All language subtitles for Spin City s03e07 An Officer And A Gentleman.eng

I feel that you're
uncomfortable with therapy

and to deal with it,
you're treating our sessions

like one of your
press conferences.

Not true. Next question.

Look, this is all new stuff
for you.

It's understandable
if it's a little scary.

I'm not scared.

No, no, maybe you're scared
because I don't need you.

Analyze that.

Mike.

All right, you want me

to lay it out for you,
I'll lay it out for you.

I have intimacy issues.
I'm a workaholic.

I'm always surrounded
by people,

yet sometimes I feel
completely alone.

Can we take care
of that today?

Well...

Oh! And when I'm
in a cab,

sometimes I pretend I
control the driver's feet.

Why don't you just tell me what's
going on in your life right now?

Well, my best friend's
coming into town.

I haven't seen him in a while
'cause he's in the Navy.

But he's staying
with me for 2 weeks,

and I'm excited about this because
he's like homebase for me, you know?

That's a good start.

The best start
of any patient ever?

You can add hyper-competitive
to the list.

Is that like
the best list ever?

I think it's really good
that you're here.

I gotta tell you,
I'm a little concerned

that everyone's gonna be able to
tell that I'm seeing a shrink.

(ALL SAY GOOD MORNING
TO MIKE)

Good morning.

(MUNCHKIN VOICE) You
can tell, can't you?

Now, that's way
too much coffee.

Ok, now. As you all know, the
mayor's declared this Thursday

the first annual
tolerance day.

- Oh, Mike?
- Shut up, Paul.

I know what you're thinking. Yes, tolerance
day exists as a way to connect with

hard-to-reach communities during an election year.
But those of us less cynical

know that it's also about caring and
understanding and blah blah blah blah blah.

Flaherty! Incoming!

Whoa!!!!

Somebody... Do something!

Ooh, I love a man
in uniform.

I'm there.

I love 'em out
of uniform.

Still there.

Aaaaaaagggghhhhh!

Look out!

Whoa, hey,
boys and girls.

I want you to meet the finest
fighter pilot in the Navy.

Nate and I kicked a lot
of butts in our day.

Nate kicked a lot of butts. I was
in charge of taunting and running.

In school, Mike could say something
so mean it'd make your nose bleed.

Been there. He once
called me a crybaby.

Ha ha ha. Crybaby.

Oh, God.

Everybody out, everybody out. Let's go.
Nate and I got a lot of catching up to do.

- Nice meeting you.
- Everybody out. Here we go.

(BOTH YELLING)

Aagghhh! Aagghh!

So now what?

Hey, my cousin's
getting married in Paris!

I'm so sick of weddings.

All that pressure
to catch the bouquet.

You break one girl's collarbone,
and suddenly you're desperate.

I just wish I could
afford this.

I could help you out.

No, I got
a strict rule...

never take money
from a friend.

Hey, Stuart, can I
borrow 500 bucks?

Last time a woman asked me that
she was wearing a wire.

Stacy, tell you what
I'm gonna do.

Paul, you big
beautiful man.

You're gonna lend me
the money.

Ha ha ha ha.
Don't be ridiculous.

Lend you the money.

Stacy, I'm gonna teach you

something amazing
about money.

James, give me a dollar.

Let me tell you a little
about my philosophy.

Right in the hands.

Mike, I can't get
any further

on the inner city
mentoring program

until you call
the governor.

I'll call
this afternoon.

I can't believe it.
My old buddy newt

can get the governor
on the phone.

Newt.

Yeah, you know,
like, knute rockne.

No.

Like the tiny lizard.

Hey, I saw Rick streep a couple
of months ago.

Get this... he shaved
his head.

Huh? Ha ha ha. I mean, come on.
What a dufus, right?

Not that bald's
not beautiful.

No, no, look
at Uncle fester.

This is great.
I gotta tell you,

I really
needed this.

Me too, buddy.

Listen, I'm just gonna
hit the head.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Thought I meant go
to the bathroom, huh?

That one always kills them
in flight school.

Well, uh, Nate seems
like a great guy.

He is a great guy.
He's got it together.

He is so
self-actualized.

Mm-hmm. I'm sorry, did you
just say self-actualized?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.
You're in therapy.

No, I'm not.

I'd say you're
about 3 sessions in.

You're projecting.

4 sessions!

Janelle, are you getting ready
for tolerance day?

I already picked out
a tree.

You know, Christmas has Santa,
easter has the bunny.

We need a symbol... something
that tolerates man

no matter how trying
he may be.

Hmm. How about a woman?

Sir, James is working
on your tolerance day speech,

- and he's almost done.
- Barely started.

