All language subtitles for Spin City s01e10 The Competition.eng

that's right. Go ahead.

Play, recreate. Just tell me
if I'm in your way.

Actually, Mike,
I could use a hostage.

We got 2 days
till Thanksgiving.

Nobody gets any work done.

Oh, I see what's going on.

You're staring
at a 4-day weekend.

You're thinking,

hey, 4 whole days.
Why not make it 5?

So then you're at 5 mentally,

you look around,
no one seems too ticked off,

so you think, why not go for 6?
Am I right?

Basically. Yeah.

I know how your minds work.

I was a low-level grunt
myself once.

Thanks.
Just knowing you care.

Look at this.
This is very revealing.

The youngest member of staff

is the only one working.

Miss you, too, honey.

Yeah. Gotta go.

I'm kissing you back.

I gotta go.
I really-

yeah. Uh-huh.
Love you a lot.

Bye-bye.

I wish you hadn't done that.

you think this is funny?

I never said
I loved her before.

Well, I got you over that hump.

She's my
High-school girlfriend.

She's still back in Wisconsin.

She thinks...
She thinks that...

She thinks we'll
talk about it later.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Please. Go on.
Go on.

This is, uh...

This is why I got
into politics.

We've been dating
on and off forever.

I'm not even sure
what she wants from me.

At this point
I'm just thinking...

Shh.
That was sarcasm.

It was.

How long have you
been going with her?

7 years.

You never said you loved her?

No.

I talked with her
for 30 seconds, and I told her.

I know, Stuart, but it's hard.

I know that I'm ready
to move on.

I just don't want
to hurt her feelings.

You know, James, if I may,

you're just too nice a guy.

Take it from another nice guy.

You're only hurting yourself.

No, just tell her

she'll always have a special
place in your heart,

but you're not the one for her.

She should find
someone who loves her

the way she deserves
to be loved.

What am I, some kind of savage?

All right.
Get off my back.

I'm only repeating
what I heard last night.

Storm's coming, Mike.

Well, Lisa, Lisa.
Always nice to see

one of the city
council staffers.

A fine morning, isn't it?

I'm here to talk about
Thanksgiving.

Ok. I'm surprised
you don't know this,

but our forefathers
came over on a big boat...

The contest. The mayor's
charity Thanksgiving dinner

against the city council's.

You can't be serious.

Simple scoring system.

One man, one meal,
seconds don't count,

desserts are optional.

Whoever feeds
the most people wins.

I always enjoy our little
competitive events.

I mean, the volleyball,
the touch football,

your personal favorite,
the greco-roman wrestling,

but I'm a little
uncomfortable with the idea

betting on who can feed
the most homeless people.

Why don't we just line
them up and race them?

Come on, Flaherty.

We'll still be doing good.

It's just a perk that I get
to kick your butt again.

I promise you,
it won't be as bad

as the time I struck you out
in slow-pitch softball.

I hate when you bring that up.

I should have realized that when
one is so continuously beaten,

you lose the will
to even compete.

I tell you what.
I'll be in my office.

You give me a call if you get
the stones to get in the game.

Ooh! What the hell
was that?

Did she just question
my stones?

I don't believe that woman.

I think I'm in love.

You know, Mike, I'm just glad

you didn't stoop to her level.

This is about
feeding people in need,

not about who loses
and who wins.

Oh, we're going to win, James.

We're going to win big.

Hey.

I can't believe I didn't
get one of these sooner.

Perfect exercise companion
for a mayor on the go.

It's a small demographic,
don't you think, sir?

I can make phone calls, watch
tv, read the newspaper.

Hey, watch me read, Mike.

I'm walking and reading.

Whoa! Bet you can't do
this in central park, huh?

What have you got lined up for
me on the Thanksgiving front?

You have the photo op

in front of Gracie
mansion with the Turkey.

I don't like to meet my
food before I eat it, Mike.

Oh, no. This guy's
just for show, sir.

You won't be eating him.

You'll be eating his brother.

You know, I was thinking.

Since this is our first
Thanksgiving in office,

I'd like to do something
meaningful for the less fortunate.

Well, we, uh...

We, uh... we have
that little competition

with the city council, sir,
the annual charity dinner.

Oh, great.
Count me in.

What's the wager?

One of those paperweights-

new York skyline in a bubble.

