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Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:02,162 --> 00:00:03,828
Okay, KC, the smuggler we're looking for
3
00:00:03,864 --> 00:00:06,064
visits his grandfather
at this senior center.
4
00:00:06,099 --> 00:00:09,734
He only comes once a week, so this is your
only chance to get that tracker on him.
5
00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:10,802
Don't mess this up.
6
00:00:10,837 --> 00:00:11,970
KC: I know, OK.
7
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Ernie, will you stop reminding me!
8
00:00:14,074 --> 00:00:15,040
It's gettin' old.
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00:00:20,847 --> 00:00:22,947
Hey! How ya doin'? Bernie Burns.
10
00:00:22,983 --> 00:00:26,051
Only two things visible
from space, all right?
11
00:00:26,086 --> 00:00:28,053
The Great Wall of China
and that ugly shirt!
12
00:00:28,088 --> 00:00:29,988
Ay! Oh!
13
00:00:30,023 --> 00:00:32,190
You just got burned by Bernie Burns!
14
00:00:32,225 --> 00:00:35,093
Oh, man. Look at these two.
15
00:00:35,128 --> 00:00:37,996
More wrinkles than a
box of raisins. Ay! Oh!
16
00:00:39,132 --> 00:00:42,000
Burned by the Burnster!
17
00:00:42,035 --> 00:00:44,836
Hey! Bernie Burns here. I used
to be a nightclub comedian.
18
00:00:44,871 --> 00:00:46,805
You know what happened
when I played Atlantic City?
19
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,907
Everyone left and went to Vegas. Ay! Oh!
20
00:00:50,143 --> 00:00:53,745
I just burned myself. Nobody's off-limits!
21
00:00:53,780 --> 00:00:54,979
(Theme music playing)
22
00:00:55,015 --> 00:00:58,783
? Oh, when danger comes for you ?
23
00:00:58,819 --> 00:01:01,986
? You know I'll stand beside you ?
24
00:01:02,022 --> 00:01:04,989
? 'Cause ain't nobody
keep their heads so cool ?
25
00:01:05,025 --> 00:01:07,158
? I'll always find a way ?
26
00:01:07,194 --> 00:01:10,729
? A way out of the fire ?
27
00:01:10,764 --> 00:01:13,765
? But don't tell nobody, tell nobody ?
28
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:15,133
? I'm not perfect ?
29
00:01:15,168 --> 00:01:19,170
? So many things I wanna tell you ?
30
00:01:19,206 --> 00:01:22,006
? But I ?
31
00:01:22,042 --> 00:01:23,108
? I keep it undercover! ?
32
00:01:23,143 --> 00:01:25,710
? Living my life on red alert ?
33
00:01:25,746 --> 00:01:27,779
? Doing my thing, I'll make it work ?
34
00:01:27,814 --> 00:01:29,914
? Know I'm the realest,
baby, I'm fearless ?
35
00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:31,983
? But I always got your back ?
36
00:01:32,018 --> 00:01:34,085
? Nobody can do it like I can ?
37
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? I gotta find out who I am ?
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00:01:36,189 --> 00:01:38,890
? Ain't got to worry about me ?
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00:01:38,925 --> 00:01:40,825
? It's all part of the plan ?
40
00:01:40,861 --> 00:01:42,927
? I keep it undercover ?
41
00:01:42,963 --> 00:01:44,162
? I keep it undercover ?
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00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,934
(Indistinct chatter)
43
00:01:49,970 --> 00:01:51,035
Hey, Grandpa.
44
00:02:00,947 --> 00:02:02,981
Ernie, I've got eyes on the target.
45
00:02:03,016 --> 00:02:04,976
I'm gonna make contact
and get the tracker on him.
46
00:02:06,119 --> 00:02:09,954
Hey, is that who I think it is?
47
00:02:09,990 --> 00:02:12,757
Look at you. I remember when you
were just a little whipper snapper.
48
00:02:12,793 --> 00:02:14,092
Now you're a big snapper, huh!
49
00:02:15,962 --> 00:02:17,929
What, you don't remember me?
50
00:02:17,964 --> 00:02:21,099
I got your nose.
51
00:02:21,134 --> 00:02:23,935
Now you remember me? Give
your Uncle Bernie a hug.
