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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,433
I wanna have
a big family.
2
00:00:07,432 --> 00:00:08,498
6 kids.
3
00:00:08,514 --> 00:00:10,814
Yeah? I'm gonna
go with 2.
4
00:00:10,773 --> 00:00:11,905
How about 5?
5
00:00:11,919 --> 00:00:13,652
Well, if I meet
the right person,
6
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:16,571
I suppose I could compromise,
go with 3.
7
00:00:16,502 --> 00:00:17,568
Noted.
8
00:00:19,111 --> 00:00:20,444
Look at this guy.
9
00:00:20,447 --> 00:00:21,546
Can't stop
campaigning.
10
00:00:21,561 --> 00:00:24,694
Look alive, junior.
Here comes the heater.
11
00:00:24,617 --> 00:00:25,816
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
12
00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,992
This is the clip
you're gonna want
13
00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:29,957
for the evening news.
14
00:01:08,755 --> 00:01:11,388
Why did it have to
be baseball, Mike?
15
00:01:11,333 --> 00:01:12,931
Why not polo?
16
00:01:12,924 --> 00:01:14,689
I'd like to go back
to that field
17
00:01:14,674 --> 00:01:16,274
with my mallet
and my horse
18
00:01:16,266 --> 00:01:18,165
and show them
a real man's sport.
19
00:01:18,143 --> 00:01:20,575
Well, sir, your horse's
name is Ms. muffy.
20
00:01:21,962 --> 00:01:23,260
No, it's not, Mike.
21
00:01:23,266 --> 00:01:26,098
It's little Ms. muffy.
22
00:01:26,035 --> 00:01:27,900
Well, don't worry
about it, sir.
23
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,447
Your constituents
are concerned with
24
00:01:29,440 --> 00:01:31,005
your policy,
not your fastball.
25
00:01:30,999 --> 00:01:33,965
So what's the fallout
from "wussy pitch '98?"
26
00:01:33,895 --> 00:01:36,395
Our approval ratings
have dropped 2%
27
00:01:36,345 --> 00:01:37,945
with men 18 to 49.
28
00:01:37,937 --> 00:01:42,535
But look. We went up
.10% with women over 80.
29
00:01:42,391 --> 00:01:44,123
That's great, Nikki.
The election's in 6 months.
30
00:01:44,110 --> 00:01:45,844
If we want these women
to vote for us,
31
00:01:45,829 --> 00:01:47,762
they're gonna have to
leave the house now.
32
00:01:51,874 --> 00:01:53,807
There's gotta be something
happening in this city
33
00:01:53,784 --> 00:01:55,650
that can boost
the mayor's masculinity.
34
00:01:55,630 --> 00:01:57,963
There's a charity barbecue
over at firehouse 168.
35
00:01:57,921 --> 00:01:59,787
A bunch of rugged guys
drinking beer.
36
00:01:59,768 --> 00:02:01,300
I like that.
That's a good start.
37
00:02:01,294 --> 00:02:02,727
You know,
this is so unfair.
38
00:02:02,726 --> 00:02:05,592
The mayor is a virile,
muscular, strapping man
39
00:02:05,527 --> 00:02:07,559
with pecs that
will not quit.
40
00:02:09,409 --> 00:02:11,342
Well, it's the truth
of modern politics, kids.
41
00:02:11,319 --> 00:02:12,719
Image is everything.
42
00:02:12,719 --> 00:02:14,318
Spiffy, huh?
43
00:02:29,586 --> 00:02:31,385
Stuart, we're already
40 minutes late for work,
44
00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:34,333
and that woman you brought
home is still in the shower.
45
00:02:34,264 --> 00:02:37,396
She was very dirty.
46
00:02:41,615 --> 00:02:44,547
Stuart, do you have
to go to work, 'cause...
47
00:02:44,479 --> 00:02:46,478
I'm ready to go
another round.
48
00:02:47,597 --> 00:02:50,463
Ahh. The gay roommate.
49
00:02:50,398 --> 00:02:52,664
So this...
50
00:02:52,625 --> 00:02:54,225
Means nothing to you?
