All language subtitles for Spin City s01e09 Meet Tommy Dugan.eng

Folks, in about 5 minutes,

the mayor's going to stand
up in front of the press

and move forward with our plan
to "streamline" the budget.

Nice way of
putting it, Michael.

"Streamline.
" very innocuous, very soothing.

Pauly, tell you what.

When I raise my hand like this,

that means I want you to
critique my word choice, ok?

Sounds like a plan.

I know it hasn't
been fun here lately,

but that's just the way it
is when you're streamlining.

We ran on a platform of no
budget cuts and no layoffs,

and we're about to
announce that

we're cutting the budget
and laying people off.

Does anyone else see
the irony in that?

We could get the guy that did
the crazy Eddie commercials.

"We're slashing!
Cutting!

Budgets so low, we're practically
giving city hall away!"

I... saw the irony
in that.

I got to tell you, Mike,
I have been living

with this budget for months.

It's fiscally sound.

All of our cost increases

have been kept below
inflation levels.

Great. We'll
just tell that

to all the people
we're firing today.

I'm sure it'll
perk them right up.

Ahh... frustrated.
I'm sorry. I apologize.

I accept.

I wasn't apologizing to you.

I was apologizing to Nikki.

I accept for Nikki.

I have the answer.

The annual public schools mayor
for a day essay contest winner

is due here any minute.

Another public relations gem

from the man who brought you

the muffins with
the mayor program.

If the kid is cute, it could
be a good distraction.

The press eats up
that wide-eyed stuff.

Yeah. It's worth
a shot.

Fetch the boy.

We'll parade him out
in front of the press,

get a few photo ops, and then we'll
release him back into society

well on his way to becoming a
cynical, disillusioned adult.

Great. Maybe
he'll be able to work here.

As you all know, balancing the
city budget is tricky business.

The budget for the city

is not unlike the budget
you might have in your own home,

except, of course, we're dealing
with billions of dollars here,

and in your own home,
you're probably not.

take a few questions.

Know what? I'll take
a few questions.

Yeah.

Sir, the general
feeling of the public

is that you're out of touch

with the human costs of the
cuts that you're proposing.

That wasn't a question.

Next.

You see what's
happening out there?

The mayor's trotting out his "that
wasn't a question" defense.

Get me the mayor for a day kid.

Mike, let me just-

I want the kid.
Get me the kid. Ok, ok.

Mike, this is Tommy dugan.

Yeah.
How you doing?

Hey!

Hi. Uh...
Don't you worry.

We're going to take real
good care of your son today.

Well, I appreciate that, sir,
but I don't have a son.

Well, your daughter.

No.

You?

Ha. Took a while,
but I knew you'd get there.

Paul.

His essay was postmarked

public school 423.

I'm-I'm
the janitor there.

Yeah.

This contest was
supposed to be for kids.

Well, I hate to
ruffle your feathers,

but the rules did say
"for children of all ages. "

All right, you guys.
I got these stats-

well! Who do we
have here?

Tommy dugan, mayor for a day.

You mind if I look in there?

How can he
be the-

oh, don't ask.

So is our mayor
for the day married?

Oh, I don't know.
Uh, uh...

Paul, maybe that's a good one

for next year's questionnaire.

Right after, uh...

"Are you a grown man?"

Am I married?

Do I have a son?
Do I have a daughter?

This really is a family-oriented
administration.

Look, uh, Tommy, uh...

I- we appreciate
your efforts,

and I'm sure that your
essay was topnotch.

And trust me- you'll
get your certificate,

you'll get that photo of
you on the mayor's lap...

But you have to understand.

We can't take you out
there and introduce you-

Mike, you may want to
take a look at this.

Excuse me, uh, Tommy.

That wasn't a question, either.

I asked if you plan to announce
any other budget cuts today.

Yes, but your voice
didn't go up at the end.

Welcome aboard, little fella.

Oh! Aw...

This is good news.

The winner of our public schools mayor
for a day essay contest is here.

Now, that's exciting, isn't it?

Ok. Let's meet him now.

From public school 423
in Brooklyn,

little Tommy dugan.

It's an honor, sir.

