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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,740 --> 00:00:00,960 [Music] 2 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:03,240 receiving 3 00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,000 Hey babe 4 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,220 Alyssa 5 00:00:08,220 --> 00:00:11,000 Alyssa 6 00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:32,149 [Music] 7 00:00:32,820 --> 00:00:35,000 foreigner 8 00:00:38,970 --> 00:00:43,290 [Music] 9 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:54,220 [Music] 10 00:00:54,379 --> 00:00:58,079 I wanted to see if there were any marks 11 00:00:58,079 --> 00:01:00,840 ok and turn them around, ok turn them around 12 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:03,780 please, ok, now I need you to drop the 13 00:01:03,780 --> 00:01:05,960 to go back 14 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,080 OK everything is fine 15 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,979 Are you feeling safe after yes, ok 16 00:01:13,979 --> 00:01:16,180 Thank you thank you 17 00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:22,380 [Music] 18 00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:25,640 97 for 19 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:30,000 a little bluer today 20 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,340 capillary refilling is good, but it 21 00:01:32,340 --> 00:01:34,259 nails are more blue than pink today 22 00:01:34,259 --> 00:01:38,000 but her fingertips are hot 23 00:01:38,759 --> 00:01:41,759 foreigner 24 00:01:42,690 --> 00:01:45,840 [Music] 25 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,600 86 over 49 26 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,060 . 42. 27 00:01:51,060 --> 00:01:52,860 what happened yesterday 28 00:01:52,860 --> 00:01:54,720 [Music] 29 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,090 I think so, you had dinner 30 00:01:58,090 --> 00:02:00,060 [Music] 31 00:02:00,060 --> 00:02:01,860 you are getting dizzy 32 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:05,600 yes, I always do 33 00:02:06,550 --> 00:02:20,360 [Music] 34 00:02:22,870 --> 00:02:26,819 [Music] 35 00:02:26,819 --> 00:02:29,640 foreigner 36 00:02:29,640 --> 00:02:46,870 [Music] 37 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,620 get your jacket 38 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,879 Thank you, don't touch anything, we are 39 00:02:53,879 --> 00:02:55,260 let's look for everything 40 00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:58,640 I want you to do is just sit back and relax 41 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:06,540 now we have a safe, ok, any large size 42 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:09,120 sums of money you want to lock, ok 43 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:10,680 you are responsible for anything you block 44 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,019 in your wardrobe, ok, look at the wardrobe 45 00:03:13,019 --> 00:03:14,220 in all moments 46 00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:17,420 keep the key with you at all times 47 00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:29,400 ok Maria thank you and good luck 48 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,400 thanks 49 00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:38,280 so this is our dining room and what 50 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:39,959 you will see that it is published all over 51 00:03:39,959 --> 00:03:41,280 dining room we have some dinner 52 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,140 room rules we ask that you do not bring 53 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,720 any bag backpacks bags blankets 54 00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,760 jackets in the dining room for obvious 55 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,379 reasons we don't want anyone to hide 56 00:03:49,379 --> 00:03:51,920 food there 57 00:03:55,270 --> 00:04:09,810 [Music] 58 00:04:12,060 --> 00:04:14,519 ok, don't touch it with your face, okay? 59 00:04:14,519 --> 00:04:16,199 put something in it or have you been 60 00:04:16,199 --> 00:04:19,440 putting anything I didn't have 60 61 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:21,180 . Have you put something in it? 62 00:04:21,180 --> 00:04:22,560 even though Matt you take all your meds 63 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,380 orally yes and then I mean I was going 64 00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:26,820 for repetitions, but 65 00:04:26,820 --> 00:04:30,080 ok, not to the past 66 00:04:30,300 --> 00:04:36,020 no suicide attempt, but very close 67 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,060 tell me what very close means 68 00:04:39,060 --> 00:04:42,060 Um, I'm a nurse and I took some 69 00:04:42,060 --> 00:04:44,820 insulin from the hospital and it took a while 70 00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:48,080 a lot not to disinject me and then 71 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:52,139 One time I was breaking my pills to just 72 00:04:52,139 --> 00:04:54,600 push through my tube 73 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:57,139 and I don't know, I only stopped because 74 00:04:57,139 --> 00:04:59,520 I came, I was living at my brother's house 75 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,039 home and I couldn't leave my nephew and 76 00:05:02,039 --> 00:05:04,320 my brother and sister-in-law buying 77 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,220 my 78 00:05:05,220 --> 00:05:08,280 and my mother 79 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:11,699 it was probably the best my twin sister was 80 00:05:11,699 --> 00:05:13,860 It's probably the reason I didn't 81 00:05:13,860 --> 00:05:16,880 you have a twin sister 82 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:19,860 What medicine was that you were taking? 83 00:05:19,860 --> 00:05:21,780 crush 84 00:05:21,780 --> 00:05:25,759 and I practice a Seroquel Trazodone 85 00:05:25,759 --> 00:05:28,639 Ambien Klonopin 86 00:05:28,639 --> 00:05:33,259 Risperidol I haven't been saved enough 87 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:37,280 makes me so sad that things go 88 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:55,080 Do you want Neurontin? 89 00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,100 you can appear in my hand 90 00:05:58,139 --> 00:06:00,139 It is 91 00:06:02,639 --> 00:06:05,720 how sweet 92 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:09,319 thank you very much 93 00:06:09,479 --> 00:06:12,300 hello 94 00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:15,360 [Music] 95 00:06:29,699 --> 00:06:32,520 so confused when you talk about people 96 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:35,220 and I don't know, I thought your name was 97 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,560 Andy you thought my name is Angie where 98 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,600 hell you got Angie 99 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:43,380 That's what you said Angie Polly Angie I 100 00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:44,460 I don't know 101 00:06:44,460 --> 00:06:46,800 Y'all wanna meet the snow patrols, yeah 102 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,600 the porch papers are fully 103 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:52,380 different from the rules there you 104 00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:55,860 can talk about calories and weight numbers 105 00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:58,860 a porch of smoke we don't care 106 00:06:58,860 --> 00:07:00,900 Um, you can hit the smoke porch 107 00:07:00,900 --> 00:07:03,419 In fact, we do this quite often, you can 108 00:07:03,419 --> 00:07:05,880 make fun of other residents in the smoke 109 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:08,880 balcony this is not a problem 110 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,440 um confidentiality and actually 111 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:11,900 confidentiality 112 00:07:11,900 --> 00:07:15,300 It works here, it's sacred here 113 00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:17,840 Yeah yeah 114 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,340 I should go to Disney World on 115 00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,500 first week of June with my whole family I 116 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:24,419 I spent my birthday and Christmas and New 117 00:07:24,419 --> 00:07:25,800 Year in the hospital 118 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,840 this is shit 119 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,520 I had this whole trip planned for my 120 00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,440 birthday on Monday and then they are still 121 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:33,880 celebrating my birthday without me 122 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:41,459 [Music] 123 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,419 I came to Renfrew after a suicide 124 00:07:48,419 --> 00:07:49,680 to try 125 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:53,220 more than two pieces of pizza that weren't 126 00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:55,740 obviously not the whole reason why I 127 00:07:55,740 --> 00:07:58,379 I tried to kill myself, that was just 128 00:07:58,379 --> 00:08:00,660 kind of straw that broke the camel's back 129 00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:01,710 back I think 130 00:08:01,710 --> 00:08:02,900 [Music] 131 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:07,860 dieting has always been a big part 132 00:08:07,860 --> 00:08:09,000 my life 133 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,160 I remember all the things that are 134 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,199 symptoms of eating disorders that 135 00:08:13,199 --> 00:08:17,220 I know that now I am being taught by my family to 136 00:08:17,220 --> 00:08:19,800 I cut my food into very small pieces and 137 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:23,360 chew very slowly and take your time and 138 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,520 you know, always drink water in between 139 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:30,660 so that your stomach fills up faster 140 00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:32,760 I was counting calories and counting fat 141 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,339 when I was 11 years old. 142 00:08:35,339 --> 00:08:37,279 happy birthday 143 00:08:37,279 --> 00:08:39,440 for you 144 00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:43,820 happy birthday 145 00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:47,540 happy birthday 146 00:08:49,519 --> 00:08:54,420 happy birthday guys 147 00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:04,620 ok, one more because I only have 10 148 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:06,560 minutes to download this thing 149 00:09:06,560 --> 00:09:10,040 one two three 150 00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:13,200 happy birthday Polly for cookies and 151 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,779 Thank you cupcakes and panic attacks 152 00:09:15,779 --> 00:09:18,380 after 153 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,260 She's fine, this piece of bill is a 154 00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:25,100 of my three desserts 155 00:09:25,620 --> 00:09:27,920 Of course 156 00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:31,019 It's really very sweet 157 00:09:31,019 --> 00:09:32,459 really 158 00:09:32,459 --> 00:09:34,540 like, not good, sweet 159 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:37,500 [Music] 160 00:09:37,500 --> 00:09:39,920 see, I wanted a branded muffin 161 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:43,940 with a candle inside 162 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,200 this time really sucks 163 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,500 I'll take a bite if I can for you 164 00:10:17,399 --> 00:10:21,079 I'll take it away because I'm so proud of you 165 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,320 thank you very much 166 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,420 this is a welcome community group 167 00:10:42,420 --> 00:10:44,519 community 168 00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,980 Would anyone like to tell us a little? 169 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:50,519 a little about the community group and read 170 00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:52,079 for us and give us the rules of the 171 00:10:52,079 --> 00:10:52,800 group 172 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:55,380 I go 173 00:10:55,380 --> 00:10:56,820 thanks 174 00:10:56,820 --> 00:10:59,459 This is the community, this is where you like 175 00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:02,640 can clash 176 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:06,240 ask or receive support 177 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:08,100 what else 178 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,860 Oh, you can't, you have to have a stick 179 00:11:10,860 --> 00:11:13,820 to talk 180 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,920 Don't expect colors or numbers to be said 181 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:18,720 in the room stay in the room 182 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,620 no three or four letter swear words, ok 183 00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:25,980 Today I know I'm taking a huge risk 184 00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,120 at lunch 185 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,959 and I just wanted to ask for support and 186 00:11:30,959 --> 00:11:33,600 putting me through this because 187 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,779 I'm not sure if I'll make it, so 188 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,060 and I know I need it because it's better 189 00:11:39,060 --> 00:11:41,420 for me 190 00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,380 ok, this is going to be kind of difficult and 191 00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:50,399 If I get out of line let me know 192 00:11:50,399 --> 00:11:52,200 speaking only for myself is difficult for me 193 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:54,240 Brittany to support you, but to offer 194 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:55,620 support for you 195 00:11:55,620 --> 00:11:57,000 why 196 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,800 Um, you've been here for like three or 197 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:00,600 four weeks and as I said before 198 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:04,260 you give people great advice, but 199 00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:06,480 Um, it's almost like you're completely 200 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:07,980 refused 201 00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:10,320 take your own advice 202 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:14,040 my feeling is that 203 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,779 you 204 00:12:15,779 --> 00:12:18,959 Do you want to be the sickest one here 205 00:12:18,959 --> 00:12:21,079 Hmm 206 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:23,579 you know what Brittany I'll just 207 00:12:23,579 --> 00:12:25,500 order that poly finish and then we can 208 00:12:25,500 --> 00:12:29,480 give you a chance to speak well 209 00:12:29,519 --> 00:12:32,120 hello 210 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,180 Why are you so worried about what others 211 00:12:45,180 --> 00:12:46,380 people think 212 00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:47,880 because that's what I've always cared about 213 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,980 over my whole life that's the reason 214 00:12:49,980 --> 00:12:54,079 Why did I lose weight in the first place? 