Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,323 --> 00:00:04,923
Previously, on "The Increasingly
Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret."
2
00:00:04,933 --> 00:00:06,592
This is our very last can.
3
00:00:07,061 --> 00:00:08,925
Todd Margaret: I'm from
the Death Wish Foundation,
4
00:00:08,935 --> 00:00:10,362
and we make dreams come true
5
00:00:10,372 --> 00:00:12,411
for dying, retarded women.
6
00:00:12,421 --> 00:00:14,693
Dave: And, you know, where you
spent your summers in Leeds?
7
00:00:14,703 --> 00:00:15,703
Yeah.
8
00:00:16,235 --> 00:00:17,673
You lived in a hospital.
9
00:00:17,683 --> 00:00:20,485
Hudson: Hello-- I'm Hudson.
Well, I'm from Canada actually.
10
00:00:20,495 --> 00:00:21,995
I'm just working in Leeds.
11
00:00:22,005 --> 00:00:24,155
I just popped down to see Alice.
12
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:39,896
I'm not so sure This
is a good idea, guys.
13
00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:42,683
" How The Liver and The Salad Conspired to Ruin Todd's Good Deed "
Original Air Date on January 20, 2012 [S02E03]
14
00:00:42,693 --> 00:00:44,731
== sync and corrected by Lisina ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
15
00:00:44,741 --> 00:00:47,439
Oh, this must bring back
a lot of memories, eh?
16
00:00:47,449 --> 00:00:51,615
Young Todd Margaret playing around with
his mates In the old oncology ward.
17
00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:53,818
Can we please just get
me back to bed, Dave?
18
00:00:53,828 --> 00:00:55,956
My ass anesthetic is
startin' to wear off.
19
00:00:55,966 --> 00:00:58,068
Oh, come on-- I wanna
see where you grew up.
20
00:00:58,078 --> 00:01:00,094
Okay, look, Dave-- all right.
21
00:01:00,191 --> 00:01:01,699
I'm gonna be honest with you. All right?
22
00:01:01,768 --> 00:01:04,383
Let you in on a little secret.
23
00:01:04,393 --> 00:01:07,007
Um, you know, I said I grew up in Leeds.
24
00:01:07,017 --> 00:01:08,001
Oh, and it's a good job
25
00:01:08,011 --> 00:01:08,939
you did-- you know, when
26
00:01:08,949 --> 00:01:11,367
I told my uncle about how
you were born in Leeds,
27
00:01:11,377 --> 00:01:15,520
spent your summers here, in this hospital,
well, we couldn't make that deal soon enough.
28
00:01:15,749 --> 00:01:16,749
Look--
29
00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:18,709
R-really?
30
00:01:18,825 --> 00:01:19,924
Yeah-- you got it!
31
00:01:20,454 --> 00:01:21,959
Oh, my god-- that's great!
32
00:01:22,028 --> 00:01:23,028
Oh, man!
33
00:01:23,362 --> 00:01:25,117
Oh, Wilts is gonna be so psyched.
34
00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:26,732
Me, too-- I'm gonna be psyched.
35
00:01:26,742 --> 00:01:29,266
Oh, yeah, they were all beaming
with local Leeds pride.
36
00:01:29,276 --> 00:01:30,800
"One of their own," they kept saying.
37
00:01:30,810 --> 00:01:32,711
"Better be-- one of our own."
38
00:01:32,721 --> 00:01:35,669
Anyway, I'm sorry. You were supposed
to tell me A secret about something.
39
00:01:35,679 --> 00:01:40,388
Oh, uh, just, uh, that over there
is where I got my first hand job.
40
00:01:41,344 --> 00:01:44,036
Oh-- I'm not sure that
really counts, Todd.
41
00:01:45,064 --> 00:01:47,326
Anyway, let's get you back
and drugged up, shall we?
42
00:01:50,806 --> 00:01:52,644
Uh, left.
43
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:53,830
Left it is.
44
00:01:56,201 --> 00:01:58,266
Oh-- well, this isn't it.
45
00:01:58,276 --> 00:01:59,336
Uh, no.
46
00:01:59,346 --> 00:02:01,497
This is the kitchen, obviously.
47
00:02:01,507 --> 00:02:02,662
I just wanted to show you this.
48
00:02:02,672 --> 00:02:04,597
Doesn't look much like
a kitchen, either.
49
00:02:04,607 --> 00:02:07,439
Well, it is. There-there's the blender,
50
00:02:07,449 --> 00:02:10,073
and there's the food gurney,
and the fridge-- come on.
51
00:02:10,083 --> 00:02:11,567
You've seen one kitchen--
You've seen 'em all.
52
00:02:11,577 --> 00:02:12,427
Come on-- we gotta go.
53
00:02:12,437 --> 00:02:13,872
Oh, I'm just gonna grab a cold drink.
54
00:02:13,882 --> 00:02:16,504
Oh, well, there's probably not
drinks in there 'cause it's, uh--
55
00:02:16,514 --> 00:02:19,195
Oh, dr. Spensen.
