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1
00:00:00,168 --> 00:00:03,119
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:04,998 --> 00:00:06,218
Fall in the Midwest
3
00:00:06,306 --> 00:00:08,765
means one thingand one thing only-- football.
4
00:00:08,911 --> 00:00:11,346
And with Axl playing collegeball for the first time,
5
00:00:11,480 --> 00:00:12,855
the pressure was on.
6
00:00:13,482 --> 00:00:14,515
All right.
7
00:00:14,674 --> 00:00:16,302
We got to get this thing
in the end zone.
8
00:00:16,536 --> 00:00:18,292
You go right.
I'm gonna go left.
9
00:00:18,376 --> 00:00:20,619
- Got it!
- Ready?! Break!
10
00:00:20,744 --> 00:00:22,714
Let's go, freshmen!
11
00:00:22,794 --> 00:00:25,636
The thing is, Axl had gone from
a big man on a small campus
12
00:00:25,731 --> 00:00:28,341
to a small manon a bigger campus.
13
00:00:28,421 --> 00:00:29,418
Here you go, freshman!
14
00:00:33,154 --> 00:00:34,694
So, Hutch, where are you from?
15
00:00:34,745 --> 00:00:36,187
Chicago.
How about yourself?
16
00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:37,908
Uh, a few towns thataway.
17
00:00:38,891 --> 00:00:40,290
I couldn't stay
forever, though.
18
00:00:40,434 --> 00:00:43,546
Had to break out,
test my stuff in the real world.
19
00:00:43,646 --> 00:00:44,977
- Ah, I feel you.
- Yeah.
20
00:00:45,075 --> 00:00:47,174
I already killed it back home,
so I had to move on.
21
00:00:47,317 --> 00:00:48,354
- Mm.
- I was so awesome,
22
00:00:48,468 --> 00:00:50,863
it was like I walked around
my high school in slow motion.
23
00:00:50,944 --> 00:00:51,668
Hmm.
24
00:00:51,763 --> 00:00:52,811
Prom king!
25
00:00:52,943 --> 00:00:54,137
- Oh.
- Yeah.
26
00:00:54,247 --> 00:00:55,606
Oh, I can see that.
27
00:00:55,733 --> 00:00:57,033
- You're a good-looking guy.
- Mm.
28
00:00:57,127 --> 00:00:58,897
I'd hit that if I was into
hitting that kind of thing.
29
00:00:59,025 --> 00:01:00,058
Thanks, man.
30
00:01:00,156 --> 00:01:02,726
So, you liking college?
31
00:01:02,858 --> 00:01:04,430
Hells yeah.
What's not to like?
32
00:01:04,522 --> 00:01:06,077
Yeah. Same here, man.
33
00:01:06,581 --> 00:01:08,415
Time of my life.
34
00:01:12,819 --> 00:01:14,978
Hey. Don't eat that.
It's for the trick-or-treaters.
35
00:01:15,192 --> 00:01:16,360
Licorice menorahs?
36
00:01:16,458 --> 00:01:17,804
Yeah, well, when I buy
the good stuff,
37
00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:19,334
we eat it all before Halloween.
38
00:01:19,437 --> 00:01:21,354
So this way, none of us
will be tempted.
39
00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:22,811
Yeah.
40
00:01:22,911 --> 00:01:24,102
Gross, right?
41
00:01:25,775 --> 00:01:26,912
So, where's Brick?
42
00:01:27,004 --> 00:01:28,837
I got sick of him
not emptying the dishwasher,
43
00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:30,005
so I finally punished him.
44
00:01:30,092 --> 00:01:31,337
I made him go to a party.
45
00:01:31,553 --> 00:01:33,695
Wow. Pretty rough
for just the dishwasher.
46
00:01:33,772 --> 00:01:34,858
Well, he pushed me too far.
47
00:01:34,958 --> 00:01:35,963
I told him
if he doesn't shape up,
48
00:01:36,095 --> 00:01:37,729
he's getting a playdate.
49
00:01:37,941 --> 00:01:39,224
Well, that was horrible.
50
00:01:39,321 --> 00:01:40,745
Maybe next time,
you listen to your mom.
51
00:01:40,923 --> 00:01:42,717
No, it was
a new kind of horrible.
52
00:01:42,861 --> 00:01:44,355
I mean, at the few
elementary-school parties
53
00:01:44,444 --> 00:01:45,340
I was invited to,
54
00:01:45,497 --> 00:01:47,111
boys would run around
and be stupid,
55
00:01:47,283 --> 00:01:48,556
but now there's boys and girls,
56
00:01:48,681 --> 00:01:50,363
and everyone just hangs out
in the basement.
57
00:01:50,469 --> 00:01:51,794
Every time I turned up
the lights to read,
58
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:53,773
someone would just
dim them down again.
59
00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:55,180
Next time I go to a party,
60
00:01:55,274 --> 00:01:57,003
I'm bringing
my itty-bitty book light.
61
00:01:57,377 --> 00:01:59,001
Ah--
well, you know, Brick,
62
00:01:59,085 --> 00:02:00,585
you're at that age
where boys and girls
63
00:02:00,706 --> 00:02:02,287
are starting
to notice each other.
64
00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:03,957
You just might not
be there yet.
65
00:02:04,070 --> 00:02:05,924
Oh, I'm there.
I'm definitely there.
66
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:07,270
- You are?
- Big time.
67
00:02:07,405 --> 00:02:09,149
There's this one girl
I really like-- Harper.
68
00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:11,700
Really?
Oh, wow, Brick!
69
00:02:11,802 --> 00:02:13,370
So, what is it
that you like about her?
70
00:02:13,469 --> 00:02:14,586
Is she into books, like you?
