Original subtitles

I LIKE THESE WOMEN.

I LOVE THESE WOMEN.

* AND I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU *

DON'T DO IT, EDIE! I'LL GET SO MAD.

POOR EDIE. WHICH EDIE?

LITTLE EDIE. SHE'S JUST TRYING TO SING,

AND HER MOM WON'T STOP TALKING.

BIG EDIE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL IN HER DAY. THEY WERE BOTH PRETTY.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY WERE RELATED TO JACKIE.

THE KENNEDYS HID THEM IN THE BACKGROUND.

WHEN YOU'RE A KENNEDY, HOW DO YOU CHOOSE

WHO IN THE FAMILY TO HIDE?

I NEVER TRIED ATTRACTING MEN WITH IT.

* THE SEA IS SAD... *

EDIE, STOP IT! I'M GONNA GET UP NOW.

THERE'S SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL ABOUT THEM.

THEY'RE COOL, THEY'RE FREE.

YEAH, AND THEY'RE MEMORABLE. MOST PEOPLE ARE FORGETTABLE.

THEY'RE HAPPY. THEY HAD THEIR CATS.

AND THEIR RACCOONS. AND THEIR PRETTY HOUSE.

AND EACH OTHER.

ADD A FEW YEARS, AND THEY'RE US. YEAH.

GET OUT!

YEAH.

GO OUT! STOP THAT!

YEAH.

STOP THAT SILLY NONSENSE!

* IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD *

* FEELIN' LONELY AND SO COLD *

* ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CALL MY NAME *

* AND I'LL BE THERE ON THE NEXT TRAIN *

* WHERE YOU LEAD, I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *

* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW *

* OH, OH, OH *

* WHERE YOU LEAD, I WILL FOLLOW *

* ANY, ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO *

* IF YOU NEED *

* IF YOU NEED *

* YOU NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU *

* I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD *

BRIANNA, RUN IT THROUGH THE SIEVE AGAIN.

I WANT IT SMOOTH AS GLASS. DON'T CUT CORNERS, PEOPLE.

SHE'S MELTING DOWN.

LIKE BUTTER ON A SKILLET.

SOOKI. JUST A SECOND.

HOW'S YOUR LOVE LIFE, PETE? LITTLE FRUSTRATED, I BET.

WONDERED HOW I KNOW THAT?

YOU'RE TAKING IT OUT ON MY EGG WHITES.

GENTLY! FOLD THEM GENTLY.

SHIRL, YOU'RE SLICING, NOT DICING.

I CAN HEAR IT IN THE CHOP. ADJUST, MY FRIEND.

SOOKIE, WHOA, WHOA!

HEY, LET'S TALK.

I'M EXTREMELY LACKING IN TIME HERE.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

CHAOS, TRAVESTY OF COOKING.

IT'S A SALMONELLA LABORATORY IN HERE.

THE KITCHEN WILL BE IN GOOD HANDS.

BUT NOT MY HANDS.

IT'LL BE IN BOB'S HANDS. BOB HAS GREAT HANDS.

BOB HAS TWO SECONDS TO GET THE HOLLANDAISE OFF THE FLAME

BEFORE I BREAK HIS NECK.

SOOKIE, YOU HIRED BOB. YOU TRAINED HIM IN YOUR IMAGE.

HE'S GREAT. HE'S SUBBED FOR YOU BEFORE.

BUT THIS IS THANKSGIVING. HE HAS NEVER DONE THANKSGIVING.

HE'S READY. HE'LL SUB FOR YOU SEAMLESSLY.

EVEN BIG JOE NEWS ANCHORS HAVE SUBSTITUTES.

AND THAT'S THE THING.

THEY STILL SAY, "AND NOW THE CBS EVENING NEWS WITH DAN RATHER."

YOU SEE? DAN IS STILL ASSOCIATED WITH IT

EVEN THOUGH HE'S OFF SNORKELING OR SOMETHING,

LIKE I'LL BE ASSOCIATED WITH THE DINNER

BECAUSE BOB IS SUBSTITUTING FOR SOOKIE.

EXCUSE ME ONE MINUTE.

OH, THIS CAN ONLY BE GOOD.

SOOKIE, THAT'S THE GARBAGE.

STOP ROOTING THROUGH THE GARBAGE.

I WILL WHEN PEOPLE STOP THROWING AWAY USEFUL STUFF!

SOOKIE, DROP -- DROP THE TOPS. DROP 'EM.

COME HERE, COME HERE.

SOOKIE, LISTEN TO ME, BECAUSE YOU'RE TORTURING YOURSELF HERE.

EMILY, HI. THAT'S NICE. THAT'S VERY HIGH SCHOOL.

STICK WITH ME HERE. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

YEAH, THAT'S FUNNY. YOU KNOW WHO'S BEHIND YOU?

IT'S JOSEPH STALIN, MY GOOD FRIEND.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK FROM THE DEAD, JOE?

LORELAI? OH! MOM, JEEZ. YOU SCARED ME.

YOU HEARD SOOKIE GREET ME. I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE.

YOU LIKE COMPARING ME TO JOSEPH STALIN? I WASN'T COMPARING.

I'M IN A HURRY. CAN WE SPEAK? YEAH, I GUESS, FOR A MINUTE.

SO WERE YOU IN THE AREA OR SOMETHING?

NOT REALLY. WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE?

I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU. PHONE'S OUT OF ORDER?

LET'S NOT PLAY GAMES. GAMES?

I'VE CALLED SEVERAL TIMES THE PAST FEW WEEKS,

AND YOU'VE SKILLFULLY AVOIDED EVERY CALL.

THAT'S NOT TRUE. I LEFT MESSAGES ON YOUR MACHINE.

YES, MESSAGES.

IF I HAPPENED TO PICK UP, YOU'D HANG UP,

IF THE MAID PICKED UP, YOU'D ASK FOR ME,

CLAIM YOU WERE DRIVING THROUGH A TUNNEL,

SO YOU GET CUT OFF, AND MAKE GARBLING NOISES AND HANG UP.

WE'RE TALKING NOW. ARE YOU FEELING WELL?

YOU CAME HERE TO ASK ME THAT?

YOU'VE BEEN SICK PAST TWO FRIDAYS FOR DINNER.

THAT'S WHY YOU DIDN'T COME, RIGHT, BECAUSE YOU WERE SICK?

SO ARE YOU BETTER? YOU LOOK FINE.

IT'S THE MAKEUP. I'M STILL --

THESE ALLERGIES REALLY JUST HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS.

I'VE NEVER HEARD YOU MENTION ALLERGIES BEFORE. I'M A SILENT SUFFERER.

I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER.

I WANT YOU TO COME TO DINNER TOMORROW.

TOMORROW? TOMORROW'S THANKSGIVING.

YES, IT IS THANKSGIVING.

AND BEFORE YOU SIFT THROUGH THE DOZEN OR SO EXCUSES

YOU ALWAYS HAVE ON HAND, LET ME HAVE MY SAY.

YOU'VE MISSED TWO DINNERS AND AVOIDED MY CALLS

BECAUSE YOU'RE MAD AT US ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED AT YALE.

BUT I WANT YOU AND RORY AT THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR.

IF YOU HAVE PLANS... WE DO HAVE PLANS.

...ALTER THEM.

THERE'LL BE OTHER PEOPLE THERE,

SO THE FOCUS WON'T BE ON YOU.

YOU MAY BE ABLE TO GET BY WITHOUT SAYING MORE

THAN "HELLO," "GOODBYE," AND "PASS THE GRAVY ."

WE ALREADY HAVE PLANS. YOUR FATHER AND I ARE GOING OUTTA TOWN

AND WE'LL BE GONE ALL OF DECEMBER, INCLUDING CHRISTMAS.