56
00:02:19,758 --> 00:02:21,079
His lunchbox, I presume.
57
00:02:21,089 --> 00:02:22,619
Yeah-- it's just staff lunch.
58
00:02:22,629 --> 00:02:25,741
Keeps it in here-- you know,
just, yeah, deli meats,
59
00:02:25,751 --> 00:02:28,697
that kinda thing,
just sort of, uh-- oh, god!
60
00:02:28,707 --> 00:02:31,129
Oh, god-- oh, god! Oh, no-- no!
61
00:02:31,139 --> 00:02:32,182
Oh, god!
62
00:02:32,192 --> 00:02:35,176
Okay. Well, pick this up
'cause this is important.
63
00:02:35,244 --> 00:02:36,244
Oh, that's--
64
00:02:36,254 --> 00:02:37,346
oh, oh!
65
00:02:37,356 --> 00:02:38,835
No, wait-- oh, god!
66
00:02:38,845 --> 00:02:39,575
Ah!
67
00:02:39,585 --> 00:02:41,744
Oh, it's a wriggly,
little thing, isn't it?
68
00:02:41,754 --> 00:02:43,334
I know-- it's not-- it's--
69
00:02:43,344 --> 00:02:44,667
Usually, it's barbecued.
70
00:02:44,677 --> 00:02:46,041
Okay, come on.
71
00:02:46,051 --> 00:02:47,873
Get in there-- get in!
72
00:02:47,883 --> 00:02:49,182
Get in!
73
00:02:53,921 --> 00:02:55,419
Alice Bell: Oh, for god sake!
74
00:02:55,429 --> 00:02:57,356
Oh, please? Call me Todd-- yes.
75
00:02:57,366 --> 00:02:58,826
It-it's called role-playing.
76
00:02:58,836 --> 00:03:01,180
It's-it's like Dr. Kirchenbaum said.
77
00:03:01,190 --> 00:03:03,367
I thought you said his
doctor's name was Palmer.
78
00:03:03,377 --> 00:03:05,707
Well, yeah-- that was one
of his doctors, but it was
79
00:03:05,717 --> 00:03:08,712
Dr. Kirchenbaum, he was the
one that discovered that
80
00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:12,618
Todd, uh, well, he had this
acute case of, uh, penis envy.
81
00:03:12,628 --> 00:03:13,316
What?
82
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:16,956
Todd was bitterly jealous of
his imaginary friend's penis.
83
00:03:16,966 --> 00:03:20,149
And to be quite fair,
it-it was very big.
84
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,873
Okay-- where's this taxi?
I'm gonna be late for my train.
85
00:03:23,883 --> 00:03:26,163
I wish you could see what
Todd's mother and I see in him.
86
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:29,238
I mean, the qualities that made
us adopt him in the first place.
87
00:03:29,248 --> 00:03:33,816
If you could see those, then I'm just
really sure you'd give it another shot.
88
00:03:35,077 --> 00:03:37,685
There is no "another shot."
89
00:03:37,754 --> 00:03:39,619
There was never a shot to begin with.
90
00:03:39,629 --> 00:03:43,530
Ju-- Todd means well,
but I just-- I'm not interested.
91
00:03:43,540 --> 00:03:44,893
I'm sorry.
92
00:03:44,961 --> 00:03:47,790
My dad is gonna be so upset.
93
00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:50,799
I just don't even know
what I'm gonna say to him.
94
00:03:51,485 --> 00:03:53,357
No, but that's my taxi.
95
00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,367
What?
96
00:03:55,382 --> 00:03:56,632
Todd's adopted?
97
00:03:59,487 --> 00:04:00,490
Whew-- finally.
98
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,610
I feel like I could
sleep for three days.
99
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,076
Again, excuse me.
100
00:04:05,317 --> 00:04:07,069
How long before the
morphine takes effect?
101
00:04:07,079 --> 00:04:08,079
Now.
102
00:04:08,844 --> 00:04:11,694
That was dropped off for mr.
Margaret earlier.
103
00:04:13,179 --> 00:04:14,179
Oh, yeah.
104
00:04:15,902 --> 00:04:18,079
How ya feeling, Todd?
105
00:04:18,089 --> 00:04:20,498
Good-good-good.
106
00:04:20,567 --> 00:04:22,767
Uh, I miss butterscotch.
107
00:04:22,836 --> 00:04:26,693
Aw-- hey, boss, your buddy Hudson,
he sent you a bear.
108
00:04:26,703 --> 00:04:29,797
Ugh-- Hudson? That guy? He's Alice's ex.
109
00:04:29,807 --> 00:04:33,445
He's still trying to get with her,
but she's just friend.
110
00:04:33,514 --> 00:04:38,243
Yeah-- her tits are fine.
I don't know what I was thinking-- wait.
111
00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:39,889
He's here?
112
00:04:39,899 --> 00:04:42,048
Hey, Todd-- look at me.
I'm a talking bear.
113
00:04:42,058 --> 00:04:43,058
Hudson?
114
00:04:44,357 --> 00:04:47,035
I heard you got creamed
at a rugby game-- ouch!