71
00:02:14,737 --> 00:02:16,876
No, over the summer,
she got her boobs.
72
00:02:18,369 --> 00:02:19,582
Oh.
73
00:02:20,004 --> 00:02:23,045
So, uh, was she at the party?
Did you try to talk to her?
74
00:02:23,222 --> 00:02:24,461
Not exactly,
75
00:02:24,604 --> 00:02:26,192
but I kind of stared at her
for an hour
76
00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:29,165
until she got creeped out,
so I'm definitely on her radar.
77
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:30,610
Brick, you can't just
78
00:02:30,766 --> 00:02:32,469
stare at someone
when you like 'em.
79
00:02:32,577 --> 00:02:34,999
You kind of have to,
you know...
80
00:02:36,651 --> 00:02:38,897
Jump in anytime, dad.
81
00:02:39,528 --> 00:02:41,541
Well, when I was your age
and I liked a girl,
82
00:02:41,655 --> 00:02:43,943
I would ride my bike
by her house.
83
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,810
Yeah, I don't know
if people do that anymore.
84
00:02:45,984 --> 00:02:46,863
From what I've gleaned,
85
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,911
they do more communicating
through social media--
86
00:02:48,993 --> 00:02:50,982
you know, texts, tweets,
and whatnot.
87
00:02:51,141 --> 00:02:53,253
They also don't use words
like "Gleaned."
88
00:02:53,366 --> 00:02:55,010
That's perfect for you,
Brick--
89
00:02:55,095 --> 00:02:56,960
no eye contact, all words.
90
00:02:57,118 --> 00:02:59,907
Yeah. I guess that might be
more apropos.
91
00:03:00,088 --> 00:03:01,774
But don't say "Apropos"!
92
00:03:02,838 --> 00:03:03,863
We really should
redo the basement
93
00:03:03,968 --> 00:03:06,080
- so he'll have someplace to live.
- Mm.
94
00:03:06,443 --> 00:03:08,812
Throw him down!
Get that pin!
95
00:03:08,918 --> 00:03:10,295
The fighting hens will...
96
00:03:10,394 --> 00:03:11,766
- ...cleanse your sin!
- ...peel your skin!
97
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:13,173
...kick him in the mouth!
98
00:03:13,453 --> 00:03:14,488
You know what?
99
00:03:14,590 --> 00:03:17,747
Wrestlerettes isn't just about
well-thought-out cheers
100
00:03:17,854 --> 00:03:22,034
that people spent a lot of time
coming up with.
101
00:03:22,169 --> 00:03:23,869
It's about chemistry.
102
00:03:24,438 --> 00:03:26,856
There is only one way
to fix this.
103
00:03:26,933 --> 00:03:28,873
- Hemlock? - Quit because we suck?
- Prayer circle?
104
00:03:28,998 --> 00:03:32,941
No.
Team bonding sleepover.
105
00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:34,334
Mandatory!
106
00:03:37,765 --> 00:03:39,946
Axl, why did you take
all my stuff out?
107
00:03:40,060 --> 00:03:41,228
God, you are so selfish.
108
00:03:41,392 --> 00:03:44,220
You have all week to relax
and do all the laundry you want.
109
00:03:46,171 --> 00:03:48,023
How many uniforms do you own?
110
00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:50,410
They're hazing him, Frankie.
Making him do their laundry.
111
00:03:50,499 --> 00:03:52,081
Brings the team
closer together.
112
00:03:52,511 --> 00:03:54,375
Okay.
I don't get men at all.
113
00:03:54,524 --> 00:03:56,079
Yeah, I'm with you. This is really--
114
00:03:56,180 --> 00:03:57,134
Oh.
115
00:03:57,576 --> 00:03:58,364
Ohh.
116
00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:00,826
- What are you doing?
- Every time I get a text from a senior,
117
00:04:00,932 --> 00:04:02,197
I got to hop on one foot.
118
00:04:02,334 --> 00:04:05,326
- But they're not even here.
- Oh, they'll know.
119
00:04:08,857 --> 00:04:09,936
Hey, Brick.
120
00:04:10,042 --> 00:04:11,189
Hey, you never told me
what happened
121
00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,291
with that Harper girl, hmm?
122
00:04:13,390 --> 00:04:14,440
Did you ever e-mail her?
123
00:04:14,564 --> 00:04:16,151
- Uh-huh.
- You did?!
124
00:04:16,264 --> 00:04:17,381
Did she write you back?
125
00:04:17,467 --> 00:04:18,915
Yep.
About five days ago.
126
00:04:19,004 --> 00:04:20,110
Are you serious?
127
00:04:20,202 --> 00:04:21,434
So, what did she say?
What did you say?
128
00:04:21,574 --> 00:04:23,262
Nothing.
I haven't answered back.
129
00:04:23,624 --> 00:04:26,548
Brick, you can't leave her
hanging for five days.
130
00:04:26,646 --> 00:04:27,626
Mike, tell him.
131
00:04:28,008 --> 00:04:29,143
I gave him the bike idea.
132
00:04:29,234 --> 00:04:30,405
That's my best stuff.
133
00:04:30,488 --> 00:04:31,527
Hey, she's online.
134
00:04:31,599 --> 00:04:33,413
Good. This is good.
You got to message her.
135
00:04:33,511 --> 00:04:35,543
Tell her you're sorry.
You forgot to get back to her.
136
00:04:35,657 --> 00:04:36,615
Okay.
137
00:04:37,318 --> 00:04:41,229
"Sorry I didn't
get back to you.
138
00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:42,317
I forgot."
139
00:04:42,437 --> 00:04:43,530
Wait.
Don't say you forgot.