215 00:12:56,050 --> 00:13:02,220 [Music] 216 00:13:02,220 --> 00:13:05,110 foreigner 217 00:13:05,110 --> 00:13:13,040 [Music] 218 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:15,959 I became a compulsive eater and 219 00:13:15,959 --> 00:13:17,399 closet eater 220 00:13:17,399 --> 00:13:19,260 I started dieting when I was 12 because 221 00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:20,399 I 222 00:13:20,399 --> 00:13:24,660 I had poor body image and many of my 223 00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:26,519 colleagues were much thinner than me and 224 00:13:26,519 --> 00:13:29,220 I was always that big girl and 225 00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:31,500 so I wanted to change this image 226 00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:34,440 when I didn't eat anything my mother ate 227 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,560 force myself to eat at least anything but 228 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,899 so I would purge this purge 229 00:13:39,899 --> 00:13:41,519 started as 230 00:13:41,519 --> 00:13:45,360 when I was 15 years old. I kept a secret for about 231 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,820 a month and then I told my mother 232 00:13:47,820 --> 00:13:49,500 she knew 233 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,540 she just didn't know what to do, she was 234 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:54,260 because she 235 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:55,260 she 236 00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:59,160 Um, she also has an eating disorder. 237 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,740 we would do this thing called truth and 238 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:02,720 Spittle 239 00:14:02,720 --> 00:14:06,060 and it would be 240 00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:08,760 be um, we would have so much fun 241 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,100 with that as if we bought bags and bags 242 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,160 of candy and just chew and 243 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,220 obviously let's unwind, we just thought 244 00:14:17,220 --> 00:14:19,019 It was a good time not to think of it as 245 00:14:19,019 --> 00:14:20,519 a problem 246 00:14:20,519 --> 00:14:23,660 and it was 247 00:14:23,839 --> 00:14:28,040 your hair yes 248 00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:32,940 What will you get out of this? 249 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,940 Hmm 250 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,820 No, I think I'm getting ready, wait a minute 251 00:14:38,820 --> 00:14:41,220 deer get a yogurt you nutritionists 252 00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:42,120 now 253 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:45,240 If I'm eating healthy, so are you 254 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,279 they even monitor to make sure you 255 00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:48,480 finish it 256 00:14:48,480 --> 00:14:52,139 yes, no, no, they don't trust you 257 00:14:52,139 --> 00:14:53,279 oh 258 00:14:53,279 --> 00:14:56,180 do you trust me 259 00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:59,100 that's better 260 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,839 I think that's it, I don't know what that is 261 00:15:00,839 --> 00:15:04,279 is it zucchini or not, but it is 262 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,380 very good 263 00:15:07,380 --> 00:15:09,660 the yellow thing is fine 264 00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:12,260 pumpkin 265 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,100 what is a black bean burger 266 00:15:16,100 --> 00:15:20,639 carrots in it, yes you want to try it 267 00:15:20,639 --> 00:15:23,420 I must 268 00:15:23,699 --> 00:15:25,740 Of course 269 00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:28,279 I don't like the rule 270 00:15:28,279 --> 00:15:31,800 and I can't, I can't eat the cheese I'm 271 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,759 already having dairy 272 00:15:41,820 --> 00:15:45,240 I think Kelly has that kind of 273 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,660 distorted image than 274 00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:51,060 82 pounds feels to her what it feels like 275 00:15:51,060 --> 00:15:54,360 very good and I wonder 276 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:56,699 What does it awaken in you? 277 00:15:56,699 --> 00:15:59,839 or like 278 00:16:04,019 --> 00:16:06,360 the other day we were at the beach 279 00:16:06,360 --> 00:16:08,820 and just like Kelly's 280 00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:10,500 not here 281 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:13,740 Do you think Kelly is big? 282 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:16,259 It is 283 00:16:16,259 --> 00:16:19,019 She doesn't even win, it's actually her 284 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:21,839 twin sister, yes, and it's not that I 285 00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:25,199 Don't think she is, so I just 286 00:16:25,199 --> 00:16:27,660 I don't know, I don't want to look 287 00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:30,540 exactly like her 288 00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:32,279 but I don't want to be bigger than her 289 00:16:32,279 --> 00:16:35,180 or right 290 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,500 and it seems like this exists 291 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:39,839 competitive aspect, as if I grew up 292 00:16:39,839 --> 00:16:43,320 than her and this is like the end of me 293 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:47,300 as if everyone loved her and 294 00:16:48,959 --> 00:16:51,540 is that everyone feels the same way 295 00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:53,639 about Sally 296 00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,680 You know that's how she used to be 297 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,320 before the eating disorder made her so 298 00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:01,440 depressed and all 299 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:05,240 I used to have a personality 300 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:15,539 my name is valti and nice to meet you 301 00:17:15,539 --> 00:17:19,319 ok, I have one of the side effects here 302 00:17:19,319 --> 00:17:21,539 We work on a tier system here that 303 00:17:21,539 --> 00:17:23,160 means that every patient who enters 304 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,199 enter level one, level one is kind 305 00:17:25,199 --> 00:17:27,179 from the base and then you climb 306 00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:29,640 levels each level basically gives you 307 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,740 Different privileges and if you can get it 308 00:17:31,740 --> 00:17:33,480 pushed down a level that allows you 309 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,220 different limitations, but let's 310 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:38,299 work in a positive direction 311 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,559 When I was seven 312 00:17:40,559 --> 00:17:42,419 my mother took me to the pediatrician 313 00:17:42,419 --> 00:17:44,700 because I think it was an ear infection or 314 00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:47,580 something and the pediatrician said what 315 00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:48,660 what are you going to do with your daughter? 316 00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:49,679 Weight 317 00:17:49,679 --> 00:17:51,419 and my mother said what do you mean by what 318 00:17:51,419 --> 00:17:54,059 I'll do better to wait, she's seven years old 319 00:17:54,059 --> 00:17:57,360 and what's wrong with her, wait 320 00:17:57,360 --> 00:18:01,260 and he said well she's fat and he said 321 00:18:01,260 --> 00:18:03,539 She's fat, she's seven years old, that's 322 00:18:03,539 --> 00:18:05,400 fat baby, they started me off with one 323 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:06,660 nutritionist at seven years old, I remember 324 00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:08,700 specifically it was a thousand calories 325 00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:09,780 meal plan 326 00:18:09,780 --> 00:18:12,059 and after I took off six kilos they 327 00:18:12,059 --> 00:18:14,100 He gave me a Snoopy notebook and I thought 328 00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:16,620 that was the best because 329 00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:18,120 It was positive reinforcement, I thought, hey 330 00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:21,980 this is great, you will smile for me 331 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:33,579 [Music] 332 00:18:36,980 --> 00:18:41,160 every few weeks or so, I would eat and 333 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:43,679 Purge, I would do it again and again 334 00:18:43,679 --> 00:18:45,360 and again 335 00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,919 for 336 00:18:46,919 --> 00:18:49,740 three four days and it was usually over 337 00:18:49,740 --> 00:18:51,900 resulting in dehydration and 338 00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:54,900 hospitalization 339 00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:57,360 because me too 340 00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:00,720 use diuretics use hydrochlorothiazide 341 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:04,820 and laxatives and enemas and 342 00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:08,660 [Music] 343 00:19:09,059 --> 00:19:12,480 binge, there was nothing pleasant about it 344 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,780 this 345 00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:17,460 started that morning at Dunkin 346 00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:21,360 Donuts and I got a dozen donuts that I 347 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:25,559 I went to Burger King 348 00:19:25,559 --> 00:19:30,240 and I took three cookies and made them 349 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,460 Maybe it's like bacon and cheese 350 00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:35,520 croissant so I went to McDonald's 351 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:38,580 and ordered some breakfast items like 352 00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:41,100 well and then I went to the supermarket 353 00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,860 store 354 00:19:43,860 --> 00:19:46,980 items for after breakfast to go half full 355 00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:48,720 gallons of 356 00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:52,559 ice cream two bottles of whipped cream 357 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:55,559 I don't know these pastry things 358 00:19:55,559 --> 00:19:57,780 peanut butter 359 00:19:57,780 --> 00:20:02,940 and marshmallows I went home and uh 360 00:20:02,940 --> 00:20:05,220 had the donuts 361 00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:06,780 It is 362 00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:09,120 McDonald's breakfasts and 363 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,740 Burger King, but at that moment I was so 364 00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:12,840 stuffed I thought I was going to die 365 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,140 I think I had chest pains and I 366 00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:17,640 so I purged 367 00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:22,080 and then there was the rest 368 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,880 and then for lunch 369 00:20:25,919 --> 00:20:29,700 went out and did it again 370 00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:31,380 any restrictions 371 00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:34,380 yes, it is generally restrictive 372 00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:35,940 that's it 373 00:20:35,940 --> 00:20:38,400 I try to keep my calories 374 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,320 Hmm 375 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:44,120 less than 200 per day 376 00:20:51,430 --> 00:20:53,480 [Music] 377 00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:57,000 I tried so hard to find satisfaction 378 00:20:57,000 --> 00:21:00,419 through other achievements, but 379 00:21:00,419 --> 00:21:03,419 nothing compares to this and me 380 00:21:03,419 --> 00:21:07,400 I remember at some point, years ago, I thought 381 00:21:07,679 --> 00:21:09,240 so be it 382 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,039 I mean, that's what I really want 383 00:21:11,039 --> 00:21:13,320 It's the only thing I want so much 384 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,640 I just want to be thin 385 00:21:17,220 --> 00:21:20,900 So if you have to die to get there 386 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:25,760 So be it, at least I'll get there 387 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:32,460 it's okay when you finish eating at 8 pm 388 00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:36,080 until the team can sign up here today 389 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,799 It's not a problem 390 00:21:53,580 --> 00:22:01,140 [Music] 391 00:22:03,990 --> 00:22:20,960 [Music] 392 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,150 thanks 393 00:22:23,150 --> 00:22:27,659 [Music] 394 00:22:27,659 --> 00:22:30,480 Hey, Brendan, come and sit down, do it 395 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:33,059 yourself comfortable 396 00:22:33,059 --> 00:22:34,620 how are you with your fluids birthday 397 00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:37,260 I don't know, I just heard a lot like that 398 00:22:37,260 --> 00:22:39,600 How Fluids Can Make You Bigger Than Food 399 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,480 do it and who told you that, oh yeah 400 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,580 It's flying well, you should 401 00:22:44,580 --> 00:22:45,900 listen to your nutritionist or should 402 00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:47,340 you hear the other