All language subtitles for The.Other.Sister.1999.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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Bye, Carla.

Thomas Porter, get off of that.

Ah, good morning. Jason, thank
you for calling the auto club.

Good morning, Dr. Tate.
How are you?

Dr. Johnson.
Carla's ready to go.

She's just saying goodbye to all
her friends. Very popular girl.

Very popular.
Louise?

Carla? Carla,
your father's here.

Pumpkin!

Ohh, Carla, come on. We talked about this.
You're ready to go home.

Right?
You're ready to go home.

She'll be fine. She'll be okay.
You're ready. You can do it.

We're all so glad you're
comin' home, pumpkin.

Heather flew in from New York,
and Caroline came from school.

And mom-- boy, she's just so
excited, she keeps saying,

"you get my Carla
back here fast."

Try these. I'm sorry the headset hurt
your ears, but they don't come in sizes.

How much longer before we land?
We're ahead of schedule.

- We should be landing in about 15 minutes.
- Thank you.

Teeth okay?

Yes, they're okay.

Honey, I'd like the girls to come with me
to the palace of fine arts this weekend...

Because there's this special exhibition--
Uh-uh, Carla. Oh, Carla, dear.

Can you please try to eat it with your
fork, and that would be very-- Carla.

With your fork.
No, no, dear.

I said with the fork,
not with the knife, dear.

All right. No, no.
No more cake. No. No.

Excuse me.

- No, no, wait a second.
- Oh, my gosh.

Radley. Radley.

Please, come on. You're supposed to
handle-- please, radley. Radley.

Leave me alone!
Carla. Carla.

What the hell do they know? they are
experts, and she has all the symptoms.

She has significant social adjustment
problems, and now her school--

I'm sorry. Where's my drink?
What's the matter?

Oh, your drink.
It's right there.

Now her regular school won't even take
her back. Ah, I need another drink.

Forget the drink, radley!

Now listen to me. We need to talk
about Carla. Do you understand?

She is beautiful!
Have you looked at her?

She nearly burned the house down with the other
two girls in it. Radley, we can't do this.

It was an accident. You know that.
It was not.

We can't keep saying
things like that.

We can't keep saying, "Carla is a
slow learner, Carla will blossom."

Those are lies. Now, radley,
we have to do something.

We have to make a decision. This is
a special school in Santa Barbara.

It is for
the mentally challenged.

Right there. They don't allow adults
and parents to go visit them.

They have limited visitation, and
let me tell you something, radley.

If it doesn't work out,
she doesn't have to be there.

I don't want her to be retarded.
Of course you don't.

Of course you don't.
I understand completely.

We have to send her there. We
don't have a choice. All right?

Sign it. How are you two doing here?
Can I get you anything?

Can I get you anything?

Uh, no, I've got water,
and, uh-- ah.

We ordered a vegetarian worm.
No?

I'll see if I can find one in coach.
I would appreciate that.

I'd like to be the first to welcome
you to San Francisco airport.

It's currently 54 degrees
in the bay area...

And a beautiful, clear day.

Thank you for choosing
to fly with us.

She's here!
She's home. Mrs Tate!

Come on.

All right. Okay.
Heather! Hang up!

She's home!

That call was important, and you yelling in the
background is not exactly good for business.

- I'm sorry.
- Here we are.

Ladies and gentlemen, the
homecoming queen, Carla Tate.

We're all waiting for you.
Come on, honey.

Bring tickles.
Come on.

Ohh, hello, Carla.

Welcome home.
G-- hello. Hello.

Uh, would you like
some help with that, sir?

Hi, Carla! Welcome home. Carla,
it's so good to have you home.

Thanks. Say hello to Carla.
We missed you, Carla.

Who's that? Uh-- oh, well, um--

This is Jeff Reed.

Actually, Carla, I have kind of
a surprise for you because...

We're engaged to be married.

Ooh, yea!

Well, let me take your coat, dear.
All right?

No! Oh. You sure?
You don't want--

All right, fine. Just-- Dr. Johnson
said that it would be nice...

If I got everybody presents.

Oh! And I thought so too.

Well, thank you, Carla.

It's, uh--
It's necklaces.

And they're beautiful.
Carla!

- Say cheese!
- Winnie!

- Welcome home! It's so good to see you.
- I missed you!

Sweetheart!

We were thinking that maybe we would
just like to elope, you know?

That's very funny,
but not hysterical.

We're gonna have a big wedding
ceremony at the church.

I know. We're gonna have the reception at
the club. You remember the club, Carla?

Yeah.

You could just put this in your lap.
That's very nice that way.

You look very grown up. So I hear you
and Jeff settled on a honeymoon spot.

Did you two do it yet?

No. Caroline. She's gonna spit it out.
I can see it.

Sex is something that we talk about
in private, I think. Am I right?

No, but my teacher
at the school says...

That two people do it
when they're in love.

Well, I'm sorry, but I'm sure
she meant that you do it...

After you're married or something.
Definitely.

Then you don't talk about it
ever again in your whole life.

- A special dessert for Carla.
- Oh, boy.

Please. So a doctorate, Jeff?
That is so refreshing.

So what is your doctorate
dissertation gonna be on?

Multi-tiered financing of
petrol chemical surveys...

In an uncertain
political terrain.

Translation: finding the big bucks
in tiny little countries...

- Whose names you can't pronounce.
- Wow!

It's so good to hear someone's actually
using their college education.

Come on. You know, I'm not teaching second
grade because I happen to like children.

I think that they're
the hope of the world.

Of course they're the hope of the world,
but really isn't it just as noble...

To be a college professor
and earn four times the money?

- Mother!
- You know, daddy, will you make a toast right now?

I'll be glad to make a toast.
To the Tate family and its--

- I want to go to school also.
- That's great.

Dear, you just completed school. In fact, I think
they gave you a certificate of completion.

I am going to be
a veterinarian's assistant.

Wow! but to do that, I need
a high school diploma.

I think the best thing for right now would
be just to have a nice, long vacation,

and we'll explore
your options later.

- Okay. To the ta-- - I would like
to explore my options now, mother.

Carla, we're all just a little too tired
for such an important conversation.

So, radley--

To the Tate family,
all of us together again.

Follow me. Hurry.

- Just follow me.
- Stop it.

Stop following me.

I can't, stupid.

Stop it! I told you,
I can't, stupid.

Stop laughing at me.

Oh, my goodness!
Are you all right?

Carla!
Yeah.

All right. Now, I want you to
close your eyes. Close your eyes.

Okay, Carla.
All right.

No, stop, stop. Stop.
You can stop. Good girl.

Open your eyes.
Surprise. Do you--

What do you think?
You think-- do you like it?

You gave my room to somebody else?
No!

I redecorated it for you, dear.
I just changed it a little.

But where is my tea party table
that was right here?

Well, Carla, those are little-girl
things, and you're a young woman now.

Remember, downstairs you were talking
about taking on more responsibility.

Well, this is--
I want my things.

Carla, I really think that you should
live with these things for a while,

and you'll see, I'm sure that
you'll grow to like them very much.

Anyway, Dr. Johnson said that, uh,
these are your favorite colors.

You like red, don't you?
Where--

Carla, wh--
Why are your eyes closed?

I'm remembering my old room.

Ohh! Heather?

Heather!

Bye.

I'm really sorry we didn't
visit you more frequently,

but I got a job in New York,
and Caroline went to college.

So-- yeah, but that's
okay 'cause sometimes...

We thought that the visits
sometimes upset the parents...

More than it made
the kids happy.

Well, we're sorry, Carla.

But I liked all your letters
that you wrote, Heather.

They were better
than Caroline's...

'Cause she mostly drew pictures.

What?

Honey, I think you just-- she's
overwhelmed by all of this.

Why don't you just relax?
You did great, okay?

Just don't be
so hard on yourself.

Radley, I'm gonna
make it up to that girl.

I really am.

Winnie!

Your mother said
another 15 minutes.

Did you tell her that I
don't like tennis still?

She said that all well-bred
girls play tennis,

chess or bridge.

Is it 15 minutes yet?

We'll look at that.
Hello, Mrs. Tate.

Oh, how are you?
Victoria, you look so lovely.

I'd like you to meet my daughter.
This is Carla.

Hello, Carla. Didn't your other
daughter, Heather, get married?

No, no. Actually,
it's Caroline is engaged.

But anyway, I want to see
a couple of sweater sets.

Carla, come on. That's a
very nice shirt, mom.

Very beautiful feet.
Nice toes.

And the sock really
accentuates your feet.

You know that the Chinese
say that the toes...

Are the windows to the soul?
They do?

I've been to Hong Kong several
times, and I've never heard that.

Why don't you just, uh, enlighten
us with your knowledge of shoes?