You shake it up and it snows.

When was
the last time the may-

why am I yelling?

When was the last time the
mayor's office got it?

Well, I did a little
research, your honor.

It was, uh...
About 13 years ago.

We're in office now, and
I say crush them, huh?

That's the spirit.

Hey, look at you, sir.
You're walking and dialing.

Walking and dialing.

Speaker rosen, please.

I bet rosen doesn't do 45
minutes of cardio every day.

He's shaped like a giant
pear, big old blubbery-

Saul! It's Randall.

I'm calling about
the kids' little bakeoff.

What do you say you and I make
things a little more interesting?

We've got 2 locations
lined up-

st. Mary's church

and st. Stephen's church.

It's 1996, which is
an even-numbered year,

so the mayor's office
has first pick.

Uh, great.
We'll, uh...

We'll take st. Mary's.

Then we've got
st. Stephen's.

Yes!

Yes. So we've got
alphabet city,

we get the East village,
we get the bowery,

and you have
the Lincoln center crowd.

Maybe they'll drop by
after the opera.

You've got
st. Mary's. Good.

So, now,
I've typed up a memo-

wait a minute.
Wait a minute. Wait. Wait.

Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

What's wrong
with st. Mary's?

Nothing.

All right.
I changed my mind.

I want st. Stephen's.

Fine. So, now,
as I was saying-

actually, if it's all
the same to you,

I will keep the lower East side and st.
Stephen's.

That's st. Mary's.

You bet it is.

Be my guest.

What aren't you telling me?

Gave you my memo, you're ok
with the lower East side,

everything is all set.

No, no. Wait. Wait.
Wait a minute.

I changed my mind.
I want st. Stephen's.

Whatever.

Did you just trick me?

I don't know.
You tell me.

All right. Ok.
This isn't fair.

Because this isn't about
winning or losing.

This is about doing good.

This is about helping people.

You just keep
telling yourself that.

My Boss assigned me
to city hall for 2 days.

There is nothing going on.

Everybody is walking around
talking about a charity dinner.

You know, if I'm a viewer,

I want to see that dinner,

especially the handsome man
who helped organize it.

Mike, how many times do I
have to tell you this?

Nobody cares about you.

Thank you, honey.
That's comforting.

Except me.

Look, I don't think
you get this.

If I can get
one hot, edgy story,

I am in this slot permanently.

You know, Janet,
she moved to Boston.

Wow, that's big.

Who's Janet?

You know.
She's a reporter

who covers city hall
for my station.

Tall, blond, great body.

Janet moved?

I- I-I-I mean, you really
think she's got a good body?

I never noticed.

In the spirit of the season, the mayor's
office and the speaker's office

will each sponsor a free
Thanksgiving dinner

for members of the community.

Canned goods can be dropped off

at city hall outside
the mayor's office.

Or at speaker rosen's office.

The mayor's office, of course,

is conveniently located
on the first floor.

We're also on the first
floor, closer to the door.

We're going to have a man
standing on the steps outside

with a large
cardboard box. Yes?

What sort of a menu
will you be serving?

The mayor's office
will be serving

the traditional Turkey
dinner with all the fixin's.

The speaker's office
will be offering

a choice of Turkey,
ham, or sausage

with more fixin's.

Yes, Ashley.

Do you have any real news
for us today?

We're having Pumpkin pie.

We're having cobbler.

All right, everybody.

Zero hour approaches.

Tomorrow we go out there,
and we feed a hungry city.

Whose Pumpkin pie is this?

Uh, that's mine.

That's a store-bought pie,
isn't it?

Anybody else here
buy their desserts?

Huh! I assumed
you made yours.

Yeah. The gay guy's
the only one who bakes.

I also knit those little
napkins, you putz.

You guys want to win
this thing or not?

Yeah, well,
whatever.

I told the mayor we were
going to deliver for him.

I even got him to up the bet.

When the city council loses,

they got to stand up
at the next council meeting

and sing the song of our choice
from West side story.

Ha ha ha!

I hope it's I feel pretty.

I love that song.

So they have to do this
at an official meeting

in front of the cameras?

Wait a second.
If we lose,

do we have to sing
a song, Mike?

No. No, no,
no, no, no.

Not from West side story.

Oh, Mike!

