All language subtitles for Spin City s01e05 The Rivals.eng

Whoa.
Wrong apartment.

No. I live here.

We're your neighbors.
I'm Maria.

I'm Yale. Apartment 2b.
Or not 2b.

That is the question.

Yeah, I get it.

That's-
that's funny.

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind

to suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune-

Ashley.

Hey, honey.
So you-you met.

We met, yeah.

Yeah, they live upstairs.

They're in 2b.
Yeah, I know.

Or not 2b.
That is the question.

I'll tell her later.
She'll laugh.

Yeah, so anyway, Yale and
Maria, they just stopped by

because they have these
couple extra tickets

to this documentary.

It's on the collapse of
the ecosystem in Brazil.

And I told them we
probably couldn't make it.

But they persisted
and persisted

and persisted
until I finally agreed

that it would be really
fun for the both of us,

so we're going.

I'm sorry.

I speak fluent portuguese,

so it will be like having
your own personal tour guide

right there along next to you.

Oh, Yale, Buddy, you don't
even have to sugarcoat it,

because the ecosystem

is, like, right up
there for me.

But I work for
the mayor's office,

and we are right in the
middle of a crisis.

What kind of crisis?

Crisis. Crisis.

Where'd I put that crisis?

Mike, garfield is
kicking our butt all over tv again.

Thought you might
be interested. See ya.

Well, alas, my hands are tied.

I must go,

so, uh, I'll just
take a rain check.

A rain check on the rain forest.
I made a funny.

Welcome.

This is so exciting.

It's my first...
Sunday emergency.

See you've paid your final dues

on your geek membership.

Everybody here yet?

Not yet.

Well, that's cool.

All right.
What's going on?

I have one day off.

I'd prefer not to
spend it at work.

Whoa. Heads up.

Nikki, is there something
you'd like to share with us?

He's my sister's.

I don't have time
for a life of my own,

so I borrow one on sundays.

You were playing basketball?

No. I was bowling.

I looked like an idiot.

What I meant was-

what you meant was you're
surprised I play basketball

because I'm a gay man,

but, you see, Stuart,
I'm also a Black man,

so it's really just a battle
between your archaic stereotypes.

Which one's winning?

Well, it looks like
everybody's here except pauly,

so no reason
we shouldn't start.

I am not just
the ex-mayor.

I am a new yorker, and I
care deeply about this city.

I wish I was confident that the
current mayor felt the same way.

He's been going on
like that for over an hour.

that's bad. Very bad.

Very, very, very, very bad.

We got to do something to quiet garfield down.
Anybody got any ideas?

Everyone has skeletons, Mike.

I could whip you up
a smear campaign.

Mmm-waaa.

I love that about you, Stuart.

We're going to take
the High road on this one.

Oh, don't pout.

What do you think, Nikki?
What do we know about this guy?

Huge ego. Totally
self-involved.

Likes to see
his name on things.

Ok. We'll just
give him something.

So that's your brand
of politics?

You're going to
buy his support?

Carter, in ancient rome,
they would call it an homage.

We'd give garfield a jug of
wine, a horse, a virgin.

Problem solved.

I can find him 2 out of 3
right here in this office.

Just got to slap
his name on something.

Nikki, that baby
got a name yet?

How about a garfield street?

Nah. Too expensive.

How about a lovable
orange cartoon cat?

You're not helping.

What about a fountain?

James, that's brilliant.

A fountain? You sure?

'Cause I can have pictures
of him with a hooker by 7:15.

A fountain it is. Meeting adjourned.
Let's get a beer.

Ah, get a beer.

Wait, wait,
wait, wait.

Where's everybody going?

Meeting's over, pauly.
You missed it.

No. I was on the throgs neck
bridge when I got your beep.

Over 20 miles.
I can't feel my thighs.

Anyone want to
hold little buckey?

I'm afraid I might drop him.

What'll happen with you guys

when you have your own kids?

