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1
00:00:01,093 --> 00:00:02,525
Good morning, everyone.
2
00:00:02,523 --> 00:00:05,589
Mike. You need to call
councilman Buckner,
3
00:00:05,510 --> 00:00:07,509
the public works
budget is due today,
4
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,945
and don't forget about your 2:00
regarding the mta proposal.
5
00:00:10,848 --> 00:00:12,614
Ok.
6
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:15,629
Who are you?
7
00:00:15,551 --> 00:00:18,184
Your assistant's out sick.
I'm Gayle, your temp.
8
00:00:18,126 --> 00:00:20,058
And yes, I know,
I'm adorable.
9
00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:22,931
But there's no time for that right now.
Shoo shoo!
10
00:00:24,831 --> 00:00:27,463
People, could I have
your attention, please?
11
00:00:27,405 --> 00:00:30,070
As you know, I'm starting
a city hall newsletter.
12
00:00:30,010 --> 00:00:33,776
The deadline is tomorrow at 2:00, and I'm
going to need your submissions by then.
13
00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:38,861
Ok, everybody, thanks.
14
00:00:38,845 --> 00:00:41,444
James, don't take
this the wrong way,
15
00:00:41,386 --> 00:00:45,352
but I've noticed you command
absolutely zero respect from people.
16
00:00:45,232 --> 00:00:46,664
I've noticed. The reason...
17
00:00:46,662 --> 00:00:49,027
I don't care.
18
00:00:48,981 --> 00:00:50,847
You need to learn
to be more assertive.
19
00:00:50,824 --> 00:00:53,457
You give an order,
and people hop to!
20
00:00:53,399 --> 00:00:55,597
Paul! Gimme that.
21
00:00:57,624 --> 00:00:59,823
To power!
22
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:06,730
This is toner,
isn't it?
23
00:01:13,862 --> 00:01:15,596
It's for
the copying machine.
24
00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:18,445
Have janelle call the
poison control center.
25
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:23,174
(CHOKED VOICE)
She knows the number.
26
00:01:51,647 --> 00:01:54,011
Hey, Carter, you wanna
grab some lunch today?
27
00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:56,131
Bennet and I
already have a lunch date.
28
00:01:56,095 --> 00:01:57,327
I'm gonna
break up with him.
29
00:01:57,334 --> 00:02:03,199
So you finally gonna lose
the old balls and chain?
30
00:02:05,882 --> 00:02:08,148
It's just that
he's a boxer, you know,
31
00:02:08,107 --> 00:02:11,139
and he likes to sit around
and watch sports all day.
32
00:02:11,062 --> 00:02:12,994
He doesn't express himself
very well,
33
00:02:12,969 --> 00:02:14,901
and he's a little, uh...
Aggressive.
34
00:02:14,876 --> 00:02:17,508
That'll happen
when you date a...
35
00:02:17,450 --> 00:02:18,682
A...
36
00:02:18,689 --> 00:02:20,021
Oh, what's
the word?
37
00:02:20,024 --> 00:02:21,856
Oh, yeah. A man!
38
00:02:26,633 --> 00:02:29,365
Oh, I get it!
It's because I'm gay!
39
00:02:29,302 --> 00:02:31,201
Oh ho ho ho ho!
Oh ho ho...
40
00:02:31,177 --> 00:02:32,476
jackass.
41
00:02:34,958 --> 00:02:37,591
Ah, Carter.
Ready to go?
42
00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:38,965
Hey! Whoa-ho!
43
00:02:38,963 --> 00:02:40,395
Whoa-oh! Ok!
All right!
44
00:02:40,393 --> 00:02:41,491
Hey, hey!
45
00:02:41,505 --> 00:02:43,271
Whoa! Round's over.
46
00:02:43,253 --> 00:02:44,652
Ding ding!
47
00:02:47,289 --> 00:02:50,154
Uh, Stuart, I have an extra
ticket to the Mercer fight.
48
00:02:50,085 --> 00:02:54,184
Uh, actually, Bennet,
we need to talk.
49
00:02:54,057 --> 00:02:55,156
No, no!
50
00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:57,169
No talk, Carter!
51
00:02:57,140 --> 00:02:59,672
You don't want to
talk before the fight!
52
00:02:59,618 --> 00:03:01,451
Aw!
53
00:03:01,430 --> 00:03:02,862
Carter.