115
00:04:47,045 --> 00:04:48,378
Sorry I couldn't visit you--
116
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,265
How did you be a bear?
117
00:04:50,275 --> 00:04:51,438
It's crazy news.
118
00:04:51,448 --> 00:04:53,385
Alice got a job at La Molecule.
119
00:04:53,395 --> 00:04:55,715
Yeah, meeting her there tonight.
120
00:04:55,725 --> 00:04:58,630
She wants to thank me,
If you know what I mean.
121
00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:02,239
I think she thinks I had
something to do with it.
122
00:05:02,249 --> 00:05:04,874
- What?
- Anyway, feel better.
123
00:05:04,884 --> 00:05:06,780
- I don't know how long these things go.
- What did you say?
124
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:09,168
Look at me. I'm a talking bear.
125
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:10,435
Sorry I couldn't visit you--
126
00:05:10,445 --> 00:05:12,523
No, not that part, after that.
127
00:05:12,533 --> 00:05:15,503
It's crazy news.
Alice got a job at La Molecule.
128
00:05:15,513 --> 00:05:18,689
Yeah, I know. I got her that job.
129
00:05:18,757 --> 00:05:20,835
She wants to thank me,
if you know what I mean.
130
00:05:20,845 --> 00:05:23,028
- No-- this isn't fair.
- I think she thinks I had something to do with it.
131
00:05:23,038 --> 00:05:24,538
This is like a reverse "Othello."
132
00:05:24,548 --> 00:05:26,984
He's stealing her with lies, my lies.
133
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,341
Anyway, feel better. I don't
know how long these things go.
134
00:05:28,351 --> 00:05:31,491
- What are you doing?
- Huh? I have to get back to the La Molecule.
135
00:05:31,501 --> 00:05:33,451
I have to go back to London.
136
00:05:33,461 --> 00:05:35,408
No, you don't! No-- Dave!
137
00:05:35,695 --> 00:05:37,213
Dave, go get the truck.
138
00:05:37,223 --> 00:05:38,105
I gotta break out of here.
139
00:05:38,115 --> 00:05:40,507
Break out? You can just
discharge yourself.
140
00:05:40,517 --> 00:05:41,896
Okay.
141
00:05:42,585 --> 00:05:44,184
No-no-no, Todd.
142
00:05:44,253 --> 00:05:46,372
I mean you can sign
out at the front desk.
143
00:05:46,382 --> 00:05:47,855
Okay, yeah-yeah.
144
00:05:47,924 --> 00:05:50,037
Just go get the truck.
I'll meet you out in five.
145
00:05:50,047 --> 00:05:50,936
All right.
146
00:05:50,946 --> 00:05:52,446
Don't forget your morphine.
147
00:05:52,456 --> 00:05:53,499
Yes, the morphine.
148
00:05:53,509 --> 00:05:55,229
Hey, Todd, look at me.
149
00:05:55,298 --> 00:05:57,198
I'm a talking bear.
150
00:05:57,267 --> 00:06:02,267
Hey, Hudson bear, can I
talk to you for one second?
151
00:06:02,580 --> 00:06:03,971
Sorry I couldn't visit you.
152
00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:05,858
I have to go back to London.
153
00:06:06,188 --> 00:06:10,872
Todd, Alice-- want me.
154
00:06:10,882 --> 00:06:12,899
Uh, you sleep with jesus bear, now.
155
00:06:18,192 --> 00:06:19,501
Hi-- uh, Todd Margaret
156
00:06:19,511 --> 00:06:21,960
checking out of room one
I was in-- um, also,
157
00:06:21,970 --> 00:06:23,719
I ordered Salisbury steak,
158
00:06:23,729 --> 00:06:25,365
and I didn't order potatoes,
159
00:06:25,375 --> 00:06:27,180
but it came with potatoes,
160
00:06:27,190 --> 00:06:28,649
so I didn't want the potatoes.
161
00:06:28,659 --> 00:06:29,974
Can get that off the bill, please?
162
00:06:29,984 --> 00:06:32,204
So then, I'll just
need your credit card.
163
00:06:32,214 --> 00:06:34,805
Yeah-- uh, how much are
we talking, you think?
164
00:06:34,815 --> 00:06:36,114
I have to check.
165
00:06:36,124 --> 00:06:37,560
Thousands of pounds.
166
00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:38,484
What?
167
00:06:38,494 --> 00:06:40,039
How many thousands?
168
00:06:40,049 --> 00:06:40,862
One thousands?
169
00:06:40,872 --> 00:06:44,459
You were in intensive care
in a coma for three days.
170
00:06:45,246 --> 00:06:46,546
Really?
171
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:48,219
I don't remember any of that.
172
00:06:48,229 --> 00:06:52,089
Your liability is most likely to
be in the hundreds of thousands.
173
00:06:52,099 --> 00:06:53,786
Wait, okay-- I'm-I'm sorry.
174
00:06:53,854 --> 00:06:57,502
I thought, um, healthcare was free
in this country, no matter what.
