Original subtitles

What's up with the blender, bro?

I thought we finally got you on solids.

I'm making a protein shake.

This powder guarantees I'll double my muscles

within a month.

( grunting )

You might want to double the serving size.

Hey, guys, listen up.

We got a missing kid case.

rereo o is the son of my buddy, a former spy.s, listen up.

He was last seen at his all-boy cadet academy.

The police investigation turned up nothin'.

Now, my friend needs a teenage boy to go undercover

and find out what happened,

and I said I have just the boy for the job.

I immediately thought of you, KC.

I said, "If there's a boy out there that can find your son,

it's my daughter."

Thanks, Daddy. Yeah.

Am I hearing this correctly?

I'm a real boy. A real boy.

Yes, we know, Pinocchio.

Relax, you're doing too. You'll back up KC.

Fine. You might be able to make her look like a boy,

but she won't know how to act like one.

Of course I will. I'll just drop a few IQ points.

There's more to it than that.

Can you do this?

( burps )

Ohh. Was that last night's turkey tetrazzini?

That's right. ( burps )

( Craig laughing )

I had seconds.

Oh, when danger comes for you

You know I'll stand beside you

'Cause ain't nobody keep their head so cool

I always find a way, a way out of the fire

But don't tell nobody, tell nobody

I'm not perfect, so many things I

Want to tell you, but I

I keep it undercover

Living my life on red alert

Doing my thing, gonna make it work

Know I'm the realest, baby, I'm fearless

But I always got your back

Nobody can do it like I can

I got to find out who I am

Ain't got to worry about me

It's all part of the plan

I keep it undercover

I keep it undercover

I gotta say, The Organization did a killer job

turning you into a guy.

I'm sure if you want, they could make you look like a guy, too.

Hey, what's up? Guy Mann.

"Guy Mann"?

Don't you think you're trying a little too hard?

Why? What's your undercover name?

Rico Fuentes. I'm a Dominican transfer student.

My father is a breakfast cereal tycoon

and my mother is a former Broadway star

who gave it all up for love

but still maintains her own fragrance line.

"Floral by Fuentes."

Yeah, I'm trying too hard.

What's up, men? I'm Aaron. You guys new here?

Yeah. Cool.

Hey, what's up, I'm, uh, Guy Mann.

You can call me Guy...man.

Newbie alert.

Nice one, bro.

Hey! What kind of person does that?

I am new to this academy,

I'm already feeling a little insecure, 'kay?

I think you owe me an apology, Mister.

You're right. I should have welcomed you like this.

( laughing ) Oh, wait, I already did.

Welcome to Winston, weirdo.

Come on, man.

Thanks for having my back, Rico.

You don't get it. Guys have a pack mentality.

To gain their trust, you have to act like them.

They can't just accept someone who's a little different?

You want to fit in? You just spit, grunt,

and adjust something that shouldn't be adjusted in public.

Fine. I can't believe it's come to this,

but I guess a Guy Mann's gotta do what a Guy Mann's gotta do.

Ahem. Hey, dudes, I think we got off on the wrong foot.

Let me just clear the air.

( burps )

Ohh. You're disgusting, man.

I like that!

They really like you.

Yeah. Now I just gotta make 'em like me a little less.

( groans )

I can't believe it's just the two of us.

Alone at last, alone at last.

Thank God Almighty, we're alone at last!

( both laughing )

So you want to put on some slow jams and get our dance on?

Yes, I do. Ooh!

How 'bout we turn the lights on?

Why are we livin' like it's Ben Franklin times up in here?

Judy, where did you come from? Ohh!

China. I think.

Well, it's our alone time. Do you mind?

Yeah, I mind.

We have no mission, and I'm bored.

Well, here's a mission: Get lost.

That's not nice.

Judy, come over here.

Relax, sweetie, you work too hard.

What are you doing, Agent Kira?

Trying to find your darn Off switch.

