - What? - And a slutty Alice In Wonderland! 295 00:10:44,157 --> 00:10:47,178 I don't even know what that is, but it's definitely slutty. 296 00:10:54,556 --> 00:10:56,090 Hey. I'm off to the dance. 297 00:10:56,965 --> 00:10:58,379 What are you supposed to be? 298 00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:00,001 Well, I'm a bookmark. 299 00:11:00,199 --> 00:11:01,501 Brick! 300 00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:03,088 I thought we agreed 301 00:11:03,179 --> 00:11:04,982 you were going to be a gangster, remember? 302 00:11:05,101 --> 00:11:06,692 We talked about how cool you'd look in a fedora 303 00:11:06,781 --> 00:11:08,611 and how much Harper would like it. 304 00:11:08,748 --> 00:11:09,899 Yeah, but then I decided 305 00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:12,259 what sixth grader doesn't love a bookmark? 306 00:11:12,406 --> 00:11:13,786 So, any last-minute advice 307 00:11:13,896 --> 00:11:15,812 before I head off to my first dance? 308 00:11:15,904 --> 00:11:16,744 Whoop! 309 00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:19,281 Just... just... 310 00:11:19,397 --> 00:11:20,934 Good luck. 311 00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:28,156 Trick or treat! 312 00:11:28,248 --> 00:11:29,395 Oh, come on. You guys seriously 313 00:11:29,506 --> 00:11:31,854 ate all the licorice menorahs? 314 00:11:32,074 --> 00:11:34,931 The whole point of buying this crap candy 315 00:11:35,016 --> 00:11:36,305 is so that we wouldn't eat it! 316 00:11:36,408 --> 00:11:37,974 We are the worst family ever! 317 00:11:38,049 --> 00:11:39,214 Trick or treat! 318 00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:40,754 Quick, hit the lights. We got to hide. 319 00:11:42,522 --> 00:11:44,082 Mom, mom, I have to tell you what happened today. 320 00:11:44,325 --> 00:11:45,333 Tell me in the laundry room! 321 00:11:45,453 --> 00:11:46,743 We're hiding from the trick-or-treaters. 322 00:11:47,505 --> 00:11:49,482 Come on, open the door! 323 00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,883 So, at school today, 324 00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:52,963 I was telling everyone in class about how I saw 325 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,292 the ghost of the Santa Maria appear on our paneling. 326 00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:56,195 Whoa. 327 00:11:56,262 --> 00:11:57,494 You told people about this? 328 00:11:57,699 --> 00:11:58,486 Yeah. 329 00:11:58,579 --> 00:12:00,138 So, then my biology teacher said-- 330 00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:02,809 - You told your teacher, too? - Of course. 331 00:12:02,949 --> 00:12:04,717 I wanted to get his scientific opinion 332 00:12:04,832 --> 00:12:07,090 on this supernatural phenomena. 333 00:12:07,249 --> 00:12:08,699 Anyway, I am getting 334 00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,260 so many different reactions to this story. 335 00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:13,683 You know what? 336 00:12:13,824 --> 00:12:16,309 This would make a great article for the student paper. 337 00:12:16,430 --> 00:12:17,736 I'm gonna go jot down some notes. 338 00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:19,714 - Trick or treat! - Belly crawl! 339 00:12:19,829 --> 00:12:21,049 I see you! 340 00:12:21,222 --> 00:12:23,094 Trick or treat! 341 00:12:23,726 --> 00:12:24,959 Open up! 342 00:12:25,947 --> 00:12:27,789 Okay, you got to stop her. 343 00:12:27,966 --> 00:12:28,829 From what? 344 00:12:28,926 --> 00:12:30,664 From sounding like an idiot, Frankie. 345 00:12:30,753 --> 00:12:33,149 She's telling people she saw Christopher Columbus on our wall. 346 00:12:33,247 --> 00:12:34,489 So what? She's excited. 347 00:12:34,572 --> 00:12:36,186 - Who cares? - I care. 348 00:12:36,366 --> 00:12:39,234 It'd be fine if she was 5, but she's 16 now. 349 00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:41,411 She's got to grow up, or people are gonna think she's nuts. 350 00:12:41,568 --> 00:12:43,939 Okay, yes, she's a little innocent 351 00:12:44,037 --> 00:12:45,478 compared to other girls her age, 352 00:12:45,561 --> 00:12:47,463 but you should be happy about that. 353 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,036 She's sweet and trusting and open to everything. 