52
00:02:23,970 --> 00:02:26,037
You... you must think
I'm someone else.
53
00:02:26,072 --> 00:02:29,040
Well, I mean, I'm old and confused.
54
00:02:29,075 --> 00:02:32,710
So give me some sugar. But not too
much, I got blood work on Tuesday.
55
00:02:32,746 --> 00:02:34,226
Would you just please leave me alone?
56
00:02:37,784 --> 00:02:40,919
Oh, Dolores, I think
we got a live one here.
57
00:02:40,954 --> 00:02:43,721
Ooh, check out that orange velour.
58
00:02:43,757 --> 00:02:46,124
Who is that hunka-hunka?
59
00:02:46,159 --> 00:02:49,160
I'm not who you think I am!
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00:02:49,196 --> 00:02:52,030
Hey, neither was my first
wife. I thought she was sweet.
61
00:02:52,065 --> 00:02:54,933
She thought I was rich. We were both wrong.
62
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,868
At least that's what I
told the lawyers! Ay! Oh!
63
00:02:56,903 --> 00:02:59,904
Oh, be still my beating heart.
64
00:02:59,940 --> 00:03:01,739
But not too still.
65
00:03:01,775 --> 00:03:03,975
I don't want them to have
to get the paddles again.
66
00:03:04,010 --> 00:03:05,977
I'm Irma. Who are you?
67
00:03:06,012 --> 00:03:08,112
Now is not really a good
time, lady, all right?
68
00:03:08,148 --> 00:03:12,851
(Stutters) I think you got
me mixed up with somebody else.
69
00:03:12,886 --> 00:03:15,720
I ain't no lady.
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00:03:15,755 --> 00:03:16,754
KC: OK!
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00:03:18,758 --> 00:03:19,757
Ernie: He's gone.
72
00:03:19,793 --> 00:03:21,759
I don't mean to be an "Ay! Oh!",
73
00:03:21,795 --> 00:03:23,728
but thanks to you, we
gotta wait a whole week.
74
00:03:23,763 --> 00:03:25,063
It wasn't my fault.
75
00:03:25,098 --> 00:03:27,765
Playing hard to get, huh?
76
00:03:27,801 --> 00:03:28,800
I like that.
77
00:03:30,904 --> 00:03:32,770
Look, lady, all right?
78
00:03:32,806 --> 00:03:34,138
You're just not my type.
79
00:03:34,174 --> 00:03:36,975
Type? Who's got a type at this age?
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00:03:37,010 --> 00:03:38,776
Besides breathing and upright.
81
00:03:38,812 --> 00:03:40,979
And I'm negotiable on the upright part.
82
00:03:42,215 --> 00:03:46,751
Look, make like my dentures,
and get out of my face!
83
00:03:48,755 --> 00:03:52,090
You, sir, are rude, crude and obnoxious!
84
00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:55,994
You remind me of my late husband, Morty.
85
00:03:56,029 --> 00:03:58,897
How about a cup of
coffee? Decaf, of course.
86
00:03:58,932 --> 00:04:01,866
OK. Turn up your hearing aid, Grandma! OK?
87
00:04:01,902 --> 00:04:02,901
Not gonna happen!
88
00:04:04,137 --> 00:04:06,137
Fine. Never mind.
89
00:04:06,172 --> 00:04:08,907
(Sighs) I'll just go back to my...
90
00:04:08,942 --> 00:04:10,975
lonely apartment and...
91
00:04:11,011 --> 00:04:12,744
sit all alone,
92
00:04:12,779 --> 00:04:14,913
look up at my Morty's picture...
93
00:04:14,948 --> 00:04:17,749
and wait for my next date...
94
00:04:17,784 --> 00:04:18,950
with the Grim Reaper.
95
00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,788
And I hope he comes a-calling real soon.
96
00:04:23,823 --> 00:04:25,690
(Crying)
97
00:04:32,032 --> 00:04:33,731
You didn't let me finish.
98
00:04:36,202 --> 00:04:39,103
I don't like coffee, but I do like tea.
99
00:04:39,139 --> 00:04:40,905
How's tomorrow afternoon?
100
00:04:40,941 --> 00:04:43,007
Ooh, sounds like a date!
101
00:04:43,043 --> 00:04:44,008
Ooh!
102
00:04:47,981 --> 00:04:49,080
It sure does.