Who the hell are you?

Tommy dugan, sir.

What?

You know, I could do
without the "little" part.

That doesn't exactly
help with the ladies.

Mr. Dugan-
mr. Dugan-

oh, just call me Tommy

or, you know, mayor Tommy.
Whatever.

This has to be a joke.

Well, now, that wasn't
really a question, was it?

So, mayor Tommy...

How did you end up
getting this job?

Well, heart and desire, sir.

I think I just wanted it

more than some
of the other kids.

Are you a democrat
or a republican?

Well, ma'am, now that I'm
officially a politician,

let me ask you-

what do you want me to be?

Well, fine.

How do you feel about the
proposed 10-cent fare hike?

Well, I guess that really
depends on what it's going for.

If it's going for public
schools, heck, you know,

I'd be willing to kick
in a couple of dimes.

The school that
I work at is so crowded

that they are actually having
some classes in the bathrooms.

I guess there's some pluses.

If a kid's in English class,

he needs to go to the bathroom,

he can always pick up a little
math while he's in there.

This guy is money.

I know, Mike.

I'll get rid of him as soon
as you give me the word.

No, no, no, Paul.
Being money is good.

Oh.

Oh.

I'm usually very hip.

I know.

So you're telling me that
you were not surprised.

No, no, no.
Not at all.

The fact is that
none of the finalists

in the elementary school
essay contest

were under 30.

Can you please look me in the
face while you're saying that?

I don't think I need to.

I want you to admit
that you guys

made a mistake on this one.

If we had, I would.
You know me.

Yes, I know you.

Oh, hey!

Good golly, Molly.
I got an idea.

Why don't you
interview this guy?

You know I made a pledge never
to set foot in this building

until I worked my way up
to the city hall beat.

Then you call me
about a fluff interview

with your mayor for the day?

Excuse me. Fluff?

Well, that makes me
feel good inside...

Especially after all the hours

I spent sifting through those essays

until I handpicked Tommy dugan.

The amazing thing is
you believe what you're saying.

The goal here was to amplify
the voice of the common man,

and the fact that you would
spin that simple truth

is a sad commentary on the
cynicism of the press,

a cynicism that is so corrosive

it is eating away- this
is too much, isn't it?

Way.

Off the record?

I thought he was in the fifth grade.
Paul's an idiot.

There he is.
There's my mayor for a day.

Come on.
Give me another one.

Ah...

You were great out there.

You made us heroes for raising
the price of a subway token...

Not that we're not,

but you know, sometimes
that message gets lost.

Tommy, you seem to have created

what we media gurus
like to call a buzz.

Well, I'm just trying
to be myself, you know?

I'm just
a common-sense guy.

I'm not going to explain complicated
chemistry stuff to you,

but I do know that if you mix
baking soda and lemon juice,

you can get the rust
off a urinal no problem.

Really? Any urinal?

Oh, yeah, by the way.
Oh, gosh.

You know, I was so excited
about coming here,

I wanted to just, uh,
to be prepared,

so I jotted some stuff down
on a- look at that guy.

Oh, here we go.

Now, I hope this isn't,
you know, out of line,

but when mr. Lassiter called me
to tell me I was mayor for a day,

he didn't explain
any parameters, so...

P- Paul,
you spoke to him?

He sounded so much
younger on the phone.

"All public officials must
ride public transportation.

New job hotline
for laid-off workers. "

Tommy, these are good.

Let's have these typed up.

Disregard the mandatory
40% tip for bartenders.

It was late, and I was
getting free drinks.

Good morning, everyone.

Little Tommy, loved your show
in there. Very cute.

Mike, can I see you
in the office?

You know, uh,
Tommy, he's right.

You were great in there today.

Oh, thanks.

You know, it's weird.

I used to get so nervous
talking to people.

It was like I felt like my
tongue didn't fit in my mouth.

Oh, right. Sure.

No, seriously.

Yeah, I'd want to just,
I don't know,

just walk up to a pretty girl,
you know, like yourself,

and say... "your hair is the same color
as leaves at the end of autumn,

"you know, when they're
just so beautiful

you can't take
your eyes off of them,"

but then I'd open my mouth,

and it would just
come out like...

not anymore, huh?