- Do you have this in a size eight?
- She's a little uptight.

What? It's tight. This
shoe's a little tight.

It'll-- here. How 'bout these?
These red ones here.

Yes, this is a fun shoe, mom. I don't
think so. Thank you very much.

What about these with the heels?
Remember the leather?

This is hip. Hip. Those are not
what we want. Thank you so much.

Mothers are always right.

And today the dogs
are here to be seen...

In the hopes that they'll be adopted
by the nice people of Sutter hills.

I'm a friend of your mother's.

Your mother was the one who made this
animal rescue shelter a possibility.

No. And she did a lot of other
things in Sutter hills.

You're too kind. The youth
orchestra, the theater, the library.

Wow. Today your mother's gonna get
recognition, which she deserves.

...my job to introduce the head of our
Sutter hills city council, drew Edison.

Excuse me.
Sure. Of course.

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

There are many people to thank
for this wonderful shelter.

Hello, puppy.
Carla, please.

Hello, puppy.

From a bake sale in my mother--
Pucky Ryan's-- garden.

Carla, please don't do that.
You're disrupting--

Woof!

Woof!
Carla.

Elizabeth. Elizabeth,
your daughter is barking.

Carla!

Elizabeth,
now they're all barking.

Carla, dear. Oh, I'll quiet them.
They like me.

- Carla, Carla!
- Hello, puppies. I'll teach you how to behave.

- I orale! Vámonos.
- Go, go, go.

No! Behave! Come
back in the cage.

It was so embarrassing, radley.

I feel like I try all these
things, and nothing works.

I've been doing my best to have fun with
her, but I don't know what fun for her is.

She won't even tell me.

Honestly, I just want to quit.

Mrs. Tate! Mrs. Tate!
Carla's run away!

When the police picked her up,
she gave them another name...

And listed this as her home address,
so they threw her back here.

Here's the police report. Did she
really say that I'm smothering her?

In so many words. Do you want
to read the police report?

I want you to know that I don't understand
any of this, not for one second.

I give her love, I protect her, I teach
her, and suddenly that's smothering.

Those are her words,
not mine, Mrs. Tate.

Did she tell you that I took her to the pet
shelter so she could possibly get a job?

Yes, and we agreed it ended badly.
Could you not--

That's a hand-carved Indian relic.
I'm sorry.

I also enrolled her in a calligraphy
class, an origami class.

- I even got her into that-- - she
doesn't want to do those things.

They don't interest her.
They don't work for her.

- Maybe Carla doesn't know what works for her.
- And you do.

I think so.
I'm her mother.

That's why she tried to hitchhike
over 200 miles to get back here?

Would she do that again?
I believe she will, yes.

If things continue at home the way
they've been going, yes, absolutely yes.

And we were lucky this time.
She came back here.

A lot of kids run away,
we never hear from them again.

This is a girl determined to
push the edge of the envelope.

And I, for one, I like the
fact that she never quits.

Specifically, she wants to attend
this, uh, bay area polytech.

A public vocational school? Is
that what you're talking about?

They do welding there. She can't
possibly keep up with that.

She's going to be humiliated. You don't
know they're going to humiliate her.

Of course they're going to humiliate her!
They did it when she was young.

She's got to have the
opportunity to meet challenges.

Do you want the kid to remain
a child the rest of her life,

or do you want to let her grow into an adult,
take the same risks that you and I take?

I want her to take risks. It's the
kind of ri-- are you a parent?

Uh, no, not yet, no, but I
have worked with children,

including yours, for ten years.

You think she should go to
school and be on her own?

Independence can give Carla
something...

That you and I will never
be able to give her.

- Dignity.
- What?

- Dignity.
- Dignity.

Okay, honey, here we are now.

You sure you don't want me to walk you in?
No, dad, I'm not-- I'm fine.

Come on, man, you got to
remember to lock your bike up.

Your mom's getting tired
of buying you bikes.

Citizenship test?

The courses are English,
history and political science.

Hey, new girl.
You looking to score?

Hey, send me some vibes,
wolf eyes.

Yo, mama.
Welcome to the party.

Hey, don't run, baby doll.
Don't run.

Where are you goin'?

Oh, yeah, baby.
She's got the pepper spray!

She's packing now. Go
on through, wolf eyes.

Go on through.

I have everything you need
to get started, I do hope.

Hi, my name is Carla Tate.
Nice to meet you.

Uh, you're taking computer 101.
Yeah.

That's okay, isn't it? The only requirement
at polytechnic is that you pay.

That's fine enough. Here's your receipt.
You're registered.

Thank you very much.

Next. Hello! Let's keep
the line moving, please.

But he's next.
So?

He doesn't know it.
Look at him.

He's asleep.

You're next in line.

Ow! Watch what you're doing!
What is the matter with you?

- He's a retard.
- Oh, and that's supposed to be my problem?

- He nearly broke my toe. - Hey, special
boy, why don't you get back on the bus?

Hey, don't talk like that.
Be nice.

Hi, little puppy!
Hello, puppy.

No, no, don't touch. He's not for petting.
He's for drug sniffing.

- He's on a break.
- Okay. Sorry.

Well, hello, ladies.
How are you doin'?

Oh, Mr. Taylor, hi!

I just have to tell you this is the
best computer class I have ever taken.

- Well, looks like you're doing just fine.
- It is such thanks to you.

Before I came to this class, I just
didn't even know the difference...

Between, like, a rom
or a ram or a bit or a byte.

So, um, I don't know if
you're interested or not,

but, um, do you give
private lessons?

Uh... well, no,
not really.

I'm gonna stay right here. Okay.

So how 'bout you, Carla? what?

How are you doing?

Well, I-i know the difference
between a bit and a byte.

Okay. Well, you keep up
the good work.

Thanks. I'll be back
if you need me.

He's kind of cute, huh?
Uh, yeah.

And how are you doing
over here, Mr. Garbis?

Hi.

Do you give private lessons?

Hi, pumpkin.
Oh.

I brought some of that
nice brewed tea you like.

Yeah. You just put it
right by the bed, dad.

I'll do that. And I'll leave you all
alone so you can do your homework.

Okay?
Okay.

Okay.
Good night.

Good night, pumpkin.

Come on. Here we go. Hold on one second.
Let me put it down.

You're really strong, Rachel.
Yeah, Danny, thanks.

Watch it.

I'll see you later, Rachel!

Hi!
Hi.

Hi. My name's
Daniel McMahon.

I know. I asked someone
what your name was.

My name is Carla Tate.

Hello, Carla Tate.

Thank you for helping me the other
day with that-- with registration.

It was really confusing.

Yeah, I know.

You're welcome.
Okay, bye.

Yeah, thank--

Where are you going
right now, Carla Tate?

I have to go phone my father
to come pick me up...

Because I got out
of school early today.

Oh, okay. Do you-- you wanna get a
soda and something to eat first?

I-- 'cause I know the greatest
place, and I can drive.

Well!

Is this a date?

No, it's just getting sodas
and something to eat.

Good. 'Cause I don't
want to date yet.

Look at the buses.
Watch 'em.

Why? What are they
gonna do?

They pull in, and then they
pull out, and they turn,

and they back up.

I went-- I went
to a regular school.

I went for a long,
long, long time. Hi!

I-I finally quit
when I grew a mustache,

'cause I looked older
than the teachers.

Stop it. I don't like
when people laugh at me.

No, I wasn't laughing at you.
I was just making a joke.

Oh.
This is the falcon bar.

And this is where
all the bus people come.

"Free tids and bits"? You
can eat till you burst.

Sometimes I mess up
on my allowance,

and then-- and then
I just come here.

A-a-and I can eat
all I want.

You see that girl over there?

Don't ever play pool with her,

'cause she'll beat you.

They call her the black widow.

She has really long hair.

I-I-i like short hair.

It's easy. You just get on,
you give them a ticket.

But what if you take
the wrong bus?

Uh, th-the driver
just throws you off.

See, okay, I been
on most of these buses,

and I been-- I been thrown
off most of them too.

You must like taking
bus rides, Daniel.

Uh, no. Well, no,
'cause I--

I gotta take the buses
to see--

To see marching bands at the
college football games.

Th-- this one takes me
to UCLA, Stanford,

and this one takes you--

Hi, Francis.
Hi, Danny.

This one takes me
to western pacific state.

Wow. You must really like
marching bands then.

Yeah. Yeah,
I love marching bands.

I-I even got a job
working with one.

Here. You can sit here
right there,

'cause this is where
I usually sit...

When I'm waiting for buses.
Okay.

I-I usually sit there,
but it's usually empty.

If it-- if it was empty,
I could sit next to you.

Thank you, sir.

Bus 45, express service
to Sacramento--

Wow. Daniel,
you have a job?

