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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,434 --> 00:00:04,601 That's unbelievable. Danielle just called me. 2 00:00:04,667 --> 00:00:06,167 She canceled our dinner for tonight. 3 00:00:06,234 --> 00:00:08,434 She claims she had her wisdom teeth removed. 4 00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:09,968 This is not a lie, Mike. 5 00:00:10,033 --> 00:00:11,901 I just saw her an hour ago. 6 00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:15,367 We are talking big cheeks, numb lips, lotsa drool. 7 00:00:15,434 --> 00:00:17,100 So she's up and around. 8 00:00:17,167 --> 00:00:18,601 Mike. 9 00:00:18,667 --> 00:00:20,200 This is unb- look at me! 10 00:00:20,267 --> 00:00:23,701 My first Valentine's day alone in this harsh world. 11 00:00:23,767 --> 00:00:26,667 Is it so wrong that I want a little female companionship? 12 00:00:26,734 --> 00:00:28,601 If you really want, I can set you up with someone. 13 00:00:28,667 --> 00:00:30,934 Yes, I want. I want. Yes. 14 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,467 Fine. I'll call Suzanne. 15 00:00:32,534 --> 00:00:35,067 No, no. She does this twirly thing with her hair 16 00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:37,534 that I know would drive you up the wall. 17 00:00:37,601 --> 00:00:39,801 Maybe Veronica. Although this being your first date back, 18 00:00:39,868 --> 00:00:41,167 Veronica might be a bit too aggressive, 19 00:00:41,234 --> 00:00:44,567 you know, sexually speaking. I've got it! 20 00:00:44,634 --> 00:00:46,234 Katie would be perfect. 21 00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:48,167 She's cute. She's the sweetest thing you'll ever meet. 22 00:00:48,234 --> 00:00:50,300 Tell me more about Veronica. 23 00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,367 Mike, is it all right 24 00:00:51,434 --> 00:00:53,601 if I come in a little late tomorrow? 25 00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:56,400 Because tonight I got plans with Claudia. 26 00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:58,734 We have to sleep in a little. Know what I mean? 27 00:00:58,801 --> 00:01:01,167 You can come in late... As long as you promise 28 00:01:01,234 --> 00:01:02,501 not to tell me what you mean. 29 00:01:04,334 --> 00:01:05,834 Wait. Why am I setting you up? 30 00:01:05,901 --> 00:01:07,167 I don't even have a date yet. 31 00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,734 You're always welcome to join me at the bar. 32 00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:12,467 I'll be reenacting my traditional bad holiday ritual. 33 00:01:12,534 --> 00:01:16,133 It involves a good book and a big bottle of chianti. 34 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,133 No expectations. No disappointments. 35 00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,467 Forgive me, Stuart, but when I close my eyes 36 00:01:20,534 --> 00:01:22,667 and try to envision the perfect Valentine's day, 37 00:01:22,734 --> 00:01:26,667 you are usually bound and gagged in a shed somewhere. 38 00:01:26,734 --> 00:01:28,801 Ooh. (Chuckles] 39 00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:32,667 You know, Nikki, sometimes the perfect date 40 00:01:32,734 --> 00:01:33,868 is right under your nose. 41 00:01:37,267 --> 00:01:38,667 You know what? You're right. 42 00:01:38,734 --> 00:01:40,334 This is not a time for pride. 43 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,167 I need to start calling old boyfriends. 44 00:01:43,234 --> 00:01:44,667 Well, I am no longer 45 00:01:44,734 --> 00:01:46,467 desperate and alone this evening. 46 00:01:46,534 --> 00:01:48,934 Spence called. He wants to see me. 47 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,901 Spence? The guy who dumped you twice Spence? 48 00:01:51,968 --> 00:01:53,267 I prefer just Spence. 49 00:01:54,434 --> 00:01:56,601 Well, that means he wants you back. 50 00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:58,434 Come on. Spence and I are over. 51 00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:02,300 Tonight is merely a friendly little extension of the olive branch. 52 00:02:02,367 --> 00:02:03,901 Is that a euphemism? 