All language subtitles for Spin City s02e11 They Shoot Horses Don .Eng

Yo, the stylish man about town

whose brand-new,
silk-lined calfskin jacket

says-nay screams-

I'm bad...

I'm nationwide.

The salesperson says it brings out
the many subtle shadings of me-

pensive...

Strong...

Sexy.

Are you sure that
you're sexy, Mike?

For the real sexy,
I wear nothing but the jacket.

Please stick with
pensive and strong.

Good morning.
Good morning.

Did anyone see that documentary
on american pottery last night?

O.k., why does everyone around
here think I'm the dull one?

I don't know, James.
Why don't we ask your shiny rock collection?

Last night I watched this beautiful
video about 2 lonely women

who find love and passion
in each other's arms.

Really?
What was it called?

I haven't titled it yet.

I wrote a how-do-you-do letter
to my new anonymous friend.

Using "anonymous" and "friend"
together is missing the concept.

No, no.
She's my pen pal.

My church set us up through their
lonely christians program.

O.k. Again I'd like to challenge
my status as the dull one.

In my letter I described
myself as witty, well-read,

possessing a certain
natural Grace.

Next order of business-
the office refrigerator. Paul...

As much as we admire
your thrift,

your leftovers are becoming
a danger to the community.

Is that nasty, half-eaten tuna
fish sandwich still in there?

Oh, yeah. And it's taken
a bottle of ketchup

and 2 ring dings hostage.

The dry cleaner said he can
clean the coat, no problem.

Ah, I love mr. Kim.
Yeah, but he was lying.

How can you know that?

I can tell when people
are lying. It's a gift.

- I have a friend who can do the same thing.
- No, you don't.

O.k., it's a friend
of a friend.

So, the other day when Carter said he was
feeling sick and he had to go home early...

Hey, I-I was
feeling a little...

Sale at Barney's.

What if I were to say...

That I were the world's
greatest lover.

I'd say
you believe it to be true.

All right.
That's good enough for me.

O.k. Last item.

Mayor's daughter Meg is flying in from
Berkeley for a visit. Why is this good?

'Cause it means
college girls are on vacation?

No. It is an opportunity
to show him

as a normal family guy,
a struggling single parent

like any other
struggling single parent,

except for the mansion, the limo,
and the staff of servants.

She was adorable
in the mayor's campaign ads.

Girl scout uniform was a vote-getter.
Wonder if she could still squeeze into it.

Hi, everybody.

Hey, Meg. How are you?

Good.

I'd like to see her try.

- Stuart?
- What? It wasn't me!

You are coming along nicely.

Why don't we wait till
after the press conference?

Come on. Your dad's
dying to see you,

and, uh, you look great.

You hate the shirt.
No, I love the shirt.

They didn't have one your size?

Then it's about
the belly ring, isn't it?

I am crazy about
the belly ring.

Maybe we can hook
the, uh, shirt onto it.

Mike,
this is my favorite shirt.

I am not gonna defile it by putting
a piece of metal through it.

If you have any other problems
with my appearance, just...

You're staring at my tattoo?

I- I was staring at your-
at your hair.

What's wrong with my hair?

It's not covering your tattoo.

You know, Mike, I am this close

to giving you a full-on lecture
on freedom of expression.

There you go. No offense to you
or mr. 3-headed snake.

O.k.,
am I ready now?

Yeah, nah. It's just you look
a little... chilly. Here.

Why don't you slip this on?

We are gonna have
so much fun today.

We got a lot of plans.
We're going down to central park.

We're gonna watch your dad renew
the city's hansom cab licenses.

You always loved the horsies.

Mike, hansom cabs are
an abject form of cruelty

in which beautiful
animals are subjected

to consistently
inhumane conditions.

I'll let you pet 'em.

Excuse me, everybody.
I'm sorry to interrupt, sir.

The mayor's daughter
just arrived from college,

and the Bond of love between
these two is so strong,

she literally cannot wait one more
minute to see her dad. Go ahead.

