All language subtitles for Corporate.S01E06.Casual.Friday.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-CtrlHD

Happy Friday.

You fell for it.

You took Casual Friday too far.

What do you mean?
The email said we could wear

- whatever we want.
- Matt, you naive little ingenue.

Casual Friday is a trap.

Anything you wear can
and will be held against you.

You know, this is the first time
I've ever seen your toes.

There's something weird about them.

I don't have weird toes.

Yes, you do.

They look like stretched out
baby fingers.

As much as I enjoy seeing others fail,

I'm gonna take pity on you
and give you my jacket.

Now he looks like he's in a ska band.

I actually used to be in a ska band.

Don't ever tell anybody that.

Great, now I look like
the biggest idiot in the office.

Hi, Tom.

Jill, nice to see you.

Terry, how's it going?

Oh, nice outfit, Jennifer.

Morning, Ken.

Can you get the New York office

on the phone for me, please?

Anyone have any big plans
for the weekend?

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

- Hey.
- Hmm?

Did you notice?

- Contacts.
- I did notice.

Hey...

these are real cheetah.

I could tell.

What the fuck is this?

Oh, well, sir, we have been
experiencing an uptick

in reports of employee
depression and aggression.

So to address the issue,

we implemented Casual Friday,

where employees
can wear jeans once a month.

Well, that was a catastrophic mistake.

Just look at that.

I mean, how can someone
lack the shame and dignity

to come into an office
looking like that?

To put on those clothes

and stroll into a place of business

and think that that's an acceptable way

to live your life?

We probably shouldn't tell him
our best lawyer

went insane and came in shirtless today.

And what is going on with those toes?

The second one is too long.
It should be covered.

Why would he subject us to this?

I don't want to see
another human being's foot

for the rest of the day.

Wow. This is definitely gonna
be a traumatic memory for me.

Alyssa Armstrong is going to
be here within the hour,

and she represents
Glorious Salvation Ministries,

the largest group
of mega-churches in the country,

and this meeting was not easy to get.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I had to buy three

of George W. Bush's dog paintings

to get him to vouch for me.

Now, we all know there's no God,

but there is...

a ton of money to be made in his name.

So let's try to act
like professionals today.

And, John...

put your glasses back on.

You look like a prepubescent Voldemort.

Thank you, sir.

John and I need to hop
into this meeting,

so we need you to talk to the man

who came in without his shirt on.

His name is Walter Sabo.

He's the top litigator
at Hampton DeVille

and one of the best in the country.

And judging by your inability
to dress yourself,

we thought you might be able
to get through to him.

Okay, I'll do it.

Thanks for believing in me.

Don't worry, I'll keep him
on a short leash.

What do we think?

You look like a priest.

Well, that's what I'm going for.

- Well, it's too much.
- Okay. Too much.

When did you stop believing in God?

I was 12.

I drank some of the holy water
at church,

- and it gave me salmonella.
- Hmm.

What made you stop believing in God?

YouTube comments.

Who are the 90% of people
who still believe in God?

Professional athletes.
They're rich, hot,

and their bodies
haven't betrayed them yet.

Their lives are amazing.

Why wouldn't they believe in God?

We need to speak to Walter.

Okay, but you know
he's not wearing a shirt, right?

Yeah, that's why we're here.

Am I gonna lose my job?

I have student loans.

No, no.

I mean, I guess I don't know,
but probably not.

Listen, why don't we
finish this conversation

when I beat you
on the golf course this Sunday?

Sounds good.

Send those contracts over,

and I'll take a look at them today.

All right. Ciao.

How can I help you boys?

Walter, we're here to talk
to you about your shirt.

I'm not wearing a shirt.

Exactly. That's the problem.

Why is that a problem?

Today is Casual Friday.

We're aware of that,

but that doesn't mean
you can be shirtless.

Actually, it does.

The official Casual Friday memo

says the dress code is "loosened."

However, in the entire document,

there's no stated definition
of the word "loosened."

