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1
00:00:03,934 --> 00:00:05,567
Why are you so jumpy?
2
00:00:05,523 --> 00:00:07,689
I haven't been to church
in years.
3
00:00:07,620 --> 00:00:09,886
God's gonna smite me.
4
00:00:09,812 --> 00:00:13,012
We're dedicating this church
as a historic landmark.
5
00:00:12,894 --> 00:00:14,593
So deal with it, sinner boy.
6
00:00:14,546 --> 00:00:16,646
This is important to the mayor.
7
00:00:16,579 --> 00:00:19,746
Can't we just slap a plaque
on this sucker and bolt?
8
00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:24,478
I can't sit in the front row.
9
00:00:24,428 --> 00:00:25,962
I don't know the routine.
10
00:00:25,921 --> 00:00:27,221
Me neither.
11
00:00:27,192 --> 00:00:28,858
Let's make a run for it.
12
00:00:28,812 --> 00:00:30,280
Just follow my lead.
13
00:00:40,410 --> 00:00:41,844
Welcome.
14
00:00:48,672 --> 00:00:50,672
Let us begin
with the responsorial.
15
00:00:56,455 --> 00:00:58,422
Lord, look upon us with mercy.
16
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:01,796
We pray for our loved ones
who have passed on.
17
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:04,366
We pray for our great mayor.
18
00:01:08,371 --> 00:01:09,638
Dropped the rule book.
19
00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:38,253
So you're Angie,
the new assistant.
20
00:01:38,111 --> 00:01:40,878
I was wondering
if anyone's told you
21
00:01:40,780 --> 00:01:44,180
about the traditional
new-employee bubble bath.
22
00:01:44,054 --> 00:01:47,386
Not yet,
but I assume you're involved.
23
00:01:47,262 --> 00:01:51,195
Well, I am the bath master.
24
00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,862
Good morning, Angie.
25
00:02:00,798 --> 00:02:02,965
I see you've met Stewart.
26
00:02:02,895 --> 00:02:07,161
And don't think the tie
goes with that desk.
27
00:02:06,993 --> 00:02:09,727
Let's start. We got a lot
to talk about today.
28
00:02:09,631 --> 00:02:12,297
Could we talk about
the new girl?
29
00:02:12,205 --> 00:02:14,538
I think she's a keeper.
30
00:02:14,461 --> 00:02:16,060
As you all know,
31
00:02:16,018 --> 00:02:19,451
the mayor had a few problems
at yesterday's church service,
32
00:02:19,323 --> 00:02:22,755
including asking the priest,
"what's a guy like you make?"
33
00:02:24,469 --> 00:02:26,703
$32,500.
34
00:02:27,964 --> 00:02:29,398
In two weeks,
35
00:02:29,363 --> 00:02:31,696
the mayor's attending a mass
with the new bishop,
36
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,685
and he needs a religious
refresher course.
37
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,020
I can help.
38
00:02:34,986 --> 00:02:36,053
No, you can't.
39
00:02:36,035 --> 00:02:38,168
Why not?
You're evil.
40
00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:40,867
Right.
41
00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:43,003
I sing
with the gay men's choir.
42
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,530
We play some church gigs.
43
00:02:44,487 --> 00:02:46,821
Can anyone beat
the gay singing thing?
44
00:02:48,395 --> 00:02:51,695
My wife, Claudia, teaches
religion at a catholic school.
45
00:02:51,573 --> 00:02:53,006
The nuns just love her.
46
00:02:52,970 --> 00:02:55,803
Let's use Paul's idea.
Schedule it for 1:00.
47
00:02:55,702 --> 00:02:59,336
1:00's no good for you.
48
00:03:04,154 --> 00:03:06,354
Hey, good morning.
49
00:03:06,284 --> 00:03:08,450
Blind man walking.
50
00:03:08,381 --> 00:03:10,781
Can someone help me?
51
00:03:10,701 --> 00:03:12,167
Yes, sir, I can help.
52
00:03:12,130 --> 00:03:13,631
You must be here
53
00:03:13,592 --> 00:03:15,659
for the coalition
for the visually impaired
54
00:03:15,593 --> 00:03:17,160
sight challenge conference.