53 00:02:08,701 --> 00:02:11,234 Please. Tonight is totally casual. In fact, 54 00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:13,634 Mike, if your date doesn't pan out, stop by. 55 00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:15,701 Spence is bringing a friend-a woman. 56 00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:18,534 Sounds great. Thank you, Carter. Good plan "b". 57 00:02:18,601 --> 00:02:22,634 Plan "b"? You are going out with a friend of mine tonight, Buster! 58 00:02:22,701 --> 00:02:24,067 How immature are you? 59 00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:25,467 I'm not immature. 60 00:02:25,534 --> 00:02:27,834 Just in case she's an uggo. 61 00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:43,300 Well, am I... 62 00:02:43,367 --> 00:02:45,868 Glad Nikki thought of setting us up. 63 00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:50,100 I mean, we just met, and-and already I'm feeling comfortable. 64 00:02:50,167 --> 00:02:52,534 That's unusual, because, you know, 65 00:02:52,601 --> 00:02:56,234 sometimes these things can be pretty awkward. 66 00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,234 I can tell within 15 minutes 67 00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:00,801 whether or not I'm gonna have sex with a guy. 68 00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:06,701 Really? 69 00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,133 I, uh... 70 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:11,300 Have an aunt who can guess people's favorite colors. 71 00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:14,968 Come on. Everybody's the same way. 72 00:03:15,033 --> 00:03:16,434 At least I have the guts to admit it. 73 00:03:16,501 --> 00:03:21,200 So... when do my 15 minutes start? 74 00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:23,434 They already did. 75 00:03:23,501 --> 00:03:26,601 I can handle pressure. I deal with it every day. 76 00:03:26,667 --> 00:03:28,501 Thrive on it. 77 00:03:29,567 --> 00:03:31,868 14:58... 78 00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:33,767 Uh, can I get some wine, please? 79 00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:34,834 Hurry! 80 00:04:00,267 --> 00:04:01,501 coming! 81 00:04:05,267 --> 00:04:06,501 coming! 82 00:04:23,801 --> 00:04:24,767 Spence kamer! 83 00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:26,767 How you doin', Carter? 84 00:04:32,801 --> 00:04:34,234 Ok. Got through that. 85 00:04:34,300 --> 00:04:35,968 Ha ha. Yeah. 86 00:04:36,033 --> 00:04:37,601 Come on in. Sit down. 87 00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:40,133 Ohhh... 88 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,234 I miss this couch! 89 00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:43,734 Yeah, well. 90 00:04:43,801 --> 00:04:45,767 You got the stereo. I got the couch. 91 00:04:47,167 --> 00:04:48,567 I didn't say I want the couch. 92 00:04:48,634 --> 00:04:50,167 I just said I miss the couch. 93 00:04:51,467 --> 00:04:53,033 Uh, white wine ok? 94 00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:54,434 Sure, thanks. 95 00:04:55,501 --> 00:04:57,133 You look great. 96 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,767 Yeah, you, too. 97 00:04:58,834 --> 00:05:00,267 I like that goatee. 98 00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:01,868 Yeah, well, they, uh... 99 00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,367 Seem pretty hip, 100 00:05:03,434 --> 00:05:05,868 but you get a few stray hairs growing in the wrong direction, 101 00:05:05,934 --> 00:05:07,868 you start to look like count chocula! 102 00:05:09,968 --> 00:05:11,667 And that's not good. 103 00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:15,267 No. 104 00:05:16,901 --> 00:05:19,234 Uh, where's your friend? Is she coming? 105 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:20,901 I thought you said she was coming. 106 00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:22,434 Not that I'm not glad to see you. 107 00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:25,000 It's just that- ahem. I'm babbling. 108 00:05:25,067 --> 00:05:27,300 It's ok, though, actually. I kinda miss that. 109 00:05:27,367 --> 00:05:29,267 I asked her to stop by later. 