eating disorder 403 00:22:47,340 --> 00:22:50,360 patients, no, no, I should listen 404 00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:53,820 just to let you know you're acting up 405 00:22:53,820 --> 00:22:56,120 in any other symptoms 406 00:22:56,120 --> 00:23:00,179 about this why the purge cut 407 00:23:00,179 --> 00:23:01,380 purge 408 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:03,799 you are purging 409 00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:08,159 What are you cleaning? I probably did in 410 00:23:08,159 --> 00:23:10,320 at least 12 times when I was here 411 00:23:10,320 --> 00:23:12,600 You purged 12 times so how come when I'm 412 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:13,980 asking how you are and are you 413 00:23:13,980 --> 00:23:16,080 never touched it, sorry, I never 414 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,059 read the opening to say yes 415 00:23:18,059 --> 00:23:20,760 roosting last night, no, no, when was the last 416 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,820 since you purged two days ago, ok 417 00:23:23,820 --> 00:23:27,299 I just hate getting bigger, I don't know 418 00:23:27,299 --> 00:23:29,960 if I want to talk about 419 00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:34,200 you know you're here for help and 420 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,419 we want to be able to help you, but part 421 00:23:36,419 --> 00:23:38,100 What's important is that this is not a locked facility 422 00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:39,960 you know and need to be honest with 423 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,159 us, I'm glad you're honest with us now 424 00:23:41,159 --> 00:23:43,440 however, I think you spent too much 425 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:45,960 time here not being honest with ourselves 426 00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:48,059 because you know that eating disorders are 427 00:23:48,059 --> 00:23:50,460 about hiding things and secrets 428 00:23:50,460 --> 00:23:52,320 so you know you need to get over it 429 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:53,640 part if you're really serious 430 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,240 improving 431 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:02,039 Hey mom, it's just me, I'm trying 432 00:24:02,039 --> 00:24:03,600 to contact you for a while 433 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,299 now, but I'll keep trying 434 00:24:06,299 --> 00:24:09,299 I really need to talk to you and I'm sure 435 00:24:09,299 --> 00:24:11,700 It's very important, so try 436 00:24:11,700 --> 00:24:14,580 keep an open line, okay, bye 437 00:24:14,580 --> 00:24:16,760 OK 438 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,120 Hmm 439 00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:33,559 hello 440 00:24:33,559 --> 00:24:36,600 oh, she's on the other phone, wait 441 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,980 in a second 442 00:24:37,980 --> 00:24:40,020 I am fine 443 00:24:40,020 --> 00:24:41,279 Yes 444 00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:45,539 yes, a lot, it's like a college mix 445 00:24:45,539 --> 00:24:49,220 high school, elementary school 446 00:24:50,039 --> 00:24:52,520 hello 447 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,799 oh yes, wait 448 00:24:55,799 --> 00:24:58,320 I mean it's like Albatraz, you know they 449 00:24:58,320 --> 00:24:59,700 throw away your luggage and look 450 00:24:59,700 --> 00:25:01,980 everything and there were gloves and 451 00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:06,440 things and it's so humiliating 452 00:25:06,659 --> 00:25:08,039 hello 453 00:25:08,039 --> 00:25:11,580 Brittany here, okay, let's go 454 00:25:11,580 --> 00:25:14,360 change phone 455 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,640 huh 456 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,140 mother 457 00:25:19,140 --> 00:25:21,980 finally 458 00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:24,779 I'm not doing well, I don't want to go 459 00:25:24,779 --> 00:25:26,940 home 460 00:25:26,940 --> 00:25:29,100 but mom I don't want to stay here 461 00:25:29,100 --> 00:25:30,360 no more 462 00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:33,000 I just want to break 463 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,340 but it's been a month, mom, I'm not here 464 00:25:35,340 --> 00:25:37,380 get something out of it 465 00:25:37,380 --> 00:25:40,440 how much money are you spending 466 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,679 Mom, I can't live with this guilt, how, how 467 00:25:43,679 --> 00:25:45,600 very 468 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,360 Yes, it's the mother, that will be on mine 469 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:51,260 back forever 470 00:25:52,919 --> 00:25:55,380 parents often have their own idea of 471 00:25:55,380 --> 00:25:57,960 What is an eating disorder do you know 472 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:59,760 what is happening to them 473 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,980 their son and I'm interested in 474 00:26:01,980 --> 00:26:03,059 hearing 475 00:26:03,059 --> 00:26:06,179 what do you think of these things 476 00:26:06,179 --> 00:26:07,860 I think it all started when she went up to 477 00:26:07,860 --> 00:26:10,260 Utah, oh 478 00:26:10,260 --> 00:26:12,179 there are many things that led to this 479 00:26:12,179 --> 00:26:14,700 but she has an eating disorder 480 00:26:14,700 --> 00:26:16,020 and she has problems, I believe 481 00:26:16,020 --> 00:26:17,760 many psychiatrists prescribed a 482 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,100 too many medicines and she is addicted and 483 00:26:20,100 --> 00:26:21,900 She can't escape it, you're saying 484 00:26:21,900 --> 00:26:23,940 that there was a lot involved in this 485 00:26:23,940 --> 00:26:26,760 before going to Utah 486 00:26:26,760 --> 00:26:28,679 well me and her mom got divorced and 487 00:26:28,679 --> 00:26:30,779 uh, her mom took her to Utah 488 00:26:30,779 --> 00:26:33,720 and uh Utah is different, I don't know 489 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:34,740 If you've been there, it's different 490 00:26:34,740 --> 00:26:37,440 Everyone eats vegetables they don't eat 491 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,840 good food, right, you know they walked 492 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:41,279 afternoon puppy and such 493 00:26:41,279 --> 00:26:43,500 like this and I believe she entered the 494 00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:46,440 habits there in Utah and colleagues 495 00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:47,940 Press her son, you know her friends 496 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:50,460 and all that I think led a lot to 497 00:26:50,460 --> 00:26:52,440 her being the way she is, I don't think 498 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:55,380 It's Utah and I don't think it was 499 00:26:55,380 --> 00:26:57,840 because I didn't work hard enough, but 500 00:26:57,840 --> 00:27:00,720 I'm very scared of 501 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:03,059 be independent and be responsible 502 00:27:03,059 --> 00:27:05,220 and be alone 503 00:27:05,220 --> 00:27:06,779 I am 504 00:27:06,779 --> 00:27:08,880 It's very difficult to be here, it's like 505 00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:12,299 giving up all the control you had 506 00:27:12,299 --> 00:27:14,580 or did you think you had 507 00:27:14,580 --> 00:27:16,140 you know 508 00:27:16,140 --> 00:27:17,940 It's a kind of control for me, like 509 00:27:17,940 --> 00:27:20,640 I control what goes into my body and 510 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:21,899 you know 511 00:27:21,899 --> 00:27:23,820 It's like you're just your mind 512 00:27:23,820 --> 00:27:25,559 consumed with all these negatives 513 00:27:25,559 --> 00:27:27,779 thoughts about you and 514 00:27:27,779 --> 00:27:29,520 I don't know 515 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:33,299 I'm just not happy anymore, dad 516 00:27:33,299 --> 00:27:35,399 I can, I'm wondering what it's like 517 00:27:35,399 --> 00:27:37,080 you know that 518 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,960 as much as you want to solve it yourself 519 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:40,980 to know 520 00:27:40,980 --> 00:27:42,779 you might not get it, it's really fashionable 521 00:27:42,779 --> 00:27:46,140 her hands, I mean when I'm just you 522 00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:46,860 father 523 00:27:46,860 --> 00:27:50,340 no no you have no idea, well tell me I 524 00:27:50,340 --> 00:27:52,020 I want to get an idea of ​​what it feels like 525 00:27:52,020 --> 00:27:52,740 you 526 00:27:52,740 --> 00:27:55,380 that, uh 527 00:27:55,380 --> 00:27:57,840 It hurts, it hurts inside, it hurts inside 528 00:27:57,840 --> 00:27:59,220 know you're sitting here 529 00:27:59,220 --> 00:28:00,240 and you have a little daughter who is 530 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:01,620 hurting and there's nothing you can 531 00:28:01,620 --> 00:28:03,899 do to help her, you know there's really 532 00:28:03,899 --> 00:28:08,360 nothing I can do to help her 533 00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,020 [Music] 534 00:28:16,020 --> 00:28:19,159 what is that? 535 00:28:28,919 --> 00:28:31,880 You can 536 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:34,740 I'm coming as our time with 537 00:28:34,740 --> 00:28:37,140 these reasons 538 00:28:37,140 --> 00:28:39,720 just think like this when you get it 539 00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:41,399 your healthy body you will never have 540 00:28:41,399 --> 00:28:44,480 look at a resource again 541 00:28:46,700 --> 00:28:51,440 'cause I've had it on my tube for so long 542 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:57,500 look at all the support you have 543 00:29:00,820 --> 00:29:07,620 [Laughter] 544 00:29:07,620 --> 00:29:10,460 health 545 00:29:15,299 --> 00:29:18,539 You're a Polly taking it like a man 546 00:29:18,539 --> 00:29:21,500 with life 547 00:29:25,970 --> 00:29:34,769 [Music] 548 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,080 purged yesterday, wasn't it? 549 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,000 how not 550 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,279 Are you using this tube for something? 551 00:29:47,279 --> 00:29:50,659 No, that's what I need to know about 552 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,779 Are you sure you're fine last night 553 00:29:54,779 --> 00:29:56,340 it was red 554 00:29:56,340 --> 00:29:58,620 because after the two appeals I [__ ] 555 00:29:58,620 --> 00:30:01,020 and I started to clean it up 556 00:30:01,020 --> 00:30:03,000 Purge through the tube 557 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,299 I'm sorry, I did that too, but I stopped 558 00:30:06,299 --> 00:30:08,419 Did you get something out of it? 559 00:30:08,419 --> 00:30:12,419 well, yes, a little well, but not much 560 00:30:12,419 --> 00:30:14,159 OK 561 00:30:14,159 --> 00:30:17,159 OK thanks 562 00:30:21,059 --> 00:30:23,880 every photo I have 563 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:26,940 Belle, I would say that in the last five years most 564 00:30:26,940 --> 00:30:29,820 they have a tube in my nose 565 00:30:29,820 --> 00:30:32,760 my dad was like, oh, my son can't have one 566 00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:34,740 tube and her nose and then he took me to 567 00:30:34,740 --> 00:30:35,760 the doctor 568 00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,380 I'm put down and wake up to the 569 00:30:37,380 --> 00:30:38,820 people in my stomach 570 00:30:38,820 --> 00:30:40,500 It was horrible, it's the worst pain I've ever felt 571 00:30:40,500 --> 00:30:43,679 I already felt 572 00:30:43,679 --> 00:30:46,440 When I started, I was fine 573 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:49,440 this is like easy access to my stomach 574 00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:52,080 I could flex my muscles a certain way 575 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,880 and things appeared or I just 576 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,039 take a syringe and suck 577 00:30:56,039 --> 00:30:58,799 things that are totally disgusting, I 578 00:30:58,799 --> 00:31:00,120 I know, but 579 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,159 I had to get it out of me and it wasn't 580 00:31:02,159 --> 00:31:05,340 even as a binge, anything I ate 581 00:31:05,340 --> 00:31:07,679 like I ate a few bites of 582 00:31:07,679 --> 00:31:10,140 bread I took it was as if I 583 00:31:10,140 --> 00:31:12,179 love, I don't know, it was like a blessing 584 00:31:12,179 --> 00:31:13,500 feeling because I didn't have to play 585 00:31:13,500 --> 00:31:18,200 told to suck with a syringe 586 00:31:18,899 --> 00:31:21,360 what I would like you to do is make a 587 00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,580 outline of what you perceive to be yours 588 00:31:23,580 --> 00:31:26,120 body image 589 00:31:35,039 --> 00:31:36,899 stay here for a second and take a 590 00:31:36,899 --> 00:31:39,360 look and tell me 591 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,120 what do you think what are you looking at 592 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,460 I think it's necessary, but 593 00:31:44,460 --> 00:31:47,100 the arms may be protruding just a little 594 00:31:47,100 --> 00:31:50,220 a little too much, this is a stocky person 595 00:31:50,220 --> 00:31:53,340 a stocky man, looks handsome 596 00:31:53,340 --> 00:31:55,799 male, so I'm curious to know 597 00:31:55,799 --> 00:31:57,899 What does this mean for you with your diet? 598 00:31:57,899 --> 00:31:59,940 disorder and your body image that 599 00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:01,559 That's the kind of image you see 600 00:32:01,559 --> 00:32:03,899 in yourself I think I am I I think 601 00:32:03,899 --> 00:32:07,340 I'm short and stocky 602 00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:18,299 What are your thoughts 603 00:32:18,299 --> 00:32:20,279 I don't know for a fleeting moment 604 00:32:20,279 --> 00:32:22,620 I thought no, it can't be that you made one 605 00:32:22,620 --> 00:32:26,659 mistake, you went too far 606 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,399 What do you think I'm looking at this 607 00:32:29,399 --> 00:32:31,580 now 608 00:32:32,159 --> 00:32:36,380 I see problem areas 609 00:33:13,310 --> 00:33:19,460 [Music] 610 00:33:19,460 --> 00:33:23,000 You know what 611 00:33:25,279 --> 00:33:28,260 Alright, let's do Shelly first 612 00:33:28,260 --> 00:33:31,200 she had a mail yesterday 62 to 88 613 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,299 in the morning and they repeated them at 614 00:33:33,299 --> 00:33:34,620 one o'clock in the afternoon and it was 615 00:33:34,620 --> 00:33:36,419 78 to 1 15. 