All language subtitles for Spin City s01e24 Mayor Over Miami.eng

Good news.
I have used my charm and influence

to get us a private room
at Tribeca grill

to celebrate the mayor's
state of the city address.

There will be an open bar.

I'm saying
there will be an open bar.

Shh.
Look.

Who's that sweet-looking
young woman,

and why is she talking
to Stuart?

As disturbing and
shocking as it may seem,

we have reason to believe

she might actually
be Stuart's girlfriend.

No, there's gotta be

a logical explanation for this.

She's serving him a subpoena.
Mike...

This is carolyn.

Hi, carolyn.
Mike Flaherty.

I know.
Stuy's told me

so many great things about you.

Oh, stuy has, has he?
Mm-mmm.

Carolyn...
Cara... carolynnn.

It's an exotic name.

Are you a u. s. Citizen?

Oh, yeah. Born and bred
right here in Manhattan.

Stuart, I gotta run.

It was really nice
meeting everyone.

Hmm-mmm.
Nice.

I'll keep it for later.

Hey, Stuart.

Huh?

Your girlfriend,
she seems very...

Normal.

So I'm dating a nice,
normal woman.

What's the big deal?

Nothing.
No, no, no.

She's exactly the kind
of nice, normal woman

I always thought you'd be with.

Only I figured she'd be more...

Inflatable.

We've got a busy few
of days ahead of us.

I've set up a series
of appearances

culminating in your state
of the city address.

An opportunity to look back
in pride at the last year.

What's it all about, Mike?

Well, sir, this is politics,

so unless it's
a trick question,

I'm gonna go with winning.

Oh, let's face it.

There's just been one
blunder after another

in both my personal life
and my political life.

That's what this speech
should say.

Well, you know,
actually it does. Right here.

"This administration
has faced small setbacks,

but we've corrected them
and learned from them. "

It's got blunder
written all over it.

I killed an ex-mayor, Mike.

But we learned from that.

How many ex-mayors
did you kill after that?

I've offended
the gay community,

I have poisoned the homeless,

alienated
the women's action caucus,

and I made a mockery
of the deaf.

Look, we have lived up

to 70% of our campaign
promises.

Let's face it- the other
30% we pretty much knew

were impossible coming in.

Maybe you're right.

It's not my job
to depress the city.

It's my job
to uplift this city.

And that's what this
speech is all about.

This isn't the end
of a bad year.

It's the beginning
of a great new one.

Exactly.

Mr. Mayor?

Your lawyer dropped off
your divorce papers.

You're in a very, uh...

A very good place here, sir.

Let's try and stay positive.

It's official.

I'm the biggest loser
in the history of time.

That's the spirit.

Hey, there, roomie.

Hey, there...
Roomie.

Today's the day, Paulie.

We're moving in together.

That's today.

Yes, Paul. Look at your
365-new-words-a-year calendar.

"Abscratulate.

Slang for escape. "

It's ironic.

You're a little nervous.
So am I. It's natural.

But it's gonna be fine,
so give me the keys,

and I'll have a celebration
dinner waiting.

I just don't know-

I had them around here
somewhere. I just...

Well, I hear them
jingling, Paul.

No, that's my change.

How do you know without sticking
your hands in your pocket?

What is this,
the spanish inquisition?!

I know what my keys sound like
and what my change sounds-

I found them.

Paul, I don't want to feel
like I'm forcing you.

Just because I've
given up my lease,

moved out of my apartment,

and everything I own
is crammed in a u-haul

parked illegally in a fire Lane

that is no reason you
should feel obligated

to keep your word to me

and begin our life together.

Hey... I'm sorry.

I do love you.

Ohh...

Ok. This is
the front door key.

And this is the deadlock bolt.

Got it.

And this is the mailbox key,
but I better keep that.

It says do not duplicate.

You can get in
big trouble for that.

I mean, sure, I said we
would move in together,

but in my mind, that's like
being engaged to be engaged.

So now you're moved to move in.

Yes! This is why
I talk to you.

So what do you think
I should do?

Oh, uh, you know...
I hear what you're saying, Paul,

and I really care
about this, so, um...

Gimme a call at home.
All right?

You'll be there?

Oh, definitely.
Definitely.

Yeah, yeah, either
me or my machine.

Mike, one quick thing.

I got the mayor's notes back

on my first draft of the
state of the city speech.