110 00:05:29,334 --> 00:05:30,834 I want to spend some time alone with you first, 111 00:05:30,901 --> 00:05:31,834 if that's ok. 112 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,501 Oh. Ok. 113 00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:36,100 Whatever. 114 00:05:37,334 --> 00:05:38,267 Boy! 115 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,000 Just relax, ok? 116 00:05:44,067 --> 00:05:46,033 Drink the wine... 117 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,167 Breathe the secondhand smoke... 118 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,968 and think about the emptiness of your life. 119 00:05:55,367 --> 00:05:57,767 Don't you think that's a little dark? 120 00:05:57,834 --> 00:05:59,801 Siddown. 121 00:05:59,868 --> 00:06:01,868 Everyone'll wind up here, eventually. 122 00:06:01,934 --> 00:06:03,200 They always do. 123 00:06:03,267 --> 00:06:06,234 No, no. Not Nikki. She's out with Kevin. 124 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:09,534 She's probably laughing at his jokes, his stories... 125 00:06:09,601 --> 00:06:10,534 What's he do? 126 00:06:10,601 --> 00:06:11,634 He's a comedian. 127 00:06:14,901 --> 00:06:16,834 You know she'll fall for the guy, 128 00:06:16,901 --> 00:06:18,000 and I'll get to hear about it every day 129 00:06:18,067 --> 00:06:21,334 until my ears bleed. I hate this. 130 00:06:29,701 --> 00:06:33,534 Oh, Paul, this is so sexy! 131 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:36,834 You're telling me. And watch your feet. 132 00:06:36,901 --> 00:06:38,167 This is gonna be 133 00:06:38,234 --> 00:06:40,000 the best Valentine's day of your life, darlin'. 134 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,601 And dip. Ooh! 135 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,267 I'm sorr- 136 00:06:43,334 --> 00:06:45,200 I'm so sorry! I'm sorry! 137 00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:47,400 Oh! Are you all right? 138 00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:49,534 I'm ok. I'm ok, honey. 139 00:06:49,601 --> 00:06:52,434 I know this isn't the best place to dance. 140 00:06:52,501 --> 00:06:53,834 It's just... 141 00:06:53,901 --> 00:06:56,334 Well, I wanted to start our evening 142 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,734 in the room where our lips first met. 143 00:06:58,801 --> 00:07:02,634 Oh, Paul. Sweep me off my feet right now, 144 00:07:02,701 --> 00:07:05,133 and I'm yours forever. 145 00:07:07,434 --> 00:07:08,367 tango? 146 00:07:09,634 --> 00:07:10,567 Take me. 147 00:07:13,601 --> 00:07:18,367 Tonight... cupid's arrow will strike sharply and precisely. 148 00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:19,868 Open! 149 00:07:20,934 --> 00:07:22,734 ooh! Ooh! 150 00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:24,067 I'm sorry! 151 00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,501 Oh, I'm sorry! 152 00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,734 I should have taken out the thorns. 153 00:07:27,801 --> 00:07:29,501 I'm sorry. 154 00:07:30,634 --> 00:07:31,901 ah. So... 155 00:07:34,234 --> 00:07:35,400 How'd I do? 156 00:07:36,801 --> 00:07:38,801 I'm not gonna have sex with you tonight. 157 00:07:40,834 --> 00:07:42,834 Well. Then, uh... 158 00:07:42,901 --> 00:07:45,801 I'm not gonna have sex with you, either. 159 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:50,934 Good night, Michael Flaherty. 160 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:53,234 Good night, Veronica... 161 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:56,934 ...Veronica. 162 00:07:58,567 --> 00:08:01,067 So I gathered a few thousand of my closest friends, 163 00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:03,367 and we swarmed the state legislature. 164 00:08:03,434 --> 00:08:05,934 We got arrested, but we got results. 165 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,400 Still doing the whole angry Black man thing, huh? 166 00:08:08,467 --> 00:08:10,334 Yeah, well, I think it works for me. 167 00:08:12,133 --> 00:08:15,667 Tried the angry chinese man thing, but... 168 00:08:15,734 --> 00:08:18,334 Couldn't seem to nail it. 169 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,267 Well, the Carter I knew woulda nailed that chinese man. 170 00:08:22,634 --> 00:08:25,267 Or at least bought him a few drinks. 