Original subtitles

$250,000.

It's your money.

And I can't show up to collect it.

We won't have to report it.

We can say it came into the country

as a part of the General's oil.

They're the real crooks. They deserve to be conned.

I can't let you up. Direct orders from General Marina.

General Marina?

Watch what you say.

These guys smell a con.

Who is this guy?

PILOT: I can't hold it!

NARRATOR: Dr. David Banner, physician, scientist.

Searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all humans have.

Then, an accidental overdose of gamma radiation alters his body chemistry.

And now, when David Banner grows angry or outraged,

a startling metamorphosis occurs.

(ROARS)

The creature is driven by rage

and pursued by an investigative reporter.

Mr. McGee, don't make me angry.

You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

The creature is wanted for a murder he didn't commit.

David Banner is believed to be dead.

And he must let the world think that he is dead

until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.

(ROARS)

Inside, man. I want that register open.

(ALARM RINGING)

You all right?

Fine, my friend. Thanks to you.

I mean, what do you say to a man who just saved your life?

OFFICER CLARK: Ten-four. Harry!

What happened here?

Oh, there was a...

Little accident with the trashcan.

Hey, don't worry. I'll pay the damages.

Uh-huh.

Okay, I'll notify Tony, have him come down and board up the place.

Good idea.

Thank you.

My heart could use a good stiff belt. Care to join me?

(SIGHS) I could sure use a hot cup of coffee. Yeah.

Coffee, dancing girls, you got it. I'll just lock up.

Oh, sorry. Harry Henderson.

David Becker.

You should have seen the other fella. Not a mark on him.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

You know, my pop said, "Always return a favor with a favor."

Now you saved me from that door-to-door surgeon.

Anything I got is yours.

A cup of coffee is fine, then I'll be on my way.

I don't have a lot of money, but...

Look, it's really not necessary, but thanks.

Hey, don't think of it as charity.

Think of it as a reward, huh? Now take it. For my sake.

Please.

(SIGHS)

Huh?

No, thank you.

You new in town?

Yeah.

No place to stay?

Not yet. No.

Fine. I got a couch, a spare blanket. Be my guest.

Hey, it's the least I can do until you get settled.

Thanks, anyway, but I couldn't.

You looking for work?

Oh, yeah.

You want want ads?

I got want ads from all over the state.

(LAUGHING)

Hey.

We got a deal?

We got a deal.

Oh, hey. Now it's green monsters, huh?

If they can't find a story, they make one up.

Anything to boost sales. Everybody's got a scam.

Harry, I'm gonna go upstairs and have a cup of coffee. I'll be right back, okay?

HARRY: Mmm.

So, what's new, Harry?

You and Tony ever get that broken window squared away?

Hey, don't worry about it. We'll work something out.

We've been neighbors on this block a long time.

Hey, don't remind me.

See, I was pounding this beat 10 years before you got here.

Take it easy.

Forget something, Officer Clark?

You never change, do you Harry?

Hey, if I wasn't honest, you'd be out a fortune.

Uh-huh.

Hey, Harry. What are you doing wasting your time here for, huh,

with a talent like yours?

You know that lasagna you fixed? I took it home to the wife.

She swore it wouldn't match her fettuccini.

You know what? She was wrong.

Anybody that can cook like you

could make a fortune in the restaurant business.

Hey, forget it. I told you.

One month, Harry. I'll have 20 grand.

Enough to get us into that restaurant.

Come on, throw in with me, like we talked about.

I'll make the down payment, you run the restaurant.

Hey, I can't. I was just not cut out for that kind of business, huh?

You'd never convince my wife.

All right. If you ever change your mind, you got a partner.

See you later.

(SNIFFLING)

Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Hey, kid, what's wrong?

I never do anything right. I'm a failure.

I hope Mom will forgive me, if she ever gets well.

Your mom's sick, huh?

Yeah. And her medicine, it's so expensive.

If I only sold this last lottery ticket,

I'd have saved enough to pay the drugstore.

But it's no use now.

(SNIFFLING)

And your father couldn't help, huh?

