All language subtitles for Spin City s02e08 Soap.Eng

# I'm in the mood for love #

# simply because
I'm Mike Flaherty #

and he saw that it was good.

coming.

Hey. Hey! Hey!

Let romance begin.

I'm writing all my children's new character,
and I thought he was going to appear

after we find out whether Dimitri
or Edmund will raise mattie.

I know we've only gone out
a couple of times,

but when you said you wanted to come
over and get a little work done,

I thought you meant you wanted
to come over and...

Get a little work done.

How could you possibly
make that sexual?

Oh, that's easy.
I can do that with anything.

I'll take your word for it.

Will you take my word for it,

or will you
take my word for it?

Will you help me
with my new character?

Sure. Ah... Mick flannery,

deputy mayor of new York city.

Lives for crisis, can handle
anything his job throws at him.

Boy, this could be me if you mentioned
dashing good looks and raw animal magnetism.

I love this guy.

O.k., due to the somewhat revealing
hole in James' overalls,

casual fridays has now been
changed to casual saturdays.

Mike, I was wearing underwear.

We're painfully aware of that.

You should make the
move up to a medium.

Mike, I have an issue
I think we should address.

Little old ladies.

O.k., and where do we stand
on little old ladies?

I know a place in the village where
you can pay them to stand on you.

I'm just tired of seeing little
old ladies standing in the subway

while young people sit there
pretending not to see them.

Uh, Paul, less talking...

And more not talking.

I hate the subway.
I'm so sick of guys

using my breasts
to steady themselves.

Nikki, God gave you
a knee. Use it.

Uh, Paul wants me to ask you

what you thought
of his proposal

to have the mayor
appear in a series

of live town hall meetings.

Mike says great idea, but
after careful consideration,

he's gonna have to pass.

Uh-oh.

Paul, last time
you said uh-oh,

all the trees
in central park died.

Here's the thing. I may have inadvertently
mentioned the idea to the mayor,

and I seem to recall
a celebratory embrace.

Well, I hate to be
the bad guy here, so...

Show's canceled.

Finally, kudos
to Carter and Stuart.

They went to
a benefit last night.

They got their picture
in the paper.

Oh!

"Carter Heywood and friend. "

Ha! Friend is in quotes.

No!

What-what do quotes mean?

Quotes mean gay, James.

Stuart's been outed.

Am I on yet?

Shh.

Why, Mike, it looks
just like you.

Mike, this is so cool!
You're a tv star.

Let romance begin.

That's exactly what I said.

She put our date on tv.

Mick, if these lips
are free tomorrow night,

maybe you can give me
a tour of your... apartment.

Ooh!whoo!
Arf! Arf!

It's a tv show.
That never happened.

Just because she said that
doesn't mean

I'm gonna have some
wild sexual adventure.

I'm gonna need champagne and
roses sent to my apartment.

What about breakfast
with councilman nader?

Oh, cancel that.
Mick is sleeping in.

Hey, Stuart.
If you need any help

acclimating to your
new lifestyle...

Leave me alone.

O.k. First off, we're not
a hostile people.

Stuart.

I'll see you later, sweetie.

Jeannie, I already told you
I wasn't stalking you.

I was sketching your building.

I saw your picture
in the newspaper.

I can explain that.

Shh. Now I understand.

Your relentless hitting on me
was just a way of covering.

I don't know why I didn't
think of it before.

Nobody's that desperate.

Really.

I think it's kind of sweet.

So now that you know I'm gay,

you're comfortable with me?

Of course. In fact,
let's go have drinks tonight.

Yeah. It'll be kind
of a girls' night out.

Yeah.

That's a cute blouse.

Not too see-through?

No, no.

Sir.

Oh, Mike. Check this out.

I'm working on a move
for my new tv show.

Now...

When I answer a question,

does it make me look wiser if I
take my glasses off like this?

Or if I put them on like this.

Oh!

I'm not sure if-if,
really, if live tv is...

The best way
to present yourself.

How about we write out
a script,

we videotape it, and then we edit
out all the unflattering parts.

You know, show the real you.

Oh, Mike, it's got
to be live tv.

I don't know if I've ever
told you this before, Mike,

but all of my life I've dreamt
of being an entertainer.

The first time uncle milty appeared on that
glowing tube in my childhood living room

wearing a woman's dress
and a wig and makeup,

I felt...
That could be for me.

O.k.

I am gonna need final
approval over your wardrobe.

Well, Paul, congratulations.

Your town hall meetings
are a go.

Yes! Yes!

Come on, Mike.
"Yes" with me.

No.

