Original subtitles

- ¶

¶ Na na na na ¶

¶ Na na na na na na na ¶

- Arc, I've been looking for you.

- Oh, did I make honor roll?

- [chuckling]

No.

I noticed that you are the only student

who hasn't taken the mandatory art elective.

- I took The Art of Being Cool.

I got an "A."

- Yeah, you did.

[quietly] He got a "C."

- The only elective left is the Balloon Arts.

- Ooh, that's the second hardest one

after Swim Dancing With Mermaids.

- Turn in your balloon work in three days

and make it "pop."

[chuckles] A little balloon humor.

- [trumpet fanfare]

- Hear ye, hear ye, my fellow Astorians!

We have a national emergency.

- CROWD: [mixed comments]

- My daughter has no friends.

- This isn't happening.

- It's happening-- and it's amazing.

- I've been told most teenagers

have people over to hang,

but my sweet Princess

just sits alone in her room.

I love her, but she's pathetic.

- Wait, that's not true.

It's just my excuse

for when I sneak off to knight school.

- Quiet. I'm enjoying this.

- So, you are cordially invited to

the Princess needs a friend party--

starting now.

- [upbeat party music playing]

- Guards, fetch the Princess

from her chamber of sadness.

- This is so exciting.

We get to party with the Princess.

- Actually, I can't stay. I'm...

getting my wisdom teeth taken out.

- You got them taken out last week.

- I meant I'm getting them put back in.

[laughs]

I hate having to blow off Prudy to be the Princess.

My secret makes me feel like

I'm being a 50 percent bestie.

- [balloon snaps]

- Okay, look, I have a very serious balloon assignment.

I don't have time for friend math today.

- Prudy, I'm so psyched!

Today's the day me and the Princess fall in love.

- Oh, yeah, forgot.

No boys allowed.

- Prudy, tell the Princess I can do ten push-ups.

- [trumpet fanfare]

- Oh! Go make friends.

I know you can do it, sweet'ums.

- Oh, sorry. [gasps]

Your Highness,

I almost knocked you down with my giant strength.

- No problem, Prudy.

Which I'd assumed your name is.

- It is! [laughing]

Although, the giant pronunciation is...

[roaring] - [balloons popping]

- Anyway, this party's nice.

There are so many new friends to choose from.

- Wait a minute.

I do get to choose my friends.

And I can choose you.

Why have I never thought of this before?

- Because we just met four seconds ago.

- Has it been four seconds already?

Let's celebrate!

Burger tray?

- It's like you know me.

- [magic whooshing]

- [squeals] I'm so excited to read

the final book in the "Hag High" series.

Ooh, I wonder what they're gonna wear to Hag prom?

[giggling]

- Probably glitter and seaweed.

[clears throat]

Not that I have put lots and lots of thought into it.

- At least you didn't put as much

thought into it as this dude.

Check out his costume.

- Thanks! My mom made it.

- WARWICK: Oh!

- Uh, Sir Gareth... [laughs]

I knew you liked "Hag High," but...

maybe you shouldn't.

- Next! - Oh!

- Sage, it's the Ocean Hag from the Waxbury Cup.

- You write these books?

- Well, a hag's gotta make a living.

[laughs]

- Wow! Wow! Wow!

It's amazing already!

- Excuse me?

Where are the other copies of "Hag High 8:

Hags To Riches"?

- I'm sorry. [laughs]

That guy got the last one.

- Oh, Hagatha, no! Don't take that potion!

It'll change everything!

- Sir Gareth, you're gonna spoil this for us

like you did with every other "Hag High" book.

- Do I do that? - Yes!

You told us the ending to "Teenage Mutant Ninja Hags."

- And "Hag to the Future."

- And "Haggy Potter."

- Oh, I guess I do have a problem.

But I give you my word

I will not ruin this book for you.

- SAGE: [clears throat]

- Okay, now he's far away

and we can't hear his voice.

- SIR GARETH: Hagnes, don't trust that octopus!

- We can still hear you!

- SIR GARETH: Oh? Sorry! I didn't know.

- [magic whooshing]

- Okay, throw the jellybeans

on one, two, three!

- [chairs "popping"]

- Triple beanbag score! I win!

- For someone who's never played this game before,

you're crushing it.

- Oh, this is so much fun,

but I have to go do Princess stuff.

- Well, I hope we can hang out again.

- That's what friends do, right?

They hang out together.

New friend handshake?

- BOTH: ¶ Friends ¶

- See you soon.

Sooner than you think.

- Hmmm...

