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1
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I'm 17 today!
2
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The game is on Freddy.
You wanna play?
3
00:00:06,102 --> 00:00:07,602
I met a girl I like today.
4
00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:09,359
Don't be stupid.
Girls like stupid.
5
00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:10,959
Ain't you worked that out?
6
00:00:11,060 --> 00:00:14,099
How about it then, Peachy?
Looks like it's just me and you.
7
00:00:14,199 --> 00:00:16,579
Great. It's the lesbian come to gay us up.
8
00:00:16,679 --> 00:00:18,859
I'm Pandora, I'm useless.
9
00:00:18,959 --> 00:00:21,379
You tried to ruin my lovely party.
10
00:00:21,477 --> 00:00:24,830
And now really, really bad things are going to happen.
11
00:00:25,875 --> 00:00:28,015
Why does your sister think I'm gay?
12
00:00:28,114 --> 00:00:29,136
Need to speak to you.
13
00:00:29,239 --> 00:00:32,816
Shut up about my family.
You don't know me so shut the fuck up!
14
00:00:32,919 --> 00:00:34,533
You're not taking me with you.
15
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:38,472
The next time I see you, you're dead.
16
00:01:27,316 --> 00:01:28,392
Hello.
17
00:01:29,475 --> 00:01:32,310
I'm Thomas.
So glad to meet you.
18
00:02:59,398 --> 00:03:01,333
Hello.
19
00:03:01,436 --> 00:03:03,852
I'm Thomas.
20
00:03:03,955 --> 00:03:05,093
So glad to meet you.
21
00:03:05,195 --> 00:03:07,212
Hello.
22
00:03:07,316 --> 00:03:10,331
Wayne. Come here! Come here!
23
00:03:10,435 --> 00:03:12,790
Don't talk to him.
For fuck's sake.
24
00:04:04,918 --> 00:04:05,870
Allo?
25
00:04:07,638 --> 00:04:08,593
Maman?
26
00:04:12,517 --> 00:04:14,052
Merde!
27
00:04:14,156 --> 00:04:17,132
I bought this card for 120 minutes.
28
00:04:17,237 --> 00:04:20,571
I speak for two minutes.
Nothing left.
29
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,093
You want to buy another card?
30
00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:23,131
No, no, no, no.
31
00:04:23,237 --> 00:04:25,131
My mother, she'll be very upset.
32
00:04:25,238 --> 00:04:27,552
It's five pounds.
33
00:04:31,557 --> 00:04:33,552
Five pounds.
34
00:04:35,198 --> 00:04:36,653
Oi!
35
00:04:36,755 --> 00:04:39,433
Oi, what you doing? Come here.
36
00:04:40,676 --> 00:04:42,573
I told you kids what I'd do last time!
37
00:04:42,675 --> 00:04:44,753
Fucking kick him, Aaron!
38
00:04:46,755 --> 00:04:47,970
Kick him harder!
39
00:04:48,077 --> 00:04:49,030
Paki cunt!
40
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:58,232
Cunt is a very bad word. Very bad.
Even in England, I think. Yes?
41
00:05:00,958 --> 00:05:03,970
What is this "Paki" that they call you?
Is that bad?
42
00:05:04,077 --> 00:05:06,533
I'm from Delhi.
43
00:05:06,635 --> 00:05:08,451
And I hate Pakis.
44
00:05:08,557 --> 00:05:10,212
So, you see?
45
00:05:10,317 --> 00:05:12,090
Disrespectful.
46
00:05:12,198 --> 00:05:13,631
Now, go and play. Go!
47
00:05:35,878 --> 00:05:39,250
Mmmm. Oh!
48
00:05:39,356 --> 00:05:41,350
Mmmm. Ah!
49
00:06:14,037 --> 00:06:17,390
Wow! You've got a wacker lot of doughnuts.
50
00:06:18,876 --> 00:06:20,031
Yes.
51
00:06:21,078 --> 00:06:22,013
Of course,
52
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:23,052
I have too many.
53
00:06:23,158 --> 00:06:24,752
Crazy. Ta.
54
00:06:26,358 --> 00:06:27,353
No, thanks.
55
00:06:28,396 --> 00:06:30,373
Effy doesn't do doughnuts.
56
00:06:30,476 --> 00:06:32,930
I see. So, what does she do?
57
00:06:33,035 --> 00:06:36,192
Drugs. We've just been to buy some skunky, haven't we, Eff?
58
00:06:46,558 --> 00:06:49,173
I can do six of these no problem,
59
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,870
except Mum hides them behind the fridge-freezer.
60
00:06:53,516 --> 00:06:55,973
Wow! This is blimmin' amazing!
61
00:06:56,075 --> 00:06:57,691
But I need juicing.
62
00:06:57,795 --> 00:06:58,893
You need juicing?
63
00:06:58,997 --> 00:07:01,453
Yeah. Chuck us the Irn-Bru, would you, Eff?
64
00:07:01,557 --> 00:07:03,371
Barry!
65
00:07:03,476 --> 00:07:05,370
What are you talking about?
66
00:07:05,478 --> 00:07:08,211
Uncle Jock always says "Barry" when he drinks Irn-Bru.
67
00:07:08,315 --> 00:07:11,591
I don't know why, mum says it's because he's Scottish and mad.
68
00:07:14,635 --> 00:07:18,770
Hello. My name is Thomas.
I'm so glad to meet you.
69
00:07:18,878 --> 00:07:20,810
Effy. So glad to meet you.
70
00:07:20,917 --> 00:07:22,891
I came yesterday, from Africa.
71
00:07:22,996 --> 00:07:24,873
This place is exceedingly cold.
72
00:07:26,556 --> 00:07:27,752
Bummer.
73
00:07:31,835 --> 00:07:32,793
Oh.
74
00:07:33,838 --> 00:07:34,791
Hell's bells.