51
00:02:58,450 --> 00:03:01,148
Hey, James, did you draft
my letter to the governor?
52
00:03:01,091 --> 00:03:03,090
We have to sweet-talk him
on this transportation bill.
53
00:03:03,064 --> 00:03:05,296
"Dear snookums."
54
00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:07,992
I think you wanna
pull back a little.
55
00:03:07,933 --> 00:03:09,099
That's a letter from
my old girlfriend.
56
00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:10,043
Here you go, Mike.
57
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,498
Beauty.
Oh, hey, Paul.
58
00:03:11,497 --> 00:03:13,096
I need you to
come with me
59
00:03:13,088 --> 00:03:14,354
to the firemen's
barbecue tonight.
60
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,460
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
61
00:03:15,475 --> 00:03:16,674
No can do, Mike, no.
62
00:03:16,685 --> 00:03:18,783
No, I'm planning something
special for Claudia
63
00:03:18,752 --> 00:03:21,718
to thank her for
the beautiful gift.
64
00:03:21,648 --> 00:03:24,014
O.K., Paul,
I want to see you
65
00:03:23,972 --> 00:03:26,471
and that radiator you're
wearing in my office.
66
00:03:26,421 --> 00:03:28,954
It was nice
getting to know ya.
67
00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,403
I want to see you again.
68
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:32,666
Ha!
What?
69
00:03:32,627 --> 00:03:34,960
No woman's ever
said that to me before.
70
00:03:36,956 --> 00:03:41,321
Excuse me. The tub
is filled with hair.
71
00:03:41,188 --> 00:03:43,021
Why don't you
fish it out
72
00:03:43,002 --> 00:03:45,201
and paste it
on your head?
73
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,786
O.K., you know,
Paul,
74
00:03:48,794 --> 00:03:50,160
ever since
you got married,
75
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,128
you have been
nothing but excuses.
76
00:03:52,103 --> 00:03:54,435
Well, that's not true.
77
00:03:54,394 --> 00:03:56,861
Come on, Paul. You've
been married 5 months.
78
00:03:56,813 --> 00:03:59,445
You celebrated your
anniversary 7 times.
79
00:04:00,472 --> 00:04:02,471
Mike, Claudia needs me.
80
00:04:02,446 --> 00:04:03,677
I need you.
81
00:04:03,686 --> 00:04:04,919
Claudia depends on me.
82
00:04:04,927 --> 00:04:05,926
I depend on you.
83
00:04:05,947 --> 00:04:07,778
Claudia gives me
sweet lovin'.
84
00:04:11,450 --> 00:04:13,017
I depend on you.
85
00:04:20,997 --> 00:04:22,930
Sir, you were great
at the barbecue.
86
00:04:22,907 --> 00:04:26,073
You were confident, you were one
of the guys, you were very funny.
87
00:04:25,995 --> 00:04:27,826
Come on, come on. Less
talkin' and more walkin'.
88
00:04:27,808 --> 00:04:30,108
O.K., the shortcut to the
limo's right through here.
89
00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:32,168
Whoa, hold up, fellas.
Tying my shoe.
90
00:04:32,137 --> 00:04:33,736
Oh, come on,
Mr. mayor.
91
00:04:33,728 --> 00:04:34,827
Please, come on.
92
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:37,273
Claudia was expecting me
home half an hour ago.
93
00:04:37,227 --> 00:04:38,794
Paul, you know what?
Enough about Claudia.
94
00:04:38,788 --> 00:04:40,754
Oh, but,
I was supposed to
95
00:04:40,729 --> 00:04:42,361
wash Claudia's
hair tonight.
96
00:04:43,562 --> 00:04:44,893
Well, isn't
that romantic.
97
00:04:44,897 --> 00:04:46,863
Yeah, but
I wanted to finish
98
00:04:46,838 --> 00:04:48,338
before she got home.
99
00:04:52,981 --> 00:04:54,080
This is a dead end.
100
00:04:54,096 --> 00:04:55,861
Oh, that's just great.