140
00:04:43,615 --> 00:04:45,976
It sounds like you don't care.
Make up a good excuse.
141
00:04:48,092 --> 00:04:49,758
"Sorry I didn't
get back to you.
142
00:04:50,047 --> 00:04:52,470
I had diarrhea."
143
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:53,548
Send?
144
00:04:53,657 --> 00:04:54,671
Wait. Did you
just hit "Send"?!
145
00:04:54,858 --> 00:04:56,084
Mike,
he just hit "Send."
146
00:04:56,187 --> 00:04:57,242
Smooth, Brick.
147
00:04:57,322 --> 00:04:58,317
Might as well pull the plug.
148
00:04:58,396 --> 00:04:59,516
There's no coming back
from that.
149
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,132
What? No, we're okay.
150
00:05:01,206 --> 00:05:02,970
Come on,
this is totally fixable.
151
00:05:03,028 --> 00:05:04,730
You just got to make sure
she knows it was a joke.
152
00:05:04,810 --> 00:05:06,880
Why are we hopping?
How much hopping did I miss?
153
00:05:06,995 --> 00:05:09,549
Brick's talking to a girl,
and mom's losing her mind.
154
00:05:09,755 --> 00:05:11,565
Oh.
155
00:05:11,642 --> 00:05:13,589
Got it. Hit her with a "jk"
and a smiley face.
156
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,043
Go.
Typety, type, type!
157
00:05:17,214 --> 00:05:18,641
She said, "Ha."
158
00:05:18,741 --> 00:05:19,920
- Yes! - Good job, mom.
- Yay!
159
00:05:20,006 --> 00:05:21,904
All right.
Now you got her on the hook.
160
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,178
Now you just got to
reel her in.
161
00:05:23,274 --> 00:05:24,732
Tell her you enjoyed
seeing her at school today.
162
00:05:24,811 --> 00:05:25,860
Ask if you can take her
to lunch.
163
00:05:25,935 --> 00:05:27,769
Oh, my God. Brick, don't listen
to anything these people say.
164
00:05:27,853 --> 00:05:29,094
I mean, look who they ended up with.
165
00:05:29,953 --> 00:05:31,511
She asked
what I'm doing right now.
166
00:05:31,588 --> 00:05:32,924
Oh, boy.
Okay, come on, guys.
167
00:05:32,993 --> 00:05:34,658
- What's he doing? What's he doing?
- I got this.
168
00:05:34,773 --> 00:05:36,938
You absolutely
do not got this. Wait.
169
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:37,975
Quick, open a side window
170
00:05:38,097 --> 00:05:39,553
and pull up
kickinitteenstyle.com.
171
00:05:39,650 --> 00:05:41,536
- Their teen text tutor is very good.
- Oh, my God!
172
00:05:41,664 --> 00:05:42,705
Tell her you're putting
your baseball cards
173
00:05:42,784 --> 00:05:44,067
in your bike spokes.
174
00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:46,536
- No, no, you're playing charades
with your family. - Hello!
175
00:05:46,702 --> 00:05:48,123
Who in this room
has actually kissed anyone
176
00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:50,191
in the past 10 years
besides a gross mom?
177
00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:51,456
Brick, the correct response
178
00:05:51,549 --> 00:05:53,687
to "What are you doing?"
is "Nothin'."
179
00:05:53,817 --> 00:05:56,053
All lowercase, and don't you
dare put a "G" on the end.
180
00:05:58,612 --> 00:06:00,363
She said, "Cool."
181
00:06:00,491 --> 00:06:02,153
- Boom! It's on!
- Mmm. - Whoo!
182
00:06:02,254 --> 00:06:04,372
- Okay, okay. - Okay, what's
next? Got to keep it rolling.
183
00:06:04,583 --> 00:06:06,440
I'm gonna ask her
if she's read "Planet Nowhere."
184
00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:07,326
No!
185
00:06:07,419 --> 00:06:08,653
How about
her feelings on fonts?
186
00:06:08,742 --> 00:06:09,659
No!
187
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:11,529
Don't I want her to know
the real me?!
188
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:13,105
- No! - No! - No!
- Oh, God, no!
189
00:06:14,713 --> 00:06:16,262
She said,
"Are you still there?"
190
00:06:16,356 --> 00:06:18,401
We're losing her!
Come on, ticktock, people.
191
00:06:18,484 --> 00:06:19,665
The clock's running out.
192
00:06:19,818 --> 00:06:21,849
Can I ask her to go to
the Halloween dance with me?
193
00:06:23,436 --> 00:06:25,808
Huh.
What do you guys think?
194
00:06:25,896 --> 00:06:27,417
I like it.
It's a gutsy move.
195
00:06:27,478 --> 00:06:29,671
It's a little risky.
What if he scares her off?
196
00:06:29,743 --> 00:06:31,306
He already told her
he has diarrhea.
197
00:06:31,389 --> 00:06:32,623
He has nothing to lose.
198
00:06:32,972 --> 00:06:34,834
So, we're all in agreement?
199
00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,813
We're doing this?
We're going for it.
200
00:06:37,061 --> 00:06:39,249
We are going for it, people!
201
00:06:39,339 --> 00:06:40,582
- Whoo!
- Whoo!
202
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:45,943
"Will you go
to the dance with me?"
203
00:06:46,089 --> 00:06:47,408
Sending?
I'm sending!
204
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
205
00:06:57,648 --> 00:06:58,785
She said, "Yes"!
206
00:07:00,029 --> 00:07:01,734
Yeah! All right!
207
00:07:01,818 --> 00:07:03,225
- All right!
- Whoo!
208
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,067
Okay, well,
I think we can all agree
209
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,588
that trust falls
were a failed experiment.