171 00:08:26,734 --> 00:08:29,334 God, I miss laughing like this. Yeah, I know. 172 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,434 This is great. 173 00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:32,567 Hey! 174 00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:33,667 Uh... 175 00:08:35,634 --> 00:08:36,567 Mike! 176 00:08:36,634 --> 00:08:39,267 Uh... what-what happened to... 177 00:08:39,334 --> 00:08:40,467 Veronica? 178 00:08:40,534 --> 00:08:41,467 Pff! 179 00:08:41,534 --> 00:08:43,734 I dumped her. 180 00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,667 Spence kamer, Mike Flaherty. 181 00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:47,767 Mike Flaherty. 182 00:08:47,834 --> 00:08:49,467 Hey, uh, Spence. Hey, Mike. 183 00:08:49,534 --> 00:08:51,634 So, Spence, when's this mystery woman showing up? 184 00:08:51,701 --> 00:08:54,667 Actually, I asked her to come by a little later, 185 00:08:54,734 --> 00:08:56,501 because I wanted to talk to you about something 186 00:08:56,567 --> 00:08:58,133 while we were, uh, alone. 187 00:09:00,167 --> 00:09:03,267 that's ok. I have no secrets from Mike. 188 00:09:04,701 --> 00:09:06,701 We're very close. 189 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,734 Ok. Carter, Melissa and I are getting married. 190 00:09:10,801 --> 00:09:13,167 To who? 191 00:09:13,234 --> 00:09:15,801 Listen, Carter, I found out a lot about myself 192 00:09:15,868 --> 00:09:18,634 in the last year, and the fact is, I'm straight, 193 00:09:18,701 --> 00:09:20,400 and we're getting married. 194 00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:22,634 I came here to ask you to be my best man. 195 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,667 I can't believe what I'm hearing. 196 00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:33,000 all right - let me get this straight. 197 00:09:34,501 --> 00:09:37,601 Lemme cut straight to the Chase. 198 00:09:37,667 --> 00:09:39,868 I can't stop saying "straight. " 199 00:09:41,868 --> 00:09:43,200 This uncomfortable for you? 200 00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:44,801 A little bit. Yeah. 201 00:09:44,868 --> 00:09:46,868 So it's not just me. No. 202 00:09:46,934 --> 00:09:48,267 Well, we got that straight. 203 00:09:49,968 --> 00:09:52,133 You sure you're all right? Oh, I'm fine. 204 00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,868 I think the bleeding's almost stopped. 205 00:09:55,133 --> 00:09:56,534 so... 206 00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:57,534 Do you trust me? 207 00:09:57,601 --> 00:09:59,033 Forever. 208 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,567 Well, that's good. 209 00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:02,033 Because... 210 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:03,400 Ooh! 211 00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:06,467 Are you going to interrogate me until you break my will 212 00:10:06,534 --> 00:10:08,801 and I submit to your every desire? 213 00:10:08,868 --> 00:10:11,300 No. I just thought this would be neat. 214 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,934 Now, don't be afraid. Ok. 215 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,634 This is just phase 2. 216 00:10:19,834 --> 00:10:22,000 oh, I know that sound. 217 00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:23,901 Phase 3... 218 00:10:23,968 --> 00:10:26,300 Is a carriage ride around the city. 219 00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:29,100 Ooh! Those are expensive. 220 00:10:29,167 --> 00:10:31,534 Well... I have a coupon. 221 00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:37,067 Drink. 222 00:10:39,667 --> 00:10:41,434 And now, my darling, 223 00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:43,667 Chase it down with this. 224 00:10:44,934 --> 00:10:47,000 Mmm! 225 00:10:47,067 --> 00:10:49,834 What is that taste? It's very interesting. Mmm. 226 00:10:49,901 --> 00:10:52,000 How could you not know what a strawberry tastes like? 227 00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:57,734 how was I supposed to know she was allergic to strawberries? 228 00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,667 Refresh my memory. 