54
00:03:02,860 --> 00:03:04,759
He doesn't have the
guts to dump someone.
55
00:03:04,734 --> 00:03:07,033
And let me guess...
you do.
56
00:03:06,991 --> 00:03:09,356
You don't know my rep
as a heartbreaker,
57
00:03:09,310 --> 00:03:12,842
but when I got rid of my old
girlfriend dierde... I was ruthless.
58
00:03:12,742 --> 00:03:14,974
Stu-aaart!
59
00:03:14,935 --> 00:03:16,801
Oh!
60
00:03:16,778 --> 00:03:18,477
Wait a minute!
61
00:03:18,462 --> 00:03:21,961
You're supposed to stay 10 feet
away from me at all times.
62
00:03:24,277 --> 00:03:26,876
10 feet.
63
00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:28,985
Give or take
a few inches,
64
00:03:28,949 --> 00:03:31,615
depending on how happy
you are to see me.
65
00:03:46,077 --> 00:03:47,442
(GROANS) Oh...
66
00:03:47,443 --> 00:03:51,742
Everything tastes better
with a little Paulie on it.
67
00:03:57,517 --> 00:03:59,416
Ok, I'm done.
68
00:03:59,392 --> 00:04:01,624
I'm gonna get
4 more drinks.
69
00:04:01,584 --> 00:04:03,384
You guys want
anything?
70
00:04:03,365 --> 00:04:04,629
This round is on us.
71
00:04:04,634 --> 00:04:06,666
Yeah. Hurry,
before ladies' night ends.
72
00:04:06,636 --> 00:04:10,735
Now, remember, you order one drink at
a time, then shovel it over to me.
73
00:04:10,609 --> 00:04:12,174
I love you when you
boss me around.
74
00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:15,465
Well, then snap to it,
wench!
75
00:04:15,376 --> 00:04:18,842
No-w-wench in a good way.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
76
00:04:18,744 --> 00:04:21,110
I hate pretending
that we're not together.
77
00:04:21,063 --> 00:04:23,296
I wanna be more like
Paul and Claudia.
78
00:04:23,257 --> 00:04:27,789
Oh, so one of us distracts the bartender
while the other one steals peanuts?
79
00:04:35,618 --> 00:04:39,082
I want public displays
of affection.
80
00:04:38,986 --> 00:04:41,553
Fine. Remove the blinds
from my bedroom window.
81
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,729
Several of my neighbors
own telescopes.
82
00:04:43,688 --> 00:04:45,255
How do you know that?
83
00:04:45,247 --> 00:04:48,313
'Cause I've seen the perverts
through my binoculars.
84
00:04:48,235 --> 00:04:52,100
You want public affection, I'll
give you public affection.
85
00:04:51,984 --> 00:04:53,849
Oh! What are you doing?
86
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,459
She's choking.
87
00:05:08,730 --> 00:05:11,129
(OPERA PLAYS)
88
00:05:11,082 --> 00:05:14,814
See, this is exactly the kind of
evening I couldn't have with Bennet...
89
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:17,637
classical music,
fine wine...
90
00:05:17,565 --> 00:05:19,063
Sparkling conversation.
91
00:05:22,617 --> 00:05:24,249
More Pinot noir?
92
00:05:29,036 --> 00:05:30,368
Wow!
93
00:05:30,370 --> 00:05:32,469
I'd watch out
how he pets you, rags.
94
00:05:32,435 --> 00:05:34,301
He's on the rebound.
95
00:05:34,278 --> 00:05:38,277
Stuart, do you have any idea how difficult
it was to break up with Bennet today?
96
00:05:38,155 --> 00:05:39,254
Yeah.
97
00:05:39,268 --> 00:05:41,267
The important thing
is I made a clean break.
98
00:05:41,238 --> 00:05:44,437
Still... You know how much I
wanted to go to that Mercer fight.
99
00:05:44,352 --> 00:05:46,618
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Yeah, yeah, I do.
100
00:05:46,577 --> 00:05:48,576
No...
101
00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:50,646
You don't.
102
00:05:50,612 --> 00:05:52,745
Hey, Carter.
103
00:05:52,710 --> 00:05:55,709
Stuart invited me over. I hope that's cool.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
104
00:05:55,634 --> 00:05:57,100
Hey!
Hey! Ha ha!