101
00:04:55,846 --> 00:04:57,277
Maybe we could throw
your belt buckle
102
00:04:57,277 --> 00:04:59,342
up over the fence.
How would that help?
103
00:04:59,313 --> 00:05:02,279
I'm just saying it's
something we could do.
104
00:05:02,210 --> 00:05:04,710
What imbecile would put
a fence up here?
105
00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:06,725
"By order of mayor Randall..."
106
00:05:06,696 --> 00:05:07,895
hey, sir, that's you!
107
00:05:09,497 --> 00:05:11,729
I'm sure it's probably just
to ensure public safety.
108
00:05:11,692 --> 00:05:13,025
VOICE: Give me your wallets.
109
00:05:13,030 --> 00:05:14,594
I think it backfired.
110
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,320
What are you doing?
111
00:05:23,308 --> 00:05:25,708
It's the letter from
James' old girlfriend.
112
00:05:30,722 --> 00:05:31,688
We shouldn't.
113
00:05:31,709 --> 00:05:32,742
We can't.
114
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,293
It'd be wrong.
115
00:05:35,243 --> 00:05:38,242
O.K., so let's just say we each
look down and we read one word.
116
00:05:38,169 --> 00:05:39,502
That will get it
out of our systems.
117
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:40,773
On the count of 3.
1, 2, 3.
118
00:05:44,248 --> 00:05:45,980
I got "wish."
119
00:05:45,966 --> 00:05:47,265
I got "friend."
120
00:05:47,271 --> 00:05:49,503
I got, "I laid
in bed sweating,
121
00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:52,466
thinking about the things
you used to do to me."
122
00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:56,066
All right...
123
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,421
I'm gonna
turn around now.
124
00:05:57,422 --> 00:05:58,688
Mike... Mike... Mike... Mike.
125
00:05:58,696 --> 00:06:00,595
We were expressly instructed
not to turn around.
126
00:06:00,573 --> 00:06:01,672
Do it, Mike.
127
00:06:03,659 --> 00:06:05,359
Hey, guys, good news.
128
00:06:05,346 --> 00:06:07,645
This little girl
scared the mugger away.
129
00:06:08,783 --> 00:06:11,782
Mike, she's
got a weapon.
130
00:06:11,711 --> 00:06:14,710
Paul, it's
a Turkey fork.
131
00:06:14,638 --> 00:06:16,938
All I know is if
I don't get some money,
132
00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:17,864
someone's gonna get stuck.
133
00:06:17,884 --> 00:06:20,017
Young lady, do
you know who I am?
134
00:06:19,985 --> 00:06:21,351
No.
135
00:06:21,354 --> 00:06:23,286
Aw, Mike, it's
an election year.
136
00:06:24,822 --> 00:06:27,088
Hand over that
belt buckle, Paul.
137
00:06:27,049 --> 00:06:29,515
How does she
know my name?
138
00:06:32,237 --> 00:06:33,769
Maybe she's
the psychic mugger.
139
00:06:36,978 --> 00:06:39,544
Ask her if I'm gonna
win the election.
140
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:45,132
Look, sweetheart, you don't
want this belt buckle, O.K.?
141
00:06:45,062 --> 00:06:46,660
This is crap.
It's made of tin.
142
00:06:46,653 --> 00:06:49,019
What are you, kidding?
This is silver!
143
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:50,909
It's worth
hundreds of dollars!
144
00:06:52,031 --> 00:06:54,330
Oh. Here we go.
145
00:06:56,073 --> 00:06:59,005
Now, everyone cough
up their wallets.
146
00:06:58,937 --> 00:07:01,002
Huh, O.K.
This is stupid!
147
00:07:00,973 --> 00:07:02,539
You know what
we're gonna do?
148
00:07:02,532 --> 00:07:03,598
We're gonna take her.
149
00:07:03,615 --> 00:07:05,447
I'm gonna count to 3,
150
00:07:05,429 --> 00:07:07,061
and we're gonna go.
Ready? On 3.
151
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:09,684
1...2...3.
152
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,266
Here you go.
Here you go.
153
00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,369
I said, "on 3."
