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1
00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:17,768
( theme song playing )
2
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,468
Right now, there are at least
a dozen holes in the roof.
3
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,178
You've been promising
to fix it for months.
4
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,638
Colonel?
5
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:55,973
Mm-hmm.
6
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,474
Colonel.
7
00:00:57,516 --> 00:00:58,809
What are you doing?
8
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,644
I was asking
about a new roof.
9
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:03,146
I'll look into it.
Dismissed.
10
00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:05,273
Hey...
11
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,818
I didn't know
you went in for astrology.
12
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:09,987
I've heard Hitler's
a big believer.
13
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,990
Mm-hmm, and Goering
and Himmler.
14
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,324
And now Klink.
15
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,576
Germany's men
of destiny. Hmm.
16
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:18,245
You all take
from the same fellow, sir?
17
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,497
Oh, Hogan...
Be cheaper; you get a group rate.
18
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:23,458
Hey, form a carpool,
too, save on gas.
19
00:01:23,542 --> 00:01:26,503
Colonel Hogan,
I will not stand
20
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,588
for any of your
insubordination.
21
00:01:30,716 --> 00:01:32,843
And stop looking
at my chart!
22
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,177
I didn't mean to pry, sir.
23
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,471
I was just trying to see
if there are any roof repairs
24
00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:37,264
in your future.
25
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,557
Out!
26
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:41,727
Very cranky.
27
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:44,020
And his horoscope
said he was going to have a good week.
28
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,273
Well, he takes that
very seriously.
29
00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:48,608
Every night, he goes
to his astrologer.
30
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:51,778
He told him that he might
be promoted to general.
31
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,613
Klink a general?
32
00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:55,949
Sure, and then
there's the one about the three bears.
33
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,659
Oh, Colonel Klink
really believes
34
00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,661
in astrologers
and fortune-tellers.
35
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:02,164
He said that some people
are gifted,
36
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:03,623
that they have
a sixth sense.
37
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:04,958
Yeah, I know
how he feels.
38
00:02:05,041 --> 00:02:06,835
I used to be that way
about fortune cookies,
39
00:02:06,877 --> 00:02:08,628
right up till my
fourth birthday.
40
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:10,547
( door opens, closes )
41
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:15,218
( door opens,closes )
42
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:25,145
Captain Gruber,
third engineers.
43
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:27,147
Sergeant Shriner,
my aide.
44
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,482
Welcome to Stalag 13.
45
00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:29,983
Well, gentlemen...
46
00:02:30,066 --> 00:02:32,027
Hogan...
Huh?
47
00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,695
This is a
restricted area.
48
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:35,030
I'm sorry, Colonel.
New men.
49
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:36,990
Just trying to be friendly.
Hi. Colonel Hogan.
50
00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:38,658
Hogan!
Sorry, sir.
51
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,911
Colonel Hogan. Hi.
( grunts )
52
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,583
What's inside the
half-track, Colonel?
53
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,543
I wonder why
they're covering it up.
54
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:50,462
Must be something
real special.
55
00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:51,755
Yeah, we'd better
check it out.
56
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:52,923
How?
57
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:54,591
I thought of the idea.
58
00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:57,093
Was hoping you guys have
the answer.
59
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,275
Hike!
60
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,110
( yelling )
61
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:18,156
Get up!
62
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,116
All right, here we go,
here we go, fellas.
63
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,118
All right, Carter,
we'll keep Schultz busy.
64
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,287
Get underneath that tarp
and find out what you can.
65
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,289
Work fast. Here we go.
66
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,627
Hike! Hike!
67
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:33,713
( yelling )
68
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,133
HOGAN:
Hey, Schultz!
69
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:38,176
NEWKIRK:
Hey.
70
00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:39,344
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, Schultz.
71
00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:40,345
Yeah.
How you doing
72
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:41,596
with the new
barmaid in town?
73
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,014
Oh, Colonel Hogan,
74
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,267
that woman is a hunk
of wiener schnitzel,
75
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,102
but she's running around
with a corporal.
76
00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:49,771
He has a few medals,
and she is impressed.