105
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:59,361
You see, I love
when he does that.
106
00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:00,252
(THUNK)
107
00:06:00,273 --> 00:06:01,271
Ow.
108
00:06:09,012 --> 00:06:10,811
Ok, deadline time.
109
00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:12,990
Janelle, what do you
have for the newsletter?
110
00:06:12,952 --> 00:06:14,585
James, there's no
gossip in city hall.
111
00:06:14,573 --> 00:06:15,838
What do you want...
112
00:06:15,844 --> 00:06:17,610
sid in the mail room
had a corn removed?
113
00:06:17,592 --> 00:06:20,091
Oh, my God. When?
114
00:06:21,373 --> 00:06:24,305
Hey, Paul, are you done
with your astrology column?
115
00:06:24,233 --> 00:06:25,865
Lemme tell you
something, James.
116
00:06:25,854 --> 00:06:28,553
I really wanted
to do that for you,
117
00:06:28,492 --> 00:06:30,157
but instead, I didn't.
118
00:06:33,481 --> 00:06:35,180
Ok, new girl,
I need you to find Mike,
119
00:06:35,165 --> 00:06:38,164
get the article he wrote about the
mayor, and type it up for me.
120
00:06:38,088 --> 00:06:41,787
Junior, I'm a temp... From
the Latin word I don't care.
121
00:06:46,636 --> 00:06:49,002
James, did you get a chance
to see my submission?
122
00:06:48,957 --> 00:06:50,655
Yes, sir, I did...
123
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,139
The word jumble.
124
00:06:52,134 --> 00:06:55,199
Actually, this is a little practical
joke we used to play at Yale.
125
00:06:55,121 --> 00:06:58,353
No words can be formed using
those 6 letters. (SNORTS)
126
00:07:01,794 --> 00:07:02,793
Camera.
127
00:07:02,811 --> 00:07:04,176
Damn.
128
00:07:06,402 --> 00:07:08,335
Oh, wait, wait.
No, I see my mistake.
129
00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:10,407
Change the "e"
to an "o".
130
00:07:10,374 --> 00:07:12,440
Camaro.
131
00:07:12,409 --> 00:07:13,541
Ok.
132
00:07:13,552 --> 00:07:16,685
Change all of the
consonants to qs and xs.
133
00:07:21,178 --> 00:07:23,544
Sir?
Yes?
134
00:07:23,499 --> 00:07:26,231
Maybe a practical
joke isn't... what?
135
00:07:26,168 --> 00:07:28,367
No, I'm saying the idea
of a newsletter is to...
136
00:07:28,328 --> 00:07:30,261
What?
137
00:07:30,235 --> 00:07:32,368
No, I guess what
I'm trying to say is...
138
00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:34,231
what?
139
00:07:34,207 --> 00:07:36,006
I love it!
140
00:07:35,987 --> 00:07:37,919
Don't you think you're
being wishy-washy?
141
00:07:37,894 --> 00:07:41,093
Uh, yes and no.
142
00:07:41,008 --> 00:07:44,306
Be assertive. Have the
courage of your convictions.
143
00:07:44,216 --> 00:07:47,615
Now, come on! For God's sake, do
you or do you not like my jumble?
144
00:07:47,521 --> 00:07:49,453
It sucks! It's out!
145
00:07:52,161 --> 00:07:53,626
I'm proud of you.
146
00:07:53,623 --> 00:07:55,289
S-so you're not mad?
147
00:07:55,276 --> 00:07:56,208
Don't be silly!
148
00:07:56,229 --> 00:07:57,328
(BREATHLESS LAUGH)
149
00:07:57,341 --> 00:07:58,440
Bastard.
150
00:08:02,934 --> 00:08:05,766
I can't believe you're
pretending to be Bennet's friend
151
00:08:05,698 --> 00:08:07,163
just to get boxing
tickets.
152
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,293
You pretended to like Nikki's
mother just to go to the opera.
153
00:08:10,210 --> 00:08:12,143
Different.
Nikki hates her mother.
154
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,449
No, I don't.
155
00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:15,451
Oh, please. She treats
you like a child,
156
00:08:15,422 --> 00:08:19,254
judging everything you do. All of the
problems in your life stem from the fact
157
00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:24,639
that you haven't dealt with your feelings toward her.
I can't believe how insensitive you're being!