I'd better eat all these beanbag chairs

before Ciara sees them.

- [magic chiming]

- Hey, Prudy.

- Hey, Ciara. [laughs]

Where did you come from?

- [laughs] I know, right?

So...how was the Princess party?

Did you love it? Did you love her?

Tell me everything.

- Uh, it was fine.

But I didn't get to meet the Princess.

- I know. She's amazing.

Wait. What?

You didn't meet the Princess?

- [laughing]

Pretty crazy because...

[laughing] ...she was...

and then...

Well, you get it. Bye!

- Okay.

I'll just be right here...

wondering why my best friend is lying to me.

- ¶

- ARC: Do you wanna know a secret?

- CIARA: I'm a princess whose father

won't let her become a knight.

Please let me go to Knight School, Daddy!

Please, please, please!

So I use a magic ring and secretly train as Ciara.

Yes!

- ARC: And I'm Arc, a charming thief,

who has the same dream.

I'm destined to become a knight.

- CIARA: But people from outside the kingdom aren't allowed

in Knight School.

- ARC: So I'm pretending I belong here.

- CIARA: Now, we protect each other's secrets.

- ARC: So we can achieve our dream of becoming knights.

- ¶ We are the Knight Squad ¶

¶ Hey! ¶¶

- ¶

¶ Hey ¶

¶ Oh oh oh ¶

¶ Hey ¶

- Arc, I need your help with Prudy.

- Sorry, I'm really busy.

- See? I knew you'd understand.

So, Prudy and the Princess hung out yesterday.

I was finally 100 percent her bestie.

- So, what's the problem?

- When I asked Prudy how the party was,

she said she never even met the Princess.

- [gasps] No, she didn't!

- Oh, yes, she did!

So, I need you to talk to Prudy

and find out why she lied.

So, put down that...

rope with a knot in it?

- It's a worm kissing a worm.

How could you not see that?

- If you don't help me,

I'll be forced to talk to you about every feeling I have.

[sobbing] And there are a lot of feelings, Arc.

- I'm not your dad. Crying won't work on me.

- [sobbing continues]

- I was wrong. It'll work. I'll help you.

- BOTH: [sobbing]

- [magic whooshing]

- BOTH: [grunts of combat]

- [chuckling]

Holy Hag, don't eat that starfish!

- Okay, I've searched everywhere,

but I couldn't find a single copy of "Hag High."

- But did you find three copies?

- Sir Gareth's about to ruin that book for us.

Can't you use your magic to fix this?

- Wait, there is a spell.

I can cast it on our ears,

so whenever Sir Gareth talks to us,

it'll sound like he's saying nonsense.

- Sounds helpful--

and hilarious. Do it.

- First, a little luck for the magic makers.

[kissing wrists]

Thought that would look a lot cooler.

Earsy hearsy, mumbo jumbo!

- [magic chiming]

- SAGE: What? Did it work?

- Yabba gabba mimo. Clingy bo bot.

- It worked.

He sounds like an angry baby.

- Just nod and smile like you understand what he's saying.

- Oh, so do what I always do.

[giggles] Got it.

- Cling dorf eep, koo goo gah.

- ALL: Mmm!

- Sa na ka ra.

- Got it.

- Well said, sir.

- Did you see how he was waving that book around?

He totally spoiled it.

But we didn't hear a word.

- I was just telling those three

that tomorrow's class is cancelled.

An Astorian man-eating spider

will be migrating right through the training yard.

So, get outta here before you get eaten by a spider.

That's how we lost Grasshopper Squad!

- [magic whooshing]

- Okay, Prudy's coming.

Find out why she lied, but be cool.

- Don't worry, she won't suspect a thing.

So, Prudy, Princess party--

did you lie about it?

- Oh, I'm so glad you asked.

I've been dying to tell someone

how much fun it was.

And the Princess is amazing.

She's like no one I've ever met before.

- But Ciara said you didn't even meet the Princess.

Explain yourself,

loudly, so I could hear you,

even if I were standing behind the fireplace.

- I feel awful about lying.

I just don't think Ciara would understand

why I'd want to be friends with the Princess.

I don't want things to get weird

because we've always been so close.

- She is close to you--

really...

really close.

- Anyway, I just came to grab my wallet.

I'm getting me and the Princess

tickets to the baby dragon petting zoo.

They burn your hands, but warm your heart.

- Okay, this is bad.

- She's getting tickets early,

which means you'll get to pet all the good dragons.

- No. Not only is Prudy lying to me,

she's making secret plans with someone else.

[gasps]

Prudy likes the Princess better than me!