77
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,816
Eh, choco...
No, no, no, no, not when I'm on duty.
78
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,443
Oh, Colonel Hogan,
you should see that woman.
79
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,446
Oh, I would give a month's pay
just for one date,
80
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:01,866
but... she loves heroes.
81
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:04,160
Mm.
SCHULTZ: American chocolate?
82
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,203
Mm.
83
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,831
Maybe one little bite.
84
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:12,794
Colonel Hogan,
your football looks like fun.
85
00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:14,462
And that little Carter...
86
00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,672
(laughs)
87
00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:19,384
You should see him run--
he was flying by me...
88
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,011
Where's Carter?
89
00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:22,804
Well, he's looking
for the ball, Schultz.
90
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,639
Schultz?
( Schultz muttering )
91
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,599
Go get him.
92
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:36,818
Colonel Hogan?
93
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,486
Yeah?
What is that?
94
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:39,988
Yeah, well,
it must be the wind.
95
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,489
Very lumpy wind.
96
00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:43,658
Yeah. Oh, come on,
you're getting jumpy, Schultz.
97
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,118
That is the wind.
98
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:47,787
Perhaps the half-track
is haunted, huh?
99
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:48,788
Could be.
100
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:49,914
( chuckles ):
"Could be."
101
00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,624
Here, hold this.
102
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:05,054
Carter! Carter!
103
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,767
Carter?
104
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,935
Carter?
105
00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:11,936
What?
106
00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,397
Come ou...
107
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:15,565
How could it be?
108
00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:16,775
( chuckles )
He went...
109
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,319
Uh, yeah, I think
it is haunted, Schultz.
110
00:05:19,402 --> 00:05:21,279
Okay, fellas,
back to the football game.
111
00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:22,614
Bye, Schultz.
See you, Schultz.
112
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:23,907
Schultz.
113
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:27,952
HOGAN:
See anything?
114
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:29,746
Well, there's some sort
of antenna on the top,
115
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,581
and the control panel's
in the side hatch.
116
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:32,791
It looks awfully
complicated.
117
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,167
Could you describe it
to London?
118
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,127
Yeah, it's got a lot
of dials and switches.
119
00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,629
What kind of dials
and switches?
120
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,130
I don't know,
dials and switches.
121
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,965
You know, you see one,
you've seen 'em all?
122
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,133
Well, what'd it say
on 'em?
123
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:43,927
Some German words
and things.
124
00:05:43,968 --> 00:05:45,261
You know, you're a bloody
125
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,763
fountain of information,
you are.
126
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:48,598
Well, I couldn't
remember everything.
127
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:50,266
Nobody could; there's
too many dials.
128
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:51,601
You-you could
sit out there
129
00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:53,269
for hours making
diagrams.
130
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,021
We won't have to--
LeBeau, get your camera.
131
00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:56,272
Take pictures?
132
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,274
Schultz is not going
to let us go near that...
133
00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,902
Yes, he will,
if we ask him nicely.
134
00:06:00,944 --> 00:06:04,113
Mush, mush.
135
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:05,782
You want to take
a picture of me?
136
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,617
Uh-huh.
Oh, gosh.
137
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:10,954
Wait a minute.
No cameras allowed in camp.
138
00:06:10,995 --> 00:06:13,122
You sold it to
us, Schultz.
139
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,791
The silk stockings,
remember?
140
00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:15,875
What do you
say, Schultz?
141
00:06:15,959 --> 00:06:17,293
Yeah, come on,
we want to have it
142
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:18,795
to show to our kids
someday.
143
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:22,799
Ah. Um, how 'bout,
uh, this?
144
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,301
Not very artistic.
What do you think, fellas?
145
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:25,468
Nah.
No.
146
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:28,721
No, sir, it's too
ordinary, isn't it?
147
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:32,767
Wait a minute.
How 'bout, uh, this?
148
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,352
It's not quite right, Schultz.
149
00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:35,645
What we need is a picture
150
00:06:35,687 --> 00:06:37,855
that captures the carefree,
devil-may-care look.