158
00:08:24,447 --> 00:08:26,946
Look, after Bennet
takes me to this fight,
159
00:08:26,894 --> 00:08:28,827
I'll stop hanging out
with him.
160
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:30,766
Oh, so, what, I have to
wait one more day?
161
00:08:30,738 --> 00:08:35,004
Actually, I was talking about
the Tyson fight next January...
162
00:08:34,870 --> 00:08:38,802
Unless Tyson has to serve
his full prison sentence,
163
00:08:38,683 --> 00:08:41,982
in which case, you could
be looking at 3-5 years.
164
00:08:44,213 --> 00:08:45,645
Mom, I love you.
165
00:08:45,642 --> 00:08:47,574
I just wanted to call
166
00:08:47,549 --> 00:08:52,048
and thank you for being the most
important person in my life.
167
00:08:51,903 --> 00:08:53,935
It's Nikki.
168
00:08:59,942 --> 00:09:01,874
Nikki?
169
00:09:01,849 --> 00:09:03,281
Check it out.
170
00:09:03,279 --> 00:09:07,678
Affection... Displayed...
Publicly.
171
00:09:07,537 --> 00:09:09,336
Oh, Mike, that is so...
172
00:09:09,317 --> 00:09:12,049
oh! Are you two
a couple?!
173
00:09:11,987 --> 00:09:13,352
Uh, no.
174
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:15,452
Then who are
the flowers for?
175
00:09:15,419 --> 00:09:16,418
They're for you.
176
00:09:16,435 --> 00:09:17,768
Why?!
177
00:09:17,769 --> 00:09:19,101
Because,
so often in life,
178
00:09:19,104 --> 00:09:20,936
we forget to take the
time to say thank you.
179
00:09:20,915 --> 00:09:23,681
For what?
180
00:09:23,617 --> 00:09:25,649
For the little things.
181
00:09:25,618 --> 00:09:28,918
- Like what?
- Take the damn flowers!
182
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,833
Very nice.
183
00:09:31,783 --> 00:09:33,182
Ah...
184
00:09:36,295 --> 00:09:38,895
You know, Gayle,
185
00:09:38,838 --> 00:09:41,204
I feel like I'm in this
house, this big house,
186
00:09:41,158 --> 00:09:44,356
and everything I want is right
outside the front door:
187
00:09:44,272 --> 00:09:46,938
All I have to do is step
outside and take a look.
188
00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,243
And, yet, I'm too
afraid to do that.
189
00:09:49,198 --> 00:09:50,230
You know what I mean?
190
00:09:50,246 --> 00:09:52,778
Yeah, I do.
191
00:09:55,235 --> 00:09:58,201
(SIGHS) He wants me.
192
00:10:04,196 --> 00:10:05,728
(DOOR OPENS)
193
00:10:05,722 --> 00:10:07,354
That was
a fantastic movie.
194
00:10:07,342 --> 00:10:09,074
I'll go get us
some beers.
195
00:10:09,058 --> 00:10:11,391
Guys, guys.
A little lower, please.
196
00:10:11,346 --> 00:10:13,279
(LOW VOICE) That was
a fantastic movie.
197
00:10:15,763 --> 00:10:18,129
(LOW VOICE) I'll go
get us some beers.
198
00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:19,882
(LAUGHING)
199
00:10:19,863 --> 00:10:22,128
Whatcha watchin'?
200
00:10:22,087 --> 00:10:23,819
It's a command
performance;
201
00:10:23,803 --> 00:10:26,435
the cast of le miz accompanied
by the London philharmonic.
202
00:10:26,377 --> 00:10:29,009
Ah! Gay-per-view.
203
00:10:30,857 --> 00:10:33,090
Don't tell Bennet
I said that.
204
00:10:33,050 --> 00:10:34,315
Ha ha. Yeah, yeah.
205
00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:35,987
About that, Stuart...
206
00:10:35,974 --> 00:10:37,338
I've been thinking.
207
00:10:37,339 --> 00:10:39,338
Just because
it makes me uncomfortable
208
00:10:39,310 --> 00:10:41,743
that you're hanging out
with my ex-boyfriend
209
00:10:41,694 --> 00:10:44,292
doesn't give me the right
to tell you to stop.
210
00:10:44,236 --> 00:10:46,736
- Thank you, Carter.
- You know what, Stuart?