75
00:07:39,517 --> 00:07:41,813
"To the kids in the classroom
76
00:07:41,918 --> 00:07:45,532
Can't you wait until... when they gang up and get at you
77
00:07:45,635 --> 00:07:48,971
You wanna be so cool but you know you'll never make it
78
00:07:49,076 --> 00:07:52,772
You think you've got soul but I know you have to fake it
79
00:07:52,876 --> 00:07:56,091
You're gonna be a pillowcase splitter
80
00:07:56,195 --> 00:07:59,111
Break it out Break your pillow every night..."
81
00:08:02,477 --> 00:08:03,423
This way.
82
00:08:04,385 --> 00:08:05,542
Incroyable.
83
00:08:06,626 --> 00:08:07,760
Sorry?
84
00:08:07,865 --> 00:08:10,221
Your house. It's incredible.
85
00:08:13,186 --> 00:08:14,923
Thanks.
86
00:08:15,025 --> 00:08:16,862
Come on.
Bring the dozy cow up here.
87
00:08:25,265 --> 00:08:27,822
I think maybe these doughnuts is not good for you.
88
00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:30,623
Yeah, that must be it.
89
00:08:34,905 --> 00:08:36,181
Mum?
90
00:08:43,425 --> 00:08:44,363
Mum?
91
00:08:44,466 --> 00:08:45,400
Shit!
92
00:08:45,508 --> 00:08:48,523
Where's my...
93
00:08:48,627 --> 00:08:49,682
Oh, for fuck's sake.
94
00:08:49,788 --> 00:08:51,322
Jesus Christ!
95
00:08:51,426 --> 00:08:52,583
Put your trousers on.
96
00:08:55,308 --> 00:08:57,660
Effy. What are you, er, doing here?
97
00:09:00,187 --> 00:09:02,120
Pandora puked.
98
00:09:02,228 --> 00:09:03,603
You know Steve, don't you?
99
00:09:03,706 --> 00:09:04,760
Hi.
100
00:09:04,866 --> 00:09:09,601
He's been helping me with my, erm, my project.
101
00:09:09,705 --> 00:09:12,403
Right, yeah.
It's really interesting, isn't it?
102
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:13,462
Yeah.
103
00:09:14,865 --> 00:09:17,083
Hello. My name is Thomas.
104
00:09:17,186 --> 00:09:19,502
So glad to meet you. Hi.
105
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,622
Good evening.
106
00:10:29,828 --> 00:10:32,441
Shouldn't sneak up on me, should he?
107
00:10:32,545 --> 00:10:34,240
Hmm? No? Yeah?
108
00:10:34,346 --> 00:10:35,442
Yeah. Yeah. No.
109
00:10:35,545 --> 00:10:36,162
Yeah?
110
00:10:36,266 --> 00:10:36,961
No, John.
111
00:10:37,065 --> 00:10:38,002
Should he?
112
00:10:38,108 --> 00:10:39,863
Bring the fucker.
113
00:10:41,587 --> 00:10:42,981
Right, up you get, my lover.
114
00:10:49,586 --> 00:10:50,922
In here!
115
00:10:51,028 --> 00:10:53,641
Bring him in the flat, you twats.
116
00:10:53,747 --> 00:10:56,902
Oh, right. Sorry, mate, Johnny.
Got the wrong end of the stick.
117
00:10:57,006 --> 00:10:59,252
Yeah, he wants to torture him inside, don't he?
118
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:00,880
Inside, like.
119
00:11:00,988 --> 00:11:02,122
Yeah, inside
120
00:11:02,227 --> 00:11:03,941
Put the kettle on please, lads.
121
00:11:34,016 --> 00:11:36,912
It's taking a long time there, boss.
122
00:11:37,015 --> 00:11:38,453
Yeah.
123
00:11:40,178 --> 00:11:42,633
I keep saying, like.
124
00:11:42,737 --> 00:11:44,291
Probably shouldn't watch it.
125
00:11:45,897 --> 00:11:47,330
You know?
126
00:11:49,096 --> 00:11:50,751
Right.
127
00:11:50,855 --> 00:11:52,813
Lets get started, shall we?
128
00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:56,553
Hello.
129
00:11:56,657 --> 00:11:58,432
Who's you?
130
00:11:58,536 --> 00:11:59,350
T-T... Thomas.
131
00:11:59,456 --> 00:12:02,971
T-T... Thomas? You're in my flat.
132
00:12:04,615 --> 00:12:06,872
I thought it was empty.
133
00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:08,473
No-one wants to live here.
134
00:12:08,575 --> 00:12:10,991
That's true.
I wouldn't live here.
135
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:14,071
I'd have to be a dirty arsehole.
136
00:12:14,178 --> 00:12:15,153
Right?
137
00:12:15,257 --> 00:12:17,572
Yeah. You'd be a right dirty arsehole.
138
00:12:18,658 --> 00:12:20,292
You wouldn't be a dirty arsehole.
139
00:12:21,178 --> 00:12:22,412
Passport.
140
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:26,113
Not you, Bennie!
141
00:12:26,217 --> 00:12:28,093
You.
142
00:12:36,417 --> 00:12:37,950
Fair enough.
143
00:12:38,055 --> 00:12:40,955
Business or pleasure?
144
00:12:41,054 --> 00:12:43,116
Sorry?
145
00:12:43,219 --> 00:12:46,076
Are you here
146
00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:49,130
for business or pleasure?
147
00:12:54,417 --> 00:12:56,192
Business
148
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,050
Correct answer!
149
00:13:01,055 --> 00:13:02,692
Kettle's boiled, Johnny.
150
00:13:05,735 --> 00:13:07,613
Now we're ready, Thomas.
151
00:13:09,378 --> 00:13:11,592
Lucas. Load a Pot.
152
00:13:11,695 --> 00:13:13,851
Coming up, Johnny.
153
00:13:22,935 --> 00:13:25,052
This whole estate is mine.
154
00:13:26,698 --> 00:13:28,830
People like you, Thomas,
155
00:13:28,935 --> 00:13:31,430
you gotta pay to use it, see?