I mean, he's on the sauce or something, huh?

Dad? Yeah, right.

He just sits home, drinking. Out of work for months.

But it ain't your problem, mister. Forget it.

Mmm.

I guess this is where I'm supposed to dig down and come up with couple of bucks

and save the day, right?

(STAMMERS) Huh? What are you talking about?

HARRY: A scam, that's what,

by a budding young master.

I mean, look at you, kid.

You had the mark going. Your mother's not really sick,

but the con was working.

But it won't work all the time because you can't beat the odds.

One day you're gonna get caught. Now take it from a guy who knows.

And this is what it looks like when you get caught by the wrong guys.

Now the cops, hey, they just throw you in jail.

Now listen, tell me the truth.

What do you get if you sell all these tickets?

A couple of weeks at camp.

But I never thought anybody would...

You never thought anybody would buy that line, right?

(SIGHS)

Hey, David.

You spell your last name, Becker, B-E-C-K-E-R?

That's right. Yeah.

Now, you see? You got me with the truth.

And it's easier than having someone put your hand in a desk drawer

and slamming it shut.

Believe me, huh?

Thanks, mister. You won't be sorry. The drawing is tonight.

The winner gets a quarter of a million.

Okay.

You wouldn't let me give you some bread.

Maybe I can bring you some luck. Who knows?

Ten years old and hooked already.

That hard to quit, huh?

Once you pull your first con,

get a mark in the palm of your hands,

it almost feels too good to stop.

Sounds like you're talking from experience.

Some of them bad.

Souvenir of mine. The world's best con man,

the late, great Harry Henderson.

From all my experience, here's what I got.

Bullets?

.45 caliber.

And the gentleman at the other end of the chopper

called it a lesson in career guidance.

Lottery tickets are just a taste.

The kid's starting penny ante, like me.

Only I did it different.

HARRY: Red ace. Black queen. Black queen.

DAVID: Mmm-hmm. Three-card monte.

It's a short con any kid can pull.

You show the mark the ace, shuffle the cards, the mark picks the ace,

and he's the big winner! Yay!

However, right about here, a pro does the switch.

Caught you. Ah.

Some pro. I lost my touch.

And without it, I ain't even a third-rate con. I ain't nothing.

Oh, hey, take that back. Take that back.

There is one scam I pulled that is still paying off.

Oh, wow, that smells good.

(WHISTLES)

(EXCLAIMS)

Oh, you're making linguini with clam sauce.

When they charge you $10 at a fancy restaurant.

When it's a buck and a quarter at a diner, they call it spaghetti.

Restaurants have been running con games for years.

I used it as a front once, but my scam fell through.

I loved cooking so much, I went bust. But, hey, I learned.

"Marina." Mexican clams packed in oil, not water. That's the secret.

This has gotta simmer. How about some wine?

All right.

But that tastes so good...

Perhaps you went into the wrong business, hmm?

(IN FAKE ITALIAN ACCENT) Hey, when I give up with the conning,

I start selling the newspapers.

And I continue selling newspapers, and continue selling the newspapers.

I didn't plan to.

I suppose you plan to go back into your previous occupation there.

Well, I didn't have any particular scam laid out.

But after...

After sitting in that newspaper stand,

with all that time to think,

I came up with an idea that could've...

But I froze.

And one day I decided, once and for all,

Harry the con was dead. Morto.

Only I blew it. I could've come out on top.

You came out alive.

No, no, no, no. I could've come out in style.

You know, a last grand finale.

You know, just one last time.

Just one?

That's all. That's all.

I'd give my good hand to nail the bigwigs in this town

that come off legit.

They're the real crooks. They deserve to be conned.

I even had a plan.

I'd get a penthouse in the most expensive hotel in this town, the Excalibur.

Nice, real plush. And then...

Hey, forget it.

Never happened.

But I can dream.

Hey.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, we're down to our final two winners.

Our second-place winner in this year's Lone Star Lottery is

(DRUM ROLL)

Y497430!

Mr. Cosmo Segundo Genovese.

Congratulations, Mr. Genovese.