Yes.
Wow!

How much does it pay?

Nothing.
Nothing?

Well, uh, I get-- I get to
keep lots of marshmallows.

Your job pays you
in marshmallows?

Well-- okay.

Well, during the games, students
throw marshmallows onto the field,

and they try to get them
into the tubas.

You know, they think
it's fun and stuff.

And then-- and then on Mondays,
um, I get to clean out the tubas.

I love marshmallows.

I like the way they taste. What are
you-- what are you writing down?

Oh, I'm just writing
things down...

About different jobs...

Because someday I'm
gonna have a job, too,

and I need to be responsible...

So that my parents
get off my back.

4:30 bus to Las Vegas
now departing.

I have to go back because
my father is coming.

He'll come and pick me up.
Oh.

I shouldn't have
come with you, Daniel,

but you have
a really nice smile.

I-- I-i-i also got a job
that pays money.

Really? I bake cookies
at Emil's bakery.

I got a cookie maker's hat
and everything.

- It's very high.
- Commuter service to Sausalito--

Alone? You live all by
yourself alone, Danny?

Yeah, all by myself in my own apartment.
I could never do that.

Yes, you could.
I could?

Yeah, sure.
It's great.

You can come and go
whenever you want,

and you can stay up as late as
you want, and you can watch TV.

Really? You can walk
around in the apartment...

In your underwear, if you want.

But could I have a pet too?

Oh, definitely.
Definitely.

I have to call my father now.

I don't have to call my father.

They put gum in my hat again.

- Oh, that was so good.
- I have to make a wish.

Yes, all right. All right.

Happy 22nd, Carla.

Thank you for coming back
for my birthday.

Are you kidding? We wouldn't
miss this for the world.

Winnie tells me that Carla bought
groceries for the family this week,

and she did some
of the cooking too, right?

And she helped me do all my laundry
that I brought from school.

Yeah. And I recycled all the
garbage, mother. I know.

Well, someday you'll be able to
take care of this house without me.

Not this house.

Maybe one day I'll be able to
take care of my own apartment,

like some of the kids
at school do.

- Oh, Carla, you don't know what you're saying.
- Yes, I do.

No, we can't discuss this right now,
all right? Open these presents.

Here. There.
But--

Thank you, radley. Here you go, dear.
There.

"Carla." it's from--
Excuse me now.

I have to go feed my fish. Oh.

Mother, why did you do that?
What did I do?

Maybe she's ready
for her own apartment.

You know, a lot of the
new books out right now,

they advocate disabled people
living on their own.

Why don't we just take a vote?
Yeah, voting's nice.

- Oh, a family meeting.
- Yes!

We haven't had a family
meeting in ages.

I think we should just forget this,
because I just want to say something.

This is not a political referendum.
This is a child's life.

This is my child's life. Carla's
not ready for an apartment.

And really, she may never be
ready for an apartment. My god!

What if there were a fire?
What if there was a burglar?

That can happen to anyone, honey.
No, but not with Carla.

She can't handle the unexpected, radley.
You know that.

Mother, I think she has tried very hard
to show that she's a responsible person.

She's capable. Heather! You don't
live here anymore, so you don't vote.

Mom, why don't you think
of it this way, as a--

You and Jeffrey can raise your children
any way you want, but this is my child!

Ease up. I don't know
what you're trying to do.

I don't know what you're trying to prove
by refuting every single thing I say.

- I'm not!
- I didn't want to put her in that place!

But I had to.
I had no other choice.

She needed professional help.

Now it is Carla's turn,
and I am going to protect her!

And nobody's going to tell me how
to do it, not even you, radley. No!

Girls, inside, please.

I guess we'll be forever 10 and 12.
Marcia and Jan.

Don't you understand what I'm
trying to say? Shut the hell up.

It means a lot to me--
Do not--

Do not speak to me that way
in front of the children.

And we are both responsible for
putting Carla in that place.

You went along with it because
you were too drunk to face it.

I made that decision by myself!

I wasn't drinking when I picked her
up, and I haven't had a drink...

Since that family meeting 8
years, 4 months and 11 days ago!

That is not the--
That is not the same--

It is the same family, damn it!
Our family, Elizabeth!

Excuse me.
Oh.

Dinner will be served soon.

I'll skip dinner.

Permission to come aboard?
Permission granted.

I don't know what's the matter with me.
I just-- I-- anyway,

I never meant to insinuate
anything against you.

Maybe we should just...
Trust Carla.

But it's not just trusting Carla.
I really don't think so.

I think it's everybody, it's
everything out there. It's the--

Well, she can live near us. That
way we can keep an eye on her.

She just got back. Does she
have to leave so soon?

Not like you planned, huh?

No. Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.

Is anybody coming to dinner, or are
we voting on what's being served?

What?

What in--

Well--

Hot roll or baguette?

I think I will have a hot
roll-- oh, come on, please.

This is just absurd.

This is not a casual decision, and
Carla is not like other girls.

But I don't want to be the one who
always says no to her. I really don't.

So I'm gonna try and see it your way.
I'm gonna try and see--

I am so happy, mama!
This is so great.

You could help me pick an apartment out...
Not quite so hard-- okay.

And everything. All right, maybe we will.
Maybe I could do that.

I could call up Gibson realty. We could have
them, you know, get a couple of videos.

Dear, that is my-- this is the best
birthday present I've ever had.

I'm thrilled.
Is everybody happy?

Bye!

Bye, Daniel! Bye!
Bye!

Bye, Daniel!
Bye!

Bye, Carla!

Bye. I-I'll
see you tomorrow.

Good-bye.

So who's the fella?
Is he kind of a sweetheart?

No, that's my friend Daniel.

Um, but I like
to call him Danny.

Danny. Well,
Danny's kind of cute.

Stop teasing, dad!

Carla, this way. Uh, your father
mentioned that you met a young man.

Yeah, that's Daniel.

But I told dad that he was just a
"friend" friend, not a boyfriend.

Darling, don't sit there!
It's just wet.

No, it isn't, mom.
It's dry.

It's dry, mom.
Ugh.

Well, Carla, you're going to
be getting this apartment,

and I'm sure you're gonna want
to have visitors come over,

and I'm sure that some of these
visitors are going to be--

Well, they're going
to be young men.

Mom, is this a sex talk?

No.

Well... yes.
Is that okay?

Okay.
All right. Okay.

Well, then I know that
recently you mentioned, um,

doing it,

and I just wanted to know if you
really know what that means.

Yeah, that's what
Thomas Porter calls it.

And Mrs. Matthews, the health
teacher and cafeteria monitor,

she called it coitus.

And she also told us about penis...
Okay, we've got it.

And vulva. Shh. Carla.
Just a little less loud.

And then she was telling us all
about semen... Carla, honey.

And how there's 50 billion
sperms in one shot, and that--

No, no, no. We do have
the-- we have the--

Yeah, yeah. All right. That's very good.
I know all about it.

You know all about it. You know all
about reproduction. That's excellent.

Yeah, and she also told me...

That people like us,

they-- boys can try
to take advantage...

And that they'll try
to coitus us.

So if that should ever
happen, to say, "no!

Oh. Okay.
Stop right there!"

Good. That's excellent advice.
What else did she say to you?

"Don't put gum under
the cafeteria table!

How many times
do I have to tell you?"

She's teaching you
a lot of variety there.

Anyway, with this apartment, I just
don't think that you should have, um,

any boyfriends over
for a while, all right?

Is that okay with you?
But, mom,

what if I want to go visit...

At someone else's apartment?

Well, in that case,
you remember "no, stop,"

and you don't forget
your pepper spray.

Whose apartment might you be
visiting, Carla? Nobody's.

I was just saying what if.
I'm gonna go feed the birds.

Oh, jeez.

No, Carla, wait!
Get away from the water.

Hello, duckies.

- Come here, duckies.
- Carla!

Uh, excuse me, sir.

Does this bus go
to la pine street?

Nah, this is the eastbound. You
want the westbound over there.

But I took four buses already.

I don't know what to tell you. That
bus will take you there. Okay.

Thank you very much.

Daniel!

Hey!
Hi.

You found it!

And-- and these
are my CDs.

Would you have any blues? My friend and
I at my school, we love the blues.

I like, like muddy waters
and Billie Holiday.

She's dead, you know.
Yeah.

Yeah. I like that one song
where she sings:

No, but I-i have
marching bands.

I-i-i have marching bands
from all over the world.

From Scotland and from Russia.

But do you have
the one song that goes:

no blues!

I-- okay, I'll play you
my favorite one now, okay?

Watch. Watch this.
Watch this.

You're gonna wake-- you're gonna wake Mrs.
Waters' baby.

I've told you time and time again,
don't play the music so loud.

Okay, okay. S-sometimes
I forget, Ernie.