156
00:13:31,535 --> 00:13:33,073
You wanna watch that there, Johnny.
157
00:13:33,207 --> 00:13:35,273
That's fucking hot, mate.
158
00:13:35,375 --> 00:13:36,551
You sauced it?
159
00:13:36,656 --> 00:13:39,391
Shit, yeah. It's fully charged.
160
00:13:39,497 --> 00:13:42,452
I want you to see what kind of man you're dealing with, Thomas.
161
00:14:02,055 --> 00:14:03,151
That is...
162
00:14:03,258 --> 00:14:04,213
pure evil!
163
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:15,471
I want £300 deposit by Desperate Housewives on Thursday.
164
00:14:15,578 --> 00:14:19,672
And don't bother trying to move flat, cos they're all mine.
165
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:24,151
And that'll be £400 by X Factor.
We wouldn't want that, would we?
166
00:14:24,258 --> 00:14:25,150
No.
167
00:14:25,256 --> 00:14:28,192
No.
168
00:14:28,296 --> 00:14:29,792
Say goodnight to Thomas, boys.
169
00:14:29,896 --> 00:14:30,832
See ya, cocker.
170
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:32,870
Cheers, Thommo. All the best.
171
00:14:32,977 --> 00:14:35,153
Be lucky.
172
00:14:35,255 --> 00:14:36,540
He seemed like a nice lad to me.
173
00:14:36,645 --> 00:14:38,210
Yeah, but John's gonna fuck him.
174
00:14:38,315 --> 00:14:40,572
Oh, yeah. He is.
175
00:14:45,737 --> 00:14:49,190
Dear Mama, little brother and sister.
176
00:14:49,297 --> 00:14:53,351
I may be a long way from home, but you are so close to my thoughts.
177
00:14:53,456 --> 00:14:55,593
I am sending you this message
178
00:14:55,698 --> 00:14:58,431
because you must practice your English before you come.
179
00:14:58,538 --> 00:15:01,152
Here, the sun shines just like at home
180
00:15:01,258 --> 00:15:03,493
and there are many wonderful people.
181
00:15:24,896 --> 00:15:29,232
"Bebe nani a beti yo
182
00:15:29,338 --> 00:15:34,113
Loba na nga nako zongisa
183
00:15:34,218 --> 00:15:38,430
Tango mousousou o toutanaki na mire a ndakou
184
00:15:38,535 --> 00:15:42,430
Bebe nani a beti yo
185
00:15:42,538 --> 00:15:45,110
Loba na nga
186
00:15:45,217 --> 00:15:47,190
Nako zongisa
187
00:15:47,298 --> 00:15:51,693
Tango mousousou o toutanaki na mire a ndakou..."
188
00:15:57,558 --> 00:15:58,532
Where you going?
189
00:15:58,635 --> 00:15:59,613
I need work.
190
00:15:59,716 --> 00:16:02,073
Fuck off, mister.
This isn't your work.
191
00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:09,451
Boy, they will beat you.
You want them to beat you?
192
00:16:09,555 --> 00:16:12,230
No. But I must have money.
193
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:17,972
They take anyone.
194
00:16:18,076 --> 00:16:18,773
Oi!
195
00:16:20,576 --> 00:16:22,072
No documents.
You forgot them, OK?
196
00:16:22,177 --> 00:16:23,331
OK.
197
00:16:23,437 --> 00:16:25,532
Now fuck off.
Before we beat you, huh?
198
00:16:25,635 --> 00:16:27,071
Thank you, Sir.
199
00:16:46,755 --> 00:16:48,952
This is a very cold country.
200
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:54,451
Did you bring your visa and work permit?
201
00:16:54,557 --> 00:16:56,690
I'm very sorry. I forgot them.
202
00:16:56,797 --> 00:16:58,133
Special skills?
203
00:16:58,238 --> 00:17:00,450
I play all music.
204
00:17:00,557 --> 00:17:02,452
I run very, very fast.
Like a dog.
205
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:05,130
Also, I am mathematical.
I will solve any equation.
206
00:17:05,237 --> 00:17:07,051
None. Qualifications?
207
00:17:07,155 --> 00:17:08,771
Top of my class at school.
208
00:17:08,878 --> 00:17:10,692
All A's.
The village was very proud.
209
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:12,371
Where?
210
00:17:12,477 --> 00:17:13,651
In Congo.
211
00:17:13,755 --> 00:17:15,110
None. Work experience?
212
00:17:15,218 --> 00:17:17,513
Every day I fetch the goats.
I milk them and...
213
00:17:17,616 --> 00:17:18,730
Goats?
214
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,650
In my village, before sunrise.
215
00:17:20,757 --> 00:17:24,812
I milk the goats, I collect the dung since I was four years old.
216
00:17:24,917 --> 00:17:27,193
None.
217
00:17:28,595 --> 00:17:31,650
This job will get me £300, yes?
218
00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:34,372
My mother is coming you see and she's a very fussy lady.
219
00:17:34,478 --> 00:17:36,672
Yeah.
220
00:17:41,716 --> 00:17:43,830
And you can start tomorrow.
221
00:17:45,038 --> 00:17:46,633
What must I do?
222
00:17:57,718 --> 00:17:59,712
Excellent machine.
223
00:18:19,475 --> 00:18:21,932
Effy! Effy!
224
00:18:22,035 --> 00:18:23,551
Effy! Excuse me!
225
00:18:25,158 --> 00:18:26,531
Effy, hi! Look.
226
00:18:26,636 --> 00:18:28,393
I got a new top.
It's cool, isn't it?
227
00:18:28,496 --> 00:18:31,233
When you've got tits like mine, you've gotta flash 'em haven't you?
228
00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:32,211
Sorry?
229
00:18:32,316 --> 00:18:35,612
Breasts, girl.
You should try it.
230
00:18:35,715 --> 00:18:37,853
I never try.
