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1
00:01:28,469 --> 00:01:30,095
Come on.
2
00:01:30,262 --> 00:01:33,140
Come on, man.
Come on, let him through. Come on.
3
00:01:33,307 --> 00:01:37,478
Come on, hold him back, man,
hold him back, man. Back off, man.
4
00:01:38,562 --> 00:01:40,397
I told you to stay off the boardwalk.
5
00:01:46,070 --> 00:01:48,239
Okay, boys, let's go.
6
00:01:56,956 --> 00:01:59,250
You too, off the boardwalk.
7
00:03:17,954 --> 00:03:19,789
- Keep going.
- Hey, I like that song.
8
00:03:21,458 --> 00:03:22,500
Keep going, Mom.
9
00:03:23,877 --> 00:03:25,545
- Oh, how about this?
- Hang on.
10
00:03:25,712 --> 00:03:28,298
I don't see any bogeymen or nasty guys.
11
00:03:30,884 --> 00:03:33,762
Pretty cool, Mom, you know.
You wanna switch the dial?
12
00:03:35,930 --> 00:03:37,557
- Oh, this jams.
- Quite right.
13
00:03:37,724 --> 00:03:39,351
Gosh, you guys are rough.
14
00:03:39,517 --> 00:03:41,811
- His pain, discomfort, manipulation...
- No, no.
15
00:03:44,064 --> 00:03:45,440
No.
16
00:03:45,607 --> 00:03:47,025
- Oh!
- Keep going.
17
00:03:47,192 --> 00:03:48,943
Oh, wait, wait, wait. That's from my era.
18
00:03:53,156 --> 00:03:55,200
- Keep going.
- Keep going, okay.
19
00:03:57,994 --> 00:03:59,204
Hey, we're almost there.
20
00:03:59,371 --> 00:04:01,122
Mom, what's that smell?
21
00:04:01,289 --> 00:04:04,125
- Ah, that's the ocean air.
- It smells like someone died.
22
00:04:04,292 --> 00:04:05,752
Aw, honey.
23
00:04:05,919 --> 00:04:08,296
Look, guys, I know the last year
hasn't been easy...
24
00:04:08,463 --> 00:04:12,384
...but I think you're really gonna like
living in Santa Carla.
25
00:04:54,051 --> 00:04:56,345
Mom, there's an amusement park
right on the beach.
26
00:04:56,512 --> 00:04:59,348
Sam, tell those kids
to get something to eat.
27
00:05:00,141 --> 00:05:02,810
- Is there any jobs around here?
- Nothing legal.
28
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:36,571
Come on, Nanook.
29
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:02,305
Dad? Dad?
30
00:07:02,472 --> 00:07:05,433
- Looks like he's dead.
- No, he's just a deep sleeper.
31
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,311
If he's dead, can we go back to Phoenix?
32
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,313
Playing dead.
33
00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:13,441
And from what I heard,
doing a damn good job of it too.
34
00:07:14,192 --> 00:07:16,319
Dad. Oh, Dad.
35
00:07:23,201 --> 00:07:26,788
- This is a pretty cool place.
- For The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
36
00:07:26,955 --> 00:07:29,249
Come on, Sam, give Mom a break.
37
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:31,376
What's wrong with this picture?
38
00:07:31,543 --> 00:07:35,755
There's no TV. Have you seen a TV?
I haven't seen a TV, Mike.
39
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:38,842
You know what it means
when there's no TV? No MTV.
40
00:07:39,009 --> 00:07:41,095
Sammy, we're flat broke.
41
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,101
Lucy, you're the only woman
I ever knew...
42
00:07:47,268 --> 00:07:50,062
...who didn't improve her situation
by getting divorced.
43
00:07:50,229 --> 00:07:52,690
Yeah, I know.
44
00:07:53,190 --> 00:07:57,653
But a big legal battle wasn't gonna improve
anybody's situation.
45
00:07:57,820 --> 00:08:00,531
You know, Dad,
we've all been through enough. You know.
46
00:08:00,698 --> 00:08:02,825
Anyway, I was raised better than that.
47
00:08:02,992 --> 00:08:04,994
Hey, ouch! My hair.
48
00:08:07,413 --> 00:08:10,499
- Mom. Mom, you've gotta help me.
- Soon.
49
00:08:10,666 --> 00:08:13,753
Hey, guys, no running in the house.
50
00:08:21,594 --> 00:08:24,930
Talk about
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.
51
00:08:25,598 --> 00:08:26,807
Rules.
52
00:08:27,391 --> 00:08:30,561
We've got some rules around here.
53
00:08:30,728 --> 00:08:32,938
Second shelf is mine.
54
00:08:33,105 --> 00:08:37,151
That's where I keep my root beers
and my double-thick Oreo cookies.
55
00:08:37,318 --> 00:08:40,488
Nobody touches the second shelf but me.
56
00:08:40,655 --> 00:08:44,742
Now, there's another rule around here,
and I want you to pay close attention.
57
00:08:44,909 --> 00:08:46,410
Don't touch anything.
58
00:08:47,203 --> 00:08:49,038
Everything is exactly
where I want it to be.
59
00:08:49,205 --> 00:08:53,250
Hey, Grandpa, is it true that Santa Carla's
the murder capital of the world?
60
00:08:53,417 --> 00:08:56,253
Well, there are some bad elements
around here.
61
00:08:56,420 --> 00:08:57,880
Wait, let me get this straight.
62
00:08:58,047 --> 00:09:00,925
Are you telling me we moved
to the murder capital of the world?
63
00:09:01,092 --> 00:09:04,178
- Are you serious, Grandpa?
- Well, let me put it this way.
64
00:09:04,345 --> 00:09:08,099
If all the corpses buried around here
were to stand up all at once...
65
00:09:08,265 --> 00:09:10,351
...we'd have
one hell of a population problem.
66
00:09:12,770 --> 00:09:13,771
Great, Dad.
67
00:09:13,938 --> 00:09:18,025
Now, on Wednesdays,
when the mailman brings the TV Guide...
68
00:09:18,192 --> 00:09:21,404
...sometimes the address label
is curled up just a little like that.
69
00:09:21,570 --> 00:09:24,533
Now, you'll be tempted to tear it off.
Don't.
70
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:27,911
You'll only wind up ripping the cover,
and I don't like that.
71
00:09:28,078 --> 00:09:31,039
- And stay out of here.
- Wait, wait.
72
00:09:31,206 --> 00:09:32,833
- You have a TV?
- No.
73
00:09:32,999 --> 00:09:35,127
I just like to read the TV Guide.
74
00:09:35,293 --> 00:09:38,296
Read the TV Guide, you don't need a TV.
75
00:11:51,347 --> 00:11:53,599
Mom. Mom.
76
00:11:53,766 --> 00:11:55,101
I can't find my mom.
77
00:11:57,395 --> 00:11:59,272
What's the matter?
78
00:12:01,274 --> 00:12:02,608
Are you lost?
79
00:12:12,201 --> 00:12:13,953
Let's go in here and we can ask, okay?
80
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,038
Excuse me, I wonder if you could help us.
81
00:12:16,205 --> 00:12:19,375
This boy is lost and we're wondering
if his mother might be in here.
82
00:12:19,542 --> 00:12:20,877
I don't really know.
83
00:12:21,043 --> 00:12:22,837
- Well, if...
- Terry.
84
00:12:23,004 --> 00:12:25,298
- I was so worried.
- Great.
85
00:12:25,464 --> 00:12:27,425
- Don't run off like that.
- There you are.
86
00:12:27,592 --> 00:12:28,968
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
87
00:12:29,135 --> 00:12:30,428
Bye, Terry.
88
00:12:31,012 --> 00:12:33,973
Hey, we only come here
to watch one thing.
89
00:12:35,308 --> 00:12:37,602
- Well done.
- No, thanks.
90
00:12:37,768 --> 00:12:39,979
Well, on second thought...
91
00:12:41,522 --> 00:12:43,941
I told you not to come in here anymore.
92
00:12:53,911 --> 00:12:54,953
Wild kids.
93
00:12:55,412 --> 00:12:58,498
Oh, they're just young.
We were that age, too, once.
94
00:13:02,461 --> 00:13:04,630
Only they dress better. Bye-bye.
95
00:13:04,796 --> 00:13:08,175
You have a generous nature.
I like that in a person.
96
00:13:08,550 --> 00:13:10,010
- My name's Max.
- I'm Lucy.
97
00:13:10,177 --> 00:13:11,762
- How are you?
- Hello.
98
00:13:11,929 --> 00:13:13,805
- That's my dog, Thorn.
- Hi, Thorn.
99
00:13:13,972 --> 00:13:17,017
Say hello, Thorn.
Well, how may I help you this evening?
100
00:13:17,184 --> 00:13:20,479
We have it all. The best selection
of videotapes in Santa Carla.
101
00:13:20,646 --> 00:13:23,190
No. Actually, I'm not looking for a tape.
102
00:13:23,357 --> 00:13:25,233
What I need is...
103
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,694
- A job?
- Is a job.
104
00:13:27,861 --> 00:13:29,863
Yeah. I look that needy, huh?
105
00:13:37,454 --> 00:13:39,581
- So where are we going?
- Nowhere.
106
00:13:39,748 --> 00:13:43,210
So, what's our rush?
You're chasing that girl, aren't you?
107
00:13:43,377 --> 00:13:45,545
Come on, come on, admit it.
You're chasing her.
108
00:13:45,712 --> 00:13:47,547
I'm at the mercy of your sex glands.
109
00:13:47,714 --> 00:13:51,760
Sam, don't you have something better to do
than follow me around all night?
110
00:13:51,927 --> 00:13:53,512
Yeah.
111
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,806
Actually, I do.
112
00:14:32,427 --> 00:14:33,970
Got a problem, guys?
113
00:14:34,137 --> 00:14:36,931
Just scoping your civilian wardrobe.
114
00:14:37,098 --> 00:14:38,808
Pretty cool, huh?
115
00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:41,310
For a fashion victim.
