All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s06e24 Rockets or Romance.eng

( theme song playing )

SCHULTZ:
Let's go, let's go!

Put your backs
into it!

This is not a picnic!

MEN:
All right, all right.

HOGAN:
My men volunteered for this detail.

NEWKIRK:
We didn't have to come out here

and help you fill
your bloody shell holes.

BAKER:
This is the thanks we get.

Yeah, never look
to a Kraut for gratitude.

I think you owe us
an apology, Schultz.

Apology?!

An apology!

If you didn't want to work,
why did you volunteer?

We wanted
to practice with shovels.

In case a bomb
hits the guardhouse,

we want to give you
a decent burial.

Major Heintzen,
headquarters, Berlin.

Have these men change
this tire immediately.

Jawohl, Major.

You heard the major.

Well?

What are you waiting for?

Well, for one thing,
you didn't say "please."

Who are you?

Colonel Hogan.

He's the ranking officer
of the prisoners.

In that case, I suggest

you order your men
to change my tire.

We're just here
to fix the road, sir.

If you are smart,
Colonel, you will change the tire.

If you're smart, Major,
you'll call the auto club.

Sergeant!

Jawohl, Major?

If this tire is not changed
in 30 seconds,

somebody will be shot!

I'll change it.

A prisoner will be shot,
Dummkopf!

Jawohl.

Where do you keep
your jack?

Under the back seat,
Colonel.

Let's do it.

Hey, great,

I haven't changed
a tire in years!

NEWKIRK:
Oh, yeah, bloody marvelous.

Yes, good
practice, too,

in case your hearse
has a flat.

You shouldn't even say it
as a joke, LeBeau.

Let's go.

Three mobile
rocket launchers

have been moved
into the area.

Any idea where?

I know the general
location of two of them.

The third one
has been moved.

You are to find it
and report to London.

You're not going to do
anything, of course, right?

I used to do this.
How about a little help?

I've heard
of easier assignments.

There is a spotting shack
on top of the hill

overlooking Hammelburg.

One of our agents, Frankel,
is there to help you.

Can't the agent handle it alone?

Unfortunately, Frankel does not
know how to operate a wireless.

Swell.

I would do it
myself, Colonel,

but I'm afraid the Gestapo
is following me.

SCHULTZ:
Major, the tire is changed.

Sehr gut, Sergeant,
danke schön.

Carter, you didn't get
the windshield.

I don't appreciate
your sarcasm, Colonel.

It's just part of our service.

Major, look us up
when you need a lube job.

(engine starts)

SCHULTZ:
Come on, LeBeau!

Everybody back to work!

LeBEAU:
Pushy, Schultz.

What did
he say, sir?

There's a rocket
launcher in the area

and we've got
to find it.

Blimey, that's
like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

Yeah.

We got a break.

Here comes
the needle now.

I understand, General.

Huh, certainly, General.

Yes, General.

That was General Freiberg
of the Gestapo.

He said that Hogan's men
changed the flat tire

of a Luftwaffe major.

Actually,
Herr Kommandant, I was the one.

I found the jack,
I jacked up the car,

I unloosened the bolts,
I removed the tire,

and I put on the spare.

That man was
with the underground.

Actually, Herr Kommandant,

LeBeau found the jack,
Carter unloosened the bolts...

Schultz!

Ah, General
Burkhalter,

how very nice
to see you.

A chair for
the general, Schultz.

Klink, I have an important
assignment for you and your men.

And it's top secret.

I hear nothing!

General Burkhalter,
I assure you,

I run an airtight camp.

KLINK ( over speaker ):
Not one word can leak out.

BURKHALTER ( over speaker ):
I hope so-- this is very important.

Three moving
rocket launchers

have been moved
into this area.

What kind of a secret?

There is one parked
right in the middle of the camp.

It's not staying there,
it's where they move it.

That's the secret,
Dummkopf!

No, Klink, it's staying here,
that's the secret, Dummkopf.

It's staying here?

Yes, and tomorrow it will be
fired at England

to coincide
with an all-out blitz

by our illustrious Luftwaffe.

KLINK ( over speaker ):
Marvelous, sir.

And you, Klink,
are in charge of its security.

Uh, we are a little
short-handed right now.

There's not a man
I can spare, sir.

You could spare a man to change
a tire for an underground agent.

You heard about that?

I can explain
that, General.

You can release men
for guard duty

by putting the prisoners to work
in the mess hall.