231
00:18:37,956 --> 00:18:39,772
Huh?
232
00:18:39,876 --> 00:18:42,332
Stop fucking following me, will you!
233
00:18:42,435 --> 00:18:43,870
I wasn't, I was...
234
00:18:45,796 --> 00:18:47,291
A strange place, this college.
235
00:18:47,398 --> 00:18:48,092
Sorry?
236
00:18:48,195 --> 00:18:51,293
Everyone is loud and they care about nothing.
237
00:18:51,396 --> 00:18:53,092
Yeah. You're right.
238
00:18:53,197 --> 00:18:55,892
You are the same as your sister.
239
00:18:55,997 --> 00:18:57,172
I'm not the same as her.
240
00:18:57,276 --> 00:18:59,491
No?
241
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,310
Maybe you're a little more pretty.
242
00:19:02,918 --> 00:19:04,390
Cheeky.
243
00:19:07,118 --> 00:19:08,793
Most satisfactory.
244
00:19:18,638 --> 00:19:22,450
Come on.
Pick your positions, everyone.
245
00:19:22,556 --> 00:19:23,750
Now, feel the rhythm.
246
00:19:25,877 --> 00:19:28,532
Pandora! Take this seriously!
247
00:19:28,638 --> 00:19:31,570
That's right. Now swaying.
248
00:19:31,676 --> 00:19:33,370
Growl. You're African.
249
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,451
Come on!
250
00:19:35,557 --> 00:19:39,643
OK. You're stalking, leopards.
251
00:19:39,748 --> 00:19:42,900
Come on, Colin.
You're camouflaged. Get some bush!
252
00:19:44,905 --> 00:19:47,200
And stalking.
Stalking your prey!
253
00:19:47,307 --> 00:19:51,740
And it's building, building. Marimba!
254
00:19:53,867 --> 00:19:59,320
Great! Great, gazelles. Feel the sun beating down on your haunches.
255
00:19:59,425 --> 00:20:02,042
Stretch, stretch.
256
00:20:02,148 --> 00:20:03,500
And cue vultures!
257
00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:06,702
Circling, circling...
258
00:20:08,905 --> 00:20:11,101
And pounce!
259
00:20:27,788 --> 00:20:28,742
And finish!
260
00:20:30,546 --> 00:20:31,562
Finish, Pandora!
261
00:20:31,668 --> 00:20:33,720
Nkosi Sikelel!
262
00:20:33,826 --> 00:20:39,863
Nkosi Silelel!
263
00:20:43,028 --> 00:20:45,562
What do you think?
264
00:20:45,665 --> 00:20:48,123
Well... that's just smashing, Samantha.
265
00:20:48,226 --> 00:20:52,483
Well done, everyone!
I can absolutely smell the Savannah.
266
00:20:52,588 --> 00:20:55,383
This is going to blow the Ofsted inspectors away.
267
00:20:57,267 --> 00:20:59,641
Right! OK, everyone.
268
00:20:59,745 --> 00:21:01,981
Thank you. Thank you all.
A triumph!
269
00:21:05,665 --> 00:21:09,803
They've got a real sense of rhythm, haven't they? Thrilling.
270
00:21:09,906 --> 00:21:13,482
In fact, er...
I was wondering, well
271
00:21:13,585 --> 00:21:15,841
have you seen Out Of Africa?
272
00:21:15,945 --> 00:21:16,880
No.
273
00:21:16,987 --> 00:21:19,801
I have it on DVD.
Similar themes.
274
00:21:19,905 --> 00:21:23,882
Maybe I could come over sometime and wang my disc in your box?
275
00:21:23,988 --> 00:21:26,702
Oh, yeah! Possibly.
276
00:21:49,707 --> 00:21:51,141
Hello, friend.
277
00:22:45,068 --> 00:22:47,802
Hi. I forgot my tail.
278
00:22:47,905 --> 00:22:49,341
Oh.
279
00:22:51,306 --> 00:22:53,882
Blooming heck, you've got fast fingers.
280
00:22:53,986 --> 00:22:56,540
You can pluck super quick.
That's gotta be handy.
281
00:23:00,385 --> 00:23:02,501
Thomas?
282
00:23:03,385 --> 00:23:04,940
Why are you crying?
283
00:23:10,006 --> 00:23:13,022
Wow! England is beautiful.
Everything is green.
284
00:23:13,125 --> 00:23:15,543
Wicked green, cos it pisses down most days.
285
00:23:15,648 --> 00:23:18,443
Anyway, Effy told me you carried me back, stripped me naked,
286
00:23:18,546 --> 00:23:19,881
and laid me tenderly
in your bed.
287
00:23:19,987 --> 00:23:22,141
Excuse me? I didn't... What?
288
00:23:22,247 --> 00:23:24,502
You must be wondrously strong to carry me.
289
00:23:24,608 --> 00:23:26,421
I've carried heavier goats.
290
00:23:26,526 --> 00:23:27,422
You're funny!
291
00:23:27,527 --> 00:23:28,503
Am I?
292
00:23:28,608 --> 00:23:33,643
Yeah. And you like all the same things as me. Dancing, doughnuts...
293
00:23:38,207 --> 00:23:40,620
Excuse me. I'm a little hungry.
294
00:23:40,728 --> 00:23:43,342
That's why we're going to see Auntie Elizabeth.
295
00:23:43,447 --> 00:23:44,861
She makes ripper scones.
296
00:23:44,968 --> 00:23:45,980
Scones?
297
00:23:46,087 --> 00:23:47,880
Yup. And the best tea ever.
298
00:23:52,206 --> 00:23:54,580
My God!
How many people live here?
299
00:23:54,686 --> 00:23:57,621
One. But Auntie Lizzie has a wicked load of stuff.
300
00:23:57,727 --> 00:24:01,740
Now then, we're ready to hear all about you.
301
00:24:01,847 --> 00:24:04,061
Thanks, Lizziepoo.