- Who are you?
- This is Ernie. He's a painter.

And he's a musician.

I'm art, painting, music
and volume control manager.

Yeah. I'm sorry. I didn't know
you were entertaining a lady.

No, Ernie, this is Carla.
She's my friend.

My name is Carla Tate.

Thanks for calling me a lady.

Mrs. Tate, I want you to bear in mind that all
the apartments I'm going to be showing you--

Winnie, where's Carla? She should be here.
She should see this.

She phoned to say she's going to be a
little late. She's studying with friends.

Remember, this is
tape number two.

It's a little small. The kitchen.
This is out of the question.

No, I don't like it. No, next, okay?
I agree.

Oh, Ernie,
my dad sent a check...

Oh, yeah, yeah.
For my allowance.

Hold on. Here.
That's right. I forgot.

I got two leaky sinks here. Paid
your bills. Here's your allowance.

Don't spend it all
on the first date.

Yeah, my-- my dad
sells Mercedes. Yeah.

All right.
Okay. Bye! Okay.

Bye now.

Ernie has killed people.

What?

He was in Vietnam.

He doesn't like to talk about it,
but he talks to me about it.

He lives down in the
basement all alone.

What I really like is the kitchen.
Isn't that beautiful?

It's sweet. A lot of the owners don't
like to rent to people like Carla.

Knowing that-- I'm sorry.
Would you wait one second?

I mean, not don't like to-- I'm sorry, but
there are no people like Carla, okay?

She happens to be a very
unique young woman. Okay.

Okay. Of course she is,
but they just wanna know...

If the unique young woman
is gonna leave the gas on...

Or if she's gonna leave
the door unlocked.

This is them asking, not me.
Is she reliable?

Of course she's reliable. This
is her first apartment, though.

I can't vouch for the fact that the window
might not be left open during a rainstorm,

but what mother
can vouch for that?

I understand what their concerns are, but
let me tell you something right now.

My daughter happens to be
a very amazing person.

She's tough, and she is
adamant to be on her own.

She's gonna be just fine.

Now, if there's any sort of a
problem, I am only 15 minutes away.

You think that's gonna be enough for them?
It's enough for me.

All right. Thank you.
Let's watch it.

No! She can't marry
that guy, Daniel.

I want her to marry
Dustin Hoffman.

Yeah. Okay. Okay,
wait just a second.

Elaine!

Elaine!
Whoa-oh!

Yeah!

Yeah. Do they live happily
ever after, Daniel?

Well, I don't know. They
didn't make a graduate 2.

Oh, wow!
Yeah.

That was a great movie, Daniel.
I'm so happy you let me watch it.

I would have never seen it had
you not asked me to see it.

Carla, d-do you want
to be my friend?

I am your friend. No, no, no.
I-- no, I don't--

I like that one part where he's
trying to get away from his parents.

I don't mean "friend" friend.
I mean boy-girlfriend.

Are you getting
the pepper spray?

No.

I'm thinking.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

One bedroom, one bathroom,
hardwood floors,

eat-in kitchen,
working fireplace.

That is good. I knew it.
I knew it.

This--
I love those Georg--

That's a Georgian window, Mrs. Tate. That's
a classic. This is a San Francisco classic.

Hi, Daniel.

Hi!

Mr. Vitello, she's my friend.
She's my friend.

- Wh-what are you doing here?
- I came to tell you the best news.

Wh-wh-- what's that?
What's that?

I got my own apartment,
my very own apartment.

Nobody lives there but me, and
I move there in two weeks!

Hurray!
Hurray!

Sorry, Mr. Vitello.
Sorry.

See, not a marshmallow
in the bunch.

Okay, okay,
see that guy right there?

That's my friend,
and he's a bandmaster.

And see that guy right there
with the big Baton?

That guy's name
is Wally Williams,

and-and he's a drum major, and
they-- they call him walking Wally.

Why?
I don't know.

All right, perfect.
Once again from the top.

- Hi, everybody!
- Hey, Danny.

Hi. Hey, Danny. Uh,
how's it going?

Good. I wasn't expecting
to see you till Monday.

Uh-- yeah, just 'cause-- just 'cause
I wanted to bring Carla in...

So that she could see
where I work.

- Hi, Carla.
- She-- she's my girlfriend.

No, I-- they're not
laughing at you.

You just missed marching band rehearsal, and
right now we're working with the dixieland band.

But you know what?
I was just talking to Wally.

And we decided it would be great to
hear the band from the audience.

Wow, Carla.
A new boyfriend.

And now a dance? yeah. The
dance is this Friday.

Mm, that's exciting. Well, I
was just calling, Heather,

because I wanted to tell
you the good news...

And I want to look special,
with nice makeup on,

and I don't think
I could do it myself.

Just go to the mall. They have
lots of make-over places there.

You know, they'll just do it for
you or show you how. Really?

Free make-over demonstration over here.
We can do wonders for you, I promise.

Miss, we're having a free make-over
demonstration. No, thank you.

Free make-overs.
Oh, it's free?

Wow. But over there,
it's 35.

But it's free over there.
Thank you.

And smile. Perfect!
Beautiful.

Now, this is the new you.

The old you.

Good.

Not so good.

Okay. Anyone else for a free
make-over demonstration?

But when are you gonna do
the rest of my face?

This is a demonstration, and this
demonstration was absolutely free.

Oh, but how much is it to buy
the other half of my face?

About $50.

But I don't have $50.
Tsk. Oh.

Then I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take the next
customer, so if you could just move aside.

But you didn't say anything
about $50 before.

Come on. Everybody knows
the whole thing isn't free.

But that's not fair.
Life isn't fair.

Okay, if you'll just step aside.
Thank you so much for coming in.

That's not fair.
Bye-bye now.

Next.

There's just too many people out
there who'll take advantage of you.

I don't think you should go
to the dance.

Mother!
What?

I have to go to the dance.
You said I could.

I know. I know.
Okay. Okay.

Can you do a whole new makeup?

No, I won't do that, Carla.
You have such a lovely face.

You don't need
all that makeup. No.

Well... how about if you
taught me how to dance? What?

I can't do that with my arms.

Yes, you can. Look.
It's very simple.

Thomas Porter, at my school,

he used to go like this.
Oh, no, no, Carla.

And then the teacher would--
No, no, Carla. Carla.

Just don't move your hips like that.
Don't do this.

Don't do that. Just keep it
calm down there. That's right.

Give me your hand.

Then the dip thing!

You're funny, mom.

Oh, my baby!

I love you.
You're silly.

- You're silly.
- Oh, dear.

Oh, dear. What's the
matter with me? Wow!

What is the matter-- I might
be having a breakdown.

But, mom, I have to learn
my slow dances too.

No, but slow dances, dear,
they're--

They're a bit of a problem because
you don't want to get too close.

You really don't. You want
to keep time to the music.

Stand up and I'll show
you how you do it. Yeah.

You just sort of--

Yeah. All the movies I've
seen, mom, they all--

It's slow like this. No,
I don't think so, Carla.

When they start to play a slow song,
I think what might be best is,

you and your partner should
immediately go get yourselves a soda.

That might be nice.

Happy Halloween, dad!

Look what Winnie made me.

My pumpkin's a duck.
No!

- I'm a swan.
- Oh, yeah, a swan, of course.

I feel so delicate.

Oh, honey, well, you have
always been delicate to me.

You are always beautiful.

What is it?
What-- oh!

Oh, look at you!

It's swan lake.
Yeah.

Oh, you're beautiful. Now, Carla,
let me just take that off...

'Cause I don't think that's gonna
fit in the back seat of the car.

And, radley, you better get going,
otherwise you're gonna be late.

Oh, wait!
Oh, wait just one minute.

My boyfriend is coming,

and he's gonna go with us.
Boyfriend?

Don't make that face, mom.
He's very nice.

He has two jobs, mom. What kind
of jobs does he have, Carla?

He work-- one, he works
at the bakery, bakery?

And then the other one
is, he's a music--

Works in the music department
at the university.

That's nice.

Ooh! That's him! Radley, come
here for just one moment.

Do you believe this?
What?

This guy has the nerve to
come to our very own home.

I mean, what does he want
with her, anyway? Honey, uh--

She's a very attractive girl.
She's very pretty.

And he did-- he wants to have his
way with her, that's what he wants.

Hi, Daniel.
Hi.

You look really pretty.
Thank you.

This is my idea of a nightmare.

Mom, I want you to meet Daniel,

and, Daniel, this is--

This is my mother and my father.

- Hello.
- Oh!

What is--
Uh, what--

Give me your paw, Danny. Hello.

I didn't mean to-- do you have a head?
You know.

Sorry. I didn't--

Oh, he's the boy at school.