154
00:07:19,336 --> 00:07:22,801
Oh, I thought you meant
1...2...3...Go.
155
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,874
No, sir.
That would be 4.
156
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,992
Mr. mayor, new plan.
157
00:07:29,964 --> 00:07:31,596
Run away on 3.
158
00:07:31,587 --> 00:07:32,952
3!
159
00:07:37,125 --> 00:07:39,057
Whoo! This sauce
is making me
160
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:40,599
work up a lather.
161
00:07:56,154 --> 00:07:58,119
Can't you two go
to Deirdre's place?
162
00:07:58,095 --> 00:07:59,994
I have a roommate.
163
00:07:59,973 --> 00:08:01,905
Is she up for
a threesome?
164
00:08:01,883 --> 00:08:03,315
Earn it.
165
00:08:06,179 --> 00:08:07,344
Hey, um...
166
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:08,655
Thank you.
167
00:08:09,998 --> 00:08:11,196
Ha ha ha.
168
00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:12,272
Stuart, you're not
gonna sit there
169
00:08:12,288 --> 00:08:13,822
and tell me that
you like this woman.
170
00:08:13,817 --> 00:08:17,748
No, she's a horrible shrew,
and I despise her.
171
00:08:17,635 --> 00:08:18,800
Then why?
172
00:08:18,812 --> 00:08:21,578
Ding! What is sex, Alex?
173
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:29,238
I never thought I would
say this to you, but...
174
00:08:29,154 --> 00:08:31,687
You're too good
for that woman.
175
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:33,536
DEIRDRE: Stuart,
get in here.
176
00:08:33,514 --> 00:08:35,914
Stuart, you have to break
up with her right now.
177
00:08:35,871 --> 00:08:36,902
You're right.
178
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:38,719
I'm gonna do it
right now.
179
00:08:38,702 --> 00:08:40,067
Yes!
180
00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:46,782
She tied herself
to the bed.
181
00:08:54,740 --> 00:08:56,173
Well, this, uh...
182
00:08:56,172 --> 00:08:57,671
This is just beautiful.
183
00:08:57,668 --> 00:08:59,234
Well, the important
thing, Mike,
184
00:08:59,228 --> 00:09:01,660
is no one got hurt.
185
00:09:03,524 --> 00:09:04,822
What's that
on your face?
186
00:09:04,828 --> 00:09:07,294
Oh, that would be
my blood, sir.
187
00:09:07,248 --> 00:09:08,646
Ah, Mike.
188
00:09:08,647 --> 00:09:09,579
Here.
189
00:09:09,602 --> 00:09:10,668
Thanks.
190
00:09:12,116 --> 00:09:14,781
Ahh, don't use the side
with the monogram.
191
00:09:17,717 --> 00:09:18,783
(BLOWING)
192
00:09:20,581 --> 00:09:22,147
You know, you add this
193
00:09:22,141 --> 00:09:24,573
to the old Winston
fastball,
194
00:09:24,527 --> 00:09:26,259
I'm really gonna
get crucified.
195
00:09:26,245 --> 00:09:29,445
No, no you won't, sir,
because this did not happen.
196
00:09:29,364 --> 00:09:31,596
I'm going to
make it go away.
197
00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,259
You can do that?
198
00:09:33,247 --> 00:09:34,846
Ooh, nobody can stop me.
199
00:09:34,837 --> 00:09:37,470
Mike... Mike... Mike... Mike!
I got the cops!
200
00:09:42,061 --> 00:09:43,594
Except, of course, Paul.
201
00:09:53,486 --> 00:09:55,851
"Assailant remains
unidentified."
202
00:09:55,809 --> 00:09:57,475
Great, we're golden. James,
in your press release,
203
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:59,262
why don't you change all
the "shes" to "hes",
204
00:09:59,246 --> 00:10:02,245
and talk about how the mayor bravely
fought to protect his aides.
205
00:10:02,174 --> 00:10:05,840
Don't forget to mention
my belt buckle.
206
00:10:05,738 --> 00:10:06,671
All right, Paul,
207
00:10:06,692 --> 00:10:08,324
all morning
with this.