Oh, no, you don't! Yes, I do!

Ohh! Kira, you broke it! Now we'll never be able to put her in Sleep mode!

What are we gonna do now?

Fire up those slow jams!

Fortunately, you didn't break my boogie mode.

So, what'd you find out?

That we better complete this mission soon,

because they're doing physicals Thursday

and I am not prepared to turn my head and cough.

You never are...

you never are.

I meant what did you find out about Lorenzo?

All I heard is he walked out of class one day

and no one has seen or heard from him since.

What'd you find out? Same.

I been on the computer for two hours

and all I found out is there's a school formal coming up

and half the guys are lying about having a date.

The other half claim their girlfriends live in Canada.

Wait, didn't you used to-- I did! And we broke up.

Huh. Sure you did.

Man, this mission's gonna be harder than

those...abs.

(whispering) Why are there so many of them?

(clears throat) What's up, bro?

Uh, just out of curiosity,

we heard something about a missing cadet. Is it true?

Yeah. His name is Lorenzo, and--

Hey, loser. Gimme your shampoo.

Yeah, Guy, give him your shampoo.

I was talking to you, Lizard Breath.

Oh.

FYI, this is a two-in-one shampoo and conditioner.

Use it sparingly. Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Ooh!

Did I use too much?

Nope, no, that-- that's the right amount.

So, what are you guys talking about?

Uh, that kid who, uh-- Nothin'.

We were talking about nothin'.

All right. Well, anyone want to check out the puke

from this kid who lost his dinner?

Heard it's mad chunky.

Ha ha. Heck yeah.

What's the point of vomit if it's not chunky?

Yeah! ( laughing )

All right, all right.

I'd like to get a look at that throw-up.

Ah. You wanna see some vomit? Look in the mirror.

Oooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Come on, Aaron.

Hey, bro, did you see that?

As soon as Spencer walked in, Aaron clammed up.

They must know something about Lorenzo!

Forget that. Did you see how Spencer treated me?

Now that they like you, I think I may be the weakest link.

( sniffling )

Ernie, bro, man up. You don't have to cry about it.

I'm not. I got shampoo- slash-conditioner in my eye.

SPENCER: Yo, Guy.

Come in here.

What's up, guys?

I like you. You're cool.

You were saying something about me being cool?

Why you sittin' like a girl?

I was, uh...stretchin', bro.

Got a knee injury wrestlin' a bear over some beef jerky.

I won.

So, listen, bro.

You up for havin' a little fun?

Heck yeah, what are we gonna do?

Build some stuff?

Shoot some hoops?

Maybe watch The Notebook and not cry?

No.

We have a little secret tradition.

To show who's boss around here...

we like to punk the new guys.

( nervous laughter ) But I'm the new guy.

No, you're Guy and you're new, but you're not the new guy we're talking about.

Oh. Good, because didn't want to have to punk myself.

Nah, nah, we only like to punk the weak ones,

like your roommate Rico.

Spence, I don't know.

Remember what happened last time...

Yeah, yeah, I remember.

We had a lot of fun.

Didn't we, Aaron?

Sounds super-cool. ( nervous chuckle )

I'm gonna go hit the little boys' room. Anyone wanna come with?

To shave. Ya know?

I guess I'm the only one who has to do it twice a day.

Losers! Ha!

What's your problem, man?

AARON (over bug ): I don't know if we should do this.

Remember what happened when you punked Lorenzo?

I didn't punk Lorenzo. We all did.

So I'm not going down for that. We all are.

Hey! Wanna play checkers? Chinese checkers? Chess?

Chinese chess? Marbles?

"Marbles." Man, that's a weird word.

Marbles. Marbles. Marbles.

Marbles marbles marbles marbles marbles marbles

marbles marbles marbles marbles marbles marbles--

Judy! You been doing this for eighteen hours!

Would you just go to bed?! I can't. I'm wired.