( chuckles )

They wouldn't like that.

Who cares
what they like?

It's not
that simple, General.

I'm sure that Colonel Hogan
will have something to say

about that
rocket launcher.

I've got
a lot to say.

Klink,
tell this man to leave.

Dismissed,
Hogan.

General
Burkhalter,

according to
the Geneva Convention,

you cannot bring
offensive weapons into a POW camp.

Klink, tell Colonel Hogan
I'm not listening.

Hogan, General
Burkhalter says

he does not wish
to discuss it with you.

Tell General Burkhalter I'm
reporting him to the Red Cross.

General Burkhalter,

Hogan says that
he's reporting you to the Red Cross.

If I'm not discussing
this with Colonel Hogan,

why are you?

I don't know.

Then stop talking to him!

Schultz, tell Colonel Hogan

that I do not wish
to discuss it with him.

Colonel Hogan,
Colonel Klink does not wish

to discuss it
with you.

Tell Colonel Klink

he's going to be
in as much trouble

as General Burkhalter.

Klink,
tell Schultz to tell Hogan

I'm in
no trouble.

Schultz, tell
Colonel Hogan

that General
Burkhalter is in no trouble.

Colonel Hogan,
Colonel Klink says...

They're both going
to be in trouble

if they don't
get rid of that rocket launcher.

Klink, tell
him he can't threaten me!

Schultz, tell
him he can't threaten him.

General
Burkhalter...

This is
my last warning.

I don't
take warnings from prisoners.

Neither do I!

You will
this time.

( all shouting )

Please!

Wait for me.

MAN ( over speaker ):
Headquarters says it's imperative

you assign a man
to the lookout shack

so he can radio the position
of the two rocket launchers

to our bombers.

We read you, Mama Bear.

Ask about the rocket launcher
parked outside our window.

What about
the rocket launcher parked in our camp?

MAMA BEAR ( over speaker ):
You chaps will have to take care of that one yourselves.

Will do, Mama Bear.

MAMA BEAR ( over speaker ):
Good show.

Good show!

Good bloody show.

Don't they realize
this is a suicide mission?

That area
will be loaded

with radio
detector trucks.

He's right,
Colonel.

The first message
from that lookout shack

and the Krauts
will pick it up like that.

Yeah, don't forget,

Klink's in charge
of security operations.

That's the only
break we got.

I'm afraid
that's not enough, Colonel.

There's only one man
for this job.

Me.

Why you?

Because this mission
requires a man

who's resourceful,
courageous and ingenious.

What I said,
"why you?"

Sir, I'll go.

After all, they are
aiming those things

at home, aren't they?

No, I'll take
the assignment, Colonel.

Here, Newkirk,
I want you to have this.

What is it?

My little black book.

If you're ever in Paris,

I'm sure these girls
will show you a good time.

Do me a favor,
I volunteered first.

Here, this is for you.

I'm a very hard act
to follow,

but do the best you can.

Fellows, I'll take
the assignment.

But, Colonel,
it needs someone

who can operate
a wireless.

I can handle it.

But, Colonel,
you can't go.

You're the most important
man we have.

If I went and something
happened to me,

nobody would even
know I was gone.

He's got a point there, sir.

It's too dangerous a mission.

Let's draw lots.

No, no, no.

I'll handle it
myself.

You fellows
will have to figure a way

to get rid
of the rocket launcher here.

Right, Colonel.

All right
then.

Okay.

Newkirk?
What?

Just for fun,
let me see

who we would
have gotten.

Oh, all right.

Hey, this sounds
exciting.

"Blonde, 36, 23,"
hey, marvelous!

So does yours.

BOTH:
"Martine Allegre"?

Papa Bear to Goldilocks,
Papa Bear to Goldilocks.

This is Goldilocks.

Go ahead, Papa Bear.

Arrived safely,
everything seems to be in order.

Roger, Papa Bear.

We'll be standing by.

Roger, over and out.

( footsteps approaching )

Colonel Hogan?

Frankel?

( sighs )

Lily Frankel.

Hey, look, not that
I've got anything

against the smell
of cologne,

but this isn't exactly
a mission for a woman.

Colonel Hogan,
I have faced danger before.

Well, when was
the last time

you were alone
with a man

who has been
a prisoner of war for three years?

Now, that is
what I call danger.

What are you doing?

We've got to get a good look
at that rocket launcher.