354 00:12:51,135 --> 00:12:52,751 That's what makes her Sue. 355 00:12:52,853 --> 00:12:55,390 Look, I don't want to change her. I just want to protect her. 356 00:12:55,485 --> 00:12:56,893 I'm her dad. That's my job. 357 00:12:57,096 --> 00:12:59,681 She can be herself all she wants at home. 358 00:12:59,765 --> 00:13:02,826 But in public, she's just got to dial down the Sue 359 00:13:02,921 --> 00:13:04,201 a little bit, you know? 360 00:13:04,306 --> 00:13:07,237 That's all-- just so people don't laugh at her. 361 00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,013 Fine, we'll talk to her. 362 00:13:10,094 --> 00:13:11,605 I just want to be sensitive. 363 00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:15,491 Move on, you little beggars! Can't you see we're not home?! 364 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:20,218 We'll have the last dance, I will be your best friend 365 00:13:20,296 --> 00:13:21,665 Do you want to watch a movie or something? 366 00:13:21,877 --> 00:13:23,522 My roommate's got a copy of the "Tooth Fairy" 367 00:13:23,632 --> 00:13:24,529 starring the rock. 368 00:13:24,613 --> 00:13:26,267 It's funny, 'cause he's big and he's a tooth fairy. 369 00:13:26,344 --> 00:13:30,057 No! I want to go to my party in my room right now! 370 00:13:31,195 --> 00:13:32,912 I mean, eventually, I do want to watch that movie, 371 00:13:33,005 --> 00:13:34,286 'cause it sounds like a great premise, 372 00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:37,897 but first... we do this. 373 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,360 Whoa-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh 374 00:13:40,493 --> 00:13:41,573 come on, come on 375 00:13:41,675 --> 00:13:44,500 let's pretend it's the last one 376 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:45,598 Follow my lead. 377 00:13:45,705 --> 00:13:47,499 Then we're looking toward the sky 378 00:13:47,574 --> 00:13:48,544 Stage dive! 379 00:13:48,652 --> 00:13:49,902 we're standing side by side 380 00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:52,257 this feeling's coming over me 381 00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:55,373 but I, I start to recognize 382 00:13:55,464 --> 00:13:57,256 the only thing I need 383 00:13:57,367 --> 00:14:00,175 is you standing close to me, yeah 384 00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:01,537 Hi. I'm Axl. 385 00:14:01,744 --> 00:14:03,976 Sometimes we want the answers 386 00:14:04,084 --> 00:14:05,030 Hey. 387 00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:07,375 Sometimes we wonder why 388 00:14:07,504 --> 00:14:09,307 He's here. 389 00:14:10,533 --> 00:14:13,100 Wow, you do not want to see the front of the house. 390 00:14:13,204 --> 00:14:14,979 It's a pumpkin crime scene out there. 391 00:14:16,312 --> 00:14:18,968 So, how was the dance? Did you talk to Harper? 392 00:14:19,081 --> 00:14:21,031 Come on, spill it. Mama wants some deets. 393 00:14:21,114 --> 00:14:22,893 Well, she came up to me and said "Hi." 394 00:14:23,026 --> 00:14:24,635 At that point, I got sort of nervous, 395 00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:26,013 so my hands started to shake. 396 00:14:26,202 --> 00:14:28,161 Soon the shaking spread to my whole body. 397 00:14:28,321 --> 00:14:30,811 I tried to stop it, but that's when the dizziness set in. 398 00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:32,296 It's weird-- you always hear people say 399 00:14:32,406 --> 00:14:35,033 the room started spinning, but it really did. 400 00:14:35,254 --> 00:14:37,289 I think that's about the time I bit my tongue, 401 00:14:37,448 --> 00:14:38,906 'cause I tasted my own blood. 402 00:14:39,066 --> 00:14:40,592 At least I think that was my blood-- 403 00:14:40,694 --> 00:14:41,549 it could have been hers. 404 00:14:41,628 --> 00:14:43,229 I clawed her face pretty good on the way down. 405 00:14:43,334 --> 00:14:44,204 The way down? 406 00:14:44,308 --> 00:14:45,719 Yeah, I took out the whole snack table. 