151
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,237
Yeah, but yet enables one
to sense
152
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,323
that underneath is
Sergeant Schultz, super-soldier.
153
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,412
You know what it is, sir?
It's the setting.
154
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:53,746
It's too mundane.
155
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,499
What if he was
in the half-track?
156
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,542
In the half-track.
157
00:06:57,625 --> 00:06:59,002
Yeah, it'd look
like an action shot.
158
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,461
( men clamoring )
No, no, wait a minute!
159
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,630
Hold it, hold it,
Colonel Hogan, no, no, no, no, no!
160
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:03,923
Please, Colonel Hogan!
161
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,925
Colonel Hogan, no,
no, no, no, no!
162
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,593
This is top secret!
163
00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:08,845
That's even better,
Schultz.
164
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,680
What could be better
than Sergeant Schultz
165
00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,724
in front of Germany's
newest secret weapon, huh?
166
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:15,351
( men agree )
Boy, that'd really impress that little barmaid.
167
00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:18,438
NEWKIRK:
More than any medal.
168
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,273
All right.
Make it fast.
169
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:22,275
It'll only
take a second.
170
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:25,069
Okay, okay, keep
your face this way.
171
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:26,195
Up, up.
172
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,614
Oh, how can one
man have so much?
173
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,492
NEWKIRK:
Okay. Good.
174
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:34,037
Look at the birdie.
Look at the birdie. This-this-this profile is...
175
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,497
No, no, no, no,
no, please, please.
176
00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,957
Oh, that profile's
177
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:39,375
dynamite!
178
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:40,376
( camera clicks )
179
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:41,544
NEWKIRK:
Beautiful.
180
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,296
One more, buddy,
and we'll be done.
181
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:44,797
Oh, boy.
182
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:48,593
Oh, that barmaid will crumble!
183
00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:49,886
( men laughing )
184
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,722
Oh, I can hardly wait
to see those pictures.
185
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,308
Neither can I, Schultz,
neither can I.
186
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:06,235
( thunder rumbling )
187
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,785
Another leak,
and right over my bed.
188
00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,745
Why don't you complain
to the management?
189
00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,080
Give them
an ultimatum.
190
00:08:17,121 --> 00:08:18,581
Get the bellboys,
get your bags,
191
00:08:18,623 --> 00:08:20,416
and tell him
you're checking out.
192
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,585
I'm tired of waiting for Klink.
193
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,921
I'll fix
the rotten holes myself.
194
00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:28,216
( tapping )
195
00:08:36,808 --> 00:08:37,934
BAKER:
Colonel?
196
00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:39,268
Yeah?
197
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:41,437
Photographs did the job,
and London's cracking.
198
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:41,687
Good.
199
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:45,525
Germany's got something
new in that half-track:
200
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,984
a magnetic deviator.
201
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,194
It's used to throw off
202
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:50,530
the aiming mechanism
on our radar.
203
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,198
They want us
to destroy it?
204
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:55,368
They want us to
send it to them.
205
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:58,538
Is that all? Ha!
206
00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,373
If they can look one over,
207
00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:02,708
they'll be able
to figure a way to neutralize it.
208
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:04,377
How are we supposed
to get it?
209
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:06,712
Carry it across the compound
right out in the open?
210
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,548
That's suicide,
Colonel.
211
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:10,383
Klink's off to see
his astrologer,
212
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:13,261
while I have to go
and fix the roof.
213
00:09:13,302 --> 00:09:16,556
Tomorrow, we may be dead,
but at least we'll be dry.
214
00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:21,143
Colonel, what are
we going to do?
215
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,562
HOGAN:
We got to figure a way
216
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:25,565
to get that gadget
out of the half-track.
217
00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:30,486
Thank you, Carter.
218
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,321
I needed that.
219
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:36,826
( thunder rumbling )
220
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:40,746
( thudding outside )
It's LeBeau!
221
00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:43,749
BAKER:
Are you okay?
222
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:45,293
Did you see that bolt
of lightning?
223
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:47,295
Missed me by that much.
224
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:49,755
You sure you're
all right, Louis?