302
00:24:04,168 --> 00:24:09,060
Well, my family is from Ouesso District, Sangha, in Congo.
303
00:24:09,168 --> 00:24:11,100
Our village is very poor.
304
00:24:11,208 --> 00:24:12,622
I miss them so much.
305
00:24:12,726 --> 00:24:15,420
My mother will come next week with my brother and sister,
306
00:24:15,525 --> 00:24:16,800
and we'll live here, together.
307
00:24:16,908 --> 00:24:19,943
Oh, how very exciting!
308
00:24:20,045 --> 00:24:22,461
You must bring them round.
309
00:24:22,565 --> 00:24:24,023
Do have a scone.
310
00:24:24,128 --> 00:24:25,622
Thank you.
311
00:24:25,728 --> 00:24:29,623
Oh, no! Tea first.
Scones always taste better after tea.
312
00:24:29,726 --> 00:24:31,540
Auntie grows it herself.
313
00:24:31,648 --> 00:24:32,580
Mmm.
314
00:24:32,686 --> 00:24:33,862
Mmm.
315
00:24:33,968 --> 00:24:34,921
Mmm.
316
00:24:36,527 --> 00:24:39,462
Makes my lips tingle and everything.
317
00:24:39,568 --> 00:24:41,760
That's wonderful. Mmm!
318
00:24:44,206 --> 00:24:45,643
Heaven.
319
00:24:47,368 --> 00:24:48,983
Oooh!
320
00:24:49,085 --> 00:24:51,102
It's interesting.
321
00:24:51,205 --> 00:24:54,223
I'd be very pleased to see how it is grown.
322
00:24:54,327 --> 00:24:56,901
Of course, my dear boy. Yes.
323
00:24:57,008 --> 00:25:01,162
Just as soon as we've all got well and truly sconed.
324
00:25:05,487 --> 00:25:08,582
So I had this lodger, Darnell.
325
00:25:08,686 --> 00:25:13,101
He's a charming chap from Kingston, Jamaica. Most entertaining.
326
00:25:13,208 --> 00:25:16,700
Anyway, he needed somewhere to keep his tea plants.
327
00:25:16,808 --> 00:25:18,503
Pay attention, dear.
328
00:25:18,606 --> 00:25:21,741
So, Darnell, it was an awful business, poor chap.
329
00:25:21,848 --> 00:25:25,021
He fell out with his brothers
330
00:25:25,125 --> 00:25:29,702
and they were so cross he had to go back to Jamaica rather quickly.
331
00:25:29,808 --> 00:25:32,682
Blimey. They don't half grow.
332
00:25:34,486 --> 00:25:37,101
So, this is where
we dry it out.
333
00:25:37,206 --> 00:25:42,620
It's terribly easy. But, flipping 'eck, it's coming out of my ears.
334
00:25:42,725 --> 00:25:46,861
It's lucky that it goes so well with cake!
335
00:25:46,967 --> 00:25:49,420
Maybe I could sell some.
336
00:25:49,525 --> 00:25:52,141
I think people would like it very much.
337
00:25:52,245 --> 00:25:54,462
What an enterprising chap!
338
00:25:54,568 --> 00:25:57,103
You know, you could do worse, Panda.
339
00:25:57,208 --> 00:25:59,860
You could do a lot worse!
340
00:25:59,965 --> 00:26:02,401
You get me, blood?
341
00:26:10,485 --> 00:26:14,223
You don't have much furniture in here, do you, Thomas?
342
00:26:14,325 --> 00:26:17,022
I must buy some before my mother comes.
343
00:26:17,126 --> 00:26:22,742
She is a powerful lady, most powerful.
Especially on the backhand.
344
00:26:22,847 --> 00:26:26,020
You're gonna have to sell a
shoe-load of tea to buy a sofa,
345
00:26:26,125 --> 00:26:30,223
even if it's a once in a lifetime, rock bottom offer at World of Leather.
346
00:26:30,327 --> 00:26:33,902
There's hardly enough for three or four cups in those bags.
347
00:26:34,005 --> 00:26:36,982
Pandora, this isn't just what you think it is.
348
00:26:37,085 --> 00:26:40,642
Well, what in the bollocking name of buggery is it?
349
00:26:54,048 --> 00:26:57,500
That's smoking a lot better than Mum's Earl Grey!
350
00:26:57,606 --> 00:27:00,403
Yes. And rather more expensive.
351
00:27:05,366 --> 00:27:06,801
You're amazing.
352
00:27:20,046 --> 00:27:21,780
Wow.
353
00:27:21,885 --> 00:27:23,821
Now I get it.
354
00:27:23,926 --> 00:27:25,580
Cripes.
355
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:26,983
That was kissing.
356
00:27:27,085 --> 00:27:31,042
No, Pandora. This is kissing.
357
00:27:31,447 --> 00:27:35,742
So Dave tells Steve exactly how it is.
Doesn't pull his punches.
358
00:27:35,847 --> 00:27:41,620
He said, "Let's take this outside, you tosser!" Just like that!
359
00:27:41,726 --> 00:27:45,821
Fucking hell, Steve. That's the Managing Director, for fuck's sake!
360
00:27:45,928 --> 00:27:49,942
Great guy. Stupid, but great.
You liked him, didn't you love?
361
00:27:50,046 --> 00:27:52,581
Yeah, you know.
He's ok. Anyway, look,
362
00:27:52,686 --> 00:27:54,963
a funny thing happened to me in the supermarket today...
363
00:27:55,067 --> 00:27:58,302
Me and Steve have a lot in common.
We share the same tastes.
364
00:27:58,407 --> 00:28:01,502
He was surprisingly complimentary about you, love.
365
00:28:01,608 --> 00:28:02,303
Right.
366
00:28:03,508 --> 00:28:04,523
That'll be him now.
367
00:28:04,627 --> 00:28:05,501
What?
368
00:28:05,606 --> 00:28:09,300
I invited Steve over for a drink.
369
00:28:09,407 --> 00:28:11,083
I made a friend!