55
00:03:17,119 --> 00:03:19,352
What tipped you off?
56
00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:20,512
Hello!
57
00:03:20,486 --> 00:03:23,653
My name is Paul.
58
00:03:24,776 --> 00:03:26,576
I'm blind...
59
00:03:26,523 --> 00:03:27,957
Not deaf.
60
00:03:27,922 --> 00:03:30,222
He pushed me. Hey.
61
00:03:30,145 --> 00:03:31,645
You want some of this?
62
00:03:31,608 --> 00:03:32,940
Come here!
63
00:03:32,910 --> 00:03:34,377
What's going on?!
64
00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:36,907
Sorry, he started it!
65
00:03:37,612 --> 00:03:39,213
I am so sorry about this.
66
00:03:39,170 --> 00:03:42,270
I hope there's some way
I could make it up to you.
67
00:03:42,157 --> 00:03:44,589
I don't know.
I'm pretty shaken up.
68
00:03:44,508 --> 00:03:47,608
How about a little lunch,
get to know each other?
69
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,928
Well,
I'm kind of seeing someone.
70
00:03:49,846 --> 00:03:53,713
What's that, a joke...
seeing someone?
71
00:03:55,024 --> 00:03:57,324
It's just one date.
Come on.
72
00:03:57,249 --> 00:03:59,416
Okay, okay, I'll do it.
73
00:03:59,346 --> 00:04:02,879
Great! And, really,
how often do you get to go out
74
00:04:02,745 --> 00:04:04,378
with a 6'4" blind guy?
75
00:04:04,333 --> 00:04:06,901
Hey, Nancy boy,
take me to the snack room.
76
00:04:12,214 --> 00:04:14,214
Today we have a special treat.
77
00:04:14,152 --> 00:04:18,219
The mayor and the deputy mayor
are joining our class.
78
00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,728
We're going to learn the story
of Jonah and the whale.
79
00:04:24,605 --> 00:04:26,706
Mrs. lassiter,
how do whales breathe?
80
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,406
That's a very good question.
81
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,922
Through their blowholes.
82
00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,507
Mr. mayor...
83
00:04:34,424 --> 00:04:37,290
Is there something you'd like
to share with the class?
84
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:39,456
No.
85
00:04:39,381 --> 00:04:40,647
What's a blowhole?
86
00:04:43,574 --> 00:04:46,075
Charlie, shut your blowhole.
87
00:04:45,990 --> 00:04:47,590
Children, please.
88
00:04:47,546 --> 00:04:50,279
We are already behind
the other classes.
89
00:04:50,184 --> 00:04:51,950
What kind of a whale was it?
90
00:04:51,899 --> 00:04:52,866
Humpback.
91
00:04:55,236 --> 00:04:57,936
Please stop it.
"Humpback" is not funny!
92
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:04,634
Ooh, you're in trouble.
93
00:05:04,545 --> 00:05:07,046
Am not.
94
00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:10,934
So...
95
00:05:10,869 --> 00:05:12,869
How was your blind date?
96
00:05:12,807 --> 00:05:14,206
Ha!
97
00:05:16,715 --> 00:05:19,449
He's had to go to the bathroom
for an hour,
98
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:22,651
but he didn't want to miss out
on saying that to you.
99
00:05:22,529 --> 00:05:23,896
So, how was it?
100
00:05:23,864 --> 00:05:26,464
He forgot about some meeting
and he left early.
101
00:05:26,374 --> 00:05:27,841
So you're off the hook.
102
00:05:27,804 --> 00:05:30,071
Come on, how often
do you get to go out
103
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:31,463
with a 6'4" blind guy?
104
00:05:31,427 --> 00:05:32,593
Ned?
105
00:05:32,570 --> 00:05:35,869
Uh-oh, meet me
in the snack room.
106
00:05:35,747 --> 00:05:37,781
What's going on here?
107
00:05:37,717 --> 00:05:39,951
You beg me
to go to lunch with you,
108
00:05:39,878 --> 00:05:42,078
and then you lied
and blew me off?