IT'S THE LAST CHANCE FOR THE FAMILY TO BE TOGETHER FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.

I'M NOT THE ONE WHO SET THE MEETING FOR RORY BEHIND YOUR BACK.

I WANT YOU THERE, LORELAI.

AND IF YOU'RE STILL SICK, I DON'T WANT A DOCTOR'S NOTE.

I WANT YOUR DOCTOR HIMSELF TO COME TO MY HOUSE

AND CONVINCE ME THAT IT'S TRUE. GOT IT?

GOT IT.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

THE MULTILAYERED MEMBRANE SYSTEMS OF THE CYTOPLASM

ARE THE SMOOTH ENDOPLASMIC RETICULUM,

THE ROUGH ENDOPLASMIC RETICULUM, AND THE GOLGI BODY.

NOW, THE SMOOTH ENDOPLASMIC RETICULUM IS CONCERNED

WITH THE MANUFACTURE OF LIPID MOLECULES.

[BELL RINGING]

WE'LL CONTINUE ON THIS NEXT WEEK.

KEEP UP ON YOUR READING, PLEASE.

THAT WAS REALLY DISTRACTING.

OH, WELL, BY ALL MEANS, MADELINE,

POINT OUT TO THE FACULTY THAT THEIR ANNOYING CUSTOM

OF TEACHING IS DISTRACTING YOU FROM MORE IMPORTANT THINGS,

LIKE NAIL FILING AND DAYDREAMING ABOUT MARRYING RYAN PHILLIPPE.

AAH. HE'S ALREADY MARRIED. THEN WHATEVER STRAWHEAD ACTOR ISN'T.

FOR THE LAST FIVE MINUTES,

EVERY SINGLE THING SHE SAID SOUNDED DIRTY.

YEAH, SAME HERE. GOOD GOD.

I MEAN, RETICULUM -- COME ON.

AND PLUS THE GOLGI BODY --

IS IT ME, OR IS THAT MAJORLY PORNOGRAPHIC?

MY LIFE WITH THE BANGER SISTERS.

SO CHANGING THE SUBJECT. HALLELUJAH.

WHAT'S EVERYBODY DOING FOR THANKSGIVING?

I CAN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THANKSGIVING. LOUISE?

I'M HAVING DINNER WITH MY DAD. ISN'T HE STILL IN JAIL?

YES, BUT HIS COMPANY DONATED SOME TREADMILLS FOR THE INMATES,

SO HE SWUNG A SPECIAL TRAILER FOR DINNER

THAT THEY'LL SET UP FOR US IN THE PARKING LOT. WE HAVE IT FOR TWO HOURS.

THEN ONE OF THE MANSON GIRLS GETS IT. YOU'RE LUCKY IT'S IN THAT ORDER.

MY THANKSGIVING IS TURNING INTO A WES CRAVEN MOVIE.

HOW SO? I CALLED SHELTERS TO VOLUNTEER TO SERVE FOOD.

IT'S THANKSGIVING. YOU'D THINK THEY'D HAVE NEEDS.

NOPE. EVERY STUPID SOUP KITCHEN IN TOWN TURNED ME DOWN

BECAUSE THEY HAVE ENOUGH VOLUNTEERS. BUMMER.

I'M ON A COUPLE WAITING LISTS, BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF TOO MANY VOLUNTEERS.

WHO ARE ALL THESE JACKASSES WHO VOLUNTEERED ANYWAY?

THEY CAN'T ALL BE STUDENTS LIKE ME.

THEY'RE NOT ALL PUTTING IT ON A COLLEGE APPLICATION.

I GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT. THESE PEOPLE DON'T GET ANYTHING.

TALK ABOUT SELFISH. SORE SUBJECT.

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO, MADELINE?

I'VE GOT MORE COLLEGE APPLICATIONS TO FILL OUT --

BACKUPS, SAFETY SCHOOLS.

I'VE GOT SOME OF THAT, TOO. I'M SO BEHIND.

I TOLD YOU TO HAVE THOSE DONE BY NOW. SORRY, MOM.

IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING SORRY. IT'S ABOUT BEING PREPARED.

I GOT HARVARD AND MY BACKUPS IN WEEKS AGO.

ALL YOU'RE DOING IS MAKING ME MORE NERVOUS.

I'LL SEE YOU GUYS MONDAY. SAME HERE.

YEAH, SEE YOU GUYS MONDAY. HARVARD IS GOING TO BE EXPECTING THANKSGIVING SHELTER WORK.

THEY'LL KNOW I CALLED TOO LATE AND WILL TOTALLY IMPUGN MY ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS.

BY THE WAY, YOU KNOW I ULTIMATELY DO ALL THESE THINGS

FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND, RIGHT? OH, YEAH.

SOMETIMES I DON'T THINK I COME OFF THAT WAY. NO.

[PHONE RINGING]

HELLO?

YES, THANKS FOR RETURNING MY CALL.

NOTHING? BUT -- WAIT. JUST STICK ME AT ANY POT.

I'M SMALL. YOU WON'T KNOW I'M THERE. I'LL EVEN BRING MY OWN LADLE.

OH, NOW, COME ON. WORK WITH ME HERE.

I'VE GOT A SLOTTED SPOON.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT COFFEE OR CONDIMENTS?

YOU GOT CONDIMENTS COVERED?

I'M SORRY. CAN I SPEAK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR?

MY ATTITUDE? WHAT ABOUT YOUR ATTITUDE?

I'M TRYING TO HELP PEOPLE. IT'S THANKSGIVING.

SO SHE COLDCOCKED YOU, HUH?

SHE BIT ME -- INCAPACITATED ME WITH HER POISON AND DEVOURED ME WHOLE.

BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO GO TO FOUR THANKSGIVING DINNERS? IT'S NOT FOUR, IS IT?

LANE'S HOUSE, SOOKIE'S, AND WE ALWAYS STOP BY LUKE'S --

THAT'S THREE, AND GRANDMA AND GRANDPA IS FOUR.

WE'RE MAD, EDIE. WE'RE US, EDIE.

WE'VE TO GO TO MY PARENTS' OR BE BROUGHT UP ON WAR CRIMES.

LANE'S IS ALWAYS SUPEREARLY SO THAT'S EASY TO CATCH.

SOOKIE'S IS MIDAFTERNOON. LUKE'S THE TOUGHIE.

I GUESS THAT'S THE ONE WE'LL HAVE TO SKIP. BUMMER.

I KNOW, BUT HE WON'T CARE. HOLIDAYS ARE NOTHING TO HIM ANYWAY.

HEY, KIRK, DISCOVER A NEW FREAKY FETISH?

WHAT? NOTHING. DID YOU BUY A CAT?

YEP. I'M VERY EXCITED. YOU SEEM IT. SO WHAT'S ALL THIS?

I'M ASSUMING THERE'S NOTHING LEFT IN THE STORE. THERE'RE NUMBER OF THINGS LEFT.

NO, I MEANT YOU SEEM TO BE BUYING A LOT OF STUFF.

OH, SORRY. MY EXCITEMENT MUST BE CLOUDING

MY ABILITY TO JUDGE COMEDIC HYPERBOLE. WHERE'D YOU GET THE CAT?

A LADY HAD A FEW AT THE GROCERY STORE, AND KIRK LIKED ME INSTANTLY.

KIRK? YES.

THE CAT'S NAME IS KIRK? YEP.

WEIRD COINCIDENCE OR...

I NAMED HIM KIRK. ISN'T THAT CONFUSING?

NOT WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

NO, IT'S STILL CONFUSING.