211
00:10:46,682 --> 00:10:48,615
I've made
a new friend, too.
212
00:10:51,291 --> 00:10:52,822
Dierde.
213
00:10:52,816 --> 00:10:56,882
Just when you thought it was safe
to go back into your bedroom.
214
00:11:11,024 --> 00:11:12,357
Ah, Bennet,
215
00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:14,791
have you met
my friend dierde?
216
00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:16,307
How are you?
217
00:11:16,299 --> 00:11:19,264
Better now. Aren't you a
nice tall drink of yoo-hoo?
218
00:11:25,832 --> 00:11:29,265
Stuart, I decided to expand
my circle of friends.
219
00:11:29,170 --> 00:11:31,701
How? By adding
220
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:34,980
a tall, blonde
female sociopath!
221
00:11:34,890 --> 00:11:38,056
Stop! You sound like
my mom.
222
00:11:37,972 --> 00:11:40,138
So, stu-hole...
223
00:11:40,101 --> 00:11:42,034
Carter told me about
your new boyfriend.
224
00:11:42,007 --> 00:11:44,940
What, did you get tired
of not satisfying women?
225
00:11:44,867 --> 00:11:46,500
CARTER: Ho
ho ho ho ho!
226
00:11:46,489 --> 00:11:48,288
Oh, oh, Stuart,
227
00:11:48,268 --> 00:11:49,733
I'm sorry.
228
00:11:49,729 --> 00:11:51,195
Is this awkward?
229
00:11:51,191 --> 00:11:53,556
Have I made it
uncomfortable for you?
230
00:11:53,510 --> 00:11:56,377
Hey, you're the one who told
me to hang out with Bennet.
231
00:11:56,307 --> 00:11:59,040
You said that breaking up with
him was such a big mistake,
232
00:11:58,977 --> 00:12:01,009
you wanted me to help
keep him in your life.
233
00:12:00,979 --> 00:12:02,778
No, no, that...
that's not true.
234
00:12:02,758 --> 00:12:04,724
And then he said
if I ever told you this,
235
00:12:04,697 --> 00:12:06,928
he'd get real embarrassed
and say that's not true.
236
00:12:07,557 --> 00:12:09,055
Carter! Ha ha!
237
00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:11,383
You don't have to
say another word.
238
00:12:11,338 --> 00:12:13,538
No, no, I never...
I never, uh...
239
00:12:13,498 --> 00:12:15,332
you are so dead.
240
00:12:15,311 --> 00:12:17,576
Well, then, let's get
this party movin'.
241
00:12:17,534 --> 00:12:20,201
I have 3 words
I wanna run past ya...
242
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,806
dog, butt, firecracker.
243
00:12:33,105 --> 00:12:34,837
You guys have a minute?
244
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:37,587
I don't. If I don't get this
budget faxed to the governor
245
00:12:37,522 --> 00:12:40,555
in the next 5 minutes, no
one's getting paid next week.
246
00:12:40,477 --> 00:12:43,010
I have gossip about Mike.
Ooh, it can wait.
247
00:12:42,957 --> 00:12:46,155
He's got a crush
on someone in the office.
248
00:12:46,070 --> 00:12:49,069
All right, the cat's
outta the bag.
249
00:12:48,994 --> 00:12:50,726
Mike wants me.
250
00:12:52,109 --> 00:12:53,307
What?
251
00:12:53,316 --> 00:12:55,182
Janelle's
with the mayor,
252
00:12:55,158 --> 00:12:58,191
and all the girls
in accounting are dogs,
253
00:12:58,114 --> 00:12:59,447
so who's left?
254
00:12:59,448 --> 00:13:00,881
How about me?
255
00:13:00,878 --> 00:13:02,811
(GIGGLES)
256
00:13:02,785 --> 00:13:04,918
Nikki, please.
257
00:13:07,139 --> 00:13:08,338
Hey, what's going on?
258
00:13:08,347 --> 00:13:10,879
Mike's got the hots
for someone in city hall.
259
00:13:10,825 --> 00:13:13,157
Who, that intern Molly?
Oh, yeah, he's all over her.
260
00:13:13,113 --> 00:13:15,712
I wonder if he knows that she's
only a freshman in college?
261
00:13:15,655 --> 00:13:18,154
He will.
262
00:13:18,102 --> 00:13:20,268
Uh, no, Mike likes me.