210
00:07:13,695 --> 00:07:16,131
So, what do you guys
want to do?
211
00:07:16,856 --> 00:07:17,962
We could have a s?ance.
212
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:20,998
Ooh!
Very Halloween-y.
213
00:07:21,122 --> 00:07:22,197
I like it!
214
00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:23,660
Becky, get the lights.
215
00:07:24,734 --> 00:07:27,180
So... what do we do?
216
00:07:27,292 --> 00:07:28,441
Uh, let's hold hands.
217
00:07:29,353 --> 00:07:31,780
Okay, first, we need to call
the spirit of a dead person.
218
00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:34,124
It's your house, so you should
probably make the call.
219
00:07:34,495 --> 00:07:36,749
Okay. Uh...
220
00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:38,979
Oh, spirits.
221
00:07:39,145 --> 00:07:40,415
I know this is your busy season
222
00:07:40,542 --> 00:07:42,048
with Halloween
coming up and all,
223
00:07:42,178 --> 00:07:43,360
but if it's cool with you,
224
00:07:43,553 --> 00:07:46,629
we would like to contact
the spirit of...
225
00:07:46,951 --> 00:07:49,124
Christopher Columbus!
226
00:07:49,244 --> 00:07:50,803
Christopher Columbus?
227
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,470
He discovered America,
you guys,
228
00:07:52,656 --> 00:07:54,949
and I just love America
so much!
229
00:07:55,947 --> 00:07:59,092
Oh, spirits,
if Christopher Columbus
230
00:07:59,225 --> 00:08:01,464
is in the room with us
right now,
231
00:08:01,664 --> 00:08:05,103
please give us a sign--
any sign.
232
00:08:05,192 --> 00:08:06,704
Hear our call.
233
00:08:06,794 --> 00:08:09,887
Show us your spirit is here.
234
00:08:23,046 --> 00:08:24,475
'Sup?
235
00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:27,666
What's going on?
236
00:08:27,849 --> 00:08:30,012
I used to be able to land a girl
just with a "'Sup?"
237
00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:31,001
I once scored a barista
238
00:08:31,106 --> 00:08:32,834
with a wink
and a "What's kickin'?"
239
00:08:36,378 --> 00:08:38,415
You know what I miss?
I miss being cool.
240
00:08:38,512 --> 00:08:39,860
Yeah. Me, too.
241
00:08:42,166 --> 00:08:44,300
Hey, baby.
How's it going?
242
00:08:44,456 --> 00:08:45,637
You know what we got to do?
243
00:08:45,939 --> 00:08:46,701
What, go back to high school
244
00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:47,999
and pretend
we're still seniors?
245
00:08:48,118 --> 00:08:48,964
No.
246
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,905
We got to throw a party
and let the hotties come to us.
247
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:54,264
Yes, that's a genius plan,
my friend-- genius plan.
248
00:08:54,392 --> 00:08:58,161
Hey, ladies--
Halloween party, Willard 305!
249
00:08:58,518 --> 00:09:00,026
Tell your friends!
250
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:03,295
So then, we're holding hands
for the s?ance, and I say,
251
00:09:03,448 --> 00:09:06,851
"If Christopher Columbus
is in the room right now"--
252
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,308
Hang on.
Christopher Columbus?
253
00:09:09,975 --> 00:09:12,126
I'm 16, mom. I don't know
a lot of dead people.
254
00:09:12,314 --> 00:09:14,687
Anyway, we asked his spirit
for a sign.
255
00:09:14,792 --> 00:09:18,548
And all of a sudden,
I see the Santa Maria
256
00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:20,830
sail across our wood paneling.
257
00:09:21,075 --> 00:09:23,060
Check the liquor cabinet.
258
00:09:23,469 --> 00:09:26,243
Dad, this really happened.
I'm serious.
259
00:09:26,512 --> 00:09:29,107
I was sitting right there,
and I looked over at the wall,
260
00:09:29,228 --> 00:09:31,490
and there it was--
the Santa Maria.
261
00:09:31,861 --> 00:09:34,523
You sure it wasn't
the Ni?a or the Pinta
262
00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:36,126
or the Never Happened-a?
263
00:09:36,226 --> 00:09:39,622
Anyway, it was sort of light
and glowing and it sailed
264
00:09:39,736 --> 00:09:41,413
from the commemorative
royal baby goblet
265
00:09:41,522 --> 00:09:43,987
all the way to dad's
cornhole trophy.
266
00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:45,720
Who'd have thought?
267
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,082
My very first s?ance,
268
00:09:47,158 --> 00:09:49,869
and I see an actual sign
from the beyond.
269
00:09:51,282 --> 00:09:52,874
I must be really good at it.
270
00:09:53,031 --> 00:09:54,908
- Mm.
- Mm.
271
00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:56,926
We might want to clear out
272
00:09:57,057 --> 00:09:58,625
the other half
of the basement for her.
273
00:10:00,921 --> 00:10:03,066
So, Axl and Hutch threwtheir first college party,
274
00:10:03,173 --> 00:10:05,759
and sure enough,it was a huge success...
275
00:10:06,146 --> 00:10:08,066
right after they leftto make a snack run.
276
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,098
Oh, check it out.
Told you it would work.
277
00:10:10,626 --> 00:10:12,011
Pardon us--
our party.
278
00:10:12,093 --> 00:10:12,946
- Excuse us.
- You're welcome.
279
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,162
Party hosts coming through.
280
00:10:14,373 --> 00:10:15,071
Oh!
281
00:10:16,562 --> 00:10:18,385
- Whoo!
- Hey, hey, you can't go in there.
282
00:10:18,503 --> 00:10:19,697
Oh, no, no, no, it's my party.
