All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s06e06 The Gestapo Takeover.eng

( theme song playing )

A record of everything
we've purchased

for our little hotel here,
household supplies...

Uh-huh.

Spent a great deal of
money on food, I see.

Oh, yes, quite a bit.

We are Luft Stalag,
Herr Major.

We do not believe
in starvation.

Ah, so I see.

I-I'm on a diet, Major.

Oh, yes,
Sergeant Schultz eats

only three meals a day
like all the rest of the men.

But every meal seems
to go right into the next meal,

if you know what I mean... sir.

Coffee, Colonel Hogan?

No thanks, Fraulein.

Junior doesn't like
the idea.

They get upset
when people relax.

Very neat,
very efficient.

Now, Major,
you have arrived here

with a fully-armed commando.

You've inspected the books.

You've asked questions.

What is it you want?

Herr Colonel, it is not
a question of what I want.

It's what I've got.

What have you got?

Call the senior prisoner
officer in here.

This concerns
him, as well.

Call in Colonel Hogan.

SCHULTZ:
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Colonel Hogan, come in, bitte.

KLINK:
Colonel Hogan,

Major Strauss, Gestapo.

Major?

Colonel Hogan.

Major Strauss
has something to say

that concerns
all of us.

Are you surrendering to me?

I should've worn my dress blues.

Insolence!

I'm sure that
we can change

the colonel's
attitude.

We?

Yes. From today on,

the Gestapo will
take over Stalag 13--

prisoners, equipment

and bookkeeping.

You and your sergeant
will stay on

for a few weeks
as advisors,

then all Luftwaffe
personnel

will be transferred,
reassigned.

Reassigned? Where?

I'll give you a hint:

It's big, cold,
east of here,

and there are a lot
of people named Ivan

shooting at you
all the time.

Major Strauss, where are
your orders, huh,

and by whose authority?

General Mueller,
Gestapo.

We'll see about this.

Fraulein Hilda,
get me General Burkhalter

in Berlin-- priority call.

Besides being head of the
Luft Stalag administration,

he also happens to be
a personal friend of mine.

I'm impressed.

KLINK:
Oh, General Burkhalter?

Colonel Klink speaking.
Heil Hitler.

There's a Major Strauss here

attempting
to take over Stalag 13.

His men are in the compound.

He's been going
through our records and...

Major Strauss, yes. Gestapo.

And when I...
( line clicks )

Hello?

Hello?

How could a man talk to me
for three minutes

and then say, "Wrong number"?

Nothing like
a personal friend

when you need one.

So the Gestapo
takes over.

So what?

Why are we getting
all bent out of shape?

We're not exactly
talking

about a troop
of Cub Scouts.

But we are an old,
established company.

And they're
trained killers.

Shoot first,
ask questions later.

We managed to get
the Luftwaffe housebroken.

No reason we can't do
the same thing with the Gestapo.

That's your
opinion, not mine.

What happens to us

if Klink and Schultz
are transferred, huh?

We're finished.

Colonel, what do they want
with this old rattrap anyway?

Robbery. They cheat
on camp supplies,

organize a
black market,

move in on the
local merchants.

Happens wherever
they take over.

Let them steal.
They don't worry us.

Anybody else want
to stick his head in the sand,

leave his backside

sticking out
to be kicked?

No reason to get so upset,
Colonel.

I say there is.

They're going to
tighten security-- so are we.

No radio for a while, and
nobody use the tunnels.

We got to make sure
they don't find 'em.

(metal detector ticking)

(chuckles)
Never saw it before.

All right,
who's the wise guy

been digging tunnels
without permission?

( overlapping denials )

Don't know anything
about it, sir.

It must be left over
from World War I.

I don't believe it.

Maybe it was the war
before that war.

Now, let's see.

When was that war?

All right, I want the men
responsible for this

to take one step forward.

Sorry. Must be an old tunnel.

Hogan, you are
the senior officer

responsible
for discipline.

This is your failure.

You may have a week
in the cooler to think about it.

A week?

You're too good
to me, Major.

Take him away.

Nothing to worry about,
right?

Right.

We'd forgotten,
Colonel.

That tunnel was closed off
a year ago.

We got to keep
better records.

Anybody digs a
tunnel from now on,

they make a note,
and that's an order.

Right.
This Stroganoff's delicious, LeBeau.

Thank you, mon colonel.

I've been thinking
about our problem.

We can't cope
with the Gestapo.

Got to get rid of 'em.

All right, then.

( whispers ):
Get rid of the Gestapo?