263
00:13:20,232 --> 00:13:21,997
Oh, Stacy, you are
so not his type.
264
00:13:21,979 --> 00:13:23,245
I'm Gayle!
265
00:13:23,250 --> 00:13:25,016
Please. You're here
for a couple of days.
266
00:13:24,998 --> 00:13:27,964
I don't have time
to learn new names.
267
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,489
Besides, he's into blondes.
268
00:13:29,479 --> 00:13:32,111
It's all he ever talks about
when we're at the gym.
269
00:13:32,053 --> 00:13:33,485
I'm a blonde.
270
00:13:33,483 --> 00:13:35,215
Yeah, me, too.
271
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,272
You wanted
to see me, sir?
272
00:13:40,252 --> 00:13:41,851
Yes, come in.
273
00:13:41,840 --> 00:13:43,273
It's about your speech.
274
00:13:43,270 --> 00:13:45,903
I don't think this paragraph
right here works.
275
00:13:45,845 --> 00:13:50,377
- Which one?
- Pick one... Any one.
276
00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:53,762
Sir, is this about me
rejecting your article?
277
00:13:53,662 --> 00:13:55,161
Please, James.
I'm not petty.
278
00:13:55,155 --> 00:13:57,221
Just because
you hated my piece
279
00:13:57,188 --> 00:13:59,988
doesn't mean I'm gonna retaliate
by rejecting your speech
280
00:13:59,921 --> 00:14:02,354
or insulting your
ridiculous haircut.
281
00:14:02,305 --> 00:14:04,904
Uh, sir, you told me
to be more assertive.
282
00:14:04,847 --> 00:14:07,913
Well, James, if I told you to
jump off a bridge, would you?
283
00:14:07,834 --> 00:14:09,200
No.
284
00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,733
Well, there you go again.
Insubordinate.
285
00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:14,031
(SIGHS)
Good day, James.
286
00:14:14,031 --> 00:14:15,463
But sir...
good day.
287
00:14:15,461 --> 00:14:16,893
But...
good...
288
00:14:16,891 --> 00:14:18,024
but...
gah!
289
00:14:20,545 --> 00:14:22,444
(NO SOUND)
290
00:14:22,419 --> 00:14:25,119
Pretty sweet move, bringing
in dierde last night.
291
00:14:25,058 --> 00:14:27,423
Ah. She's a real kick in
the groin, isn't she?
292
00:14:27,376 --> 00:14:30,242
Mm-hmm. Unfortunately, there's
a little flaw in your plan.
293
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,105
You hate dierde
more than I do.
294
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,045
Please. I can last longer with
dierde than you can with Bennet.
295
00:14:34,971 --> 00:14:37,704
Sexually, yes. But other than
that, you're outta luck.
296
00:14:37,641 --> 00:14:39,008
He's overbearing. She's evil.
297
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,074
He'll annoy you.
298
00:14:40,089 --> 00:14:42,587
One day she'll burn
off all your body hair.
299
00:14:43,997 --> 00:14:46,996
There you are, sir. The first
edition of the newsletter.
300
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,786
Why would I want to
read your weekly sentinel?
301
00:14:49,717 --> 00:14:51,148
Well...
302
00:14:51,146 --> 00:14:53,145
"The weekly...Randall Winston"?
303
00:14:53,847 --> 00:14:57,614
All Randall,
all the time.
304
00:14:57,503 --> 00:14:58,834
Catchy.
305
00:14:58,836 --> 00:15:01,103
Sir, check out
the centerfold. Yah!
306
00:15:04,272 --> 00:15:06,171
Who's your daddy?
307
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,483
I wrote this for you.
308
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,315
Now, uh, Nikki,
309
00:15:11,293 --> 00:15:13,225
I don't wanna
oversell it,
310
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:17,499
but this may be the most
romantic thing you've ever read.
311
00:15:17,363 --> 00:15:20,995
"Randall Winston,urban visionary."
312
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:26,797
Oh, Mike,
take me now.
313
00:15:26,705 --> 00:15:28,971
No, that's for James'
stupid newsletter.
314
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,362
Where is it?
315
00:15:30,359 --> 00:15:34,092
Mike! You wrote a tribute
to me in the newsletter!
316
00:15:33,982 --> 00:15:36,315
"Why I love you,by Mike Flaherty."