Therefore, "loosened" is open

to individual interpretation.

My interpretation
is not wearing a shirt.

Right, but it's distracting

to the other employees.

Why?

Because they can see your nipples.

Are you saying there's
something wrong with my nipples?

No, your... your nipples are great.

It's just that in the workplace,

nipples are problems.

I disagree,

and the burden is on you
to prove me wrong.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

my nipples and I have some work to do.

♪ While by my sheep ♪

♪ I watched at night ♪

Remember, God is real.

Alyssa,

how nice to finally meet you.

Hello, Mr. Devil.

It's pronounced DeVille.

But please, call me Christian.

I have to be honest,
I was a little hesitant

about meeting with you today, but, um...

I can see that Hampton DeVille

is serious about working with us.

However, I am finding the choir music

somewhat distracting.

Down or off?

- Maybe just off.
- Just off?

Well, let's get into terms.

Okay, Walter has clearly lost his mind.

But if you think about it,

why are we wearing shirts?

Like, why are you wearing that shirt?

Because I look great in it.

Right, okay, but beyond that,

why are you covering your body
in clothing?

Because I'm ashamed of my body.

Okay, right, but maybe

if we didn't wear clothes,

there wouldn't be body shame.

Maybe body shaming is underrated.

What's going on?

Does Walter still have his shirt off?

The Walter situation is under control.

Ken, I need the Smith files
when you get a chance.

Thanks, buddy.

Yeah, but he still has his shirt off.

Well, yes.

But he's still doing his job.

So if I took my shirt off,

you guys wouldn't do anything about it?

Who's to say what we would do?

No. Very bad.

You're being an unbelievably bad boy.

Stop it. You're the baddest boy.

I really would love for you to stop.

- I'll pay you a lot of money.
- Please don't do that.

Okay, fine,

but nobody else
take their shirt off, all right?

I mean, Paige, obviously you can't.

Uh, wait, what does that mean?

Well, you're a woman, so...

So what?

If you're a guy,
you could take off your shirt,

but if you're woman, you can't?

That's sexist.

Okay.

Um, I know that since I'm a man,

telling you what is
or isn't sexist is sexist.

But you can't take off your shirt.

Because you're a woman.

But we're not sexist.

Oh.

Okay, that's fair.

And I'm sorry.

Hey, these executives say

- we can all take our shirts off.
- No, we didn't.

It's against the rules
to have your shirt off!

And there will be repercussions.

We just don't know what they are yet.

But we're figuring that out!

As you can see,

Hampton DeVille has the ability

to bring your churches
into the 21st century.

Our flat screens will broadcast
the gospel of Jesus

in 4K resolution.

We want to help you create

an immersive religious
entertainment experience.

And if somehow your congregants

manage to lose interest,

you can wake them up with...

The touch of God.

So what do you say?

Shall we...

consummate this holy union?

What you have presented here today

is blasphemy.

You want me to pay millions of dollars

so you can splatter your corporate logo

across my church?

Well, I have a counteroffer.

$1.

That's how much I'm willing to pay you.

- Now, the question is...
- You can kill it now.

Are you smart enough to say yes?

You have my attention.

Never in the 6,000-year-old
history of the world

has a corporation been offered

a product placement opportunity
like this.

Every time my congregants go to pray,

they'll be thinking
of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit,

and Hampton fucking DeVille.

So you all are going
to supply my churches,

and I'm going to pay you nothing.

And you are going to thank God

for the gift I have given unto you.

God damn.

Do not use the Lord's name in vain.

Thanks to you guys, there are now

25 shirtless people in this building.

And yet all of them look
less ridiculous than Matt.

Why are you attacking me right now?

I was going to leave early
to go see Pitbull,

but at this rate, I won't be able to.

I had to forgive my father
for those tickets.

I don't blame people
for taking their shirts off.

They're just desperately grasping

for any sort of identity,
and I can relate to that.

- You're wrong.
- Guys!