I LIKE THE NAME, AND WHENEVER I CALL KIRK'S NAME,

I OBVIOUSLY WON'T BE CALLING MYSELF. TRUE.

ALTHOUGH WHEN MY MOM CALLS FOR KIRK, THAT MAY BE CONFUSING.

MAYBE I CAN GET HER TO SAY CAT KIRK WHEN SHE'S CALLING KIRK

AND HUMAN KIRK WHEN SHE'S CALLING ME. THAT WOULD KEEP IT STRAIGHT.

I'M GLAD I RAN INTO YOU. SEE YA. SEE YA, HUMAN KIRK.

HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A CAT PERSON. HE'S JUST NEVER HAD A CAT.

HMM.

[BELL RINGING]

HEY. ANYWHERE?

ANYWHERE.

HMM...DO YOU MIND MOVING?

I HATE WHEN YOU DO THAT. IT'S MY SHOW STOPPER.

AN EMPTY TABLE.

OH! YOU READY TO ORDER? I'M READY.

DON'T BOTHER -- SAW YOU COMING. I ALREADY ORDERED YOUR WEDNESDAY USUAL --

THE FRENCH DIP, EXTRA FRIES, THE EVERY-WEDNESDAY CHERRY PIE. SUCH SERVICE.

IT'S SUCH A FOOD RUT WE'RE IN.

I GOT TO GET BACK TO STUFFING MY TURKEY.

DO YOU HAVE TIME TO DO THAT AND PREP YOUR THANKSGIVING FOOD? STOP IT.

IT'S A TEDIOUS JOB. WHAT IF WE TOLD YOU YOU COULD STUFF ONE LESS?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WE GOT SHANGHAIED BY MY MOTHER.

WITH THE OTHER THINGS WE'VE GOING, WELL, TOO MANY COMMITMENTS, NOT ENOUGH US.

WE CAN'T MAKE IT TOMORROW.

OH, OKAY. FINE. IT WAS BEYOND OUR CONTROL.

THAT'S FINE. WHATEVER. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. YEAH.

UM, OKAY.

I MAY BE CRAZY, BUT HE ALMOST LOOKED...

DISAPPOINTED. YES. DISAPPOITNED.

WE DISAPPOINTED LUKE. I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE.

OUR POWERS ARE GREATER THAN WE KNOW.

HE LIKES IT WHEN WE COME FOR THANKSGIVING. ALL THESE YEARS, WE NEVER KNEW.

HE'S THE GRINCH, AND WE'RE CINDY LOU WHO.

SO, CINDY LOU, WHAT DO WE DO?

UH, WELL, PERFECT. THAT WORKS GREAT.

OKAY, BYE NOW.

SORRY. I'M JUST CLARIFYING THE SCHEDULE FOR TOMORROW.

AS LUCK HAS IT, WE CAN MAKE IT. WE'LL DEFINITELY BE HERE.

THAT WAS MY MOM, AND THE TIME'S JUST GONNA WORK OUT FINE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO. I ALREADY STOPPED PREPPING THE LAST TURKEY.

WELL, START PREPPING IT AGAIN 'CAUSE WE ARE COMING.

I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO COME.

THIS IS TIRING. I CAN KNEEL BEHIND HIM, AND YOU CAN PUSH HIM OVER.

IT WON'T BE A HASSLE? IT WON'T.

WE'RE COMING. NOW GO AWAY AND LET US EAT.

SHOO, SHOO!

THAT WAS VERY NICE.

WELL, I HATE DISAPPOINTING PEOPLE.

OKAY, NOW, PRACTICAL QUESTION --

HOW ARE WE GOING TO EAT FOUR THANKSGIVING DINNERS?

HOW? RORY, WHAT ARE WE IF NOT WORLD-CHAMPION EATERS?

IT'S TOO MUCH FOOD. IT'S NOT.

THIS IS WHAT WE'VE TRAINED FOR OUR WHOLE LIVES.

THIS IS OUR FINEST HOUR. OR FINAL HOUR.

NO, NO. GET INSPIRED AND TOMORROW I GUARANTEE YOU,

WE WILL BE STANDING ON THE OLYMPIC PLATFORM

RECEIVING OUR GOLD MEDALS FOR EATING.

WE'RE NOT MICHELLE KWAN-ING THIS.

OKAY, OKAY. FOUR DINNERS.

WE'LL SKIP THE ROLLS.

THAT'LL HELP.

WE MIGHT WANT TO CONSIDER NOT EATING MUCH NOW

IN PREPARATION FOR OUR FINEST HOUR.

A LITTLE FASTING SO WE CAN ENJOY MORE TOMORROW, HMM?

UNNECESSARY.

YEAH.

WHAT'S ON THE LIST? FLOWERS FOR EVERYONE WE'RE VISITING

AND CRANBERRY SAUCE FOR THE KIMS.

TUMS? YOU MEAN AMATEUR PILLS?

JUST IN CASE. OKAY, TUMS.

I'LL DO THE FLOWERS. I'LL DO DOOSE'S.

THANK YOU.

HEY, THERE. HEY.

WAIT, STOP. WHAT?

STOP. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

COME ON. RORY.

WHAT WAS THAT? A KISS.

WHAT'S WITH THE RELOCATION BEFORE THE KISS?

IT'S TOO EARLY. TOO EARLY FOR WHAT?

FOR KISSING LIKE THAT.

WHAT'S THE RULE -- NO KISSING BEFORE NOON?

NO, IT'S TOO EARLY TO DO THIS HERE.

WHERE? IN THE STREET?

THE STREET WITH PEOPLE WATCHING.

WHAT PEOPLE?

IN FRONT OF DOOSE'S.

AH. DOOSE'S.

WE SHOULDN'T FLAUNT IT. BUT I WANT TO FLAUNT IT.

IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT. HE'S A BIG BOY, RORY.

IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME A COUPLE'S BROKEN UP.

IT IS FOR US. THIS IS INSANE.

PLEASE, LET'S NOT FLAUNT IT. PLEASE?

FOR HOW LONG? UNTIL IT'S COMFORTABLE.

BEFORE WE'RE ON SOCIAL SECURITY?

I PROMISE. WE CAN KISS SECRETLY.

OR WE COULD WEAR "THREE STOOGES" MASKS.

THAT WAY NO ONE WILL KNOW WHO WE ARE. I CAN BE CURLY.

I'LL BE MOE. PROBABLY TOO SILLY.

THIS WILL GET BETTER OVER TIME. I PROMISE.

BUT UNTIL THEN, LET'S JUST PLAY IT COOL.

HEY, I'M FRANK AT THE SANDS.

THAT'S COOL.

OH. HEY, KIRK. DOING YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING?

WELL, SHOPPING, YES, AND IT IS A HOLIDAY,

BUT MY SHOPPING ISN'T HOLIDAY RELATED, SO TECHNICALLY, NO.

OH, WHAT HAPPENED THERE?

OH, NOTHING -- JUST A LITTLE SCRATCH.

LOOKS LIKE A BIG SCRATCH.

WOW! BACTINE, NEOSPORIN, MERCUROCHROME --

WHAT'S WITH ALL THE PHARMACOLOGICALS?

KIRK AND I ARE GOING THROUGH A LITTLE ADJUSTMENT PERIOD, THAT'S ALL.

CAT KIRK? IT'S NO BIGGIE,

AND THIS LOOKS...A LOT WORSE THAN IT IS.

YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT.

HOW'D IT HAPPEN? YOU WERE PLAYING OR SOMETHING?

WE HAVEN'T ACTUALLY PLAYED YET.

HAPPENED WHEN I WALKED INTO THE ROOM WITHOUT ANNOUNCING MYSELF.

EXCUSE ME? KIRK LIKES MY PRESENCE ANNOUNCED BEFORE I ENTER ANY ROOM HE'S IN.