You lucky stiff. That's 50 grand!

Now, for $250,000.

This is the moment that all of Texas has been waiting for.

Oh, man, what I could do with a quarter of a million bucks.

Our big winner is...

M900009!

Congratulations to Mr. David Becker.

M900009.

David!

Hey, that's you. David!

Hey! Hey, David, wake up!

Hmm?

You won. What?

You won it, you won it!

What the hell are you talking about?

Look, you got the ticket? 'Cause you just won a biggie. The big one!

You got the... Get the ticket out, get the ticket out.

They just called your name and your number.

Oh, come on. You just...

Hey, $250,000.

A quarter of a million bucks!

Congratulations to David Becker.

M900009.

A quarter of a million dollars.

It'd buy me a hell of a weekend.

Harry, you don't understand.

It's okay. So you have other plans.

No, I just cannot walk in...

Forget it, David. It's none of my business. It's your money.

And I can't show up to collect it.

Just how hot are you?

(SIGHING)

Hey, it doesn't matter.

I know a couple of fellas who, for the proper consideration,

will show up in your place.

What about you, Harry? What if you went in and collected my money for me?

Oh, no. Oh, no. No, no. I couldn't do it.

I'll give you half of it.

Come on, don't con a con.

I'm not trying to.

Sure. You want me to believe you're willing to pay me...

Half.

$125,000, Harry. Yours.

Oh!

(STAMMERING) I mean, you...

No joke? Uh-uh.

Just for... Uh-huh.

(EXCLAIMS)

You sure know how to make it hard.

Thanks, just the same.

Harry, you don't understand...

No, look!

Waving that kind of money in front of a guy like me

is like locking up an alcoholic in a liquor store over the weekend.

I'm better off the way I am.

I mean, I start thinking the wrong ideas even dreaming about that kind of money.

But you don't have to con anybody for it.

It's legal, legit. It could change your life, Harry.

It could certainly change mine.

Hey, pal, you don't know the old Harry Henderson.

And if it means so much, how can you trust me?

That's simple. I have to.

Oh.

It's a good thing that I signed your name on that stub,

so that the signatures are gonna match when I endorse the check.

'Cause if you're as hot as I think you are, you're gonna want cash.

That's right, I am.

Yes, I am.

HOST: Ladies and gentleman,

welcome to the Lone Star Lottery awards presentation.

(PHONE RINGING)

Our second-place winner of $50,000...

Hello. ... is Cosmo Segundo Genovese.

Yes, this is Dr. Becker.

Accepting for her husband...

Yes, please. I'm interested in the production status

of your superconducting magnetometer.

(MRS. GENO VESE CHATTERING)

Yes. Yeah, well, I appreciate your problems,

but I can't put a freeze on my genetic research for two years.

(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

I see.

And they haven't made their payment yet?

All right, mine would be a cash purchase.

Now suppose I could get the money to you in 72 hours.

Oh, good. Good, that'd be fine.

Now, look. I'm also interested in the model 449C Pulsed Carbon Dioxide laser.

And now, David Becker, here is a certified check for $250,000.

Congratulations.

Uh-huh.

Yes, I understand.

But would your maintenance agreement cover the lab equipment

if I had to extend the lease?

Oh, all right, fine. I'll tell you what, I'll... While the rest of us dream

about what we would do with $250,000... I'll confirm it

All right. Thank you very much. ... let's ask one man who

can now afford more than just dream.

Tell me, Mr. Becker,

what's the first thing you're going to do

with your quarter of a million dollars?

I'll hold it in my hand

and pinch myself to make sure this isn't a dream.

(HOST LAUGHS)

HARRY: I even had a plan.

I'd get a penthouse in the most expensive hotel in this town, the Excalibur.

Nice, plush.

He may not be registered as Harry Henderson.

Then would you please put me through to the penthouse.

Yes, I understand. Thank you.

(SIGHS)

Excuse me, sir. I can't let you up if you're not on this list.

Direct orders from General Marina.

That's the secret.

General Marina?

Your identification. May I see it, please?