Yes. Well, I'm gonna
find my car keys.

Don't worry...

'Cause I've been
house-trained.

That's a joke, mom.

You're gonna have
a wonderful time tonight.

Okay.
Sure. Okay.

That's an excellent costume you picked out
there. Don't want to miss that party.

What's that right there?
Trick or treat.

My dad gives these
instead of candy.

Oh. Up and down
and not across.

Thank you.
Bye, Carla.

- Bye, mom.
- Bye!

Well--
Well--

We're not responsible for lost
items, so please make sure...

You pick up your wings
and your antlers.

Also, for those interested,
the first-quarter grades...

Are posted downstairs
on the bulletin board.

- Who's next?
- I want to see if I passed.

Come on, Daniel.
Um, o-okay.

She said it was downstairs.

I passed it!
I passed it, Daniel!

I passed my subject
in a regular school,

with real tests
and regular teachers!

I did it, Daniel!

I love polytechnic school!

I love my teachers! I
love everybody, Daniel!

But-but, Daniel, you
didn't fail by much.

Just a smidge.
But I--

I didn't--

I didn't want to fail by a smidge.
I wanted--

I-I-i wanted to--

I wanted to get out of one class
just 'cause I passed,

not 'cause I was--
Not 'cause I was too old.

It's OK-- it's OK--
It's okay, Daniel.

Don't--
Don't be upset.

No. No, it isn't okay.

It isn't--

Everybody's right.
Everybody's right, Carla.

Every-- I am--
I'm dumb.

Everybody's right, Carla.

Everybody's--

C-c-Carla, can you-- could
you go away for a second?

Please?

Okay. Okay.

At my special school they
taught us that first...

You learn the easy courses.

Then, after you learn those,
you try the harder courses,

only they're not
so hard anymore...

Because you learn
the easy stuff first.

See?

A-another reason
I got mad is 'cause...

I didn't want you
to think I was dumb.

I could never think that.

Okay, you're disappointed.

Disappointed in what?
Uh, me, you, us? What?

Oh, no, dear, not us. I mean, of
course, it has been bumpy at times,

but, but I always thought
we'd end up like this.

You know, somehow sailing along together.
Well, good, good.

You're not disappointed in us,
'cause I love sailing with you.

The girls, they never really
liked sailing much. Yeah.

You disappointed with the girls?
Well, I feel like...

I'm the mother of a dedicated
underachiever, a gay workaholic, and Carla,

who thinks she can conquer this whole
terrifying world that we live in.

Honey, you're doing fine.

They're not drug addicts. They're not
axe murderers. They're not democrats.

I don't know.
Tell me--

I don't know why I am talking like
this anyway, but honestly, radley,

sometimes I think
that there must be...

Some mothers out there
in the world...

Who are better equipped to handle Carla.
Elizabeth,

stop it, will ya?

I mean, I know that I fail
in some horrible way.

Do you know? I-I'll shut up. I promise.
Radley, I'm gonna shut my mouth.

Honey, you're just trying to be
honest with yourself. It's okay.

It's not fair, radley.
It's not fair.

First you're judged as a person,
and then you become a parent,

and not only are you judged
as a person,

but you're also judged by how
well your children are doing.

I mean, not who they are,
not what they think,

but just how well they're doing.

Elizabeth.
What?

They're doing just fine.
We are doing just fine.

- What is this?
- Fire.

And what is the blue?
That is the police.

And finally the green.
The hospital.

That is excellent.
Elizabeth, how many--

How many of these
extinguishers did you buy?

Not enough, obviously. Hold on. Just a
second. I-i know what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna put it in the kitchen.
What are you doing now?

This is-- all right.

Dad, she put one in my bathroom.

Well, good luck,

person in her first apartment.

My first apartment.

Yes. Now, if you
feel lonely,

or if you need anything,
call dear old dad.

- I will.
- All right.

Well--
Say good-bye.

Thank you, mom.

Elizabeth--
Don't worry!

I think I got a little bit of
lipstick on you. I'll be okay.

All right. Of course. We have to go.
Good. Let's go then.

Oh, one moment. Oh! Forgot.
This is for you, dear.

This is for you to remember every time you
leave the house. It's a list that I--

I showed it to her earlier.
It's written down and I see it.

Good. Good-bye.
Okay. Bye!

Bye. Do you smell gas?
Drive safe.

Bye.
Bye! And don't worry!

Hello.
This is my apartment.

Would you like to sit down?

Listen up, everybody. The falcon bar
presents body shots at table number four.

Body! Body!

- Body! Body! Body!
- My turn!

Body! Body! Body!
Body! Body!

The regular-- regular couples
don't do that, Daniel.

They're from college.
Yeah. Yeah.

Daniel, I want us to be friends
for a really long time.

Oh, well, I don't think so.

Why not?

Well, just 'cause I may
have to move to Florida.

Why?

To live with my mom.

You have to leave?

Well, 'cause my-- 'cause my dad
won't pay my rent anymore...

'Cause I failed my classes.

So, uh, after the new years,
I have to go...

Because-- 'cause I only make
$350 a month,

and my rent is $500 a month.

Mrs. Robinson,
you're trying to seduce me.

Aren't you?

Well, no, I haven't thought of
it, but I feel very flattered.

Mrs. Robinson, will you forgive
me for what I just said?

It's all right. It's not all right.
It's the worst thing--

What's the--
What's the matter?

Strange things are
happening to my body.

Me too.

I kind of feel like...

We should be doing
something more than kissing.

- Me too.
- What did they do after they kissed?

They do it,

and then he smiles,

and then she-- a-a-a-and then
she-- she smokes a cigarette.

Mmm. But I don't
like smoking.

Oh, well, me neither,

but I guess
I just like to smile.

But-- yeah, I know,
doing it.

Sure.
Yeah.

Did you ever?

Oh, yeah, I did it.

Well, sort of, I did it.

But you sort of what? Well, just
'cause there was some older guys,

and then they all chipped in.

And they paid this girl--
And she had a reputation--

To kiss me and then--
And then,

you know, and do
some other stuff. Yeah.

And then--
And then--

And then what?

Well, there was
a lot of kissing,

and there was a lot
of, uh, hugging,

and there was, uh,
there was a lot of rubbing.

And then--
See, 'cause the thing was--

'cause I finished
before I was supposed to, see?

'Cause, see-- you know. You have
to be a guy to understand that.

'Cause, see, 'cause guys
and girls are different.

Guys have a thing. Daniel,
did you love her?

I su-- well, I sure
thought I did.

But not like I love you.

'Cause I-i-i--

I love you every minute.

I love you
more than band music...

And cookie-making.

It's a stupid thing
to say, I know. I--

No.

That's the first time...

Anybody's ever said that
to me before.

I love you too, Daniel McMahon.

I don't want you to leave.

Me neither.

The reason I'm always
saying no to you...

Is because
of what you ask for, Carla.

But Daniel never asked
for the money.

He would just come
and move in with me.

That's the same as asking for money.
But it's my idea.

And see, his rent is $500,

and he can't afford it, mom.
Carla--

Carla, he cannot
move in with you.

But it's my place.
No, it is not your place.

It is the person who pays
for the rent.

That is the boss
of the apartment.

But dad pays the bills
here, and you're the boss.

That's different.

Radley, please. Please. Dad, tell
mom that it's not very different.

Honey, your mama's right
on this one.

Oh, really?

Mom is right.

Pumpkin-- I'm telling you, that
boy sees her as a rich girl.

Well, she is a rich girl,

but I don't think he's after her money.
But seriously,

aren't you concerned? Carla is
young, she's full of love--

This is the first love she's ever had.
She's feeling that for the first time.

This is just
a harmless flirtation.

A crush, that's all it is.

So we can do--

Or we could try,

um, page 39.

I marked that.

And page 84 is okay.

But I don't want to do page 155.

I-- if I remember correctly,

there's a--
There's a page 146,

and it-it--

It looks pretty good.

How much do you weigh?

Um, well, you see,
I-i-i--

See, 'cause I weigh 145
and 4 ounces.

Four ounces?
Yeah.

Well, that sounds okay.
Yeah. See, yeah.

So do you want to do it now?

'Cause I, I got the, uh--

I got protection...

At the family planning
place, and it--

See, 'cause I even got ones
that glow in the dark.

And-and-and, see, 'cause, 'cause
they made me practice on a banana.

Do you want me to show you
how to do it?

No.
Okay.

So, are you ready?

'Cause--
'cause I'm ready.

Ready?

Are you ready?

Come on. 'Cause-- 'cause we
can do it in the bedroom...

If you want.
No, I'm not ready.

I--

Daniel, I don't want
to do it right now.

I was thinking that we could
wait till the next holiday...