I hate this idea.

There are 10,000 issues
out there,

and the mayor can't possibly
be informed on all of them.

yes!
But we're still doing it?

Yes! Yes!

I'm telling you,
I got charts here,

a list of why this will work.

Paul, just a sec.

Stacey?

code red.

Get out.

You know, if we're gonna
do this code red thing,

you gotta come up
with something

a little more subtle
than "get out. "

Hey, I stick to what works.

O.k. I got the flowers and the
champagne all taken care of.

And here.
A Dean Martin cd, just in case.

Just in case what,
her mom comes with her?

Growing up,
I was a sensitive boy,

and being so sensitive,
the other boys would tease me.

About my sensitivity.

To be honest,
sensitivity's what women

find so appealing
about gay men.

About that...

How do I say this?

As gay as I am...

Being with you is so confusing.

Are you trying to say
you're attracted to me?

Yes.

I want you, Jeannie.

Oh, but how can that be
if I'm...

Maybe you're not.

Maybe we should go back
to my apartment

and try to find out
who you really are.

Check, please.

Mike, what's taking you
so long?

Oh, come on.
You got nothing to worry about.

You should hope this is on tv,

'cause you're gonna be great.

I fact, I can give you
a hundred reasons

why you're gonna rule that bed.

You're cute, you don't rush,

you put her needs first.

Mike, I'm getting lonely.

In a second!

Oh. And you do
that thing

where you're kind of
on your side

and you reach down and you...

You should do that.

Go get her, tiger.

I should warn you.

Just because I'm a gentleman

doesn't mean I'm gentle.

Oh, my God.
I work for James Bond.

So tell me. How was it
with Mick last night?

Drum roll, please.

Well...

Not great.

Well, you heard her.

She said, "hot, great. "

No, Mike, she said,
"not great. "

It was quite clear.
We all heard that, right?

I heard "dot Gate. "

I heard "lot mate. "

What does that have to do
with being sexually inadequate?

Oh, God.

She seemed
to be enjoying herself. I...

What, do you think
she faked it?

No, no, Mike.
Women don't do that.

No, Mike. You're the best.

I heard "top date. "

Too late, James!

I believe the accurate figures
are as follows.

During summer, there are
191 public parks open.

146 of them have either

kiddie pools
or splash fountains.

And that's an increase
of 30% over last year.

And that's an increase
of over 30% from last year.

And that's an increase of 30%
over last year.

Mike is gonna love it.

Ah-choo!

Bless you, Paul.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Yes?

Yes. Do you think
the budget surplus

means you'll be lowering
tolls on the Bridges?

Switch it back.

No, that's last year's!

Last year's.
This is last- don't panic!

Don't panic! Ah ah ah!

I have an answer.
Hot coffee, hot coffee.

Burning thighs...
Ow, ow! 911.

Hey, Flaherty.
If you're having trouble in the sack,

I give a free clinic at my
apartment Saturday nights.

That's a good one, Roberta.

You really should do it, man.

Changed my life.

Where's the mayor, janelle?

He might be
in his dressing room.

Office.

Hey, Paulie.

Still feeling good about
the town hall meetings?

All right. I admit
there was a tiny glitch.

Enormous glitch.
Other glitches gather to pray

at the base of this glitch.

You got to admit there
were a few bright spots.

Oh, yeah, like the moment
when the mayor

responded to the question
about new homeless shelters

by saying, "damn it, just
put the ice down my pants. "

You think that was
hard for the mayor-

I'm the one who had to do it.

All right. We promised the press
a series of town hall meetings.

We have to do at least 2.

Actually, Mike, I think
a series is more like 5.

Paul, I'm gonna give you
a series of beatings.

You're gonna tell me
when to stop.

I am not gonna let the
mayor do another show.

And seeing as you are
the only one

with no credibility left
to damage,

I have no choice but to
choose you as the new host.

Yes!

Not great?

You saw the show.

Oh, yeah. Hey,
and what can I say?

Lisa, I'm a fan.

Come on, Mike. You were trying so
hard, you were all over the bed.

Oh, and I meant to ask you.

How did you get
your head caught

between the mattress
and the box spring?

Hey, look. I might have rushed
a few moves into production

before they were
properly tested,

but I didn't know you were
gonna put it on tv!

Hey, I put myself on too.

What, the beautiful
sexual dynamo

who every man wants
but none can have?

I'm a writer, and I'm inspired

by the people I feel
passionate about.

And I hope that
if you dig down deep,

you'll find that means as
much to you as it does to me.

Let me check.

No.

I was hoping to have
this memorized,

but there was just no time.