208
00:10:08,315 --> 00:10:09,881
Go ahead.
Say "belt buckle"
209
00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:12,673
to me one more time.
210
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:13,911
I dare ya.
211
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,116
Belt...
212
00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:20,406
yeah, that buckle comes
out of your mouth,
213
00:10:20,377 --> 00:10:22,175
it's going straight
back down your throat.
214
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,022
Well, I just
want everybody
215
00:10:26,009 --> 00:10:27,442
to know I'm O.K.
216
00:10:27,441 --> 00:10:29,074
It was pretty scary,
though.
217
00:10:29,065 --> 00:10:31,229
Should have seen
this guy, he was...
218
00:10:31,196 --> 00:10:32,362
sir?
Yeah.
219
00:10:32,373 --> 00:10:33,373
They all know.
220
00:10:33,391 --> 00:10:35,057
Oh.
221
00:10:35,046 --> 00:10:37,112
Paul ran like a sissy.
222
00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:43,761
Hi, James.
223
00:10:45,580 --> 00:10:46,612
You're lookin' good.
224
00:10:48,571 --> 00:10:50,570
Damn this machine.
It's stuck again.
225
00:10:50,544 --> 00:10:52,243
Hey, Stuart, relax.
226
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:54,997
You just gotta know how to take
care of a machine like this.
227
00:10:54,936 --> 00:10:57,035
Treat her right.
228
00:10:57,004 --> 00:11:01,037
She needs a sweet,
tender touch.
229
00:11:00,918 --> 00:11:04,018
Let's just start with
the two toner knobs.
230
00:11:03,942 --> 00:11:06,908
Now...
231
00:11:06,838 --> 00:11:10,470
The tendency is to want to
twist them and grab them.
232
00:11:13,935 --> 00:11:17,199
You want to
be gentle, huh?
233
00:11:17,116 --> 00:11:19,549
Almost caress them.
234
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,755
Now the real key to this
machine is down here.
235
00:11:25,709 --> 00:11:27,009
It's called
the loading tray.
236
00:11:29,527 --> 00:11:30,961
You know, most guys
237
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,026
can't even find
the loading tray.
238
00:11:36,052 --> 00:11:37,484
How long you gonna be?
239
00:11:37,485 --> 00:11:40,183
Hey, I'm gonna be down
here as long as it takes.
240
00:11:44,802 --> 00:11:45,935
There we go.
All done.
241
00:11:45,948 --> 00:11:46,881
Finally.
242
00:11:46,904 --> 00:11:48,070
Hey... hey!
Whoa... whoa... whoa!
243
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,247
She's just getting
warmed up.
244
00:11:49,259 --> 00:11:50,557
What's the rush
to put paper in?
245
00:11:50,563 --> 00:11:51,896
Yeah!
246
00:11:53,299 --> 00:11:55,298
That's why
women hate you.
247
00:12:03,484 --> 00:12:04,782
I'm going to kinko's.
248
00:12:06,697 --> 00:12:08,629
I'd rather pay for it.
249
00:12:18,982 --> 00:12:20,914
Mike, the cop and the
sketch artist are here.
250
00:12:20,892 --> 00:12:23,323
All right. Uh, sir, listen,
it might be better
251
00:12:23,277 --> 00:12:25,376
if you let Paul
and me handle this.
252
00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:27,278
I understand.
253
00:12:27,255 --> 00:12:28,354
But...
254
00:12:28,369 --> 00:12:30,735
I'm not proud.
255
00:12:30,692 --> 00:12:32,625
I mean, what
kind of politician
256
00:12:32,601 --> 00:12:35,167
would let his closest
aides lie for him?
257
00:12:38,743 --> 00:12:39,808
Ahhh...
258
00:12:42,371 --> 00:12:44,370
You almost
got me there.
259
00:12:48,417 --> 00:12:49,349
So...
260
00:12:49,372 --> 00:12:51,238
What can we do
for you guys?
261
00:12:51,217 --> 00:12:52,783
Just looking for
a basic description.
262
00:12:52,777 --> 00:12:54,242
All right,
he was a big guy.