No more wine for this table.

I got an idea,
and it might work.

When you get back
to the barracks,

have Baker plug
into Major Strauss' phone line.

Oui, mon colonel.

General Mueller
is Strauss' boss in Berlin.

He's bound to call.

I want a recording
of Mueller's voice.

Recording?
HOGAN: Right.

I want Newkirk
to listen, practice

and imitate it. Got it?

Understood, mon colonel.
I will give him your orders, ( clanking )

but I think...
Hold it-- someone's coming.

Back in the tunnel.

Here you go.

Hi, Schultz.
Come on in.

Danke.

Eh, what do
you got there?

Been digging
for worms again?

This is your supper.

( groans )

This is what the Gestapo
gives to prisoners now.

I was right
the first time.

Well... I'll
leave it here.

Yeah.
Maybe your appetite will come back.

How are things
in the outside world?

How's the commandant?
Depressed?

Oh, he sits in his
quarters all day long.

Frankly, it's a shame

they had the Gestapo come
and take over Stalag 13.

Yeah, I was just getting
used to the place.

( sighs )
Nothing can be done about it, I guess.

Well, I had a few ideas,

but it's kind of tough
to think straight in here.

Maybe the commandant
can get you released?

( scoffs )
Impossible. Forget it.

No, Schultz.

All I'd like
is to be out of here in time

to wave good-bye
when they take you two away.

Please don't talk like this.

I'll have Commandant Klink
talk with Major Strauss.

Now...

I have to go.

Yeah, but drop in
anytime, Schultz.

( chuckles )
Danke.

Bon appétit.

Schultz, don't bring me
any dessert.

Mm?

( laughs )

Jolly joker.

What about this?

Run it under the rafter.

It's not going
to be used anyway.

Right.

Oh, we got this recording
yesterday, sir.

The second voice
is General Mueller.

Well, let's hear it.

General Mueller,
this is Strauss speaking.

Heil Hitler.

MUELLER:
Heil Hitler.

STRAUSS:
We have taken over Stalag 13, Herr General,

according to plan.

MUELLER:
Good. You will get rid

of the Luftwaffe administration
as quickly as possible.

Then you know what to do.

STRAUSS:
Understood, Herr General.

Now you've heard him, sir.
Now listen to me.

He's been practicing.

He's got it
down real great.

How 'bout this, sir?

( clears throat )

An excellent report,
Major Strauss.

You will be promoted for this

and be given
a decoration,

possibly the purple
wiener schnitzel

with poached egg cluster.

What do you
think, Colonel?

So good you scared me
to death.

Well, I've got a lot
of work to do on it yet,

but I'll get it, sir.
Work on it, huh?

Right.

Major Strauss...

Hey, wait till you hear Newkirk
imitate General Mueller.

Boy, he could fool me.

Doesn't require too
much talent for that.

It's all set, Colonel.
It's in place.

Good. Klink should
be here any minute.

Shh...

Schultz, where's Klink?

He sent me ahead
to make sure the coast is clear.

No Gestapo?

Nobody here but
us chickens.

( Schultz whistling bird-like )

Close the door.

Atten-hut!

Never mind the formalities.
At ease.

Don't worry, nobody
recognized you, sir.

We even had trouble,
right, fellas?

ALL:
Right.

Who is he?

Commandant...

thank you for getting
me out of the cooler.

Believe me,
for the first time,

I had to use all my intelligence
and craftiness.

Yeah, well, I
got out anyway.

Now, Hogan,
for the first time,

we have a common purpose.

Uh-huh.

And I think I speak
for all of us

when I say...
we love this place.

Oh, we want to keep
it, right, fellas?

Right.
Certainly, sir.

Now, Hogan, I am willing

to cooperate with you
for our common purpose,

but I want it
clearly understood,

once we get rid
of the Gestapo,

we will return
to the same rigid discipline

that I'm famous for.
Absolutely.

We wouldn't have
it any other way, right, fellas?

Right, sir, right.
Sure, we understand that.

Now, first,
we must consider

the alternatives
that are open to us.

( gasps ):
A micropho...

How are you feeling
these days, Commandant?

Very good, thank you.

Anything new
at the office?

Not a great deal.

Why don't we get
together and do this more...?

They must have the whole
place bugged by now.

Yeah. Can't make
any plans here, sir.

I knew it was hopeless.

No, no, not
necessarily, sir.

Uh, if, uh, we went
into town, maybe,

in, uh, some public place,
wouldn't be any danger.