283
00:10:19,801 --> 00:10:21,279
I don't think so.
This is a football party.
284
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:23,853
I know. We're football players.
Remember us?
285
00:10:23,937 --> 00:10:25,640
Yesterday, you made us
drink out of a mop bucket.
286
00:10:25,724 --> 00:10:27,065
Yeah, we just went out
to get some chips.
287
00:10:27,173 --> 00:10:28,618
Hey, hey, hey!
We got chips!
288
00:10:30,606 --> 00:10:31,562
Yeah!
289
00:10:32,236 --> 00:10:32,990
Oh, oh, come--
290
00:10:33,308 --> 00:10:35,586
You're seriously gonna keep me
out of my own party?!
291
00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:37,490
Oh, man!
292
00:10:37,888 --> 00:10:39,673
There's a hot chick
sitting right on my bed!
293
00:10:39,917 --> 00:10:41,460
Oh, and we got a slutty nurse!
294
00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:43,994
- What?
- And a slutty Alice In Wonderland!
295
00:10:44,157 --> 00:10:47,178
I don't even know what that is,
but it's definitely slutty.
296
00:10:54,556 --> 00:10:56,090
Hey.
I'm off to the dance.
297
00:10:56,965 --> 00:10:58,379
What are you supposed to be?
298
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:00,001
Well, I'm a bookmark.
299
00:11:00,199 --> 00:11:01,501
Brick!
300
00:11:02,208 --> 00:11:03,088
I thought we agreed
301
00:11:03,179 --> 00:11:04,982
you were going to be
a gangster, remember?
302
00:11:05,101 --> 00:11:06,692
We talked about how cool
you'd look in a fedora
303
00:11:06,781 --> 00:11:08,611
and how much Harper
would like it.
304
00:11:08,748 --> 00:11:09,899
Yeah, but then I decided
305
00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:12,259
what sixth grader
doesn't love a bookmark?
306
00:11:12,406 --> 00:11:13,786
So, any
last-minute advice
307
00:11:13,896 --> 00:11:15,812
before I head off
to my first dance?
308
00:11:15,904 --> 00:11:16,744
Whoop!
309
00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:19,281
Just... just...
310
00:11:19,397 --> 00:11:20,934
Good luck.
311
00:11:27,425 --> 00:11:28,156
Trick or treat!
312
00:11:28,248 --> 00:11:29,395
Oh, come on.
You guys seriously
313
00:11:29,506 --> 00:11:31,854
ate all the licorice menorahs?
314
00:11:32,074 --> 00:11:34,931
The whole point
of buying this crap candy
315
00:11:35,016 --> 00:11:36,305
is so that we wouldn't eat it!
316
00:11:36,408 --> 00:11:37,974
We are the worst family ever!
317
00:11:38,049 --> 00:11:39,214
Trick or treat!
318
00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:40,754
Quick, hit the lights.
We got to hide.
319
00:11:42,522 --> 00:11:44,082
Mom, mom, I have to tell you
what happened today.
320
00:11:44,325 --> 00:11:45,333
Tell me in the laundry room!
321
00:11:45,453 --> 00:11:46,743
We're hiding from
the trick-or-treaters.
322
00:11:47,505 --> 00:11:49,482
Come on, open the door!
323
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,883
So, at school today,
324
00:11:51,021 --> 00:11:52,963
I was telling everyone in class
about how I saw
325
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,292
the ghost of the Santa Mariaappear on our paneling.
326
00:11:55,458 --> 00:11:56,195
Whoa.
327
00:11:56,262 --> 00:11:57,494
You told people about this?
328
00:11:57,699 --> 00:11:58,486
Yeah.
329
00:11:58,579 --> 00:12:00,138
So, then my biology teacher
said--
330
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:02,809
- You told your teacher, too?
- Of course.
331
00:12:02,949 --> 00:12:04,717
I wanted to get
his scientific opinion
332
00:12:04,832 --> 00:12:07,090
on this supernatural phenomena.
333
00:12:07,249 --> 00:12:08,699
Anyway, I am getting
334
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,260
so many different reactions
to this story.
335
00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:13,683
You know what?
336
00:12:13,824 --> 00:12:16,309
This would make a great article
for the student paper.
337
00:12:16,430 --> 00:12:17,736
I'm gonna go
jot down some notes.
338
00:12:17,959 --> 00:12:19,714
- Trick or treat!
- Belly crawl!
339
00:12:19,829 --> 00:12:21,049
I see you!
340
00:12:21,222 --> 00:12:23,094
Trick or treat!
341
00:12:23,726 --> 00:12:24,959
Open up!
342
00:12:25,947 --> 00:12:27,789
Okay, you got to stop her.
343
00:12:27,966 --> 00:12:28,829
From what?
344
00:12:28,926 --> 00:12:30,664
From sounding like an idiot,
Frankie.
345
00:12:30,753 --> 00:12:33,149
She's telling people she saw
Christopher Columbus on our wall.
346
00:12:33,247 --> 00:12:34,489
So what? She's excited.
347
00:12:34,572 --> 00:12:36,186
- Who cares?
- I care.
348
00:12:36,366 --> 00:12:39,234
It'd be fine if she was 5,
but she's 16 now.
349
00:12:39,343 --> 00:12:41,411
She's got to grow up, or people
are gonna think she's nuts.
350
00:12:41,568 --> 00:12:43,939
Okay, yes,
she's a little innocent
351
00:12:44,037 --> 00:12:45,478
compared to other girls
her age,
352
00:12:45,561 --> 00:12:47,463
but you should be happy
about that.
353
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,036
She's sweet and trusting
and open to everything.
354
00:12:51,135 --> 00:12:52,751
That's what makes her Sue.