I swear to God,
I'll kill myself where I stand

if it's from cats.

The sound of music.

Oh, God!

It wasn't bad enough
we had to buy them beer

after they beat us in softball?

It wasn't that bad.

Forever!

We have to buy them
beer forever!

Just look at you people.

It's like you lost already.

I am not going to stand here

and listen to negative talk.

Not me. Not this guy.

I'm going down to that church,

I'm going to do a little recon,

then I'm going to get us ready

and lead us
down the path to victory!

Now, who's with me?

Who wants to skip out
a few hours of work?

Aren't you going to go play
spy with the older boys?

I've got to finish
this letter to Becky.

I think this is it.
I'm trying to let her down gently.

You've been seeing her
for 7 years.

Gently is no longer an option.

It's not that serious.

What do you mean?

She's probably in Wisconsin

thinking that you're
going to be the one.

I meant it's not
that serious for me.

I know you're trying
to be mr. Nice guy,

but you'll make it much harder
for her in the long run.

You don't think-

no. Any time over 3 years
requires vocal contact.

Hello, is Becky there, please?

Hello, James.

Wow, what a connection.

She's behind me, isn't she?

Hi, Becky.

She tricked me!

I like it.

It screams "witch's
cottage in the forest. "

You should have seen the
kitchen at st. Mary's.

Completely remodeled!
Spotless!

Paul! Paul!

Chrome fixtures-

don't make me come over there.

This is doable.

It depends on
what you want to do.

If you want to get tetanus,
it's definitely doable.

Mike, hi!

I see you've found
the "kitchen. "

Oh, yeah, it was easy.

We just followed the bread
crumbs through the forest.

I wasn't even going to
attempt a church switch,

but we were in your office,
and it was right there.

"I want st. Mary's!" "I want st.
Stephen's!" "I want st. Mary's!"

What's a poor girl to do?

We knew it was like this.

That's why we picked
it. We love this!

Yeah, right.

Just like you meant to miss that
last pitch by about 3 feet.

I hate when she brings that up!

We had great thanksgivings
at my family.

It wasn't always that way.

Believe it or not, I actually
came out on Thanksgiving.

Oh, how'd you pull that off?

Very subtle.

"Dad, great job
carving the Turkey.

I'm a homosexual. "

Well, every year, I go
to my sister's house,

hug her 3 beautiful children,

then my family gathers
round, ties me to a chair,

and ask questions about why
I'm not married yet.

Hey. Me, my mom, my dad, 3 hungry
man dinners, and a big box of wine.

First "I hate you"
comes out around 9:30.

Ok, guys.
Well, you got 2 options:

You can either go in here
and start working,

or can stand here and start
learning edelweiss.

We would have gone in, Mike, but we
didn't want to disturb the rats.

They're decorating
for their Christmas party.

O ye of little faith.

Geez! Mike, what did you do?
Rob an appliance store?

Made a few calls.

Look, we have plates
and utensils over there,

and every cooking implement
known to man.

We got a spatula.

We got your, uh...
Your, uh...

Your squirty thing.

These are technical terms,
but I know you'll catch on.

hello.

Big daddy to home base.
Big daddy to home base.

Come in, Paul.

Big daddy does not copy.

Paul, I can hear you perfectly.

Still not copying.

Paul...

come in, big daddy.

Roger, home base.

What's the situation
over there?

They've already
started cooking, ok?

I'll check in again later.

This is big daddy-

all right, Lisa's already started.
We got to get moving.

I got a refrigerated truck out back.
I got 30 birds.

All gutless, headless,
and happy to be here.

I'll coordinate everything.

I just need someone to be
in charge of the cooking.

I'll do it.

That's the kind of
enthusiasm I'm looking for.

You like to cook?

No. But I do so love
being in charge.

Now, fetch me some
spices and some pans

and, what the hell, give
me that squirty thing.

You can't cook at all, can you?

Not a lick.

I thought the subway was nice,

and I really like
the soup kitchen,

but since I'm only
in town for 2 days,

maybe we could see
something else.

I've got to be honest
with you, Becky.

There's really not that
much to see in new York.

Listen, Becky...

Ok, this isn't easy
for me to say, but, uh-

you know, I'm so glad
I came to see you.

I've been really
depressed lately.

You remember my cat
mr. Tuggles? He died.