109
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:43,673
It's nothing personal.
110
00:05:43,627 --> 00:05:46,195
It's just, you know, you, uh...
111
00:05:46,106 --> 00:05:47,939
You weren't fun.
112
00:05:47,885 --> 00:05:49,518
Sorry, toots.
113
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,776
Oh, yeah?
114
00:05:52,747 --> 00:05:54,713
Well, you're only 5'6"!
115
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:56,620
Caitlin, he's blind!
116
00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:57,926
Oh, yeah.
117
00:05:57,894 --> 00:06:00,927
And you're blind!
118
00:06:00,817 --> 00:06:03,984
Thanks, Carter.
119
00:06:06,727 --> 00:06:09,560
Could I talk to you
for a minute?
120
00:06:09,459 --> 00:06:12,159
Sure.
Pull up any tiny chair.
121
00:06:12,064 --> 00:06:15,198
The mayor and I are really sorry
about what happened today.
122
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,384
I guess religion makes us
a little nervous.
123
00:06:17,308 --> 00:06:18,741
I hope you're not too upset.
124
00:06:26,585 --> 00:06:29,685
So we're cool?
125
00:06:30,748 --> 00:06:33,047
Don't cry.
126
00:06:32,972 --> 00:06:35,339
Help!
127
00:06:35,259 --> 00:06:37,760
I'm a terrible teacher.
I should quit.
128
00:06:37,674 --> 00:06:40,308
With kids like me and the mayor
in your class,
129
00:06:40,216 --> 00:06:41,849
you don't stand a chance.
130
00:06:41,805 --> 00:06:43,504
We're bad apples.
131
00:06:43,457 --> 00:06:46,624
How about a drink?
132
00:06:46,507 --> 00:06:48,340
Wa-wa watermelon?
133
00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:52,754
Cr-r-r-r-azy kiwi?
134
00:06:53,784 --> 00:06:55,150
It's just, you know,
135
00:06:55,118 --> 00:06:58,218
all my life I wanted
to serve the church
136
00:06:58,105 --> 00:06:59,905
and help people,
137
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:03,819
and even if I could reach
one person, I'd feel fulfilled,
138
00:07:03,665 --> 00:07:06,465
but I can't even do that!
139
00:07:07,733 --> 00:07:09,499
What are you talking about?
140
00:07:09,448 --> 00:07:11,314
You've helped me.
141
00:07:11,259 --> 00:07:13,092
How?
142
00:07:13,038 --> 00:07:17,705
Before today,
it's like religion is here
143
00:07:17,519 --> 00:07:19,652
and I'm here.
144
00:07:19,585 --> 00:07:21,650
And after your class,
145
00:07:21,586 --> 00:07:24,186
religion's still here,
but now...
146
00:07:24,096 --> 00:07:26,829
I'm here.
147
00:07:28,290 --> 00:07:30,223
And that's all you.
148
00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:32,760
You're just saying that.
149
00:07:32,707 --> 00:07:36,173
Claudia, seeing how dedicated
you are is inspiring.
150
00:07:36,043 --> 00:07:37,677
You obviously have a calling.
151
00:07:37,632 --> 00:07:39,798
If teaching isn't right
for you in the church,
152
00:07:39,728 --> 00:07:41,162
try something else.
153
00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:42,627
Maybe altar lady.
154
00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:44,289
Thank you, Charlie.
155
00:07:44,241 --> 00:07:45,941
That's really sweet.
156
00:07:45,893 --> 00:07:48,060
The mayor
wanted me to assure you
157
00:07:47,990 --> 00:07:49,757
that he's learned his lesson.
158
00:07:49,705 --> 00:07:52,939
Hello, Charlie, this is God.
159
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:55,887
The mayor wants to go home now.
160
00:08:00,032 --> 00:08:02,832
Stewart,
my trip to church yesterday
161
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:05,499
got me thinking
about spirituality,
162
00:08:05,401 --> 00:08:09,169
and I realize that, well...
163
00:08:11,343 --> 00:08:13,143
I don't have any.