116
00:14:41,477 --> 00:14:44,188
Listen, if you're looking
for the diet frozen-yogurt bar...
117
00:14:44,355 --> 00:14:46,482
...it went out of business last summer.
118
00:14:46,649 --> 00:14:49,360
Actually, I'm looking for
a Batman, Number 14.
119
00:14:49,527 --> 00:14:52,447
- That's a very serious book, man.
- Only five in existence.
120
00:14:52,613 --> 00:14:54,490
Four, actually.
121
00:14:54,657 --> 00:14:56,909
I'm always looking out
for the other three.
122
00:14:58,953 --> 00:15:02,457
Look. You can't put the Superman
Number 77s with the 200s.
123
00:15:02,623 --> 00:15:04,792
They haven't even discovered
red kryptonite yet.
124
00:15:04,959 --> 00:15:08,796
And you can't put the Number 98s
with the 300s.
125
00:15:08,963 --> 00:15:11,382
Lori Lemaris hasn't even been introduced.
126
00:15:11,549 --> 00:15:13,301
Where the hell are you from? Krypton?
127
00:15:13,468 --> 00:15:18,389
Phoenix, actually.
But lucky me, we moved...
128
00:15:18,681 --> 00:15:20,141
...here.
129
00:15:24,145 --> 00:15:25,480
Take this.
130
00:15:27,815 --> 00:15:32,320
- I don't like horror comics.
- You'll like this one, Mr. Phoenix.
131
00:15:32,487 --> 00:15:33,780
It could save your life.
132
00:15:35,740 --> 00:15:37,658
- Hey!
- Hey!
133
00:15:37,825 --> 00:15:40,495
- Come back here!
- Hey, let's go!
134
00:15:40,661 --> 00:15:43,289
Hey, wait a minute! Come back here!
135
00:16:17,116 --> 00:16:19,535
Come on, she stiffed you. Ha.
136
00:16:44,393 --> 00:16:46,145
- What was that?
- What was what?
137
00:16:46,311 --> 00:16:49,690
- I thought I heard something.
- Forget it.
138
00:17:10,419 --> 00:17:13,255
- Well, how do you like that baby, huh?
- It's a beauty.
139
00:17:13,422 --> 00:17:15,883
- Come on, let's get in.
- All right.
140
00:17:16,049 --> 00:17:17,759
Hey, can I drive it on the way back?
141
00:17:17,926 --> 00:17:21,013
Fat chance.
Nobody drives this baby but me.
142
00:17:30,606 --> 00:17:32,900
Yeah.
143
00:17:33,066 --> 00:17:35,068
You gotta let it warm up a little.
144
00:17:35,235 --> 00:17:38,906
Hear that sound?
Just like a baby pussycat.
145
00:17:39,072 --> 00:17:41,909
- Okay, let's go to town.
- All right.
146
00:17:47,539 --> 00:17:48,916
Are we having fun, or what?
147
00:17:49,082 --> 00:17:53,212
- I thought we were going to town.
- That's as close to town as I like to get.
148
00:17:54,129 --> 00:17:56,341
What a weirdo, man.
149
00:18:00,929 --> 00:18:02,847
It means you gotta bounce, man.
150
00:18:03,097 --> 00:18:04,974
Did you see that?
Where did he come from?
151
00:18:05,141 --> 00:18:07,101
Oh, he turned green.
152
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,907
Notice anything unusual
about Santa Carla yet?
153
00:18:21,074 --> 00:18:24,077
No, it's a pretty cool place.
154
00:18:24,327 --> 00:18:26,621
- If you're a Martian.
- Or a vampire.
155
00:18:27,664 --> 00:18:29,916
Are you guys sniffing old newsprint
or something?
156
00:18:30,083 --> 00:18:32,627
You think you really know
what's happening around here?
157
00:18:32,794 --> 00:18:35,588
Well, I'll tell you something.
You don't know shit, buddy.
158
00:18:35,755 --> 00:18:39,717
Yeah. You think we just work
in a comic-book store for our folks, huh?
159
00:18:39,884 --> 00:18:43,263
- Actually, I thought it was a bakery.
- This is just our cover.
160
00:18:44,514 --> 00:18:46,849
We're dedicated to a higher purpose.
161
00:18:47,016 --> 00:18:52,939
We're fighters for truth, justice
and the American way.
162
00:18:53,106 --> 00:18:54,941
Right.
163
00:18:56,818 --> 00:19:00,196
Hey, man. Read this.
164
00:19:00,571 --> 00:19:02,907
I told you I don't like horror comics.
165
00:19:03,074 --> 00:19:05,910
Think of it more as a survival manual.
166
00:19:06,077 --> 00:19:07,829
There's our number on the back.
167
00:19:07,996 --> 00:19:11,207
And pray you never need to call us.
168
00:19:11,708 --> 00:19:13,501
I'll pray...
169
00:19:13,710 --> 00:19:15,878
...I never need to call you.
170
00:19:16,045 --> 00:19:17,588
Sure.
171
00:19:29,350 --> 00:19:32,478
It looks great. Definitely.
Enjoy it, for sure.
172
00:19:32,645 --> 00:19:34,772
- Thanks.
- Night.
173
00:19:34,939 --> 00:19:38,736
Step right up, folks...
174
00:19:40,487 --> 00:19:41,530
Excuse me.
175
00:19:43,907 --> 00:19:46,702
All right, it won't hurt. It won't.
176
00:19:49,038 --> 00:19:50,998
It's a rip-off.
177
00:19:54,918 --> 00:19:56,420
Hi.
178
00:19:57,087 --> 00:20:00,049
If you want your ear pierced, I'll do it.
179
00:20:00,924 --> 00:20:02,760
What's your name?
180
00:20:02,926 --> 00:20:05,220
- Star.
- Oh, your folks too, huh?
181
00:20:05,929 --> 00:20:08,265
- What do you mean?
- Ex-hippies.
182
00:20:08,432 --> 00:20:11,769
I came this close to being called
Moonbeam or Moonchild.
183
00:20:11,935 --> 00:20:13,979
Or something like that.
184
00:20:14,938 --> 00:20:17,191
But Star's great. I like Star.
185
00:20:17,358 --> 00:20:18,942
Me too.
186
00:20:19,610 --> 00:20:23,530
- I'm Michael.
- Michael. Michael's great. I like Michael.
187
00:20:26,116 --> 00:20:29,870
- Wanna get something to eat?
- Okay.
188
00:20:39,296 --> 00:20:40,631
Where are you going, Star?
189
00:20:41,423 --> 00:20:44,134
For a ride. This is Michael.
190
00:20:45,052 --> 00:20:47,096
- Let's go.
- Star.
191
00:21:03,237 --> 00:21:06,615
You know where Hudson's Bluff is,
overlooking the point?
192
00:21:07,616 --> 00:21:08,992
I can't beat your bike.
193
00:21:09,159 --> 00:21:12,830
You don't have to beat me, Michael.
You just have to try and keep up.
194
00:21:15,499 --> 00:21:17,167
We're going for a ride.
195
00:21:54,873 --> 00:21:56,374
Whoo!
196
00:22:47,217 --> 00:22:48,760
Come on!
197
00:22:59,604 --> 00:23:01,189
Come on, Michael!
198
00:23:20,543 --> 00:23:23,295
- What the hell are you doing?
- No!
199
00:23:24,964 --> 00:23:27,007
Just you. Come on.
200
00:23:27,174 --> 00:23:29,093
Just you.
201
00:23:30,469 --> 00:23:32,888
Come on. Just you.
202
00:23:34,473 --> 00:23:36,642
How far are you willing to go, Michael?
203
00:23:51,448 --> 00:23:53,909
- Hit the rock box, buddy.
- Yeah.
204
00:24:01,750 --> 00:24:03,752
Not bad, huh?
205
00:24:04,253 --> 00:24:07,923
This was the hottest resort in Santa Carla
about 85 years ago.
206
00:24:08,507 --> 00:24:11,010
Too bad they built it on the fault.
207
00:24:11,635 --> 00:24:13,971
In 1906...
208
00:24:14,221 --> 00:24:16,932
...when the big one hit San Francisco...
209
00:24:17,099 --> 00:24:20,269
...the ground opened up
and this place took a header...
210
00:24:20,436 --> 00:24:22,438
...right into the crack.
211
00:24:25,149 --> 00:24:26,191
So now it's ours.
212
00:24:26,358 --> 00:24:28,110
So check it out, Mikey.
213
00:24:29,486 --> 00:24:31,030
Marko.
214
00:24:31,196 --> 00:24:32,740
Food.
215
00:24:33,949 --> 00:24:36,035
That's what I love about this place.
216
00:24:36,535 --> 00:24:38,120
You ask, and then you get.
217
00:24:38,787 --> 00:24:40,873
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
218
00:24:43,208 --> 00:24:45,003
Appetizer.
219
00:24:49,507 --> 00:24:51,676
You'll like it here, Michael.
220
00:24:54,888 --> 00:24:56,056
Ten o'clock. Lights out.
221
00:24:57,182 --> 00:24:58,600
- Did you brush your teeth?
- Uh-huh.
222
00:24:58,767 --> 00:25:00,060
Okay, night-night, sweetheart.
223
00:25:00,226 --> 00:25:01,394
- Mom?
- Uh-huh?
224
00:25:02,812 --> 00:25:04,439
Oh.
225
00:25:04,606 --> 00:25:06,441
Sorry.
226
00:25:07,025 --> 00:25:09,819
You know, I can never sleep
with the closet door open either.
227
00:25:09,986 --> 00:25:11,863
Not even a crack.
228
00:25:12,030 --> 00:25:16,826
Sam, this is a terrible thing to admit,
but I think that...
229
00:25:16,993 --> 00:25:19,537
...one of the reasons
I divorced your father...
230
00:25:19,704 --> 00:25:23,249
...was because he never believed
in the closet monster.
231
00:25:26,670 --> 00:25:30,215
Dad. Dad, you shouldn't
sneak up on people like that.
232
00:25:30,382 --> 00:25:33,760
Brought you something
to dress up your room with, Sam.