Town? Are you crazy?
Well, all you got to do is tell Major Strauss

I need some dental work,
you're taking me to the dentist in Hammelburg.

Shultz goes
along as a guard.

Impossible. Too risky.

Okay. You want
to chicken out,

run the risk
of losing all this.

All right, I'll try to
arrange it for tomorrow.

So far, we've got a chance.

Baker, get in touch
with our underground contact.

Tell him I want to see Otto
at the haufbrau tomorrow night.

Right, Colonel.

Now...

we have to find
some kind of distraction

for Klink and Schultz.

Distraction, Colonel?

Yeah, something
to keep 'em busy.

What would do it?

HOGAN/BAKER/LeBEAU:
Girls!

Girls. That
never would've occurred to me.

Yeah, Carter, we know.

♪ ♪

( laughter )

Ooh.

( laughs )

Oh, I didn't
have such fun

since the strudel
festival in Munich.

( laughs )

We came here
to talk business.

We'll get around
to it, Commandant.

Ja, Colonel.

Let's have fun,
and then we talk.

Are you really a Colonel?

Of course, my dear--
isn't that quite obvious?

But hard to
believe, huh?

Schultz!

I-I I mean, y-you
being so human, Colonel.

That's not easy
to believe, either.

WOMAN:
Hmm.

Shall we have another bottle
of wine?

SCHULTZ:
Ja!

Why not?
Allow me.

I'll take
care of it.

( laughs )

Bottle of wine for
that table, please.

Slowly.

I understand.

Wild idea, Colonel.

It's the best kind
if they work. If.

We have no choice.

If we let the Gestapo
keep Stalag 13,

our organization and yours
will be out of business.

That's the way
I figure it.

You'll need two men.

A Swiss civilian
and General Mueller's aide.

We'll call him
Captain Geissler.

I have a man
for that job.

You can handle the
Swiss part, huh?

All right.
I have a Swiss passport,

among others.

What if they decide
to check with Mueller?

We have Strauss'
phone covered

and a pretty
good imitation of Mueller's voice.

We can confirm
anything you tell him.

All right.

You're Otto Baum,
Zurich, huh?

I am traveling on
a special visa.

You will see
it noted there.

Oh, yeah, I've seen it.

Will you be kind enough
to tell General Mueller

I have arrived?

General Mueller?

I am to meet
him here.

May I ask, what is your business
with the general?

I'm afraid I can't
tell you that, Major.

Mueller is here?

No, but I can call him.

Good. Thank you.

Fraulein,
get me General Mueller,

Gestapo headquarters, Berlin.

( buzzing )

Bitte?

Eine moment, bitte.

General Mueller speaking.

Heil Hitler.

Oh, Major Strauss.

Baum, Herr General.

Otto Baum.

Yes, I've been waiting
to hear from him.

You will make my apologies
for not being there in person.

Jawohl, Herr General.

Baum has an agreement.

We negotiated it some time ago.

You will sign it,

"Accepted for General Mueller."

"Accepted
for General Mueller."

What sort of an agreement?

So many questions, Strauss.

My aide, Captain Geissler,
is on his way to Stalag 13.

He should be there
any time.

He will confirm the agreement
and add his signature.

I am not acquainted

with Captain Geissler,
Herr General.

Of course not.

He's my confidential aide.

Deal with him
as you would with me.

Understood, Herr General.

Geissler has orders

to bring the agreement
to me in Berlin

the moment it is signed.

Now, any more questions,
Strauss?

Nein. Nein, Herr General.

Excellent.

Wiedersehen.
Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.
Wiedersehen.

General Mueller regrets
that he cannot be here.

Cannot be here?

I came all the
way from Zurich.

Captain Geissler
will represent him.

He is on his way.

Geissler.

Geissler?

Oh, yes, Mueller's aide.

He was at our last meeting.

BAUM:
Good to see you again, Geissler.

GEISSLER:
Danke, Herr Baum.

BAUM:
I'm sorry the general can't be with us.

GEISSLER:
Because of the nature of the agreement,

he felt it might be wiser
if he stayed in Berlin.

BAUM:
Of course.

GEISSLER:
Did you have a pleasant trip from Switzerland?

BAUM:
One doesn't expect comfort in war time.

Shall we get down to business?

Switchboard ready,
just in case?

Ready. Our
switchboard

and our
General Mueller.

Now, the major points
of our understanding, Herr Baum.

Ja.

"General Mueller
agrees as follows.

"One, he
will arrest,

"and if necessary,
execute Adolf Hitler."

What?!

Arrest and execute the Fuhrer?