164
00:08:15,506 --> 00:08:19,206
And at this point in my life,
I need to believe in something.
165
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:21,364
Golf isn't enough?
166
00:08:21,289 --> 00:08:25,389
And I need someone
to help me on that journey.
167
00:08:25,229 --> 00:08:27,096
So let me ask you,
168
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,973
do you ever wonder
what it's all about?
169
00:08:30,821 --> 00:08:32,253
No.
170
00:08:32,219 --> 00:08:34,986
Do you ever wonder
if we were put here
171
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,588
for some divine purpose?
172
00:08:36,541 --> 00:08:38,873
No.
173
00:08:38,796 --> 00:08:42,096
Do you ever wonder what
lies in store for our spirit,
174
00:08:41,973 --> 00:08:44,940
our eternal soul,
on the other side?
175
00:08:46,295 --> 00:08:48,128
No.
176
00:08:48,075 --> 00:08:49,641
Then you're my man.
177
00:08:50,998 --> 00:08:54,564
I need someone totally unbiased
to help me select a religion.
178
00:08:54,429 --> 00:08:56,896
Now, I've set up interviews
with representatives
179
00:08:56,813 --> 00:08:59,279
from the big 10 faiths
180
00:08:59,195 --> 00:09:01,295
to see if I can connect
with any of them.
181
00:09:03,516 --> 00:09:06,384
Ah, I think our 2:00 is here.
182
00:09:06,281 --> 00:09:07,981
I can't believe I got dumped!
183
00:09:07,933 --> 00:09:10,466
Caitlin, why are you
obsessing over this?
184
00:09:10,379 --> 00:09:12,579
If he could see
what you look like,
185
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:13,808
he wouldn't have dumped you.
186
00:09:13,779 --> 00:09:16,412
That's the whole point.
For the first time in my life,
187
00:09:16,321 --> 00:09:18,654
a man is judging me
solely on my personality,
188
00:09:18,577 --> 00:09:20,843
and the verdict is in...
I'm not fun!
189
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,570
You're overreacting.
190
00:09:22,517 --> 00:09:23,850
Don't you see?
191
00:09:23,819 --> 00:09:25,886
I've always gotten by
on my looks.
192
00:09:25,821 --> 00:09:27,821
Take them away,
I'm one big dud.
193
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,027
Well,
I can certainly empathize.
194
00:09:29,952 --> 00:09:32,152
Often I found my own good looks
195
00:09:32,081 --> 00:09:34,547
act more like an anchor
than a sail.
196
00:09:34,464 --> 00:09:37,397
What?
197
00:09:37,292 --> 00:09:38,858
Hey...
198
00:09:38,816 --> 00:09:40,950
Would you date me
if I weren't attractive?
199
00:09:40,882 --> 00:09:44,749
Is this like, "do these jeans
make my ass look fat?"
200
00:09:47,936 --> 00:09:51,402
Because I always
get that one wrong.
201
00:09:55,084 --> 00:09:57,685
Hey, Paul, what's happening?
202
00:09:57,595 --> 00:10:00,462
I just had a long conversation
with Claudia.
203
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,327
Apparently, Charlie gave her
quite a pep talk.
204
00:10:03,219 --> 00:10:05,685
I just helped her realize
what's important.
205
00:10:05,601 --> 00:10:08,169
I think I'm pretty good
at motivating people.
206
00:10:08,081 --> 00:10:10,814
She's leaving me.
207
00:10:10,718 --> 00:10:14,317
She wants to become a nun.
208
00:10:17,549 --> 00:10:20,249
I overshot that one.
209
00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:25,560
Stuart, what the hell
is going on?
210
00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:28,326
I heard you're leaving at 4:30
this morning.
211
00:10:28,226 --> 00:10:31,125
Caitlin got dumped
by a blind guy,
212
00:10:31,022 --> 00:10:34,655
and Paul's wife
is becoming a nun.
213
00:10:34,516 --> 00:10:36,750
This is a big day for me.
214
00:10:38,615 --> 00:10:41,248
Guess where I've been?
215
00:10:41,157 --> 00:10:44,357
I don't know, but I hope it
involves drinking and a dare.