175
00:06:57,512 --> 00:07:00,685
That's how Obama's trying to fuck
us over and have that in America.
176
00:07:00,695 --> 00:07:02,195
Healthcare is free,
177
00:07:02,205 --> 00:07:03,737
if you're born here.
178
00:07:04,066 --> 00:07:06,490
Well, that's racist.
179
00:07:08,602 --> 00:07:11,427
Can I get that credit card, please?
180
00:07:11,564 --> 00:07:13,603
No-- uh, it's, uh,
this is not my good card.
181
00:07:13,613 --> 00:07:16,654
My good card is in my pants in
the room. I left it in the room.
182
00:07:16,664 --> 00:07:19,062
Call the maid. Tell 'em not to
clean up, and I'll go get--
183
00:07:19,072 --> 00:07:23,975
I'll have to go get, Um, let me
go get to, Uh, uh, my room, okay?
184
00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,638
I have to get my other pants.
185
00:07:25,648 --> 00:07:28,744
And then, um, then I'll
come right back, okay?
186
00:07:28,754 --> 00:07:32,791
It's downstairs. I just gotta go
downstairs. I'm going downstairs.
187
00:07:42,586 --> 00:07:43,793
What do you mean, it's gone missing?
188
00:07:43,803 --> 00:07:47,795
It's the only compatible liver we found--
that or Professor Spensen will die.
189
00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:49,611
Check the security tapes.
190
00:07:49,621 --> 00:07:53,011
Just have to get these to dr. House.
191
00:07:54,481 --> 00:07:56,521
Is mr. Margaret still here?
192
00:07:57,465 --> 00:08:01,802
Turns out, he is on the system.
Just weren't looking back far enough.
193
00:08:03,770 --> 00:08:05,402
Drive, drive!
194
00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:12,010
I gotta-I gotta get this
Thunder Muscle to...
195
00:08:23,728 --> 00:08:24,728
So, let's finish.
196
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,780
We've got the frozen Tiger Palm Valuta
197
00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:31,230
on an invisible spoon, uh,
made of pure nitrogen.
198
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,161
Yeah.
199
00:08:32,171 --> 00:08:33,787
Okay-- I'll have to call you back.
200
00:08:33,855 --> 00:08:36,856
- What?
- Chef, uh, Death Wish Foundation woman's here.
201
00:08:36,925 --> 00:08:37,925
Already?
202
00:08:38,119 --> 00:08:39,571
Oh, god-- she got one
203
00:08:39,581 --> 00:08:41,571
of those really big heads?
204
00:08:41,581 --> 00:08:44,479
- No-- she looks kinda normal.
- Let's have a look.
205
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:48,401
I'm so nervous.
206
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,075
You know what I'm like with sick people.
207
00:08:51,085 --> 00:08:52,405
I don't wanna talk to her.
208
00:08:52,473 --> 00:08:54,474
She's only got two days to live.
209
00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:57,010
Well, I can't stay in
here for two days, can I?
210
00:08:57,622 --> 00:09:00,425
Oh, you meant-- right-- yeah.
211
00:09:06,810 --> 00:09:08,055
Alice: Oh!
212
00:09:08,065 --> 00:09:09,091
Uh, oh.
213
00:09:09,101 --> 00:09:10,264
Hello, Alice.
214
00:09:10,274 --> 00:09:11,726
Oh, my god!
215
00:09:12,144 --> 00:09:14,501
Oh, it's such an honor to meet you.
216
00:09:14,511 --> 00:09:16,895
Oh, uh, um, you're my hero.
217
00:09:16,964 --> 00:09:19,463
It's a dweam come tue to wook here.
218
00:09:19,473 --> 00:09:20,531
You know what?
219
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:21,766
I'm-I'm sorry-- I--
220
00:09:21,835 --> 00:09:23,901
Oh, no-- no, I tasted,
221
00:09:23,969 --> 00:09:27,174
um, the sauce, uh, delitous.
222
00:09:27,184 --> 00:09:28,901
Oh, good for you.
223
00:09:28,911 --> 00:09:31,242
You got the bus here
by yourself, did you?
224
00:09:31,311 --> 00:09:33,484
Oh, Alice got the bus
here all by herself.
225
00:09:33,494 --> 00:09:36,777
Uh, no-- um, no.
226
00:09:37,178 --> 00:09:40,244
Um, it's the-the sauce.
It's just-- it's delicious.
227
00:09:41,012 --> 00:09:43,309
Um, I got the train.
228
00:09:44,546 --> 00:09:45,746
You all right?
229
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,060
It comes and goes, does it?
230
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:49,822
What-what-- sorry, what does?
231
00:09:49,832 --> 00:09:54,494
Nothing-- we are so happy
232
00:09:54,504 --> 00:09:56,330
to have you here today.
233
00:09:56,340 --> 00:09:58,760
Oh, how did you find out about me?
234
00:09:58,770 --> 00:10:00,605
Was it my essay on
twelve tasty electrons?
235
00:10:00,615 --> 00:10:02,274
We met someone who wanted to
236
00:10:02,342 --> 00:10:05,471
remain anonymous and he told us
237
00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:08,150
what a brilliant, little chef you are.