Well, I'm always wired, but now I'm really wired.

Thanks to Agent Kira, I can't shut down, and I'm bored. Bored.

Hey, that's a funny word.

Bored bored bored bored bored

bored bored bored bored bored bored bored bored--

Kira!

What?! It's your turn, baby.

Go on, you take her.

Are you kidding me?

It's my break. And it's only been five minutes!

You deal with her. No, no, no!

It's all your fault we can't power her down. It's all your fault!

Craig. We cannot turn on each other. That's what she wants!

Okay, I got an idea. Okay.

Hey, how would you like to play the Quiet Game?

Okay!

I lose!

Now let's see who can be the loudest.

La la la la la la la!

La la la! La la-la la!

La la la la-la la!

You fold them over and tack them there

Then tuck them under there

Under where? Undie there!

Clean and freshy underwear

I have good news and bad news. Ooh! Start with the good news.

Well, the first good news is no one heard that underwear song but me.

Oh, and...

turns out Aaron and Spencer had been punking Lorenzo.

I'm positive they were involved in his disappearance.

Good work. So what's the bad news?

They're gonna be punking someone else.

I feel bad for that guy.

Hopefully he's tough enough to take it.

It's Rico Fuentes.

(crying) He's not tough enough to take it!

He's not tough at all! You gotta hide me!

Hide you. (laughs)

Hide you. That's it!

I bet you they punked Lorenzo so bad they're afraid he's gonna talk.

They probably have him stashed somewhere on campus

and we just gotta find him.

Okay, fine.

( sniffing )

Man! Something stinks.

(sniffs) Ooh! It's you!

You smell like an eggroll! Take a shower!

I-I can't! It's a communal bathroom.

Ernie, I may look like a boy,

but I don't look like a boy.

Okay. So, besides stinking up the room,

what exactly is your plan?

Well, on the night of the formal

everyone's gonna be busy dancing,

so I'll just slip out and go look for Lorenzo.

But you can't go to the dance without a date.

And you're not gonna find a date smelling like that.

Well, you better hope that I find a date,

or else you are putting on some sensible heels

and some very restrictive undergarments.

Excuse me, but are you from Tennessee?

Because you're the only "ten" I "see."

My name's Guy.

And I am not interested.

Uh, does your left eye hurt?

Because you... are lookin' right.

And now I am lookin' for an exit.

(whispers) Marisa!

It's me!

KC?!

Wow, that disguise is so real!

Look, I'm on a mission, okay? And I really need your help.

(deep breath) Will you go to a school formal with me?

I don't know, I don't know.

Why don't you ask me again and try...

getting down on one knee?

I like to be wooed.

Marisa, I'm asking you to go with me to a school dance,

not for your hand in marriage.

Well, if you don't see a future,

then there's really no point of going to this dance.

( music, chatter )

Take my hand. I don't want to.

This is my first formal. It's bad enough you didn't get me flowers.

Uh, you didn't get me flowers.

That's because you're the boy.

I'm sick of you taking me for granted.

'Sup. What's up, bro.

Oh, he's cute. Hey! Hey!

Hey, Miss Wandering Eye,

keep your eyes on your man over here.

( ringing )

I'm gettin' a call from Ernie.

KC, you there? What's up, Ernie?

The campus is deserted.

Time to search for Lorenzo.

All right, I'm on it.

Hey look, I gotta go finish my mission.

Uh, excuse me.

I spent three hours getting ready.

You are not going anywhere until I get a dance.

( sighs )

You have to hold me close.

Mmm.

Spin me.

(inhales) Uggh!

You know what? You've got a mission.

And B.O.

Now what?

I know. I know.

Let's play Hide and Seek.

I love that game! Good! Good.

So, you close your eyes and count to a hundred,

and we'll hide.

Kira, I'm too tired--

Craig, do what I tell you.

One,

two, three,

four, five,

six, seven,

eight, nine... ( whispering )

( both whispering )

Shh! Shh shh shh!