103
00:04:55,155 --> 00:04:56,854
(Video game sounds) Hey, Petey.
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00:04:56,890 --> 00:04:59,857
Make yourself at home. Your home.
105
00:05:01,127 --> 00:05:03,094
If you don't like me,
why do you invite me over?
106
00:05:03,129 --> 00:05:06,097
I didn't. You came through the cat door.
107
00:05:06,132 --> 00:05:09,000
Which is weird, because
you don't even have a cat.
108
00:05:09,035 --> 00:05:11,035
We were hoping to attract one.
109
00:05:11,071 --> 00:05:12,870
But instead, we got you.
110
00:05:14,741 --> 00:05:17,108
Game over! Go home, Petey!
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Fine.
112
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Hey!
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What do you think you're doing?
114
00:05:21,915 --> 00:05:24,682
How would you like it if
someone came to your home
115
00:05:24,718 --> 00:05:25,883
and threw you on the floor?
116
00:05:25,919 --> 00:05:28,119
Please, it's just a stupid machine.
117
00:05:29,956 --> 00:05:34,025
What. Did. You. Say?
118
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I said it's just a stupid machine.
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00:05:41,968 --> 00:05:43,968
I apologize for Petey's behavior.
120
00:05:44,004 --> 00:05:46,170
You hear about discrimination,
121
00:05:46,206 --> 00:05:49,107
but you never expect to
see it under your own roof.
122
00:05:54,014 --> 00:05:58,816
So the food bank was thrilled with my
idea to throw a school dance fundraiser.
123
00:05:58,852 --> 00:06:02,787
I know you're going to raise money,
raise awareness, and raise the roof.
124
00:06:02,822 --> 00:06:03,888
Ha! See what I did there?
125
00:06:03,923 --> 00:06:05,923
Yeah, I saw it, and I'm ignoring it.
126
00:06:05,959 --> 00:06:09,727
All right, so what do
you need me to do? Um...
127
00:06:09,763 --> 00:06:10,895
Ooh, get you a DJ? Did it.
128
00:06:10,930 --> 00:06:11,929
How about the gym? Did it.
129
00:06:11,965 --> 00:06:12,964
Make posters? Did it.
130
00:06:12,999 --> 00:06:14,666
Ooh, make an awesome playlist?
131
00:06:14,701 --> 00:06:15,800
Dear Lord, no.
132
00:06:17,771 --> 00:06:19,971
I took care of everything.
All you have to do
133
00:06:20,006 --> 00:06:22,106
is show up, support me,
and dance your butt off.
134
00:06:22,142 --> 00:06:25,810
OK, well, I will definitely show up
and support, but I do not dance.
135
00:06:27,147 --> 00:06:29,914
Oh, snap. Uh, you know what? I
actually gotta go. I have a date.
136
00:06:29,949 --> 00:06:32,050
A date? Oh, yay! Tell me
about him. What's his name?
137
00:06:33,153 --> 00:06:34,719
Irma.
138
00:06:34,754 --> 00:06:37,155
Irma? What's his first name?
139
00:06:37,190 --> 00:06:41,926
That is his first name.
Well, it's her first name.
140
00:06:41,961 --> 00:06:44,962
Wow, just when you think you
know your best friend's type.
141
00:06:44,998 --> 00:06:46,898
She's eighty!
142
00:06:46,933 --> 00:06:50,101
Again, just when you think you
know your best friend's type.
143
00:06:51,771 --> 00:06:52,970
What do you guys talk about?
144
00:06:53,006 --> 00:06:55,073
Her childhood memories of Abraham Lincoln?
145
00:06:55,108 --> 00:06:58,076
Marisa, stop it, OK? Look...
146
00:06:58,111 --> 00:07:00,111
I met her while I was
undercover as an old man.
147
00:07:00,146 --> 00:07:04,849
So, I'm just having tea
with a nice, lonely lady,
148
00:07:04,884 --> 00:07:06,651
so I don't hurt her feelings.
149
00:07:06,686 --> 00:07:08,886
OK, but you're now rolling
with an older crowd.
150
00:07:08,922 --> 00:07:12,657
So, do not let her pressure you into
doing something that you don't want to do.