229 00:11:00,734 --> 00:11:02,734 Was phase 3 the romantic carriage ride 230 00:11:02,801 --> 00:11:04,234 or the trip to the emergency room? 231 00:11:05,634 --> 00:11:07,267 You should have seen her. 232 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,367 Her head swelled up. Her face turned blue. 233 00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:11,801 She looked like that crazy girl from Willy wonka. 234 00:11:14,334 --> 00:11:15,901 Will you look at Nikki? 235 00:11:15,968 --> 00:11:18,300 If I didn't know her, I'd make a move on her. 236 00:11:18,367 --> 00:11:20,834 But I do know her. And she knows me. 237 00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:23,267 If you're gonna make a move, you gotta have an edge. 238 00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:24,801 You can't be normal, James. 239 00:11:26,234 --> 00:11:27,334 Hey, James. Brought you a beer. 240 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:28,601 You wanted a light, right? 241 00:11:28,667 --> 00:11:30,567 Yeah, thanks. Hey, Nikki, 242 00:11:30,634 --> 00:11:32,434 let's sit over at that table. 243 00:11:32,501 --> 00:11:33,534 Why? 244 00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:36,200 Why? 245 00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:39,267 Why? 246 00:11:39,334 --> 00:11:41,234 Paul feels really bad about Claudia, 247 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:43,167 and I'd just like a moment alone 248 00:11:43,234 --> 00:11:44,234 to comfort him. 249 00:11:46,567 --> 00:11:47,868 Ok. 250 00:11:52,734 --> 00:11:54,534 I really appreciate that, Stuart. 251 00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:57,801 I really do, because my relationship with Claudia is- 252 00:11:57,868 --> 00:11:58,968 don't care. 253 00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:03,601 I'll be rational about this. 254 00:12:03,667 --> 00:12:05,267 I'm sure this happens to thousands of people 255 00:12:05,334 --> 00:12:06,834 thousands of times. 256 00:12:08,767 --> 00:12:10,000 You really think so? 257 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,167 I'm sorry. You-you were starting to talk. 258 00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:17,834 I made him straight, Mike. 259 00:12:20,234 --> 00:12:21,567 I mean, how would you feel 260 00:12:21,634 --> 00:12:22,868 if a woman you were dating 261 00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:25,000 left you to be with another woman? 262 00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:27,300 Just a second. 263 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000 Trying to picture it. 264 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,701 It's not just that he's moved on. 265 00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:35,667 It's that... Everything about my life 266 00:12:35,734 --> 00:12:37,701 says that I've been standing still. 267 00:12:37,767 --> 00:12:39,567 He's changed his sexual orientation. 268 00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:42,934 I can't even change the message on my answering machine! 269 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,467 You are being too hard on yourself. All right? 270 00:12:45,534 --> 00:12:48,033 You bought that new bread maker. 271 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:50,601 Thanks, Mike. I'll cling to that. 272 00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:54,501 Spence knows me better than anybody else in the world. 273 00:12:54,567 --> 00:12:56,501 It probably took him 5 seconds to figure out 274 00:12:56,567 --> 00:12:57,634 I was still waiting for him. 275 00:12:57,701 --> 00:13:00,868 He's gonna come back feeling sorry for me. 276 00:13:00,934 --> 00:13:02,334 I don't think I can take that. 277 00:13:03,467 --> 00:13:04,400 Listen, Carter... 278 00:13:05,634 --> 00:13:06,901 I've been through this. 279 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,634 Well, not exactly this, but... 280 00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:13,634 Something very similar, and-and- 281 00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:16,701 and I know how painful this can be. 282 00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:20,701 If there's anything I can do for you, 283 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:22,634 just ask, all right? 284 00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:26,734 Even if-even if I can make tonight a little bit easier. 