We need to talk to these people

and figure out how
to get their shirts back on

so I can be baptized
in the sweat of my one true god,

Pitbull.

So why aren't you wearing your shirt?

If they want to tell me
what to wear so badly,

maybe they should try paying
for my health benefits first.

Corporations are fascist, okay?

I don't buy in
to your puritanical dress code.

You know who else tried

to enforce dress codes? Hitler.

Honestly, I just started
doing this as a joke, but...

I mean now, I'm pretty serious about it.

I'm just a janitor here,
so I don't really

get treated like the other employees.

It just feels good
to be a part of something.

Monkeys don't wear shirts.
Right? We're all monkeys.

Walter's standing up for all of us.

I think Walter's
an honest-to-God prophet.

I think Walter's hot.

Donkeys also don't wear shirts,

so, uh...

think about that.

So, Brock...

Why did you take your shirt off?

I think Walter's right.

There's way too many restrictions

on our bodies here at work.

If people don't want to wear a shirt,

they shouldn't have to.

I kinda feel like anybody

should be able to do
whatever they want to do,

all the time.

I found Brock quite persuasive.

I think he made some great points.

I implicitly trust him,

and I want to be his friend.

I'm not gonna force my fellowship

to look at ads for
Hampton DeVille's vodka brand

every time they turn to 1 Corinthians.

Well, unless you're willing to leave

the future of your company...

I'm sorry, "church"...

up to God's good will,

you're going to have to make
some compromises.

You can't have free porn
without pop-ups.

My congregation doesn't listen
to pop-up ads.

They listen to me.

When I told them to burn "Harry Potter,"

sales of the book went up 40%.

JK Rowling still owes me for that.

Okay, how about this?

We'll disable the ads,

but in exchange,

I want all your refreshment stands

to be stocked exclusively

with Hampton DeVille food products.

We're thinking...

Crossicles.

My favorite flavor:

the blood of Christ.

Go grab the champagne.

We'll have a deal by the time
you get back.

Christian is a master negotiator.

We might even get out of here
in time to see Pitbull.

♪ Satan is real ♪

♪ Working in spirit ♪

♪ You can see him and hear him ♪

♪ In this world every day ♪

♪ Satan is real ♪

♪ Working with power ♪

♪ He can tempt you ♪

♪ And lead you astray ♪

It's like fucking Armageddon out there.

I haven't seen this
many bare torsos since

that spring break I got trapped
in that mannequin factory.

We think it has something
to do with Walter.

He started some kind of movement.

How could one employee taking
his shirt off lead to this?

I might be able to explain.

You need to think of this as a riot.

Now, during a riot,

people do things
that they don't normally do,

things that don't make sense.

It starts with one person

throwing a brick through a window,

or in this case, taking their shirt off.

This person is a radical.

They don't need anyone
to model their behavior after.

Then a second person comes.

Usually this person wouldn't
take their shirt off,

but since someone else
has done it first,

they go along for the ride.

Then a third person
and fourth person and so on.

It's very simple crowd psychology.

Once enough people participate,

there are no social consequences.

It's like how everyone in the '90s

started listening to ska.

This guy knows what I'm talking about.

So how do we get people to
stop taking their shirts off?

There's no stopping it.

Eventually, we'll all be shirtless.

Okay.

John and I will handle Christian.

You two better fix this

or I will crucify you myself.

Turn the AC down to 53 degrees.

Yes, I am powerful enough
to tell you to do that.

Now do it.

Okay, Ken, we'll be there
in just a minute.

No, you don't have to
turn tricks to make rent.

Just drive Lyft or something.

She caved. We've got a deal.

Sir, first I just want to say
that watching you negotiate this

has been a privilege.

Quick update slash minor hiccup:

half the employees have taken
their shirts off

and are refusing to put them back on.

What?

Jesus Christ.

I'll handle Alyssa.

You two deal with
the rest of the company

or I swear to God
I will crucify you myself.