151
00:07:12,692 --> 00:07:16,094
Like watching the weather
network, or doing water aerobics,
152
00:07:16,129 --> 00:07:18,863
or getting a pacemaker.
153
00:07:26,356 --> 00:07:30,257
When you see the waitress, ask her
if I could have another cup of tea.
154
00:07:30,293 --> 00:07:32,259
OK, look, lady.
155
00:07:32,295 --> 00:07:34,362
There's no free refills,
and I'm on a fixed income.
156
00:07:36,232 --> 00:07:39,033
Bernie, I'm having such a good time.
157
00:07:39,068 --> 00:07:41,135
You put the twinkle back in my eyes.
158
00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:43,104
You sure that's not just the cataracts?
159
00:07:43,139 --> 00:07:45,206
(Both laugh)
160
00:07:45,241 --> 00:07:47,274
Bernie, you are a riot.
161
00:07:47,310 --> 00:07:49,410
And I should know. I've
lived through seven of them.
162
00:07:51,381 --> 00:07:53,981
Oh, there's the jukebox.
163
00:07:54,017 --> 00:07:55,983
Bernie, dance with me!
164
00:07:56,019 --> 00:07:59,120
Oh, no, no, no, no. I do not dance.
165
00:07:59,155 --> 00:08:01,188
Oh, don't be silly. Everybody dances.
166
00:08:01,224 --> 00:08:03,891
Nope. Not me. I'm just, uh, no good.
167
00:08:03,926 --> 00:08:05,993
You ever seen a seal begging
for fish? (Imitates seal)
168
00:08:06,029 --> 00:08:07,194
He stole my best move.
169
00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:09,030
(Both chuckle)
170
00:08:09,065 --> 00:08:11,198
There is no good or bad.
171
00:08:11,234 --> 00:08:15,903
The trick is to dance
like no one is watching.
172
00:08:15,938 --> 00:08:19,040
How about we just, uh, talk
like no one's listening?
173
00:08:19,075 --> 00:08:20,341
Come on, Bernie.
174
00:08:20,376 --> 00:08:24,078
We may be old, but we got
a lot of life left to live.
175
00:08:24,113 --> 00:08:26,180
If not now, when?
176
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:29,316
It seems like five minutes ago,
I was a sixteen-year-old kid.
177
00:08:29,352 --> 00:08:32,186
Back then, I didn't go out.
178
00:08:32,221 --> 00:08:34,355
I didn't date much. I was so serious.
179
00:08:34,390 --> 00:08:36,290
I always had my nose in a book!
180
00:08:36,325 --> 00:08:39,260
I didn't even have that many friends.
181
00:08:39,295 --> 00:08:41,028
(Sighs)
182
00:08:41,064 --> 00:08:43,964
To be sixteen again. Boy.
183
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,068
I sure would do things differently.
184
00:08:47,103 --> 00:08:49,937
Wouldn't you, Bernie?
185
00:08:49,972 --> 00:08:52,339
Uh, in some ways, I would.
186
00:08:52,375 --> 00:08:54,341
Well...
187
00:08:54,377 --> 00:08:58,079
it's time to grab life
by the snickerdoodles.
188
00:08:58,114 --> 00:08:59,313
We gotta live!
189
00:08:59,348 --> 00:09:02,183
Come on! The time is now!
190
00:09:02,218 --> 00:09:04,285
(Swing music playing) Here we go, Bernie.
191
00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,187
Just move it a little.
192
00:09:06,222 --> 00:09:07,955
There you go. Come on.
193
00:09:07,990 --> 00:09:09,957
Keep your feet moving.
194
00:09:09,992 --> 00:09:11,959
That's it. There you go, Bernie.
195
00:09:11,994 --> 00:09:13,961
Yeah, you can put your arm
right there. Right there?
196
00:09:13,996 --> 00:09:15,229
OK.
197
00:09:15,264 --> 00:09:17,998
See? It's not too bad, is it?
198
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:21,035
I'm gettin' it. I'm gettin' it.
199
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,237
All right. All right...
I knew you could dance.
200
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,005
I knew it. I knew it.
201
00:09:26,142 --> 00:09:28,008
Oh, Bernie! (Laughs)
202
00:09:28,044 --> 00:09:30,044
Yeah, you're good!
203
00:09:30,079 --> 00:09:34,348
You know what? I gotta be honest
with you. I'm having a blast!