233
00:25:34,511 --> 00:25:36,054
How do you like that?
234
00:25:36,221 --> 00:25:39,683
- Thanks, Grandpa.
- Dad, really. You shouldn't have.
235
00:25:39,849 --> 00:25:42,769
Yeah. Lots more where he comes from.
236
00:25:42,936 --> 00:25:45,814
- Good night, Sam.
- Good night, Grandpa.
237
00:25:47,857 --> 00:25:50,777
- Lights, Sam.
- As soon as I finish this comic, okay?
238
00:25:50,944 --> 00:25:55,532
- Okay. Night-night, honey.
- Good night, Mom.
239
00:26:06,459 --> 00:26:08,795
You're history, buddy.
240
00:26:19,389 --> 00:26:21,516
Feeding time. Come and get it, boys.
241
00:26:21,683 --> 00:26:24,936
- All right. Food time.
- All right.
242
00:26:25,353 --> 00:26:27,773
Chinese. Good choice.
243
00:26:28,816 --> 00:26:29,817
Over here, bud.
244
00:26:31,861 --> 00:26:32,903
Guests first.
245
00:26:33,070 --> 00:26:34,238
No. No, thanks.
246
00:26:34,405 --> 00:26:35,656
You don't like rice?
247
00:26:36,115 --> 00:26:39,368
Tell me, Michael, how could
a billion Chinese people be wrong?
248
00:26:41,912 --> 00:26:43,497
Come on.
249
00:26:52,047 --> 00:26:53,090
How are those maggots?
250
00:26:55,801 --> 00:26:57,011
Maggots, Michael.
251
00:26:57,178 --> 00:26:59,847
You're eating maggots.
How do they taste?
252
00:27:06,854 --> 00:27:07,855
Leave him alone.
253
00:27:10,191 --> 00:27:13,319
Pretty sad. Pretty sad.
254
00:27:22,161 --> 00:27:23,287
Sorry about that.
255
00:27:24,038 --> 00:27:25,206
No hard feelings, huh?
256
00:27:27,082 --> 00:27:28,709
No.
257
00:27:29,752 --> 00:27:31,670
Why don't you try some noodles?
258
00:27:34,215 --> 00:27:36,509
- They're worms.
- What do you mean, they're worms?
259
00:27:38,385 --> 00:27:39,845
Don't eat...
260
00:27:42,890 --> 00:27:44,308
They're only noodles, Michael.
261
00:27:48,062 --> 00:27:49,647
Nice worms.
262
00:27:49,814 --> 00:27:52,983
- That's enough.
- Chill out, girl.
263
00:28:34,818 --> 00:28:37,279
Drink some of this, Michael.
264
00:28:38,905 --> 00:28:40,282
Be one of us.
265
00:28:55,463 --> 00:28:57,799
Michael, Michael.
266
00:28:58,341 --> 00:29:00,760
- Don't. You don't have to, Michael.
- Take a chance.
267
00:29:00,927 --> 00:29:03,054
- Michael. Take a chance.
- Michael.
268
00:29:03,221 --> 00:29:05,640
Michael, Michael.
269
00:29:05,807 --> 00:29:08,727
- Michael, Michael, Michael.
- It's blood.
270
00:29:08,894 --> 00:29:12,647
- Yeah, sure. Blood.
- Michael, drink it.
271
00:29:12,939 --> 00:29:14,774
Bravo.
272
00:29:19,654 --> 00:29:21,156
Give me a ride, Marko.
273
00:29:21,323 --> 00:29:27,829
Michael, Michael, Michael...
274
00:29:28,663 --> 00:29:32,417
You're one of us, bud.
Let the good times roll.
275
00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:15,169
Michael.
276
00:30:15,336 --> 00:30:20,091
Michael. Michael.
277
00:30:36,691 --> 00:30:38,776
Perfect timing.
278
00:30:40,695 --> 00:30:41,988
What's going on?
279
00:30:44,198 --> 00:30:46,367
Michael wants to know what's going on.
280
00:30:48,244 --> 00:30:49,412
Marko?
281
00:30:49,912 --> 00:30:51,622
What's going on?
282
00:30:51,789 --> 00:30:54,166
I don't know. What's going on, Paul?
283
00:30:54,333 --> 00:30:58,295
- Wait a minute, who wants to know?
- Michael wants to know.
284
00:30:58,754 --> 00:31:01,090
I think we should let Michael know
what's going on.
285
00:31:01,257 --> 00:31:02,758
Yeah.
286
00:31:05,344 --> 00:31:06,971
Marko.
287
00:31:07,138 --> 00:31:10,641
Good night, Michael. Bombs away.
288
00:31:11,392 --> 00:31:14,603
Bottoms up, man. Whoa!
289
00:31:20,151 --> 00:31:22,111
Come with us, Michael.
290
00:31:32,246 --> 00:31:33,457
Hey, Michael.
291
00:31:33,623 --> 00:31:35,709
Michael Emerson!
292
00:31:36,334 --> 00:31:38,462
Come on down!
293
00:31:38,628 --> 00:31:42,799
- Come on, Michael.
- Come on.
294
00:31:45,802 --> 00:31:48,722
- Hey, Michael.
- Way to go, Michael.
295
00:31:52,392 --> 00:31:55,395
Welcome aboard, Michael.
296
00:31:55,562 --> 00:31:57,814
- Fun, huh?
- How do you like it?
297
00:32:11,661 --> 00:32:13,413
Hold on!
298
00:32:13,580 --> 00:32:14,956
Jesus Christ!
299
00:32:23,131 --> 00:32:24,966
Yeah.
300
00:32:25,342 --> 00:32:28,136
- Jesus Christ!
- Don't be scared, Michael.
301
00:32:36,186 --> 00:32:39,147
Michael, you're one of us. Let go!
302
00:32:39,898 --> 00:32:40,982
And do what?
303
00:32:41,358 --> 00:32:42,984
You are one of us, Michael.
304
00:32:43,151 --> 00:32:44,194
What?
305
00:32:48,031 --> 00:32:50,158
David!
306
00:33:06,925 --> 00:33:11,721
- Michael, let go.
- Michael, let go.
307
00:33:11,888 --> 00:33:13,306
Michael.
308
00:33:15,393 --> 00:33:18,563
Michael. Michael.
309
00:34:08,279 --> 00:34:11,490
Mike, wake up.
310
00:34:12,950 --> 00:34:14,744
It's Mom.
311
00:34:15,453 --> 00:34:18,623
- Mom's home?
- No, on the phone, Mike.
312
00:34:18,956 --> 00:34:21,918
- What time is it?
- It's 2:00.
313
00:34:22,585 --> 00:34:24,462
Give me those sunglasses.
314
00:34:24,629 --> 00:34:27,089
You need your sunglasses
to talk on the phone?
315
00:34:27,256 --> 00:34:30,968
Are you freebasing?
Inquiring minds wanna know.
316
00:34:31,552 --> 00:34:32,595
Ooh.
317
00:34:35,973 --> 00:34:38,267
- Hello?
- Michael, are you still in bed?
318
00:34:38,434 --> 00:34:40,144
No. I'm up.
319
00:34:40,311 --> 00:34:42,104
Michael, would you do me a favor?
320
00:34:42,271 --> 00:34:44,899
Max asked me to go to dinner with him
after work tonight.
321
00:34:45,066 --> 00:34:48,819
- Would you stay home with Sam?
- Sam is old enough to stay by himself.
322
00:34:48,986 --> 00:34:50,988
I don't need a babysitter, Mike.
323
00:34:51,155 --> 00:34:53,699
Michael, you come home
in the middle of the night...
324
00:34:53,866 --> 00:34:54,909
...you sleep all day.
325
00:34:55,576 --> 00:34:58,664
I work all day. Sam is always alone.
326
00:34:59,206 --> 00:35:02,084
It's been a long time
since somebody asked me to go to dinner.
327
00:35:02,251 --> 00:35:04,920
I'd like to go. Okay?
328
00:35:06,255 --> 00:35:07,547
Okay, Mom.
329
00:35:07,714 --> 00:35:11,510
Thanks, honey. It's a real favor. Bye-bye.
330
00:35:26,525 --> 00:35:29,695
Hey, anything around here
that might pass for an aftershave?
331
00:35:32,823 --> 00:35:35,492
How about some Windex, Grandpa?
332
00:35:35,659 --> 00:35:37,369
Yeah, yeah, let me try some of that.
333
00:35:42,165 --> 00:35:44,126
Yeah.
334
00:35:46,837 --> 00:35:48,463
You have a big date tonight?
335
00:35:48,964 --> 00:35:51,049
Ah, ha-ha-ha.
336
00:35:52,050 --> 00:35:55,721
Just going to drop by some
of my handiwork to the Widow Johnson.
337
00:35:55,887 --> 00:35:59,016
What did you stuff for her? Mr. Johnson?
338
00:35:59,558 --> 00:36:01,893
Yeah, well, I'll see you two guys later.
339
00:36:02,769 --> 00:36:04,229
That wasn't funny, Mike.
340
00:36:17,492 --> 00:36:19,661
I'm gonna make you a sandwich.
341
00:36:20,579 --> 00:36:21,580
Don't bother.
342
00:36:21,747 --> 00:36:25,167
Lose the earring, Michael.
It's not you. It's definitely not you.
343
00:36:25,334 --> 00:36:26,376
Piss off.
344
00:36:26,543 --> 00:36:30,672
All you do is give attitude lately.
You watching too much Dynasty, bud?
345
00:36:34,176 --> 00:36:35,719
What the hell...?
346
00:37:00,536 --> 00:37:02,955
Michael, Michael.
347
00:37:06,584 --> 00:37:09,212
Michael, Michael, Michael...
348
00:37:09,379 --> 00:37:13,007
No, Mike.
Mike, don't open the door. Mike!
349
00:37:14,384 --> 00:37:16,219
Mike, don't.
350
00:37:30,316 --> 00:37:32,443
What's going on, Mike?