616 00:33:36,419 --> 00:33:38,039 she admitted to me yesterday during 617 00:33:38,039 --> 00:33:39,480 vital signs that she is purging 618 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,760 through the tube we will leave 619 00:33:41,760 --> 00:33:43,679 It's very well, I think what you are 620 00:33:43,679 --> 00:33:45,240 learning huh 621 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:46,740 and she's probably being more honest 622 00:33:46,740 --> 00:33:48,720 now than she ever was before 623 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:49,919 In her life 624 00:33:49,919 --> 00:33:51,720 but on the other hand I think there is a 625 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,299 part of her that really wants to come back 626 00:33:54,299 --> 00:33:55,620 for the eating disorder to return to 627 00:33:55,620 --> 00:33:58,620 abuse substances 628 00:33:58,620 --> 00:34:00,600 She is not very happy with the fact that 629 00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:03,000 I took her off Klonopin and she is 630 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:05,519 the Librium detox she reported to me 631 00:34:05,519 --> 00:34:07,559 Monday she was really high 632 00:34:07,559 --> 00:34:09,899 degree of depression and anxiety 633 00:34:09,899 --> 00:34:12,839 and basically I was kind of looking forward to 634 00:34:12,839 --> 00:34:14,699 me to give her some anti-delay 635 00:34:14,699 --> 00:34:17,040 antidepressants or something similar 636 00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,560 How is she in terms of therapy, yes 637 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:21,780 therapy is going very well, she is 638 00:34:21,780 --> 00:34:23,280 trying to do things differently 639 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,199 time she says she's being open with 640 00:34:25,199 --> 00:34:27,060 everyone and honest with everyone and 641 00:34:27,060 --> 00:34:29,699 and don't lie the way she says she did 642 00:34:29,699 --> 00:34:31,199 been in the last six years of treatment 643 00:34:31,199 --> 00:34:33,060 you see, I have a very different feeling 644 00:34:33,060 --> 00:34:34,619 her Adam, you know, I think she's very 645 00:34:34,619 --> 00:34:36,440 sneaky, I think she is very manipulative 646 00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,879 she she lost several supplements 647 00:34:38,879 --> 00:34:40,739 over the weekend she was not consistent in 648 00:34:40,739 --> 00:34:43,800 everything she did yesterday, but I 649 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:45,239 Don't trust her as much as I can play 650 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,099 we just have to ask her to cooperate 651 00:34:47,099 --> 00:34:48,300 with us 652 00:34:48,300 --> 00:34:51,179 Hey Shelly, how are you, I'm probably not 653 00:34:51,179 --> 00:34:52,859 It will be great, welcome to the team 654 00:34:52,859 --> 00:34:55,940 hi, it's good to have you back with us 655 00:34:55,940 --> 00:34:58,859 You know we're worried about 656 00:34:58,859 --> 00:35:02,339 purging your pulse deficits, we know 657 00:35:02,339 --> 00:35:03,780 you're leaving to get the tube 658 00:35:03,780 --> 00:35:06,180 comes out tomorrow and you know we just want 659 00:35:06,180 --> 00:35:08,640 to hold you for a while for you 660 00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,980 I know just to make sure you know 661 00:35:10,980 --> 00:35:12,960 are you clinically stable than your 662 00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:14,640 physical condition is fine and then you 663 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:16,740 we know you can move on from there 664 00:35:16,740 --> 00:35:18,240 The thing that bothers me is that I've been 665 00:35:18,240 --> 00:35:20,760 taking all my meds off without offense and 666 00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:24,240 this really made me like it a lot 667 00:35:24,240 --> 00:35:27,720 more anxious and more depressed and 668 00:35:27,720 --> 00:35:31,339 I just want to go home 669 00:35:32,300 --> 00:35:36,200 come in and sit down 670 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,300 Polly, I'll go ahead and give you 671 00:35:39,300 --> 00:35:41,400 some feedback ok, the team is feeling it 672 00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,380 like you're working hard then 673 00:35:43,380 --> 00:35:45,060 we want to recognize you for this and 674 00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:47,880 in particular, I'm also looking at the 675 00:35:47,880 --> 00:35:49,859 feelings of anger taking risks I know 676 00:35:49,859 --> 00:35:51,660 you took a chance on the community yesterday 677 00:35:51,660 --> 00:35:53,160 and I think you got good feedback 678 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:54,540 from the rest of the community that 679 00:35:54,540 --> 00:35:56,400 was done very appropriately, but I think 680 00:35:56,400 --> 00:35:57,900 what we want to say is that we want 681 00:35:57,900 --> 00:36:00,000 recognize your hard work and that we 682 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,119 I would like to give you level three, so I 683 00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:04,859 Think you know it's well deserved 684 00:36:04,859 --> 00:36:07,260 and we just want to keep watching you rise 685 00:36:07,260 --> 00:36:09,599 for the occasion, ok, so don't stop 686 00:36:09,599 --> 00:36:13,920 working fine, ok, that's it, wait well 687 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,099 work 688 00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,480 thanks 689 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:30,839 so she's happy to have the tube coming out 690 00:36:30,839 --> 00:36:34,440 no, you really know 691 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:38,240 It's easier with that 692 00:36:39,119 --> 00:36:42,560 Yes, that's what you thought, yes 693 00:36:45,119 --> 00:36:47,040 Well, you're such a beautiful girl, I hope 694 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:50,400 you you are you have a great personality 695 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:51,480 Yes 696 00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,980 try to enjoy your life 697 00:36:55,140 --> 00:36:58,560 ok moment 698 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,839 preaching I'm sorry 699 00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:13,700 OK, normal bumper 700 00:37:22,440 --> 00:37:24,480 good 701 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,200 open bye 702 00:37:30,119 --> 00:37:32,960 chin down 703 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:43,160 here we go look at them more 704 00:37:44,599 --> 00:37:46,740 she can't drink anything now 705 00:37:46,740 --> 00:37:50,460 or Charlie, hi, we're done 706 00:37:50,460 --> 00:37:53,599 how are you feeling well 707 00:37:55,980 --> 00:37:58,880 that's it 708 00:38:01,260 --> 00:38:04,940 very good, right, yes 709 00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,540 she seems to be relaxing 710 00:38:08,540 --> 00:38:13,700 Yeah, she's just enjoying the ride, okay 711 00:38:13,740 --> 00:38:16,680 I don't want recovery 712 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:20,460 I don't want anything to do with this 713 00:38:20,460 --> 00:38:24,180 I want my children to have a normal life 714 00:38:24,180 --> 00:38:26,220 I do not want it 715 00:38:26,220 --> 00:38:28,680 Do you know why I joined the Air Force? 716 00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,060 oh 717 00:38:30,060 --> 00:38:32,400 No one knows why I joined the Air Force 718 00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:34,440 To this day it's a mystery why you went 719 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,240 in the Air Force I was in the Air Force 720 00:38:36,240 --> 00:38:39,680 lose weight 721 00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:43,320 It was in the middle of Desert Storm and I 722 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:46,140 I went to the Air Force to lose weight 723 00:38:46,140 --> 00:38:48,599 I thought about living in a rare place 724 00:38:48,599 --> 00:38:52,200 lifestyle I will remain my strong 725 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,960 feeling is that there is a part of you 726 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:56,700 who wants recovery 727 00:38:56,700 --> 00:38:59,579 so that your children do not calm your 728 00:38:59,579 --> 00:39:02,780 family, but for you 729 00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:13,079 They didn't ask to be brought into this 730 00:39:13,079 --> 00:39:15,260 world 731 00:39:15,420 --> 00:39:18,359 and they are the only thing 732 00:39:18,359 --> 00:39:21,660 10 people in my life 733 00:39:21,660 --> 00:39:24,359 that I already knew how to do 734 00:39:24,359 --> 00:39:27,780 love how to truly love 735 00:39:27,780 --> 00:39:32,359 I don't know how to show off to people 736 00:39:37,619 --> 00:39:42,320 In some ways, there's a better side of me 737 00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:47,240 they are all the best in me 738 00:39:50,460 --> 00:39:53,339 and I have the opportunity to 739 00:39:53,339 --> 00:39:55,920 do it all again 740 00:39:55,920 --> 00:39:59,960 with them and do it right this time 741 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:06,720 oh 742 00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:09,859 but I do not have 743 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:14,660 and I can't do it 744 00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:24,560 Yes 745 00:40:24,980 --> 00:40:27,599 Damn, I just wasn't blind 746 00:40:27,599 --> 00:40:31,020 says I'm done next Wednesday, that's fine, unless 747 00:40:31,020 --> 00:40:33,420 and yes, it was kind of played 748 00:40:33,420 --> 00:40:35,339 me like this 749 00:40:35,339 --> 00:40:36,960 ok, I'm going and I'm freaking out 750 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:39,240 ok, insurance said well, she's in 751 00:40:39,240 --> 00:40:41,460 level three and she's keeping her 752 00:40:41,460 --> 00:40:43,319 weight, then you are planning to leave 753 00:40:43,319 --> 00:40:45,180 Wednesday then well 754 00:40:45,180 --> 00:40:47,280 because of the situation 755 00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:49,020 I mean, insurance is saying they are 756 00:40:49,020 --> 00:40:51,660 I won't cover anything else 757 00:40:51,660 --> 00:40:54,300 Um, you know we're looking at the 758 00:40:54,300 --> 00:40:56,880 long-term care option, I don't feel ready 759 00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:59,280 go into long-term care, I don't feel 760 00:40:59,280 --> 00:41:00,960 ready to go home, you know I would 761 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:04,319 I encourage you to talk to Peggy first 762 00:41:04,319 --> 00:41:06,780 would just relax, don't panic, how are you 763 00:41:06,780 --> 00:41:08,400 relax when you get hit with this 764 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,980 Friday, I mean, we never turn people away 765 00:41:10,980 --> 00:41:13,500 so fast we need more information this 766 00:41:13,500 --> 00:41:15,180 it seems very difficult for you 767 00:41:15,180 --> 00:41:18,900 and um, you know we'll follow along, you know 768 00:41:18,900 --> 00:41:20,220 I gotta go to the damn beach now 769 00:41:20,220 --> 00:41:22,920 and I didn't want to go anyway and I was 770 00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,540 I didn't want to and this isn't the mood 771 00:41:24,540 --> 00:41:26,520 I just have all the beach swimsuit for you 772 00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:27,660 You know that whole thing about eating ice? 773 00:41:27,660 --> 00:41:28,380 cream 774 00:41:28,380 --> 00:41:30,180 you know and just before I understand I 775 00:41:30,180 --> 00:41:33,060 Gotta get ready for this, I'm hit 776 00:41:33,060 --> 00:41:34,440 safe 777 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:36,420 It's great to see how motivated you are 778 00:41:36,420 --> 00:41:39,720 although I want to say that you really want to recover 779 00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:42,660 And if I go home now, yeah, I'm just 780 00:41:42,660 --> 00:41:44,640 I'm not ready, I will 781 00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:48,420 No, I mean, I'll be right back 782 00:41:48,420 --> 00:41:51,560 where did I start 783 00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:04,680 if this appeal was denied, then I have no 784 00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:06,740 insurance coverage 785 00:42:06,740 --> 00:42:08,940 and it's like they want me to stay until 786 00:42:08,940 --> 00:42:10,400 Friday at least 787 00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,200 I would be asking my parents to work more than 4 788 00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,400 500 for nothing 789 00:42:18,060 --> 00:42:19,800 I wouldn't leave [__ ] the next one 790 00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:21,900 three days 791 00:42:21,900 --> 00:42:24,900 and I mean I could go straight to 792 00:42:24,900 --> 00:42:26,640 long-term care, but they just told me I'm 793 00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:27,839 I won't be able to have mine 794 00:42:27,839 --> 00:42:28,920 therapist 795 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:31,260 that I had for nine weeks, everyone 796 00:42:31,260 --> 00:42:33,300 another person who switches to Extended Care keeps 797 00:42:33,300 --> 00:42:35,040 the same therapist, but 798 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:38,660 mine is very busy, she said 799 00:42:57,480 --> 00:42:59,599 Yes 800 00:43:00,060 --> 00:43:01,920 I realized that a few years of fighting 801 00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:03,540 During meals today I wonder what's wrong 802 00:43:03,540 --> 00:43:06,380 happening for you 803 00:43:12,660 --> 00:43:14,280 is there any way you can look 804 00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,920 this is just 805 00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:18,180 red 806 00:43:18,180 --> 00:43:19,980 just cheese on top and tomato 807 00:43:19,980 --> 00:43:23,040 sauce on top 808 00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:24,900 tell me what's going on 809 00:43:24,900 --> 00:43:25,980 It's making it hard for you 810 00:43:25,980 --> 00:43:27,540 consider 811 00:43:27,540 --> 00:43:29,720 It's a hard thing to eat anyway 812 00:43:29,720 --> 00:43:32,760 I don't need it on top of everything 813 00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:35,180 other 814 00:43:36,060 --> 00:43:37,500 I would like to know if we can support 815 00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:39,740 Colena 816 00:43:40,940 --> 00:43:43,619 You don't need to talk, but you know we 817 00:43:43,619 --> 00:43:46,819 can provide support for you right 818 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,300 Mom, yes, I'm sorry for calling you at work 819 00:44:06,300 --> 00:44:08,640 Alright, you got a split second, yeah 820 00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,859 out, I need you to book me a plane ticket 821 00:44:10,859 --> 00:44:12,900 as soon as possible 822 00:44:12,900 --> 00:44:14,640 because I'm coming home 823 00:44:14,640 --> 00:44:16,440 yes I am, no you are not, no you are not 824 00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:19,640 What do you mean no I'm not 825 00:44:20,579 --> 00:44:22,980 even you got extended for a week, no I 826 00:44:22,980 --> 00:44:24,780 I don't want to because 827 00:44:24,780 --> 00:44:27,060 because they will throw me in a hole 828 00:44:27,060 --> 00:44:29,520 with a totally different therapist's perspective 829 00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:31,940 that is not 830 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,079 as apparently necessary 831 00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:39,780 