285 00:13:26,801 --> 00:13:28,133 You know, I-I'm at your service. 286 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,067 I'm in your corner. I'm on your team. 287 00:13:49,501 --> 00:13:50,901 Thanks, honey. 288 00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:56,868 Isn't this just great? 289 00:13:56,934 --> 00:13:58,534 I mean, I can't believe this. 290 00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:01,133 The two of you, the two of us sitting here, 291 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:02,667 getting to know each other. 292 00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:12,601 Me, too. 293 00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:14,934 Michael? 294 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,067 Isn't this great? 295 00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:22,367 Oh, sure... 296 00:14:22,434 --> 00:14:23,534 Honey. 297 00:14:25,634 --> 00:14:27,000 S- so, Melissa... 298 00:14:29,033 --> 00:14:30,200 how'd you two meet? 299 00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:32,834 We worked together on an ad campaign. 300 00:14:32,901 --> 00:14:35,367 It would have been love at first sight, but I thought he was gay. 301 00:14:35,434 --> 00:14:36,901 He was! 302 00:14:38,734 --> 00:14:40,701 Does anybody want a beer or... 303 00:14:40,767 --> 00:14:42,801 I, uh, I'll take a couple dozen. 304 00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:45,767 I'll help you. 305 00:14:45,834 --> 00:14:47,868 Oh, I don't know. Few minutes alone with you, 306 00:14:47,934 --> 00:14:50,100 I might come back straight! 307 00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,834 hell, I might come back white! 308 00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:56,701 James, really, this is unnecessary. 309 00:14:56,767 --> 00:14:59,000 Ah, yes, but a gesture is romantic 310 00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:01,634 largely because it is unnecessary. 311 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:04,400 Think about it. 312 00:15:14,767 --> 00:15:16,734 I'd rather not. 313 00:15:16,801 --> 00:15:18,968 James, you're acting really weird. 314 00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:21,534 Listen, Nikki, uh... 315 00:15:21,601 --> 00:15:24,367 You think you know me, but you don't. 316 00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:26,267 You only know a... 317 00:15:26,334 --> 00:15:27,734 Office James. 318 00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:31,067 Don't get me wrong. Great guy. Love him. 319 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,334 He's harmless, you know? 320 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:37,767 He's the kinda guy you give your keys to 321 00:15:37,834 --> 00:15:40,367 if you needed someone to feed your cats. 322 00:15:40,434 --> 00:15:41,634 You have never met... 323 00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,601 ...after hours James. 324 00:15:45,667 --> 00:15:47,501 After hours James. 325 00:15:47,567 --> 00:15:51,234 Let us just say you don't give your keys to... 326 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:53,267 After hours James. 327 00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:57,868 You lock your door. 328 00:15:57,934 --> 00:16:00,000 I'm gonna go to the bathroom, 329 00:16:00,067 --> 00:16:01,801 and when I come back, 330 00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:04,133 I wanna meet one of two people- 331 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,701 either office James... 332 00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:09,434 Or outside hailing a cab James. 333 00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:14,334 I'll tell ya, you... 334 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,801 You're a very lucky guy. 335 00:16:20,767 --> 00:16:22,234 Oh, you mean Carter. 336 00:16:23,767 --> 00:16:24,868 Lucky. 337 00:16:28,167 --> 00:16:29,133 Lucky me. 338 00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:31,400 You know, Mike, 339 00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:34,167 you are exactly Carter's type. 340 00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,434 Super. 