263
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:55,807
Very, very big,
and you know what?
264
00:12:55,801 --> 00:12:57,733
Very, very hairy ears,
'cause, you know,
265
00:12:57,710 --> 00:13:00,775
your bigger guys,
they get that.
266
00:13:00,701 --> 00:13:02,166
Any features
you remember?
267
00:13:02,165 --> 00:13:03,931
High cheekbones,
pouty lips.
268
00:13:09,993 --> 00:13:11,359
Paul...
269
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:13,946
Belt buckle.
270
00:13:20,018 --> 00:13:22,017
All right, we
gotta find this girl
271
00:13:21,991 --> 00:13:22,990
before the cops do.
272
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:24,275
You know,
I didn't tell Claudia
273
00:13:24,282 --> 00:13:26,248
about the belt buckle.
It'd crush her.
274
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:27,889
I'm sure by now
it's been
275
00:13:27,879 --> 00:13:29,811
snatched up on
the black market
276
00:13:29,788 --> 00:13:32,154
by some
Colombian druglord.
277
00:13:32,111 --> 00:13:33,810
And who would that be?
278
00:13:33,798 --> 00:13:36,430
Carlos "the Paul" Escobar?
279
00:13:37,807 --> 00:13:39,873
You know, I am
trying real hard
280
00:13:39,844 --> 00:13:40,943
to stay calm here,
281
00:13:40,958 --> 00:13:42,224
but I cannot believe
282
00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:43,829
we got mugged
by a girl.
283
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,387
(BELL RINGS)
284
00:13:50,505 --> 00:13:53,304
A catholic school girl.
285
00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:55,107
The mayor's in trouble,
he's out of trouble.
286
00:13:55,087 --> 00:13:56,819
You can't live
and die by it.
287
00:13:56,806 --> 00:13:58,005
I do, Paul.
288
00:13:58,014 --> 00:13:59,747
Well, sure, you do.
You got nothing else.
289
00:13:59,734 --> 00:14:01,999
Oh yeah? Well,
your life is a car,
290
00:14:01,961 --> 00:14:03,293
and Claudia is driving it.
291
00:14:03,298 --> 00:14:05,030
What are you saying?
292
00:14:05,016 --> 00:14:06,381
(WHIPPING SOUND)
293
00:14:11,635 --> 00:14:14,234
You're whipped,
married boy.
294
00:14:14,181 --> 00:14:15,913
What kind of
an insult is that?
295
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:17,632
Well, it's just
like mama's boy,
296
00:14:17,618 --> 00:14:19,217
only with your wife.
297
00:14:19,209 --> 00:14:20,376
Oh, yeah?
298
00:14:20,387 --> 00:14:22,019
Mayor's boy.
299
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:29,082
I'm sorry.
300
00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:31,107
Did you just poke me?
301
00:14:32,256 --> 00:14:33,288
Maybe.
302
00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:37,005
All right,
before we do this,
303
00:14:36,902 --> 00:14:38,934
you might wanna call home
304
00:14:38,907 --> 00:14:41,006
and ask Claudia if it's O.K.
305
00:14:40,977 --> 00:14:43,009
If I kick your ass.
306
00:14:42,981 --> 00:14:45,146
All right, that's it.
307
00:14:45,113 --> 00:14:47,979
Time for big daddy to
bring home the pain.
308
00:14:47,913 --> 00:14:52,712
GIRLS: Fight! Fight!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
309
00:15:03,061 --> 00:15:04,492
What do you
think you're doing?
310
00:15:04,492 --> 00:15:05,791
I'm turning off my TV.
311
00:15:05,799 --> 00:15:06,931
No, it's my TV.
312
00:15:06,944 --> 00:15:09,743
Stuart gave it to me
after a quickie.
313
00:15:17,731 --> 00:15:19,164
Deirdre,
314
00:15:19,163 --> 00:15:21,062
Stuart wants to
break up with you.
315
00:15:21,041 --> 00:15:22,806
Is this true, Stuart?
316
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:24,557
Yeah.
317
00:15:34,438 --> 00:15:35,871
Oohhhh.