225
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,924
Yes, but if it came
an inch closer,
226
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,010
I would have my ears pierced--
the hard way.
227
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:55,261
That bloody Klink.
228
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,263
He should be here
seeing our roof being fixed
229
00:09:57,346 --> 00:10:00,182
instead of fleeing off
having his flaming fortune told.
230
00:10:00,224 --> 00:10:01,434
Bleeding idiot.
231
00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,936
I'd like to tell
his bloody fortune for him.
232
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,938
You just might be able
to do that.
233
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:08,607
Huh?
Tell his fortune for him.
234
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,443
LeBeau, I think
that lightning did hit you.
235
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,111
But it didn't.
It missed me by that...
236
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,446
It hit you!
237
00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:15,614
The lightning hit you,
LeBeau,
238
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:18,200
and a strange thing
has happened.
239
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,954
Your Basque blood
has mysteriously awakened.
240
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,539
You're now psychic.
241
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:26,417
Boy.
242
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:30,838
A gypsy who sees all:
past, present and future.
243
00:10:31,088 --> 00:10:32,465
What are you talking about?
244
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:35,092
Klink believes
in fortune-tellers.
245
00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,636
You're going to win
his complete confidence.
246
00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:40,348
I don't get it.
247
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:42,641
We've got to get Klink
to move his guards
248
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,227
so we can get that gadget
out of the half-track, right?
249
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:49,732
Now, if Klink believes our
little gypsy knows everything,
250
00:10:49,815 --> 00:10:52,610
he'll do whatever
our little gypsy tells him.
251
00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:55,613
And our little gypsy's
going to tell him to move the guard.
252
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,740
Uh-huh.
Well, one problem, Colonel:
253
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,076
how do I make him believe
I know everything?
254
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,079
But you will know
everything.
255
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,555
Let's see
what we have here.
256
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:29,146
Application for
a furlough here.
257
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,606
Letter
from his mother.
258
00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,733
Another one from his mother,
and another one.
259
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,735
"Dearest Wilhelm,
how are you?
260
00:11:34,777 --> 00:11:36,779
"My back is giving me
a little trouble,
261
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:40,783
"and your brother Wolfgang
is out of work again.
262
00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:42,451
"In fact,
so's the whole factory.
263
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,411
"They think
they were hit by bombs,
264
00:11:44,453 --> 00:11:48,374
"but your brother was mixing
chemicals in the cellar.
265
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,584
Hope to hear from you soon.
Love, Mom."
266
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:51,877
Army directives.
267
00:11:59,009 --> 00:12:00,719
The lost cigars are here.
268
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,137
Right.
269
00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:04,765
See how easy it is
to be psychic?
270
00:12:04,807 --> 00:12:07,935
Tomorrow, we start
Operation Gypsy.
271
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:18,988
Vier, funf, sechs,sieben, acht, neun, zehn.
272
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:20,865
Uh...
273
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:32,001
KLINK:
Report!
274
00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,587
Report!
275
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:35,838
Schultz.
276
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:37,464
Yeah, yeah.
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.
277
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:38,632
What's going
on here?
278
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:39,883
Sorry, Herr Kommandant.
279
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:41,802
All present
and accounted for.
280
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:43,470
Then what's
the difficult...?
281
00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:45,514
There's no difficulty.
282
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,187
Hogan, would you please
tell Rudolf Valentino here
283
00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:53,355
he's out of uniform?
284
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:54,523
Crazy thing, Colonel.
285
00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:56,233
He's been that way
ever since last night.
286
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,694
He was up fixing the roof,
got hit by a bolt of lightning.
287
00:12:58,777 --> 00:13:00,029
Lightning?
288
00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:01,655
Seems to have stirred
something in him.
289
00:13:01,697 --> 00:13:02,948
He's Basque, you know.
290
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,075
Great-grandfather was
a full-blooded gypsy.
291
00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:05,200
He seems to have reverted.
292
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,621
And he thinks
he's a gypsy?
293
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,539
( laughs )
Isn't that something?
294
00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:12,207
And not just
your average, everyday gypsy.