351
00:37:32,652 --> 00:37:34,112
Go take your bath.
352
00:39:45,452 --> 00:39:46,954
Mike?
353
00:39:50,624 --> 00:39:52,584
Michael, are you there?
354
00:39:54,753 --> 00:39:56,421
Nanook?
355
00:40:04,973 --> 00:40:06,683
Michael?
356
00:40:13,439 --> 00:40:14,899
Mike, what happened?
357
00:40:15,316 --> 00:40:17,151
- Nanook.
- What about Nanook?
358
00:40:17,318 --> 00:40:18,945
What did you do to my dog, asshole?
359
00:40:19,112 --> 00:40:22,574
Nothing. I didn't hurt him.
He bit me. This is my blood.
360
00:40:22,740 --> 00:40:25,493
Why did he bite you, Mike?
What did you do to him?
361
00:40:30,331 --> 00:40:32,292
He was protecting you.
362
00:40:34,127 --> 00:40:36,504
Look at your reflection in the mirror.
363
00:40:44,971 --> 00:40:48,766
You're a creature of the night, Michael.
Just like out of a comic book.
364
00:40:48,933 --> 00:40:50,435
You're a vampire, Michael.
365
00:40:50,602 --> 00:40:53,104
My own brother,
a goddamn shit-sucking vampire.
366
00:40:53,271 --> 00:40:55,106
You wait till Mom finds out, buddy.
367
00:40:55,273 --> 00:40:56,691
Sammy, wait. Sam!
368
00:40:56,858 --> 00:40:58,526
- Stay back.
- Just let me talk...
369
00:40:58,693 --> 00:41:00,862
Wait a minute. Sam!
370
00:41:03,197 --> 00:41:05,199
Get away from me, Mike!
371
00:41:09,662 --> 00:41:13,041
Sammy. Sammy, open the door.
372
00:41:38,775 --> 00:41:42,028
You did the right thing by calling us.
Does your brother sleep a lot?
373
00:41:42,195 --> 00:41:43,655
Yeah, all day.
374
00:41:43,821 --> 00:41:47,534
- Does the sunlight freak him out?
- He wears sunglasses in the house.
375
00:41:47,701 --> 00:41:50,287
Bad breath? Long fingernails?
376
00:41:50,454 --> 00:41:54,416
Yeah, his fingernails are a bit longer.
He always had bad breath, though.
377
00:41:55,918 --> 00:41:57,086
He's a vampire, all right.
378
00:41:57,961 --> 00:41:59,421
All right, here's what you do.
379
00:41:59,838 --> 00:42:04,093
Get yourself a good, sharp stake
and drive it right through his heart.
380
00:42:04,259 --> 00:42:05,636
I can't do that. He's my brother.
381
00:42:05,803 --> 00:42:07,763
Okay, we'll come over and do it for you.
382
00:42:07,930 --> 00:42:11,392
- No.
- You better get yourself a garlic T-shirt.
383
00:42:11,558 --> 00:42:13,727
Or it's your funeral.
384
00:43:16,498 --> 00:43:19,418
- Hello.
- Sam, is everything all right?
385
00:43:19,585 --> 00:43:22,212
Mom, I think we have to have
a long talk about something.
386
00:43:23,130 --> 00:43:24,173
Help!
387
00:43:24,339 --> 00:43:25,841
- What's going on there?
- Mom?
388
00:43:26,008 --> 00:43:28,343
- Sam, I'm starting to get worried.
- Mom... Uh-oh.
389
00:43:29,137 --> 00:43:33,141
What's that noise? That's not Michael.
Why is he screaming like that?
390
00:43:33,975 --> 00:43:36,686
- Now, we should stay calm.
- Calm? Calm about what?
391
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,690
- Nothing, nothing.
- Listen, just who's making that noise?
392
00:43:40,857 --> 00:43:43,318
I can't talk about it on the phone.
It's Michael.
393
00:43:43,485 --> 00:43:46,237
Don't listen to him, Mom.
He doesn't know what he's saying.
394
00:43:46,404 --> 00:43:47,447
- Ah!
- Shut up, Sam.
395
00:43:47,614 --> 00:43:49,199
Mom! Help! He's coming to get me!
396
00:43:49,365 --> 00:43:50,492
Oh, my God!
397
00:43:50,658 --> 00:43:52,035
- Mom!
- Sam!
398
00:43:52,202 --> 00:43:54,370
- He's gonna kill me!
- Honey, I'm coming.
399
00:43:54,537 --> 00:43:58,124
No! No! Tell him to get away!
No! No! Mom!
400
00:44:11,054 --> 00:44:12,722
Open up!
401
00:44:12,889 --> 00:44:14,265
Stay back! Stay back!
402
00:44:14,432 --> 00:44:16,392
Sammy, help me! Open up!
403
00:44:16,559 --> 00:44:18,937
Help me! Sammy, open the window!
404
00:44:19,103 --> 00:44:21,397
- You're a vampire! I knew it!
- I am not!
405
00:44:21,564 --> 00:44:23,817
So, what are you, the Flying Nun?
406
00:44:24,359 --> 00:44:26,861
I'm your brother, Sammy. Help me!
407
00:44:28,238 --> 00:44:30,156
Sammy, open up!
408
00:44:40,583 --> 00:44:41,668
Please.
409
00:44:43,378 --> 00:44:44,796
Please.
410
00:44:49,676 --> 00:44:51,469
Thank you, Sam.
411
00:44:52,929 --> 00:44:56,766
We've gotta stick together, Sam.
We've gotta stick together, bro.
412
00:44:56,933 --> 00:45:00,937
- What about Mom?
- Just don't tell her anything.
413
00:45:01,104 --> 00:45:03,940
I don't know, Mike.
It's not like getting a D in school.
414
00:45:07,777 --> 00:45:10,947
We're gonna work this out. I'm gonna
work this out. Trust me, okay?
415
00:45:11,115 --> 00:45:13,284
- Sam.
- Okay.
416
00:45:13,450 --> 00:45:16,704
Sam! Sam!
417
00:45:18,914 --> 00:45:24,461
Sam. Sam, are you all right?
You had me scared to death.
418
00:45:24,628 --> 00:45:27,798
I'm okay. I was reading a horror comic
and I thought I saw someone...
419
00:45:27,965 --> 00:45:30,718
...out my window,
but I guess I got carried away.
420
00:45:30,885 --> 00:45:32,678
You got carried away by a comic book?
421
00:45:34,305 --> 00:45:36,140
It was a scary comic, Mom. I'm sorry.
422
00:45:38,517 --> 00:45:42,104
You know, I've just about had it
with the both of you.
423
00:45:42,271 --> 00:45:44,064
You know that?
424
00:45:45,816 --> 00:45:47,818
What is this mess?
425
00:45:47,985 --> 00:45:50,988
You spill milk all over
and don't even bother to clean it up?
426
00:45:51,155 --> 00:45:52,156
I didn't spill it.
427
00:45:52,323 --> 00:45:55,200
I can't believe you people.
The refrigerator door's wide open.
428
00:45:55,367 --> 00:45:57,828
Are you trying to refrigerate
the whole neighborhood?
429
00:45:57,995 --> 00:46:01,040
You know, it's not fair.
I would like to have a personal life too.
430
00:46:01,206 --> 00:46:04,251
- Where's Michael?
- He went to bed early, Mom.
431
00:46:28,317 --> 00:46:30,819
Mom? Can I sleep in here
with you tonight?
432
00:46:30,986 --> 00:46:33,155
In here? Are you sure you're all right?
433
00:46:33,322 --> 00:46:35,532
I'm fine.
It was a real scary comic, that's all.
434
00:46:35,699 --> 00:46:38,202
- Do you mind?
- No, I don't mind.
435
00:46:39,870 --> 00:46:42,706
- Have you been eating pizza?
- No. Why?
436
00:46:42,873 --> 00:46:45,751
Whew! You smell like garlic.
437
00:47:27,961 --> 00:47:29,587
Who's there?
438
00:47:32,424 --> 00:47:34,259
Hello, Thorn.
439
00:47:34,426 --> 00:47:37,095
Is that you, Thorn?
Is that you making all that noise?
440
00:48:05,415 --> 00:48:07,167
Star.
441
00:48:14,132 --> 00:48:15,717
Star.
442
00:48:36,322 --> 00:48:38,032
I'm over here, Michael.
443
00:48:38,199 --> 00:48:41,827
- What's happening to me, Star?
- Michael.
444
00:48:42,244 --> 00:48:46,373
- What's happening to me, Star?
- Oh, Michael.
445
00:48:46,540 --> 00:48:50,169
Michael, I can't tell you.
I don't know how to help you.
446
00:48:50,336 --> 00:48:52,129
What's happening?
447
00:48:52,671 --> 00:48:55,508
I can't. I can't.
448
00:50:58,048 --> 00:50:59,466
Hi.
449
00:51:01,384 --> 00:51:03,136
Hey, aren't we friends anymore?
450
00:51:03,678 --> 00:51:06,264
- Sure.
- "Sure."
451
00:51:06,431 --> 00:51:09,893
Does that mean we are, or...?
452
00:51:10,268 --> 00:51:12,145
- We are.
- We are.
453
00:51:12,312 --> 00:51:15,315
Well, then let's act like friends.
Let's talk.
454
00:51:18,777 --> 00:51:21,071
Michael, take off your glasses.
455
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:29,329
Michael, look at me.
456
00:51:30,580 --> 00:51:32,958
- If there's a girl...
- I'm tired, Mom.
457
00:51:33,124 --> 00:51:34,668
- We could talk about...
- I'm tired.
458
00:51:34,834 --> 00:51:37,295
We could talk about anything
you want to talk about.
459
00:51:37,462 --> 00:51:40,924
I have more serious things on my mind
than girls and school. Things that...
460
00:51:41,091 --> 00:51:42,509
Things I wouldn't understand?
461
00:51:51,685 --> 00:51:54,145
Eh...
462
00:51:54,312 --> 00:51:57,357
Looks like I wasn't the only one
who got lucky last night.