you were very lucky to be depressed 832 00:44:39,780 --> 00:44:41,520 there first 833 00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:43,680 and I think you know that 834 00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:47,460 you have to have the right attitude 835 00:44:47,460 --> 00:44:49,800 Mom, I'm trying, I'm trying to have the 836 00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,020 Right attitude, look, I've been sad, oh 837 00:44:52,020 --> 00:44:53,640 [ __ ] 838 00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:55,920 saying [__ ] sorry what time are you arriving 839 00:44:55,920 --> 00:44:56,940 off work 840 00:44:56,940 --> 00:44:59,220 because it's my smoke break and 841 00:44:59,220 --> 00:45:01,990 I have to smoke a cigarette 842 00:45:01,990 --> 00:45:15,939 [Music] 843 00:45:19,140 --> 00:45:21,070 foreigner 844 00:45:21,070 --> 00:45:25,619 [Music] 845 00:45:25,619 --> 00:45:28,260 Maybe you need to eat a little less, but 846 00:45:28,260 --> 00:45:31,380 more often I work a lot, move my body 847 00:45:31,380 --> 00:45:34,260 like a madman I think a lot I am very 848 00:45:34,260 --> 00:45:36,900 stressed guy, so how do I not lose 849 00:45:36,900 --> 00:45:39,359 weight I don't know well you're losing 850 00:45:39,359 --> 00:45:41,099 Yes, you're losing the other way, I 851 00:45:41,099 --> 00:45:42,900 If you want to lose him you'll have to go 852 00:45:42,900 --> 00:45:45,900 in the afternoon with the patience process 853 00:45:45,900 --> 00:45:49,260 you don't need to sue, no you have 854 00:45:49,260 --> 00:45:51,660 this secret for me how to lose 40 kilos 855 00:45:51,660 --> 00:45:53,400 in two months why does it feel like I have to 856 00:45:53,400 --> 00:45:55,200 to see 857 00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,460 I look like 858 00:46:00,720 --> 00:46:01,630 no 859 00:46:01,630 --> 00:46:07,679 [Music] 860 00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:16,200 [Music] 861 00:46:16,200 --> 00:46:18,180 I was talking to Becca about this and she 862 00:46:18,180 --> 00:46:19,380 I was asking where we were going and 863 00:46:19,380 --> 00:46:20,760 I was telling her and she said to 864 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,099 three hours and I was like Becca, I was 865 00:46:23,099 --> 00:46:24,960 How Michelle and I Graduated 866 00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:27,660 in literature I was like we were going 867 00:46:27,660 --> 00:46:30,000 a bookstore for an hour and a half is 868 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,220 Heaven, I know and she's like, oh, I can 869 00:46:32,220 --> 00:46:34,740 I totally see this 870 00:46:34,740 --> 00:46:38,060 you are such a good liar 871 00:46:38,220 --> 00:46:41,760 [Music] 872 00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:44,040 this is perfect 873 00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:47,720 the big purple one and the small red one 874 00:46:47,720 --> 00:46:50,819 is a symbol of recovery from a diet 875 00:46:50,819 --> 00:46:53,240 disorder 876 00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:57,900 was saying no text, no tattoos, no 877 00:46:57,900 --> 00:46:58,940 piercings 878 00:46:58,940 --> 00:47:01,920 piercing too while I'm here 879 00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,500 I already told Shelly, okay, we could show 880 00:47:04,500 --> 00:47:06,000 Shelley, but I don't know if we can show 881 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:07,319 no one else because I don't know if 882 00:47:07,319 --> 00:47:10,140 Can I trust him Kylie Kylie I could trust 883 00:47:10,140 --> 00:47:12,560 But that's it 884 00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,819 about this 885 00:47:14,819 --> 00:47:17,720 really personal 886 00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:22,200 Yes 887 00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,200 Hmm 888 00:47:24,300 --> 00:47:27,300 and they're making us fat there 889 00:47:27,300 --> 00:47:30,180 Yes, I'll try to cheer us up, why 890 00:47:30,180 --> 00:47:32,460 face 891 00:47:32,460 --> 00:47:34,260 don't understand this 892 00:47:34,260 --> 00:47:37,260 oh no, I'm done, yes, I'm done, yes, we're done 893 00:47:37,260 --> 00:47:39,599 both just working to keep up what they do 894 00:47:39,599 --> 00:47:41,400 you, you vomit, you are 895 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,619 this type of person or are you deep 896 00:47:43,619 --> 00:47:46,740 in you know the restrictors of your love only 897 00:47:46,740 --> 00:47:49,020 Don't eat, don't eat, yes, but we eat now I 898 00:47:49,020 --> 00:47:50,880 means I've been there for nine weeks 899 00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,599 this is horrible 900 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,920 you know what you do is eat six small 901 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,079 meals a day instead of three large 902 00:47:58,079 --> 00:48:00,010 speeds up your metabolism 903 00:48:00,010 --> 00:48:08,110 [Music] 904 00:48:08,700 --> 00:48:10,619 they're really like are they 100 to 905 00:48:10,619 --> 00:48:13,160 down here now 906 00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:15,599 but I think you get to work 907 00:48:15,599 --> 00:48:18,680 in my car seat again 908 00:48:28,640 --> 00:48:32,780 you ask why you were getting this 909 00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:35,460 Is he hot? 910 00:48:35,460 --> 00:48:37,760 yes he is weird 911 00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,260 We're counting this, we'll sit down, we'll be 912 00:48:40,260 --> 00:48:42,839 the first whole day, so this can't come out 913 00:48:42,839 --> 00:48:47,900 what I told them, you told Kylie 914 00:48:47,940 --> 00:48:50,520 yes, come in 915 00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:52,920 you can't say 916 00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,339 OK 917 00:49:00,319 --> 00:49:04,819 okay one two three 918 00:49:05,300 --> 00:49:09,680 cool, I won't mind 919 00:49:10,079 --> 00:49:12,359 11. 920 00:49:12,359 --> 00:49:14,720 OK 921 00:49:14,720 --> 00:49:41,170 [Music] 922 00:49:42,839 --> 00:49:45,540 and you'll walk backwards, yeah 923 00:49:45,540 --> 00:49:50,000 I know it's a blind weight, yeah 924 00:49:54,720 --> 00:49:56,280 OK 925 00:49:56,280 --> 00:49:59,359 body examination 926 00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:02,160 ok let me see what it still is 927 00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,200 since the last one it has gotten much better 928 00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:06,480 yes, this is iron, but it stuck 929 00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:10,040 better yes, this is cured 930 00:50:10,980 --> 00:50:13,920 No, there are no new scratches or areas, oh no, no, no 931 00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:16,579 no, ok 932 00:50:18,300 --> 00:50:20,599 foreigner 933 00:50:32,620 --> 00:50:35,690 [Music] 934 00:50:44,950 --> 00:50:47,940 [Music] 935 00:50:47,940 --> 00:50:49,980 You're taking all your liquids I'm taking 936 00:50:49,980 --> 00:50:53,540 all this and I drink more than that 937 00:50:55,859 --> 00:50:59,880 2.7 pounds in one [__ ] day 938 00:50:59,880 --> 00:51:05,579 My children, I mean, I'm not sorry 939 00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:21,839 let me see, yes, a minute, my polly 940 00:51:21,839 --> 00:51:23,099 Wally 941 00:51:23,099 --> 00:51:25,339 thanks 942 00:51:25,339 --> 00:51:28,859 Are you ready, yes, I'm ready, you're the one 943 00:51:28,859 --> 00:51:31,819 the one who is tired 944 00:51:32,819 --> 00:51:34,920 I love you guys 945 00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:37,559 you changed your party yesterday 946 00:51:37,559 --> 00:51:41,339 Of course I [__ ] every day I can always 947 00:51:41,339 --> 00:51:43,260 what 948 00:51:43,260 --> 00:51:44,579 OK 949 00:51:44,579 --> 00:51:47,900 you need your bag yesterday 950 00:51:48,119 --> 00:51:52,020 Yes, you will need a Plus feature 951 00:51:52,020 --> 00:51:54,660 I need many things 952 00:51:54,660 --> 00:51:57,520 foreigner 953 00:51:57,520 --> 00:52:01,949 [Music] 954 00:52:04,080 --> 00:52:48,020 [Music] 955 00:52:52,460 --> 00:52:55,440 I also did that Bagel was in a million 956 00:52:55,440 --> 00:52:56,760 parts 957 00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:59,160 I ate the whole bowl of cereal, yes, but 958 00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:01,140 this is a starch 959 00:53:01,140 --> 00:53:03,240 you give me [__ ] about 90 calories and a 960 00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:04,980 quarter gram of fat and you're not in a 961 00:53:04,980 --> 00:53:07,500 bagel these bagels only have one 962 00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:10,819 180 160. 963 00:53:11,160 --> 00:53:12,540 and there's only half a gram of fat 964 00:53:12,540 --> 00:53:13,680 Don't you think this is kinda 965 00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:15,740 hypocritical 966 00:53:15,740 --> 00:53:19,819 I have four starches on my plates 967 00:53:19,819 --> 00:53:23,119 I don't call 968 00:53:23,280 --> 00:53:26,660 obviously you need it 969 00:53:35,420 --> 00:53:39,619 oh, we see it now 970 00:53:45,660 --> 00:53:47,520 what 971 00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,040 Um, we have Shelly to do. 972 00:53:50,040 --> 00:53:51,780 she is a Plus feature for less than 100 973 00:53:51,780 --> 00:53:55,200 and weight loss, she dropped 1.4 today and 974 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,880 she will need one she was also discouraged 975 00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:58,980 Monday, but she refused and went 976 00:53:58,980 --> 00:54:00,440 reported that there was a partial 977 00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:02,819 digested veggie burger found in his room 978 00:54:02,819 --> 00:54:05,160 Diane found out, I really feel like she is 979 00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:06,599 purging although she is very pale and 980 00:54:06,599 --> 00:54:09,240 washed, she's up to something we 981 00:54:09,240 --> 00:54:11,520 you really have to be careful and 982 00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:13,640 notice this click that is forming between 983 00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:17,339 Shelley, Polly and Kylie are also 984 00:54:17,339 --> 00:54:19,319 It's not a good thing, I think just 985 00:54:19,319 --> 00:54:20,700 I need to keep an eye on 986 00:54:20,700 --> 00:54:22,079 alliances that are happening in 987 00:54:22,079 --> 00:54:23,819 community and I think it will be 988 00:54:23,819 --> 00:54:25,619 much more potential to act on it 989 00:54:25,619 --> 00:54:29,900 we need to be aware that we must 990 00:54:33,359 --> 00:54:34,380 then 991 00:54:34,380 --> 00:54:37,140 We're, uh, we're worried about you, Shelly 992 00:54:37,140 --> 00:54:38,880 you're starting to get back to it 993 00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:40,440 role you played other times in 994 00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:41,880 treatment where you are 995 00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:43,799 where you were ruining everything 996 00:54:43,799 --> 00:54:45,540 This is a position you tend to put 997 00:54:45,540 --> 00:54:47,119 yourself again and again and again 998 00:54:47,119 --> 00:54:49,559 and the fact that 999 00:54:49,559 --> 00:54:51,660 Um, in your room a garden was found 1000 00:54:51,660 --> 00:54:54,000 burger that was partially eaten, I mean 1001 00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,160 we don't know in my room 1002 00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:58,260 I haven't had a garden burger in 1003 00:54:58,260 --> 00:55:00,540 last week I think what I'm saying 1004 00:55:00,540 --> 00:55:02,280 you right now is that I don't trust you 1005 00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:04,260 I'm being honest with you, I think 1006 00:55:04,260 --> 00:55:05,520 I think you came here with good 1007 00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,200 intentions I give you a lot of credit 1008 00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,420 By being here I think you can do a lot 1009 00:55:09,420 --> 00:55:11,339 work, but I'm worried about the 1010 00:55:11,339 --> 00:55:13,140 people you're dating with your pulse 1011 00:55:13,140 --> 00:55:14,819 deficits, there are some things that are 1012 00:55:14,819 --> 00:55:16,260 not that that's something we're going to do 1013 00:55:16,260 --> 00:55:18,000 move it to a partial day room 1014 00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:21,059 and you will be in a position 1015 00:55:21,059 --> 00:55:24,980 where you can prove your worth once again 1016 00:55:29,700 --> 00:55:31,559 You're not fighting and I'm not going 1017 00:55:31,559 --> 00:55:33,540 I see it more as if I weren't, I feel 1018 00:55:33,540 --> 00:55:34,980 like they just want to say yes, I 1019 00:55:34,980 --> 00:55:37,500 I am and I am not, I would say yes 1020 00:55:37,500 --> 00:55:39,240 I wouldn't be here if I were wise and 1021 00:55:39,240 --> 00:55:41,099 waste the money well you understand 1022 00:55:41,099 --> 00:55:43,500 like you want to leave something, yeah 1023 00:55:43,500 --> 00:55:45,420 'Cause Jody don't trust me, she's flat 1024 00:55:45,420 --> 00:55:47,400 told me and I don't trust her, she 1025 00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:49,319 wants to make me a big fat ass and I'm 1026 00:55:49,319 --> 00:55:51,180 No, I really feel like something is 1027 00:55:51,180 --> 00:55:53,040 up and you just nothing is what I 1028 00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:54,420 I want you to understand though, it's me 1029 00:55:54,420 --> 00:55:56,339 understand what it can really be like 1030 00:55:56,339 --> 00:55:59,040 hard for you to say oh my god, no 1031 00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:00,660 It's not hard to say if I were 1032 00:56:00,660 --> 00:56:03,059 purging I would say it's okay, I'm 1033 00:56:03,059 --> 00:56:06,540 not [__ ] vomiting God as it is 1034 00:56:06,540 --> 00:56:08,760 be challenged now and not be 1035 00:56:08,760 --> 00:56:10,799 reliable, I mean that's the biggest problem 1036 00:56:10,799 --> 00:56:13,740 here it is and I'll put it 1037 00:56:13,740 --> 00:56:16,020 challenge you, trust me 1038 00:56:16,020 --> 00:56:18,780 everyone trusts you, not everyone is fine, I 1039 00:56:18,780 --> 00:56:20,280 I want you to think and feel this 1040 00:56:20,280 --> 00:56:21,900 now ok, I don't want to sit with 1041 00:56:21,900 --> 00:56:23,099 that I want to get [__ ] out of here 1042 00:56:23,099 --> 00:56:26,280 ok you can sign your 72. ok wait 1043 00:56:26,280 --> 00:56:27,660 one of the things you need 1044 00:56:27,660 --> 00:56:29,819 understand, although the language has to be 1045 00:56:29,819 --> 00:56:31,200 different, okay, because it's just 1046 00:56:31,200 --> 00:56:34,760 disrespectful to everyone, sorry 1047 00:56:35,220 --> 00:56:37,140 [ __ ] again 1048 00:56:37,140 --> 00:56:40,700 sorry, I'm going to screw it up again 1049 00:56:43,740 --> 00:56:45,480 I said Monday, but my mom is traveling 1050 00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:48,380 Sunday so I'm like 1051 00:56:49,500 --> 00:56:51,420 Do you really think your mother will let you 1052 00:56:51,420 --> 00:56:52,380 Yes you 1053 00:56:52,380 --> 00:56:54,240 especially if someone [__ ] is framing 1054 