So go ahead
and make the changes.

Mike, he wrote,
"why me?" on every page.

And then on the back, he doodled
a picture of his own tombstone.

That's an easy one,
James. You just-wow.

"Randall Winston.
1947-1997."

Doesn't give us
much time, does it?

In the next installment
in your tax dollars at work,

the city has purchased 30 new
street sweeping vehicles.

Any questions, comments?

I got a question.

What do we need
all those things for?

What's the point?

Are we gonna clean the
same street 3 times a day?

Most people don't even brush
their teeth that often.

Uh, sir,
uh... normally,

we save grilling
of the administration

for the press.

We keep spending and spending.

We got nothing to show for it.

Just wish I could account
for all the waste.

Well, that's what we got
the street cleaners for-

to take care of the waste.
Paul, take it away.

That concludes the debate portion
of today's press conference.

Framboise beer?
Who brought this?

I thought you guys would like it.
It's Berry-flavored.

I prefer the beer-flavored beer.

What's with this new policy
of mandatory socializing?

Finally get a night off, and
we have to hang out together.

Paul's bringing the mayor by.

We'll surprise him, cheer
him up a little bit.

We'll be out of here
by 9:30.

You can all go to whatever
exciting lives you lead.

What are you guys
doing tonight?

Nothing.
No plans.

Want to get together
for a drink?

Yep.

Stuart?

Sweetheart!
You're early.

I was gonna go out in the
street and wait for you.

Oh, I knew you would,
you... sweet boy,

and that's why I came early.

What a perfect angel...

You are. Now,

can I get you
something to drink?

Just a glass of water
with a little ice.

Actually, Mike's out of ice.

Then we'll just go down to
the store and get some.

Are you ok?

I'm fine.

Why?

You want me to, uh,
pay for the ice?

Oh, come on! I'll even pick
up some extra chips, too.

It's on me.

All right, who was that?

I've never seen anything like it.
He was so...

Nice?

Yeah.

You know, when I was little,
my family had a dog.

He was really mean.

He used to snap at
people all the time.

Then one day, my dad
took him to the vet,

and he came back
as sweet as a puppy.

So you're suggesting Stuart's
girlfriend had him... neutered?

Hey, it's just a theory.

How big is a u-haul, sir?

I've seen 18-wheelers,

but Claudia's probably gonna
use a smaller model, right?

Doesn't matter.

If she packs it right, she can
fit her whole life in there.

Her whole life, huh?
oh...

Gosh, it's hot in here.

I remember when Helen
moved in with me.

One minute I was giving her
the spare set of keys.

3 weeks later...
We were married.

Oh, dear God.

Now she's taking half...

Of everything I own.

let me ask you something, sir.

Do you think Claudia and I
should move in together?

Paul, I'm really not
in the best place

to be giving relationship
advice right now.

Be that as it may, sir,

just whatever you're feeling,
just blurt it out.

Ohhh...
Please, sir.

If I say no...

Then no it is!

And a very convincing
argument it was, sir!

A burden has been
lifted from my shoulders.

You're kidding yourself.
You asked Claudia to move in with you.

She's not gonna back out now.

I think Claudia
will be relieved.

I sense that Claudia's as eager
to slow things down as I am.

Hello! You've reached
the home of Claudia and Paul.

Leave a message, and we'll get
back to you as soon as possible.

Thanks for calling.

ohh...

Oh, I can't believe

how much you look
like your mom!

Yeah, it's as if
she gave birth to me.

Where are all
the pictures of us?

I keep those in a private room.

See, what I like to do is lay about
20 of them out on the floor,

uh, get naked, lube up,
and roll around in 'em.

It makes me feel
closer to the group.

Mike, not that watching you torture
James isn't scintillating,

but what are the odds
of Paul being successful

and actually bringing
the mayor here?

He can't go wrong.
I scripted it all out for him.

I guess that's all
for tonight, Paul.

"you can't
go home alone tonight, sir. "

Why not?

"So why don't we
drop by Mike's place?"

You didn't answer my question.

"Gang's all
hanging out there. "

Are you not listening
to me at all, Paul?

"Perfect. So
I'll get my stuff. "

Are we sure
this is a good idea?

The mayor just needs to
feel embraced by the group.

I need space.

This place is suffocating me.

He wants to feel grounded.