216
00:10:44,239 --> 00:10:46,806
Come on, suspenders are fun.
217
00:10:46,717 --> 00:10:49,051
All fun people wear 'em.
218
00:10:48,973 --> 00:10:51,439
From now on, when people hear
"Caitlin Moore,"
219
00:10:51,355 --> 00:10:54,522
I want them to think,
"Caitlin Moore fun."
220
00:10:54,407 --> 00:10:57,340
Hey, Paul, check 'em out.
221
00:10:57,234 --> 00:10:59,301
Hey!
222
00:11:00,888 --> 00:11:04,222
What do you think
of these babies?
223
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:06,664
Sorry, Caitlin, I'm a leg man.
224
00:11:10,611 --> 00:11:12,978
So, how are things
with Claudia?
225
00:11:12,899 --> 00:11:14,932
She slept at her mother's
last night
226
00:11:14,869 --> 00:11:18,036
because she didn't want to be
tempted by the marital bed.
227
00:11:17,919 --> 00:11:20,952
Why, who was in it?
228
00:11:21,858 --> 00:11:23,192
Hey, Paul.
229
00:11:23,162 --> 00:11:24,861
Don't you "hey, Paul" me.
230
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:27,514
I'm sorry, Claudia was crying
and I had to say something.
231
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,320
I never meant for her
to become a nun.
232
00:11:29,263 --> 00:11:32,330
Don't you "look, I'm sorry,
but Claudia was crying
233
00:11:32,217 --> 00:11:33,884
"and I had to say something,
234
00:11:33,838 --> 00:11:36,437
I never meant for her
to become a nun" me.
235
00:11:36,348 --> 00:11:38,114
You think it's possible
that Claudia
236
00:11:38,063 --> 00:11:39,798
could have been thinking
about this?
237
00:11:39,748 --> 00:11:43,448
But if he hadn't talked to her,
she would've repressed it,
238
00:11:43,307 --> 00:11:46,374
led a life of quiet desperation
like we all do.
239
00:11:46,262 --> 00:11:49,129
You think I don't have
fantasies, huh?
240
00:11:49,026 --> 00:11:50,626
I'd like to fly to London,
241
00:11:50,582 --> 00:11:53,216
take Elizabeth Hurley
up to my hotel room,
242
00:11:53,125 --> 00:11:55,291
get her autograph...
but I don't.
243
00:11:55,221 --> 00:11:59,855
You do realize in a fantasy
you can do whatever you want?
244
00:12:00,909 --> 00:12:04,276
So, rabbi elder, tell me...
245
00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:05,749
In the Jewish religion,
246
00:12:05,706 --> 00:12:08,673
what would a person have to do
to warrant going to hell?
247
00:12:08,566 --> 00:12:11,700
The torah contains a set
of moral codes for this life.
248
00:12:11,585 --> 00:12:13,086
We don't believe in hell.
249
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:15,870
Nice.
250
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,040
Paul, eventually,
251
00:12:20,004 --> 00:12:21,938
you're gonna
have to talk to me.
252
00:12:21,879 --> 00:12:25,046
I'm afraid to. I might get
the urge to become a priest.
253
00:12:24,930 --> 00:12:26,730
Oh, I should've expected this.
254
00:12:26,677 --> 00:12:29,577
I've always had bad luck
with women.
255
00:12:29,474 --> 00:12:32,474
It's like the girl
I took to the prom.
256
00:12:32,365 --> 00:12:33,999
She became a lesbian.
257
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:37,021
Sometimes later on life,
people change.
258
00:12:36,910 --> 00:12:39,409
It happened
during a slow dance.
259
00:12:39,323 --> 00:12:41,257
Don't get down on yourself.
260
00:12:41,198 --> 00:12:42,831
When I was in college,
261
00:12:42,786 --> 00:12:45,753
my girlfriend was attracted
to another woman, and...
262
00:12:45,646 --> 00:12:49,047
oh, wait,
that was for my birthday.
263
00:12:48,919 --> 00:12:51,552
Look, Paul,
you've got to talk to Claudia.