If you just call the penthouse and tell him I'm here, I'm sure...

And you are?

David Becker.

It's not here.

But you don't understand. He knows me.

Well, he would have left your name if he had wanted to see you.

I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave, sir.

The General's orders. No visitors without a pass.

I'm sorry.

GUARD: (ON RADIO) Some guy just came through the basement entrance.

Plaid shirt. Probably on your floor by now.

(SCREAMS)

(GRUNTS)

(GROWLS)

MAN: Come on in.

(ROARS)

(ROARS)

(WOMAN SINGING)

(ROARS)

What... What was that?

(GROWLS)

MAN: You call this room service?

NEWSREADER ON RADIO: And another sighting of that green creature

reported in San Antonio last week.

This time at the Excalibur Hotel downtown.

It sounded like a tornado.

Pretty quiet around here usually?

Very quiet.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

(ORDERING STAFF)

I'd like to see the General.

David!

General...

It's okay.

Long time no see.

Yeah, where... It's all right, fellas. An old cellmate.

(CHUCKLING) What are you doing here?

Harry, I just want... How's Chicago?

Orsatti still hanging around?

I want to know where my money is.

Now look, I know what you're thinking, but relax.

In 24 hours I'm gonna double your money.

No. No, no. I just want my share and I want it now.

A hundred and twenty-five thousand. Where is it?

"Where is it?" Are you kidding?

Before I left that TV studio, the IRS was waiting for me.

The IRS? Yeah, Uncle Sam.

They took half, right off the bat.

(SIGHING)

All right, where's my 62.5?

(DOORBELL RINGING)

All right, look. This is not the time or the place, David.

Just hang tight. Will you trust me, please? Harry, this is the time. No.

I'll explain everything. Just wait here. Harry, I just want...

Listen to me... Harry...

General Marina?

S�.

General, I'm Jack McGee. I'm from The National Register.

I'm interviewing guests on the upper floors here concerning the disturbance.

(IN FAKE SPANISH ACCENT) Disturbance in the hotel? Why was I not informed?

I don't think you were directly affected, General.

But the guests below here reported seeing

a large green man.

A green man, Se�or McGee?

Yeah. Yeah, I know it's kind of hard to believe,

but if you could see the damage down there,

you'd think a tank plowed through.

Now, this green man you mentioned, he was driving a tank?

No. No, no, no, of course not. You see...

More of a creature than a man.

He's enormous. Tremendous power.

He's called the Hulk.

Hark? Hulk.

Hull? Hulk.

Hulk.

Close enough, yeah.

I just thought maybe you might have heard something.

He knocked down two walls.

Oh.

A Hulk? He's green?

And with his bare hands, he knocked down two walls?

Yeah, well, I just...

Se�or McGee, do you put this in your newspaper?

(STAMMERING) Okay, forget about that one.

I'm checking on another man, too.

He's a little more average.

About your height, dark hair, slender, middle 30s.

No. I've seen no one like that, green or otherwise.

(BOTH CHUCKLING) Yeah.

Oh, but you know, Se�or McGee,

from the unusual questions you have chosen to ask me,

I now understand how the American media

distorts the good intentions of my country.

It happened first with the discovery of the oil.

(HULL CHATTERING) Ah, but now is no time for discussion.

Important business. Maybe ma�ana.

HULL: General Marina. HARRY: Oh, Se�or Hull.

Por favor.

Gentlemen. Very nice indeed.

HARRY: Se�ores, be seated, por favor.

Deborah, offer these gentlemen some refreshment.

I will return in a minute.

No, thank you, my dear.

Well, well, well, well. Mr. Simpson.

You and all that oil you got tucked away.

A real stockpile, too, I understand.

Up in Oklahoma, isn't it?

The batch you plan to discover when the price goes up.

Oh, I know all about that, too.

But don't worry about a thing. No sweat, no sweat at all.

We go partners on this deal and I won't have to tell a soul.

Well, what do you say?

We won't have to report it. We can keep it a secret just between us.

We can say it came into the country as part of the General's oil

at the new selling price, $15 a barrel. Pure profit.