- Let's celebrate.
- We want to talk to Walter!

He's the only one who understands us!

Let him out of his office!

I'm not keeping him in there!
I'm just his assistant!

What do you want me to do?
Suck all your dicks for money?

- What?
- What did he say?

Oh, God, thank God you're here.

Why do those guys get to see Walter?

They don't even have their shirts off!

And say hello to Linda for me.

Really?

Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that.

Then don't say hi to her for me.

All right. I'll talk to you later. Ciao.

Can we make this quick?

I've got work to do, and you
boys keep interrupting me.

Walter, half the company
has their shirts off

and Christian will probably
clean house if he finds out,

all because you refuse
to put your shirt back on.

Hasn't this gone far enough?

Hey, all I did is find a loophole.

It's not my fault everyone
followed me through it.

Yes, it is.

Well, we disagree.

Arguing with him is pointless.

What are we gonna do?

Okay.

Thank you for the champagne,
but I should really get going.

Oh, come on, have another glass.

We still need to finish this puzzle.

Well... no. Two glasses are fine for me.

Everything in moderation.

Wait, you can't leave.

I mean...

Not before we pray

to bless the deal.

Okay, fine.

Great news, everybody:

Walter has asked us
to be his representatives.

Now, what Walter wants to know...

And, again, these are Walter's words.

Directly from the man himself.

What do we want in exchange
for putting our shirts back on?

We want equal treatment
for male and female employees!

Make it stop freezing in here!

No more unpaid overtime
and longer lunch breaks

- and better snacks in the break room!
- Yeah!

Guys, if we want
upper management to listen,

we have to be clear about what
we want, we're losing focus.

Fuck focus. Fuck you. Shave your back!

- Hey.
- No compromise.

We should be able to
have our shirts off every day!

I mean, maybe not every day,
but once a week!

No! Every day!

Which side are you on?

I know there's been a lot of controversy

about me not wearing a shirt today,

but I believe that people
should have the freedom

to wear whatever they want to work.

Yeah!

We've allowed our lives to be dictated

by arbitrary man-made rules.

I believe we are perfect
the way God made us.

- Yeah!
- Nice!

That's what I'm talking about.

And in the spirit of that...

This is the real me.

This what freedom looks like.

I don't wanna take my pants off.

Hey!

Somebody took a shit in my office!

All right, that's it.

Everybody put your shirts back on, okay?

Honestly, it has not been that fun.

Thank you for your guidance
in our negotiation

over brand integration.

You are the shepherd,
the sheep, and the wolf,

and we are Little Red Riding Hoods.

Forgive me, oh, heavenly father,

for not praying to you for 15 years

while I got my career on track.

Dear God, make me a drone

so I can fly far, far, far away
from here.

- Let's go! Let's go!
- It's freezing in here!

Remember Walter's horrific penis?

Get those shirts on!

And heavenly father,
thank you for, um...

digitized stock trading, and, uh...

oh, oh, the benefits accrued therein.

And, father... what am
I thinking about now?

Oh, yes, it's kinda like when,
you know, um...

Okay, amen.

I'm cold.

I feel like you prayed us
into Christmas.

You know...

Now, hold on a moment!

♪ While by my sheep ♪

♪ I watched at night ♪

♪ Glad tidings brought... ♪

It's a miracle.

Our prayers have been answered.

I knew God was real.

Well, thank you for believing
in Hampton DeVille.

Mm.

And I assure you
your faith will be rewarded.

♪ Joy, joy, joy ♪

Son...

God made a mistake
when he made those toes.

Straight from the depths of hell,

those are the hooves of Lucifer.

Let's take a different elevator.

If it makes you feel any better,

you look way better shirtless
than I thought you would.

You do too. I was impressed.

You should get photos taken.

You're not gonna look like that forever.

Ugh, I know.

Now...

we all know there's no God, but...

there is a ton of money
to be made in his name.

So let's try to act
like professionals today.

Okay, that's enough.