00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:55,400 my 1055 00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:57,660 I feel like I'm angelic, I should 1056 00:56:57,660 --> 00:56:59,220 confess if they keep me alone long enough 1057 00:56:59,220 --> 00:57:00,900 That's why I know I tell people 1058 00:57:00,900 --> 00:57:02,160 commit 1059 00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:04,740 Said I was like now I know what it is 1060 00:57:04,740 --> 00:57:07,799 seems to be an interrogated person that I was 1061 00:57:07,799 --> 00:57:09,740 It's no wonder so many innocent people 1062 00:57:09,740 --> 00:57:12,839 confess why you keep them in a 1063 00:57:12,839 --> 00:57:15,359 room and you sit there, I'm like someone 1064 00:57:15,359 --> 00:57:17,579 It's better to [__ ] admit it because I'm not 1065 00:57:17,579 --> 00:57:19,500 take the blame for it [___] 1066 00:57:19,500 --> 00:57:22,520 where is the lighter 1067 00:57:39,359 --> 00:57:42,299 Now imagine having to do this for seven days 1068 00:57:42,299 --> 00:57:43,680 a week you 1069 00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:46,020 waking up at 5:30 in the morning you 1070 00:57:46,020 --> 00:57:48,079 to know 1071 00:57:49,680 --> 00:57:51,920 foreigner 1072 00:58:05,250 --> 00:58:08,440 [Music] 1073 00:58:09,319 --> 00:58:12,059 I can't trust anyone they don't touch 1074 00:58:12,059 --> 00:58:14,160 I why don't they trust you because 1075 00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:16,920 someone put a garden burger in my room 1076 00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,559 someone stole from the cafeteria 1077 00:58:19,559 --> 00:58:21,480 It's on the farm from seven and two o'clock to 1078 00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:23,640 withdraw some treatment 1079 00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:26,640 Do you think that's the answer no I have 1080 00:58:26,640 --> 00:58:28,260 so angry and I don't know that people don't 1081 00:58:28,260 --> 00:58:30,780 trust me here but you have to realize 1082 00:58:30,780 --> 00:58:32,700 that this is part of the healing, I mean 1083 00:58:32,700 --> 00:58:34,319 and part of the things you need 1084 00:58:34,319 --> 00:58:36,180 pass and you have to win 1085 00:58:36,180 --> 00:58:40,160 trust back, you know 1086 00:58:40,260 --> 00:58:43,460 but I've done it all 1087 00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:47,819 You said I know but this time I 1088 00:58:47,819 --> 00:58:51,839 been honest with everything, I hope so 1089 00:58:51,839 --> 00:58:54,140 I really hope 1090 00:58:59,960 --> 00:59:02,760 I'm in trouble and I'm tired 1091 00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:04,559 please 1092 00:59:04,559 --> 00:59:06,390 Congratulations 1093 00:59:06,390 --> 00:59:09,699 [Music] 1094 00:59:13,660 --> 00:59:23,760 [Music] 1095 00:59:25,930 --> 00:59:29,060 [Music] 1096 00:59:33,840 --> 00:59:36,240 [Music] 1097 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:39,440 She doesn't look perfect, cool 1098 00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:41,160 [Music] 1099 00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:42,900 I'm in trouble 1100 00:59:42,900 --> 00:59:45,079 all good 1101 00:59:45,079 --> 00:59:49,500 just stay here, yes, night, Kylie, you 1102 00:59:49,500 --> 00:59:50,940 I have to go, I'm already in trouble, oh 1103 00:59:50,940 --> 00:59:55,040 It was you who fell on me, yes 1104 01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:05,520 one of the reasons why I think everyone 1105 01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:08,460 you are here is because your life was 1106 01:00:08,460 --> 01:00:10,799 Too uncontrollable, so you came here 1107 01:00:10,799 --> 01:00:13,020 and the structure we have and the 1108 01:00:13,020 --> 01:00:16,140 rules, policies and procedures must 1109 01:00:16,140 --> 01:00:18,900 actually make your life more manageable 1110 01:00:18,900 --> 01:00:21,059 and I think what surprises me most 1111 01:00:21,059 --> 01:00:23,460 about now are just things I'm 1112 01:00:23,460 --> 01:00:25,859 listen in the community and number one 1113 01:00:25,859 --> 01:00:28,680 blatant disrespect for employees 1114 01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:31,859 and when people are smoking in their 1115 01:00:31,859 --> 01:00:34,200 rooms is a big security problem 1116 01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:36,660 for everyone in this room and when 1117 01:00:36,660 --> 01:00:38,520 people don't really find the structure 1118 01:00:38,520 --> 01:00:41,640 puts all of you, as well as the team, into 1119 01:00:41,640 --> 01:00:43,380 an unsafe place 1120 01:00:43,380 --> 01:00:45,599 I want to see an arm raised 1121 01:00:45,599 --> 01:00:47,579 who really wants to be here and who 1122 01:00:47,579 --> 01:00:50,240 want to improve 1123 01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:53,579 OK 1124 01:00:53,579 --> 01:00:56,460 ok, then think about it, delete your 1125 01:00:56,460 --> 01:00:58,740 hands and I really want to hear about 1126 01:00:58,740 --> 01:01:03,380 the Polly distraction you want to start 1127 01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:09,839 Um, I just want to apologize to everyone. 1128 01:01:09,839 --> 01:01:11,819 in the community 1129 01:01:11,819 --> 01:01:12,980 Hmm, I have 1130 01:01:12,980 --> 01:01:16,619 smoking in my bathroom and 1131 01:01:16,619 --> 01:01:19,140 Um, that was against the rules and I knew it 1132 01:01:19,140 --> 01:01:22,200 It was against the rules, so I was 1133 01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:25,559 you know, putting I think everyone 1134 01:01:25,559 --> 01:01:27,480 risk if there was 1135 01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:30,540 a problem a fire or whatever you were 1136 01:01:30,540 --> 01:01:31,740 the only one smoking in the bathroom 1137 01:01:31,740 --> 01:01:34,200 Up there you were the only person 1138 01:01:34,200 --> 01:01:36,359 I know otherwise this is a this is a place 1139 01:01:36,359 --> 01:01:39,500 to talk about it 1140 01:01:41,339 --> 01:01:44,700 I can't lie, oh, it's there, oh 1141 01:01:44,700 --> 01:01:47,760 once or twice, well, twice, okay, you were in 1142 01:01:47,760 --> 01:01:50,400 there too, ok 1143 01:01:50,400 --> 01:01:53,460 I wanted 1144 01:01:53,460 --> 01:01:56,160 I, you know, I just thought I'd get the 1145 01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:57,059 to fall 1146 01:01:57,059 --> 01:02:00,059 Um, what friends take Falls to friends 1147 01:02:00,059 --> 01:02:02,780 It is 1148 01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:04,859 we'll talk about it, we'll cut off her hand 1149 01:02:04,859 --> 01:02:08,900 I got up, I was in the bathroom smoking too 1150 01:02:09,900 --> 01:02:11,520 Holly, I must say I'm frustrated 1151 01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,260 that she asked him a direct question and 1152 01:02:13,260 --> 01:02:16,440 You said you were the only one and 1153 01:02:16,440 --> 01:02:18,299 She said you were the only one and 1154 01:02:18,299 --> 01:02:19,740 you said yes and you had the integrity 1155 01:02:19,740 --> 01:02:21,960 stick you didn't have to say names, but 1156 01:02:21,960 --> 01:02:23,940 you were lying again and that's just 1157 01:02:23,940 --> 01:02:25,500 it frustrates me a lot, maybe 1158 01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:27,780 Why I do this, I don't know, but hmm 1159 01:02:27,780 --> 01:02:30,539 it just frustrated me 1160 01:02:30,539 --> 01:02:32,940 and I'm sorry about yesterday I love you 1161 01:02:32,940 --> 01:02:35,039 screaming, I'm sorry about my tongue 1162 01:02:35,039 --> 01:02:36,420 I'm really trying to work on it, but 1163 01:02:36,420 --> 01:02:37,859 It's when I get to a place where I feel 1164 01:02:37,859 --> 01:02:39,119 how am I being 1165 01:02:39,119 --> 01:02:42,119 controlled, I get angry and I swear 1166 01:02:42,119 --> 01:02:44,640 but another thing is that I just feel 1167 01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:46,619 like I can't trust many people 1168 01:02:46,619 --> 01:02:48,960 especially when someone doesn't admit it 1169 01:02:48,960 --> 01:02:50,280 what they did 1170 01:02:50,280 --> 01:02:52,559 what if someone had food 1171 01:02:52,559 --> 01:02:54,660 I mean, I don't care 1172 01:02:54,660 --> 01:02:56,460 you know because I'm already me already 1173 01:02:56,460 --> 01:02:58,380 fell above them, my bathroom 1174 01:02:58,380 --> 01:03:00,180 locked and everything 1175 01:03:00,180 --> 01:03:02,160 if someone did this 1176 01:03:02,160 --> 01:03:04,200 you will only hurt yourself and me 1177 01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:06,420 honest about everything I eat 1178 01:03:06,420 --> 01:03:08,220 I believe in things on my tray that I'm 1179 01:03:08,220 --> 01:03:09,900 I won't eat and I say I won't 1180 01:03:09,900 --> 01:03:11,579 I take that supplement, but at least I 1181 01:03:11,579 --> 01:03:13,260 [__ ] have the courage to tell someone 1182 01:03:13,260 --> 01:03:15,059 that I won't do that and I won't 1183 01:03:15,059 --> 01:03:18,119 I hide food and I don't purge and I don't 1184 01:03:18,119 --> 01:03:20,760 exercise I don't do and I would and I can't 1185 01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:23,700 I lie more, I feel very guilty 1186 01:03:23,700 --> 01:03:25,140 That's why I couldn't let Polly take the 1187 01:03:25,140 --> 01:03:27,059 guilt and I knew she was going to do it today 1188 01:03:27,059 --> 01:03:29,460 because I knew she would try and 1189 01:03:29,460 --> 01:03:31,140 I knew what I mean 1190 01:03:31,140 --> 01:03:33,420 I can't lie anymore and I'm sick of lying 1191 01:03:33,420 --> 01:03:36,420 to myself and I will, if I stay, I will 1192 01:03:36,420 --> 01:03:38,460 I'm going to move away from 1193 01:03:38,460 --> 01:03:41,160 community and focus more on myself 1194 01:03:41,160 --> 01:03:43,260 Um, because I want to improve and I 1195 01:03:43,260 --> 01:03:45,119 I know that the people around have a 1196 01:03:45,119 --> 01:03:46,559 influence on me, but it's my fault 1197 01:03:46,559 --> 01:03:48,420 because I left, but I'll try 1198 01:03:48,420 --> 01:03:51,380 harder then 1199 01:03:58,200 --> 01:03:59,640 many people from the community 1200 01:03:59,640 --> 01:04:01,980 said we are here for our own recovery and 1201 01:04:01,980 --> 01:04:03,839 We can't get sucked into this negativity 1202 01:04:03,839 --> 01:04:08,220 and we have to because it was rampant 1203 01:04:08,220 --> 01:04:11,220 yes, and we all have to really try 1204 01:04:11,220 --> 01:04:13,380 recover and we have to do this for 1205 01:04:13,380 --> 01:04:15,780 ourselves and what happened was also 1206 01:04:15,780 --> 01:04:19,140 that apparently Shelley was accused of 1207 01:04:19,140 --> 01:04:20,640 um, taking a garden burger and throwing 1208 01:04:20,640 --> 01:04:21,599 that though 1209 01:04:21,599 --> 01:04:23,880 Um, somehow the story was told 1210 01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,740 I was in her room, I wasn't in her room, 1211 01:04:25,740 --> 01:04:27,780 I was in the bathroom in the hallway 1212 01:04:27,780 --> 01:04:31,260 It turns out that Samantha admitted that 1213 01:04:31,260 --> 01:04:33,180 it was she who threw away the garden 1214 01:04:33,180 --> 01:04:35,099 burger and it was she who was 1215 01:04:35,099 --> 01:04:36,599 hiding food 1216 01:04:36,599 --> 01:04:39,299 So this is the story of 1217 01:04:39,299 --> 01:04:41,720 garden burger 1218 01:04:44,359 --> 01:04:46,920 both back in Chile about you know a lot 1219 01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:48,839 of questions about nutrition and weight gain 1220 01:04:48,839 --> 01:04:51,660 and so let's try to make it clear 1221 01:04:51,660 --> 01:04:55,079 I'm tired of running away 1222 01:04:55,079 --> 01:04:58,319 the question is a statement, yes 1223 01:04:58,319 --> 01:05:00,180 I just feel like this is a good weight 1224 01:05:00,180 --> 01:05:02,460 For me I'm uncomfortable, it's too much 1225 01:05:02,460 --> 01:05:05,160 food Jody I would be very bad 1226 01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:07,319 nutritionist if I stopped you from 1227 01:05:07,319 --> 01:05:09,780 gaining weight now because you know one 1228 01:05:09,780 --> 01:05:11,520 Can't be healthy at 80 1229 01:05:11,520 --> 01:05:13,319 percentile you know, I mean you think 1230 01:05:13,319 --> 01:05:16,020 they are under 80, well I disagree 1231 01:05:16,020 --> 01:05:19,920 I've never been, never been, wait, are 1232 01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,020 you're looking 1233 01:05:22,020 --> 01:05:24,059 Um, I feel like Shelley needs to reach out. 1234 01:05:24,059 --> 01:05:27,240 100 pounds, I think a girl her age 1235 01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:30,359 and her height is normal, you know I 1236 01:05:30,359 --> 01:05:32,599 I mean, I know you hate hearing this, but 1237 01:05:32,599 --> 01:05:35,640 I really like you, I really want to work 1238 01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:37,020 like you 1239 01:05:37,020 --> 01:05:38,339 Um, I know you're a little mad 1240 01:05:38,339 --> 01:05:39,960 for me in the last few days and 1241 01:05:39,960 --> 01:05:42,299 everyone around here and apologize 1242 01:05:42,299 --> 01:05:44,400 I apologize for saying no 1243 01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:48,839 trust you, no and also what we 1244 01:05:48,839 --> 01:05:51,780 garden Burger guilty Fest I apologize 1245 01:05:51,780 --> 01:05:54,059 for you yes I do 1246 01:05:54,059 --> 01:05:55,920 and it wasn't even in my room, I didn't 1247 01:05:55,920 --> 01:05:56,700 to know 1248 01:05:56,700 --> 01:05:59,460 I apologize for this was said to 1249 01:05:59,460 --> 01:06:01,920 me who was in your room again I 1250 01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:03,799 I wasn't there when it happened 1251 01:06:03,799 --> 01:06:08,660 so I'm sorry I didn't see this on mine 1252 01:06:08,790 --> 01:06:14,900 [Music] 1253 01:06:19,640 --> 01:06:25,700 oh, you cut it, no, I'm Kelly 1254 01:06:26,599 --> 01:06:30,260 sister yes 1255 01:06:35,539 --> 01:06:37,440 thanks 1256 01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:40,200 so I'll be honest, yeah 1257 01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:42,599 Yes, I'm 25 years old. you have a university degree 1258 01:06:42,599 --> 01:06:45,059 and I'm totally like I know that 1259 01:06:45,059 --> 01:06:46,319 I understand you are going through a difficult time 1260 01:06:46,319 --> 01:06:48,420 chilling, I understand all this, but it's 1261 01:06:48,420 --> 01:06:52,980 time I know it's time for you to go 1262 01:06:52,980 --> 01:06:54,960 I know I mean you gotta act like you 1263 01:06:54,960 --> 01:06:57,480 I don't even want to, I don't have time 1264 01:06:57,480 --> 01:06:58,859 I know 1265 01:06:58,859 --> 01:07:01,079 It's like I can't do anything I don't want to do 1266 01:07:01,079 --> 01:07:03,660 She dies and that's what you do 1267 01:07:03,660 --> 01:07:05,880 you reach 80 pounds, which is not 1268 01:07:05,880 --> 01:07:08,400 It's not even funny, I mean, it's not, it's 1269 01:07:08,400 --> 01:07:10,740 like you're going to drop dead at any moment 1270 01:07:10,740 --> 01:07:13,380 and you don't realize it 1271 01:07:13,380 --> 01:07:15,119 I don't mean control yourself, but 1272 01:07:15,119 --> 01:07:17,640 That's what I'm trying to say 1273 01:07:17,640 --> 01:07:20,819 because it's getting old 1274 01:07:20,819 --> 01:07:24,859 I'm sick of this, I'm sick of this 1275 01:07:24,920 --> 01:07:28,020 I'm tired of worrying, I'm tired of 