Louis, that guard
has a machine gun in his hand.

You mean you're afraid
of a little thing like getting shot?

No, but I just
took another look

at me little
black book,

and I don't have
the right

to ruin the lives

of 127 well-built
English girls.

Come on, let's go.

I don't know how
many names you got in your black book,

but that guard is
going to shoot to kill.

We have a legitimate reason
to talk to Schultz.

Here, take this-- let's go.

Halt.

SCHULTZ:
What are you doing here?

Since we've been ordered
to cook in the mess hall,

we want to know what
the guards would like for dinner.

Ohh!

Advance immediately.

( all talking at once )

LeBEAU:
How about starting your meal with a cold Vichyssoise?

SCHULTZ:
Vichyssoise.

Did you hear it, Schwellbacher?

LeBeau is going to make us
a Vichyssoise.

Isn't that wonderful?

What is it?

Potato soup.

You are so gauche.

Oh, I like potato soup.

And then I thought
we might have a nice Salade Nicoise.

Nicoise?

Well, that's with lettuce,
tomatoes, olives, some tuna.

You'll love it.

Oh.

Couldn't we have
some Sauerbraten?

No-- no substitutions
on the dinner.

It's a shame, you know.

I had me mind
set on tripe and Brussels sprouts.

LeBEAU:
Newkirk.

Now, for dessert
we have a choice:

meringue glacé
or pèche Melba.

Meringue glacé
or pèche Melba!

NEWKIRK:
Whatever happened to the old bread puddings Mum used to make?

Decisions,
decisions...

BURKHALTER:
What are these men doing here?

We are trying
to decide

what kind of dessert
we are going to have.

Dessert?

I can make
a meringue glacé or pèche Melba.

Oh, I vote for pèche Melba.

Klink!

You prefer meringue glacé?

I prefer
a court-martial.

Get these prisoners
away from here, immediately.

GUARD:
Jawohl!

Heraus, raus, raus, raus!

Raus!

( machine gun fire )

And keep these prisoners
away from here.

That is an order.

SCHULTZ:
That's an order.

Psst, LeBeau...

I want meringue glacé.

Thought you
had them spotted.

We did.

They keep moving them.

HOGAN:
Any sign of them yet?

No.

But I wish
they would come.

I would like
to get out of here.

I imagine you're
anxious to get back to your husband, huh?

I'm not married.

Anxious to get home
to your boyfriend, then.

In this business
I find it is better

not to make close attachments.

That's why I'm single.

There's no one sitting under
the apple tree waiting for me.

Now that we have that
out of the way, we can relax.

Care for some wine?

Thank you.

If we don't spot those rockets,
we could be here for days.

We can't be here
too long.

We haven't much food.

I'd risk malnutrition
for you.

But you do not
even know me.

Well, look at it
this way.

Anybody that works
for the underground

and has legs like yours
can't be all bad.

This mission has turned out
very nice for me as well.

Now, if the Krauts
will only cooperate,

we can get to know
each other better.

I wouldn't mind that a bit.

( tapping )

Somebody is sending you
a message.

I'm sending you
a message.

( tapping continues )

I think I've got
your message.

Bombers have taken off.

They want the location
of the rocket launchers.

We'd better have
another look.

( Hogan tapping out reply )

HOGAN:
Any sign yet?

No.

Yeah, the bombers won't be here
for a while yet.

Still no rockets, Colonel.

I alerted them to have
an alternate target ready

just in case.

That was
a very good... idea.

I've got
a lot of good ideas.

I am sure you have.

Goldilocks calling
Papa Bear.

Who is Papa Bear?

( over radio ):
Come in, Papa Bear.

Me.

I thought you were
the Big Bad Wolf.

( over radio ):
Do you read me, Papa Bear?

This is Papa Bear,
go ahead, Goldilocks.

The rocket in camp
is heavily guarded-- we can't get near it.

HOGAN:
There must be a way.

Only if we toss
a grenade at it.

That would blow
the entire operation.

BAKER:
Any suggestions?

HOGAN:
Give me time to think about it.

We'll stand by.

Oh, and Goldilocks--

would you mind
leaving your mike open

and playing some
André Kostelanetz records?

( sighs )

Now,
where were we?

There must be a way.

The first thing
we've got to do

is stop all these
interruptions.

The gyroscope.

What are you
talking about?

The rockets are controlled
by gyroscopes.