- But you are the Princess.

- Prudy doesn't know that.

- Wait. Are you jealous of yourself?

- Of course, I'm jealous of myself.

I stole my best friend.

¶ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ¶

¶ Ah ah ah ¶

- All right, Slobwick,

it took me all night, but I made...

an "X."

Let's see what you did.

- Ta-da!

- Oh, come on! You don't even have hands!

- [chuckling]

- No! No! Come back!

Teach me your ways!

- [sad flute music playing]

- Where's that music coming from?

- [flute music continues]

- You having a sad time behind Mr. Knight?

- Just saying goodbye to my bestie

with her favorite food song.

[sobbing] Prudy loved hot cross buns.

This tune goes out to you, Prudy.

- [sad flute music]

- That's a hot cross mess.

- So am I.

I was so worried about being a 50 percent bestie,

that I let the Princess 100 percent take my spot.

- I think you're overreacting.

Look, Prudy can never like anyone more than you.

- But how can I know that for sure?

- I have an idea that'll prove you're her favorite,

But, first... - [flute snaps]

- How does that help me?

- It helped me.

- [magic whooshing]

- Hey, don't we have class?

Where is everybody?

- Um, maybe they say you kissing your wrists,

and they're in the bathroom throwing up.

- [giggling]

The only thing I throw up is confetti.

[giggling]

Whee-e-e-e-e-e-e!

- I love that.

Let's leave.

- ALL: [gasping]

- A giant spider!

Somebody get a really big shoe!

- Run!

- [liquid squirts]

- That's an Astorian man-eating spider.

They react to movement, so stay perfectly still.

- Uh-oh, that's gonna be a problem.

Buttercup dances when she's nervous.

- Don't worry. I can hold it.

I can hold it!

Oh...

- [dramatic music]

- ALL: [gasping, screaming]

- Well, the good news is...

we still haven't heard a "Hag High" spoiler.

- That is good news. - And we never will.

Because the spider's coming back to eat us all.

- I love watching Prudy eat,

but how is this helping?

- My plan is gonna prove Prudence likes Ciara,

that's you,

more than she likes the Princess,

also you.

- [magic whooshing] - Ooh!

A singing spell-o-gram.

- Guess who's singing?

It's me.

- [classical music]

¶ To Prudence from the Princess ¶

¶

¶ I'm glad you're a friend that I've got ¶

¶ I need to talk ¶

¶ So let's meet tonight in the courtyard at seven ¶

¶ Let's make it seven on the dot ¶

- You invited her to hang out with the Princess?

Why is everyone Team Princess?

- Oh, don't worry.

She's about to get a second invitation from Ciara,

so she'll be forced to choose and she will choose Ciara.

Still you.

- [magic whooshing] - Oh.

Another one?

- [country & western guitar music]

¶ Prudy, it's me Ciara ¶

¶ I totally need to chat ¶

¶ Meet me in the rec room at seven ¶

¶ That's all I'll say about that ¶

Love ya. Bye!

Yee-haw!

- That is the best spell-o-gram

I've ever gotten in my life.

And I've gotten two.

- Did you hear that?

She likes me better. - Yeah.

- Thanks, Arc.

- Oh, you're welcome, little lady.

- Okay, I'm gonna go get ready.

Yee-haw!

- Uh, Warlock, go ahead and put the food on my tab.

The name is Sir Gareth.

- Arc? - Prudy.

Did you just get here?

Because I definitely wasn't watching you.

- I just got the cutest country spell-o-gram from Ciara.

- Well, I bet it sang like an angel.

- Yeah, it was all right.

Anyway, I'm supposed to meet Ciara later,

but will you tell her I can't.

- What do you mean you can't?

- I have to meet the Princess.

But don't tell Ciara that part.

Thanks.

- Oh, man.

¶ That didn't go as expected ¶

¶ 'Cause Ciara just got rejected ¶

- ¶ Na na na na ¶

- ¶

¶ Yeah yeah ah hey ¶

- Oh, hey, Arc.

Just putting out a few of Prudy's favorite things--

deli meats, cheeses,

her BFF.

That's me!

- Oh, man.

Look how happy you are.

- I am beyond happy.

Now I know what Buttercup feels like.

[giggling]

- Okay, try to hold on to that feeling.

Prudence decided to hang out

with the Princess instead of you.

- What?!

- But, hey, I mean, she still picked

one version of you.

I mean, it's not what you wanted, but it's what happened.

Is this cheering you up?

- All I wanted to do was prove I was Prudy's bestie.