295
00:13:12,291 --> 00:13:14,793
He thinks
he's psychic.
296
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:16,879
NEWKIRK:
Uh, sir, there might be something to it.
297
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,340
After all, he did tell me where
to find me ring, didn't he?
298
00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,342
We lost it
about three months ago, sir.
299
00:13:21,383 --> 00:13:23,594
We tore the camp upside down
looking for it.
300
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:25,137
I forgot all about it.
301
00:13:25,220 --> 00:13:27,264
And then, last night, voilà,
LeBeau says,
302
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:30,934
"Look behind the tool shed,"
he said, and sure enough.
303
00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:33,354
Hmm. It's meaningless--
he could have put it there.
304
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:34,605
Exactly what I said.
305
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,939
How's your
mother's back?
306
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:37,191
Not too good.
307
00:13:37,232 --> 00:13:39,360
Now, Newkirk, to
be truly psyc...
308
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:40,861
What did you say?
309
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,072
I was asking
about your mother's back.
310
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,323
My mother?
You know...
311
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,450
She's depressed,
but she'll feel better
312
00:13:46,533 --> 00:13:48,243
when your brother
gets another job.
313
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:51,080
My brother?
You know about him?
314
00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:52,247
He's raving again, sir.
315
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:53,957
He's been doing that
ever since...
316
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:56,126
And your visit home next month
will cheer her up.
317
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,252
That's
incredible, Hogan.
318
00:13:57,294 --> 00:13:58,712
He knows about
my furlough,
319
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,339
and I haven't
even filed a request yet.
320
00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:01,507
Come on, Colonel.
321
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:03,258
You're not gonna pay
any attention to that.
322
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,927
No, no, no, no, there's
something to this.
323
00:14:04,968 --> 00:14:07,054
He knows about
my brother, my mother,
324
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,473
and a furlough
I was just thinking about.
325
00:14:09,556 --> 00:14:10,766
How do you
explain that?
326
00:14:10,849 --> 00:14:12,017
Lucky guess.
327
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:13,268
No, no,
no, Hogan.
328
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,354
This man is
something special.
329
00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,815
Thank you,
General Klink.
330
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,608
Now, Hogan,
let me...
331
00:14:22,277 --> 00:14:24,279
"General
Klink?"
332
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:27,991
You did say
"General Klink," huh?
333
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:29,952
Ah, LeBeau, please
come in, come in.
334
00:14:29,993 --> 00:14:31,245
Make yourself at home.
335
00:14:31,286 --> 00:14:32,454
Sit down.
336
00:14:32,496 --> 00:14:33,622
Can I get you anything?
337
00:14:33,705 --> 00:14:34,790
Uh, some brandy, huh?
338
00:14:34,873 --> 00:14:35,958
No.
339
00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:36,125
How about a cigar, huh?
340
00:14:37,292 --> 00:14:39,128
Behind the
filing cabinet.
341
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,515
Incredible.
342
00:14:51,598 --> 00:14:52,683
Oh, come on, Colonel.
343
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:54,017
He could have put 'em there.
344
00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:56,061
No, Hogan, I was
watching him all the time.
345
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,354
I still think he's faking.
346
00:14:57,437 --> 00:14:59,815
LeBeau, just
a minute ago, out there,
347
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,441
you called me a general.
348
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,152
I'm only a colonel.
349
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,195
I must tune into
your wavelength.
350
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,406
( soft groan )
351
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:10,409
Klink... Klink...
352
00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:10,617
Klink.
353
00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:15,747
I'm in the future.
354
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:16,999
You are a general.
355
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:20,127
I see it clearly.
356
00:15:20,168 --> 00:15:22,170
Berlin.
357
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,839
Hitler himself
promotes you.
358
00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:25,716
Hmm. Exactly what
my astrologer said.
359
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,843
I'm at your
promotion ceremony.
360
00:15:27,885 --> 00:15:30,387
Your brother
is there...
361
00:15:30,470 --> 00:15:31,513
still not working.
362
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:31,680
Well, it wasn't his fault.