I want adventure.

Well, then, I will be Thelma
for your Louise, sir.

Trust my instincts on this.

The mayor's gonna end up
feeling better tonight,

and all our problems
are gonna be solved.

2 tickets to Miami, please.

Ask what the movie is.

Mike, I checked the mansion,

his favorite restaurants,
the club.

Nothing.

Well, it's official.
We are short one mayor.

And I gotta think people
are gonna notice that.

There's a disturbing report
from the janitorial staff

of Paul and the mayor being
seen exiting the building

singing born free.

I got something.

I am sure the mayor and Paul
have gone on some sort of

spur of the moment
trip out of town.

How?
What do you mean?

Paul keeps a toothbrush hidden
here in case he sleeps over,

and it is gone!

You know where he hides it?

I use it to clean my keyboard.

oh!

Mike, I've got Paul.

Yeah, Paul.

Oh, hey, ho.

No, everything's fine here.

Yeah, so, hey,
it's about 60 degrees,

I had a lovely breakfast
at the time cafe,

and my press secretary
stole my mayor!

I want him back, Paul!

Paul-no, Paul,
I- I-I-

I don't care that you're ok.

Where are you? Don't put the mayor on.
Don't put him on.

Don't- don't pu-
hello. Hello, sir.

Uh, no-I-sir,

if I could just-

right, sir,
but-but-sir-

I appreciate you've experienced
a major change in your life,

but if you could
see the big picture,

you'll realize the city
needs you, and-hello?

Well, this is it.

No rules, no boundaries, no fear.

Well, that's very poetic, sir.

Did you just make that up?

No, I read it on the young
fellow's t-shirt over there.

Sounds like words to live by

for two single guys
on the prowl, huh?

Well, I've never been very good

at-at-at picking
up women, sir.

I- I have trouble
with my rap.

What's the problem?

I don't have one.

Everybody's got a few standbys.

There was one I used to
use in college.

I'd walk up to women
and I would say,

"if I could rewrite
the alphabet,

I would put
you and I together. "

Those must have been
some lonely years, Paul.

You've gotta tell
a woman what you do.

Not many guys can say
they're the press secretary

for the mayor of new York city.

I can't just
blurt that out, sir.

Just let it happen naturally.

You ask a woman what she does,

and when she tells you,
you go, "oh!"

Then there'll be
an awkward silence.

It'll force her
to ask what you do.

And that works.

I been doing it for years.

so, you, uh...

Think you can handle this?

I think so.
Why are you smiling?

Hungry press.
Awol mayor.

I think you can do it, but...

It's not something
I wanna miss.

I didn't walk out without
saying where I was going.

I'm not gonna bust
my hump on this.

Maybe I should phone in an excuse
about the mayor being sick

and take a little
vacation myself,

and good luck findin' me!

Good morning.

I will be your press
secretary today.

No, no more "over heres" or
distracting hand gestures.

And, Sally, no more standing in
front of Joel so I can't see him.

It's not nice,
and it's not fair.

Now, Joel.

Thank you, Mike.
I want to say

how decent of you
to give Paul the day off.

You must be a real
nice guy to work for.

He knows.

But what if I told you
that I have a source

who claims to have
seen the mayor

along with mr. Lassiter at a
ticket counter at jfk last night?

Well, Joel, I would say
that I would like to, uh,

speak to this source.

It's me, Mike.

Hello, Joel.

How you doin?'
nice to see ya.

And you're wrong.

So the mayor is still
in new York city?

This is what
I'm saying. Yes.

But he hasn't been
seen all day.

What are you telling
us, he's sick again?

This is more than I
could have hoped for.

No. No, of course not.

I, uh, Sally, could you take a
step to your right, please?

So the mayor will be sticking
to his schedule today?

Yes, he will not be
dropping an event.

So why call a press conference?

I just wanted to say hi!

One scotch and soda.

Thankee, thankee.

And one virgin fuzzy naval
for the party boy.

Thank you.

So...

What do you do for a living?

I'm a waitress.

Oh!

I'm press secretary
for the mayor of new York.

Oh.

If I could rewrite
the alphabet,

I'd put you and I together.

We'll take the check.

You and carolyn
going out to lunch?

Yeah! So, what do you guys think?
You like her?

I was going to see if I could
have her stapled to you.

What's that supposed to mean?