Oh, that was a long time ago.

I
don't have that problem.

Are you sure Tommy isn't going to
be a distraction out there today?

Well, he's not in the office
for the rest of the day.

We got a mayor for the
day schedule here.

According to this,

next he's got
a city hall guided tour

and then a pony ride.

Then a nap.

Aw, gee! A pony ride?

You got to admit, he killed
at the press conference.

I don't understand something.

This kid can just
waltz in here off the street,

and everybody loves him.

You know, I think the answer

might be in this
focus group report.

I thought we were
done with those, Mike.

We had that one
last focus group,

and their recommendation
was more focus groups.

I'm not interested
in the results.

Well, they say some very nice
things about your honor in here.

No. I don't care.
What kind of things?

You might want to read it.

Ahh. I'm not making you
any promises.

They like that about you.

Page 6.

Oh, gee!
Here they come again!

Really,
all I meant to say was-

yeah?

Mr. Mayor, about this
afternoon's press conference.

They'll come after us hard
today, but have no fear.

At lunchtime, I went to my gym,

did a workout on the
speed bag, I'm ready.

Huh? Huh? Whoo!

Sir, you know, I was thinking.

We still got
Tommy dugan hanging around,

and I thought, I don't know,

I thought we might
open up with him.

What?

Tommy dugan could run
for mayor today and win.

Excuse me?

Well, not here.

I mean in a much,
much smaller city.

Somewhere, like,
on the West coast...

Of Africa.

Well, he's a good kid.

A damn lion tamer with
the press, too, huh?

You know, ok.

We could use all the guns
that we got today, Mike.

Speaking of which, sir,

did you look at
the focus group results?

Oh... you know, this
stuff is just nonsense.

I mean, look.

Do you find me detached, huh?

Do you think that my
gestures are threatening?

Uh...

Now, look at this.

Still with the height.

Will they ever let that go?

I'm afraid that one's going
to keep dogging us, sir.

Thanks, everybody.
Thank you.

Ed, Malcolm.
Toby, I love the scarf.

How would you describe your
experience as mayor for a day?

Well, to tell you the truth,
Frank, it's been great.

You know, I've learned so much.

Heck, before today,

I had no idea how many
people worked at city hall.

How many people do work here?

Well, as far as I can tell,
about half.

No. I'm kidding.
I just set you up.

Tommy, would you ever consider
running for public office?

No. Leave that
to the professionals.

I mean, these guys are great.

Of course, they get paid
a lot more than I do.

All I got was lunch.

Uh, thanks, Tommy.

I hate to interrupt here

because you're
doing a great job

and we want to hear more
about your day.

I have some housekeeping items
I got to take care of.

First, the Christmas tree for
rockefeller center is on its way.

It's the tallest one in the
history of new York city.

Taller than last year?
That's great.

What did I say?
These guys are great.

Thanks, Tommy, thanks.

What's the other item?

Due to budget, we're downsizing

the department of transportation
road crews by 8%.

Ok, back to you, Tommy.

You're firing people
right before Christmas?

Well, no, Tommy.

We're letting them go before
the end of the fiscal year.

And how many people
are you letting go?

Uh, well, we've been able
to limit it to about 150.

You know,
let's be honest, Mike.

There's not a lot of freelance
pothole work out there.

This is a bum deal
for these guys,

even if they do get
to keep the orange vests.

You didn't let me finish.

Ok? Uh...

They will be keeping
the orange vests.

150. You know, that is
a hell of a lot more

than how many people
are in this room.

How would you like to
tell these reporters

they don't have to
come in tomorrow?

Oh, Tommy, if I only
had the power.

how great was that, huh?

Home run, out of the park.

Those reporters are still
back there, scribbling away.

That was a real
game-winner.

You were right.
This is definitely not a fluff piece.

Oh, I'm real happy
for you, hon.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

Ok, yeah, just a second.

I want to do this
while I'm still on a High.

Hey, uh... Nikki? Um...

Listen, would you be interested

in having dinner
with me tonight?

Just like that?

No mind games?