363
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:34,016
You see, the bombers were...
364
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,351
Hitler is saying,
"You are a hero."
365
00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:38,812
You saved a
secret weapon,
366
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,356
something from
this very camp.
367
00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:44,610
A magnetic...
368
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:47,195
D... E...
369
00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:49,573
V-V...
370
00:15:49,656 --> 00:15:51,617
Deviator.
371
00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:52,868
He knows about that?
372
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,286
Unbelievable.
373
00:15:54,369 --> 00:15:55,495
There is something to this.
374
00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:56,705
I'm getting static.
375
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,206
Oh, I'm
sorry. Wait.
376
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,208
I'm on your mother's wavelength.
377
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,919
( whispering ):
Any messages, sir?
378
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:05,297
LeBeau--
the magnetic deviator--
379
00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:06,965
how do I save it?
380
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,634
The Allies know about it.
381
00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:10,218
They are sending a
group of commandos
382
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,429
to capture it,
383
00:16:12,512 --> 00:16:14,389
but you've set
a trap for them.
384
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:15,682
A trap?
385
00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:16,850
How? Where?
386
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,018
Come on, Commandant.
387
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,478
You're taking unfair advantage.
388
00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:21,688
This is illegal,
using a gypsy in time of war,
389
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,023
and against his own side yet.
390
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,983
Quiet, Hogan.
391
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,402
This man has got to come out
of his trance. Now, wake him up.
392
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,862
Hogan, out!
That's an order.
393
00:16:28,904 --> 00:16:30,572
Okay. Okay.
394
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:32,157
But I'm gonna
report this.
395
00:16:34,034 --> 00:16:36,578
There's got to be something
in the Geneva Convention
396
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:37,412
about a big-mouth gypsy.
397
00:16:38,955 --> 00:16:42,084
Now, LeBeau,
you tell me...
398
00:16:42,125 --> 00:16:45,629
the commandos--
when are they coming?
399
00:16:45,712 --> 00:16:47,172
Very soon.
400
00:16:47,255 --> 00:16:48,507
It's tonight.
401
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,884
They will attack
at the front gate,
402
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:51,885
but it will fail
403
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:54,304
because of a Klink
master stroke.
404
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:56,306
You've ordered
every man
405
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,141
in the camp to
the front gate.
406
00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,185
Every man?
407
00:17:00,268 --> 00:17:01,520
The front gate?
408
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:02,938
Everyone?
409
00:17:02,979 --> 00:17:04,940
You will need them
all to spring a trap
410
00:17:04,981 --> 00:17:07,067
and save the
magnetic deviator.
411
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,902
And leave the rest
of the camp unguarded?
412
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,445
There will be
no escapes.
413
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,322
You have the
prisoners cowed.
414
00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,408
True, true.
415
00:17:14,449 --> 00:17:15,784
But that's risky. Oh.
416
00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:18,036
As Hitler will
later say,
417
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,831
"Only a great hero
would dare try it,"
418
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,457
and in years to come,
419
00:17:22,499 --> 00:17:24,376
this maneuver
will be known
420
00:17:24,459 --> 00:17:25,961
in military parlance
421
00:17:26,002 --> 00:17:27,838
as the "Klink
Dipsy Doodle."
422
00:17:27,921 --> 00:17:28,088
Hmm.
423
00:17:31,299 --> 00:17:33,135
The "Klink Dipsy Doodle."
424
00:17:40,767 --> 00:17:42,102
Lovely night
for a battle.
425
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,271
They're ready
for anything.
426
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,028
Hello, Phantom.
This is Papa Bear.
427
00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:53,196
Are you ready? Over.
428
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,364
Hello, Papa Bear?
429
00:17:54,447 --> 00:17:55,615
This is Phantom.
430
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:57,492
All set. Awaiting orders.
431
00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,994
All set, Colonel.
432
00:17:59,035 --> 00:18:00,912
Well, let's wait
a few minutes.
433
00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:02,956
Give it a chance
to get darker.
434
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:06,251
It's getting late,
Herr Kommandant.
435
00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:09,171
Perhaps the commandos
are not coming.