370
00:28:15,648 --> 00:28:17,103
Fucking coming!
371
00:28:17,208 --> 00:28:19,942
It's more complicated than you think.
372
00:28:20,045 --> 00:28:23,462
Doesn't seem complicated.
You're fucking my dad's line manager.
373
00:28:23,567 --> 00:28:24,261
No biggie.
374
00:28:24,367 --> 00:28:27,382
Give me a chance to sort it out.
Please, Effy...
375
00:28:27,486 --> 00:28:28,522
Well, it's not Steve.
376
00:28:28,627 --> 00:28:30,681
But look who it is!
What's your name again?
377
00:28:30,786 --> 00:28:31,623
Pandora.
378
00:28:31,727 --> 00:28:32,743
Ridiculous!
379
00:28:32,848 --> 00:28:34,900
Hi, Effy. Hi, Anthea. Hi, Jim.
380
00:28:35,008 --> 00:28:37,303
This is Thomas. Guess what?
381
00:28:37,408 --> 00:28:38,940
We've been snogging!
382
00:28:39,047 --> 00:28:40,262
Never.
383
00:28:40,368 --> 00:28:42,243
Yeah! And we need some advice.
384
00:28:45,966 --> 00:28:47,100
Oh?
385
00:28:47,206 --> 00:28:49,780
Yeah. We've got a shitload of weed!
386
00:28:49,886 --> 00:28:52,882
Right. Let's take this upstairs, shall we?
387
00:28:54,568 --> 00:28:58,463
Eff. I've been doing it with tongues.
Come on, Thomas.
388
00:28:58,565 --> 00:29:00,462
So glad to meet you again.
389
00:29:00,568 --> 00:29:03,222
You look different with your clothes on.
390
00:29:03,325 --> 00:29:04,423
What?
391
00:29:04,526 --> 00:29:08,880
I just defrosted a nice tart tatin.
392
00:29:13,005 --> 00:29:15,302
You pussies turned up, then?
393
00:29:15,408 --> 00:29:16,780
Hey. What's up?
394
00:29:16,888 --> 00:29:19,622
My cock, hopefully.
You know what I mean?
395
00:29:19,727 --> 00:29:20,860
I'm still upset.
396
00:29:20,965 --> 00:29:23,500
I'm never going to a brothel with you again.
397
00:29:23,607 --> 00:29:25,183
Ah! You loved it.
398
00:29:25,288 --> 00:29:26,980
Hey-oop. We got action.
399
00:29:27,087 --> 00:29:28,261
Yeah. They all hate you.
400
00:29:28,407 --> 00:29:29,063
Why?
401
00:29:29,168 --> 00:29:30,661
Cos you're a tit.
402
00:29:30,767 --> 00:29:33,741
How many times have I gotta tell you retards? Tit works.
403
00:29:33,846 --> 00:29:37,340
Girls! We were just discussing breasts and there you were.
404
00:29:37,447 --> 00:29:38,543
Tosser!
405
00:29:38,646 --> 00:29:41,742
This is the guy you're gonna help out tonight.
406
00:29:41,848 --> 00:29:42,942
So glad.
407
00:29:43,046 --> 00:29:45,380
Thomas has gotta get 300 quid by tomorrow,
408
00:29:45,485 --> 00:29:47,360
otherwise Johnny White's gonna make him eat...
409
00:29:47,466 --> 00:29:49,183
Johnny White?!
410
00:29:49,287 --> 00:29:51,062
He's got 13 ounces of weed in the bag.
411
00:29:51,167 --> 00:29:52,420
OK!
412
00:29:52,526 --> 00:29:54,701
If you'd help, I could give you much.
413
00:29:54,807 --> 00:29:55,660
It's excellent weed.
414
00:29:55,766 --> 00:29:57,501
Hi.
415
00:29:57,605 --> 00:29:59,022
Oh, Christ.
416
00:29:59,127 --> 00:30:01,300
Not again. Who phoned her?
417
00:30:01,406 --> 00:30:02,823
Please, Katie. Don't.
418
00:30:02,926 --> 00:30:07,061
Hi, sorry. I couldn't find a bus.
You said somebody needed a hand?
419
00:30:07,167 --> 00:30:09,300
You like giving hand.
Don't you?
420
00:30:09,406 --> 00:30:10,863
See you.
421
00:30:10,966 --> 00:30:13,501
For fuck's sake!
She didn't kiss me, OK.
422
00:30:13,605 --> 00:30:15,183
She practically jumped you.
423
00:30:15,285 --> 00:30:16,380
I kissed her!
424
00:30:16,486 --> 00:30:20,260
I was drunk, and someone gave me MDMA, and...
425
00:30:20,365 --> 00:30:22,861
I felt like fucking kissing someone!
426
00:30:22,966 --> 00:30:24,543
Satisfied?
427
00:30:24,646 --> 00:30:27,302
I'm satisfied!
Be better if you showed us!
428
00:30:27,408 --> 00:30:28,861
Shut the fuck up, Cook.
429
00:30:28,965 --> 00:30:31,261
You promised me a party.
Where is it?
430
00:30:31,365 --> 00:30:33,203
Can't you feel it, kids?
431
00:30:37,805 --> 00:30:40,360
It's the sound of the underground.
432
00:30:44,608 --> 00:30:46,600
Come on, you suckers. Let's go.
433
00:30:50,845 --> 00:30:52,082
Cool.
434
00:31:11,796 --> 00:31:13,133
Woo-hoo!
435
00:31:13,236 --> 00:31:14,230
Come on!
436
00:31:30,956 --> 00:31:32,611
No fucking beat to this tune.
437
00:31:32,717 --> 00:31:35,932
Oh, no. It's there, boss.
You just gotta be pilled up.
438
00:31:36,038 --> 00:31:39,453
You're supposed to be selling not necking, Benny.
439
00:31:39,558 --> 00:31:42,311
You look like a fucking nonce, you twat.