Because holidays are special, and
Thanksgiving is coming up soon--

Oh, 'cause I feel special
right now, Carla.

But Thanksgiving--
There's a Turkey,

and there's more than
two desserts-- yeah.

It's sort of like a magic.

Oh. I don't-- I don't
want to do it now.

Uhh--
Well, let's get your bike.

So-so I'll just save these
for Thanksgiving, right?

Yeah, Thanksgiving.
Yeah. Okay.

Very careful.
Good girl.

Wow. That's right.
That looks good.

Looks good. Put it down over here,
'cause this is nice cold marble.

Good. That's good. All right,
now curl your fingers.

Don't get your fingers in.

And we thank you that we
are all here together again...

For the first time
in many years,

making this a Thanksgiving
for each of us to remember.

Amen.

Potatoes.

So, Caroline, please tell me
how, with your horrible temper,

you think you're gonna be able
to manage teaching second grade.

I don't have a horrible temper!
I love children.

I just get mad at adults. And
her sister occasionally.

Yeah.

Carla, do you know what I did?

Are we almost done?

Carla, why are you
in such a hurry?

I don't want
to get home too late.

Yes, mom, I took
all the right buses.

Will you thank Winnie for
making me the food bundle?

Okay, good night, mom.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Fumble and a recover
on the 13th yard line!

This is so good.

'C-c-cause last year--
Last year, uh--

I ate tids and bits, and it just doesn't
have that Thanksgiving feeling.

Yeah. Well, Winnie
made everything...

Except the sweet potatoes.

I made that and put all the
little marshmallows on top.

Oh, 'c-c-cause that
was my favorite part.

Oh, no, it wasn't.
Yeah, it was.

Well, I'm stuffed.

Well, it's Thanksgiving.
Remember the m-m--

Remember what we said we were
gonna do on Thanksgiving? Yeah.

Yeah.

I wonder who thought up sex
in the first place, Daniel.

I-I-i think it was Madonna,
actually.

But, Daniel,

I'm kind of scared.

Well, you-- you don't have to be
scared, Carla, 'cause you know why?

'Cause I would--
'cause I would never hurt you.

'Cause you're the last person in
the world that I would ever hurt.

Okay.

Carla?
Just a second.

That's nice underwear.

Yeah. I got it
from my sister's closet.

I've never been naked
in front of anyone before.

Just you.

Should we have
some music, Daniel?

I-i-it's okay. I'll get some music.
Okay.

I know why you're smiling. Why?

When someone smiles like
that, they're in love.

Really?

Hmm. Oh, Carla,
there you are.

You know, I've got some new
art books for you to look at,

and I want you to select a few paintings
that we could discuss later, all right?

Yeah.
All right.

Well, I like "the
lace maker." Mm-hmm.

And this one right here.

That's the famous
"girl with the red hat."

That's such a pretty painting.

She's-- I think we should
look at our sister Wendy...

Because she's going to be
in Florence this week.

- I'm very excited.
- I'm going on a grand tour,

in search of some of the finest
art treasures in the world.

What are you--
You know something?

What? You look
different to me, dear.

What's going on, huh?
Strange.

...And sometimes
played at funerals.

Hello?

Oh, hi, dad.

Yeah, uh, wait--

Uh, well, I was--
I was wondering...

I-I-if you could change your mind
a-a-about not giving me the money...

Just 'cause-- just 'cause
I-i met this girl and then--

Oh, yeah.

Well, dad, that's, uh--

What about just giving me enough money
just until I find a better job that pay--

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, 'cause-- yeah, 'cause it's
just that sometimes I forget.

Yeah.

Um, yeah, I-i miss you too.

Um, uh, how are you, da--

Okay. Bye.

Oh, I know what you guys
are gonna do tonight.

Daniel McMahon's bike rack.

Hey! Take that bike
off my porch!

Ernie! Ernie!

Thank you, San Francisco!

Thank you, Elvis McMahon!

Ernie!
The Spanish mustang!

Hey, that smells
like a good year, pal.

Well, I was--

I love Carla, Ernie.
Carla loves me.

And that's a fact, okay?

Most people at the school
make fun of me,

a-a-and they-- and they
never talk to me, Ernie.

They never, ever talk to me.

And she-- 'cause she-- she's the only
one that makes me feel like a person.

Oh, come on, now.

To Carla!

Now-- now, come on, now.

All right, here. What's that?
What's that?

Gotcha.

Oh, Ernie!
See how I did that?

I love to drink, Ernie.
Oh, yeah?

Yeah. It makes me
feel good.

Yeah. Is that--
Is that why people drink?

People drink
for lots of reasons.

Some to be happy. Some to forget.
Some to be brave.

I think I want-- I think
I want to be brave, Ernie.

No, only cowards get brave that way.
Forget drinking!

Forget all that stuff. You got
to find what makes you happy.

Danny, what makes you happy?
Uh--

- What makes you happy?
- I want to take a ride in your mustang.

That's-that's-- that would
make me really happy, Ernie.

You never did that. Th-th-that
would make me very happy.

No, I can't take that car out
in winter weather.

It'll ruin her paint job.
Some other time.

Anything else would make you happy?
Come on.

Yeah.

Help me find a job so I can
be with Carla forever.

I'm sorry your father
won't change his mind.

He-he-he said he'd
paid for me long enough,

and he said
it's my mother's turn.

I'm very angry right now, Ernie.

Oh, I can understand anger.
I know about that.

No, no. No, no. No, easy, now.
There-- come on, now, easy.

Watch my guitar.
Now, easy.

You know what I do sometimes
when I get angry?

Know what I do? I call a buddy.
I call a pal, hmm?

See? And, uh, something like this.
"How are you?" hey?

That's it.
Good.

That's good.
Yeah.

Yeah. That's it. See? Yeah.

Patting.
Patting is good.

Patting. That's it.

Heather!

All right, guys. What do we think
about this for the country club?

Mm! Mm-hmm. That is so chic.

Very.
Where'd you get that?

At Michelle's Soho
boutique, actually.

Where's Carla? We're gonna
be late, aren't we?

You know what? You always do that, mother.
You know who she is.

She's the one that you refer
to as my "special friend."

all right, tension alert.

You know what, honey? Why don't you go start
the car, and I'm gonna go find Carla,

and you--

Wait, mother, you've
never even met Michelle.

Come on. I cannot believe it.
You're still doing the look.

Oh, come on-- dad, she's
still doing the look!

You know what?
I just--

We've had this conversation several times.
I don't want to have it anymore.

I just hope you outgrow it, that's all.
And I'd hoped you'd accept it.

Mother, being gay
is not a diagnosis.

It's not a disease
I'm going to recover from...

Or a phase I'm going to outgrow.

I know what being gay is, okay?
I give to gay causes.

I support gay parades. They
even gave me a plaque.

Yes! So why support
them and not me?

'Cause I'm not their mother.
Yes, I know this. You're mine.

So why can't you just say it?
"I have a gay daughter."

I have a gay daughter. It's not like
I'm asking you to go on Oprah, mother.

Just say it to me.
Oh, look at this.

Look at this evolution
coming down the stairs.

Isn't that beautiful?

Caroline and Heather
did my makeup.

Both sides. Oh, yeah.
Look at that.

Well, honey, let's-- the
limousine is waiting for you.

Let's go out there, Princess.

Carla, your gentleman
caller just arrived.

He's on the porch.
Ooh, your prince charming.

Let's go find prince charming.
It's Daniel!

I'll put his bike away.

This earring
is driving me crazy.

I can't take it. I'm not-- I'm
never going to wear it again.

Hi. wow! You look
really handsome.

You look
r-really pretty.

Oh! Did you talk
to your dad yet?

Uh, well, 'cause--

'cause I don't need
my dad anymore,

'cause I-- 'cause I
have an idea for us.

I knew you'd
come up with something.

Yeah. Okay. We're coming, dad!

Hi. You know my mother, pucky.

- Of course I know pucky.
- How are the plans going for Caroline's wedding?

- We're excited.
- What about you, Heather?

Any young chaps on the horizon for you yet?
You know what? No.

You know, the literary world
is just a lot...

Of reclusive writers and,
you know, serial killers.

Caroline! Where's the
wedding going to be?

It's going to be at St. John's church.
Right here in Sutter hills?

Uh, in New Zealand.

It's not in New Zealand, Jeff.

It's in Sutter hills.

Carla?

I-I-I'm kind of afraid
of your family.

I feel that way too sometimes, Daniel.
You do?

Yeah, but all you have
to do is be brave,

and then you could say
anything you want...

'Cause you feel
more comfortable.

Ex-ex-excuse me.
I'll be right back.

Here you are, sir.
Very nice bottle.

Yes, sir, you picked a
very nice bottle. Green.

So-so-so that will
make me very brave?