YOU HAVE TO ANNOUNCE YOURSELF?

A QUICK, "OKAY IF I COME IN?" FROM THE ADJACENT ROOM.

OTHERWISE HE GETS A LITTLE TESTY. HENCE THE SCRATCH.

JUST A SMALL LACERATION -- AGAIN, NO BIGGIE.

[ GASPS ] KIRK, HE GOT YOUR NECK.

THAT WAS ANOTHER MISTAKE OF MINE.

I PUT HIS FOOD BOWL DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM.

HE DOESN'T LIKE THAT -- OR SHE DOESN'T.

SHE? I THOUGHT KIRK WAS A BOY. THAT WAS JUST A GUESS.

HE ACTUALLY HASN'T EXPOSED HIS UNDERSIDE TO ME YET -- OR HERS.

WELL, HERE'S HOPING YOUR CAT EXPOSES ITSELF TO YOU SOON.

FROM YOUR MOUTH TO GOD'S EARS. SEE YA.

SEE YA.

HI, THERE. HI.

SO YOU PULLED THE THANKSGIVING SHIFT, HUH?

YEAH, I GET TIME AND A HALF. GOOD, GOOD.

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. SAME HERE. UM, SO, I GOT TO WORK.

RIGHT, RIGHT. TAYLOR'S A DICTATOR.

YEAH.

DEAN, WAIT.

UM...

LOOK, WE LIVE IN A TEENY, TINY, LITTLE HAMLET HERE.

I MEAN, STICK IT IN AN ENVELOPE,

AND WE COULD MAIL THE WHOLE TOWN FOR A BUCK, 40.

MAKES AVOIDING PEOPLE TOUGH AND UNCOMFORTABLE.

I KNOW.

I HATE HIDING FROM PEOPLE,

ESPECIALLY WHEN I DON'T WANT TO HIDE FROM THEM.

YOU WERE A PAL. YOU WERE SO GOOD TO RORY.

YOU WERE THE BEST FIRST BOYFRIEND A MOTHER COULD HOPE FOR.

THANKS. IT'S OKAY TO KEEP AVOIDING ME IF YOU WANT.

I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU DON'T NEED TO, OKAY?

JUST BECAUSE YOU AND RORY BROKE UP DOESN'T MEAN WE DID.

GOOD. THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR.

WELL, HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

YEAH, HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

WHEW!

OH, PRETTY. THEY HAD A GOOD SELECTION TODAY. YOU GET EVERYTHING?

YOU GET EVERYTHING? AND THEN SOME. LOOK.

CHOCOLATE TURKEYS! NICE!

I THINK THEY'LL ADD A FESTIVE AIR.

DEFINITELY. SO...WAS HE IN THERE?

YEAH, HE WAS.

GOOD, GOOD. I HOPE HE'S GOOD.

DID HE SEEM GOOD? HE SEEMED GOOD. HE'S GETTING TIME AND A HALF.

GOOD, GOOD. SO LET'S GO EAT.

AND EAT AND EAT.

AND EAT AND EAT AND EAT. AND EAT.

AND EAT SOME MORE.

AH, THE GILMORES. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING. COME IN.

In a good mood this year. Downright chipper.

SO, UM, MRS. KIM, WE BROUGHT GIFTS.

FLOWERS...

AND CRANBERRY SAUCE -- OUR LITTLE THANKSGIVING TRADITION.

CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MUCH. THAT'S WHAT WE SAY.

PLUS, A CHOCOLATE TURKEY. WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THIS?

LET KIDS SHARE IT. THEN SEND A BLANK CHECK TO THEIR DENTISTS?

THEY COULD PLAY WITH IT. PLAY WITH CHOCOLATE? IT'S MISSING IT'S HEAD.

OOH, THAT ONE'S OURS. [ LAUGHS ]

HERE, THIS ONE HAS A HEAD. HERE YOU GO.

OKAY.

MY ARMS ARE TOO SHORT TO BOX WITH MRS. KIM.

THE SINGING'S ALREADY BEGUN.

HMM, WHO'S THAT PLAYING GUITAR? HE LOOKS FAMILIAR.

OH, MY GOD! THAT'S LANE'S DAVE.

OH, YEAH, IT IS. HE'S ALL NEAT AND TIDY.

HE'S GONE CORPORATE. HE'S GONE KOREAN.

OH, HEY. HI.

HEY, YOURSELF. HOW'D YOU GET YOUR MOM TO LET YOU --

COME ON, GIRLS. LET'S GET YOU SOME PUNCH.

WHAT'S GOING ON? THAT IS NOT DAVE RYGALSKI.

OH, INTRIGUE.

WHO IS IT?

I MEAN, NOT THE ONE I'M IN A BAND WITH.

THAT IS DAVE RYGALSKI, LOCAL CHRISTIAN GUITAR PLAYER

THAT MY MOM AND I MET BRIEFLY AT THE DANCE MARATHON

AND THAT I COINCIDENTALLY RAN ACROSS AGAIN WHEN I FOUND

HIS AD SEEKING CHRISTIAN GUITAR-ACCOMPANIMENT GIGS

UP ON OUR CHURCH BULLETIN BOARD.

I PUT THE FAKE AD UP AT CHURCH, AND PRETENDED TO FIND IT WITH MY MOM NEXT TO ME.

YOU'RE GOOD. ARE YOU GUYS DATING?

WE'RE LAYING THE GROUNDWORK.

IF SHE GETS TO KNOW HIM AND APPROVES OF HIM,

WE WON'T HAVE TO HIDE ANYTHING.

EXCEPT HOW YOU MET. AND WHO HE REALLY IS.

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IT'S COMPLETELY FIB-FREE.

SHH! SHH! WATCH IT. YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT.

10% OFF FOR COUSINS, 20% FOR NEPHEWS AND NIECES.

YOUNG KWAN, GOOD TO SEE YOU. HEE KYUNG, HI. OH, I LOVE YOUR HAIR.

SU NAM, HI.

HO KYUNG, WAN KYU, HOW GREAT TO SEE YOU.

OH, MRS. KIM, JUST A BEAUTIFUL TABLE, AS ALWAYS.

TRY THE TOFURKEY -- TURKEY MADE FROM TOFU.

OH, WE DEFINITELY WILL.

AND MEET THE GUITAR PLAYER --

NICE YOUNG MAN, BIG FAN OF TOFURKEY.

DAVID, THIS IS RORY GILMORE AND MRS. GILMORE.

HI. NICE TO MEET YOU. SAME HERE.

I THINK I'VE SEEN YOU AROUND TOWN. THAT MIGHT BE A POSSIBILITY.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING. SAME TO YOU.

HYMN 17, PLEASE. YES, MA'AM.

HE SEEMS LIKE A VERY UPRIGHT YOUNG MAN.

NOT BAD SIGHT READER EITHER.

YOU'RE TAKING TOFURKEY?

MM-HMM. AND SOME EXTRA NAPKINS TO SLIP THE TOFURKEY INTO

WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING, AND THEN TOSS THEM AWAY.

VERY SMART.

MAYBE WE COULD TAKE A BREAK FROM THE HYMNS WHILE WE EAT?

NO BREAK. HE'S PAID TO PLAY.

WE CAN QUIT SINGING FOR NOW, BUT HE SHOULD PLAY SOFT IN THE BACKGROUND, OKAY?

YES, MA'AM.

[ "THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD" PLAYS ]

[ GUITAR STRUMMING PLACIDLY ]

THE BEST-LAID PLANS. HOW DO YOU FEEL?

I ATE TOFURKEY. HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?

TOFURKIER.

DRAT MRS. KIM FOR NOT TAKING HER EYES OFF ME.