463
00:51:59,985 --> 00:52:02,280
Did you take care of everything, Michael?
464
00:52:22,216 --> 00:52:23,259
What's the wine for?
465
00:52:23,426 --> 00:52:26,304
My apology to Max
for running out on him last night...
466
00:52:26,470 --> 00:52:28,848
...which, young man,
you should be making.
467
00:52:29,015 --> 00:52:30,558
Mom.
468
00:52:33,686 --> 00:52:37,189
Honey, I better bring this up to the house
or somebody's just gonna take it.
469
00:52:37,356 --> 00:52:39,442
All right, I'll be here.
470
00:52:51,162 --> 00:52:52,204
Hi, Thorn.
471
00:52:54,582 --> 00:52:55,875
Oh!
472
00:52:56,584 --> 00:52:58,711
Sam. Sam.
473
00:52:59,045 --> 00:53:00,379
Stop. Sam!
474
00:53:00,588 --> 00:53:02,673
- Help, Sam!
- Mom!
475
00:53:04,091 --> 00:53:05,926
God, no! Sam! Help, Sam!
476
00:53:07,094 --> 00:53:08,512
No! No!
477
00:53:08,679 --> 00:53:09,847
Sam, no!
478
00:53:10,014 --> 00:53:11,766
Mom!
479
00:53:13,517 --> 00:53:15,436
Oh, my God!
480
00:53:16,937 --> 00:53:20,441
Honey, get in the car. Get in the car.
481
00:53:21,859 --> 00:53:25,529
Then dog started chasing my mom like the
Hounds of Hell in Vampires Everywhere.
482
00:53:25,696 --> 00:53:29,533
We've been aware of some serious vampire
activity in this town for a long time.
483
00:53:29,700 --> 00:53:32,161
Santa Carla has become a haven
for the undead.
484
00:53:32,328 --> 00:53:34,413
As a matter of fact,
we're almost certain...
485
00:53:34,580 --> 00:53:38,125
...that ghouls and werewolves
occupy high positions at City Hall.
486
00:53:38,292 --> 00:53:40,878
Kill your brother. You'll feel better.
487
00:53:42,296 --> 00:53:44,508
Look, guys,
my brother is not a bloodsucker.
488
00:53:44,674 --> 00:53:47,219
Look, it says here
that if you kill the head vampire...
489
00:53:47,386 --> 00:53:49,388
...all half-vampires will return to normal.
490
00:53:49,805 --> 00:53:52,974
Guys, if my brother's a vampire,
believe me, he's only half.
491
00:53:53,141 --> 00:53:55,268
Does your brother know
who the head vampire is?
492
00:53:55,435 --> 00:53:57,062
No, I don't think so.
493
00:53:57,229 --> 00:54:01,066
Then you'll have to kill him.
And if you don't...
494
00:54:01,483 --> 00:54:03,318
...then we will.
495
00:54:03,652 --> 00:54:07,906
This all started when my mom
went to work at Max's video store.
496
00:54:08,365 --> 00:54:10,242
Max never comes in till after it's dark.
497
00:54:10,951 --> 00:54:13,620
The dog who chased my mom
this morning was his.
498
00:54:13,787 --> 00:54:17,916
"Vampires require
a daytime protector, a guardian...
499
00:54:18,083 --> 00:54:19,793
...to watch over them as they sleep.
500
00:54:19,960 --> 00:54:23,547
Fierce dogs, the Hounds of Hell,
are often employed for this purpose."
501
00:54:24,089 --> 00:54:25,132
No shit.
502
00:54:25,298 --> 00:54:28,260
Yeah? Well, what happens
if my mom is dating the head vampire?
503
00:54:29,177 --> 00:54:31,555
You guys could nail him
and save Santa Carla.
504
00:54:31,721 --> 00:54:35,183
Truth, justice,
the American way triumphs.
505
00:54:35,350 --> 00:54:36,518
Thanks to you two.
506
00:54:38,520 --> 00:54:39,855
We'll check out Max.
507
00:55:03,879 --> 00:55:05,213
Sam.
508
00:55:09,801 --> 00:55:11,970
Hey! Smells good. When do we eat?
509
00:55:12,137 --> 00:55:14,097
I told Max 8:00.
510
00:55:14,264 --> 00:55:16,641
Max? Are we gonna
have company again?
511
00:55:16,808 --> 00:55:19,686
Again? Dad, you haven't had company
in this house...
512
00:55:19,853 --> 00:55:21,438
...since Mom died eight years ago.
513
00:55:21,605 --> 00:55:23,565
Right. Now we're gonna have
company again.
514
00:55:23,732 --> 00:55:27,236
Michael, Max is coming to dinner.
I'd like you to meet him.
515
00:55:27,403 --> 00:55:29,071
I can't, I have plans.
516
00:55:29,739 --> 00:55:31,240
Michael.
517
00:55:31,407 --> 00:55:35,244
You know, things are gonna change
around this house when school starts.
518
00:55:36,496 --> 00:55:37,872
Hey.
519
00:55:38,039 --> 00:55:40,583
How you doing?
You must be Michael, right?
520
00:55:42,335 --> 00:55:44,587
And you must be Max.
521
00:55:45,087 --> 00:55:46,756
Right. How are you?
522
00:55:52,386 --> 00:55:54,680
Well, you're the man of the house...
523
00:55:54,847 --> 00:55:57,141
...and I'm not coming in
until you invite me.
524
00:55:57,308 --> 00:55:58,351
You're invited.
525
00:55:59,644 --> 00:56:01,437
Thanks very much.
526
00:56:11,280 --> 00:56:14,367
- Hello.
- Oh, hi. I didn't hear you come in.
527
00:56:14,534 --> 00:56:17,286
Is it all right for the guest to
see the food before dinner?
528
00:56:17,453 --> 00:56:20,665
You're thinking of the groom
not seeing the bride before the wedding.
529
00:56:20,831 --> 00:56:23,793
Oh, yeah, I always get those confused.
530
00:56:23,960 --> 00:56:27,129
- Thorn sends his apologies.
- Oh, well, tell him I'm walking again.
531
00:56:28,881 --> 00:56:31,801
He promises to behave if you come back.
532
00:56:32,718 --> 00:56:35,972
Oh, well, that's so sweet.
533
00:56:37,598 --> 00:56:39,183
Mom?
534
00:56:39,767 --> 00:56:44,105
These are my dinner guests.
Edgar and Alan, the Frog brothers.
535
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:46,440
Oh, I didn't know
you were having guests.
536
00:56:46,941 --> 00:56:50,403
Mom, if we're in your way, we can go
eat some peanut butter in the kitchen.
537
00:56:50,570 --> 00:56:52,697
No, there's plenty for everybody.
538
00:56:52,863 --> 00:56:56,784
Max, this is my son Sam,
and Edgar and Alan Frog?
539
00:56:57,118 --> 00:56:58,703
Mm-hm.
540
00:56:59,245 --> 00:57:01,664
- Lucy, this looks terrific.
- I hope it tastes good.
541
00:57:01,831 --> 00:57:04,500
Mmm. It tastes wonderful.
542
00:57:04,667 --> 00:57:09,339
Mmm! Boy, somebody around here
has bad breath.
543
00:57:15,387 --> 00:57:17,431
Nanook, would you quit breathing on me?
544
00:57:17,598 --> 00:57:19,433
Nanook, get upstairs. Go on.
545
00:57:25,689 --> 00:57:28,025
You want some Parmesan cheese
on that?
546
00:57:28,191 --> 00:57:29,985
Yeah, Sam. Thank you very much.
547
00:57:30,694 --> 00:57:33,447
- Sam grated the cheese himself. My son.
- Ah.
548
00:57:37,576 --> 00:57:39,661
Another budding chef in the family.
549
00:57:46,668 --> 00:57:47,711
Are you all right?
550
00:57:49,296 --> 00:57:52,674
No. It's not cheese, it's garlic.
551
00:57:52,841 --> 00:57:57,804
- You hate garlic, don't you?
- No, I like garlic. It's just a little much.
552
00:57:57,971 --> 00:57:59,181
It's raw garlic.
553
00:58:00,140 --> 00:58:02,059
Garlic? How did that happen?
554
00:58:02,225 --> 00:58:03,810
Guys, he likes garlic.
555
00:58:03,977 --> 00:58:05,228
Sorry.
556
00:58:05,395 --> 00:58:06,813
Here. Quick, drink some water.
557
00:58:06,980 --> 00:58:08,690
- Hey, wait a minute!
- Oh!
558
00:58:08,857 --> 00:58:11,360
Sam, what's the matter with you?
559
00:58:11,526 --> 00:58:14,613
- Does it burn?
- Burn? What are you, nuts?
560
00:58:14,780 --> 00:58:15,864
It's freezing.
561
00:58:16,031 --> 00:58:18,909
Oh, look at your suit, Max.
And your pants.
562
00:58:19,076 --> 00:58:22,120
- I'm so sorry. Gosh.
- It's all right.
563
00:58:22,287 --> 00:58:25,248
- Now what?
- Must be a circuit breaker, Mom.
564
00:58:25,415 --> 00:58:28,126
- He's not glowing.
- I know. Hit the lights.
565
00:58:29,211 --> 00:58:30,796
- Ah!
- Oh!
566
00:58:30,962 --> 00:58:33,507
Sam, what has gotten into you tonight?
567
00:58:33,674 --> 00:58:35,425
I think I know what's going on here.
568
00:58:35,801 --> 00:58:38,762
- You do?
- Yeah.
569
00:58:38,929 --> 00:58:41,348
I know what you're thinking, Sam,
but you're wrong.
570
00:58:41,515 --> 00:58:43,141
- I am?
- Yeah.
571
00:58:43,308 --> 00:58:45,435
I'm not trying to replace your father.
572
00:58:45,602 --> 00:58:47,270
Or steal your mother away from you.
573
00:58:47,437 --> 00:58:49,607
I would just like to be your friend,
that's all.
574
00:58:50,775 --> 00:58:52,610
Good night, Lucy.