318
00:15:35,870 --> 00:15:36,803
Carter.
319
00:15:36,825 --> 00:15:37,758
Stuart! Stuart!
320
00:15:37,780 --> 00:15:40,112
Go to your room
and lock the door.
321
00:15:44,145 --> 00:15:47,044
Your heterosexual powers
have no effect on me.
322
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:50,773
Break's over.
323
00:15:56,396 --> 00:15:57,795
Where were we?
324
00:16:00,215 --> 00:16:01,281
Right.
325
00:16:08,807 --> 00:16:10,639
Just tell me when
we officially start.
326
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:12,154
All right... Now!
327
00:16:12,149 --> 00:16:14,415
Ow! Ow! Ow!
328
00:16:14,377 --> 00:16:16,576
Ow! Why are we
doing this?
329
00:16:16,541 --> 00:16:17,540
Because you...
330
00:16:17,558 --> 00:16:18,957
Have lost
your passion...
331
00:16:18,959 --> 00:16:20,391
For the job.
332
00:16:25,993 --> 00:16:27,058
You know what?
333
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:30,439
You're not a fighter
anymore, Paul.
334
00:16:30,351 --> 00:16:32,518
You don't care
about me.
335
00:16:32,484 --> 00:16:35,483
Nobody cares about
you more than I do.
336
00:16:35,412 --> 00:16:38,478
Ow! Ow... ow...
ow... ow... ow... ow!
337
00:16:38,404 --> 00:16:39,801
Claudia does!
338
00:16:39,802 --> 00:16:41,069
Aw, Claudia,
Claudia, Claudia.
339
00:16:41,076 --> 00:16:42,975
Will you shut up
about Claudia!
340
00:16:42,954 --> 00:16:44,752
Ahhhhh!
341
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:51,875
You just can't stand
to see me happy.
342
00:16:51,769 --> 00:16:53,233
How can you be happy?
343
00:16:53,232 --> 00:16:55,198
I just am!
344
00:16:58,674 --> 00:16:59,873
Ooomph! Ah!
345
00:16:59,883 --> 00:17:01,815
Sugar!
346
00:17:04,529 --> 00:17:06,229
You throw like
the mayor.
347
00:17:08,539 --> 00:17:12,905
Mike! Mike!
What's your problem?
348
00:17:12,772 --> 00:17:15,237
You wanna know what
my problem is?
349
00:17:15,190 --> 00:17:17,456
I'll tell you what
my problem is.
350
00:17:17,417 --> 00:17:19,117
I'm jealous of you.
351
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,840
Really?
352
00:17:23,815 --> 00:17:25,180
Yeah.
353
00:17:26,964 --> 00:17:28,897
See, every night
you go home
354
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:31,506
to this beautiful woman
who loves you,
355
00:17:31,452 --> 00:17:33,984
and I go home to
an empty apartment.
356
00:17:33,934 --> 00:17:37,066
Every morning
when you come in,
357
00:17:36,988 --> 00:17:40,387
I just think about how
much I want what you have.
358
00:17:40,298 --> 00:17:41,264
You want it?
Yeah.
359
00:17:41,284 --> 00:17:42,484
You got it.
360
00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:54,532
Good night, everybody.
361
00:17:54,523 --> 00:17:55,589
Wait a minute, James.
362
00:17:57,165 --> 00:18:00,097
We, um, we read
your letter.
363
00:18:00,029 --> 00:18:01,595
We need to know what...
364
00:18:01,588 --> 00:18:04,587
The trick is.
365
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:05,548
What trick?
366
00:18:05,566 --> 00:18:09,132
You know, the thing.
367
00:18:09,035 --> 00:18:11,201
The thing you do
with your hands.
368
00:18:11,167 --> 00:18:13,366
It's hard to describe.
You want me to show you?
369
00:18:14,763 --> 00:18:17,096
Yeah, what the hell.
I'll get my coat.
370
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,297
I can do it to
you right here.
371
00:18:20,268 --> 00:18:21,334
Yeah.
372
00:18:22,878 --> 00:18:24,211
Turn around.