I'm going to put
a handle on mine.

I'm looking forward
to being a father.

Really?

Sure. Find the right guy,
buy a house, settle down.

Ah, that'd be nice.

We're looking at 5 future
fathers of the year here.

Yeah, right. You guys
couldn't take care of a napkin.

What are you talking about?

Let's try an experiment.

I got 50 bucks against
10 from each of you

that you each can't take
one cocktail napkin,

bring it back to me
in 48 hours,

well-cared for,
nice and clean.

Give me that.

All right.

You got to name them,
so we know whose is whose.

I'm calling mine Sheldon.

Apparently Paul
wants his napkin

to get beat up a lot.

I'm naming mine Stuart.

What if it's a girl?

It's a napkin,
and its name is Stuart.

And last night,
it kicked Sheldon's ass.

Ok. Me and Tucker

have the next round.

5 beers.

Wow. Thought
I'd find you here.

Hey, Ashley.

How was the documentary?

I cannot believe you
bailed on me like that.

I got to tell you, it was an
incredibly difficult decision, honey,

but the ship was going down,

and I could only
save one of us.

Whatever happened to women
and children first?

Well, there comes a time
in every man's life

when he's got to slap on a dress
and jump in the lifeboat.

I just sat through 3 hours
of Black-and-white footage

of the rain forest
disappearing.

By the end,

I was actually rooting for the
rain forest to be gone faster.

They're not here now,
so the nightmare is over.

Uh, no, it's not.

See, they invited themselves
over for dinner tomorrow night.

You're killing me.

All right, look.
We can get through this.

It's just one night-

in, then we're out,
nobody gets hurt.

Ok.

Pick up.

Hey.

No! Stuart!

You're out!

He was so young.

I wonder why we're doing
this for him, Michael.

Garfield's been slamming
us pretty hard lately.

I know. We're just giving
him a fountain, sir.

I have such mixed emotions
about garfield.

He's such a man of the
people, larger than life.

It's not jealousy.

I just wish I had what he had.

You're the mayor now, sir,
and don't forget that.

Yeah. I know that.

But still, when he's around,

I can't help feeling
like I just disappear.

Good morning, Flaherty.

Where's that Boss of yours?

Abe.

Randall.

You better firm that baby up a bit.

Look, the reason that
we invited you down here-

Randall, open.

You keep that.

When you're out
with the people,

you need that minty breath.

Yeah, anyway, we're aware that you've
been voicing some concerns lately,

and, well, we thought
that we might...

Give me a fountain?
I know. I love it.

It's a good start.

Mr. Mayor.

Fong.

good to see you,
mr. Mayor.

It's just Abe now.
You know that.

Not to me.
You'll always be mayor to me.

Thank you, my friend.

He's good.

You're better, sir.

Amigo, �que pasa?

�como esta su novia carmela?

Oh, bien.
Gracias. Gracias.

De nada.
De nada.

Have a good one, jesus.

it's jesus. Jesus, sir.

6 months.

He could have said something.

And so it ends as it began,

with us cleaning
oil-soaked loons,

the littlest victims
of the exxon valdez.

Fascinating.
Fascinating stuff.

Can you believe the time?
It's already 9:15.

Talk about
burning the candle, huh?

You know, we have
a whole bag of tapes.

I'm just going to run
to the bathroom,

just splash some water
on my face.

So we'll just pop one in, then, huh?

Oh, yeah.
You go ahead, Yale.

Let's, uh...

Let's see if we can
actually make time stop.

Should we show the one
of our hunger strike

or the one where we chained
ourselves to the redwood trees?

Ooh, I don't know.

Mike?

You know, I'm not even comfortable

making that decision.

Why don't you go ahead?

You just pick whichever one...

Is, uh, shorter.

Honey, we've got to
get rid of them, ok?

You go out there.
You tell them I'm sick.

I'll stay in here,

and I'll make vomiting noises.