264
00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:53,894
You gotta fight
to save your marriage.
265
00:12:53,813 --> 00:12:55,746
There's nothing I can do.
266
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:58,787
There are so many great things
about being married.
267
00:12:59,944 --> 00:13:02,678
I have no idea what they are.
268
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:06,081
I'm not gonna wait around
for Claudia to make a decision.
269
00:13:05,950 --> 00:13:09,584
I'm gonna hit the town tonight
with the wildest guy I know.
270
00:13:09,445 --> 00:13:12,246
I have this sick feeling
in my stomach
271
00:13:12,146 --> 00:13:14,146
that you're talking about me.
272
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,551
You and me.
273
00:13:15,514 --> 00:13:18,481
We're gonna put on our best
members only jackets,
274
00:13:18,373 --> 00:13:21,073
practice our moonwalks,
275
00:13:20,978 --> 00:13:24,312
and ride the mechanical bull.
276
00:13:24,188 --> 00:13:25,555
Okay.
277
00:13:25,523 --> 00:13:29,655
I'll pick you up in 1982.
278
00:13:29,494 --> 00:13:32,329
Charlie, why did Paul
just ask me
279
00:13:32,227 --> 00:13:34,359
if he could "bum a condom"?
280
00:13:34,292 --> 00:13:37,425
I thought you were gonna tell
him to go back to Claudia.
281
00:13:37,311 --> 00:13:39,244
I tried, but now, apparently,
282
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:41,819
I'm the charter member
of his posse.
283
00:13:41,728 --> 00:13:43,260
What are you gonna do?
284
00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:45,954
I'm gonna show him
the worst time of his life.
285
00:13:45,857 --> 00:13:48,525
By 10:00, he'll be banging
on Claudia's door.
286
00:13:48,432 --> 00:13:50,898
Charlie, you can't help
having a good time.
287
00:13:50,814 --> 00:13:52,248
Good times just find you.
288
00:13:52,213 --> 00:13:54,679
If you're talking about
the wet t-shirt contest,
289
00:13:54,595 --> 00:13:56,428
those things happen
all the time.
290
00:13:56,375 --> 00:14:00,075
Not at the dmv.
291
00:13:59,934 --> 00:14:02,867
Oh, I'm glad
you took those things off.
292
00:14:02,762 --> 00:14:05,729
I found something
that's even more fun.
293
00:14:05,621 --> 00:14:07,121
Bring her in, boys!
294
00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:09,217
Everybody, gather 'round!
295
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,181
I have got fun on a bun!
296
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,285
Isn't it a kick?
297
00:14:13,216 --> 00:14:15,649
10 pounds of ham
is not a good time.
298
00:14:15,566 --> 00:14:17,399
It's prosciutto.
299
00:14:17,346 --> 00:14:20,813
Ah, prosciutto...
the fun meat.
300
00:14:20,682 --> 00:14:23,515
Mr. mayor,
have some hoagie!
301
00:14:23,415 --> 00:14:25,615
No can-do on the ham.
302
00:14:25,543 --> 00:14:30,410
I may be Jewish and/or Muslim
by the end of the day.
303
00:14:35,679 --> 00:14:37,546
Whoa. This stuff goes
right to your head.
304
00:14:37,490 --> 00:14:38,890
What is it?
305
00:14:38,857 --> 00:14:41,024
Light beer.
306
00:14:40,953 --> 00:14:44,187
So, Paul, you see
what I'm talking about?
307
00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:47,933
This is what single life
is like every night.
308
00:14:47,785 --> 00:14:50,119
It's not like in the movies.
309
00:14:50,041 --> 00:14:52,475
It's a sad, lonely existence.
310
00:14:57,158 --> 00:14:59,892
Sure, occasionally, a dozen
or so attractive women
311
00:14:59,795 --> 00:15:02,228
will cross your path,
but it's just a tease,
312
00:15:02,147 --> 00:15:04,480
a painful reminder
of what you can't have.
313
00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:07,036
Charlie Crawford.
314
00:15:09,455 --> 00:15:12,888
I'm with the bachelorette party
and I'm a little tipsy.