238
00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,307
I knew it was Hudson.
239
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:14,317
He didn't want to give his name,
but he-he's bald. He's-- nice suit, american.
240
00:10:14,355 --> 00:10:17,364
Yeah-yeah. No, that's-that's him.
And he's canadian, actually.
241
00:10:17,374 --> 00:10:18,866
And you left out gorgeous.
242
00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:20,850
I did leave that out, yes.
243
00:10:22,243 --> 00:10:24,951
Oh, I suppose he's, you know,
he's not everyone's type.
244
00:10:24,961 --> 00:10:27,214
Well, he's definitely not mine.
245
00:10:28,098 --> 00:10:29,533
Um...
246
00:10:30,291 --> 00:10:32,169
Oh, don't listen to me.
247
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:34,376
I'm old fashioned.
248
00:10:34,386 --> 00:10:36,191
Um, let's-let's get started.
249
00:10:36,201 --> 00:10:38,175
Great-- um, well, I, um,
250
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:42,724
I wanted to start with the
demagnetized souffle. I, um--
251
00:10:42,734 --> 00:10:45,206
Oh, no, sweetheart. Aren't you precious?
252
00:10:45,216 --> 00:10:50,216
Um, no souffle. We are going to
make something way more fun.
253
00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:53,182
Oh.
254
00:10:53,192 --> 00:10:55,008
A side salad.
255
00:10:55,018 --> 00:10:56,220
Oh.
256
00:10:56,230 --> 00:10:58,806
Brent Wilts: We have to
cover that and that,
257
00:10:58,816 --> 00:11:00,493
but we've already been there.
258
00:11:00,503 --> 00:11:03,465
So, this-- we have to
cover that and that.
259
00:11:03,475 --> 00:11:04,903
Doug Whitney: Ah, you know what?
260
00:11:04,971 --> 00:11:07,172
Suddenly Sherlock messed
up my snuff order.
261
00:11:07,241 --> 00:11:09,512
I'm taking all my business to
Holmes depot from here on.
262
00:11:09,522 --> 00:11:10,468
You know what?
263
00:11:10,478 --> 00:11:13,068
If this connects to this,
264
00:11:13,078 --> 00:11:15,684
then voila-- right?
265
00:11:15,694 --> 00:11:17,249
What did you do?
266
00:11:17,483 --> 00:11:19,229
That-that's-- don't touch my mind map!
267
00:11:19,239 --> 00:11:21,744
Did your dad fuck a calculator
to get you or what?
268
00:11:21,754 --> 00:11:22,547
I mean, come on.
269
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,037
We've been staring at this thing for
days and still, we're getting nowhere.
270
00:11:25,047 --> 00:11:26,615
I'm calling Todd Margaret, again.
271
00:11:29,072 --> 00:11:30,446
Dave: Todd Margaret's phone.
272
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,004
Finally, Todd-- jesus!
273
00:11:32,014 --> 00:11:34,010
By the way, you sound gayer than usual.
274
00:11:34,020 --> 00:11:36,466
It's Dave, Todd's director of strategy.
275
00:11:36,476 --> 00:11:38,162
Todd's just having a
little kip at the moment.
276
00:11:38,172 --> 00:11:41,086
Whatever the fuck that is.
All right-- tell him to call mr. Wilts.
277
00:11:41,096 --> 00:11:41,945
Willips?
278
00:11:41,955 --> 00:11:45,904
No, Wilts, and tell him we're having
trouble finding this Mountford guy.
279
00:11:47,189 --> 00:11:48,755
Mountford?
280
00:11:48,765 --> 00:11:52,230
Uh, well, maybe I could be of some help--
have you got a mobile number for him?
281
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,537
No, not a current one.
He keeps changing it.
282
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,521
Oh, that's too bad.
283
00:11:56,531 --> 00:12:01,531
See, if you did, I would've been able to use my
mobile Trace Tracker 3,000 to track the call.
284
00:12:02,024 --> 00:12:05,465
But, uh, since you don't, uh,
why don't you try looking at the census?
285
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:08,325
That should have the addresses
of all the Mountfords in London.
286
00:12:08,335 --> 00:12:09,763
You got an initial for him?
287
00:12:09,773 --> 00:12:12,146
- Yeah, a "d."
- A "d."
288
00:12:12,156 --> 00:12:13,969
Yeah, just go online.
289
00:12:13,979 --> 00:12:16,628
It's www. Census. Gov. Co. Uk.
290
00:12:16,788 --> 00:12:18,103
Great, thank you.
291
00:12:18,113 --> 00:12:19,850
- Hey, that's my shirt.
- Don't worry about it.
292
00:12:19,860 --> 00:12:21,475
You got another shirt in the toilet.
293
00:12:21,485 --> 00:12:23,451
Oh, and, uh, make sure to take a gift.
294
00:12:23,461 --> 00:12:24,504
A gift?