There is your part.
I start. "Lisa,

"I think you're basically
a nice person,

but I just don't think we can
see each other anymore. "

"Michael, you are the greatest
guy I have ever dated. "

"You are so wise, and
if this is your wish,

it must be
what is best. "

"I believe it to be so. "

"Good-bye and fare
thee well, Lisa. "

Good-bye, Mike.

Please, I-Lisa?

"Begging doesn't make this
any easier for either of us.

Just go. "

I hope this isn't moving
too fast,

but my parents
are coming to town,

and I would love for you
to meet them.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jeannie.

Your parents?

Hold your horses.
I mean...

As amazing as
the other night was,

it turns out I'm still gay.

I broke down and called
Brian, my ex, last night,

and we just talked
and cried and...

Talked and cried.

Oh, God, my parents
would have loved you.

I just want you to be happy.

Oh!

good-bye.

Stay sweet.

Hey, Stuart.
Saw your picture in the paper.

Who were you talking to?

Oh, just my...

Ex-boyfriend.

I'm so confused.

I'm off the air.
My career is over.

If it's any consolation, sir,
you're still the mayor of new York.

It's not.

All my children's on, Mick.

Yeah, well, I broke up
with Lisa last night,

so there's not gonna
be much to see,

unless she wrote about her
ride to dumpsville.

O.k., there's Gillian.

So, did your latest night
with Mick go any better?

No. In fact, it didn't
go well at all.

Ah, jeez, here come
the waterworks.

He was even
more awkward in bed.

But, hey. At least i only had to
put up with 3 minutes of it.

And the strangest thing?

He paints his toenails.

I'm afraid what I'll find
when we go out tomorrow.

That's not true.
I broke up with her.

Where'd she come up
with all that stuff?

She made it up!

O.k. There is a little less of
this than when the day began.

And I thought it was Nikki.

I don't paint my toenails!

I'll prove it! Look at-look at this.
Look at this, huh?

Look, look. Look at my nails.
Look at my nails.

Come on, somebody, please!

Look at my nails!

Hi, senator watkin.

I'm surprised to see you here.

Anything I can do for you?

Uh, kill me.

I mean, don't kill me.
Kill Mick.

Have Gillian kill Mick.

And if you can't do that,

then, yes, actually kill me,

because I can't
take this anymore.

I'm sorry, Mike.

I made up all of that
stuff just to punish you.

But it turns out
people loved it.

Mick's a ratings monster.

I don't care
about your stu-

ratings monster?

Mm-hmm.

Well, bigger than Dimitri?

Unless you can come up

with something really juicy

to replace the lost ratings...
Mick lives.

On the one hand, I'm gay.

On the other hand,
I'm very attracted to you.

Well, how about we
go back to my place

and we'll see if we can
straighten you out?

I'll pay the check.

Look, just so I can get
in and out faster,

I'm gonna pay for the next
few visits in advance.

Psst. Very impressive, Stuart.

Oh! Hey!

You guys aren't gonna
blow my cover here, are you?

I mean, you're not
gonna "in" me.

No, of course not.
Why would I stop you

from making a mockery
of my sexuality

and using it to further
your own twisted needs?

See you, Stuart.
Susan? Have fun.

Carter, I can't believe
you just let him go.

Oh, why not?
I know him.

Of course you know Stuart.

No, no, no. I mean Susan.
I know him.

You mean...

Oh, yes.

Susan is all man.

Hello, everybody,
and welcome to my show.

First up is Bob conner.
Bob, where are you?

Bob... why don't you
stand up

and give your seat
to that little old Lady?

Who made you king of chairs?

And who the hell
are you calling old?

A moment of silence, everybody.

On today's episode,
Mick gets killed.

I'm sorry, Mick...

Oh, here it comes.

But this is the way
it has to end.

and thus endeth
the tale of Mick.

Anyone wants to know anything
about my sex life,

they can sleep with me!
Let's get back to work.

We interrupt this program for a
special bulletin from city hall.

Help me, help me,
help me, help me!

I'll get security.

Oh. How'd you finally talk Lisa
into killing you off?

Well, she wanted ratings,

and I knew an actor who was
looking to make a comeback.

And who are you?

Lance st. Andrews,
national financier.

I'd like to buy you
a drink.

Or perhaps... a building.

I'm telling you,
he's a natural.

And, hey, have you heard?

Mick's going to make it.

Yeah, later. Good-bye.

Shh. Shh. Shh!

Hey, Stuart.

How'd it go last night?

She had an Adam's apple.

Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

(Barking]

Moo.

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