I don't think it'll work.

They probably have herbal
remedies with them.

I was actually with them
for the first couple of loons.

After that, I got it, you know.

They're oily, they're clean.

Have we not made it clear to
them that we want them to leave?

Are you kidding me?

I have done everything but
rifle through their pockets

looking for the 3 hours
of my life they stole.

All right. All right.

You know what?

We just got to
ride this thing out.

Ashley, I-I-I don't
want to alarm you...

So I'm not going to
overstate this.

These people
are out to destroy us.

I mean, look at them.

Look at them watching our
tv, eating our food,

drinking our water.

If we don't snuff this out,

we might as well
give them the keys

because it's not our
place, it's theirs.

I got it.

Oh, my God.
We're too late.

No, no, no.

We can do this...
Together.

I love you, Ashley.

I'll never leave your side.

All right. Here we go.

That was
your editor.

He said it was no big deal.

Call back whenever you want.

Oh, it sounds bad.
Got to go.

Oh, no.

So the actual fountain will look just
like this only much, much bigger.

Well, on the plus side,

when the dedication's over,

he can just take it
home with him.

Ladies and gentlemen.

It is my pleasure to introduce
the mayor of new York,

the honorable Randall Winston,

and the formerly honorable
Abe garfield...

Who was-
who was the mayor.

As mayor of this city,
it's my distinct pleasure

to officially pronounce this
the Abe garfield fountain.

Mayor Winston,
what did you wish?

Uh, to be reelected.
What else?

Uh, mayor garfield,
what was your wish?

That new York remain
the greatest city in the world,

that we set the standard
for culture and compassion,

for life and liberty,

not to mention the best
pastrami known to man.

Mike, can I have another Penny?

Thank you all.

Well, gentlemen, that was
quite a moving ceremony,

to see 2 great leaders of
this city come together-

did you really think you could
buy me off with this... birdbath?

That was the plan.
Yeah.

I've had Martinis
bigger than this.

This is an insult.

You of all people should know
how difficult this job is.

But no, no, no.
You play the critic.

You do
the talk-show circuit.

Well, you know what it does?

It just proves to me
that you're nothing

but a vain, petty,
self-centered, egomaniacal...

Why are you lying down?

Somebody get
an ambulance!

It's so weird to see
the flag at half-mast.

I can't believe he's gone.

Sir, we should probably work
up some sort of statement.

I killed him, Mike.
I killed him dead.

Well, that's
a good starting point.

I think we should probably
soften it a little.

The other day,

I watched Abe
walk these hallways,

patting strangers on the back,

speaking flawless cantonese,

and you know what I wished?

I wished that he were gone,

I wished that he weren't here.

It's not quite the same
as wishing he were dead.

I wished that, too.

Oh, boy.

You know, he gave me this...

And a little sage advice.

Garfield was an older man.

He had a history
of heart problems.

No, no, Mike.
My words cut him down,

and the guilt is so heavy.

I need to atone.
I just need to tell the world.

All right, I know
you're hurting, sir.

What you want to do
is you want to take

all that hurt and all that pain

and all that confusion
and overwhelming feelings

and you want to just...
Bottle them right up.

Morning, sir.

Yes, I am, son.

The whole city is.

I'm sorry.

Ok.

How's he doing, Mike?

He blames himself.

Why, just because he yelled at the
old guy till he dropped dead?

Let me make this perfectly
clear for everybody.

What happened between the mayor
and garfield was not an argument.

It was merely
an animated discussion

that quite suddenly...

Became unanimated.

They had a vigil
at the fountain last night.

Hundreds showed up.

Of course, only 5 people could
fit around it at one time.

They had the vigil in shifts.

I think they're still going.

This is a tough time.

A beloved man has passed
on to his great reward,

and people are going
to be a little upset.

Garfield esta muerto!

�por que?

�por que?

Sheesh!

Let me just say that
Abe garfield was a good man

and a good mayor,

and for this,
he will be missed.