295
00:12:24,514 --> 00:12:27,565
Yeah, uh, it's seen as polite
in the UK to take a gift
296
00:12:27,575 --> 00:12:30,118
whenever conducting an
investigation-- nothing
297
00:12:30,128 --> 00:12:31,708
major-- just a phone charger,
298
00:12:31,718 --> 00:12:36,718
like a, uh, a Tomsung
32-7-eg phone charger.
299
00:12:37,310 --> 00:12:38,897
Hey, yeah-- this is great.
300
00:12:39,429 --> 00:12:42,797
Hey, listen-- can you tell, uh, Todd
Margaret to get on the line for a second?
301
00:12:42,807 --> 00:12:44,821
Uh, Todd, it's Wilts.
302
00:12:47,181 --> 00:12:48,659
Todd: Hey, mr. Wilts.
303
00:12:48,669 --> 00:12:52,272
Hey, Todd-- where'd you
find this Dave guy?
304
00:12:52,282 --> 00:12:53,880
He's a genius.
305
00:12:53,949 --> 00:12:56,153
Wait second. I thought you hired him.
306
00:12:56,163 --> 00:12:59,188
Uh, shouldn't you tell Mr.
Wilts about that big deal you just made?
307
00:12:59,198 --> 00:13:02,324
Oh, yeah. Hey,
Brent Wilts, awesome news!
308
00:13:02,468 --> 00:13:03,810
I made the deal.
309
00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:05,769
What-- you got the money?
310
00:13:05,779 --> 00:13:08,303
Oh, my god! That is
fucking fantastic, Todd!
311
00:13:08,313 --> 00:13:09,001
Jesus-- yes!
312
00:13:09,011 --> 00:13:11,577
This is great news-- I really
needed to hear this, Todd.
313
00:13:11,587 --> 00:13:12,830
Yeah, yeah.
314
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:17,966
I mean, I don't have the money, uh,
right on me, but I-I'll have it in five days.
315
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,646
Five days? Five days?
316
00:13:20,656 --> 00:13:23,402
I need it in four days.
Can we get it in four days?
317
00:13:23,412 --> 00:13:25,440
Uh, can we get it in four days?
318
00:13:26,051 --> 00:13:27,376
Nnn.
319
00:13:27,386 --> 00:13:28,983
Fucking typical brits.
320
00:13:29,357 --> 00:13:31,863
All right-- tell Dave that I
need him in London, right now,
321
00:13:31,873 --> 00:13:35,723
and to bring his a-game. I need him on
this fucking Mountford thing, all right?
322
00:13:36,497 --> 00:13:39,191
All right. Looks like we found
ourselves a real Sherlock here.
323
00:13:39,201 --> 00:13:40,235
Excuse me?
324
00:13:40,245 --> 00:13:42,298
We need to find an internet cafe.
325
00:13:42,308 --> 00:13:44,849
Time to queer up, Sherlock shitpipe.
326
00:13:46,978 --> 00:13:48,319
Drive back to London?
327
00:13:48,329 --> 00:13:51,385
Yes-- you really impressed mr.
Wilts back there,
328
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:54,148
and I've decided to send
you back there to help him.
329
00:13:54,158 --> 00:13:56,264
But I'm gonna need the truck, though.
330
00:13:56,274 --> 00:13:58,044
How am I supposed to get back?
331
00:13:58,054 --> 00:13:59,899
You know what?
332
00:13:59,909 --> 00:14:01,321
Take my morphine.
333
00:14:01,331 --> 00:14:02,317
Ah!
334
00:14:02,327 --> 00:14:03,720
Ow!
335
00:14:03,730 --> 00:14:06,030
It'll make the walk go like nothin'.
336
00:14:11,494 --> 00:14:13,530
I'm going to need the helicopter.
337
00:14:21,782 --> 00:14:23,346
Well done, Alice.
338
00:14:23,356 --> 00:14:27,332
You took the lettuce out of the bowl
and put it on the plate perfectly.
339
00:14:27,342 --> 00:14:28,569
Alice: Yeah, it was a real challenge.
340
00:14:28,579 --> 00:14:29,979
Yeah-- you did it.
341
00:14:30,899 --> 00:14:33,823
I soldered a dressing, though-- it's
an homage to your micro visible
342
00:14:33,833 --> 00:14:36,760
sweat resistant blood
orange polyroot crumble.
343
00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:38,920
I'd love to know what you think.
344
00:14:40,192 --> 00:14:43,301
Mmm-- very, very good.
345
00:14:43,311 --> 00:14:46,459
Wait, but you didn't even taste it.
346
00:14:53,896 --> 00:14:55,807
What-- wow!
347
00:14:55,817 --> 00:14:59,303
That's-that's really,
really good-- fantastic.
348
00:14:59,313 --> 00:15:01,620
Yeah? Not too much petroleum?
349
00:15:01,630 --> 00:15:02,922
On the contrary.
350
00:15:02,991 --> 00:15:06,158
That's absolutely delicious.
351
00:15:06,227 --> 00:15:10,295
I-I wish I could hire you, But--
352
00:15:10,364 --> 00:15:14,198
No, just, you know, the-the fact that
you'd even think of hiring someone
353
00:15:14,267 --> 00:15:18,289
like me, it's-- if I could work here
for one day, I would die a happy woman.