IT'S LIKE SHE WAS ANTICIPATING MY NAPKIN MANEUVER.

HI, HON. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

THANK GOD CIVILIZATION HAS ARRIVED.

WHAT'S WRONG?

DO YOU NOT SEE WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT IS A VAT OF BOILING OIL.

REALLY? WHERE'S QUASIMODO? THIS IS NOT A JOKING MATTER.

WHAT IS THE OIL FOR? FOR POURING ON VISIGOTHS.

LORELAI! WHEN ELSE AM I GONNA GET TO USE MY VISIGOTH MATERIAL?

WHAT'S THE OIL FOR? MY BEAUTIFUL, EXPENSIVE, ORGANICALLY GROWN TURKEY.

I DON'T GET IT. FEW DAYS AGO, JACKSON ASKED IF HE COULD COOK THE TURKEY.

I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA ROAST IT --

SOMETHING SIMPLE -- SO I SAID YES, FIGURING

THAT THE MINUTE HE PUT IT IN THE OVEN AND LEAVES THE KITCHEN,

I COULD SNEAK IN AND GIVE IT A NICE HERB-BUTTER RUB

AND STUFF IT WITH A PANCETTA-CHESTNUT STUFFING.

'CAUSE HE'D NEVER NOTICE THAT.

EXACTLY. THEN THE PROPANE TANK ARRIVED

AND THE INDUSTRIAL BURNER AND 15 GALLONS OF PEANUT OIL.

THEN HE SPRINGS IT ON ME, "I'M GONNA DEEP-FRY A TURKEY."

DEEP-FRIED TURKEY. INTERESTING.

I TRIED TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT, BUT HE'S EXCITED ABOUT IT.

WHAT'S KEEPING JACKSON? IS HE ON THE POT OR SOMETHING?

LOTS OF PRECIOUS MEMORIES IN THE MAKING HERE.

HEY, JACKSON, GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE WITH THAT GOBBLER!

A GOBBLER. MAYBE IT WON'T BE THAT BAD.

YEAH, DEEP-FRYING IS KIND OF IN NOW.

I DON'T CARE. YOU DON'T DEEP-FRY TURKEY.

FILLET OF FISH -- YES.

A BATCH OF FRIES -- YES.

A DOUGHNUT -- YES.

NOT TURKEY.

COME ON! LET'S GET GOING!

YEAH, WE'RE HUNGRY!

JACKSON! JACKSON!

JACKSON! JACKSON! JACKSON! JACKSON!

JACKSON! JACKSON! JACKSON! JACKSON!

DID SOMEONE SAY, "JACKSON"?!

[ CHEERING ]

WOW, IT'S LIKE THE THUNDERDOME IN HERE.

SHOULD HAVE JUST DRIVEN IT OUT ON A MONSTER TRUCK.

[ LAUGHTER ]

NICE.

HE'S SHAMELESSLY CATERING TO HIS DEMOGRAPHIC.

ARE YOU READY?!

I CAN'T LOOK.

10, 9, 8... 10, 9,... 10, 9,... 10, 9,...

THEY'RE COUNTING DOWN.

...3, 2, 1! ...3, 2, 1!

[ CHEERING ]

IT'S IN THE VAT. IT'S LIKE A DEATH IN THE FAMILY.

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE. THIS TOOK YOUR MIND OFF THE DINNER AT THE INN.

WHAT IF BOB DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING EQUALLY AWFUL?

I'VE GOT TO CALL HIM.

OH, HEY, GUYS. NEAT, HUH? AND IT ONLY TAKES 40 MINUTES.

HOW YOU DOING, HON?

OH, FINE, SWEETS.

AND KEEP 'EM COMING.

HEY, EVERYBODY.

OH, HEY, THERE, DOLLFACES. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

HEY.

WHAT'S THIS? FLOWERS.

WHAT DO I DO WITH THEM?

YOU PUT THEM IN A VASE WITH WATER. I DON'T HAVE A VASE.

EVERY YEAR! I DON'T HAVE VASES.

BUY A VASE. BUT I DON'T NEED A VASE 'CAUSE I NEVER HAVE FLOWERS.

EXCEPT WHEN WE BRING YOU FLOWERS EVERY YEAR AT THANKSGIVING.

BUY A VASE. STOP BRINGING ME FLOWERS.

WE HAVE THE SAME EXACT CONVERSATION EVERY YEAR.

AND EVERY YEAR YOU POINT THAT OUT.

AND EVERY YEAR YOU POINT THAT OUT.

AND WE PUT THE FLOWERS ON THE COUNTER AND FORGET THE UGLINESS.

AT LEAST WE HAVE A TRADITION.

GOOD. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. THAT'S OUR TABLE OVER THERE.

HEY, KIRK. [ GASPS ] OH, MY GOD!

WHAT HAPPENED?

I'M SCRATCHED OVER 60% OF MY BODY.

CAT KIRK AGAIN?

OW! SORRY.

I'M SO MAD AT THAT CAT.

VERY UNCOOL CAT.

I LOVE CATS, BUT I LOVE KIRK, TOO.

IT'S PRETTY MUCH 50/50, AND THAT'S A HIGH COMPLIMENT.

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

THE TENSION OF OUR STANDOFF WAS UNBEARABLE,

SO I GOT ON THE FLOOR AND TRIED TO PLAY WITH HIM.

IT'S A HIM? I CAUGHT A PEEK.

I ROLLED THIS LITTLE BALL OF YARN OVER ALL NICE AND GENTLE.

HE TRIED TO GARROTE ME WITH IT.

OH, MY GOD! VERY UNCOOL.

JUST GRABBED TWO ENDS WITH HIS PAWS AND CAME AT ME.

HE DOESN'T HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.

HE'S BEYOND THEM. HE'S SMART.

HE KNOWS THINGS -- SOMETIMES BEFORE THEY HAPPEN.

GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF. YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE WORST.

WHEN THE ATTACKS GOT PARTICULARLY BRUTAL,

I HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO STRIP NAKED

AND HIDE UNDERWATER IN THE BATHTUB.

I READ THAT CATS ARE AFRAID OF WATER.

THEY ARE! KIRK ISN'T.

HE SEEMED TO DERIVE GREATER POWER FROM THE WATER.

THAT'S WHEN THE BULK OF THE SCRATCHING HAPPENED.

WELL, THEN I THINK IT'S GOOD YOU'RE GIVING KIRK SPACE NOW.

JUST RELAX AND ENJOY YOUR FOOD.

I CAN'T TASTE MY FOOD.

WELL, THEN JUST TRY TO RELAX.

THANKS.

HEY.

HEY.

HI.

HI. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

SO, ARE YOU JOINING US?

UH, SURE, IF THAT'S OKAY.

YEAH, SIT, SIT.

GOD, I'M STARVED.

YOU COULD HAVE EATEN.

YOU KEPT TELLING ME NOT TO EAT.

YOU SAID WE WERE WAITING FOR THEM.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR US.

I WASN'T WAITING FOR YOU. IT JUST WORKED OUT THIS WAY.

RIGHT. LOOKS GREAT.

WHOA, WHOA. SHOULDN'T WE GIVE THANKS FIRST?

THANKS FOR WHAT?

THAT WE'RE NOT NATIVE AMERICANS WHO GOT THEIR LAND STOLEN

IN EXCHANGE FOR SMALLPOX-INFESTED BLANKETS.

AMEN. WHERE ARE YOU GUYS IN YOUR DAY?

WE HIT THE KIMS', WE HIT SOOKIE'S,

AND WE GO TO THE GRANDPARENTS FROM HERE. FULL DAY.

YOU CAN SKIP EATING THIS ONE IF YOU WANT.