He was a good friend.
We knew him well.

So today, our love
goes out to his wife,

our thoughts and prayers,
to his children.

Garfield didn't have
any children.

Then the thoughts and prayers
go to the wife, too.

Will there be some kind of
memorial service for garfield?

Yes, yes.

The ex-mayor will be honored and remembered
for his years of public service.

Will mayor Winston deliver
a eulogy at the memorial?

Yes and no.

Let me just clarify that.

Yes, the mayor
will be speaking,

but then again,
maybe he won't. Who knows?

Right now, the only thing
that we can say

is that ex-mayor garfield
is in fact still dead.

Think they heard us?

Take off your shoes.

Yeah. Good idea.

Oh, and while we're at it,

why don't you
take off your clothes?

What?

I'd take off mine

except that we're prisoners
in our own home.

Can you please try to focus
on the issue at hand here?

Hey, I'm not
the one who invited

these 2 circus freaks
into our life.

You're saying it's my fault?

Yeah, I'm definitely
saying that.

You're going to Wash your
hands of the situation?

You know, I'd love to, but Yale's
probably in the damn bathroom!

Shh!

We have to reclaim our lives.

Ok.

Listen, I have some friends...

With the police department.

I can have them arrested
on trumped-up drug charges.

It's too big.

Yeah. I think one of us
just needs to talk to them.

They'd probably
only do 5, 10 years.

You're right. You're right.
You're right. I'll talk to them.

I mean, we're adults.

We shouldn't have to be
afraid of these people.

Mike? Ashley?
Hello.

Don't move.

Come on.
We saw you from the street.

what happened to James' speech?

Oh, uh, yeah.

I had James make
one or 2 changes

just for stylistic purposes.

Well, what happened to the part
about the blood on my hands?

Sir, you can't
go up to that podium

and say that you killed
Abe garfield.

I mean, I might be wrong,

but that could
hurt us in the polls.

This isn't about
politics, Mike.

This is about
taking responsibility.

Ahh...

It's about being a man.

Oh!

Ow. That hurt.

Oh.

Abe garfield
was a good man.

I must admit-

no. I must confess that...

I'm sorry.
I can't go on.

You ok, Paul?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm just proud to
be working for a man

who's not afraid to show
his feelings to the world.

It will be ok, Paul.

You just need...

You just need to
give me 10 bucks.

What?

Your baby napkin.

Oh, sugar.

Well, Tucker
went through the Wash.

Here's my 10 bucks.

We'll divert the rest
of his college fund

towards another round
of drinks.

Where's yours, James?

Oh, my God, where's my baby?

Where's my baby?
I had the baby at the office.

I brought the baby to the bar.

I put the baby on the table.

Stuart asked me
if he could see the baby.

10 bucks.

I believe you have something
that belongs to me.

Mmm.

Mm-hmm.

Carter, you've heard
it a thousand times.

All the good ones are
either married or...

I know. I know.

I made such a fool
out of myself.

No, sir. You thoroughly
honored garfield's memory.

I was moved.

Everybody in the whole
park was moved.

I mean, you cried, sir.

That wasn't me, Mike.

That was the binaca talking.

Garfield's.

You know, strange, isn't it?

How could I have
missed my mouth?

Happens to a lot of people.

You know, the little
nozzle gets bent.

But how incredible
was that timing?

Pretty damn good.

There I was,
about to confess-

to something that
wasn't your fault.

This canister stopped me.

Do you believe in signs?

Depends.

I think that garfield
saved me from myself.

Then yes, I definitely
do believe in signs.

We owe him one.

Mmm.

Open up, Abe.

Oh, my God.

This is the hunger strike.

You know something, though?

I'm really starting
to enjoy this.

Shh. This is
my favorite part.

Oh...

Oh...

I'm so hungry.

Oh, Yale, that's great.

Popcorn?

Sit, ubu, sit
good dog.

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