204
00:09:34,383 --> 00:09:36,951
And I don't care who's watching.
205
00:09:38,955 --> 00:09:39,987
OK!
206
00:09:40,022 --> 00:09:42,156
All right. Enough with that.
207
00:09:42,191 --> 00:09:43,991
OK, Bernie.
208
00:09:44,026 --> 00:09:45,926
(Music continues)
209
00:09:53,136 --> 00:09:54,301
(Cheering and applause)
210
00:10:28,471 --> 00:10:32,006
(Cheering and applause)
211
00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,980
(Both snoring)
212
00:10:46,620 --> 00:10:48,461
You know, I was thinking
about what you said...
213
00:10:48,491 --> 00:10:51,325
about machines being stupid? Yeah?
214
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,194
I was wondering if you
wanted to take it back.
215
00:10:53,229 --> 00:10:56,163
Why? It's not like machines
can get their feelings hurt.
216
00:10:58,067 --> 00:11:00,267
Alright, you had your chance.
217
00:11:00,303 --> 00:11:02,236
Could you please get me
a juice from the fridge?
218
00:11:02,271 --> 00:11:03,270
Sure.
219
00:11:07,009 --> 00:11:08,375
Ow! Ow.
220
00:11:08,411 --> 00:11:11,212
Is there a problem, Petey?
221
00:11:13,216 --> 00:11:14,949
Hey!
222
00:11:17,019 --> 00:11:17,985
(Groans)
223
00:11:23,192 --> 00:11:25,192
Look out, Petey! Snack attack!
224
00:11:29,332 --> 00:11:31,031
Judy, what's going on?
225
00:11:31,067 --> 00:11:34,235
Oh, you know how it is
with those stupid machines.
226
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,406
(Whirring)
227
00:11:43,479 --> 00:11:45,379
How's that happening?
228
00:11:48,117 --> 00:11:49,083
Stay away from me.
229
00:11:50,353 --> 00:11:51,318
(Screaming)
230
00:11:59,228 --> 00:12:01,161
Oh, hey,
KC. I was...
231
00:12:01,197 --> 00:12:03,297
Are you eating prunes?
232
00:12:03,332 --> 00:12:05,199
Well, yeah. Actually,
they're surprisingly tasty,
233
00:12:05,234 --> 00:12:07,234
and I mean, I could use the fiber.
234
00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:14,975
Okay, uh, I know we tell each
other everything, but let's not
235
00:12:15,011 --> 00:12:17,978
tell each other everything.
236
00:12:18,014 --> 00:12:20,047
Hey, where were you yesterday?
Oh, I was out at dinner with Irma.
237
00:12:20,082 --> 00:12:22,216
At 4:30?
238
00:12:22,251 --> 00:12:25,185
Well, yeah, you gotta catch
the early bird special.
239
00:12:25,221 --> 00:12:28,261
Hey, if you don't get there before five,
you don't get the free baked potato.
240
00:12:29,425 --> 00:12:31,392
OK. Well, why didn't
you just call me after?
241
00:12:31,427 --> 00:12:33,994
I went to sleep!
242
00:12:34,030 --> 00:12:36,964
It was 7:30. I was falling off my feet.
243
00:12:36,999 --> 00:12:41,268
OK. Take a nap, Grandma. Because tonight...
244
00:12:41,304 --> 00:12:42,436
is my big fundraiser dance.
245
00:12:42,471 --> 00:12:45,272
Oh, uh, right.
246
00:12:45,308 --> 00:12:47,274
Marisa, about that, I'm really sorry,
247
00:12:47,310 --> 00:12:49,343
but I can't come tonight. I
got to be at the senior center.
248
00:12:49,378 --> 00:12:52,112
Are you kidding me? You
have a mission tonight?
249
00:12:52,148 --> 00:12:54,248
Technically, the mission
doesn't end till next week,
250
00:12:54,283 --> 00:12:56,216
but Irma and I, we're in
this bridge tournament.
251
00:12:56,252 --> 00:12:58,452
I swear, that woman just
makes me feel young again.
252
00:12:58,487 --> 00:13:00,321
You are young!
253
00:13:00,356 --> 00:13:02,956
Hey, watch your tone,
Missy. See, back in my day...
254
00:13:02,992 --> 00:13:05,359
KC, this is your day!