355
00:12:52,853 --> 00:12:55,390
Look, I don't want to change her.
I just want to protect her.
356
00:12:55,485 --> 00:12:56,893
I'm her dad.
That's my job.
357
00:12:57,096 --> 00:12:59,681
She can be herself
all she wants at home.
358
00:12:59,765 --> 00:13:02,826
But in public, she's just
got to dial down the Sue
359
00:13:02,921 --> 00:13:04,201
a little bit, you know?
360
00:13:04,306 --> 00:13:07,237
That's all-- just so people
don't laugh at her.
361
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:10,013
Fine, we'll talk to her.
362
00:13:10,094 --> 00:13:11,605
I just want to be sensitive.
363
00:13:11,774 --> 00:13:15,491
Move on, you little beggars!
Can't you see we're not home?!
364
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:20,218
We'll have the last dance,
I will be your best friend
365
00:13:20,296 --> 00:13:21,665
Do you want to watch
a movie or something?
366
00:13:21,877 --> 00:13:23,522
My roommate's got a copy
of the "Tooth Fairy"
367
00:13:23,632 --> 00:13:24,529
starring the rock.
368
00:13:24,613 --> 00:13:26,267
It's funny, 'cause he's big
and he's a tooth fairy.
369
00:13:26,344 --> 00:13:30,057
No! I want to go to my party
in my room right now!
370
00:13:31,195 --> 00:13:32,912
I mean, eventually,
I do want to watch that movie,
371
00:13:33,005 --> 00:13:34,286
'cause it sounds like
a great premise,
372
00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:37,897
but first... we do this.
373
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,360
Whoa-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
374
00:13:40,493 --> 00:13:41,573
come on, come on
375
00:13:41,675 --> 00:13:44,500
let's pretend
it's the last one
376
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:45,598
Follow my lead.
377
00:13:45,705 --> 00:13:47,499
Then we're looking
toward the sky
378
00:13:47,574 --> 00:13:48,544
Stage dive!
379
00:13:48,652 --> 00:13:49,902
we're standing side by side
380
00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:52,257
this feeling's
coming over me
381
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:55,373
but I, I start to recognize
382
00:13:55,464 --> 00:13:57,256
the only thing I need
383
00:13:57,367 --> 00:14:00,175
is you standing
close to me, yeah
384
00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:01,537
Hi. I'm Axl.
385
00:14:01,744 --> 00:14:03,976
Sometimes
we want the answers
386
00:14:04,084 --> 00:14:05,030
Hey.
387
00:14:05,125 --> 00:14:07,375
Sometimes we wonder why
388
00:14:07,504 --> 00:14:09,307
He's here.
389
00:14:10,533 --> 00:14:13,100
Wow, you do not want to see
the front of the house.
390
00:14:13,204 --> 00:14:14,979
It's a pumpkin crime scene
out there.
391
00:14:16,312 --> 00:14:18,968
So, how was the dance?
Did you talk to Harper?
392
00:14:19,081 --> 00:14:21,031
Come on, spill it.
Mama wants some deets.
393
00:14:21,114 --> 00:14:22,893
Well, she came up to me
and said "Hi."
394
00:14:23,026 --> 00:14:24,635
At that point,
I got sort of nervous,
395
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:26,013
so my hands started to shake.
396
00:14:26,202 --> 00:14:28,161
Soon the shaking spread
to my whole body.
397
00:14:28,321 --> 00:14:30,811
I tried to stop it, but that's
when the dizziness set in.
398
00:14:31,005 --> 00:14:32,296
It's weird--
you always hear people say
399
00:14:32,406 --> 00:14:35,033
the room started spinning,
but it really did.
400
00:14:35,254 --> 00:14:37,289
I think that's about the time
I bit my tongue,
401
00:14:37,448 --> 00:14:38,906
'cause I tasted my own blood.
402
00:14:39,066 --> 00:14:40,592
At least I think
that was my blood--
403
00:14:40,694 --> 00:14:41,549
it could have been hers.
404
00:14:41,628 --> 00:14:43,229
I clawed her face pretty good
on the way down.
405
00:14:43,334 --> 00:14:44,204
The way down?
406
00:14:44,308 --> 00:14:45,719
Yeah, I took out
the whole snack table.
407
00:14:45,918 --> 00:14:47,389
Anyway, when I came to,
408
00:14:47,491 --> 00:14:49,198
I was getting oxygen
from the paramedics.
409
00:14:49,317 --> 00:14:51,142
Apparently, I banged my head
on the punch bowl.
410
00:14:51,241 --> 00:14:53,288
They said I'm supposed to
sleep upright tonight
411
00:14:53,391 --> 00:14:56,000
and you need to check my pupils
once an hour.
412
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,711
Clearly, I am not ready
for a real relationship.
413
00:14:59,822 --> 00:15:01,001
Oh, well. We tried.
414
00:15:03,550 --> 00:15:04,520
Oh.
415
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,552
They said I'm supposed to
sleep upright tonight
416
00:15:06,649 --> 00:15:08,782
and you need to check my pupils
once an hour.
417
00:15:09,455 --> 00:15:11,323
Did I mention that already?
418
00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:13,434
Hmm.
419
00:15:23,476 --> 00:15:26,778
Guess we're the last ones.
We should probably go.
420
00:15:26,888 --> 00:15:29,498
Oh. Uh, hey,
you can't leave yet.
421
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,046
You haven't even
been to the beach.
422
00:15:31,158 --> 00:15:32,165
Uh, would you care to take
423
00:15:32,260 --> 00:15:34,821
a moonlit stroll on the sand?