317
00:15:36,271 --> 00:15:38,336
Sir, uh, this is
a little embarrassing,
318
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:40,036
uh, for you to
read it out loud now.
319
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:44,252
No, I think it's nice to hear how
much you care about the mayor.
320
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:48,419
Can't... The mayor hear it later
over a really nice dinner?
321
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:50,315
I'd like that, Mike.
322
00:15:51,682 --> 00:15:53,581
But just let me read
a little here.
323
00:15:53,558 --> 00:15:56,390
"You're the reason I can't
wait to come to work,
324
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,454
"your smile, your laugh,
325
00:15:58,419 --> 00:16:02,218
the way you run your
fingers through your hair."
326
00:16:02,105 --> 00:16:03,938
THINKING:
He loves me.
327
00:16:03,917 --> 00:16:06,816
He loves me!
328
00:16:06,745 --> 00:16:08,877
He loves me.
329
00:16:10,019 --> 00:16:12,551
Maybe he's becominga perv.
330
00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:19,975
Excuse me, sir. Could I
take a look at that?
331
00:16:21,362 --> 00:16:24,062
"Sometimes when we're
all alone in my office,
332
00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:25,933
"I look into your eyes,
333
00:16:25,908 --> 00:16:30,005
and I wish I could take you in
my arms and hold you forever."
334
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:34,191
(HUSKILY) I don't know
what to say, Mike.
335
00:16:40,429 --> 00:16:41,695
What a fight.
336
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,899
Did you see the way Mercer
worked the body? Uhh!
337
00:16:43,861 --> 00:16:45,292
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
338
00:16:45,291 --> 00:16:48,891
Every time he did, Sanchez
would dance away. Ha ha ha.
339
00:16:48,787 --> 00:16:51,452
Then Mercer would
just track him down and uhh!
340
00:16:51,393 --> 00:16:53,857
Get him into
a bear hug.
341
00:16:53,807 --> 00:16:56,474
Ha. And then the fight
ended, and we came home.
342
00:16:56,414 --> 00:16:57,845
Hey, you want a beer?
343
00:16:57,843 --> 00:16:59,742
You know what
I was thinking...
344
00:16:59,717 --> 00:17:02,184
Why don't we head
over to my place?
345
00:17:04,739 --> 00:17:06,103
What?
346
00:17:06,104 --> 00:17:08,871
Well, we spend so much
time over here,
347
00:17:08,807 --> 00:17:12,705
I thought we'd head over to my place, and, uh...
See what happens.
348
00:17:12,588 --> 00:17:15,886
I...I don't wanna
see what happens.
349
00:17:15,797 --> 00:17:17,496
Oh... Stuart!
350
00:17:17,481 --> 00:17:19,546
You gotta help me!
No, you gotta help me!
351
00:17:19,515 --> 00:17:20,781
DIERDRE:
Car-ter!
352
00:17:23,995 --> 00:17:25,327
So, you giving up
first?
353
00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:26,963
No, I'm not
giving up first.
354
00:17:26,951 --> 00:17:28,550
Come on, Carter.
I've got short hair.
355
00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:30,806
Just close your
eyes and think "man".
356
00:17:31,845 --> 00:17:33,410
Carter.
Stuart.
357
00:17:33,402 --> 00:17:35,068
Say you give!
You say you give!
358
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,853
Anybody got
an ice cream scooper?
359
00:17:36,834 --> 00:17:38,066
I give!
360
00:17:44,237 --> 00:17:46,037
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
361
00:17:46,017 --> 00:17:48,050
Mike, can I talk
to you for a sec?
362
00:17:48,019 --> 00:17:49,285
Sure, whenever.
363
00:17:49,291 --> 00:17:53,056
I'll just try...
And be... Gentle.
364
00:17:52,945 --> 00:17:55,711
You. Me.
Never gonna happen.
365
00:17:56,917 --> 00:17:58,549
You and me?
366
00:17:58,537 --> 00:18:00,603
Look, it's not me you want.
367
00:18:00,572 --> 00:18:02,871
It's the whole... Gayle thing.
368
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:09,426
The fact is,
you're... Not my type.
369
00:18:09,311 --> 00:18:11,410
Well, don't worry
about it Gayle, 'cause...
370
00:18:11,376 --> 00:18:13,341
wait-w-what do you mean,
I'm not your type?