373
00:18:25,837 --> 00:18:28,770
And, uh,
cross your arms.
374
00:18:28,701 --> 00:18:30,500
Be very still.
375
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:32,850
Oh, I've done this.
376
00:18:36,021 --> 00:18:37,087
(CRACK)
377
00:18:40,317 --> 00:18:41,616
That's it?
378
00:18:41,622 --> 00:18:43,188
That's your trick?
379
00:18:43,181 --> 00:18:45,580
Oh, what a letdown.
380
00:18:45,536 --> 00:18:47,801
Ohhhh...
381
00:18:47,764 --> 00:18:49,563
Damn.
382
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,312
That was amazing.
383
00:18:52,251 --> 00:18:54,250
Can you do it
to me again?
384
00:18:54,224 --> 00:18:57,223
I'm gonna need
a few minutes, Stacy.
385
00:19:02,752 --> 00:19:04,185
Gotta tell ya.
386
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,750
You got a hell of
a left cross there, boss.
387
00:19:06,698 --> 00:19:08,998
Thanks, Paul.
You've got, uh...
388
00:19:08,958 --> 00:19:10,524
Some sharp nails.
389
00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:13,809
What happened
to you two?
390
00:19:13,827 --> 00:19:16,893
Ah, just a little
male bonding.
391
00:19:16,818 --> 00:19:18,484
Hey, Mike.
392
00:19:20,287 --> 00:19:22,353
This girl had
the mayor's credit card.
393
00:19:22,323 --> 00:19:25,256
She said she
just found it.
394
00:19:25,187 --> 00:19:27,486
Is this the person
that mugged you?
395
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:39,679
Never saw her
before in my life.
396
00:19:39,667 --> 00:19:41,033
Told you.
397
00:19:41,035 --> 00:19:44,001
Now, wait, wait
a minute, officer.
398
00:19:43,931 --> 00:19:44,864
Yeah, that's him.
399
00:19:44,886 --> 00:19:46,286
I mean, you know,
that's her.
400
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,018
Are you sure?
Yeah.
401
00:19:48,005 --> 00:19:49,771
Just, uh...
402
00:19:51,759 --> 00:19:53,092
Here you go, pauly.
403
00:19:54,370 --> 00:19:56,969
Burn this in your
memory, sweetheart.
404
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,396
You can sketch it
in cellblock c.
405
00:20:03,885 --> 00:20:05,784
Hey, Paul, why don't you
go home to Claudia?
406
00:20:05,763 --> 00:20:07,960
What are we gonna do
about the mayor?
407
00:20:07,925 --> 00:20:09,625
Aw, don't worry about it.
I'll handle it.
408
00:20:09,613 --> 00:20:12,312
There's a thousand ways to
make him more masculine.
409
00:20:23,010 --> 00:20:24,341
Stuart?
410
00:20:24,346 --> 00:20:26,513
Did you break up with
Deirdre last night?
411
00:20:26,479 --> 00:20:29,977
Yes. We're finished.
It's over.
412
00:20:29,883 --> 00:20:31,982
So you didn't have
sex with her
413
00:20:31,952 --> 00:20:33,917
in my room
while I was out.
414
00:20:33,893 --> 00:20:36,859
No.
415
00:20:36,789 --> 00:20:38,754
Then why were
my family photos
416
00:20:38,730 --> 00:20:40,463
lined up on
my nightstand?
417
00:20:40,450 --> 00:20:42,949
Deirdre likes
an audience.
418
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:45,643
I'm here for you.
419
00:20:45,637 --> 00:20:47,569
What are you two
yapping about?
420
00:20:47,546 --> 00:20:50,478
We're trying to figure out some way
to break up with Stuart's girlfriend.
421
00:20:50,410 --> 00:20:53,309
Why don't you just remind
her she's dating Stuart?
422
00:21:52,367 --> 00:21:53,833
MAN: Sit, ubu, sit.Good dog.
423
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,033
(BARKING)
424
00:21:55,034 --> 00:21:56,100
Moo.
425
00:21:56,150 --> 00:22:00,700
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