Now what do you say to that?

All right. Do we have a deal or not?

Harry, I don't wanna sit still. I just want to settle up right now, okay?

They are right out there waiting. If they ever found out...

They won't, they won't. Just give me what is rightfully mine

and I'll get out of here.

We are gonna blow this entire scam, David. What do you mean, "we"?

What do you mean "we"? This is your scam Harry, not mine.

Okay, okay, until you walked in here.

But now, like it or not, we are in this together.

Harry, no. We're not... Harry.

David, give me half hour, tops.

Harry...

Se�ores. I can see you are getting acquainted.

Bueno. But now to business.

What I tell you must be kept in the strictest confidence.

May I have your words on it?

Go get yourself a drink.

Se�ores, hey.

El Presidente Roberto Benito,

proposes to auction our offshore drilling rights.

We modestly estimate their value to be twice the worth

of the North Slope of your Alaska.

This...

Remove this tree.

These rights I speak of will be awarded to the highest bidder.

Perhaps one of you gentlemen will pay such a price.

Why are you offering this to a pair of wildcatters like us?

Why not the big corporations?

It was my recommendation.

One of our concerns is outside labor organization.

We do not like our people to overestimate their own values.

Well, now I've always found the best way to handle any kind of trouble,

head on or back on, is with a.30-06.

You agree with that, don't you, Simpson?

It was because of this particular attitude that I chose you gentlemen.

A small country such as ours would be better served by a small company.

One likely to understand our individual needs.

I am deeply honored that el Presidente accepted the suggestion of a poor soldier

and placed me in charge of this entire program.

The difficulties for one so inexperienced as I have been enormous,

such as the out-of-the-pocket expenses.

HARRY: But gentlemen, do not concern yourselves with my troubles.

I will accept sealed bids at noon tomorrow.

But enough of business for now.

Sientese, por favor. Enjoy some wine.

Some beer, perhaps, from the famous waters of South America, huh?

I'll discuss this with my investors.

I'm sure something equitable can be arranged.

We pay him off now, he's gonna milk us dry for years.

Unless, of course, he runs into a little accident

while he's out there inspecting our rigs.

General? These individual needs you all were talking about,

I was thinking,

why don't we discuss a few of these, you know, private like.

Just sort of smooth the way for my bid.

That sounds suspiciously like a bribe.

No insult intended.

None taken. We are both men of the world.

How much did you have in mind?

Our source check him out?

You have got to be kidding, Daddy. He's that big a wheel?

Well, now we just bribe old Pancho Villa here for 200 grand

and sit back and make us millions.

(LAUGHING)

Oh, and by the way, Daddy, he does want it in cash.

Yes, sir.

Bye.

Those are the bigwigs I told you about,

the guys who deserve to get conned.

Tomorrow they roll in with their bribes, some fast talk, a quick shuffle...

Yeah, until they find out and break your other hand.

But this is a shoo-in.

This is the chance I have dreamed of.

To retire in style.

The last scam, I promise.

Oh, Harry, please, I believed that before.

Harry, you're hooked on the con.

You're running one right now. But don't hustle me. Just give me my share.

David! David! Look at this setup here.

The penthouse, the people I've hired, the equipment, the machines, the cars.

What are you saying?

The money I paid to get the inside info on all those oil millionaires,

to plug into their own computers...

I had to bribe an attach� at the embassy

to verify there even is a General�simo Marina.

There went my share, right off the top.

What about my share? Give it to me now.

Look, everybody knows you need money to make money.

Like an investment!

Harry.

You don't have mine, do you? Do you?

No. Oh, for...

Not here. Not now. But I will.

And not just 62,500, but all your winnings.

David, don't you understand? This is my last chance.

You don't know what you've done.

You'll get all your money. Trust me.

Now, look, I warned you what to expect

if you wave that kind of cash in front of me.

Or were you too blinded by the gold to think, huh?

David, it's not like we're stealing from the poor box.

It's like Robin Hood, you know?

I mean, we take from the rich, we...

I won't do that, okay?