575
00:58:52,777 --> 00:58:55,697
- Thanks a lot.
- I'm sorry, Mom.
576
00:58:55,863 --> 00:58:59,117
Max, I'm so sorry. I mean,
nothing like this has ever happened.
577
00:58:59,283 --> 00:59:01,244
Major mistake.
578
00:59:02,578 --> 00:59:05,998
Our batting average isn't terrific, is it?
0 for 2.
579
00:59:06,165 --> 00:59:07,792
You were so sweet to him just now.
580
00:59:07,959 --> 00:59:10,962
I don't know what got into him.
He's not like that.
581
00:59:11,129 --> 00:59:14,757
Well, kids Sam's age need discipline,
otherwise they run all over you.
582
00:59:14,924 --> 00:59:16,801
He doesn't run over me.
583
00:59:17,635 --> 00:59:18,845
Protecting mother.
584
00:59:19,637 --> 00:59:22,974
Listen, let's try it once more.
585
00:59:23,433 --> 00:59:26,644
Dinner, my house, tomorrow night.
586
00:59:26,811 --> 00:59:29,147
- I'm cooking.
- Okay.
587
00:59:33,151 --> 00:59:34,652
Bye.
588
00:59:45,037 --> 00:59:46,956
Hey, whoa!
589
00:59:48,499 --> 00:59:50,168
Where is she?
590
00:59:52,754 --> 00:59:54,046
Take it easy, Michael.
591
00:59:54,213 --> 00:59:57,592
Where's Star, David?
592
00:59:57,884 --> 01:00:00,344
Michael, if you ever
wanna see Star again...
593
01:00:01,012 --> 01:00:03,723
...you better come with us now.
594
01:00:48,060 --> 01:00:53,315
- Michael, over here.
- Go on, Michael.
595
01:00:57,986 --> 01:00:59,738
You don't wanna miss this.
596
01:01:23,303 --> 01:01:25,347
Initiation's over, Michael.
597
01:01:26,682 --> 01:01:28,433
Time to join the club.
598
01:01:39,278 --> 01:01:40,612
Hi, Michael.
599
01:02:19,569 --> 01:02:21,613
Michael.
600
01:02:29,495 --> 01:02:31,748
- Michael.
- No!
601
01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:01,027
So.
602
01:03:02,737 --> 01:03:04,030
Now you know what we are.
603
01:03:04,989 --> 01:03:07,033
Now you know what you are.
604
01:03:07,533 --> 01:03:09,869
You'll never grow old, Michael...
605
01:03:10,870 --> 01:03:11,996
...and you'll never die.
606
01:03:14,540 --> 01:03:16,834
But you must feed.
607
01:03:37,313 --> 01:03:39,148
Ah! Ah!
608
01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:45,738
I wish Grandpa would stop giving me
these stupid things.
609
01:03:53,079 --> 01:03:55,623
- Ah!
- It's okay.
610
01:03:56,625 --> 01:03:58,252
I know who I am now, Sam.
611
01:03:58,419 --> 01:04:00,170
Don't kill me, Mike.
612
01:04:00,337 --> 01:04:02,548
I'm basically a good kid,
so just don't kill me.
613
01:04:03,507 --> 01:04:04,550
I can help you.
614
01:04:04,717 --> 01:04:07,052
Just tell me who the head vampire is.
615
01:04:07,219 --> 01:04:09,054
I thought it was Max, but I was wrong.
616
01:04:09,221 --> 01:04:11,932
Just work with me, and I can help you.
You'll be okay.
617
01:04:12,099 --> 01:04:14,852
Michael. Michael.
618
01:04:17,062 --> 01:04:19,023
It's that girl. Is she one of them?
619
01:04:19,189 --> 01:04:22,443
- I have to talk to you. Can I come up?
- No.
620
01:04:22,609 --> 01:04:25,112
You shut the window and lock your door.
621
01:04:28,407 --> 01:04:29,950
She's one of them!
622
01:04:30,617 --> 01:04:33,954
And don't tell me it doesn't make her
a bad person, Mike.
623
01:04:34,830 --> 01:04:37,624
You know where David took me tonight,
don't you, Star?
624
01:04:37,791 --> 01:04:40,544
- Who's David?
- Yes, and it's my fault.
625
01:04:41,211 --> 01:04:44,006
If you hadn't met me,
if I hadn't liked you...
626
01:04:44,506 --> 01:04:45,716
I tried to warn you.
627
01:04:46,216 --> 01:04:48,761
It was that night in the cave, wasn't it?
628
01:04:48,927 --> 01:04:51,388
That wasn't wine they gave me to drink.
It was blood.
629
01:04:52,473 --> 01:04:53,891
That was David's blood.
630
01:04:54,058 --> 01:04:56,685
You drank someone's blood?
Are you crazy?
631
01:04:56,894 --> 01:04:59,104
I'm just like David now, Star.
632
01:04:59,271 --> 01:05:01,607
No, you're not.
You're like Laddie and me.
633
01:05:01,774 --> 01:05:04,485
- We're not one of them...
- Until you make your first kill.
634
01:05:06,361 --> 01:05:08,155
Why didn't you kill me last night?
635
01:05:09,531 --> 01:05:12,159
You were supposed to be my first.
636
01:05:12,326 --> 01:05:13,994
That's what David wanted.
637
01:05:17,498 --> 01:05:20,918
- But I couldn't, Michael.
- Why?
638
01:05:21,502 --> 01:05:26,173
- Because you care so much about me?
- Yes, I do.
639
01:05:35,057 --> 01:05:37,768
What are you doing here?
What do you want from me?
640
01:05:39,062 --> 01:05:41,981
I wanted to tell you
that it's not too late for you.
641
01:05:44,359 --> 01:05:47,028
But for me it gets harder and harder
to resist.
642
01:05:47,195 --> 01:05:48,696
I'm weak.
643
01:05:48,863 --> 01:05:50,865
Why did you come here tonight, Star?
644
01:05:51,991 --> 01:05:54,327
I was hoping you'd help Laddie and me.
645
01:06:05,380 --> 01:06:06,798
Star!
646
01:06:06,965 --> 01:06:09,717
Don't kill anybody
until we get back to you.
647
01:06:11,386 --> 01:06:14,889
- What are you doing?
- I've got connections.
648
01:06:28,903 --> 01:06:30,738
Okay. Where's Nosferatu?
649
01:06:30,905 --> 01:06:32,240
- Who?
- The Prince of Darkness.
650
01:06:32,407 --> 01:06:35,076
- The night crawler. The bloodsucker.
- El Vampiro.
651
01:06:35,243 --> 01:06:37,579
Mike, they're here!
652
01:06:49,674 --> 01:06:53,595
Hey, Grandpa,
is it okay if we borrow your car?
653
01:07:18,870 --> 01:07:20,830
Weapons check.
654
01:07:26,837 --> 01:07:29,381
- I don't want you going down there.
- I'm going.
655
01:07:29,548 --> 01:07:32,426
This isn't a comic book, Sammy.
These guys are brutal killers.
656
01:07:32,593 --> 01:07:34,845
So are the Frog brothers.
657
01:07:35,262 --> 01:07:36,639
Check me.
658
01:07:36,805 --> 01:07:39,391
Who would you rather go down there
with you? Them or me?
659
01:07:39,558 --> 01:07:42,770
If something happens, I'm not gonna
have the strength to protect you.
660
01:07:42,937 --> 01:07:45,522
Well, this time I'll protect you, bud.
661
01:07:45,689 --> 01:07:48,901
Even though you're a vampire,
you're still my brother.
662
01:07:49,944 --> 01:07:51,612
Listen, just so you know...
663
01:07:51,779 --> 01:07:54,281
...if you try to stop us
or vamp out in any way...
664
01:07:54,448 --> 01:07:57,493
...then I'll stake you
without even thinking twice about it.
665
01:07:57,660 --> 01:07:58,994
Chill out, Edgar.
666
01:07:59,370 --> 01:08:01,413
Yeah. Come on.
667
01:08:02,414 --> 01:08:04,458
Where did you say you met these guys?
668
01:08:08,963 --> 01:08:12,341
- Holy shit.
- Vampire hotel.
669
01:08:15,177 --> 01:08:17,096
Here's one.
Come on, let's stake her, man.
670
01:08:17,263 --> 01:08:20,182
Don't you touch her!
You stay away from her!
671
01:08:20,349 --> 01:08:22,518
Come on.
Vampires have such rotten tempers.
672
01:08:24,645 --> 01:08:25,688
Star.
673
01:08:25,854 --> 01:08:29,316
The rest of them have gotta be around here
some place. Let's find them.
674
01:08:29,483 --> 01:08:31,902
- There must be something in the corner.
- Star.
675
01:08:32,069 --> 01:08:34,446
Look up there, man.
You gotta look everywhere.
676
01:08:34,613 --> 01:08:38,659
- I'm taking you out of here.
- No, take Laddie first. Please.
677
01:08:40,202 --> 01:08:42,997
I feel a draft.
I think there's something up here.
678
01:08:43,163 --> 01:08:45,874
- Let's check it out, Sam.
- Come on.
679
01:08:49,044 --> 01:08:50,713
Let's go.
680
01:08:51,922 --> 01:08:54,216
I'll be right back, Mike!
681
01:08:54,925 --> 01:08:55,968
I hope.
682
01:08:56,135 --> 01:08:59,888
Come on, Sam, let's go!
Move, Alan! Move!
683
01:09:02,391 --> 01:09:04,394
Ah. Ugh. Ugh.
684
01:09:04,561 --> 01:09:06,604
- Flies.
- We're on the right trail.
685
01:09:06,771 --> 01:09:09,441
Flies and the undead go together,
like bullets and guns.
686
01:09:09,607 --> 01:09:10,734
Come on.
687
01:09:32,422 --> 01:09:34,299
What's that smell?
688
01:09:34,841 --> 01:09:38,887
Vampires, my friend. Vampires.
689
01:09:55,987 --> 01:09:57,489
Come on.
690
01:09:57,947 --> 01:10:00,867
It's freezing in here. Ah!