JUST HAVE COKES OR SOMETHING. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

NO WAY. YOU'RE THE MAIN EVENT TODAY.

WHAT'S GOOD ARE THE YAMS.

GOT SOME MORE MARSHMALLOWS?

I CAN GRAB SOME.

REFILL SOME COFFEES.

SO, NO OFFENSE, BUT LAME-O KISS.

WHAT?

LIKE A COUPLE CHICKENS PECKING EACH OTHER.

MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. IT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

I DON'T NEED A REVIEW. SORRY.

I'M JUST NOT GOOD WITH THE PUBLIC DISPLAYS.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE THAT PROBLEM WITH DEAN.

BUT NOW I FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY'S WATCHING ME.

PEOPLE ARE NOT WATCHING. YOU WERE WATCHING.

IT'S BIOLOGICALLY PREDETERMINED THAT I WATCH YOU.

I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS SECOND-BOYFRIEND THING IS SUPPOSED TO GO.

HE'S YOUR FIRST SECOND BOYFRIEND. GIVE IT TIME.

THE WHOLE TOWN GOT USED TO ME WITH DEAN.

IT'LL GET EASIER. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE HUNDREDS OF MEN.

GEE, THANKS.

MAYBE NOT HUNDREDS, BUT A COUPLE -- 3 -- MORE.

IT'LL GET EASIER. THEY'LL ADJUST TO SEEING YOU WITH JESS.

THEN THERE'S DEAN. WHAT DO I DO?

WELL, YOU KNOW, HE'LL BE MOVING ON, TOO.

OH. RIGHT.

OF COURSE HE WILL. YEAH.

WE'RE OUT OF HERE. TIME TO WALK SOME OF THIS OFF.

WE'D HAVE TO WALK TO CHINA. WHICH WAY'S CHINA?

THATAWAY. HAVE A GOOD NIGHT.

THANKS. THAT WAS SOME HALF-ASSED KISS YOU TWO HAD.

YOU GOT TO GIVE IT A LITTLE SOMETHING, HONEY.

BYE, BABETTE. BYE, MOREY. BYE.

THE WHOLE TOWN IS WATCHING.

YOU READY FOR THIS? OF COURSE.

EVEN WITH THE COLD WAR? I CAN MANAGE.

IT'S BEEN A BIT COLDER THESE PAST FEW WEEKS.

OH, NO, I'M FINE. BECAUSE IN TWO HOURS --

I DO PLAN ON EXTRICATING US FROM HERE IN EXACTLY TWO HOURS --

THE NIGHT WILL BE OVER, AND I WON'T HAVE TO SEE THEM

AGAIN UNTIL NEXT YEAR. START YOUR STOPWATCH.

HELLO. HI, GRANDMA. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

THANK YOU, RORY. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, LORELAI.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

UGH. 1 HOUR, 59 MINUTES, AND 40 SECONDS.

OH, WOW. IT'S A PIANO PLAYER.

I FOUND HIM AT NORDSTROM'S. WAS HE ON SALE?

I THOUGHT MUSIC WOULD ADD A NICE TOUCH.

HE KNOWS EVERY SONG EVER WRITTEN.

"FREE BIRD"!

LORELAI, PLEASE. COME ALONG. EVERYONE'S HERE.

WE'RE ALL HERE.

OH, GOOD. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, RORY.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, GRANDPA.

LORELAI. DAD.

THESE ARE OUR GUESTS -- NATALIE AND DOUGLAS SWOPE.

YOU TWO HAVE MET. AT THE AUCTION.

GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN. NICE TO MEET YOU.

YES. YOU TOO.

AND THIS IS OUR INTERNATIONAL CONTINGENT,

CLAUDE AND MONIQUE CLEMENCEAU.

THEY'RE JUST IN FROM FRANCE.

CLEMENCEAU -- I WOULD HAVE GUESSED SPAIN.

MADAME, HOW ARE YOU?

OH!

MONIQUE, VOICI MA FILLE ET MA PETITE-FILLE.

ELLES SONT SI JOLIES.

MY MONIQUE SPEAKS ONLY FRENCH,

SO PLEASE EXCUSE THE INCONVENIENCE.

THAT'S FINE. I LOVE FRENCH.

SHE REALLY WANTS TO LEARN ENGLISH.

JE LEUR AI DIT QUE TU VOULAIS à PRENDRE L'ANGLAIS.

L'ANGLAIS, OUI. JE VIEUX à PRENDRE,

MAIS JE SUIS TELLEMENT PARESSEUSE.

PRENDS TU TEMPS, MONIQUE.

MERCI.

THAT'S WHY I LOVE IT WHEN THE CLEMENCEAUS VISIT.

IT GIVES ME THE OPPORTUNITY TO HAUL OUT MY RUSTY FRENCH.

YOUR FRENCH IS WONDERFUL. IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

OH, NO, NO, NO. TU ES TRèS GENTIL.

PLEASE, SIT, SIT, SIT. MERCI.

SO, RORY, YOU SPEAK FRENCH AT ALL?

JUST A TINY, LITTLE BIT.

UN TOUT PETIT PEU? OUI, UN TOUT PETIT PEU.

AND YOU? EVEN LESS.

VOULEZ-VOUS COUCHER AVEC MOI CE SOIR?

LORELAI. IT'S JUST A JOKE.

ASKING MY FRIEND TO GO TO BED WITH YOU IS A JOKE?

IT'S A SONG.

C'EST UNE CHANSON DU POP!

IT'S A POP SONG. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

"LADY MARMALADE."

THAT'S VERY, VERY FUNNY.

OH, WELL, THANK YOU.

YOU NEED A DRINK, OUI?

MARTINI WITH A TWIST, DAD.

ALRIGHT.

IS THIS YOUR FIRST AMERICAN THANKSGIVING, CLAUDE?

IT IS. I'VE SEEN IT IN THE MOVIES.

PEOPLE SEEM TO EAT UNTIL THEY CAN'T EAT ANY MORE.

THAT'S ABOUT IT. IT'S ABOUT GIVING THANKS.

WE HAVE A LOT TO GIVE THANKS FOR IN THIS COUNTRY.

I START EACH DAY GIVING THANKS FOR THREE THINGS --

CUBAN CIGARS, FRENCH CHAMPAGNE, AND GORGEOUS WOMEN.

I MUST GIVE EXTRA THANKS FOR THE EXTRAORDINARY GROUP TONIGHT.

DOUGLAS, RICHARD, LEAVE US, WON'T YOU?

WHAT? JUST ANOTHER JOKE.

I MISSED ANOTHER JOKE?

YOU HAVE YOUR MOTHER'S WIT.

I WISH SHE'D GIVE IT BACK.

EMILY MENTIONED YOU WERE COMING FROM ANOTHER FUNCTION.

THIS IS YOUR SECOND DINNER?

FOURTH, ACTUALLY. FOURTH!

THANK YOU FOR FITTING US IN, LORELAI.

DON'T WORRY, DAD. YOU'RE THE MAIN EVENT.

AN HOUR, 56 MINUTES.

BEAUTIFUL TABLE, EMILY.

YOU'VE OUTDONE YOURSELF YET AGAIN.

OH, IT'S NOTHING.

WELL, IS EVERYONE SETTLED? IS EVERYONE COMFY?

YES. YES, DAD. WE'RE FINE.

WELL, THEN LET'S GET GOING.

[ GASPING ]

GORGEOUS! WONDERFUL.

IS IT FOR US OR THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD?

[ LAUGHTER ]

VERY NICE.

OH, HO. WHO GETS THE BIG PIECE?

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO KEEP CARVING?

THAT WAS STRICTLY CEREMONIAL.