424
00:15:39,786 --> 00:15:41,795
Okay, maybe I've had
too many jello shots,
425
00:15:41,891 --> 00:15:44,164
but this is really cool!
426
00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:47,377
We should go get our bikinis!
427
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:52,934
Oh, my God.
Seriously?
428
00:15:53,013 --> 00:15:54,179
This is not happening!
429
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:55,832
Okay, you know what?
That's it. We're done.
430
00:15:55,954 --> 00:15:59,439
No more jumping or flapping
or playing jockstrap gas mask.
431
00:15:59,518 --> 00:16:00,566
We are taking back our cool!
432
00:16:00,647 --> 00:16:01,521
Oh, yeah, we are.
433
00:16:01,609 --> 00:16:03,143
And besides, how are they
even gonna know?
434
00:16:03,272 --> 00:16:04,225
Uh, yeah.
435
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,392
Pbht!
436
00:16:05,819 --> 00:16:08,096
So, you were saying something
about bikinis.
437
00:16:09,371 --> 00:16:12,301
Oh, God, no. No, no!
438
00:16:12,434 --> 00:16:14,702
No! Aah!
439
00:16:14,796 --> 00:16:17,283
- Ladies, we'll be right back.
- Come on!
440
00:16:17,383 --> 00:16:19,113
These boots
were made for walking!
441
00:16:20,357 --> 00:16:22,125
Yo, dude, that pirate girl
was totally into you.
442
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:22,969
I could tell.
443
00:16:23,075 --> 00:16:23,801
Thanks, man.
444
00:16:23,872 --> 00:16:25,046
You were killing it
with that cowgirl.
445
00:16:25,123 --> 00:16:26,744
Yep! We're back!
446
00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:28,328
We are definitely back.
447
00:16:28,409 --> 00:16:29,288
High five!
448
00:16:34,324 --> 00:16:35,879
- I'll get you later.
- Yeah.
449
00:16:40,446 --> 00:16:42,997
Hey, guys, what do you think
about this for a headline?
450
00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:45,772
"The night I asked
Christopher Columbus for a sign
451
00:16:45,864 --> 00:16:47,386
and got the Santa Maria,
452
00:16:47,496 --> 00:16:50,390
AKA The Sue-ance,
colon,
453
00:16:50,519 --> 00:16:52,604
I'm not kidding.
It really happened.
454
00:16:52,691 --> 00:16:54,240
Dot, dot, dot--
it's true.
455
00:16:54,366 --> 00:16:55,728
I'm totally serious."
456
00:16:56,323 --> 00:16:57,914
I had another one,
but it was too long.
457
00:16:58,077 --> 00:16:59,764
Sue, uh,
before we hit the sack,
458
00:16:59,851 --> 00:17:02,176
we kind of wanted to
talk to you about all this.
459
00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:05,083
We know you think you saw...
460
00:17:05,637 --> 00:17:07,857
something,
a-and that's great.
461
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:09,750
What's not so great is...
462
00:17:09,939 --> 00:17:12,818
the... you know,
telling people.
463
00:17:13,284 --> 00:17:14,080
Why not?
464
00:17:14,171 --> 00:17:15,503
'Cause it sounds a little nuts.
465
00:17:15,627 --> 00:17:17,461
But that's why
I have to tell people,
466
00:17:17,588 --> 00:17:19,800
because it's so unbelievable.
467
00:17:20,390 --> 00:17:22,767
You guys were supposed to check
my pupils an hour ago.
468
00:17:23,096 --> 00:17:23,769
Oh.
469
00:17:26,342 --> 00:17:27,549
You're fine.
470
00:17:28,449 --> 00:17:31,212
I'm telling you,
I saw the Santa Maria.
471
00:17:31,346 --> 00:17:34,180
It was white and glowing
and sailed right across
472
00:17:34,291 --> 00:17:35,950
the paneling
in our family room.
473
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,330
Okay, Sue, let's be honest.
474
00:17:37,445 --> 00:17:39,257
That could be a million things.
475
00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:41,663
- Like what?
- Oh, I don't know-- the Moon, a shadow,
476
00:17:41,813 --> 00:17:43,803
the headlights of a car
coming up the street.
477
00:17:43,921 --> 00:17:47,333
Dad, headlights don't look like
the ships of famous explorers.
478
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:50,561
Honey, we all think
we've seen strange things.
479
00:17:50,712 --> 00:17:53,314
You know, when I was little,
I looked out my window,
480
00:17:53,425 --> 00:17:55,639
and I swear to God, I saw a UFO
481
00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:58,013
beam our trash can
up into the spaceship.
482
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,840
Really? Wait.
Can I quote you for my article?
483
00:17:59,938 --> 00:18:01,846
No, no-- the point is,
484
00:18:02,002 --> 00:18:04,238
even though it seemed
very real at the time,
485
00:18:04,393 --> 00:18:05,701
I know it wasn't.
486
00:18:05,803 --> 00:18:07,543
Well, that might be because
time is a circle,
487
00:18:07,647 --> 00:18:09,142
but it's also sometimes a line.
488
00:18:09,315 --> 00:18:11,506
See, you're either experiencing
something in the past
489
00:18:11,602 --> 00:18:13,050
that you would have experienced
in the future,
490
00:18:13,210 --> 00:18:15,235
or you're remembering something
that already happened
491
00:18:15,342 --> 00:18:16,814
that you haven't seen yet.
492
00:18:17,218 --> 00:18:19,312
Also, did you know
that you can taste colors?
493
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,308
You guys, I know what I saw.
494
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:26,746
Yeah, well, sometimes our mind
plays tricks on us.
495
00:18:26,845 --> 00:18:27,952
Like one time, I woke up,
496
00:18:28,059 --> 00:18:30,621
and saw an old woman
sitting at the end of my bed.