You want to talk about
gyroscopes at a time like this?

If they could alter
the gyroscope,

it would throw the rocket
off its course.

That's it.

Electromagnet would do it.

If it was close enough.

Next time I hope they
send me a dumb blonde.

Papa Bear calling Goldilocks,
Papa Bear calling Goldilocks.

This is Goldilocks.

I haven't found
any Kostelanetz records.

Would Mantovani do?

Never mind that now.

My partner has come up
with a great idea.

Hold on, be right back.

( tapping )

( clicking )

I've picked up
the underground transmitter.

Go north!

( phone rings )

Yes, who is it?

Oh, put him on.

It's General Freiberger
of the Gestapo.

Yes, Herr Freiberger?

Yes?

Yes, sir.

Yes, I shall tell him
immediately.

Thank you, General Freiberger.

One of the radio
detector units

has picked up a wireless
sending coded messages.

It must be the underground.

That is exactly what
I was going to say.

They must be sending out

the location of
our rocket launchers.

Exactly what I was
going to say, sir.

Order your men
to search the area.

If they see anybody
suspicious, shoot them.

That is exactly what
I was going to say, General.

Klink,
stop agreeing with me.

You are undermining
my confidence.

Hey, listen, you guys...

Yeah, Colonel Hogan has a plan

to take care of
the rocket launchers.

Here's what he
wants us to do.

Carter and LeBeau will
have to take care of it.

You come with me, Baker.

W-Where are
we going?

A little decoy work,
chum.

It's the rocket launcher
coming up the road.

HOGAN:
Good.

Wait, there's two of them.

HOGAN:
What road is that?

FRANKEL:
Flensheim.

Approximately three miles
southeast of Hammelburg

and heading for the river.

( taps out message )

( clicking )

Colonel Hogan,
there's a radio detector truck

coming from the other direction.

I'm afraid there's nothing
we can do about that now.

The bombers are on the way.

Halt!
Back, back, back, back.

I know you're
on duty, Schultz,

so I thought I'd come out
and cook dinner for you.

You are going to cook
a dinner just for me, Cockroach?

That's what he's
going to cook you for dinner.

I couldn't find a chicken,

so I'm going
to broil you both

a nice steak with
a little sauce béarnaise.

Oh.

I have this always with me.

You never know when
you run into a free meal.

Hey,
what are you doing?

Connecting the stove.

Here, Schultz.

Here's the salt,
here's the pepper.

Here are some herbs.

And there's
the sauce béarnaise.

Now, Schultz, how do
you want your steak?

Uh, well done, danke.

Figures.

Schwellbacher, come over here.

I show you-- here, you see?

This is
what they call sauce béarnaise.

SCHULTZ:
Ah, this is wonderful.

( loud clang )

( begins tapping Morse code )

FRANKEL:
The radio truck has stopped.

It's backing up.

HOGAN:
Yeah, I wonder why.

Yeah, they seem to be
heading into the woods.

( tapping )

The wireless is in this area.

Stop!

( tapping continues loudly )

GUARD:
Over there.

( shooting )

( planes droning,
bombs whistling )

Look at that, Colonel.

Isn't that
a beautiful sight?

HOGAN:
A direct hit.

Oh, nice shooting.

Oh, you did
a wonderful job.

Your directions
were perfect.

Well, I couldn't have
done it without you.

It's nice, is it not,
when the mission is accomplished?

Well, we really haven't
accomplished everything.

What else is there?

Colonel Hogan?

Are we glad
to see you!

Our timing was
perfect, sir.

Let me be
the judge of that.

SCHULTZ:
All right, everybody, back to the barracks--

back, back, back, back--
mach schnell.

Schnell!

HOGAN:
Uh, Colonel?

I'd like to register
another protest...

I'm not interested
in your protest, Hogan.

Neither am I.

Yesterday two of our rockets
pointed at England

were bombed by
your barbarian air force.

They're liable to bomb this camp
if you don't move that rocket.

I am not afraid.

That's because you live
off the base.

I personally am going
to pull the switch

to send this rocket to England.

General
Burkhalter.

KLINK:
Would you allow me the honor?

BURKHALTER:
Of course, Klink.

KLINK:
Thank you.

( rocket fires )

Klink--
England is that way.

General Burkhalter, I can't
understand what happened.

What's that way?

My house,
for one thing.

Frankly, General,
I thought it was

a lousy neighborhood,
anyway.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0