354
00:15:18,299 --> 00:15:19,366
You're hired.
355
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:21,928
Really-- are you serious?
356
00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:25,697
- When-when do I start?
- Tomorrow, first thing.
357
00:15:29,591 --> 00:15:32,060
I'm so happy!
358
00:15:32,070 --> 00:15:34,582
Mmm.
359
00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:39,354
Thank you.
360
00:15:44,961 --> 00:15:46,995
Oh!
361
00:15:52,768 --> 00:15:54,471
I told you she was great.
362
00:15:54,481 --> 00:15:55,643
You're welcome.
363
00:15:55,653 --> 00:15:58,776
But you know all that stuff
about remaining anonymous?
364
00:15:58,888 --> 00:15:59,957
Don't worry about it.
365
00:15:59,967 --> 00:16:04,967
You can totally mention my name a lot, except don't
mention the her dying thing or the death wish thing.
366
00:16:06,470 --> 00:16:07,817
And also--
367
00:16:08,227 --> 00:16:09,368
Are you all right?
368
00:16:09,378 --> 00:16:11,963
She shows a lot of promise, that one.
369
00:16:12,658 --> 00:16:16,500
What if, against all odds,
she miraculously confounded
370
00:16:16,510 --> 00:16:21,489
medical science and actually
beat this goddamn retardation
371
00:16:21,499 --> 00:16:23,633
disease that's killing her?
372
00:16:23,701 --> 00:16:26,841
I mean, she has a job, now,
so she's got something to live for.
373
00:16:26,851 --> 00:16:28,735
Well, that's not gonna happen, is it?
374
00:16:28,745 --> 00:16:31,714
But what if it did?
Think of the publicity coup.
375
00:16:31,826 --> 00:16:32,826
Oh!
376
00:16:33,465 --> 00:16:35,264
Don't do this.
377
00:16:35,866 --> 00:16:38,160
Don't let hope back into your heart.
378
00:16:38,170 --> 00:16:40,056
Okay, I-- oh!
379
00:16:41,285 --> 00:16:42,285
Oh!
380
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,100
Hey.
381
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:44,110
Hudson!
382
00:16:46,823 --> 00:16:47,823
Hudson: Hey, Alice.
383
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:48,995
Hi-- how are you?
384
00:16:49,005 --> 00:16:51,244
Good-- how you doing?
385
00:16:51,254 --> 00:16:52,971
I'm great, I'm great.
386
00:16:53,799 --> 00:16:56,868
Man, this is so not fair.
387
00:16:57,446 --> 00:16:59,557
Do you want me to tell her it was you?
388
00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:02,926
Yeah-- just go because
389
00:17:03,609 --> 00:17:05,101
that-- no, don't.
390
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:08,530
I mean, yes-- what if...
391
00:17:10,386 --> 00:17:12,426
She looks so happy.
392
00:17:12,436 --> 00:17:15,223
I don't wanna take that away from her.
393
00:17:15,233 --> 00:17:16,749
No, don't.
394
00:17:23,111 --> 00:17:25,595
Can I, uh, get the keys to my truck.
395
00:17:25,664 --> 00:17:30,033
Uh, well, you can have the keys to my truck,
and I'll help you unload the thunder muscle,
396
00:17:30,043 --> 00:17:32,529
but, uh, you can't have the whole truck.
397
00:17:32,539 --> 00:17:34,450
That's not the deal we made.
398
00:17:34,460 --> 00:17:37,232
I let your sick friend work
here for the rest of her life,
399
00:17:37,242 --> 00:17:38,791
and you give me, and I quote,
400
00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,609
"a truck full of Thunder Muscle."
401
00:17:40,619 --> 00:17:42,513
No-no-no-no-no-no-no.
402
00:17:42,523 --> 00:17:44,832
I said, "a truck-full
of thunder muscle,"
403
00:17:44,842 --> 00:17:47,393
Not "truck," comma, new word, "full."
404
00:17:47,403 --> 00:17:49,690
No, it's truck-dash-full,
405
00:17:50,365 --> 00:17:51,619
truck-full.
406
00:17:51,688 --> 00:17:53,572
Hmm-- no, truck, full.
407
00:17:53,582 --> 00:17:54,993
Hmm-- truck-full.
408
00:17:55,003 --> 00:18:00,003
If you go back on your word, I'll go out there, tell her
you're here and that she's only got two days to live.
409
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:08,900
[ music ]
410
00:18:18,153 --> 00:18:20,476
Good-bye, Alice,
411
00:18:21,857 --> 00:18:23,769
Probably forever, this time.
412
00:18:26,062 --> 00:18:27,262
Your dressing.
413
00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,326
Oh, that's good.
414
00:18:36,155 --> 00:18:38,260
Jesus, that is tasty.
415
00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:40,265
Bring some of that home.
416
00:18:40,428 --> 00:18:41,786
Oh, ha-ha.
417
00:18:42,629 --> 00:18:44,289
A little something to remember you by.