341 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:41,567 So, Michael, 342 00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:42,968 when did you come out? 343 00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:44,234 Uh... huh? 344 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,667 Oh. 345 00:16:45,734 --> 00:16:46,901 Forget it. Don't say anything. 346 00:16:46,968 --> 00:16:49,200 I can tell. You haven't yet, have you? 347 00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:51,033 Uh, well... 348 00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:53,033 Manhattan is... 349 00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,834 Such a conservative town. 350 00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:03,200 ah. So, Carter, 351 00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:05,734 whaddaya say? 352 00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:07,601 Would ya like to be my best man? 353 00:17:07,667 --> 00:17:10,501 I - I'd love to, but I'm really busy. 354 00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:13,033 We haven't set a date yet. We could plan it around your schedule. 355 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:17,400 Busy, busy, busy. I can barely come up for air. 356 00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:18,968 Tell him. Tell him, Mike. 357 00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,300 Busy as a little bee. 358 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,801 Come on, Carter. Don't be like this. 359 00:17:28,868 --> 00:17:30,400 Stop pushing me. 360 00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:31,934 You always did that. It's driving me crazy. 361 00:17:32,033 --> 00:17:34,334 It's not gonna happen, ok?! 362 00:17:40,267 --> 00:17:42,601 Can't you say something to him? 363 00:17:42,667 --> 00:17:43,634 You know what he's like 364 00:17:43,701 --> 00:17:45,167 when he's in one of his moods. 365 00:17:49,300 --> 00:17:52,467 My date was a bust. Thank you, Nikki. 366 00:17:52,534 --> 00:17:54,501 Carter, how'd things go with Spence? 367 00:17:54,567 --> 00:17:58,200 He's not even my type anymore. I don't know what I was thinking. 368 00:17:58,267 --> 00:17:59,734 Paul, you and Claudia? 369 00:17:59,801 --> 00:18:01,234 Tried to kill her. 370 00:18:05,033 --> 00:18:06,834 Hi, Veronica. 371 00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:11,033 Hi. Look, I been doing a lot of thinking, 372 00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,300 and I decided I acted badly earlier. 373 00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:14,968 I made a big mistake. 374 00:18:15,033 --> 00:18:18,067 You're a man. I'm a woman. It's Valentine's day. 375 00:18:18,133 --> 00:18:20,501 There's no reason we shouldn't have sex. 376 00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:25,701 Ok. Is this real, 377 00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:28,834 or did someone set this up to make me crazy? 378 00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:34,934 All right, hold on a minute, all right? 379 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,000 You know, I have feelings. 380 00:18:37,067 --> 00:18:39,734 You can't just come waltzing in here and expect me- 381 00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:41,567 yes or no? Yes. 382 00:18:41,634 --> 00:18:43,501 I'll let you say good-bye to your friends, 383 00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:44,968 and I'll be right back. 384 00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:54,534 Well, who says you don't get rewarded for good deeds? 385 00:18:56,634 --> 00:18:58,100 Hey, Spence! 386 00:19:05,934 --> 00:19:09,067 Listen, Carter, I couldn't leave it like that. 387 00:19:09,133 --> 00:19:13,400 Welcome to our table of romantic failures, Spence. 388 00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:15,567 Yeah. Mike's the only lucky one here tonight. 389 00:19:15,634 --> 00:19:17,534 Of course. He's got Carter. 390 00:19:18,968 --> 00:19:20,467 Mike and Carter? Whaddaya mean Mike and cart- 391 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,100 ow! Ow! 392 00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:23,868 Somebody kicked me! 393 00:19:23,934 --> 00:19:26,234 Sorry. Sorry. I was just uncrossing my legs. 394 00:19:26,300 --> 00:19:27,234 No problem. 