Hello, Megan.

Hello, father.

so, for those of you
writing in your notepad,

that's "surprise visit",
"strong Bond"...

"Touching family moment. "

Is there anything there
for anonymous? That's me.

Paul, when a package shows up
addressed to anonymous,

it usually winds up in
a special bin downstairs

along with the mail that ticks.

How about this, huh, huh?
Is this for me?

Unless you plan to compete in
this year's gay olympics... no.

Huh. Now,
the pole vault...

Is that an actual event

or just something you do
at the party afterwards?

Oh, it's an event...
Right after the homophobe toss.

I'm going up to 2, o. k.?

Maybe they got my mail
there by accident.

Is it my imagination,

or has Paul actually
become more lonely and needy?

You know, we used to have a ton of
fun when Paul was with Claudia.

Who was Claudia, a hypnotist?

James! I have got
an assignment for you.

I need you to hang out
with the mayor's daughter.

I need that, too.

Just keep her away from the
mayor or any political event.

Hey, Mike? I'm free.

Why wouldn't you ask me to look
after the mayor's daughter?

Same reason they don't
give guns to monkeys.

I thought we could start
by taking a tour of the city.

James, I lived in
new York my whole life.

Well, there's still
a lot of new stuff to see.

You ever seen
the statue of liberty?

I had sex in the torch.

Did you get a chance
to see the view?

Hey, have you ever
had anything pierced?

My eardrum once. I got hit
in a corn shucking contest.

that is so funny.

Couldn't swim all summer.

oh, I'm sorry.
I thought you were joking.

Oh, I was. I...

Gotcha.

hey, what do you say
we ditch the tour-

go the village,
get some coffee?

Oh, I'd really like that.

And don't worry.

I know you're supposed
to keep me away from my dad

so that I don't
cause any trouble.

You do?
Well, I do now.

This hansom cab thing
is all set.

Now, there's gonna be
a lot of press there,

so we don't want a repeat
of what happened last year.

I thought last year went well.

Sir, in front of 100 reporters,
you leaned over to me and said,

"hey, look, Mike,
it's a boy horse. "

Well, it was.

So, uh, I-I take it Meg's
gonna meet us at the park.

Actually, I believe
she has other plans.

How-how do you know that?

Well, I kind of
made them for her.

Look, sir, kids change a lot
when they go away to college.

I mean, I know I did.

Before I went to fordham, I-I
was a large scandinavian woman.

Nothing, huh?
O.k., sir.

All I'm saying is that-that
it's completely understandable

that things
might be a little...

Awkward between you and Meg.

Things weren't awkward.

I might have
misinterpreted. Hey.

Maybe it was the absence of touching
and the total lack of eye contact.

That's the way
we say hello in Connecticut.

Mike, I love Meg more than
anything in the whole world.

I know that you do, sir.

And I'm proud
of what she has become!

Even though it seems
like she's grown up overnight,

I'm still as close to her
as I was to my own father...

God rest his soul.

- Sir?
- Yeah?

Your father's still alive.

Oh, that's right.

Just got my first letter from
anonymous. You wanna hear it?

Wait, how long is this letter?

19 pages. But it all rhymes.

Gee. What's a woman like that
doing in a lonely hearts club?

"To whom it may concern... "

That sounds way too personal.
Why don't you read it on your own?

No, no, no, no.
My life is an open book to you people.

Close it.

O.k., I have the solution
to the Paul problem.

Great. Where are we
gonna hide the body?

I told Claudia to meet us here.

We're all gonna go to the new
exhibit at the guggenheim.

I've lived in new York my entire
life and never been to a museum.

I'm not gonna ruin it now.

I'm surprised, Stuart. There's
a lot of nude sculptures.

Really?
Mm-hmm.

Can you touch 'em?

Claudia's gonna walk
in the door, see Paul-

- bam-love will take over.
- Oh, lord.

Oh.
hey, Paulie.

I didn't know you
were gonna be here.

Claudia. Can't talk.
Reading a letter.