418
00:18:44,299 --> 00:18:46,904
Hang on. I've just gotta get my bag.
419
00:18:58,347 --> 00:19:01,071
Wilts: Seriously, Whitney.
Why'd you rent this piece of shit?
420
00:19:01,081 --> 00:19:03,117
It's like the gayest
fucking car I ever sat in.
421
00:19:03,127 --> 00:19:05,052
- Doug: It's a hybrid.
- Yeah, it's a hybrid,
422
00:19:05,062 --> 00:19:06,956
half car, half fuckin' handbag.
423
00:19:06,966 --> 00:19:10,084
Look, I'm sorry if I care about the environment
of the world my children are gonna grow up in.
424
00:19:10,094 --> 00:19:11,080
Children?
425
00:19:11,090 --> 00:19:15,002
Hey, Douglas, you do realize you'd have
to do sex on a woman first, right?
426
00:19:15,012 --> 00:19:17,672
And even if you were to
perform that miracle,
427
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,539
how are you planning on keeping
her out of the abortion clinic?
428
00:19:20,549 --> 00:19:23,078
See-- I said it nicer.
429
00:19:23,088 --> 00:19:24,674
Mr. Wilts, you're the sidekick.
430
00:19:24,684 --> 00:19:25,935
I deliver the smackdowns.
431
00:19:25,945 --> 00:19:28,498
And if you continue to talk
about me or my unborn children,
432
00:19:28,508 --> 00:19:30,257
then I'm gonna have to--
433
00:19:33,020 --> 00:19:35,938
And get back to me on it.
434
00:19:36,372 --> 00:19:38,568
Look at this fuckin' place, huh?
435
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:41,134
Okay, this is the third
Mountford on our list.
436
00:19:41,144 --> 00:19:44,143
Hey, you know what? That's the
crest of the cousin of Lancelot.
437
00:19:44,153 --> 00:19:46,097
I took a course in, uh,
crest identification.
438
00:19:46,107 --> 00:19:48,362
It's actually a big turn-on of mine.
439
00:19:48,372 --> 00:19:50,884
[ snoring ]
440
00:19:50,894 --> 00:19:55,268
Holy shit-- I just fell asleep and I had this nightmare
that you were talking to me about really boring shit.
441
00:19:55,278 --> 00:19:56,706
Oh, fuck, it's happening!
442
00:19:56,716 --> 00:19:57,798
Yes?
443
00:19:57,808 --> 00:19:59,860
Oh, hi, this is Doug
Whitney and associate.
444
00:19:59,870 --> 00:20:02,508
We're from the Doug Whitney and
associates detective agency.
445
00:20:02,518 --> 00:20:04,679
We have a few questions
for mr. Mountford.
446
00:20:04,689 --> 00:20:07,279
Lord Mountford isn't
available at the moment.
447
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:10,247
He's attending his annual symposium
for women trapped beneath
448
00:20:10,257 --> 00:20:14,902
the glass ceiling this week at the
academic society of Westminster.
449
00:20:14,912 --> 00:20:16,258
- Uh, thank you.
- Good day.
450
00:20:16,268 --> 00:20:18,025
Uh, good day, you fucknut.
451
00:20:18,816 --> 00:20:23,816
All right, well, just leave the fuckin' charger,
and let's drive the batmo-queer back to London.
452
00:20:24,112 --> 00:20:25,395
It's a hybrid.
453
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,403
Idiots!
454
00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:31,371
Ah, that was a lot of fun.
455
00:20:31,451 --> 00:20:33,174
Do you know what would be fun tomorrow?
456
00:20:33,184 --> 00:20:35,061
If we followed them around for a bit.
457
00:20:35,071 --> 00:20:36,071
Yes--
458
00:20:37,010 --> 00:20:38,903
I was thinking,
459
00:20:38,913 --> 00:20:42,112
uh, maybe I might be
able to go home, sir.
460
00:20:44,443 --> 00:20:48,426
I don't believe your job description
involves thinking, does it?
461
00:20:48,436 --> 00:20:53,032
I don't think it-- no, sir.
462
00:20:53,992 --> 00:20:56,401
Good-- now, run out and
get my phone charger.
463
00:20:56,411 --> 00:20:58,120
I'm nearly out of battery.
464
00:20:58,130 --> 00:20:59,935
Yes, sir.
465
00:21:00,722 --> 00:21:03,110
I did not say, "walk!" I said, "run!"
466
00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:06,146
Do you want me to chase you?
I will chase you!
467
00:21:36,064 --> 00:21:37,264
Todd: Mehtap?
468
00:21:41,602 --> 00:21:43,394
Oh, right, our date.
469
00:21:48,565 --> 00:21:50,168
Well, I can't just call her.
470
00:21:50,178 --> 00:21:52,125
What am I supposed to say? I forgot?
471
00:21:52,135 --> 00:21:54,297
Tsk-- that'd just blow up in my face.
472
00:21:54,506 --> 00:21:59,506
[ music ]
473
00:21:59,556 --> 00:22:04,106
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35249
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.