Now, what you said was true. There is no other chance.

Oh, yes. Yes, there is.

Whatever money is left over, I'll take that now, we'll call it even.

(SIGHING)

Looks like this is gonna be a long night.

Talk to me, man.

All you have to do is wait in the coffee shop.

In less than an hour, it's over.

It's over now, Harry. David,

all night I've told you I don't have a dime. Yeah.

You wanna walk out of that door broke, go ahead.

But hang in just once more, and you'll never regret it.

You'll be a rich man.

Harry, I can't spend it in prison.

Now will you please just call it off.

We can sell the equipment and get the money back.

I gotta say it again? It's too late!

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Oh, hell, they're early. Go hide in there.

No, I'm not gonna do that, Harry.

Okay. But watch what you say.

These guys smell a con.

General.

I thought you said this was private, just the two of us.

Who's your friend here?

(IN FAKE SPANISH ACCENT) He's my accountant, Mr. Pillar.

He's like one of the family.

You have your bid?

My bid and the schematics you wanted.

Ah, gracias. I'll just put these in the next room.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Pardon me.

Good afternoon, General. Ah.

Oh, you have your bid?

It's in the case. Ah, gracias.

I'll just put it in the next room for safekeeping.

How much is this one gonna cost you?

Damned to find out, ain't you?

Oh, look at this. What'd I tell you?

Between the two of these, there must be half a million dollars.

And every nickel of it is ours.

It's yours, Harry.

You're still a scam, no matter how you look at it.

Get back, sir, please. I said back!

Your day of judgment has arrived, traitor.

HARRY: I am a friend to the people. Silencio.

We accuse you, General�simo Marina,

of betraying the wishes of our beloved el Presidente.

If you're so official, why don't you show us some papers.

(LAUGHING) Papers?

We don't need no stinking papers.

We accuse you of treason. How do you plead?

Look it's over. Tell them the truth. The truth?

When my consulate informed me that one of our generals

was negotiating with these parasites, that was the truth.

You're wrong. This is crazy! Don't you see what's going on here?

Remove him from my sight!

Look, this is... Come on. Don't you understand that...

(GROANS)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPING)

The tribunal is ready with its verdict.

We find you guilty as charged.

The sentence is death.

No!

Your execution, General�simo, is to take place in this room.

Right now. Don't!

You gentlemen are excused.

(GROWLING)

(HULK ROARS)

What took you so long?

That guy! Who hired him?

Not me!

(ROARS)

What are you doing? Those are blanks! Get in here!

Get up! Get up!

Hey, you! Does this thing have anymore power?

Hey, what's going on?

Who is this guy?

(ROARS)

Can you lift this thing up?

I can't hold it!

(GROWLING)

Do something! Where did he come from?

I can't hold it. We're going down.

(GRUNTING)

The engine's burning up! Everybody out!

(ROARS)

Buckle's jammed! Help me!

PILOT: It's gonna blow! Let's get out of here.

Hey, get back here. The buckle's jammed! Help me!

HARRY: I can't breathe.

(HARRY COUGHING)

Wait! Wait! The money!

Oh, no. Look what you've done.

All that money.

I'll never be able to explain this to David.

HARRY: You're right, you're right, you're right,

I had no business even dreaming about that money.

Goodbye, Harry. Yeah, but wait a minute, wait a minute.

But this new plan I got, this is really good. Oh, Harry...

No, no, no, it's all worked out. This is legit.

Hey, wait a minute. It's legit.

I did it this morning when we made the down payment.

We?

Yeah, just between us, I threw in with a cop.

Officer Clark. His cash, my cooking. It's a restaurant.

It's got a great name.

The Last Scam? Really, Harry?

Really. Read the price of linguini.

Hey, 4.95.

Hey, it's 10 bucks up the block.

My partner will keep me honest.

(SIGHING)

I wish you were coming in with us.

It's the only way I could ever repay you.

Harry, I wish I could stay. I can't, I really have to move on.

But if I'm ever through town again...

You got it. A meal on the house. Forever!

Goodbye, Harry. Bye-bye.

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