Bam!

thank you, thank you.

Meg should have been here. She
always loved horses, you know.

She could ride sidesaddle,
English, and...

Bareback?
I don't think so.

Oh!

Apparently she's been
taking lessons, sir.

Nice.

What is he doing?
He's pacing.

Thinks if he lets the tension build, when
he finally talks, it's gonna scare us.

James.
Aah!

This is ridiculous, Mike.
I am not a little girl anymore.

Oh, I-I know that,
believe me.

The whole city knows that.

So what? I was nude.

If I were a man, we wouldn't
even be having this discussion.

That's right, we wouldn't.

Because if you were a man
and you rode naked on a horse,

you'd be
in the hospital right now.

Well, James is on my side.
Right, James?

Yeah. Right.
I'm with you.

Mike... I really don't think you
have any right to tell Megan-

James, go to your desk.
Yeah, you got it.

Um, can I call you sometime?

Mike, the whole world
should know

the plight
of those poor horses.

What is the correlation
between riding nude on a horse

and a horse's happiness?

O.k., I understand
for that one horse.

All I know is I got
my dad's attention.

No doubt about that.
It's in every paper.

You know, this is
really gonna hurt him.

You know, Mike, if this
is such a big problem,

then how come
he's not here talking to me?

Because he told you to handle it,
and you're just as bad as he is,

because you actually
agreed to do it.

O.k. I think we're losing track
of who's scolding who here.

You know what?
You can...

Just tell him that there
won't be any more problems,

because I'm going
back to school today.

Bye, dad.
Bye, honey.

Uh, sir, she's leaving.

Yeah, I sort of picked
that up from "bye, dad. "

I mean she's going
back to college.

After one day?

Yeah. Uh, we can
still catch her.

Sir, when I say "we"...

I mean both of us.

Even though I would give
anything to have my daughter

standing right here
in front of me...

I still wouldn't know
what to say to her.

I'm sorry, sir.

Yeah, so am I.

In a few hours, my dream girl
will finally have a face.

Breakthrough at the lab, Paul?

Jest if you must,
but today I meet my pen pal,

and I am convinced
that she is my soul mate.

20 bucks says she's a fat girl.

Are you sure you wanna do this?

Paul, the pen pal
relationship...

Is a special one.

Paul, there's an openness
to the written word that-

- that you may lose forever.
- What are you saying?

Stuart's right. She could
be large and in charge.

Hey, Paul,
did you get my jacket?

Found my soul mate.

Great. Was she
wearing my jacket?

Look. They did a beautiful job.
Great.

Paul, they didn't
get the stain out.

I told you.

Look at the rest of it!
Crisp!

Did you even check the jacket
before you left the store?

Of course!

Lying.

Quiet, you witch.

James, you get Megan
to the airport o. k.?

No problemo.

- Again with a lie.
- James.

Wait. How do you know
she's not lying?

I'm not! I can tell.

Now, James...

I believe... you took
the girl to the airport,

but Stuart here...

He's a little skeptical.

I just want 5 minutes
alone with this punk.

Take my keys.

Take my belt.

Take my glasses.

give me my glasses.

So... what airport
did you take her to?

probably, uh...

Laguardia, right?

Yeah, that-that was it.

That's funny.

There are no flights
to Oakland from laguardia.

I'm tired of his lies, Mike!

Can I have a glass of water?

Not until you sing, Buddy.

All right, where were we?
Oh, yes, airports...

Kennedy, wasn't it?

Yeah. Kennedy.

What bridge did you take?
59th street?

Triborough?

Triborough.

oh, wrong answer.

Triborough is closed.

let's talk about the girl.
You like the girl, yes?

No, no! Yes! Mike, you're
confusing me. I didn't-

tell me where she is!

Wait a second. I thought you were
supposed to be the good cop.

Bad cop's more fun.

Well, then who gets
to smack him around?

I do.
You get to berate him.

But I do that every day.

Listen, whatever you guys are gonna do,
could you do it and get it over with?