I hope eventually people celebrate
this day more than just once a year.

You know, sir, working with Stuart,
every day is tolerance day.

I find that offensive.

- I found it funny.
- Me too.

(SPORTS EVENT ON TV)

Does rags have to keep staring
at me like that?

You can move him, but
you'll have to touch him.

So you're bummed out
your buddy blew you off?

Naw. I know it's his first night in
town and everything, but still I...

Ok. I just can't deal
with this.

All right, here we go, rags.
There we are. Uggggghhhhh!

Where can I put him?

He likes the oven.

I think sports center's over.

Hey, why are you on TV?

STUART: Oh, baby.

Oh, what the hell
are you doing?!

Um...

It's just a little
home movie.

Aw!

You know what?
Let's go find Nate.

Mike, he could be
anywhere in the city.

Good point.
Let's split up.

He's probably hanging
with some old girlfriend.

The guy hasn't
seen me in 3 years.

He's not gonna blow
me off for some girl.

I told you.

(KNOCKING)

Good morning. You were
gone before I woke up.

Yeah, I had a lot
of work to do.

- I was up at 5:00 a.m.
- I have a paper route.

Mike...

I'm gay.

Are you sure?

Mike, can I come in?

Oh, come in, come out, we're
doing it all in here.

Mike, I just wanted
to talk to you about... Wow!

You look great today.

- Stop it.
- No, you stop it.

Why don't
you both stop.

Yes, you in the back.

No comment at this time.

Yes, madam?

No, sorry, still married.

Anyone else?
Anyone at all?

Yes, miss paterno.

What are you doing?

Scrimmaging.
Keeps me sharp,

on the edge,
where I gotta be.

Paul, I need your help.

Well, well, well.
Look who's come a-crawling.

Look! This isn't a
proud moment for me,

so let's do this
quickly,

or I'm gonna grab your
tie, pull it hard,

and smash you
in the head.

Point taken.
You got a budget?

Aha, aha, very good,
very good.

What's this $40 for?

Manicure.

Manicure!

Why do you think
you got teeth?

Stacy, the lassiter plan is not
for the casual penny pincher.

It takes sacrifice, dedication, and
a looser definition of hygiene.

And you're happy
living like that?

Happy. Who's happy?
I'm miserable.

But 20 years from now
when I retire,

Claudia and I are gonna
wipe the grins

from our face with
twenties... maybe fives.

And so that's how I
found out he was gay.

Interesting.

What? What's
interesting?

Well, it's kind
of a fun story.

Well, I'm here
to entertain you.

So you have a problem with
your friend being gay.

And how do you feel
about that?

Mike, I'm the therapist here.

The next time we're gonna work on
this control freak thing of yours.

Michael, I think
you're homophobic.

I'm definitely
not homophobic.

Then, it's quite possible you
have feelings for this Nate.

Ok, I'm a little
homophobic.

The bottom line is Nate's here
for 2 weeks.

He's gonna be with Carter, and there's
nothing you can do about that.

I can't believe I'm getting
shipped out tomorrow!

It's just nuts
is what it is.

Mike, Nate.
Guess who is so hip

he managed to wrangle a
table for 2 at po tonight?

Give you a hint.
It's me!

Listen, Carter, uh,
I just found out

I'm being
shipped out tomorrow.

So I thought, you know, I should spend
my last night in town with Mike.

Hey, why don't you come
with us?

Um, that's all right.

You guys need
some quality time.

I got laundry
to do anyway.

You sure?

Hey, Nate, guy's out
of socks.

I'll just see you next
time I'm in town.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's another 14 months?

Well, listen, I'm heading out.

You want me to drop you off
at my place?

Yeah, cool.

I'll call you
before I leave, Carter.

I'm sorry it worked out
this way.

See you.

So, why did you
have him shipped out?

Does every session
have to be about me?

Look, let's try a little
role-playing, all right?

Imagine that Carter is here.

You see, I can't do that.
Ever since last night,

every time I think of Carter,
I think of him kissing Nate.

Just picture Carter in an
environment you feel secure with.

Yo, Mike.

What's on your mind?

No, no.

(SPANISH MUSIC PLAYS)

Ol?.

Mike, can we get
on with this?

Ok, I'm good.

Ok, so you've just told
Carter what you did.

What's his reaction?

I forgive you, Mike.

In fact, it's probably
all my fault.

This technique is excellent.

Mike, I'm sorry
for being gay

and causing
all this trouble.

No problem, buddy.

Thanks, doc. This
is really helping.

"Every citizen will be washed

in a cleansing shower
of open-mindedness?"

I'm sorry, James,
we can't say this.