1276 01:07:28,020 --> 01:07:31,260 feeling like a [__ ] because 1277 01:07:31,260 --> 01:07:34,380 Don't you think I care and I care, I just 1278 01:07:34,380 --> 01:07:38,220 I'm trying to do my own thing too 1279 01:07:38,220 --> 01:07:42,599 I just feel so weak compared to her 1280 01:07:42,599 --> 01:07:47,760 ok I'm so stupid and bitter mm-hmm and I 1281 01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:49,559 I think I yell at her 1282 01:07:49,559 --> 01:07:51,359 we know her because I'm yelling at her 1283 01:07:51,359 --> 01:07:53,280 because she looks like me and because 1284 01:07:53,280 --> 01:07:54,900 I want 1285 01:07:54,900 --> 01:07:57,720 like why do I hate myself so much that 1286 01:07:57,720 --> 01:07:59,039 just yell at her because she looks 1287 01:07:59,039 --> 01:08:02,420 I feel like I'm yelling at myself 1288 01:08:09,460 --> 01:08:12,570 [Music] 1289 01:08:20,100 --> 01:08:21,839 let's do a scan and make sure we just 1290 01:08:21,839 --> 01:08:22,979 do a scan and make sure we got it 1291 01:08:22,979 --> 01:08:25,259 everyone here please 1292 01:08:25,259 --> 01:08:26,899 thus 1293 01:08:26,899 --> 01:08:29,520 we feel like we need them 1294 01:08:29,520 --> 01:08:31,500 support the community a little more and 1295 01:08:31,500 --> 01:08:32,939 I don't know people who could have been 1296 01:08:32,939 --> 01:08:35,339 here before we do something we call 1297 01:08:35,339 --> 01:08:37,080 room searches 1298 01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:39,899 this again is really continuing to 1299 01:08:39,899 --> 01:08:41,339 support you, people who can be 1300 01:08:41,339 --> 01:08:43,380 fighting people who may have 1301 01:08:43,380 --> 01:08:45,299 Smuggling and, obviously, some of the 1302 01:08:45,299 --> 01:08:46,560 things we're looking for are the 1303 01:08:46,560 --> 01:08:48,120 things you know you shouldn't have 1304 01:08:48,120 --> 01:08:51,540 gum candy store objects 1305 01:08:51,540 --> 01:08:54,899 cigarettes any type of food sugar 1306 01:08:54,899 --> 01:08:57,179 salty mustard ketchup, those types of 1307 01:08:57,179 --> 01:08:58,259 things 1308 01:08:58,259 --> 01:08:59,359 OK 1309 01:08:59,359 --> 01:09:03,199 never a dull moment 1310 01:09:30,839 --> 01:09:32,960 thanks 1311 01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:36,000 well, people put [__ ] under my pillow and 1312 01:09:36,000 --> 01:09:38,600 It is like 1313 01:09:44,040 --> 01:09:45,859 measuring tape 1314 01:09:45,859 --> 01:09:49,100 and that 1315 01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:58,940 send me some papers for some people 1316 01:10:17,960 --> 01:10:21,080 thanks 1317 01:10:23,219 --> 01:10:27,420 Robin had sugar packets on his body 1318 01:10:27,420 --> 01:10:30,179 Robinette wow 1319 01:10:30,179 --> 01:10:32,219 he's done with sugar, ok, yes, but 1320 01:10:32,219 --> 01:10:35,300 they are not actually storing 1321 01:10:35,780 --> 01:10:38,280 We got something on Charlie, yeah 1322 01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:40,860 let's eat oysters 1323 01:10:40,860 --> 01:10:43,860 cigarettes 1324 01:10:44,100 --> 01:10:46,140 oh you know what she has one of 1325 01:10:46,140 --> 01:10:49,260 sweet things, so that makes 1326 01:10:49,260 --> 01:10:51,480 guys 1327 01:10:51,480 --> 01:10:53,520 around, ok 1328 01:10:53,520 --> 01:10:56,520 300 milligrams of Neurontin mood stabilizer 1329 01:10:56,520 --> 01:10:59,960 I hope this is something she is doing 1330 01:11:04,739 --> 01:11:07,020 I think you're right, I [__ ] Miranda 1331 01:11:07,020 --> 01:11:08,640 in my room 1332 01:11:08,640 --> 01:11:11,120 but 1333 01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:16,860 Holly came to me and I feel like 1334 01:11:16,860 --> 01:11:18,900 I'm really stuck 'cause she's 1335 01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:20,699 how did you tell them you came from 1336 01:11:20,699 --> 01:11:22,920 Me and I are fine [__ ] who else would 1337 01:11:22,920 --> 01:11:24,540 Come because I don't accept 300 1338 01:11:24,540 --> 01:11:27,840 take 600. and I said no, I didn't take it 1339 01:11:27,840 --> 01:11:29,820 tell them so she doesn't think I 1340 01:11:29,820 --> 01:11:32,219 Told you guys so we could keep it a secret 1341 01:11:32,219 --> 01:11:34,199 a little hmm 1342 01:11:34,199 --> 01:11:35,580 Why is she like this depends on me 1343 01:11:35,580 --> 01:11:37,320 life and I'm like [__ ] I already told you 1344 01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:39,420 how do you feel about her putting you 1345 01:11:39,420 --> 01:11:43,219 this position sucks 1346 01:11:44,640 --> 01:11:46,500 I suggest that today you just 1347 01:11:46,500 --> 01:11:48,060 I can't live without this crap in my head 1348 01:11:48,060 --> 01:11:50,640 the rest of my life crap like this 1349 01:11:50,640 --> 01:11:52,320 these things about food and wanting 1350 01:11:52,320 --> 01:11:55,380 come in and control it and 1351 01:11:55,380 --> 01:11:57,719 like I can't continue my whole [__ ] life 1352 01:11:57,719 --> 01:11:59,940 with this in my head 1353 01:11:59,940 --> 01:12:02,580 Like, if it's that high, then I can't do it 1354 01:12:02,580 --> 01:12:04,320 this 1355 01:12:04,320 --> 01:12:06,239 all the time because you can't fight 1356 01:12:06,239 --> 01:12:08,020 every minute of the day like I did 1357 01:12:08,020 --> 01:12:09,420 [Music] 1358 01:12:09,420 --> 01:12:12,239 ok, but I tell you this sometimes 1359 01:12:12,239 --> 01:12:14,340 things we say that we think are not 1360 01:12:14,340 --> 01:12:16,800 connected here tend to be 1361 01:12:16,800 --> 01:12:19,560 so we started talking about filling your 1362 01:12:19,560 --> 01:12:21,960 feelings down making a happy face 1363 01:12:21,960 --> 01:12:25,199 and then we get to the food 1364 01:12:25,199 --> 01:12:28,020 and I really think they are connected 1365 01:12:28,020 --> 01:12:29,760 I think when you assert yourself 1366 01:12:29,760 --> 01:12:32,640 when you take care of yourself when 1367 01:12:32,640 --> 01:12:35,760 Are you able to not have to pretend 1368 01:12:35,760 --> 01:12:36,900 For people 1369 01:12:36,900 --> 01:12:41,340 these symptoms will subside 1370 01:12:41,340 --> 01:12:43,020 I wonder if you've ever thought about what 1371 01:12:43,020 --> 01:12:44,640 we talked about yesterday 1372 01:12:44,640 --> 01:12:47,760 about things from the past that you 1373 01:12:47,760 --> 01:12:49,260 I think you might be over it 1374 01:12:49,260 --> 01:12:52,820 you really might not 1375 01:12:54,840 --> 01:12:57,060 Yes 1376 01:12:57,060 --> 01:12:59,400 It's not over 1377 01:12:59,400 --> 01:13:01,800 ok, well, I'm over it, but it affects me 1378 01:13:01,800 --> 01:13:04,040 yet 1379 01:13:04,980 --> 01:13:08,159 [__ ] improve my relationships 1380 01:13:08,159 --> 01:13:10,380 Shelly is it possible that the whole 1381 01:13:10,380 --> 01:13:13,140 eating disorder, a large part of this is 1382 01:13:13,140 --> 01:13:15,179 carrying around 1383 01:13:15,179 --> 01:13:19,679 things you feel are 1384 01:13:19,679 --> 01:13:22,080 really terrible 1385 01:13:22,080 --> 01:13:25,460 It's hard to talk about 1386 01:13:26,699 --> 01:13:28,679 I forget the feeling you carry 1387 01:13:28,679 --> 01:13:30,860 things with you that you think are 1388 01:13:30,860 --> 01:13:33,900 unspeakable literally unspeakable 1389 01:13:33,900 --> 01:13:37,340 I mean, I don't tell anyone 1390 01:13:49,920 --> 01:13:53,239 so why should I tell you 1391 01:13:54,260 --> 01:13:58,340 I finally woke up like this 1392 01:13:58,500 --> 01:14:00,239 we wanted to bring you three together 1393 01:14:00,239 --> 01:14:01,320 together 1394 01:14:01,320 --> 01:14:03,360 'cause we're having some big ones 1395 01:14:03,360 --> 01:14:06,420 concerns about some things that 1396 01:14:06,420 --> 01:14:09,120 things like this happened in private 1397 01:14:09,120 --> 01:14:11,880 appeared in the room search yesterday 1398 01:14:11,880 --> 01:14:13,860 and we feel that you three have 1399 01:14:13,860 --> 01:14:15,900 information that we consider highly 1400 01:14:15,900 --> 01:14:18,360 It's important that you are honest 1401 01:14:18,360 --> 01:14:21,659 about having some integrity so that 1402 01:14:21,659 --> 01:14:24,480 you can work on your own problems here, but 1403 01:14:24,480 --> 01:14:25,739 also so that we can take the community 1404 01:14:25,739 --> 01:14:27,480 safe 1405 01:14:27,480 --> 01:14:30,620 who would like to start 1406 01:14:46,739 --> 01:14:48,860 Hmm 1407 01:14:58,199 --> 01:15:00,420 This is the hardest thing I've ever done 1408 01:15:00,420 --> 01:15:01,880 I had to do it because it really sucks 1409 01:15:01,880 --> 01:15:05,540 whenever you have a friend 1410 01:15:09,239 --> 01:15:13,219 I'm sorry, but I didn't tell you, but 1411 01:15:16,080 --> 01:15:19,940 you can take ownership of any chat 1412 01:15:20,760 --> 01:15:23,219 Um, I gave it to her and in the first week 1413 01:15:23,219 --> 01:15:24,900 she was here 1414 01:15:24,900 --> 01:15:27,540 because she was going through a difficult time and 1415 01:15:27,540 --> 01:15:30,600 I had just been taken away from everything 1416 01:15:30,600 --> 01:15:31,980 it was just 1417 01:15:31,980 --> 01:15:35,000 really hurting 1418 01:15:36,000 --> 01:15:39,300 I felt really torn between 1419 01:15:39,300 --> 01:15:42,380 two sides 1420 01:15:43,380 --> 01:15:46,199 I'm really confused about what these two were 1421 01:15:46,199 --> 01:15:49,560 sides deep inside me that 1422 01:15:49,560 --> 01:15:51,060 doesn't like lying and is sorry 1423 01:15:51,060 --> 01:15:52,860 guilty of doing this 1424 01:15:52,860 --> 01:15:54,840 and then the side 1425 01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:55,920 Polly 1426 01:15:55,920 --> 01:15:57,300 just being a good friend and it was hard 1427 01:15:57,300 --> 01:15:59,719 you know 1428 01:16:00,659 --> 01:16:02,699 and you say you know friends 1429 01:16:02,699 --> 01:16:04,980 I wouldn't have put you in that position 1430 01:16:04,980 --> 01:16:06,540 but if my friend was taking a major 1431 01:16:06,540 --> 01:16:08,280 anxiety too, I probably would have done 1432 01:16:08,280 --> 01:16:10,699 the same thing 1433 01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:13,920 you're talking about life potentially 1434 01:16:13,920 --> 01:16:16,080 and death I intend to give to someone else 1435 01:16:16,080 --> 01:16:19,080 medication you know this wasn't under 1436 01:16:19,080 --> 01:16:22,739 the care of a psychiatrist you know 1437 01:16:22,739 --> 01:16:25,020 what kind of friend is this when when 1438 01:16:25,020 --> 01:16:27,000 they are really putting it at risk 1439 01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:29,420 Um, your life 1440 01:16:36,739 --> 01:16:39,179 she is the leader, she has many 1441 01:16:39,179 --> 01:16:42,020 very negative power 1442 01:16:42,800 --> 01:16:47,640 you got more, yeah, come on in, guys, okay 1443 01:16:47,640 --> 01:16:50,940 Thanks guys, let's go, yes, I 1444 01:16:50,940 --> 01:16:52,560 I think what you did was very difficult and 1445 01:16:52,560 --> 01:16:55,560 Very brave and showed me a lot of courage 1446 01:16:55,560 --> 01:16:57,000 and integrity 1447 01:16:57,000 --> 01:16:59,219 keeping the secret is destructive for you 1448 01:16:59,219 --> 01:17:01,860 for you two that's where we came from 1449 01:17:01,860 --> 01:17:05,659 ok, what do you want to tell us 1450 01:17:05,820 --> 01:17:08,040 we've both known this for a few weeks 1451 01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:11,159 Polly and Michelle Graf got tattoos 1452 01:17:11,159 --> 01:17:13,340 together 1453 01:17:15,300 --> 01:17:16,860 What are you both worried about? 1454 01:17:16,860 --> 01:17:19,140 about right now 1455 01:17:19,140 --> 01:17:23,000 I hate when people are mean to me 1456 01:17:23,040 --> 01:17:25,320 the community can only be as healthy as 1457 01:17:25,320 --> 01:17:26,400 members who are in the community 1458 01:17:26,400 --> 01:17:29,520 ok and when people are keeping secrets 1459 01:17:29,520 --> 01:17:32,159 and when someone is asking you 1460 01:17:32,159 --> 01:17:34,920 lie for them then it takes away from you 1461 01:17:34,920 --> 01:17:36,900 and its recovery 1462 01:17:36,900 --> 01:17:38,580 get lots of credit for both of you 1463 01:17:38,580 --> 01:17:40,140 be willing to go there and I think 1464 01:17:40,140 --> 01:17:43,520 you just need to stay in that space 1465 01:17:47,040 --> 01:17:48,840 I think it's pretty clear that we need 1466 01:17:48,840 --> 01:17:50,900 make Polly leave the community 1467 01:17:50,900 --> 01:17:52,920 because she has a very negative view 1468 01:17:52,920 --> 01:17:54,659 absolutely 1469 01:17:54,659 --> 01:17:56,460 influence on them 1470 01:17:56,460 --> 01:17:59,040 she is a bad place 1471 01:17:59,040 --> 01:18:02,040 tattoos, huh, I know, I wonder what it is 1472 01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:04,140 where is everything ok, I think it will be difficult 1473 01:18:04,140 --> 01:18:06,260 night 1474 01:18:07,380 --> 01:18:11,100 hello mom yes 1475 01:18:11,100 --> 01:18:12,659 Um, we need to start making arrangements. 1476 01:18:12,659 --> 01:18:14,159 for me to come home 1477 01:18:14,159 --> 01:18:17,460 I'm sitting here with the team and they 1478 01:18:17,460 --> 01:18:21,440 they're asking me to leave 1479 01:18:26,040 --> 01:18:29,100 we broke up weeks ago, their problem is that 1480 01:18:29,100 --> 01:18:32,040 I was given the opportunity to confess these 1481 01:18:32,040 --> 01:18:34,080 things and I don't 1482 01:18:34,080 --> 01:18:36,540 please give her another chance, I mean 1483 01:18:36,540 --> 01:18:39,060 She knows she's wrong, please, there is 1484 01:18:39,060 --> 01:18:43,140 nothing here to help you 1485 01:18:43,140 --> 01:18:46,199 There is no support system for anorexics 1486 01:18:46,199 --> 01:18:49,199 individuals 1487 01:18:50,840 --> 01:18:54,659 I'm begging you, please let her stay and if 1488 01:18:54,659 --> 01:18:57,960 she does something that I will never say 1489 01:18:57,960 --> 01:19:00,239 another word 1490 01:19:00,239 --> 01:19:03,960 her father will never pay again if 1491 01:19:03,960 --> 01:19:06,540 you send her away 1492 01:19:06,540 --> 01:19:10,219 and I can't pay for it alone 1493 01:19:10,500 --> 01:19:13,440 It's really this again, we gotta kind 1494 01:19:13,440 --> 01:19:15,900 to see where Polly is and what 1495 01:19:15,900 --> 01:19:17,940 She's willing to do I'll do anything 1496 01:19:17,940 --> 01:19:20,040 apolly, I think we've been through this 1497 01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:22,560 road before, is it possible that Susan will 1498 01:19:22,560 --> 01:19:24,360 the discharge plans 1499 01:19:24,360 --> 01:19:27,060 Um, for Polly, we can get 1500 01:19:27,060 --> 01:19:28,800 something prepared for Polly to leave 1501 01:19:28,800 --> 01:19:31,100 tomorrow 1502 01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:41,880 out of state to send her away, ok and 1503 01:19:41,880 --> 01:19:43,620 We certainly understand your frustration 1504 01:19:43,620 --> 01:19:46,880 no you do not 1505 01:19:50,400 --> 01:19:52,800 So I think you and her dad need to talk 1506 01:19:52,800 --> 01:19:54,900 about it in a different way is that 1507 01:19:54,900 --> 01:19:57,480 What do you know, we're not the ones kicking 1508 01:19:57,480 --> 01:20:02,900 you don't know him, I'm sorry mom, it's okay 1509 01:20:06,540 --> 01:20:09,360 ok, I just got kicked out, thanks everyone 1510 01:20:09,360 --> 01:20:11,960 I thank 1511 01:20:15,860 --> 01:20:19,040 [Applause] 1512 01:20:28,560 --> 01:20:30,739 foreigner 1513 01:20:53,450 --> 01:20:56,520 [Music] 1514 01:21:02,280 --> 01:21:04,460 foreigner 1515 01:21:10,320 --> 01:21:13,580 or did I get vomited