691
01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:06,122
It looks like a dead end.
Let's head back.
692
01:10:06,289 --> 01:10:09,542
They must have hidden the coffins
around here some place.
693
01:10:09,709 --> 01:10:11,461
There's nothing here. Let's go, guys.
694
01:10:11,628 --> 01:10:14,130
- Jesus!
- Aah!
695
01:10:20,887 --> 01:10:23,139
I thought they were supposed to be
in coffins.
696
01:10:23,306 --> 01:10:26,559
That's what this cave is.
It's one giant coffin.
697
01:10:29,896 --> 01:10:31,856
Right now
they're at their most vulnerable.
698
01:10:32,023 --> 01:10:33,233
Easy pickings.
699
01:10:33,400 --> 01:10:35,235
Remember, you have to kill the leader.
700
01:10:35,402 --> 01:10:37,404
We don't know which one the leader is.
701
01:10:37,570 --> 01:10:39,781
I guess we'll just have to kill them all.
702
01:10:39,948 --> 01:10:43,910
Let's start with the little one.
First come, first staked.
703
01:10:44,077 --> 01:10:48,457
What was that, a little vampire humor?
It wasn't funny.
704
01:10:50,459 --> 01:10:51,627
Oh, my God.
705
01:10:53,796 --> 01:10:55,756
No! Don't even.
706
01:10:55,923 --> 01:10:57,591
Good night, bloodsucker.
707
01:10:58,509 --> 01:10:59,927
No!
708
01:11:19,530 --> 01:11:21,031
You're dead meat!
709
01:11:22,366 --> 01:11:24,201
Let's get out of here! Let's go!
710
01:11:33,586 --> 01:11:38,883
Go! Get out of here!
Run! Go! Fast! Come on!
711
01:11:43,554 --> 01:11:45,473
Grab him! Get him into the light!
712
01:11:50,394 --> 01:11:53,189
Get him into the sun!
Get him into the sunlight!
713
01:12:12,750 --> 01:12:14,919
Tonight.
714
01:12:16,128 --> 01:12:18,589
Mike, start the car!
715
01:12:19,673 --> 01:12:25,846
Mike! Mike! Start the car.
Mike. Mike.
716
01:12:27,431 --> 01:12:29,226
- We blew it, man. We lost it.
- Shut up.
717
01:12:29,392 --> 01:12:31,144
We unraveled in the face of the enemy.
718
01:12:31,311 --> 01:12:33,146
They pulled a mind-scramble on us.
719
01:12:33,313 --> 01:12:36,107
- They opened their eyes and talked.
- I'll drive.
720
01:12:36,608 --> 01:12:39,444
- We don't ride with vampires.
- Fine. Stay here.
721
01:12:41,947 --> 01:12:43,198
- We do now.
- Yeah.
722
01:12:44,574 --> 01:12:46,952
Come on! Sam, let's get out of here.
723
01:12:47,619 --> 01:12:49,037
Burn rubber.
724
01:12:53,625 --> 01:12:55,418
Christ!
725
01:12:55,585 --> 01:12:58,588
Burn rubber does not mean warp speed.
726
01:13:09,391 --> 01:13:10,433
Cool it, Nanook.
727
01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:13,478
- Your dog knows a flesh-eater.
- Take him outside, Sam.
728
01:13:14,729 --> 01:13:15,772
Come on, Nanook.
729
01:13:19,317 --> 01:13:20,819
Michael.
730
01:13:21,653 --> 01:13:24,573
Do you know the rule
about filling up the car with gas...
731
01:13:24,739 --> 01:13:26,783
...when you take it without asking?
732
01:13:26,950 --> 01:13:28,326
No, Grandpa.
733
01:13:28,493 --> 01:13:30,829
Well, now you do.
734
01:13:40,005 --> 01:13:42,424
- We definitely blew Plan A.
- Time to activate Plan B.
735
01:13:42,591 --> 01:13:44,217
- Okay, what's Plan B?
- We don't have one yet.
736
01:13:44,384 --> 01:13:46,052
We only have two and a half hours
to come up with one.
737
01:13:46,219 --> 01:13:47,262
Why? What's in two and a half hours?
738
01:13:47,429 --> 01:13:50,181
The sun will go down.
They'll be looking for us.
739
01:13:55,186 --> 01:13:56,313
Mom.
740
01:13:56,479 --> 01:13:58,440
This is...
What are you doing with the bike?
741
01:13:58,607 --> 01:14:01,067
I gotta tell you something.
It's real important. Shh.
742
01:14:01,234 --> 01:14:03,778
- Santa Carla is crawling with vampires.
- Excuse me.
743
01:14:03,945 --> 01:14:04,988
Mom, I'm serious.
744
01:14:05,155 --> 01:14:07,699
Listen, Edgar staked one.
It was screaming and fizzing.
745
01:14:07,866 --> 01:14:09,576
Look, there's evidence on my sweater.
746
01:14:09,743 --> 01:14:12,079
- Mom, you gotta tell someone.
- Come on, honey.
747
01:14:12,246 --> 01:14:14,206
- You gotta tell someone.
- This isn't funny.
748
01:14:14,373 --> 01:14:17,001
I'm not kidding mother!
They're coming as soon as it gets dark.
749
01:14:17,168 --> 01:14:19,920
Okay, stop it. Right now. Just stop it.
750
01:14:20,087 --> 01:14:21,380
- Mom...
- No, not another word.
751
01:14:21,547 --> 01:14:23,174
I don't believe you're doing this.
752
01:14:23,341 --> 01:14:25,468
I'm gonna see Max tonight
and you're trying to ruin it for me.
753
01:14:25,635 --> 01:14:26,677
No, I'm not.
754
01:14:26,844 --> 01:14:29,847
There's nothing wrong with Max. I don't
know why don't you want me to see...?
755
01:14:30,014 --> 01:14:32,642
I'm not talking about Max, all right?
To hell with Max.
756
01:14:34,810 --> 01:14:36,687
I'll deal with you later, young man.
757
01:14:39,899 --> 01:14:41,901
- Mom.
- No.
758
01:14:42,902 --> 01:14:44,779
Guys, we're on our own.
759
01:14:44,945 --> 01:14:47,031
Good. That's just the way we like it.
760
01:15:18,896 --> 01:15:20,272
Grandpa?
761
01:15:20,439 --> 01:15:23,901
The Widow Johnson called. She said
to pick her up at 7 instead of 8, okay?
762
01:15:24,068 --> 01:15:25,111
We got a date tonight?
763
01:15:25,695 --> 01:15:27,405
I guess so. She said not to be late.
764
01:15:27,571 --> 01:15:31,242
Well, I better get cleaned up, then.
765
01:15:48,968 --> 01:15:51,053
Go, let's go, come on.
766
01:15:53,265 --> 01:15:55,642
Die, Mr. Vampire.
767
01:16:04,651 --> 01:16:07,320
Go, come on, come on. Let's move.
768
01:16:16,913 --> 01:16:19,833
They'll be coming for Laddie and me,
won't they?
769
01:16:20,959 --> 01:16:23,462
They'll be coming for all of us.
770
01:16:25,005 --> 01:16:27,674
- Laddie, wake up.
- Hm?
771
01:17:40,915 --> 01:17:43,000
- It's okay? Thank you.
- Oh, it's delicious.
772
01:17:44,377 --> 01:17:45,878
Oh!
773
01:17:46,087 --> 01:17:47,088
Thorn, stop that.
774
01:17:49,757 --> 01:17:51,092
What's the matter, Lucy?
775
01:17:51,551 --> 01:17:54,095
Oh, just old memories coming back.
776
01:17:54,262 --> 01:17:56,264
No, seriously.
Why are you so jumpy tonight?
777
01:17:56,430 --> 01:17:58,182
No, well, it's something Sam...
778
01:17:58,349 --> 01:17:59,976
He came into the store, and...
779
01:18:00,142 --> 01:18:03,062
You know, it was just a kid's imagination,
I'm sure, but...
780
01:18:03,229 --> 01:18:06,023
...he seemed so sincere, but...
781
01:18:06,190 --> 01:18:10,444
- It's insane.
- Tell me. I promise not to laugh. Honest.
782
01:18:16,284 --> 01:18:17,702
I think I should warn you all.
783
01:18:17,869 --> 01:18:20,580
When a vampire buys it,
it's never a pretty sight.
784
01:18:20,746 --> 01:18:23,374
No two bloodsuckers
go out the same way.
785
01:18:23,541 --> 01:18:25,793
Some yell and scream. Some go quietly.
786
01:18:25,960 --> 01:18:28,296
Some explode. Some implode.
787
01:18:28,462 --> 01:18:30,673
But all will try to take you with them.
788
01:18:48,149 --> 01:18:51,569
- Nanook. I left him outside.
- Don't go out there. Stop him.
789
01:18:52,028 --> 01:18:53,237
Sam!
790
01:18:53,404 --> 01:18:56,240
- Sam, stop. Sam, come back.
- No, wait.
791
01:18:56,407 --> 01:18:58,034
- Sam. Come back.
- Sam.
792
01:18:58,200 --> 01:18:59,702
Sam, you're in danger, man.
793
01:18:59,869 --> 01:19:00,912
Nanook.
794
01:19:03,581 --> 01:19:05,291
Come on.
795
01:19:06,918 --> 01:19:09,045
- Michael!
- Come on, come back!
796
01:19:09,503 --> 01:19:10,630
- No.
- Come on back.
797
01:19:10,796 --> 01:19:12,757
- Michael, get back, man.
- Mike.
798
01:19:14,175 --> 01:19:16,844
Hurry! Michael, hurry!
799
01:19:17,596 --> 01:19:19,932
Hurry, Michael.
800
01:19:20,974 --> 01:19:22,684
Michael, they're coming!
801
01:19:25,646 --> 01:19:27,022
Come on, hurry!
802
01:19:29,316 --> 01:19:31,234
Hurry up, man!
803
01:19:35,197 --> 01:19:36,865
Come on, come on.