440
00:31:44,036 --> 00:31:45,890
Hang on!
441
00:31:45,997 --> 00:31:48,872
He's pushing dope at my fucking shindig!
442
00:31:50,918 --> 00:31:53,153
Go! Go, motherfuckers!
443
00:31:55,156 --> 00:31:57,250
No! Him!
444
00:31:57,356 --> 00:31:58,791
Jesus!
445
00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:04,773
Wait till I get my hands on that little fucker. Out of my way!
446
00:32:04,875 --> 00:32:07,092
Fucking hell. Ooh!
447
00:32:07,196 --> 00:32:09,112
Fucking wankers!
448
00:32:29,357 --> 00:32:30,913
How much you sold?
449
00:32:32,915 --> 00:32:35,771
I done three bags. Tenner each.
450
00:32:35,876 --> 00:32:38,591
Don't even know why I'm fucking doing this.
451
00:32:39,638 --> 00:32:41,470
Thanks for keeping schtum.
452
00:32:43,478 --> 00:32:46,010
I don't care what your sister thinks.
453
00:32:46,116 --> 00:32:47,610
Yeah, well, I do.
454
00:32:47,715 --> 00:32:49,510
So thanks anyway.
455
00:32:53,398 --> 00:32:56,172
I didn't take MDMA that night.
456
00:32:56,277 --> 00:32:58,913
I just wanted to kiss you.
457
00:33:01,517 --> 00:33:03,113
I want to kiss you now.
458
00:33:04,755 --> 00:33:05,853
You're gay?
459
00:33:05,957 --> 00:33:08,372
No... no, I just...
460
00:33:08,476 --> 00:33:10,690
sorry.
461
00:33:10,796 --> 00:33:13,631
Yeah, me too.
462
00:33:14,676 --> 00:33:17,712
Shit. Shit!
463
00:33:19,157 --> 00:33:19,853
Which are you?
464
00:33:19,955 --> 00:33:21,931
Gay... I mean, Emily.
465
00:33:22,036 --> 00:33:26,691
Emily. Already I have £175. My weed is cheap and, my God, they love it!
466
00:33:26,795 --> 00:33:27,573
I got 80.
467
00:33:27,678 --> 00:33:29,750
Oh, this country is so great!
468
00:33:30,797 --> 00:33:35,573
Oh! T-T-Thomas!
You're on my t-t-turf!
469
00:33:35,675 --> 00:33:38,332
It's hitting profits, so you gotta pay.
470
00:33:38,437 --> 00:33:41,913
And we only accept cash and pain.
471
00:33:45,438 --> 00:33:47,173
Get the little fucker!
472
00:33:47,275 --> 00:33:48,951
Fucking smash him!
473
00:34:06,117 --> 00:34:09,052
My brother!
White people are gonna to season me!
474
00:34:09,157 --> 00:34:11,651
What the fuck, blood?
Quick, gimme your T.
475
00:34:11,756 --> 00:34:13,572
Make some noise, people!
476
00:34:13,678 --> 00:34:15,410
Gimme the T-shirt!
477
00:34:15,515 --> 00:34:20,253
Quick! Come on stage, you can blend in the posse. Up here!
478
00:34:20,358 --> 00:34:25,711
Let's get this started. Yeah,
let me hear you make some noise for T!
479
00:34:27,996 --> 00:34:30,611
Listen, let me get on this so I can get real ghetto on this
480
00:34:30,717 --> 00:34:34,811
Unlike you, I don't teef rhymes
I'm so sick that I don't feel fine
481
00:34:34,917 --> 00:34:36,491
Melanie's mingin' but Beverly's fine
482
00:34:36,595 --> 00:34:38,293
So Melanie's yours and Beverly's mine
483
00:34:38,397 --> 00:34:40,590
Let me get on this so girls can get real wet from this
484
00:34:40,698 --> 00:34:42,571
So you can't put them lips on this
485
00:34:42,676 --> 00:34:44,570
I'm black that's why I stand out
486
00:34:44,677 --> 00:34:46,992
Sippin' moonshine and gettin' shines while the moon's out
487
00:34:47,098 --> 00:34:48,812
You ain't got the creps to step to me man
488
00:34:48,916 --> 00:34:51,013
With my Airforce Ones I'll step to you, man
489
00:34:51,116 --> 00:34:52,772
When the music drops I rave it out
490
00:34:52,876 --> 00:34:55,051
I wanna see your middle finger then your first finger
491
00:34:55,158 --> 00:34:58,093
Put them in the air and skank it out
492
00:34:58,195 --> 00:35:00,791
Put them in the air and skank it out.
493
00:35:49,795 --> 00:35:53,393
Let me hear you make some noise for my African brother!
494
00:36:03,917 --> 00:36:09,592
85, 95. That's it. £295.
495
00:36:11,237 --> 00:36:13,692
There you go, fella.
Should be plenty.
496
00:36:13,795 --> 00:36:15,133
Look after that, yeah?
497
00:36:15,235 --> 00:36:16,653
Well done, Thomas.
498
00:36:16,756 --> 00:36:18,592
This is...
499
00:36:20,276 --> 00:36:21,773
you are good people.
500
00:36:21,875 --> 00:36:24,573
This is everything I have dreamed of and...
501
00:36:24,675 --> 00:36:27,192
Now you are my friends, too.
502
00:36:30,118 --> 00:36:31,991
Oh, shit.
503
00:36:33,678 --> 00:36:34,790
Oh, God!
504
00:36:36,395 --> 00:36:38,491
Morning, fella.
505
00:36:38,595 --> 00:36:41,191
Now we're really gonna fellate you.
506
00:36:50,876 --> 00:36:53,371
Gentlemen.
507
00:36:53,478 --> 00:36:56,913
Didn't I say I'd kill you if I ever saw you again?
508
00:37:01,197 --> 00:37:02,933
Believe this is mine.
509
00:37:03,038 --> 00:37:06,691
I love my work. Love it.