CEREMONIAL? CEREMONIAL.

CéRéMONIAL. CéRéMONIAL.

START ON THE SALADS.

IS THERE ANYTHING CEREMONIAL ABOUT THE SALADS?

DO WE CARVE A CROUTON?

NO. NO CEREMONY.

THE SALAD'S GREAT.

I'M SURPRISED YOU CAN EAT AT THIS POINT.

THERE'S STILL ROOM.

WE'LL ADD ON. I KNOW A GOOD CONTRACTOR.

SHE'S LIKE YOUR JERRY LEWIS.

DID YOUR GRANDMOTHER SAY YOU WERE A SENIOR?

YOU'RE GOING THROUGH THIS HORRIBLE PERIOD

OF APPLYING TO COLLEGE.

IT'S NOT SO HORRIBLE.

SHE'S GOT IT PRETTY WELL COVERED. THAT'S RIGHT.

ALL YOUR APPLICATIONS ARE IN? I'VE APPLIED.

WE HAVE A GRANDSON YOUR AGE GOING THROUGH HELL.

HE'S ALREADY BEEN TURNED DOWN FOR EARLY ADMISSION TO STANFORD.

TOOK IT PRETTY HARD.

CHILDREN PUT SO MUCH STRESS ON THEMSELVES THESE DAYS.

IT'S PRETTY STRESSFUL.

HE'S WAITING TO HEAR FROM HIS BACKUPS.

I'VE A GRANDSON WHO LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER IN ORLANDO.

HE'S GOING THROUGH A VERY SIMILAR THING.

HOW DO THEY LIKE ORLANDO?

IT'S ALL MICKEY MOUSE THIS AND MICKEY MOUSE THAT.

THEY WANT TO DIE.

WHERE DID YOU APPLY? HARVARD.

NO WORD YET? I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO HEAR FOR A WHILE.

WHERE ELSE? WHERE ELSE?

WHERE ELSE DID YOU APPLY?

WE'RE SO CURIOUS.

IT'S LIKE WE'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH IT OURSELVES.

I'M PRETTY MUCH COUNTING ON HARVARD.

YOU DIDN'T APPLY TO JUST HARVARD, DID YOU?

WELL, NO.

NO?

AM I PRYING? NO.

WE APPLIED ELSEWHERE?

YOU CAN'T JUST APPLY TO ONE PLACE.

IS THAT TRUE? PRETTY MUCH.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? I WAS GOING TO.

YOU HAVE TO BE SAFE.

MY GRANDSON -- 6 SCHOOLS. SAME WITH DUSTIN.

W-WHERE ELSE DID YOU APPLY?

SOME OTHER SCHOOLS.

IF YOU'RE AIMING AT HARVARD,

THAT WOULD BE PRINCETON, YALE, MAYBE VASSAR, WESLEYAN.

CERTAINLY YALE BECAUSE OF RICHARD'S CONNECTIONS.

THOSE ARE THE KINDS OF PLACES, YEP.

THE KINDS OF PLACES OR THE PLACES, RORY?

[ SIGHS ] PRINCETON.

UM...YALE.

YALE?

YES. YALE, DAD?

THIS IS THE FIRST I'M HEARING ABOUT IT.

OH, BULL. MOM.

LORELAI! YOU DID THIS?

I HAVEN'T DISCUSSED THIS SINCE THE DEBACLE AT THE CAMPUS.

YOU FORCED HER HAND. I DID NOTHING OF THE SORT!

YOU MADE IT SEEM LIKE YOU'D BE DEEPLY HURT

IF SHE DIDN'T APPLY TO YALE. SHE'S VERY SENSITIVE,

SO THAT'S AS GOOD AS FORCING HER HAND.

YOU WANTED HER TO GO TO YALE, DIDN'T YOU? THAT WASN'T A SECRET.

LORELAI NE VEUT PAS QUE RORY AILLE YALE.

JE SUIS DéSOLé DE CE QUI SE PASSE ICI.

STICK TO ENGLISH. GRANDPA DIDN'T FORCE MY HAND.

YOU WEREN'T AWARE HE WAS DOING IT.

I NEEDED A BACKUP.

BUT WHY YALE? I COULD LIVE AT HOME.

YOU! WHAT?

THAT WAS YOUR THING.

I'M AFRAID WE STARTED THIS.

THIS IS NOT YOUR DOING.

ENCORE UNE FOIS, JE SUIS DéSOLé.

I NEVER SPOKE TO RORY. I FIGURED IT OUT ON MY OWN.

THERE HAVE BEEN NO CONVERSATIONS?

I CAN READ A MAP. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!

AND PAST INDELICATE. WE HAVE GUESTS.

YES. I'M SORRY. I APOLOGIZE.

THIS IS PARANOIA, LORELAI. THERE'S BEEN NO CONSPIRING.

I'M NOT BEING PARANOID.

FOR 17 YEARS, SHE WAS GOING TO HARVARD,

AND NOW SHE'S APPLIED TO YALE AND SHE'S MIMICKING YOU.

THIS IS JUST CRAZY.

ELLE A DIT QUE "C'EST DE LA FOLIE."

EXCUSE ME, PLEASE.

IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE.

THIS IS JAMAICA COMPARED TO IN THERE.

IT'S JUST AN ALTERNATIVE TO HARVARD -- A BACKUP.

IT CHANGES NOTHING.

NO, NO.

LORELAI --

MOM, I DON'T WANT TO TALK.

DO YOU BELIEVE WE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS?

JUST FOR A SECOND, MOM, PLEASE.

JUST LET ME DIGEST THIS FOR A SECOND.

ALL THIS YALE STUFF...

UGH!

YOU CAN'T EVEN LET RORY HAVE ONE PIECE OF OUR LIVES.

YOU HATE US THAT MUCH.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

GOODBYE. DRIVE SAFE.

EXCELLENT THANKSGIVING, MAMA. I THINK PEOPLE HAD FUN.

AND IT WAS NICE OF YOU TO ONLY CHARGE HALF PRICE

ON THE CHAIR THAT JUNG HEE BROKE.

WELL, I GUESS I'LL BE GOING.

ALRIGHT. YOU DID A GOOD JOB.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME, DAVID.

YOU'RE WELCOME, MRS. KIM. I ENJOYED IT.

YES. THANK YOU. YOU'RE WELCOME.

HERE. SOME RICE, SPINACH, LOTS OF TOFURKEY,

AND SOMETHING FOR YOUR TIME.

IT WAS VERY NICE. THANK YOU. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

GOODBYE.

KEEP CLEARING. I'M GOING TO START ON THE KITCHEN.

OH, MAMA, LOOK. DAVE'S BIBLE. HE FORGOT IT.

I'LL RUN IT OUT TO HIM.

WAIT!

WE'RE GONNA MISS HIM.

LET ME SEE THAT.

"THIS BIBLE BELONGS TO GOD,

BUT IS BEING USED BY DAVE RYGALSKI."

GO ON.

WOW. YOU RUN REALLY QUIET.

SORRY. I'M SORRY -- ABOUT EVERYTHING.

WHAT?

I HAD NO IDEA SHE'D MAKE YOU PLAY 5 STRAIGHT HOURS.

IT'S OKAY. YOUR HANDS MUST BE DEAD.

THEY'RE A LITTLE NUMB,

BUT I GOT THESE KURT COBAIN CALLUSES NOW.

THE WHOLE CHARADE, THE FAKE FLYER,

AND EVERYTHING -- IT WAS TOO MUCH. LANE, IT'S FINE.

I'VE GOTTEN 3 OTHER CALLS FOR PAYING GIGS. I SHOULD BE PAYING YOU A COMMISSION.

THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.

AND CHECK IT OUT -- 20 BUCKS.