804
01:19:38,450 --> 01:19:40,118
They're coming now!
805
01:19:43,705 --> 01:19:45,165
Take them upstairs!
806
01:19:45,332 --> 01:19:47,542
Go. Come on, move it, move it.
807
01:20:01,556 --> 01:20:04,893
- I say we terminate them right now.
- Laddie, run!
808
01:20:09,731 --> 01:20:11,149
- Hey!
- Aah!
809
01:20:12,985 --> 01:20:14,027
You're mine!
810
01:20:15,737 --> 01:20:18,323
- You killed Marko!
- Yeah. You're next.
811
01:20:18,490 --> 01:20:19,825
No. You're next.
812
01:20:25,580 --> 01:20:27,541
Garlic don't work, boys.
813
01:20:27,708 --> 01:20:29,876
Try the holy water, dead breath!
814
01:21:03,911 --> 01:21:05,747
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
815
01:21:31,814 --> 01:21:34,442
Mike. Mike.
816
01:22:00,885 --> 01:22:02,762
Mike. Mike. Mike, wake up.
817
01:22:42,761 --> 01:22:45,639
- You missed, sucker.
- Only once, pal.
818
01:23:16,461 --> 01:23:19,256
Death by stereo.
819
01:23:19,423 --> 01:23:20,841
Come on.
820
01:23:23,886 --> 01:23:25,596
What the hell?
821
01:23:27,347 --> 01:23:28,390
Come on.
822
01:23:50,954 --> 01:23:53,790
- Hey, hey, shh. It's me, it's me.
- Are you okay?
823
01:23:53,957 --> 01:23:55,959
I nailed one of them
with a bow and arrow.
824
01:23:56,126 --> 01:23:57,961
All right, Sam-o.
825
01:23:58,128 --> 01:24:00,380
We trashed the one
that looks like Twisted Sister.
826
01:24:00,547 --> 01:24:03,300
We totally annihilated
his night-stalking ass.
827
01:24:03,467 --> 01:24:05,719
Well, Nanook helped a little.
828
01:24:05,886 --> 01:24:07,304
All right, Nanook.
829
01:24:07,471 --> 01:24:10,807
Death to all vampires.
Maximum body count.
830
01:24:10,974 --> 01:24:12,476
We are awesome monster-bashers.
831
01:24:12,643 --> 01:24:15,562
- The meanest.
- The baddest.
832
01:24:34,290 --> 01:24:37,418
Holy shit! It's the attack
of Eddie Munster. Get him.
833
01:24:37,877 --> 01:24:40,755
Stop! Get away from him.
You just stay away from him.
834
01:24:40,922 --> 01:24:42,340
He's just a little boy.
835
01:25:01,317 --> 01:25:04,070
You afraid to face me, David?
836
01:25:04,487 --> 01:25:05,947
Huh?
837
01:25:08,491 --> 01:25:09,826
Come on.
838
01:25:09,993 --> 01:25:11,536
I tried to make you immortal.
839
01:25:11,703 --> 01:25:14,706
You tried to make me a killer!
840
01:25:23,840 --> 01:25:25,258
You are a killer.
841
01:25:47,780 --> 01:25:48,823
My turn.
842
01:25:58,541 --> 01:26:02,712
Stop fighting me, Michael.
I don't want to kill you.
843
01:26:03,379 --> 01:26:04,422
Join us.
844
01:26:05,423 --> 01:26:07,051
Never.
845
01:26:09,762 --> 01:26:12,514
It's too late. My blood is in your veins.
846
01:26:16,060 --> 01:26:17,936
So is mine!
847
01:26:23,901 --> 01:26:25,694
No!
848
01:27:12,074 --> 01:27:14,159
Michael!
849
01:27:18,664 --> 01:27:19,915
Mike!
850
01:27:20,082 --> 01:27:23,168
- Don't let them see me like this.
- Michael.
851
01:27:25,087 --> 01:27:26,130
Yeah.
852
01:27:26,296 --> 01:27:28,173
Get away, Sam.
853
01:27:28,340 --> 01:27:31,218
- Mike, what's wrong?
- I said, get away!
854
01:27:36,014 --> 01:27:38,434
What's the big deal?
You destroyed the head vampire.
855
01:27:38,600 --> 01:27:41,353
- It's all over.
- Nothing's changed.
856
01:27:41,520 --> 01:27:43,856
He's right. I don't feel any different.
857
01:27:44,022 --> 01:27:46,191
Then there's still one more.
858
01:27:50,488 --> 01:27:52,657
Sam? Michael?
859
01:27:53,158 --> 01:27:55,201
I'll handle Mom. Come on, go.
860
01:27:55,577 --> 01:27:57,078
Don't let her see the bodies.
861
01:27:57,245 --> 01:27:58,872
- Sam? Michael?
- Mom?
862
01:27:59,038 --> 01:28:00,665
- What is going on?
- What's happened?
863
01:28:00,832 --> 01:28:03,376
- We have to have a heavy conversation.
- Where's Michael?
864
01:28:03,543 --> 01:28:06,713
- What happened to your face?
- I think I can explain what's going on.
865
01:28:06,880 --> 01:28:09,507
Remember the food fight Michael and I
got into last year?
866
01:28:09,674 --> 01:28:13,219
This has nothing to do with the
food fight. I think I should cover this.
867
01:28:13,386 --> 01:28:16,389
- I think you should sit down.
- What happened to your face?
868
01:28:31,321 --> 01:28:35,074
I don't want to hear another word from you
until I talk to Michael.
869
01:28:35,241 --> 01:28:37,076
I'm sorry, Lucy.
870
01:28:37,243 --> 01:28:39,579
This is all my fault.
871
01:28:39,746 --> 01:28:42,540
David and my boys misbehaved.
872
01:28:42,999 --> 01:28:45,418
I told you, boys need a mother.
873
01:28:45,585 --> 01:28:47,253
Max, what are you talking about?
874
01:28:49,589 --> 01:28:52,091
I knew it. You're the head vampire.
875
01:28:52,258 --> 01:28:53,760
Sam, don't start this again.
876
01:28:54,177 --> 01:28:56,221
You're the secret
that David was protecting.
877
01:28:56,930 --> 01:28:58,389
Mm-hm.
878
01:28:58,598 --> 01:29:00,558
- Who's this?
- But you passed the test.
879
01:29:02,477 --> 01:29:05,897
Don't ever invite a vampire
into your house, you silly boy.
880
01:29:06,356 --> 01:29:07,607
It renders you powerless.
881
01:29:09,025 --> 01:29:12,654
- Did you know that?
- Of course. Everyone knows that.
882
01:29:12,862 --> 01:29:16,574
Has everyone gone crazy here?
What's the matter with all of you?
883
01:29:17,534 --> 01:29:20,036
It was you I was after all along, Lucy.
884
01:29:20,203 --> 01:29:21,246
What?
885
01:29:21,412 --> 01:29:26,834
I knew that if I could get Sam and Michael
into the family...
886
01:29:27,001 --> 01:29:28,753
...there's no way you could say no.
887
01:29:28,920 --> 01:29:30,296
Where's Michael?
888
01:29:30,463 --> 01:29:33,050
It was all going to be so perfect, Lucy.
889
01:29:36,887 --> 01:29:38,931
Just like one big happy family.
890
01:29:42,184 --> 01:29:44,144
Your boys...
891
01:29:45,020 --> 01:29:46,230
...and my boys.
892
01:29:46,397 --> 01:29:49,441
Great. The bloodsucking Brady Bunch.
893
01:29:50,359 --> 01:29:52,152
But I still want you, Lucy.
894
01:29:54,321 --> 01:29:56,865
I haven't changed my mind about that.
895
01:29:57,199 --> 01:29:59,660
I didn't invite you this time, Max.
896
01:29:59,827 --> 01:30:01,453
Michael.
897
01:30:03,330 --> 01:30:04,540
Michael, no!
898
01:30:08,544 --> 01:30:10,004
Michael.
899
01:30:18,679 --> 01:30:20,639
- Don't you touch my mother.
- Sam, don't!
900
01:30:22,266 --> 01:30:24,977
Ah! Ow.
901
01:30:25,144 --> 01:30:26,353
Damn it.
902
01:30:30,357 --> 01:30:33,277
Don't fight, Lucy.
It's so much better if you don't fight.
903
01:30:33,861 --> 01:30:36,488
Mom! Mom, don't!
904
01:30:36,655 --> 01:30:39,199
Mom. Don't do it, Mom.
Mom, don't do it.
905
01:30:40,367 --> 01:30:42,328
- Sam...
- Mom, no.
906
01:30:43,329 --> 01:30:45,122
- Mom, no! Mom!
- Sam!
907
01:30:45,331 --> 01:30:46,373
Mom!
908
01:31:32,545 --> 01:31:34,255
Jesus.
909
01:31:37,801 --> 01:31:41,304
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
910
01:31:41,554 --> 01:31:43,932
- Yeah, right.
- Yeah. We kicked their ass, man.
911
01:32:00,407 --> 01:32:02,283
It's over.
912
01:32:04,452 --> 01:32:06,121
Star! Star!
913
01:32:06,788 --> 01:32:08,498
Laddie.
914
01:32:12,752 --> 01:32:14,713
Is everybody okay?
915
01:32:15,463 --> 01:32:17,132
Oh, Michael.
916
01:32:17,298 --> 01:32:18,591
- Are you okay?
- Yes.
917
01:32:18,758 --> 01:32:22,721
- Oh, Michael.
- I was so scared.
918
01:32:22,971 --> 01:32:25,014
Oh, my boys.
919
01:32:25,473 --> 01:32:28,518
How much do you think
we should charge them for this?
920
01:32:31,521 --> 01:32:33,481
Dad.
921
01:32:36,317 --> 01:32:37,986
Dad?
922
01:32:43,908 --> 01:32:45,910
Dad, are you all right?
923
01:32:51,166 --> 01:32:55,713
The one thing about living in Santa Carla
I never could stomach:
924
01:32:56,005 --> 01:32:58,174
All the damn vampires.
67475
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