497
00:18:30,983 --> 00:18:32,030
But you don't hear me
talking about it.
498
00:18:32,215 --> 00:18:34,975
What?
You never told me that.
499
00:18:35,284 --> 00:18:36,387
'Cause there's nothing to tell.
500
00:18:36,495 --> 00:18:39,035
Well, obviously,
there's something to tell.
501
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:40,019
Eh, it was nothing.
502
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:41,677
She was sitting there.
She looked straight at me.
503
00:18:41,778 --> 00:18:43,972
We stared at each other
for a minute. End of story.
504
00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:45,421
What did she look like?
505
00:18:45,853 --> 00:18:46,588
I don't know.
506
00:18:46,683 --> 00:18:48,694
She was wearing an old-timey
robe kind of thing.
507
00:18:48,788 --> 00:18:50,045
But that's not my point.
My point is
508
00:18:50,157 --> 00:18:51,895
that it didn't happen,
and that's--
509
00:18:51,983 --> 00:18:53,806
So, you don't know who it was?
510
00:18:53,964 --> 00:18:54,757
No.
511
00:18:54,831 --> 00:18:57,432
I mean, she looked like
my grandma, but...
512
00:18:57,516 --> 00:18:59,408
- Your grandma?!
- Yeah.
513
00:18:59,489 --> 00:19:01,159
She was wearing
kind of a big pin.
514
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:02,676
A pin?
515
00:19:02,776 --> 00:19:04,066
You mean like the one
in every single picture
516
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:06,114
I have ever seen
of your grandmother?
517
00:19:06,225 --> 00:19:07,532
Did she say anything?
518
00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:09,116
No, just...
519
00:19:09,221 --> 00:19:12,566
Well, she said, uh,
"Everything's gonna be okay,"
520
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,307
- but that was really it.
- Oh, my God!
521
00:19:15,350 --> 00:19:17,619
Now I totally believe
I saw the Santa Maria!
522
00:19:17,883 --> 00:19:19,820
No-- look,
what I'm saying is,
523
00:19:19,924 --> 00:19:22,293
my grandma was probably
just on my mind.
524
00:19:22,481 --> 00:19:24,262
So I was thinking about her.
That's all.
525
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:26,199
Or your dead grandmother
came to see you
526
00:19:26,312 --> 00:19:27,479
in the middle of the night.
527
00:19:27,587 --> 00:19:29,210
Frankie, it never happened.
528
00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:31,206
And you know how I know?
Because she's dead.
529
00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:33,497
It was just my mind
playing tricks on me,
530
00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:35,020
and I don't go around
telling people about it
531
00:19:35,117 --> 00:19:37,097
because it sounds insane.
532
00:19:37,183 --> 00:19:39,299
No, it sounds incredible!
533
00:19:39,598 --> 00:19:43,257
I mean, there are so many
beautiful, amazing things
534
00:19:43,357 --> 00:19:46,464
that happen every day
that sound crazy.
535
00:19:46,711 --> 00:19:47,544
Think about it.
536
00:19:47,659 --> 00:19:49,979
If I had to explain the miracle
of how babies are born
537
00:19:50,076 --> 00:19:53,638
to someone who didn't know,
wouldn't I sound insane?
538
00:19:53,741 --> 00:19:54,655
Yeah, but--
539
00:19:54,737 --> 00:19:55,665
And stars.
540
00:19:55,784 --> 00:19:57,648
I read that
when a star explodes,
541
00:19:57,789 --> 00:20:00,357
the dust they find
is the same thing
542
00:20:00,446 --> 00:20:05,013
that makes up humans, animals,
the entire universe.
543
00:20:05,134 --> 00:20:06,383
How amazing is that?
544
00:20:06,516 --> 00:20:10,448
The same stardust is
in everything and everyone--
545
00:20:10,563 --> 00:20:13,907
me, you,
even Christopher Columbus.
546
00:20:14,021 --> 00:20:15,361
You know, in his day,
547
00:20:15,473 --> 00:20:17,451
some people still thought
the world was flat.
548
00:20:17,563 --> 00:20:20,493
Columbus said it was round,
and people thought he was crazy.
549
00:20:20,707 --> 00:20:22,648
Look, I know there's
always gonna be doubters,
550
00:20:22,767 --> 00:20:24,499
but it just takes someone
who thinks,
551
00:20:24,661 --> 00:20:26,249
"Why can't it be true?"
552
00:20:26,397 --> 00:20:30,248
to truly change the world,
and I am one of those people.
553
00:20:30,461 --> 00:20:34,431
So how can you sit there
on this planet made of stardust
554
00:20:34,527 --> 00:20:36,161
that was once thought
to be flat
555
00:20:36,296 --> 00:20:39,691
and still not think
anything is possible?
556
00:20:40,861 --> 00:20:42,253
Because it isn't.
557
00:20:42,514 --> 00:20:44,157
Now let's go. It's late.
Time for bed.
558
00:20:50,808 --> 00:20:53,912
That night, as everyonedrifted off to sleep,
559
00:20:54,710 --> 00:20:57,791
what Sue had saidwas in all our minds...
560
00:21:00,945 --> 00:21:02,574
...some more than others.
561
00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:24,546
Was it headlights?
562
00:21:25,039 --> 00:21:26,910
The ghost of the Santa Maria?
563
00:21:27,472 --> 00:21:29,563
Or even a little bitof stardust?
564
00:21:30,128 --> 00:21:31,223
Who knows?
565
00:21:32,241 --> 00:21:33,694
Anything is possible.
566
00:21:35,620 --> 00:21:40,450
Sync and corrections by n17t01
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567
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
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568
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569
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