371
00:18:13,315 --> 00:18:16,781
Well, I just... I like a
really masculine guy.
372
00:18:16,683 --> 00:18:21,649
You know, rough and tumble, muscular.
A... chest.
373
00:18:24,564 --> 00:18:26,563
Sorry.
374
00:18:26,534 --> 00:18:29,932
Hey, I'll have you know, I lead my
roller hockey team in penalty minutes!
375
00:18:31,078 --> 00:18:32,744
I'm scrappy.
376
00:18:35,304 --> 00:18:37,237
Mike...
377
00:18:37,211 --> 00:18:39,144
That poem
you wrote
378
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:40,550
was so
beautiful.
379
00:18:40,547 --> 00:18:42,146
Thank you.
380
00:18:42,136 --> 00:18:43,668
Yeah, yeah.
381
00:18:43,662 --> 00:18:44,728
What's wrong?
382
00:18:44,743 --> 00:18:46,675
Gayle.
383
00:18:46,649 --> 00:18:48,714
She just dumped me.
384
00:18:51,416 --> 00:18:54,848
Can we go to
dinner now?
385
00:18:54,753 --> 00:18:57,451
I dunno.
386
00:18:57,390 --> 00:18:59,456
I need some time.
387
00:19:08,099 --> 00:19:09,531
Here you go,
sweetheart.
388
00:19:09,529 --> 00:19:11,561
You take the cherry.
389
00:19:11,530 --> 00:19:14,363
But Paul, that's your favorite.
390
00:19:14,296 --> 00:19:17,128
You're right.
I should take it.
391
00:19:19,094 --> 00:19:21,393
I could use
another drink, though.
392
00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:25,215
Oh, who else? Remember, it's
2 for 1 kamikaze night.
393
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:26,332
Chardonnay.
394
00:19:26,339 --> 00:19:27,471
Beer.
395
00:19:27,483 --> 00:19:29,649
2 kamikazes
coming right up.
396
00:19:29,612 --> 00:19:31,344
Oh, uh, Claudia,
397
00:19:31,328 --> 00:19:34,160
can you get me some peanuts
while you're up?
398
00:19:37,715 --> 00:19:39,148
Thank you.
399
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:42,078
Ok. Why are we still going
out with Paul and Claudia?
400
00:19:42,005 --> 00:19:43,838
You got the poem.
401
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:45,415
Yes, I did.
402
00:19:45,406 --> 00:19:49,405
Now I'm shooting for a big kiss right
here in the middle of the bar.
403
00:19:49,282 --> 00:19:52,781
How about a hand
on knee under the table?
404
00:19:52,682 --> 00:19:55,881
How about hand on hand
over the table?
405
00:19:55,797 --> 00:19:59,062
How about a quickie
in the bathroom?
406
00:19:58,974 --> 00:20:00,107
Deal.
407
00:20:10,891 --> 00:20:13,389
Hey, Stuart.
What are you doing?
408
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:16,169
Trying to figure out
this word jumble.
409
00:20:19,439 --> 00:20:21,837
Listen, um...
I was just thinking
410
00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:25,223
after the whole
bennet/dierde thing,
411
00:20:25,128 --> 00:20:26,592
maybe some
stuart/carter time
412
00:20:26,588 --> 00:20:28,620
might not be such
a bad idea.
413
00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:30,522
Just the two of us?
414
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:31,797
You got it, buddy.
415
00:20:31,801 --> 00:20:33,299
Stu-art!
416
00:20:34,374 --> 00:20:36,874
Slice of white,
slice of pumpernickel.
417
00:20:36,822 --> 00:20:41,520
Here comes the meat!
418
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:42,764
What is she
doing here?
419
00:20:42,763 --> 00:20:45,762
Dierde decided that she and
I should get back together.
420
00:20:45,686 --> 00:20:47,220
Dierde, I am
warning you...
421
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:49,978
ah, ah, ah!
3...2..1.
422
00:20:49,914 --> 00:20:51,346
(FIRECRACKER GOES OFF)
423
00:20:51,344 --> 00:20:53,776
(DOG WHIMPERS)
424
00:21:54,993 --> 00:21:56,527
MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
425
00:21:56,528 --> 00:21:57,527
[BARKING]
426
00:21:57,528 --> 00:21:58,828
Moo.
427
00:21:58,878 --> 00:22:03,428
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