No pre-date commitment-phobia speeches?
Nothing?

What kind of a guy is
afraid of commitment?

You know, Tommy, no one
in this room right now

is interested in doing
anything with you, ok?

You know, I sense
you're a little bit upset.

You have no idea what
you just did, do you?

Well, I told the truth.

Well, you get a gold star for that.

Mike, there's a bunch of angry
road workers downstairs.

If you don't meet with them,

they're threatening to, and I
quote, "start paving the lobby. "

So, are you going to
go talk with them?

Well, tom,
as a general rule of thumb,

I don't have
an open-door policy

with angry
ex-government workers,

especially ones
who drive steamrollers.

Well, who do you have an
open-door policy with, Mike?

The people who are paying for
your expense-account lunches?

What exactly is your
point, mayor Tommy?

Those guys lost their jobs today, ok?

All they want to do is talk.

And you want to know
the weird part?

It was fun for me.

Seriously, I got a big
spinning wheel in my office,

and whenever I get the urge to
fire some blue-collar workers,

I go in there,
I give that sucker a twirl.

I know that you have
tough decisions to make.

All right? But what you're doing
is affecting real people's lives,

and I think that they
deserve a little respect.

At least they deserve
someone who's going to,

you know,
look them in the eyes.

I saw that.

Oh! Ah!

All right, sir, you've
gone over the speech?

Yes, yes, yes.

We'll do this according to the
focus group recommendations.

And remember about
the people-friendly gestures.

The shrunken thumb,
the soft chop.

No, the soft chop goes
away from the torso.

Never toward.
Always away.

I got it, Paul.

As far as the height issue,

we've raised the podium

to give the illusion that
you're not quite so tall.

What are you-
Doug henning?

Anytime you're ready, sir.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it has been a trying time
for me lately

and for this administration,

but I truly believe that...

There are better days ahead.

I stand before you a new mayor,

new ideas,

lots of new stuff.

Oh, forget it.
Come on, this is...

Look, this is me, huh?

I'm still this tall.

Let me tell you something.

I'm making these budget cuts

because they need
to be made for the city.

If you don't like the way
I'm doing it,

just don't vote for me
next time.

Let's just forget
all these gimmicks, ok?

All right,
how about some questions?

Mr. Mayor, how do you
respond to accusations

that your administration is out of
touch with the needs of the people?

I speak for every member
of my administration

when I say that
we do not like to see

people losing their jobs
any more than you do,

but what really frustrates me,

is every person
sitting in this room

has been here long enough
to know that.

But still,
I guess you just need

a bad guy to sell
your newspapers.

That's all.

yeah, that's all right.
I'll... I'll handle it.

All right,
this isn't going to work.

Just wanted to come to say
good-bye and thank you.

Oh, not at all.

Oh, hey, great interview with Ashley.

See yourself on tv?

Oh, yeah, that was so cool.

You know, I never
been on tv before

when I wasn't doing this.

Well, as long as you had fun.

Oh, it was great, maybe
the best day of my life.

Well, you got to come
back and see us sometime.

You mean that?

No, not at all.
Just being polite.

I guess it will just have to
wait till next year, then.

I've already started outlining my essay.
It's a doozy.

Till then.

Oh, still around, fellas?

Tommy.

One for the road.

Ha ha!

Yeah, right.

That's enough,
Tommy. Come on.

Come on.
Bell's rung.

Go to class.

Ha ha ha!

There we go.

I'm going to
miss you, mr. Mayor.

Yeah, well, I'm going
to miss you, too.

You take good care of yourself.

Damn it, I can't
break this habit.

Good night, guys.

God, he's a tall one, isn't he?

Yeah. Yeah.

It's killing us.

Seeing as how I'm no
longer mayor for a day,

I imagine the shine
is off the apple for you.

I don't have half
the pull that I used to.

Imagine if we tried to go
back to that diner tonight.

We couldn't get the booth
near the jukebox

even if I phoned ahead.

You know what?

I don't care.

Let's go strap on a
couple of feed bags.

You know, you are
a very cool woman.

well, that was...

Wuhh!

sometimes it's contagious.

Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.

Moo.

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