But when she had a choice, she chose the Princess.

- Then we'll keep sending her spell-o-grams

until she chooses Ciara.

[Irish accent] We can use this little ditty.

¶ Go ¶

¶ Prudy girl ¶

¶ Ciara comes a-callin' ¶

- Stop!

Not even your high kicks can fix this.

This all started with a lie.

But if she knew my secret,

I'd be her 100 percent bestie.

- Wait. Are you saying what I think you're saying?

- [heavy sigh]

Yeah. I'm gonna tell Prudy I'm the Princess.

- [magic whooshing]

- SPIDER: [roaring]

- The spider's sounds are getting louder.

It'll be back soon.

- Ooh! I wonder if it's bringing treats.

- We are the treats!

- Slobby, do you know how dangerous is it

to come down here to get your Slobby snacks?

- ALL: Sir Gareth! - [gasps]

Flippity flop!

Walla walla, dinky doo!

- We don't understand you.

I cast a spell because we didn't trust you

not to spoil "Hag High."

- Oh, smoggle boo bah!

- I think he said a bad word.

- You need to cut us free, so Warwick can undo the spell.

- Yah! Yah!

- Hearsy earsy, magic quitters!

- [magic chiming]

- Snee bo bee bo!

So disappointed in you.

- [sighs] - We can hear you again!

- Bee bo snee bo. That's Warwick, right?

- You all should have trusted me not to spoil the book.

When a knight gives their word, they keep it.

Now let's get outta here before--

- SPIDER: [squealing]

- No, spider's back!

- SPIDER: [squealing]

- Slobwick, attack!

- Uh-oh!

- Sneaky coward!

- [squealing]

- Oh, no, I'm gonna nervous dance again.

- Sir Gareth, you have to fight her.

- I can't. They're endangered.

And I respect all man-eating creatures.

- What?

- Oh, but...

I can distract it while you run to safety.

[roar of effort]

- [dramatic music]

- SIR GARETH: [roar of effort]

Go! Go! Go!

[roar of effort]

- [dramatic music]

- Yes! I saved those kids

like Hagatha saved the day at Hag prom.

- You just spoiled the book!

- Oh, sorry. Thought you were gone.

- [magic whooshing]

- Sorry I'm late.

- Oh. No worries.

Your Dad gave me bubbly water--

and this random bar of gold.

- Just call me King Cool Dad.

- Can King Cool Dad give us some privacy?

- Totes me gotes.

Yeah, that was weird.

- This is gonna be difficult, but...

I've been keeping something from you.

- I've got something to tell you, too,

and it's absolutely killing me,

so, I have to go first.

- What is it?

- [heavy sigh]

I became your friend for the wrong reason.

I was trying to get you to like my squad mate Warwick.

- What?

- He has a big crush on you.

And he wanted me to tell you

that he can do ten push-ups.

But I couldn't do that.

It's just too big of a lie.

- So, you were just hanging out with me for Warwick?

- At first.

But once I got to know you, I realized you're great.

This is a big mess.

I was so ashamed, I even lied to my bestie,

Ciara, about meeting you.

- Wait, you just said "my bestie Ciara."

- Oh, yeah. Ciara's amazing.

And she never complained

whenever I'd high-five her into the next room.

- So, you don't think she's a 50 percent bestie?

- No. She's all in as my bestie.

I've never had a friend like her before.

The one thing is I think she's keeping a secret from me.

- Do you know what it is?

- I'm almost positive

it's that she has a big crush on Warwick.

- I don't think that's it.

- Well, whatever her secret is,

I'd never wanna pressure her into

telling me before she's ready.

I just hope she knows that I'm always here for her.

- Look, I bet if she was here right now, she'd say,

"you are the best bestie ever.

I love you so much."

- That is what she would say.

Hey, what did you want to tell me?

- Hearing you talk about this stranger Ciara

made me realize...

it can wait.

New friend handshake?

- BOTH: ¶ Friends ¶

- Bye. - See ya.

- I heard everything.

It was beautiful.

- Prudy is such a great friend.

- Well, I guess we all learned that

friendship is a lot like balloon art.

- Oh.

- It's delicate

and there's a lot of twists and turns.

But if you can bend a little, without breaking,

you'll end up with something...

that'll help you pass your art elective!

- It looks like me and Prudy.

I have to go show her this.

- Yeah, you do.

Wait! That's my final project!

- ¶ Oh, oh, hey ¶

- ¶

¶ Hey ¶

¶

¶ Hey ¶

¶

¶ Hey ¶

¶

¶¶

- ¶

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