I have to meet Meg at the peta
rally in central park at 3:00.

Damn.

This is so romantic.

Just once I would like
a guy to say to me,

"I'll be the one
wearing the red Rose. "

I didn't say that.
I said,

"I'll be the one at the table
away from the bathroom. "

You stud.

How are you gonna
recognize her?

Well, in the letter, she said that
she'd be wearing a purple hat.

Hello, Paulie.

Oh, hey, Claudia.

I don't mean to be rude, but I'm
keeping my eye out for somebody,

so I'll see you around,
all right?

By the way, great hat.

Oh, my God!
Purple hat! Purple hat!

You are the man with the Rose

at a table away
from the bathroom.

I missed you, Paulie!

Oh, Claudia, I missed you, too!

I missed you more!

No, I don't think
that's possible.

You don't know my capacity
for missing somebody.

I couldn't even concentrate!

That's nothing! I couldn't sleep!
I couldn't eat!

Really?
How did you stay alive?

I wasn't, Paulie.

Oh, Claudia.

Oh, let's go, Paulie.

I missed you more.
Oh, you did?

Oh, honey.

Bye-bye, everybody.
Oh, honey! Honey!

I'm sorry.
It's o. k, honey.

We'll just walk.
I'm sorry. Bye-bye. Bye.

That was so beautiful.

She was lying.
She didn't write that letter.

Carter?

Believe me, this is
the best thing for Paul.

We have 2 choices.
We can either go there

and stop her from
speaking to these activists,

or we can have the police break
up the rally before it starts.

I'm just gonna stay right here.

O.k., sir, I'm gonna go
over your options again.

You don't, uh...
Know what it's like

to have a daughter,
do you, Mike?

Sir, I don't know what
it's like to have a plant.

You just-you have
to reach out to Meg.

You know what scares me
the most, Mike?

That I have missed some of the biggest
moments in my daughter's life,

that I've always put
my job first, and that I-

I haven't always
been the best of fathers.

And if I asked her,

she'd say that
she doesn't love me anymore.

she won't say that.

May-maybe she will,
but she won't mean it.

Hell, Mike, I wouldn't
even know where to start.

Just make a gesture, sir,
like send her a card.

Take her out for dinner.

Stop her from making damaging
statements at an animal rights rally.

Forget the politics, Mike.

Right now, I'm telling the truth when I
say that I do not care about politics.

Yes, you do.

I know.

Meg... doesn't
want to do this.

She-she just wants
to get your attention.

She just wants you
to do something

to prove that
you care about her.

Yeah. Janelle, would you
call for the limousine?

We need to be in central park
in 10 minutes!

All traffic lights on the East side are out.
You're not getting anywhere.

William tell overture)

that's it, there!
Watch out! Get outta the way!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Whoo-ah! Whoo-ah!
Hut! Hut! Ho!

Thank you, thank you.

I'd start by urging these people
not to vote for the mayor

based on his animal
rights record alone.

O.k...

good afternoon, everybody.

Hyah! Ha!
Daddy!

Ha! Whoa, seabiscuit!

Watch the bus!
That was 10 blocks ago.

The cab!
We're in central park.

A Lady with a cane!
Just hop off.

I hope my chute opens.

Meg, I'm so glad you're here.

I'm sorry.
I think we need to talk.

Now?
I've got nowhere to be,

or not to be,
if that is the question.

Here.

hah!

Well, folks, I'm sorry.

Looks like your front page story
just rode off into the sunset.

Nice jacket.
Thank you very much.

What's it made of?
This is calfskin, actually.

Oh, no!

Do you think
it'll come out, sir?

Maybe with a little club soda.

See, Mike, the thing is...

She was acting up right
underneath my nose,

and I was too involved
with my own life to notice.

But no more!
The new Randall Winston

is an attentive father, eh?

Oh. By the way,
if you see my daughter,

tell her I'm looking for her.

Sure thing, sir.

He saw us, didn't he?

Aaaaagghh!

Hard to tell.

Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

moo.

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