He was my best friend
in the whole world.

I mean, besides you.

that makes things difficult.

My family totally rallied
around me, though.

It was funny because
my mom gave me a cat,

and my sister gave me a cat.

It really cheered me up.

Aw, that's great.

So what I was saying
to you is that-

of course, they
didn't get along.

No, of course, they didn't.

In fact, the cat
my sister gave me

actually killed the cat
my mom gave me.

You don't say.

Hey, wait, wait-
is that right?

Are you questioning my ability
to do simple arithmetic?

Why, it's just, uh...

I don't know.
That number seems a little low.

Perhaps you're not
following my system.

Whenever a person
walks through the door,

I put a mark on the board.

I respect your position as our
team's impartial counter.

I took a pledge, Mike.

Yeah, I appreciate that.

I was thinking maybe you
could come up with a more...

Effective system.

You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?

You realize the depths
you've sunken to?

I was here first.
No, I was!

Don't push me!
Will you shut up?

That's 2.

I can't break up with her.
I mean, what would I say?

Well, first off, you
should tell that girl

to think about getting
a dog next time.

James, you can't keep
stringing her along.

You've got to say something.

Say nothing. Keep miss
in-love-with-you on your back burner.

My back burner.

Yeah.

You see, the hot stuff, the
stuff I pay attention to

I keep on my front burners,

but I always have
a few lonely pots

simmering in the back,

yearning for me to stir them.

That's beautiful, Stuart.

Yeah, well, sometimes a girl's
just happy to be on the stove.

Where's my damn poultry?

It's still cooking.

We're running out of time.
Just turn the oven up.

I'm giving
it all she's got, captain!

Come in, talk to me, big daddy.

Mike, they're
wrapping it up here.

I don't think they're
serving anymore.

Paul, are you eating?

No.

Why?

Just give me the final number.

They've had 247 very
satisfied customers.

Ok, they're at 247.

We have 245.

No! No, I will not lose to this
woman again, do you hear me?

Thank you.

Some more hungry settlers.

Great, sir.
That puts us over the top.

Great! Let's have at
that Turkey.

Turkey! Ah, Carter,
how much time do we have?

Hold on, uh, ok, ok...

2 minutes!

You've got exactly 2 minutes.

Mike!

Mike, what are you doing?
It's not ready yet.

That's all right.
I'll just, uh...

I'll check its vital signs.

Nope. Nothing.
This bird is dead.

Let's carve it up.

No, Mike, the thingamajig
hasn't popped up yet.

Yep. Happy Thanksgiving.

Ok, what would you like?

White meat or, uh...

Whiter meat?

For 3 unlucky men, the mayor's annual
Thanksgiving feast turned into a nightmare.

Not only were they treated to a free meal,
but also to a mild case of food poisoning.

The culprit?
Undercooked Turkey.

While no lasting harm was done,

the memory of a hand outstretched
in kindness, only to inflict pain,

will stay with these gentlemen
for a long, long time.

This is Ashley schaeffer,
channel 10 news.

I'm baaaaack.

You're back. You're back with
your typical liberal media bias.

245 satisfied diners and
you focus on the 3 guys-

who spent the night
in the hospital.

In private rooms!

Thank you, Paul.
In private rooms on the city's tab.

Whatever helps you
sleep at night.

Ok, I'll see you at home,
and, um, tell you what.

I'll cook tonight.

It's nice of you

to take the bus back to
Wisconsin with me, James.

Oh, well, I really
wanted to see my folks.

Plus you shouldn't
travel alone.

I'm not.

Can you believe they were giving
away cats at the bus station?

Oh, good luck, little Buddy.

So are we going to have some
time to spend with one another

when we get home?

Ok. To tell you
the truth,

I really don't think
that would be a good idea.

You know, you see,
Becky, I, um...

I, um, oh, boy,
this is hard for me.

The truth is, Becky,
as much as I want to...

I don't think we should
see each other anymore.

I just think it's best
that way for both of us.

Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be
pulling into Wisconsin in about 14 hours.

Ok, that probably
wasn't the best timing.

* so long, farewell,
auf wiedersehen, adieu *

* adieu *

* adieu, to yieu
and yieu and yieu *

are you enjoying the
performance, speaker rosen?

I'm having a ball!

Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

Moo.

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