This could be offensive
to the French community.

I went to Paris
in the late sixties.

They all smoke, the women
don't shave their armpits...

Most romantic city
in the world, my ass.

Sir, you've made me rewrite
this speech 4 times.

First because I suggested that
everybody smile at their neighbors.

Smiling, James?

The British.

And then because I made a
reference to a chicken?

The chicken is sacred
to the Jamaican people.

What?

Voodoo!
Voodoo!

I can't believe you
had him shipped out.

You are the most
selfish person I know.

Carter, are you sure that's
really the way you feel?

Maybe you
forgive me.

Try it again.

Excuse me. Let me
run this by you guys.

Ok...

"Tolerance is about
standing outside yourself

"and seeing the world from
another man's perspective.

It's about empathy,
sensitivity, and respect."

Apparently, Mike thinks it's about
treachery, deceit, and betrayal.

I think I'm gonna
go with what I got.

I didn't do this
to hurt you.

Nate and I were
starting something.

Because you couldn't
handle it you sent him away,

now he's gonna
find somebody else.

Find who? He's gonna be on a
ship with 6,000...Men.

You take this out
on me if you want,

but I think you need
to ask yourself

who you really
have a problem with.

Carter... Carter, wait.

Oh, good, there you are.
What's that?

Doritos.

Doritos? Who are you,
the queen of england?

I didn't buy them.

I got them free from the delivery guy.
A whole case.

Greasy Charlie gave you
a free case of doritos?

Yeah, but I have to go to
dinner with him and his mother.

But, he's taking me to all-you-can-eat
buffet at chicken world.

Oh, you're very good.
Very good, stace.

I'm very proud of ya.
Now, don't forget.

Land o' plenty.

What are you doing?

Oh, my God.

I've become Paul.

Relax. If you were Paul, you
would have spent the morning

scouring the parking lot
for change.

(CHANGE RATTLING)

Hey, newt, you
ready to head out?

Yeah. Uh, Nate, just...
Come on in for a second.

I just wanna talk to
you about something.

You, uh, you, uh,
being, uh, gay.

Uh, does make me
a little uncomfortable.

No!

It's just that I have almost
30 years of memories of you

and... and... I don't know
what to make of them now.

You know, what...
ok, what about that time

I'm at my place, right,
and I was just chillin',

and I'm sitting
in the tub,

you come in, you take off all your
clothes, and you get in with me.

You know, what was that?

Mike, we were 4.

So, you're claiming there
was no sexual tension.

Hey, no... no... no.
Come on, come on.

Don't... don't
laugh at me, ok?

I'm angry enough as it is.

You're angry at me?

You didn't trust me

enough to tell me.

Mike, you know,
when you did find out,

you acted like
a complete idiot.

But you didn't trust me

long before I acted
like a complete idiot,

and I think that's what we
should be focusing on here.

Look, Mike, if you can't
handle this, I understand.

Maybe we should
just move on.

Oh, come on, and do what, Nate?
Like, end the friendship?

It's just... you've had
your whole life

to come to terms with this,
and I've had 2 days.

How much time
do you need?

I don't know, man.
I'm still reeling

from my mom going on her
first date since the divorce.

- When was that?
- That was April.

1989.

- Let's grab a beer.
- Good idea.

All right, now
that's not funny.

Mr. mayor, we're
on in 5...4...

3...2...

Hello, New York.

I'm here to introduce
tolerance day.

A new holiday
for our city.

Of course,
there's no parade

and you don't
get the day off,

but bus and subway service
will be affected.

What is tolerance?

I think the answer lies
in what tolerance is not.

Prejudice,

malice,

small-mindedness.

Sure, there are days

when we think
everything's ok.

But it seems like every
month it happens again.

A time of
irrational behavior,

resentment towards mankind,

it's as if half the city
has gone completely nuts.

There isn't
a single American family

that isn't affected by this.

And I, for one, won't
stand for it anymore.

Thank you.

Have a good day.

Hey, good morning,
sunshine.

Now that Nate's gone,

you think everything's
back to normal?

You know, Carter,

why don't you take
the rest of the day off?

And do what, Mike?

- Oh, I don't know.
- (MUSIC STARTS)

hey, stace,
what's the matter?

What's the matter? I'm
sticking to your stupid plan,

all I saved was
28 bucks for Paris.

- You stopped frivolous spending?
- Yeah.

So you've learned
to change your ways.

Yeah.

Here you go, kid.
Have a good time.

Thank you! Oh, my...

it's a bus ticket
to Atlantic city.

I'd put it all
on black.

Maybe red.

MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

[BARKING]

Moo.

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