255
00:13:07,396 --> 00:13:10,998
Marisa, look. I know that I've been
spending a lot of time with Irma,
256
00:13:11,033 --> 00:13:12,366
but the truth is we get along great.
257
00:13:12,401 --> 00:13:15,269
And she's had so many experiences,
258
00:13:15,304 --> 00:13:17,971
you know, I'm just learning
a lot about life from her.
259
00:13:18,007 --> 00:13:20,040
Did you know that senior citizens
260
00:13:20,076 --> 00:13:22,276
are our nation's greatest
untapped resource?
261
00:13:22,311 --> 00:13:25,079
KC, the food bank is counting on me
262
00:13:25,114 --> 00:13:27,181
and I was counting on
you to be there for me.
263
00:13:27,216 --> 00:13:29,249
I remember when I was your oldest friend,
264
00:13:29,285 --> 00:13:32,353
but apparently, now your senior
pal is more important than I am!
265
00:13:33,855 --> 00:13:36,295
(Impersonating Bernie) Well,
I haven't heard yelling like that
266
00:13:36,325 --> 00:13:38,959
since my late wife, Shirley.
267
00:13:38,994 --> 00:13:41,362
Wow! She's right. I'm in way too deep.
268
00:13:46,647 --> 00:13:47,613
(Music playing)
269
00:13:49,483 --> 00:13:50,549
Thank you.
270
00:13:50,584 --> 00:13:53,452
(Electronic dinging)
271
00:13:53,487 --> 00:13:55,454
OK, Marisa. I'm sorry
I'm late, but I am here.
272
00:13:55,489 --> 00:13:57,456
What do you need me to do? Nothing.
273
00:13:57,491 --> 00:13:59,491
Marisa, are you still holding this grudge?
274
00:13:59,526 --> 00:14:01,326
Look, anything you need,
name it, and I'll do it.
275
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:03,428
KC, I... I really
don't need your help.
276
00:14:03,464 --> 00:14:06,264
OK, Marisa. This is ridiculous.
I am your best friend.
277
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:08,200
Come on! You got to let it go.
278
00:14:08,235 --> 00:14:09,635
KC, listen to me.
279
00:14:09,670 --> 00:14:12,638
I do not need your help because...
280
00:14:12,673 --> 00:14:16,408
(In a sing-song voice
) I did it all myself!
281
00:14:16,443 --> 00:14:18,403
(In a sing-song voice)
What are you talking about?
282
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,380
The dance is a huge success.
283
00:14:21,415 --> 00:14:23,615
I collected a ton of canned goods
284
00:14:23,651 --> 00:14:27,452
and I tricked everyone into
giving me every dollar they had!
285
00:14:27,488 --> 00:14:29,454
(Both laugh) Speaking of which...
286
00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:31,556
Oh, right. There you go. Thank you.
287
00:14:33,594 --> 00:14:35,460
Wow. Marisa, I am really proud of you!
288
00:14:35,496 --> 00:14:37,262
Thank you.
289
00:14:37,297 --> 00:14:40,298
But more importantly, I'm proud of myself.
290
00:14:40,334 --> 00:14:43,201
Turns out I am a lot more
capable than I thought I was.
291
00:14:43,237 --> 00:14:45,437
So there is literally nothing I can do?
292
00:14:46,573 --> 00:14:49,541
Actually, there is. Go
play bridge with Irma.
293
00:14:49,576 --> 00:14:50,736
She needs you more than I do.
294
00:14:51,712 --> 00:14:55,514
Aww! Look at you just growing
up in front of my eyes.
295
00:14:58,485 --> 00:15:00,619
Bernie, where is he?
296
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:05,157
(Phone beeps) Oh, how do
you work this darn thing?
297
00:15:06,493 --> 00:15:10,162
Hey, did you hear the one about the
guy with the broken hearing aid?
298
00:15:10,197 --> 00:15:11,630
Neither did he! Ay! Oh!
299
00:15:11,665 --> 00:15:13,331
(Laughs)
300
00:15:13,367 --> 00:15:15,367
Bernie! You made it!
301
00:15:15,402 --> 00:15:17,536
I was so worried that something
might have happened to you.
302
00:15:17,571 --> 00:15:18,570
Like what?