315
00:15:12,759 --> 00:15:14,425
This is my friend Paul.
316
00:15:21,179 --> 00:15:23,079
After this party wraps up,
317
00:15:23,021 --> 00:15:27,021
I'm having a small party
back at my place... very small.
318
00:15:26,867 --> 00:15:29,167
Can you come by?
319
00:15:29,091 --> 00:15:32,157
I can't talk right now.
320
00:15:32,046 --> 00:15:34,445
And yes.
321
00:15:34,364 --> 00:15:36,098
See you later, Charlie.
322
00:15:36,050 --> 00:15:37,483
Bye, Paul.
323
00:15:37,447 --> 00:15:40,747
Bye, Paul.
324
00:15:40,625 --> 00:15:42,258
Okay, sure, it seems fun,
325
00:15:42,213 --> 00:15:45,513
but you go broke hanging out
with these women for one night.
326
00:15:45,391 --> 00:15:47,024
The bar tab alone...
327
00:15:46,979 --> 00:15:48,479
my daughter just had a baby!
328
00:15:48,442 --> 00:15:50,975
Drinks are on the house!
329
00:15:50,887 --> 00:15:52,488
All right! Yeah!
330
00:15:52,444 --> 00:15:54,778
Paul, Paul, stay with me.
331
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:57,733
Sometimes there are hot babes
and the drinks are free,
332
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,490
but trust me, this is as good
as it will ever get.
333
00:16:00,388 --> 00:16:03,488
Do you and your friend want
to judge a wet t-shirt contest?
334
00:16:05,250 --> 00:16:09,617
It's the dmv all over again.
335
00:16:12,716 --> 00:16:17,283
Caitlin, did you
silly-string my office?
336
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:19,634
Let me guess...
it wasn't silly?
337
00:16:19,548 --> 00:16:22,481
This is insane. Who cares
about that idiot's opinion?
338
00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:23,742
I think you're great.
339
00:16:23,710 --> 00:16:26,209
It doesn't make any difference
what you look like,
340
00:16:26,125 --> 00:16:28,025
except for those earrings
yesterday.
341
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:30,067
They made you
look like a hooker.
342
00:16:30,001 --> 00:16:32,535
My point is, you don't need
to change a thing.
343
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:33,915
Thanks, Carter.
344
00:16:33,877 --> 00:16:35,944
You're right.
What was I thinking?
345
00:16:35,879 --> 00:16:38,579
Your opinion matters more
than some stranger's.
346
00:16:39,756 --> 00:16:40,990
Hey, ned!
347
00:16:40,964 --> 00:16:42,463
What?
348
00:16:42,425 --> 00:16:43,991
You know what?
349
00:16:43,949 --> 00:16:47,283
I am sick of worrying about you
and your stupid opinions.
350
00:16:47,159 --> 00:16:49,759
You're wrong because I am fun.
351
00:16:49,668 --> 00:16:52,202
I didn't mean you weren't fun.
352
00:16:52,116 --> 00:16:54,182
I meant you weren't fun.
353
00:16:54,118 --> 00:16:55,851
You didn't put out.
354
00:16:55,801 --> 00:16:59,801
You expected me to put out
at lunch?
355
00:16:59,647 --> 00:17:02,446
I'm blind,
I don't have a lot of time.
356
00:17:02,347 --> 00:17:04,347
You can't see.
You're not dying.
357
00:17:04,285 --> 00:17:08,118
When you lose your sight,
other senses are heightened.
358
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:12,029
Horny is not a sense!
359
00:17:11,974 --> 00:17:13,341
Caitlin...
360
00:17:13,309 --> 00:17:14,976
I'm way ahead of you, Carter.
361
00:17:14,929 --> 00:17:17,896
And you're bald!
362
00:17:20,617 --> 00:17:22,650
How did it go with Paul
last night?
363
00:17:22,587 --> 00:17:25,120
Did you manage to sour him
on the single life?
364
00:17:25,033 --> 00:17:28,367
A bachelorette party showed up,
it reminded him of his wedding.