WOW. SHE LIKED YOU.

WE'LL PUT IT TOWARDS OUR FIRST REAL DATE.

REALLY? AFTER ALL THIS?

THE MARATHON HYMNS, THE CRABBY KOREANS,

YOU STILL WANT TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME?

I'VE GOT TO GO.

BUT I'M GONNA CALL YOU TOMORROW.

[ EXHALES ]

ARE YOU MAD? NO, I'M NOT MAD.

YOU SEEM MAD. I'M NOT MAD.

WHAT ARE YOU FEELING?

I WOULDN'T KNOW HOW TO WORD IT.

TRY.

[ SIGHS ]

SEE, MY HEAD KNOWS

THAT WHICHEVER ONE OF THESE PLACES YOU GO --

HARVARD, PRINCETON... YALE --

IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME

AND YOU'RE GONNA COME OUT ON THE OTHER SIDE

AN EVEN MORE AMAZING YOU.

BUT I JUST WISH MY HEAD COULD SIT DOWN AND HAVE A CHAT

WITH THAT GNAWING FEELING IN MY GUT

THAT'S THERE EVERY TIME MY PARENTS GET INVOLVED IN ANYTHING

AND TELL IT IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.

NICE TRY.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT HURTS!

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

WATCH IT!

[ LAUGHTER ]

CAKE! CAKE!

DEEP-FRIED CAKE!

WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!

DIBS ON THE DEEP-FRIED CAKE!

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN YOUR DEEP-FRIED BISCOTTI.

SOOKIE.

OH! HI THERE.

YOU OKAY? THIS TASTES GOOD.

IT LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE DEEP FRYING... EVERYTHING.

VEGETABLES, MASHED POTATOES, BUTTER, PICKLES,

SALT, A NAPKIN.

AND YET YOU'RE VERY SERENE.

YOU'RE PRACTICALLY FLOATING.

WELL, YOU CAUGHT ME AT A GOOD TIME, LADIES.

I'VE ALREADY GONE THROUGH THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEVING --

DENIAL, ANGER...

I DON'T REMEMBER THESE TWO,

BUT THEY WERE SERVED ON THE ROCKS WITH SALT!

NOW I'M JUST HAPPILY "ENSCOTCHED" IN ACCEPTANCE.

ENSCOTCHED?

ENSCONCED. ENSCONCED! THAT'S IT!

I DO BELIEVE I HEARD PHIL SUGGEST THROWING JUNIOR IN.

JUNIOR? HIS NEPHEW.

WHOA! I CHIMED IN ON THAT ONE.

WHAT HAPPENED OVER THERE?

THEY SET THE LAWN ON FIRE, BUT PHIL SAYS IT'S OKAY

'CAUSE IT'LL GROW BACK TWICE AS LUSH.

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID WHEN HE BROKE MY SALAD BOWL

THAT I BROUGHT BACK FROM BELGIUM.

MAYBE IT'LL GROW BACK, TOO, HUH?

[ Laughing ] PHIL IS A RIOT!

AM I CRYING OR LAUGHING?

LAUGHING. GOOD.

WHO'S THAT? IT'S LANE.

IT JUST SAYS, "BIBLE KISS BIBLE."

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I HAVE NO IDEA. GOOD BAND NAME, THOUGH.

HONEY, WE SHOULD GET GOING.

ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY? I'M SOOKIE.

YEAH, I KNOW. YOU'LL GO TO BED SOON.

UNLESS THEY DEEP-FRIED IT. I'M SURE THEY HAVEN'T.

[ Laughing ] OKAY.

WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

POOR THING.

OH. SHE MAY NOT REMEMBER ANY OF IT.

DEEP-FRIED SHOE!

DEEP-FRIED SHOE!

WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO!

YOU SHOULD GET MORE TRASH CANS.

I DON'T NEED MORE.

YOU MAKE ME RUN AROUND TOWN FOR A PLACE TO DUMP THIS.

JUST DUMP IT IN ONE OF TAYLOR'S BINS.

IT GETS IT OUT OF HERE. IT'LL DRIVE TAYLOR CRAZY.

HI, GUYS! WE'RE OUT OF FOOD.

OH, PLEASE. WE'RE NOT EATING FOR A YEAR. OR TILL TOMORROW MORNING.

WHICHEVER COMES FIRST. HI, ST. NICK.

TELL HIM HE NEEDS TO GET MORE TRASH CANS. JUST GO.

YOU GOT ANY COFFEE? THAT I'VE GOT.

HEY, DID I SEE FLAMES COMING

FROM SOOKIE'S PLACE ABOUT A HALF-HOUR AGO?

YEAH. WHY?

UGH! HE SHOULD GET MORE TR--

HI. HI.

LATER.

NOTHING TO SAY? GUESS NOT.

YOU USUALLY HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

I GUESS I'M ALL TALKED OUT.

WHY ARE YOU WALKING AWAY?

IT'S GETTING A LITTLE "WEST SIDE STORY" HERE,

AND MY DANCING SKILLS ARE NOT UP TO SNUFF.

BUT NOW'S YOUR CHANCE. THERE'S NO ONE ELSE AROUND.

GO HOME. COOL OFF.

COME ON. MAKE ONE OF YOUR BOY SCOUT REFERENCES.

I GOT MY APRON. YOU WANT ME TO PUT IT ON

AND GIVE YOU A LITTLE INSPIRATION?

WHAT HAPPENED? YOU SUDDENLY LIKE ME NOW?

I WAS JUST ABOUT TO INVITE YOU CAMPING.

GOOD. OKAY. NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE.

I'M NOT GONNA FIGHT YOU, DEAN. WHY?

IF I FIGHT YOU, RORY'S GONNA THINK IT'S MY FAULT.

JUST FORGET IT. GO HOME. LET IT REST.

SO RORY'S GOT A NICE LITTLE HOLD ON YOU NOW, HUH?

JEEZ!

DON'T DO THAT. HOW DOES IT FEEL?

I'M WITH RORY AND YOU'RE NOT.

WHEN ALL THIS HAPPENED,

I FIGURED I'D JUST STAY OUT OF EVERYONE'S WAY,

THAT THAT WOULD BE EASIEST.

BUT NOW...

I'M LOOKING AT YOU, AND I'M THINKING,

"I'M GONNA RUN FROM HIM -- THE GLAD MAN?"

THIS IS MY TOWN. I'M NOT HIDING.

AND I DON'T HAVE TO BE REMOTELY CALM AROUND YOU ANYMORE,

AND I LIKE THAT FEELING.

I LIKE IT A LOT.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, JESS.

[ BANGING ]

SO, HOW DID THE FOUR DINNERS WORK OUT?

YOU GUYS MUST FEEL MORE STUFFED THAN YOU'VE EVER BEEN.

IS THIS MORE STUFFED THAN THE GREAT SIX FLAGS HOT-DOG CONSUMPTION OF '99?

NO. OR THE TAFFY BINGE OF '97.

WE DIDN'T EAT AT MY PARENTS BECAUSE OF THE UPSET,

SO WE REALLY HAD THREE DINNERS, NOT FOUR.

WHICH MEANS... WHAT?

WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SKIP ROLLS.

[ GASPS ] OH, YEAH. DO YOU HAVE ANY ROLLS LEFT?

NO. COME ON.

JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE WALK HOME.

I DON'T SEE HOW YOU DO IT.

YOU'RE NOT US, ARE YOU? NIGHT, LUKE. NIGHT, LUKE.

NIGHT.

THIS HAS BEEN A NICE THANKSGIVING.

VERY.

NICER FOR SOME THAN OTHERS, THOUGH.

YEAH.

NIGHT, KIRK.

NIGHT.