436
00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:11,840
They will be here.
437
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,217
I just hope nothing
has happened to them.
438
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,094
All right, you know
what you have to do.
439
00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,805
Disconnect the magnetic deviator
and bring it back here.
440
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:19,973
Mm-hmm.
441
00:18:20,015 --> 00:18:21,641
But leave the nitro
in the half-track.
442
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,435
Okay. Kill the lights.
443
00:18:23,518 --> 00:18:24,436
Let's go.
444
00:18:28,815 --> 00:18:30,442
Good luck.
445
00:18:38,033 --> 00:18:39,159
They've made it.
446
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,327
Let's get the
war started.
447
00:18:40,368 --> 00:18:41,536
Right.
448
00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:42,996
Hello, Phantom,
this is Papa Bear.
449
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,247
Commence firing.
450
00:18:44,331 --> 00:18:46,207
Will do, sir.
451
00:18:53,381 --> 00:18:55,300
( hissing )
452
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:03,224
( screeching and popping )
453
00:19:04,559 --> 00:19:06,019
KLINK:
They're here.
454
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,229
Schultz, give the order
to commence firing.
455
00:19:08,271 --> 00:19:10,398
( screeching and popping )
456
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,525
Schultz, get up!
457
00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:13,985
Jawohl, HerrKommandant.
458
00:19:16,863 --> 00:19:18,531
Commence firing!
459
00:19:18,573 --> 00:19:22,077
( gunfire )
460
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,870
( whistling )
461
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:26,373
( gunfire, whistling,and popping continue )
462
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:30,251
( high-pitched whirring )
463
00:19:30,293 --> 00:19:33,380
( gunfire )
464
00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:37,384
Hello, Papa Bear?
465
00:19:37,425 --> 00:19:39,094
This is Phantom. Over.
466
00:19:39,135 --> 00:19:40,428
How's it going? Over.
467
00:19:40,470 --> 00:19:41,930
Bloody marvelous.
You never told me
468
00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:43,431
they were gonna fire back at me.
469
00:19:43,473 --> 00:19:45,433
Klink is anxious
for that promotion,
470
00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:46,643
but you can hold out.
471
00:19:46,726 --> 00:19:47,811
You're joking.
472
00:19:47,894 --> 00:19:49,270
Errol Flynn would have trouble.
473
00:19:49,312 --> 00:19:50,980
I got three pittance
of fireworks here.
474
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:53,233
They got an armory full
of live ammunition.
475
00:19:53,274 --> 00:19:55,819
You can take
off the minute the boys get back.
476
00:19:55,902 --> 00:19:58,488
One more thing:
keep your head down.
477
00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:02,617
Roger.
478
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:06,371
( gunfire and screeching
continues )
479
00:20:11,459 --> 00:20:14,003
Schultz, tell the men
to prepare to attack.
480
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:15,672
Attack?
481
00:20:15,755 --> 00:20:17,632
You mean to go
out there?
482
00:20:17,715 --> 00:20:19,175
I will lead you.
483
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:20,844
Herr Kommandant,
484
00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:22,637
perhaps it would
be much better
485
00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,681
if you go out
there alone.
486
00:20:24,764 --> 00:20:26,599
After all, you
are the colonel,
487
00:20:26,641 --> 00:20:28,143
and it would
mean much more
488
00:20:28,226 --> 00:20:30,603
if you give the
order to attack.
489
00:20:30,645 --> 00:20:32,689
Schultz, there's nothing
to fear.
490
00:20:32,939 --> 00:20:34,065
I know.
491
00:20:34,149 --> 00:20:36,443
My gypsy told me.
492
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:38,653
Cease fire!
493
00:20:38,736 --> 00:20:42,323
All right, men, follow me!
494
00:20:42,365 --> 00:20:44,033
( screeching and popping )
495
00:20:54,919 --> 00:20:57,505
( screeching and poppingcontinues )
496
00:21:07,223 --> 00:21:09,017
They're on their way.
497
00:21:09,100 --> 00:21:11,019
So are the bleeding Germans.