407 00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,389 Anyway, when I came to, 408 00:14:47,491 --> 00:14:49,198 I was getting oxygen from the paramedics. 409 00:14:49,317 --> 00:14:51,142 Apparently, I banged my head on the punch bowl. 410 00:14:51,241 --> 00:14:53,288 They said I'm supposed to sleep upright tonight 411 00:14:53,391 --> 00:14:56,000 and you need to check my pupils once an hour. 412 00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,711 Clearly, I am not ready for a real relationship. 413 00:14:59,822 --> 00:15:01,001 Oh, well. We tried. 414 00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:04,520 Oh. 415 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,552 They said I'm supposed to sleep upright tonight 416 00:15:06,649 --> 00:15:08,782 and you need to check my pupils once an hour. 417 00:15:09,455 --> 00:15:11,323 Did I mention that already? 418 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,434 Hmm. 419 00:15:23,476 --> 00:15:26,778 Guess we're the last ones. We should probably go. 420 00:15:26,888 --> 00:15:29,498 Oh. Uh, hey, you can't leave yet. 421 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,046 You haven't even been to the beach. 422 00:15:31,158 --> 00:15:32,165 Uh, would you care to take 423 00:15:32,260 --> 00:15:34,821 a moonlit stroll on the sand? 424 00:15:39,786 --> 00:15:41,795 Okay, maybe I've had too many jello shots, 425 00:15:41,891 --> 00:15:44,164 but this is really cool! 426 00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:47,377 We should go get our bikinis! 427 00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:52,934 Oh, my God. Seriously? 428 00:15:53,013 --> 00:15:54,179 This is not happening! 429 00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,832 Okay, you know what? That's it. We're done. 430 00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:59,439 No more jumping or flapping or playing jockstrap gas mask. 431 00:15:59,518 --> 00:16:00,566 We are taking back our cool! 432 00:16:00,647 --> 00:16:01,521 Oh, yeah, we are. 433 00:16:01,609 --> 00:16:03,143 And besides, how are they even gonna know? 434 00:16:03,272 --> 00:16:04,225 Uh, yeah. 435 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,392 Pbht! 436 00:16:05,819 --> 00:16:08,096 So, you were saying something about bikinis. 437 00:16:09,371 --> 00:16:12,301 Oh, God, no. No, no! 438 00:16:12,434 --> 00:16:14,702 No! Aah! 439 00:16:14,796 --> 00:16:17,283 - Ladies, we'll be right back. - Come on! 440 00:16:17,383 --> 00:16:19,113 These boots were made for walking! 441 00:16:20,357 --> 00:16:22,125 Yo, dude, that pirate girl was totally into you. 442 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:22,969 I could tell. 443 00:16:23,075 --> 00:16:23,801 Thanks, man. 444 00:16:23,872 --> 00:16:25,046 You were killing it with that cowgirl. 445 00:16:25,123 --> 00:16:26,744 Yep! We're back! 446 00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:28,328 We are definitely back. 447 00:16:28,409 --> 00:16:29,288 High five! 448 00:16:34,324 --> 00:16:35,879 - I'll get you later. - Yeah. 449 00:16:40,446 --> 00:16:42,997 Hey, guys, what do you think about this for a headline? 450 00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:45,772 "The night I asked Christopher Columbus for a sign 451 00:16:45,864 --> 00:16:47,386 and got the Santa Maria, 452 00:16:47,496 --> 00:16:50,390 AKA The Sue-ance, colon, 453 00:16:50,519 --> 00:16:52,604 I'm not kidding. It really happened. 454 00:16:52,691 --> 00:16:54,240 Dot, dot, dot-- it's true. 455 00:16:54,366 --> 00:16:55,728 I'm totally serious." 456 00:16:56,323 --> 00:16:57,914 I had another one, but it was too long. 457 00:16:58,077 --> 00:16:59,764 Sue, uh, before we hit the sack, 458 00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:02,176 we kind of wanted to talk to you about all this. 459 00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:05,083 We know you think you saw... 460 00:17:05,637 --> 00:17:07,857 something, a-and that's great. 461 00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,750 What's not so great is... 462 00:17:09,939 --> 00:17:12,818 the... you know, telling people. 