395 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,601 Whaddaya mean Mike and- 396 00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:29,601 ow! 397 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,934 Ow! Ow! 398 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,868 Sorry. Me again. Me again. Just getting crowded there. 399 00:19:34,934 --> 00:19:36,934 Well, please! I bruise easily. 400 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,234 What-ow! 401 00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:39,834 Ow! 402 00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,200 That was me. 403 00:19:46,267 --> 00:19:48,467 I mean, why shouldn't I get to play? 404 00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:54,467 Uh, Spence, Mike and I haven't told everyone here 405 00:19:54,534 --> 00:19:57,734 that we were in love... yet. 406 00:19:59,601 --> 00:20:01,734 I can't believe this. 407 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,634 You finally... 408 00:20:04,701 --> 00:20:06,834 Tell me you love me... 409 00:20:08,634 --> 00:20:11,033 ...you do it here. 410 00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:13,200 So, you wanna get outta here? 411 00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:25,901 Boy, are you barkin' up the wrong tree. 412 00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,334 Then I guess I'll be going. 413 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,000 I'll see you to the door. 414 00:20:36,434 --> 00:20:38,033 Happy Valentine's day, fellas. 415 00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,601 You know, I work with Nikki, too. 416 00:20:40,667 --> 00:20:42,534 You're not Stuart, right? 417 00:20:42,601 --> 00:20:43,601 No. 418 00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:50,033 Well, you did the right thing. 419 00:20:50,100 --> 00:20:51,934 Feel better? 420 00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:53,968 No, not really. 421 00:20:54,033 --> 00:20:56,834 Wish you were a little more petty and vindictive? 422 00:20:56,901 --> 00:20:58,634 Yeah, pretty much. 423 00:20:58,701 --> 00:21:00,734 I know how that goes. 424 00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,734 I still want him in my life. 425 00:21:02,801 --> 00:21:04,200 So... 426 00:21:05,601 --> 00:21:07,901 This is being gay. 427 00:21:10,767 --> 00:21:12,534 Yeah. This is what we're fighting for. 428 00:21:15,567 --> 00:21:18,133 As much as I'd like to hang around and experiment, 429 00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,534 I must get back to the heterosexual world. 430 00:21:20,601 --> 00:21:22,934 Mike, I really appreciate- 431 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:25,334 no, don't. Don't even say it. 432 00:21:26,968 --> 00:21:28,601 You were there for me, 433 00:21:28,667 --> 00:21:30,667 and whenever you need it, 434 00:21:30,734 --> 00:21:32,067 I'll be there for you. 435 00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:33,133 Good. 436 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,968 Wedding's in June. 437 00:21:37,167 --> 00:21:39,300 You're gonna need to get a tux. 438 00:21:44,734 --> 00:21:46,767 Oh, I ruined Valentine's day. 439 00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:48,767 Oh, Paulie, it's just one night. 440 00:21:48,834 --> 00:21:51,234 Besides, it's, what, only 10 to 12:00. 441 00:21:51,300 --> 00:21:54,200 There's still time left for romance. 442 00:21:54,267 --> 00:21:55,234 Really? 443 00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:56,400 Yeah. 444 00:21:56,467 --> 00:21:57,667 Why don't you start by getting me a drink? 445 00:21:57,734 --> 00:21:59,267 I could use one. 446 00:22:00,901 --> 00:22:01,868 That'll take too long. 447 00:22:01,934 --> 00:22:03,834 Here, take mine. I'll get a fresh one. 448 00:22:03,901 --> 00:22:06,267 Ok. Thank you, honey. 449 00:22:06,334 --> 00:22:07,634 Mmm. 450 00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,601 I know that taste. 451 00:22:09,667 --> 00:22:11,701 It's a daiquiri. 452 00:22:11,767 --> 00:22:13,667 I'll call an ambulance. 453 00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:17,634 Sit, ubu, sit. Good dog. 454 00:22:17,684 --> 00:22:22,234 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31082

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