Hurry up, let's get out of here! Okay, okay!

Put the key in the ignition!

( both yelling )

Fine!

Found ya!

So, where are we going?

I suggest the zoo.

"Zoo." That's a funny word.

Zzzoooo...

zzzzoooo!

Zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo zoo!

Keep heading down the hall. There's an old boiler room

in the southeast corner of the basement we haven't checked,

and I'm getting a heat signal.

( beep ) A heat signal?

For a boiler room. Shocking.

It appears to be locked.

Well, you are just Mister Information today, aren't you?

( device whirrs, beeps )

(exhales) He's okay.

Hey, Lorenzo.

Hello.

Who are you?

I'm KC. Okay, your dad sent me here to find you,

so you should probably come with me.

Yeah, I'm good. But thanks for stopping by.

Hey, before you leave, could you put the door back on its hinges?

Okay. Clearly you're a little bit confused.

This happens to people who have been held captive.

Ooh! Who's being held captive?

Anyone I know?

You.

Let me just break this down for you, all right?

Spencer locked you in here to punk you,

or to...stop you from talking about being punked?

I haven't really figured it out yet.

Well, then allow me to break it down for you.

Spencer didn't put me in here, I did. I'm hiding from him.

In a boiler room? Why didn't you just tell somebody

that he was giving you a hard time?

And have them give me a harder time?

No, thank you.

Okay, well then why didn't you just talk to your dad?

Hello? He's an ex-spy.

He thinks I should be able to handle myself.

I mean... has he met me?

Look, bro, you cannot

spend the rest of your life in a boiler room.

You need to tell the administration.

It's about time that they knew what was going on.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Besides, it's really starting to smell funky in here, anyway.

Like...(sniffs)...

rotten eggrolls or something.

Just breathe through your mouth. Let's go!

Hey, Spencer. Look at that. I found Lorenzo.

So?

So... the kid was hiding

in a boiler room because of you.

Hey, mind your own business, Guy, or you'll be sorry.

What are you gonna do, Big Spence? You gonna punk me?

( chuckles )

And to think I invited you to look at chunky vomit.

Come on, guys, let's get him. Enough. Spencer, it's over.

You don't have my back, bro? Not anymore.

That punking stuff we did is wrong,

and it's time to man up and admit it.

Hey, whose side are you on?

( laughs )

All right, fine.

Come on, Guy. Just you and me, one on one.

Spencer, if you knew what was good for you, you would just walk away,

because you have no idea who you're dealing with.

Yeah?

You know what, bro?

Ever since I came to this school,

I've been trying to fit in.

You know, be one of the guys, a real man.

And to be honest, it's hard,

because I didn't really know what it took to be a real man.

But now I do.

( grunts, groans )

It took me a while, but thanks to Aaron,

I realized that a real man doesn't have to fit in.

He stands apart.

( clatter )

He stands up for what's right,

even if he's standing alone.

Or flat on his butt.

And that's what it means to be a man.

Taught to you by...

( all gasp )

...a woman.

ALL: Whoa!

Bye, Spence!

My date is a woman?!

Guy Mann is a...girl-lady?

I am shocked!

Shocked.

Hey. What's up?

Oh. Hey...Guy.

Actually, it's KC.

Yeah, that makes more sense.

I almost didn't recognize you.

Yeah, well, I do look a little bit different.

No, actually you smell different.

Well, uh, you wanna hang out? I could get you some fro-yo.

Actually, I have a date tonight.

Hi, Aaron.

Oh, thank you, Aaron!

Look, KC, he gave me flowers.

Marisa, how could you?

You left me alone at the dance,

and you never even called to say you had a nice time.

I had no choice but to pick up the pieces and move on.

Come on, Aaron, let's go.

WOMAN: Rob, your name's on TV!

( boing )

Synced By ~ Kunal~ @KunalStark

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