510
00:37:06,796 --> 00:37:09,311
You must be some kind of English pussy cunt?
511
00:37:14,918 --> 00:37:16,472
You heard me.
512
00:37:17,518 --> 00:37:18,851
I think you're afraid.
513
00:37:18,957 --> 00:37:21,552
Possibly your father was a homosexual donkey.
514
00:37:24,316 --> 00:37:26,370
I will fight you by myself.
515
00:37:26,478 --> 00:37:28,272
You can choose any weapon.
516
00:37:32,277 --> 00:37:33,990
You just made my day.
517
00:38:01,435 --> 00:38:03,890
So, in summary,
518
00:38:03,997 --> 00:38:05,531
I win.
519
00:38:05,637 --> 00:38:08,131
You are my gimp forever,
520
00:38:08,235 --> 00:38:10,291
I take all your money, beat you,
521
00:38:10,398 --> 00:38:12,892
and your mates to a pulp,
522
00:38:12,998 --> 00:38:15,313
and my boys rape all the women.
523
00:38:19,638 --> 00:38:21,330
Um, boss, the lads...
524
00:38:21,438 --> 00:38:23,810
The lads aren't too keen, you know, on the rape.
525
00:38:23,917 --> 00:38:26,530
For fuck's sake!
I'm talking dangerous!
526
00:38:26,638 --> 00:38:28,693
Can nobody talk dangerous any more?
527
00:38:28,796 --> 00:38:29,792
Jesus!
528
00:38:30,836 --> 00:38:33,253
Fucking Bristol.
529
00:38:33,356 --> 00:38:35,891
No ambition.
No...edge, no style.
530
00:38:35,998 --> 00:38:38,250
You know?
531
00:38:38,356 --> 00:38:41,251
Provincial.
532
00:38:41,356 --> 00:38:43,232
Sorry, boss.
533
00:38:44,916 --> 00:38:46,930
I'm ready.
534
00:38:47,035 --> 00:38:48,232
How do you want to fight?
535
00:38:50,396 --> 00:38:51,852
Promise you.
536
00:38:51,958 --> 00:38:53,650
You're gonna shit yourself.
537
00:38:53,758 --> 00:38:55,993
Oh, yeah.
538
00:39:02,477 --> 00:39:05,651
You ever seen a Naga Jolokia before, Thomas?
539
00:39:05,757 --> 00:39:07,730
Hottest chilli on the planet.
540
00:39:07,837 --> 00:39:11,530
It's like being fisted by Joe Calzaghe.
541
00:39:11,638 --> 00:39:13,431
And Joe's still got his gloves on.
542
00:39:19,356 --> 00:39:22,253
Who flinches...
543
00:39:22,358 --> 00:39:24,152
is fucked.
544
00:39:37,316 --> 00:39:38,313
You.
545
00:40:01,636 --> 00:40:03,472
Oh, in God's name, no.
546
00:40:08,836 --> 00:40:10,232
My God!
547
00:40:19,198 --> 00:40:20,152
Mmm.
548
00:40:25,498 --> 00:40:26,191
Delicious.
549
00:40:26,298 --> 00:40:27,133
Well done, mate.
550
00:40:27,236 --> 00:40:28,250
Well done, Thomas.
551
00:40:28,355 --> 00:40:29,370
What?
552
00:40:29,478 --> 00:40:30,413
My mother.
553
00:40:30,515 --> 00:40:32,172
She grows these in our garden.
554
00:40:32,276 --> 00:40:35,432
We are forbidden to eat them, she will beat us if we disobey.
555
00:40:37,038 --> 00:40:39,550
But boys will be boys.
And I am a very naughty boy.
556
00:40:40,796 --> 00:40:44,131
If I win, I pay you no money,
557
00:40:44,238 --> 00:40:47,310
and you leave me and my friends alone forever.
558
00:40:50,038 --> 00:40:51,313
You.
559
00:41:36,916 --> 00:41:38,071
Oh, my God.
560
00:41:40,717 --> 00:41:42,192
What is that?
561
00:41:43,435 --> 00:41:44,452
He shat himself.
562
00:41:44,557 --> 00:41:46,990
Oh. Oh, my God. That... that is so humiliating.
563
00:41:48,237 --> 00:41:49,213
Oh, no.
564
00:41:49,316 --> 00:41:50,610
Right, come on, lads.
565
00:41:50,716 --> 00:41:52,652
Let's get out of here.
566
00:41:52,756 --> 00:41:53,892
Mate, that is humming.
567
00:41:53,996 --> 00:41:56,670
You can't respect a man who shits himself, can you?
568
00:41:58,835 --> 00:41:59,993
Nan.
569
00:42:31,158 --> 00:42:33,492
Pandora, sweetness, what are you doing?
570
00:42:33,598 --> 00:42:35,891
I've given it some thought, and I've decided.
571
00:42:35,998 --> 00:42:38,010
You're gonna be the first, Thomas.
572
00:42:38,115 --> 00:42:39,732
The first?
573
00:42:39,838 --> 00:42:40,972
Yup.
574
00:42:41,077 --> 00:42:42,891
What do I want?
Surfing and turfing.
575
00:42:42,995 --> 00:42:44,533
When do I want it?
576
00:42:44,638 --> 00:42:45,553
Now!
577
00:43:00,147 --> 00:43:01,581
Mama!
578
00:43:04,266 --> 00:43:05,701
Thomas!
579
00:43:11,467 --> 00:43:12,860
Come on, JJ.
580
00:43:19,666 --> 00:43:20,702
Hi.
581
00:43:28,825 --> 00:43:31,083
You gonna come and flippin' well jump me now?
582
00:43:31,187 --> 00:43:32,902
I took my bra off and everything! Look!
583
00:43:34,508 --> 00:43:36,180
Aren't they fucking amazing?
584
00:43:43,266 --> 00:43:44,143
Mama...
585
00:43:44,193 --> 00:43:48,743
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