Sir, it's 110 proof.
It'll make you very brave.

Thank you. Thank you,
and merry Christmas.

Yes, it is.

Now, listen. Elizabeth Russell.
Mm.

That's that young dental hygienist who
married the Tate boy. You know, Ridley.

Radley. I should have married him.
Radley.

His father, Orson,
built this club.

Oh, Carla, did you receive that
Dustin Hoffman book I sent you?

Yeah. I'm gonna give it
to Daniel for Christmas.

Don't tell Ernie.

I don't know any Ernie. Good.

Merry Christmas.
It still is.

Where is-- where is Daniel?
He's missing everything.

Ladies and gentlemen, everybody,
may I have your attention, please?

Olive juice.
Some months ago--

What are you saying?
Olive juice.

Why? Because from far away
it looks like "I love you."

That's a very good trick.

Now, if I said
it was love at first sight,

that would be disingenuous.

Disen--
"untruthful."

- Oh.
- She had just come back from a softball game...

And had the worst case
of hat hair I've ever seen.

Oh, my god!

It looked terminal.
"Hat hair."

But cupid's arrows overcame...

Her dishevelled coif, and I
did fall in love with her--

Very much in love,
and next month...

She's going to make me
the happiest man alive...

By becoming my wife.

And now, I would like to
dance to our favorite song,

"baby, I'm yours."

My favorite song
is "Michelle, my belle."

What?
What did you say?

Nothing.

Hi.

Uh, I just--

C-c-Caroline and Jeff,

would you mind, j-j-j-just
sit down for just--

Olive juice.

Could you sit down as well?

Let's hear what he has to say.
Maybe he has a surprise.

My name is Daniel McMahon,

and I'm in love with a girl too.

A-a-and she does not
have hat hair.

You know, th--

- That was a joke, mom.
- He's a stand-up comic.

H-h-her name is Carla Tate,

and she loves--
Sh-sh-she loves me too.

And I have never
had that before.

And my--

My dad is g-- is gonna
send me to Florida.

And I want her to-- I want
her to come along with me.

Oh! Wow! That is out
of the question.

He's just kidding. That is out-- excuse me.
Look what I've done.

He's full of surprises, mom.

And we love
each other so much...

That last Thanksgiving,

we did it.

And it was--
It was so beautiful.

That's not--
But it--

Daddy, please
go up there and--

I'd like to sing a song for her.

That's not what--

And here's our song.

No, that was not what it is!

Stop laughing!
Stop laughing at me!

Stop laughing at me!
You stop laughing at me!

It's not funny, Daniel!

Baby. Baby, baby--

Stop laughing at me!

Kindly step this way, sir.

Step this way, sir, please.
Everybody dance, please.

Play something.

All right, Jeff. Get the girls home.
We'll call you later.

I hate what he did!
Calm down. I know, dear.

Now just get in this car and sit down.
Sit down and relax.

I don't know where Charles is.
Is she okay?

Where is he? I think he's
probably in the restroom.

Gary, did you see
our limousine driver?

Okay, okay. I'll be right here.
Just sit right there.

Oh, for god's sake!
Where is that man?

Is she all right?
Yes. She's fine.

Carla?

Carla?

Why did you do that, Daniel?

I-I'm sorry. Why did you tell
everybody our love secrets?

I'm sorry, Carla.
No!

You made everyone laugh at me!

I'm sorry, Carla. I nev-- I don't
think everybody laughed at you.

I don't care if
you're sorry, Daniel!

God!

You're stupid!

What you did was stupid!

And I don't want
to ever see you again!

So? I don't care!
I never-- I don't care!

I don't want to see you either!

Shut up! Leave me alone! I
think you're stupid too!

- I think you're stupid!
- Carla!

Mom! Make him leave me alone!
I'm here.

Charles, get her in the car.

I'm stupid! I'm stupid! Gary,
make sure he gets home safely.

Get him a cab.
Get him home.

Carla's stupid!

Go home, Danny.

We'll be out of here
in a minute, Dr. Tate.

Why did he do it?

Danny had too much to drink...

And he didn't know
what he was saying, pumpkin.

He didn't mean to embarrass you.

Everything is going to be fine.

It's all going to work out
in the end.

Oh, he's fine.
He's a friend of the band.

Oh, yeah. That's the kid
who's leaving.

All right, let's start
the rehearsal.

The groomsmen over here, and
we'll have the bridesmaids...

Come up and--

Excuse me, but are they
going to continue...

To act like clowns? Well,
they're just having fun.

- They're good guys.
- Oh!

I'm so sorry. I am so sorry,
but you know cousin Anne--

She was not exactly thrilled
with her hotel accommodations.

Not that she has any idea what a
hotel accommo-- oh. Hey, sweetie.

I'm sorry. Who is-- are you a groomsman?
No. This is my assistant,

Mark. Okay. Cousin
Anne's very happy.

- Let's move on.
- Excellent.

All right, everybody. We're gonna
start with-- excuse me. Excuse me.

Would you mind if I had
just a few minutes alone...

With my family, please?
Fine.

Thank you. Okay, listen. I'd just
like to say that the only reason...

I'm even here is because
it's Caroline's dream...

To have all of her sisters
at her wedding.

But this might be the very last
time I attend a family function...

Without Michelle. Duly noted.
Let's rehearse, okay?

Come on, let's go. Let's rehearse.
Yeah.

And if Daniel is not here, I
have no one to dance with, mom.

You have someone you can dance
with, honey, right there.

You can dance
with your cousin Theodore.

- I'm sure he would love to dance with you.
- You know, hello, guys.

This-- it's like, Danny, Michelle--
Would you give me a break here?

It's the middle child's wedding.
You know what I'm saying?

The middle child's wedding.
I am the middle child!

My wedding!
Calm down.

All you do is talk about somebody
that I don't even-- we know that.

My wedding.
Comes once in a lifetime.

Listen to me for one minute.
Come here. Come here.

This is ridiculous. Be quiet!
Listen to me. Please.

Everybody, please.
Shh!

This is a Tate family wedding. I'm
very proud of that, and, Caroline,

I'm very proud of you, but we have
hundreds of guests and family...

Who are attending, so I think
it would behoove us...

To suppress the minutiae
long enough to show everybody...

How proud we are
to be Tate family.

- Now, let's rehearse.
- Well said. Well said.

But my favorite actor's Dustin Hoffman. Did
you ever see that movie, the graduate?

Is that the one where he's in a dress,
or is that the one with the camels?

Deming. This station is Deming.
Next stop is El Paso.

And then she goes off to get married
to somebody else, and see-- and see,

Dustin knows
that she still loves him.

A-a-and--

And then he gets
all confused and mixed up,

and then-- and then he goes
and he tries to rescue her.

All aboard!

All aboard!

Nice talking to you.

Uh-- I-i-i
was going to Florida,

and I changed my mind, and I want
to go back to San Francisco.

You want to exchange
your ticket?

Yes! Yes, I want--
Um, okay. Okay.

Do flipper!

Do more, Heather.

I'm not doing any more. Can we just
play, like, another game or something?

Yeah, but I don't want
to play...

Pin the penis on the
naked guy again.

Yeah, I'll second that. Come on, you guys!
This is fun.

We gotta have fun. This
is my last night single.

You go, Carla.
Okay. Now it's my turn.

I wish I could see Daniel again.

Oh, Carla, don't be sad!

You gotta be happy. This is
my sisters happy night thing.

No. But I wish I could see him
again just for a little second...

To tell him
that I don't hate him.

Hi. You look like you need a ride.
Come on. Dad says it's okay.

O-okay.
Hi. I'm Jenny.

You want a pretzel or a marshmallow?
Yeah, thank you.

I'm really hungry.

Who presents this woman
to be married?

We do.

Please be seated.

- Thanks, Fred!
- Thanks for the ride.

Excuse me. The soup kitchen
is around in the parish hall.

But it won't be open until 5:00.
But I-i don't want any soup.

I came to see a girl in the wedding.
I don't think so.

- But Carla--
- I said I don't think so.

Okay.

I give you this ring
as a symbol of my vow.

I give you this ring
as a symbol of my vow.

And with all that I am
and all that I have,

and with all that I am
and all that I have,

I honor you in the name of god.

I honor you in the name of god.

The union of husband
and... wife in hearts,

body and mind--

- Ginger.
- What?

Did you just throw
something at my head? No.

And for the health
and-and comfort...

Gi-- given one another--

Radley, what is going on?
Someone's throwing--

- and for the gift
inherited from our children.

- Is this your idea of a joke?
- They are laughing right now at the wedding.

- Please, this is not funny. - But to
reverently and deliberately in accordance...

With the purposes for which
it was instituted by god.

Danny?

Daniel.

- Carla Tate.
- Daniel!