Oh, let's see...
How can I put this delicately?

When you're alone, you're
an intolerable jerk.

When you're with her, you're
kind, you're friendly.

You're new stu.

I like new stu.

New stu doesn't
glue stuff to my desk.

Hey, I do not change
when I'm around her.

This is a ridiculous load

of bull-sugar pop!

Hi, honey.

Hi.

I just want to freshen
up before we go.

Oh. Down the hall
to the left.

Although I can't imagine

how you could
be any more beautiful.

Oh!

Oh, my God!
You guys are right!

What's happened to me?
Where's Stuart bondek?

Relax. What are you gonna
do, break up with her?

Are you crazy?
Have you checked out her body?

There I am.
Ha ha ha.

Whoo! I missed me.

I'm sorry! The mayor's
not here today.

Well, the mayor's
not here here,

but he-he is
in the building.

And he'll get back to you as
soon as possible. Thank you.

Guys, come here.

When did the mayor get back?

Uh, he didn't.

But... like the great
and powerful oz,

we shall create the illusion
that he is here all day.

You got my schedule, janelle?

The mayor's radio address.

Ah. All right. Ok.
James.

Splice together some old tapes.

Make it sound like
something new.

Stay away from the Christmas
address, the new year's address,

and that time he affected
an English accent

to sound more sophisticated.

Fund-raisers. School appearance.
Shuffle, reschedule. Easy!

But we have
a kurdistan dignitary

coming in for a face-to-face
with the mayor today.

Ok. Any time a country does not
have a restaurant in this city,

they don't get to shout at the mayor.
Cancel that.

I'm gonna need
some help with this.

I'm sorry, Mike.
I have a big choice to make.

I either have to step up

and tell carolyn
who I really am,

or for the sake of sex,

live a lie the rest of my life.

Ready, buttercup?

Who are you holding for?

Uh, governor.
Gee, governor,

I put you through to the
mayor's office 5 times.

I have no idea
what-

oop.
Lost him again.

Mike.

A- are you busy?

Oh, no, hey, Claudia, I've got, uh...
5 seconds.

I- I didn't know
who to talk to,

so I figured I'd turn
to Paul's best friend.

And you're here,
so... that must be me.

Do you think Paul's
getting cold feet?

I mean...

He-he invited me
to move in with him-

cold feet? Sounds like
commitment to me.

Have fun at the wedding.

What am I talking about?

I'll probably end up
being best man.

You're probably right.

There's just one
little bitty thing

that keeps nagging at me.

Mm-hmm.

Could be a problem
down the road.

He's gone.

He's run away.
He's abandoned me.

let me tell you
something, Claudia.

In all the time
I have known Paul,

you are the best thing
that ever happened to him.

Really?

You're the only thing.

But you're definitely the best,

and he knows that, which
is why, when I find him,

I'm gonna sit him down and
talk some sense into him.

Well, I-I-I know where he's
staying in Miami, if that helps.

Say that again?

He's in Miami.
Here's his number.

Mike... you don't
think he's found

anybody new down there?

You know...
Some beach bunny?

No, he's probably
just looking for

someplace to get
spf-4000.

you're right.

My word, Paul.

This stuff actually...
Removes your tan.

Why don't you just
wear a suit of armor?

That's very funny, sir.

Could you get
the back of my neck?

I'd rather not.

Well, the Paul lassiter
girl repellent

seems to have coated
the pool area.

Why don't we head down
to ocean drive tonight,

see if we can scare up
a little trouble?

Well, to be honest with you,
sir, I'm a little tired.

I think I need a nap.
Must be jet lag.

We didn't change
time zones, Paul.

You know what it must be?

They put me at the end
of the emergency exit.

I didn't sleep a wink.

It's quite a responsibility.

You're gonna call Claudia,
aren't you?

I would never do that.

Remember our pact.

Wild and free, you and me.

Together for eternity!

That's my boy.

Paul.

sorry, sir.

Ok, mr. Flaherty, that's one
round-trip ticket to Miami.

I've had a rough day.
Got anything in first class?

No. We have coach.
Middle seat.

Is this a...
Smoking section?

We no longer have
smoking sections.

What about a drinking section?
You got that?

So, mr. Flaherty, is this trip
business or-or pleasure?

A little of both, actually.

I'm thinking of
killing my Boss.

Have a nice day.

Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

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