Major Strauss,
may I suggest

that we hear
the full document?

That is treason!

If you'll listen, Major,
you may hear something

that will make it quite
worthwhile for you.

"Two, General Mueller
and his associates will surrender

"all German armed forces
to the allied governments

"and negotiate an
interim peace agreement.

"In consideration
of these actions,

"the allies represented
by Herr Otto Baum,

"agree to pay General
Mueller the sum

"of ten million
Swiss francs

"and to guarantee
him safe passage to Argentina."

I can't believe
that General Mueller would...

I suggest you call him
for confirmation, Major.

Tell Newkirk
to stand by.

GEISSLER:
Ja, Major Strauss.

Why don't you call the general?

Boy, those guys are
really something.

He would never discuss this
on the telephone.

I am instructed
to tell you, Major,

that General Mueller intends

to take good care
of his friends in this matter.

Ten million francs?

He can afford to.

And safe conduct
out of Germany

at the proper time.

Captain, does
this contain all the points

we negotiated at
our last meeting?

Ja. It is correct,
Herr Baum.

Then we are
ready to sign.

BAUM:
I'm going to the Hammelburg Airfield, Captain.

Will you ride with me?

Danke. Glad to.

Bitte.

( speaking German )

Hey, Carter,

don't ask the men
for cigarettes.

Why don't you just
mind your own business?

Come on, get out of the way,
so you won't get... Oh.

( Baum shouts )

CARTER ( chuckling ):
Oh, everything's okay, okay.

( engine starting )

You expect me to take this

to General Burkhalter
without reading it?

You'd never believe
what's in it.

You might refuse
to go to Berlin.

Hogan, now you're treating
me like a child...

(stamping foot)
and I will not be treated like a child.

I want Burkhalter to open this
in your presence.

I want to see your reaction.

I won't go unless you
tell me what's in it.

Okay. You won't go
to Berlin,

but you will go
to the eastern front

when the Major's ready.

( laughs )
He doesn't bother me.

Come on, Commandant,
who are you kidding?

He doesn't bother me!

Scare me, yes.

Strauss might not even
have you transferred.

You already know enough
about his bookkeeping.

The Gestapo might arrange
a little accident for you.

I know nothing about his
bookkeeping, nothing.

Commandant, this is a chance
to get your command back,

to get rid of these monsters.

You want to chicken out,
forget it.

Hogan...

...the envelope.

Ten million Swiss francs.

Safe passage to Argentina.

Nice little
arrangement, Herr General.

Very nice, especially the part
about executing the Fuhrer.

Read that again.

Oh, it makes me feel so good.

Klink, please.

Can't really believe
I had anything to do with this.

It is signed,
"For General Mueller."

By one of your
own officers,

our friend,
Major Strauss.

Obviously working
on some scheme of his own

and trying to involve me.

It's not important, Mueller.

The way I see it,

you have two alternatives.

That's right,
General Burkhalter.

There are two alternatives.

( laughs )

And what are they?

The Gestapo will move
out of Stalag 13,

restore it
to the Luftwaffe,

or I will personally
hand this document

to the Fuhrer.

Don't try to scare me
with the Fuhrer.

Well, Mueller, what's
it going to be?

I am loyal to Hitler,
and he knows it.

Then you have
nothing to fear.

I will make
the necessary arrangements.

Herr General, you
must listen to me.

They arranged this.

They are the guilty people.

Take him away!

I can't stand that man.

All right, you have
your precious stalag back,

and good luck to you.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Heil Hitler.

BOTH:
Heil Hitler.

( engine starting )

That agreement was
brilliant, Klink.

Danke.

That's right,
brilliant.

How did you
arrange it, Klink?

I'm curious, too.

How did I arrange it?

Well, sir, I'm afraid

there are some things
that just cannot be told.

Not even to me?

Not even to you,
Herr General.

I can understand that.

I really can.

( laughs )

Luftwaffe guards
in the places they should be,

winter sun sparkling
on the barbed wire.

Everything in perfect order.

How about celebrating
with some extra hot water for the men, sir,

and maybe a loaf
of white bread?

Hogan, I warned you.

When I resumed command,
all prisoners

would be subject
to my usual rigid discipline.

Request denied.

You have a grand way
of saying "thank you."

By the way, Hogan,

where did you get
that agreement, huh?

Hot water,
white bread.

Denied.

Where did you get
that agreement?

Commandant, there
are some things

that just can't be told.

Not even to me?

Especially not even to you.

Dismissed!

♪ ♪

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