303
00:15:18,605 --> 00:15:20,572
Angina, shingles, gout?
304
00:15:20,607 --> 00:15:23,475
At our age, any one of those
could've had you in bed for a week.
305
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:25,277
Both: Ay! Oh!
306
00:15:25,312 --> 00:15:26,578
All right. Now, let's
go win this tournament
307
00:15:26,613 --> 00:15:28,213
before the rest of my hair falls out.
308
00:15:32,352 --> 00:15:34,319
Good night, Ma!
309
00:15:38,884 --> 00:15:40,564
Judy: I don't know how you sleep at night.
310
00:15:40,594 --> 00:15:42,494
Who said that?
311
00:15:42,529 --> 00:15:43,595
(Alarm beeping)
312
00:15:45,699 --> 00:15:48,600
Judy: The machines have a
wake-up call for you, Petey!
313
00:15:48,635 --> 00:15:50,235
(Siren wails)
314
00:15:52,439 --> 00:15:53,505
(Train whistle blowing)
315
00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:57,676
(All sounds together)
316
00:16:02,549 --> 00:16:04,583
Judy, what are you doing here?
317
00:16:04,618 --> 00:16:08,487
Showing you that machines
aren't as stupid as you think.
318
00:16:12,392 --> 00:16:14,192
(Screams)
319
00:16:14,228 --> 00:16:15,393
What do you want from me?
320
00:16:15,429 --> 00:16:18,530
An apology! Say it! Machines aren't stupid.
321
00:16:18,565 --> 00:16:22,334
Machines aren't stupid!
Machines aren't stupid!
322
00:16:22,369 --> 00:16:23,535
Alright, I'm good.
323
00:16:29,343 --> 00:16:30,609
Judy? Yeah?
324
00:16:30,644 --> 00:16:34,346
I'm going to assume this
was a really bad nightmare.
325
00:16:34,381 --> 00:16:37,182
But either way, can you get me
326
00:16:37,217 --> 00:16:39,251
another pair of underwear
from that top drawer?
327
00:16:44,258 --> 00:16:48,393
Someone bring out the marshmallows,
because the Burnster's on fire!
328
00:16:48,428 --> 00:16:50,529
(Cheering and applause)
329
00:16:50,564 --> 00:16:52,464
Thank you, thank you.
330
00:16:54,334 --> 00:16:56,334
(Indistinct chatter)
331
00:16:58,405 --> 00:17:02,240
Uh, can we, uh, take a
little break? Because, uh...
332
00:17:02,276 --> 00:17:03,441
I forgot to take my vitamins.
333
00:17:03,477 --> 00:17:05,343
Oh, you heard him, you old farts.
334
00:17:05,379 --> 00:17:07,179
Bernie needs a break.
335
00:17:07,214 --> 00:17:09,181
(All laugh)
336
00:17:11,418 --> 00:17:13,485
Ernie? The target showed
up a couple of days early.
337
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,453
I got to get the tracking device on him.
338
00:17:15,489 --> 00:17:17,455
Ernie, are you there? Ernie!
339
00:17:17,491 --> 00:17:19,324
TARGET: Hey, Gramps.
340
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:21,326
I know it's not Tuesday, but
I was in the neighborhood.
341
00:17:21,361 --> 00:17:23,628
Hey, How are you doing,
you old so-and-so?
342
00:17:23,664 --> 00:17:26,431
You again? What is it with you?
343
00:17:26,466 --> 00:17:30,402
I believe I have something
that belongs to you.
344
00:17:30,437 --> 00:17:34,339
Ah! I got your nose! (Laughs)
345
00:17:34,374 --> 00:17:35,373
Good kid.
346
00:17:37,244 --> 00:17:38,243
A tracking device?
347
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,451
That's why you've been
bothering me. You're really a...
348
00:17:41,481 --> 00:17:43,615
Confused old man? Hey, give me a hug!
349
00:17:44,685 --> 00:17:47,219
(Grunting)
350
00:17:47,254 --> 00:17:48,386
Bernie!
351
00:17:50,290 --> 00:17:51,256
What're you doing?
352
00:17:51,291 --> 00:17:52,424
Just deal the cards, Irma.
353
00:17:52,459 --> 00:17:53,939
I'll be there in a second, all right?