365
00:17:28,243 --> 00:17:30,976
He freaked out and left by 9:00.
366
00:17:32,469 --> 00:17:34,769
Whoa, Chuck wagon!
367
00:17:37,393 --> 00:17:39,827
Did you get the license plate
of the truck
368
00:17:39,744 --> 00:17:41,711
that hit us last night?
369
00:17:41,651 --> 00:17:44,184
Paul, are those the same
clothes you wore yesterday?
370
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:46,298
That is correct.
371
00:17:46,226 --> 00:17:49,426
Pauly played an away game.
372
00:17:49,309 --> 00:17:51,042
Hey, Chuck roast,
373
00:17:50,992 --> 00:17:56,625
please tell me I did not go home
with that double bagger, huh?
374
00:17:56,393 --> 00:17:58,360
I love being single.
375
00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:01,135
I'm having the time of my life!
376
00:18:01,033 --> 00:18:02,066
What about Claudia?
377
00:18:02,051 --> 00:18:04,017
Oh, God, I miss her so much.
378
00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:05,890
Oh, God, I'm not having fun.
379
00:18:05,831 --> 00:18:08,598
I slept on her mother's lawn
last night,
380
00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:10,433
and I got bit by a mole.
381
00:18:11,932 --> 00:18:15,132
Let's go in my office
and disinfect that mole bite.
382
00:18:17,079 --> 00:18:18,478
Hello, Paul.
383
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:20,278
Claudia.
384
00:18:21,495 --> 00:18:23,096
Good luck, buddy.
385
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:26,906
Don't give up on us.
386
00:18:26,865 --> 00:18:29,399
If I'm not doing something
right, I can change.
387
00:18:29,312 --> 00:18:31,379
I'm not asking you to change.
388
00:18:31,313 --> 00:18:34,213
You want me to dress up
like God? I can do that.
389
00:18:34,110 --> 00:18:36,609
Paul, this isn't your fault.
390
00:18:36,524 --> 00:18:40,725
I just realized this is
something I have to do.
391
00:18:40,559 --> 00:18:44,225
But if you go, who am I
gonna tell about my day to, huh?
392
00:18:44,086 --> 00:18:46,086
Who am I gonna buy flowers for?
393
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:49,191
Who's gonna put little
love notes in my jacket?
394
00:18:49,074 --> 00:18:52,708
I never put love notes
in your jacket, Paul.
395
00:18:52,571 --> 00:18:57,404
Oh, my God,
our dry cleaner wants me.
396
00:18:57,209 --> 00:18:59,442
For the first time in my life,
397
00:18:59,369 --> 00:19:03,469
I feel that I have a purpose
that's bigger than myself.
398
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:07,310
This is truly an amazing thing
that's happened to me.
399
00:19:07,154 --> 00:19:10,254
And deep in your heart,
I think you know that.
400
00:19:10,141 --> 00:19:13,941
Now, having said that, I mean,
401
00:19:13,795 --> 00:19:16,828
if you want me to stay,
I'll stay.
402
00:19:17,703 --> 00:19:19,402
Stay.
403
00:19:20,499 --> 00:19:23,332
I don't want to stand in the way
of your happiness.
404
00:19:23,231 --> 00:19:24,498
You go.
405
00:19:24,471 --> 00:19:27,938
Thank you, pauly.
406
00:19:27,807 --> 00:19:30,307
I love you.
407
00:19:30,222 --> 00:19:32,922
I love you, too.
408
00:20:10,575 --> 00:20:12,807
So, did the mayor
pick a religion yet?
409
00:20:12,735 --> 00:20:14,868
No, he decided
he doesn't need one.
410
00:20:14,801 --> 00:20:16,867
He's gonna stick with
being a wasp.
411
00:20:16,803 --> 00:20:19,236
Well, he's doing
pretty good today.
412
00:20:19,154 --> 00:20:22,887
So is it true that you
can only move diagonally?
413
00:20:24,555 --> 00:20:26,589
I'm kidding.
414
00:21:26,502 --> 00:21:28,968
Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog.
415
00:21:29,018 --> 00:21:33,568
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