463 00:17:13,284 --> 00:17:14,080 Why not? 464 00:17:14,171 --> 00:17:15,503 'Cause it sounds a little nuts. 465 00:17:15,627 --> 00:17:17,461 But that's why I have to tell people, 466 00:17:17,588 --> 00:17:19,800 because it's so unbelievable. 467 00:17:20,390 --> 00:17:22,767 You guys were supposed to check my pupils an hour ago. 468 00:17:23,096 --> 00:17:23,769 Oh. 469 00:17:26,342 --> 00:17:27,549 You're fine. 470 00:17:28,449 --> 00:17:31,212 I'm telling you, I saw the Santa Maria. 471 00:17:31,346 --> 00:17:34,180 It was white and glowing and sailed right across 472 00:17:34,291 --> 00:17:35,950 the paneling in our family room. 473 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,330 Okay, Sue, let's be honest. 474 00:17:37,445 --> 00:17:39,257 That could be a million things. 475 00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:41,663 - Like what? - Oh, I don't know-- the Moon, a shadow, 476 00:17:41,813 --> 00:17:43,803 the headlights of a car coming up the street. 477 00:17:43,921 --> 00:17:47,333 Dad, headlights don't look like the ships of famous explorers. 478 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:50,561 Honey, we all think we've seen strange things. 479 00:17:50,712 --> 00:17:53,314 You know, when I was little, I looked out my window, 480 00:17:53,425 --> 00:17:55,639 and I swear to God, I saw a UFO 481 00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:58,013 beam our trash can up into the spaceship. 482 00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,840 Really? Wait. Can I quote you for my article? 483 00:17:59,938 --> 00:18:01,846 No, no-- the point is, 484 00:18:02,002 --> 00:18:04,238 even though it seemed very real at the time, 485 00:18:04,393 --> 00:18:05,701 I know it wasn't. 486 00:18:05,803 --> 00:18:07,543 Well, that might be because time is a circle, 487 00:18:07,647 --> 00:18:09,142 but it's also sometimes a line. 488 00:18:09,315 --> 00:18:11,506 See, you're either experiencing something in the past 489 00:18:11,602 --> 00:18:13,050 that you would have experienced in the future, 490 00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:15,235 or you're remembering something that already happened 491 00:18:15,342 --> 00:18:16,814 that you haven't seen yet. 492 00:18:17,218 --> 00:18:19,312 Also, did you know that you can taste colors? 493 00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,308 You guys, I know what I saw. 494 00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:26,746 Yeah, well, sometimes our mind plays tricks on us. 495 00:18:26,845 --> 00:18:27,952 Like one time, I woke up, 496 00:18:28,059 --> 00:18:30,621 and saw an old woman sitting at the end of my bed. 497 00:18:30,983 --> 00:18:32,030 But you don't hear me talking about it. 498 00:18:32,215 --> 00:18:34,975 What? You never told me that. 499 00:18:35,284 --> 00:18:36,387 'Cause there's nothing to tell. 500 00:18:36,495 --> 00:18:39,035 Well, obviously, there's something to tell. 501 00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:40,019 Eh, it was nothing. 502 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:41,677 She was sitting there. She looked straight at me. 503 00:18:41,778 --> 00:18:43,972 We stared at each other for a minute. End of story. 504 00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:45,421 What did she look like? 505 00:18:45,853 --> 00:18:46,588 I don't know. 506 00:18:46,683 --> 00:18:48,694 She was wearing an old-timey robe kind of thing. 507 00:18:48,788 --> 00:18:50,045 But that's not my point. My point is 508 00:18:50,157 --> 00:18:51,895 that it didn't happen, and that's-- 509 00:18:51,983 --> 00:18:53,806 So, you don't know who it was? 510 00:18:53,964 --> 00:18:54,757 No. 511 00:18:54,831 --> 00:18:57,432 I mean, she looked like my grandma, but... 512 00:18:57,516 --> 00:18:59,408 - Your grandma?! - Yeah. 513 00:18:59,489 --> 00:19:01,159 She was wearing kind of a big pin. 514 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:02,676 A pin? 515 00:19:02,776 --> 00:19:04,066 You mean like the one in every single picture 516 00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:06,114 I have ever seen of your grandmother? 