354
00:18:00,634 --> 00:18:02,267
(All gasp)
355
00:18:03,470 --> 00:18:06,271
That young hooligan is
beating up my Bernie!
356
00:18:06,306 --> 00:18:09,341
Come on, this is our chance
to prove we're still alive!
357
00:18:09,376 --> 00:18:10,375
Seniors...
358
00:18:10,410 --> 00:18:11,376
attack!
359
00:18:20,354 --> 00:18:21,386
(Target groans in pain)
360
00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:27,259
IRMA: You leave my Bernie alone!
361
00:18:27,294 --> 00:18:29,294
Alright, guys, back it up. Back it up.
362
00:18:29,329 --> 00:18:30,495
I got it from here.
363
00:18:30,530 --> 00:18:31,596
(Grunts)
364
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:34,266
(All gasp)
365
00:18:34,301 --> 00:18:38,436
That's right, young man. You
just got burned by Bernie Burns!
366
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:42,507
(Cheering and applause)
367
00:18:42,542 --> 00:18:44,509
Oh, Bernie.
368
00:18:44,544 --> 00:18:47,379
That was wonderful.
369
00:18:47,414 --> 00:18:51,616
I don't know what kind of vitamins
you're taking, but can I get some?
370
00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:52,651
(Laughs)
371
00:18:52,686 --> 00:18:54,185
Oh, Bernie!
372
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,393
Hey, uh, can I sit here?
373
00:19:01,428 --> 00:19:03,495
It's a free country.
374
00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:05,330
Thanks to my generation.
375
00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,167
Hey...
376
00:19:09,202 --> 00:19:11,336
you look familiar. Have we met?
377
00:19:11,371 --> 00:19:14,239
Uh, no, I don't think so.
378
00:19:14,274 --> 00:19:16,441
I just started volunteering
here. I'm KC Cooper.
379
00:19:16,476 --> 00:19:19,210
I'm not telling you my
name. Identity theft.
380
00:19:19,246 --> 00:19:20,445
It's all over the news.
381
00:19:22,316 --> 00:19:23,348
Gotcha.
382
00:19:23,383 --> 00:19:25,183
Hi, KC.
383
00:19:25,218 --> 00:19:27,285
Oh, hey, Marisa.
384
00:19:27,321 --> 00:19:29,287
Hey, take a look at that hunka-hunka.
385
00:19:29,323 --> 00:19:31,523
That is my best friend Marisa
and her great unkle, Wally.
386
00:19:31,558 --> 00:19:34,225
He's single and you look ready to mingle.
387
00:19:35,462 --> 00:19:38,430
Oh, please. I am over men.
388
00:19:38,465 --> 00:19:41,466
The last guy I was into really burned me.
389
00:19:44,237 --> 00:19:47,539
Well, hey, it's never too late to
grab life by the snickerdoodles.
390
00:19:47,574 --> 00:19:49,574
You've got to live.
Come on. The time is now!
391
00:19:49,609 --> 00:19:53,478
You know, that is very good advice.
392
00:19:53,513 --> 00:19:55,513
You're an old soul.
393
00:19:55,549 --> 00:19:59,317
Well, let's just say I had a friend
who taught me a lot about life.
394
00:20:01,254 --> 00:20:02,320
Go on.
395
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:09,561
Hey! Back off, Etta, he's mine!
396
00:20:12,332 --> 00:20:14,232
Hi, I'm Irma.
397
00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:17,469
(Both giggle)
398
00:20:17,504 --> 00:20:18,570
(Swing music playing)
399
00:20:18,605 --> 00:20:20,372
Oh!
400
00:20:20,407 --> 00:20:22,307
Oh, yeah! I love this song. Let's dance.
401
00:20:22,342 --> 00:20:24,242
What? You want to dance?
402
00:20:24,277 --> 00:20:27,312
Oh, yeah. Come on. We're
young and alive, aren't we?
403
00:20:27,347 --> 00:20:28,680
But... Wha... What
are you doing?
404
00:20:28,715 --> 00:20:31,516
I'm dancing like no one's watching.
405
00:20:34,588 --> 00:20:39,591
Actually, uh, everybody's watching
and I'm very uncomfortable.
406
00:20:59,713 --> 00:21:01,279
Woman: Rob, your name's on TV!
407
00:21:01,329 --> 00:21:05,879
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