498
00:21:11,060 --> 00:21:12,645
You've got to
hold them off
499
00:21:12,687 --> 00:21:13,688
just a little longer.
500
00:21:19,652 --> 00:21:21,696
( hissing )
501
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,200
( explosion )
502
00:21:25,241 --> 00:21:27,035
Duck, Herr
Kommandant!
503
00:21:28,536 --> 00:21:29,704
Schultz!
504
00:21:29,746 --> 00:21:31,122
He's not here.
505
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:33,208
Schultz, I'm ordering you
to advance.
506
00:21:33,291 --> 00:21:35,460
Herr Kommandant,
507
00:21:35,543 --> 00:21:38,630
may I first talk with my gypsy?
508
00:21:38,713 --> 00:21:41,382
If you can find one
at the Russian front.
509
00:21:42,717 --> 00:21:44,802
Forward!
510
00:21:49,724 --> 00:21:51,392
Keep going.
511
00:21:52,977 --> 00:21:54,896
Tell Newkirk to get out.
512
00:21:54,979 --> 00:21:56,105
Hello, Phantom.
513
00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:57,523
Take off.
514
00:21:57,565 --> 00:21:58,858
I thought you'd never ask.
515
00:22:04,572 --> 00:22:05,740
They've gone.
516
00:22:05,782 --> 00:22:07,575
They didn't even
stay and fight!
517
00:22:07,617 --> 00:22:09,661
Somebody up there likes us!
518
00:22:09,744 --> 00:22:12,580
It's a rout!
It's a rout!
519
00:22:12,622 --> 00:22:14,916
Oh, I can't wait
to report this to headquarters.
520
00:22:14,958 --> 00:22:17,085
Wait until General
Burkhalter hears
521
00:22:17,168 --> 00:22:19,879
about the Klink
Dipsy Doodle!
522
00:22:28,429 --> 00:22:30,056
You sure you set the explosives?
523
00:22:30,098 --> 00:22:31,432
It should go off
any minute.
524
00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,226
KLINK:
Hogan!
525
00:22:33,601 --> 00:22:35,019
Your commandos have failed.
526
00:22:35,103 --> 00:22:37,605
The half-track is still here,
and my promotion is assured,
527
00:22:37,647 --> 00:22:40,274
thanks to my
little friend... Shh.
528
00:22:40,316 --> 00:22:42,276
I see a cloud
on the Klink horizon.
529
00:22:42,318 --> 00:22:44,529
It's a plane,
an English plane,
530
00:22:44,612 --> 00:22:45,697
a bomber.
531
00:22:45,780 --> 00:22:46,864
It's headed this way.
532
00:22:46,948 --> 00:22:48,032
It's right here.
533
00:22:48,116 --> 00:22:49,242
Well, I don't
hear any...
534
00:22:49,283 --> 00:22:50,618
No! It's dropping a bomb.
535
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:51,869
Hit the deck!
536
00:22:51,953 --> 00:22:55,498
( loud explosions )
537
00:22:59,210 --> 00:23:00,628
Oh, my sympathies, Colonel.
538
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:02,630
I think your promotion
just went up in smoke.
539
00:23:09,637 --> 00:23:11,389
But I don't
understand it, Hogan.
540
00:23:11,472 --> 00:23:13,266
The gypsy didn't
say anything...
541
00:23:13,307 --> 00:23:14,600
LeBeau, please,
542
00:23:14,642 --> 00:23:15,977
tune in on
my wavelength.
543
00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:18,187
Listen, will this
help my promotion?
544
00:23:18,271 --> 00:23:19,397
How would I know?
545
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,482
What's this doing
on my ear?
546
00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:24,986
The explosion must have brought
him back to normal.
547
00:23:25,069 --> 00:23:26,195
But it can't.
548
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:27,822
I need him as he was.
549
00:23:27,905 --> 00:23:27,989
Hogan, what will I do?
550
00:23:29,574 --> 00:23:31,159
Wait for another rainstorm.
551
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,453
We could always put him
back up on the roof.
552
00:23:33,503 --> 00:23:38,053
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