again 1516 01:21:14,639 --> 01:21:16,620 I'm too exhausted to find it right 1517 01:21:16,620 --> 01:21:18,800 now 1518 01:21:23,830 --> 01:21:27,540 [Music] 1519 01:21:27,540 --> 01:21:30,920 come here darling 1520 01:21:31,670 --> 01:21:34,770 [Music] 1521 01:21:37,040 --> 01:21:38,639 OK 1522 01:21:38,639 --> 01:21:41,659 there's my card 1523 01:21:43,739 --> 01:21:46,699 right, sweetie 1524 01:21:50,940 --> 01:21:54,020 you are falling 1525 01:21:54,020 --> 01:21:57,179 It's not your fault I caused this 1526 01:21:57,179 --> 01:21:59,420 myself 1527 01:22:02,239 --> 01:22:05,600 this will be fun 1528 01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:09,739 foreigner 1529 01:22:34,620 --> 01:22:37,100 all good 1530 01:22:38,100 --> 01:22:41,420 installation yes 1531 01:22:42,000 --> 01:22:44,280 I totally miss mine 1532 01:22:44,280 --> 01:22:46,520 flight 1533 01:23:01,040 --> 01:23:05,659 I'm smoking your cab, yeah, okay 1534 01:23:13,139 --> 01:23:16,139 foreigner 1535 01:23:25,980 --> 01:23:34,140 [Music] 1536 01:23:34,880 --> 01:23:37,800 But a lot has happened, it seems 1537 01:23:37,800 --> 01:23:41,460 the last week the last week and a half 1538 01:23:41,460 --> 01:23:44,480 what everyone thinks 1539 01:23:44,639 --> 01:23:46,739 last week we talked about this it's so 1540 01:23:46,739 --> 01:23:48,239 negative here and it's so chaotic and 1541 01:23:48,239 --> 01:23:50,820 It's so dramatic but only we can turn it around 1542 01:23:50,820 --> 01:23:52,920 that's it out there 1543 01:23:52,920 --> 01:23:55,500 and I was feeling at my lowest point a few years ago 1544 01:23:55,500 --> 01:23:57,420 days ago 1545 01:23:57,420 --> 01:23:59,219 but the fact is the other 1546 01:23:59,219 --> 01:24:00,719 Last night I really thought about it 1547 01:24:00,719 --> 01:24:02,880 and part of me for a fleeting moment 1548 01:24:02,880 --> 01:24:04,860 I imagined a better life 1549 01:24:04,860 --> 01:24:07,320 and maybe no pun intended, but want 1550 01:24:07,320 --> 01:24:09,719 I like recovery 1551 01:24:09,719 --> 01:24:11,040 I was talking to a group of people who 1552 01:24:11,040 --> 01:24:12,239 said well from here on out, I mean there 1553 01:24:12,239 --> 01:24:14,159 There may be days when I don't want to go out 1554 01:24:14,159 --> 01:24:17,159 out of bed and I don't think I could continue 1555 01:24:17,159 --> 01:24:18,600 but I'll give everything I have 1556 01:24:18,600 --> 01:24:21,659 I got it and then I made a pact with a couple 1557 01:24:21,659 --> 01:24:23,460 of people here, but I was going to do 1558 01:24:23,460 --> 01:24:27,659 and they said ok, I'll do it and the 1559 01:24:27,659 --> 01:24:30,060 really the only requirement to participate in this 1560 01:24:30,060 --> 01:24:31,679 the package is the number one thing you need to do 1561 01:24:31,679 --> 01:24:34,080 Positive choices you need to be willing to make 1562 01:24:34,080 --> 01:24:38,639 not to break the rules here in any way 1563 01:24:38,639 --> 01:24:40,739 and you need to be willing 1564 01:24:40,739 --> 01:24:44,820 try to give everything you have 1565 01:24:44,820 --> 01:24:46,739 so if there is anyone else who wants 1566 01:24:46,739 --> 01:24:49,679 would you like to join me in transforming Renfrew into 1567 01:24:49,679 --> 01:24:52,080 a positive place 1568 01:24:52,080 --> 01:24:54,980 stand 1569 01:24:56,639 --> 01:25:00,120 I just want to say this, hmm 1570 01:25:00,120 --> 01:25:03,000 for you to say that coming from 1571 01:25:03,000 --> 01:25:05,340 claim you were on the first day you 1572 01:25:05,340 --> 01:25:07,500 I just admire you for being able to stand 1573 01:25:07,500 --> 01:25:10,280 stand up and say it 1574 01:25:12,800 --> 01:25:15,869 [Music] 1575 01:25:21,240 --> 01:25:24,060 [Applause] 1576 01:25:24,060 --> 01:25:26,760 I'm really nervous about going home 1577 01:25:26,760 --> 01:25:29,219 because I don't think I'm ready 1578 01:25:29,219 --> 01:25:33,120 I still want to lose 40 kilos to get 1579 01:25:33,120 --> 01:25:35,760 my ideal weight 1580 01:25:35,760 --> 01:25:38,699 I have my first day and I will be 1581 01:25:38,699 --> 01:25:40,920 back planned 1582 01:25:40,920 --> 01:25:43,320 It is 1583 01:25:43,320 --> 01:25:46,820 there is no food involved 1584 01:25:47,600 --> 01:25:51,380 no, I want to go home 1585 01:26:02,400 --> 01:26:07,280 look at this guy it's almost enough 1586 01:26:07,500 --> 01:26:10,139 You're crawling out of your skin, huh 1587 01:26:10,139 --> 01:26:12,120 you want this, mom, you don't understand 1588 01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:15,320 I want it out 1589 01:26:27,900 --> 01:26:30,659 I'm wondering if Brittany 1590 01:26:30,659 --> 01:26:33,960 Leaving is just bringing up a bunch of 1591 01:26:33,960 --> 01:26:37,139 things for you now and um 1592 01:26:37,139 --> 01:26:38,520 on that 1593 01:26:38,520 --> 01:26:40,620 somehow it's about trying to cope 1594 01:26:40,620 --> 01:26:42,179 with the feelings that are that are 1595 01:26:42,179 --> 01:26:43,560 Coming to you at the end of 1596 01:26:43,560 --> 01:26:44,820 treatment 1597 01:26:44,820 --> 01:26:46,739 Both Allison and I want to work hard 1598 01:26:46,739 --> 01:26:48,540 hard with you now to try to keep 1599 01:26:48,540 --> 01:26:49,500 things 1600 01:26:49,500 --> 01:26:51,239 kind of together we know it's not 1601 01:26:51,239 --> 01:26:52,739 fixed, we know there is still a lot 1602 01:26:52,739 --> 01:26:54,900 things to do, but I think there's a piece 1603 01:26:54,900 --> 01:26:57,000 of work you need to do now 1604 01:26:57,000 --> 01:26:59,400 which is about being able to say goodbye 1605 01:26:59,400 --> 01:27:02,040 and get ready to move on to the next 1606 01:27:02,040 --> 01:27:03,659 stage for you 1607 01:27:03,659 --> 01:27:05,940 and if you get into too much of a crisis with 1608 01:27:05,940 --> 01:27:07,500 not eat and 1609 01:27:07,500 --> 01:27:09,600 maybe talking about how you go 1610 01:27:09,600 --> 01:27:11,699 return to your eating disorder or 1611 01:27:11,699 --> 01:27:14,100 become insecure in any way, they will 1612 01:27:14,100 --> 01:27:15,540 be things that will distract you 1613 01:27:15,540 --> 01:27:17,400 to deal with the feelings that 1614 01:27:17,400 --> 01:27:20,239 Are you thinking about leaving 1615 01:27:21,179 --> 01:27:22,440 I don't feel comfortable with you 1616 01:27:22,440 --> 01:27:23,639 leaving because I don't feel that you are 1617 01:27:23,639 --> 01:27:25,860 Okay, I'm actually scared to death 1618 01:27:25,860 --> 01:27:26,580 you 1619 01:27:26,580 --> 01:27:27,960 It is 1620 01:27:27,960 --> 01:27:29,040 Um, that's something that's not really 1621 01:27:29,040 --> 01:27:30,840 easy to say because as much as I want 1622 01:27:30,840 --> 01:27:32,460 you do good 1623 01:27:32,460 --> 01:27:35,400 and I really want you to just 1624 01:27:35,400 --> 01:27:36,780 the fact that you are already slipping 1625 01:27:36,780 --> 01:27:39,239 and you are still impatient, put treatment 1626 01:27:39,239 --> 01:27:41,880 for me if you don't want 1627 01:27:41,880 --> 01:27:45,120 my mother is forcing me 1628 01:27:45,120 --> 01:27:46,980 you can't force me to do something that 1629 01:27:46,980 --> 01:27:48,659 I don't want to do it because she can't do it 1630 01:27:48,659 --> 01:27:51,239 in my head and control how old I am 1631 01:27:51,239 --> 01:27:53,280 you 15. 1632 01:27:53,280 --> 01:27:55,500 Jen, what kind of things could you have 1633 01:27:55,500 --> 01:27:58,739 avoided if you had gotten help at 15. 1634 01:27:58,739 --> 01:28:01,620 Damn, I would have liked so many 1635 01:28:01,620 --> 01:28:03,920 things 1636 01:28:04,860 --> 01:28:09,480 I looked at 12 years and said what 1637 01:28:09,480 --> 01:28:11,159 I remember 1638 01:28:11,159 --> 01:28:14,219 I remember sitting at tables, I remember 1639 01:28:14,219 --> 01:28:16,380 going 1640 01:28:16,380 --> 01:28:19,340 to Thanksgiving dinners with 1641 01:28:19,340 --> 01:28:24,380 prepackaged meals for me 1642 01:28:24,659 --> 01:28:26,820 and just sit at the table with others 1643 01:28:26,820 --> 01:28:29,280 people eating my food 1644 01:28:29,280 --> 01:28:31,920 while everyone was enjoying 1645 01:28:31,920 --> 01:28:34,920 Thanksgiving 1646 01:28:35,219 --> 01:28:38,280 it was embarrassing and shameful 1647 01:28:38,280 --> 01:28:41,300 and now I'm 28 and I'm a little girl 1648 01:28:41,300 --> 01:28:45,139 no period 1649 01:28:45,300 --> 01:28:48,120 and my boyfriend told me that I want 1650 01:28:48,120 --> 01:28:49,920 spend the rest of my life with you and 1651 01:28:49,920 --> 01:28:52,020 at the rate we're going I'm going to bury 1652 01:28:52,020 --> 01:28:55,100 you in five years 1653 01:28:55,620 --> 01:29:00,139 I don't want anyone to be mad at me 1654 01:29:01,380 --> 01:29:02,880 Brittany what's the difference between 1655 01:29:02,880 --> 01:29:04,560 be angry and worried about 1656 01:29:04,560 --> 01:29:06,540 Someone what's the difference I don't 1657 01:29:06,540 --> 01:29:09,360 I want someone to care, ok, we'll see 1658 01:29:09,360 --> 01:29:12,480 that someone we care about is 1659 01:29:12,480 --> 01:29:16,070 basically killing yourself 1660 01:29:16,070 --> 01:29:17,760 [Music] 1661 01:29:17,760 --> 01:29:19,920 I saw someone die 1662 01:29:19,920 --> 01:29:22,800 It's not a pleasant sight and I can't 1663 01:29:22,800 --> 01:29:24,659 imagine losing a child 1664 01:29:24,659 --> 01:29:26,460 let me try to think of your mother 1665 01:29:26,460 --> 01:29:28,739 she wanted you to have life and now 1666 01:29:28,739 --> 01:29:30,360 you're only breaking up because you want to 1667 01:29:30,360 --> 01:29:32,100 be thin 1668 01:29:32,100 --> 01:29:34,320 my son 1669 01:29:34,320 --> 01:29:36,179 It is 1670 01:29:36,179 --> 01:29:38,520 It's everything to what my children are everything 1671 01:29:38,520 --> 01:29:40,080 my 1672 01:29:40,080 --> 01:29:41,340 I choose to bring you into this world 1673 01:29:41,340 --> 01:29:43,620 he is an innocent boy and when he was two 1674 01:29:43,620 --> 01:29:45,120 years 1675 01:29:45,120 --> 01:29:47,940 I used it to feed my disorder every 1676 01:29:47,940 --> 01:29:50,100 tonight I have to give Josh a bath I have to give him 1677 01:29:50,100 --> 01:29:52,260 Josh, a bath, I have to give Josh a bath, I took 1678 01:29:52,260 --> 01:29:53,760 he turned him like this in the shower 1679 01:29:53,760 --> 01:29:55,560 He could play with his toys, well I did 1680 01:29:55,560 --> 01:29:58,460 that went down the drain 1681 01:29:59,060 --> 01:30:02,400 disgusting I lost a son to bulimia 1682 01:30:02,400 --> 01:30:07,139 I miscarried, this is what life becomes 1683 01:30:07,139 --> 01:30:08,820 I do not watch TV 1684 01:30:08,820 --> 01:30:10,860 I haven't seen any movies, I don't have 1685 01:30:10,860 --> 01:30:12,239 friends 1686 01:30:12,239 --> 01:30:15,300 the only thing in my life 1687 01:30:15,300 --> 01:30:17,699 That's what I step on the scale and get out of 1688 01:30:17,699 --> 01:30:19,020 scale get on the scale I get out 1689 01:30:19,020 --> 01:30:20,699 scale, run, I'll come back, I'll enter the 1690 01:30:20,699 --> 01:30:22,380 scale change mine to her seven times 1691 01:30:22,380 --> 01:30:24,000 before leaving home in the morning 1692 01:30:24,000 --> 01:30:25,500 I changed my clothes several times and 1693 01:30:25,500 --> 01:30:28,940 again at two in the morning 1694 01:30:28,980 --> 01:30:32,100 is the only thing that matters is 1695 01:30:32,100 --> 01:30:36,060 pathetic who is doing this 1696 01:30:36,060 --> 01:30:39,420 I miss this a lot 1697 01:30:39,420 --> 01:30:42,600 so that's what I wanted 1698 01:30:42,600 --> 01:30:44,820 I know you're in high school and you're 1699 01:30:44,820 --> 01:30:48,739 surrounded by this please 1700 01:30:49,520 --> 01:30:53,280 and I'm not one of them, I can't take it 1701 01:30:53,280 --> 01:30:53,640 no more 1702 01:30:53,640 --> 01:30:56,819 [Applause] 1703 01:30:57,570 --> 01:30:59,280 [Music] 1704 01:30:59,280 --> 01:31:01,440 he is overweight and I never 1705 01:31:01,440 --> 01:31:04,420 I will miss 1706 01:31:04,420 --> 01:31:07,670 [Music] 1707 01:31:08,699 --> 01:31:11,300 are you upset 1708 01:31:12,020 --> 01:31:15,679 I am so sick 1709 01:31:24,300 --> 01:31:26,840 Ness 1710 01:31:32,010 --> 01:31:35,859 [Music] 1711 01:31:36,000 --> 01:31:39,000 foreigner 1712 01:31:39,970 --> 01:31:43,289 [Music] 1713 01:32:07,100 --> 01:32:10,159 thanks 1714 01:32:11,760 --> 01:32:13,260 I feel like I'm leaving, you're leaving 1715 01:32:13,260 --> 01:32:16,340 and I'll be the only one here 1716 01:32:16,340 --> 01:32:19,800 anyone they are with 1717 01:32:19,800 --> 01:32:23,900 I had money, I would stay longer 1718 01:32:24,659 --> 01:32:26,699 I can even imagine myself sitting 1719 01:32:26,699 --> 01:32:28,800 in an apartment alone what do I do 1720 01:32:28,800 --> 01:32:30,840 what I treat myself as if it weren't 1721 01:32:30,840 --> 01:32:33,260 used to it 1722 01:32:36,840 --> 01:32:38,940 This kind of [__ ] happens and I'm around 1723 01:32:38,940 --> 01:32:41,239 myself 1724 01:32:41,620 --> 01:32:46,680 [Music] 1725 01:32:58,699 --> 01:33:02,760 If you don't mind, I'll swim here 1726 01:33:02,760 --> 01:33:05,880 so do you have plans for tonight, no 1727 01:33:05,880 --> 01:33:08,219 what are you going to do I don't know 1728 01:33:08,219 --> 01:33:10,139 everything will be fine 1729 01:33:10,139 --> 01:33:13,280 it will have to be 1730 01:33:17,940 --> 01:33:19,380 zero 1731 01:33:19,380 --> 01:33:21,659 you can call us if you need us, you know 1732 01:33:21,659 --> 01:33:25,520 that you know our number yes 1733 01:33:29,880 --> 01:33:31,500 Seriously, if you're not going to be fine 1734 01:33:31,500 --> 01:33:34,500 answer the phone, ok, I'll go ok, thank you 1735 01:33:34,500 --> 01:33:36,840 you because you worked hard, ok 1736 01:33:36,840 --> 01:33:39,480 thanks 1737 01:33:39,480 --> 01:33:41,719 foreigner 1738 01:33:44,210 --> 01:33:47,279 [Music] 1739 01:33:52,220 --> 01:34:06,669 [Music] 1740 01:34:11,320 --> 01:34:22,159 [Music] 1741 01:34:22,159 --> 01:34:24,540 I have enormous respect 1742 01:34:24,540 --> 01:34:26,699 for how hard it is to do what you have 1743 01:34:26,699 --> 01:34:28,199 finished here 1744 01:34:28,199 --> 01:34:31,100 very difficult 1745 01:34:33,360 --> 01:34:36,060 Everything fine now 1746 01:34:36,060 --> 01:34:38,719 goodbye 1747 01:34:43,739 --> 01:34:47,000 go when you have fun 1748 01:34:49,370 --> 01:34:52,529 [Music] 1749 01:34:54,060 --> 01:34:57,060 foreigner 1750 01:34:58,060 --> 01:35:08,199 [Music] 1751 01:35:38,040 --> 01:35:38,890 very nervous 1752 01:35:38,890 --> 01:35:40,520 [Music] 1753 01:35:40,520 --> 01:35:43,800 hating, I'm hating here, so where do I 1754 01:35:43,800 --> 01:35:43,950 go 1755 01:35:43,950 --> 01:35:47,100 [Music] 1756 01:35:47,900 --> 01:35:49,690 I'm eating your children 1757 01:35:49,690 --> 01:35:51,739 [Music] 1758 01:35:51,739 --> 01:35:55,940 Might as well eat it like normal people 1759 01:36:13,690 --> 01:36:22,189 [Music] 1760 01:36:26,119 --> 01:36:30,080 okay bye 1761 01:36:34,040 --> 01:36:37,760 some more cone 1762 01:36:40,380 --> 01:36:43,040 what 1763 01:36:43,580 --> 01:36:47,000 you are hungry 1764 01:36:49,320 --> 01:36:54,169 [Music] 1765 01:36:56,610 --> 01:36:59,670 [Music] 1766 01:37:03,420 --> 01:37:06,420 foreigner 1767 01:38:06,239 --> 01:38:08,360 thanks 1768 01:38:24,070 --> 01:38:27,180 [Music] 1769 01:38:29,340 --> 01:38:31,350 foreigner 1770 01:38:31,350 --> 01:38:59,400 [Music] 1771 01:38:59,400 --> 01:39:01,340 foreigner 1772 01:39:01,340 --> 01:39:15,000 [Music] 1773 01:39:18,360 --> 01:39:47,900 [Music] 1774 01:39:47,900 --> 01:39:50,830 thanks 1775 01:39:50,830 --> 01:40:18,119 [Music] 1776 01:40:18,119 --> 01:40:21,119 foreigner 1777 01:40:24,000 --> 02:40:24,000 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