517 00:19:06,225 --> 00:19:07,532 Did she say anything? 518 00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:09,116 No, just... 519 00:19:09,221 --> 00:19:12,566 Well, she said, uh, "Everything's gonna be okay," 520 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,307 - but that was really it. - Oh, my God! 521 00:19:15,350 --> 00:19:17,619 Now I totally believe I saw the Santa Maria! 522 00:19:17,883 --> 00:19:19,820 No-- look, what I'm saying is, 523 00:19:19,924 --> 00:19:22,293 my grandma was probably just on my mind. 524 00:19:22,481 --> 00:19:24,262 So I was thinking about her. That's all. 525 00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,199 Or your dead grandmother came to see you 526 00:19:26,312 --> 00:19:27,479 in the middle of the night. 527 00:19:27,587 --> 00:19:29,210 Frankie, it never happened. 528 00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:31,206 And you know how I know? Because she's dead. 529 00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:33,497 It was just my mind playing tricks on me, 530 00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:35,020 and I don't go around telling people about it 531 00:19:35,117 --> 00:19:37,097 because it sounds insane. 532 00:19:37,183 --> 00:19:39,299 No, it sounds incredible! 533 00:19:39,598 --> 00:19:43,257 I mean, there are so many beautiful, amazing things 534 00:19:43,357 --> 00:19:46,464 that happen every day that sound crazy. 535 00:19:46,711 --> 00:19:47,544 Think about it. 536 00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:49,979 If I had to explain the miracle of how babies are born 537 00:19:50,076 --> 00:19:53,638 to someone who didn't know, wouldn't I sound insane? 538 00:19:53,741 --> 00:19:54,655 Yeah, but-- 539 00:19:54,737 --> 00:19:55,665 And stars. 540 00:19:55,784 --> 00:19:57,648 I read that when a star explodes, 541 00:19:57,789 --> 00:20:00,357 the dust they find is the same thing 542 00:20:00,446 --> 00:20:05,013 that makes up humans, animals, the entire universe. 543 00:20:05,134 --> 00:20:06,383 How amazing is that? 544 00:20:06,516 --> 00:20:10,448 The same stardust is in everything and everyone-- 545 00:20:10,563 --> 00:20:13,907 me, you, even Christopher Columbus. 546 00:20:14,021 --> 00:20:15,361 You know, in his day, 547 00:20:15,473 --> 00:20:17,451 some people still thought the world was flat. 548 00:20:17,563 --> 00:20:20,493 Columbus said it was round, and people thought he was crazy. 549 00:20:20,707 --> 00:20:22,648 Look, I know there's always gonna be doubters, 550 00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:24,499 but it just takes someone who thinks, 551 00:20:24,661 --> 00:20:26,249 "Why can't it be true?" 552 00:20:26,397 --> 00:20:30,248 to truly change the world, and I am one of those people. 553 00:20:30,461 --> 00:20:34,431 So how can you sit there on this planet made of stardust 554 00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:36,161 that was once thought to be flat 555 00:20:36,296 --> 00:20:39,691 and still not think anything is possible? 556 00:20:40,861 --> 00:20:42,253 Because it isn't. 557 00:20:42,514 --> 00:20:44,157 Now let's go. It's late. Time for bed. 558 00:20:50,808 --> 00:20:53,912 That night, as everyone drifted off to sleep, 559 00:20:54,710 --> 00:20:57,791 what Sue had said was in all our minds... 560 00:21:00,945 --> 00:21:02,574 ...some more than others. 561 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,546 Was it headlights? 562 00:21:25,039 --> 00:21:26,910 The ghost of the Santa Maria? 563 00:21:27,472 --> 00:21:29,563 Or even a little bit of stardust? 564 00:21:30,128 --> 00:21:31,223 Who knows? 565 00:21:32,241 --> 00:21:33,694 Anything is possible. 566 00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:40,450 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 567 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 568 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:44,103 Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player 569 00:21:44,153 --> 00:21:48,703 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 41713

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