- What?
- Oh, my god, it's Daniel.

Meet you out front in the lobby.

Mark, the homeless boy
is up in the organ balcony.

I'm gonna go back down.

What are they up to?

Okay.

- Don't make trouble.
- Whoa!

- No. Is he all right?
- Are you okay?

I think--
He seems to be okay.

I don't want to be apart
ever again, Daniel.

Yeah, never again.
I love you.

Carla, Carla.

I wa-wa-want to
get married.

I want-- want to spend the
rest of my life with you.

You know, I thought our worst
problem was gonna be parking.

Carla Tate, will you marry me?

Did he say marry her?

Just call up-- Winnie,
not right now!

Yes, I will, Daniel McMahon.

Daniel, stand right here.

Okay.
And a little bit quiet.

Just be quiet. This is good.
It's like where's Waldo?

E-excuse me, um-- mother, could
you say something, please?

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm--
I'm so terribly sorry...

For this slight inconvenience, but you
know how children will be sometimes.

In any event, I think we should proceed
with our very lovely ceremony,

and Carla will retire
as a bridesmaid,

and she will come and join us with
Daniel, and we will finalize these vows.

Well done. Thank you.
You have been fabulous!

Love is in the air.

Ladies and gentlemen, as
best man of these festivities,

it is my one duty of the evening
to make a toast.

To the bride and groom!

It's all right.
Have a good time.

Elizabeth, it should have
been filmed for a TV special.

And that boy jumping off the balcony!
We didn't exactly plan that.

We're gonna be calling you granny soon.
I hope so. What's the matter?

She broke her shoe. I can't
take her anywhere. Mom.

Yes? Is it time to
plan another wedding?

I know that you don't
like Daniel now,

but in time--

Everything's perfect, and your
daughters are so beautiful.

I know they are beautiful, Mary.
But don't you have a son?

No, no.
Cousin Vivian has a son.

Oh! Yes. Thank you.
That's very-- okay.

Mom. You do like him?
What, honey?

I like him. It's just I don't
know if you're ready--

Hi. Did you think so? You don't
think I'm ready to be married?

Oh, Carla. Will you
please listen to me?

Please listen
to what I'm saying.

When you think you're in love, your eyes
are closed to all logic and reason.

It's not the time to make a big decision.
But my eyes are not closed.

Shh, shh. Dear, Carla, we
can have this discussion...

Without you getting upset in
front of everybody, Carla.

My eyes are not closed, mother!
Please, Carla.

Carla!

Is everything all right? Just-- oh!
Are you all right?

No, it's fine.

Carla, wait a minute!
Wait!

Carla! Wait!

My god, this looks bad.
I better go tell the girls.

Carla, stop it!
Stop! Carla!

Oh, my god.

Carla, just wait a second. I
just want you to understand!

What? What? Listen to me.
Listen.

It's not that I don't like Danny. It has
nothing to do with whether I like Danny.

Yes, it does!
No, it doesn't.

What's wrong with him? Nothing
is wrong with him, Carla.

He's perfectly fine. I'm
just asking for you to wait.

Danny's the first boy you've met,
and I think you can do better.

No, but I can't do better
because I'm not better.

You're better. You're better.
Stop touching me!

I'm not a baby.
No, I'm not better.

I'm just me, mom.
Can't you see me?

I just-- you never look at me!

And no matter how long I wait,

I can't be a painter,
and I can't play tennis,

and I'm not an artist, but I
know how to do some things.

- Yes. Yes.
- And I can love.

And I love Daniel,
and he loves me very much.

I know he does, but, Carla,

I just don't think that
he can take care of you!

He can barely take care
of himself.

We can take care of each other.

We don't need you, mother.

But don't worry. You don't
have to come to my wedding.

I'll do my own wedding. I
hated everything you did...

For Caroline's wedding.
Okay.

I hated the dumb hats
and these dumb shoes...

And your big, ugly centerpieces.

The only thing I like
is this dress.

This is pretty.
Okay.

I'm gonna keep it.

Oh, my god! Come back
inside, please. No!

I'm gonna do my wedding
all by myself.

You don't like Daniel,
I don't care. Don't come.

Because Daniel
will be there for sure.

- I'm going home, mother.
- Carla, come back!

No!
Please!

But, Carla--
Carla!

Y-your mom's not gonna
help throw our wedding?

No.
Are you sure?

'Cause she throws
a really nice wedding.

Yes, I'm very sure.

She's not planning the
wedding because we are.

Ow! Oh,
you almost got me.

Please come to our wedding on
February 14 at St. Francis church.

Heather, guess what. Carla's
getting married this weekend.

The bridesmaids are going to be you,
Heather and Rachel from school.

Yes, you plan it.
I will chip in.

And some other school friends
are coming too.

Oh, tell Carla I said thank you
so much for including Michelle.

But be on time.

Daniel made a special
arrangement with the church,

and we're going to be married...

In between another wedding
and a funeral.

It's almost time.
Uh, yes. Thank you.

There's your suit, Dr. Tate.
It's been pressed. Thank you.

See you at the church.
Yes.

Where were you this morning?

Carla asked me to talk to Danny about
responsibilities, about bravery.

I'm going to that wedding, Elizabeth.
Mm-hmm.

I'm gonna go to that wedding.

Carla refuses to let me
pay for the wedding,

but she does want me to walk her down the
aisle, and I'm gonna walk her down the aisle.

When you reach a certain age and
you're not talking to your children,

I think you're missing a very
important part of the journey.

You better get going.
You're going to be late.

Hi!
Watch your step.

Hi.
Hi, sweetie.

I'm so proud of you.

That's the mother,
the boyfriend...

And the Baker, Danny's boss.

That's the housekeeper
and the son-in-law.

I think your boy's
gonna be a great Baker.

Come on, come on!

- Who gives the--
- I'll turn it off.

Who gives their blessing
that this woman be wed?

I do.

You are beautiful.

Please be seated.

Do you, Daniel McMahon--
Oh-- uh-- see, 'cause--

Actually, Carla and I, we--
We're gonna do our own vows.

Yeah.
Yeah.

You said you didn't want to do that.
But that was before,

when we didn't make it up yet.

And we came up with our own
vows now, at the last minute.

Okay-- okay, you-- we-- we say our
vows, and then you say your vows.

But we'll still pay you
if you don't wanna do your--

Please, just...
Do whatever's in your hearts.

Okay.

Carla Tate?

I love you very much,

and I want to make you happy.

And, uh, I-i take you
as my wife...

Forever and forever and forever.

And then it--
It's my turn.

So--

Daniel--
Daniel McMahon,

I love you very much,

and I want to make you happy,

and I take you as my wife--

That's all right.
Just try it again.

That doesn't matter.
It-- it doesn't matter.

I just wanted to say...

That I love you very much,

and I wanted
to let everybody know,

and I take you as my husband...

For the rest of my life.

That's all.

Oh, uh, uh-- just wait-- one-- one moment.
We have to do the rings.

Danny. Now, please
take this ring.

Okay, w-with this ring,
I give you my love...

And-- and I--
My promise and my joy...

That for wherever you are,
I will always love you.

I feel exactly the same way.

Oh, wait. Just one more.
I'm sorry. One more moment.

And now, by the power
vested in me,

here it comes.

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

Go in peace.

Now you may do it.

Now you can kiss your bride.

Please join me in greeting
Mr. and Mrs. Daniel McMahon.

Yea!

Dad.

Bye.

Oh, my god.

Oh, Carla.

I want you to meet my husband.

Hi. I just would love to
welcome you to the family.

Thank you.

Ah! Daniel-- oh!
That's very sweet.

Thank you, mom.

It was such a beautiful wedding.
Well, that's great.

That's okay. Don't worry about it.
That's absolutely fine.

Bye, Caroline.
Bye, sweetie.

Congratulations.
Bye!

It's time to meet Michelle. Heather
would like you to meet Michelle.

Where? Where is she? okay, okay.

- Michelle.
- It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Mrs. Tate.

- I've heard so much about you.
- Oh, okay. Okay.

Ow. Honey, I have bird
seed in my eye. Aah.

Thank you so much.

Wait! Everyone--
Everybody, just--

Wait for a second, okay?
Wait.

What are we waiting for, Daniel?

- What's going on?
- No, just wait one second, okay?

Wait.

Carla, look.

Oh, wow! This is my
present for my bride.

Thank you! This is my
present for my bride!

Yea!

Look, Danny. Walking Wally
is walking for us.

Platoon, halt! oh, my god.
I-it's Joseph.

Eyes right!

Congratulations,
Carla and Danny!

Yea!

- Ready, front!
- Bye, pumpkin!

Bye, mom!

Bye! Don't worry, mom.
Everything's fine.

Olive juice.